Punishment

[Sunshine13]

Last night I was really cheeky to my Mum, so my Mum spanked me :smallfrown:. I deserved it, but it got me wondering how other people's mums and dads punish them. So...discuss...:smallsmile:

[Haruki-kun]

Once upon a time, I went home to my parents to let them know that I failed four out of six subjects at school.

The Veredict:

Until the next report card, in which the grades had better be good, you are never to go out, leave your room, watch TV, Play Videogames, or use the computer for non-educational purposes.

When I was a lot younger they spanked me too, but that stopped working after a while.........

[averagejoe]

I rarely ever did much punish-worthy, and mostly punishment just involved having privilages revoked. 'Course, I was terrified of my dad, so that helped as a preemptive measure. Not of what he'd do per se, he just had a really impressive presence.

[reorith]

usually, when i'd done something wrong, my mom just looked at me as if to say her disapproval/disappointment meant more than any punishment and then carried about her business as normal, but this one time was different. i'd been out late, sneaking about to meet my various hoodlum friends (c'mon who doesn't have a subset of friends who are a tad shadier than the rest) anyway i snuck back into the house and found her waiting there. she wanted to know what i had been up to so i came clean. i told her about what i had done while i'd gone out and how often i'd broken curfew before. well, my mom got scared and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air.

[Raiser Blade]

When I was younger I got spanked.

Around 10 years old the grounding started.

[The Unknown]

Werent allowed to read for a week...

Spanking?

Since age 5 I threathened with sueing my mom and dad should they do that...

How I wish that last sentence was a joke, or atleast that it didnt work

[Narkis]

I've never got hit by my parents. They usually detained me in my room/in the house as a punishment. But the worst punishment ever was when my father ripped 20 of my favourite comics and threw them out. I still remember that, even though I was 4 or 5 at the time. I don't remember what I'd done though :P

[Ceska]

Never got punished with any physical violence (it's seen as backwards means here) and every other I can't really remember. My relationship with my parents is build on mutual respect and I know quite well, would I do anything they'd see as worth of punishment, I'd just lose their respect, which is a lot worse to me than any punishment could be.

[Bag_of_Holding]

Having an Asian parent sucks, that's all I can tell ya. :smallfrown:





p.s. I think they really take the literal meaning out of 'break a leg'.

p.s.2. 'Beating your kids' by Russell Peters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn5jlrxcpkI

[Dispozition]

Worst I've ever had is a 'Go to your room' for around 2 hours...And being shouted at...But the 'go to your room' thing only lasted until I was around 8 or so...Now my room amuses me more than being outside of it :P

[Gorbash]

Last night I was really cheeky to my Mum, so my Mum spanked me :smallfrown:. I deserved it, but it got me wondering how other people's mums and dads punish them. So...discuss...:smallsmile:

Spanked you...? How old are you?

[Lucky]

Spanked you...? How old are you?

Too bad they don't have something like a profile, where you can go check for yourself.

[Death, your friend the Reaper]

They made me study word play when I was in trouble :smallfrown:

That was real pun-ishment for me. *attempts not to think of traumatic childhood* :smallfrown: :smallfrown: :smallfrown:

[Illiterate Scribe]

usually, when i'd done something wrong, my mom just looked at me as if to say her disapproval/disappointment meant more than any punishment and then carried about her business as normal, but this one time was different. i'd been out late, sneaking about to meet my various hoodlum friends (c'mon who doesn't have a subset of friends who are a tad shadier than the rest) anyway i snuck back into the house and found her waiting there. she wanted to know what i had been up to so i came clean. i told her about what i had done while i'd gone out and how often i'd broken curfew before. well, my mom got scared and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air.

I see what you did there, Reorith. :smallwink:

[Felixaar]

Death, that was terrible. My sincerest congratulations.

And apparently according to my mum I've never been punish-worthy, though I seem to remember my dad spanking me at a young age. I could be wrong though since most of my memories have been replace by sitcoms and/or novels.

I guess I was just always a perfect little angel, as I am now :smallyuk:

[ForzaFiori]

I was spanked when i was younger, till i hit middle school. Now i just get grounded. worst one i can think of was when my dad told me i couldn't leave my room except for school and meals, then flipped the breaker to my room. went a couple days with no power in my room.

[Groundhog]

My parents spanked me very occasionally, only when I had really pissed them off and they kinda lost control. Mostly what they did was take stuff away, but I knew where they hid the stuff anyway, so it was no big deal. The biggest punishment was just knowing my parents were mad at me, because I didn't have any friends within walking distance of my house, no siblings close to my age, etc. so they were the only people I could be with for the most part. Now they usually take it seriously if I do something they don't like, and they'll ask me why and try to work things out, rather than just saying "go to your room!"

[The Unknown]

Getting sent to your room means alot less when you respect your parents enough to not let them make that big a mistake.

Sitting down and argumenting for how exactly these things would influence the child (yourself) in the future due to traumatic expirence which may lead to fear of self expression works much better.

I mean, worked for me, few years now.

I didnt know parents still spanked their kids.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Grounded.........without pc acces, only for educational purposes with supervision was I allowed for my pc, for a whole 2 weeks once...

Thats the worst for me....But considering I am practically addicted to various things on the pc(like the internets), it was horrible!:smalleek:

[Reinboom]

I was a spoiled brat when I was younger...
anyways

I haven't been spanked since I was like... 8.
The most common punishment was standing in the corner for a couple minutes.
Which I hadn't had to do since I was 12 ish.

Beyond this the last time I've been grounded was away from the video game systems because I refused to allow my cousins to play my nintendo 64. I still got up in the middle of the night to play it however. I was set on getting everything in majora's mask at that time...

Beyond this, I had a lot of freedom as a teenager. However, I didn't take advantage of it, really, since by then I was so used to asking permission to do anything still, and was constantly nervous about asking at all...

Edit:
Oh, right, and more amusing;
My living brother has been spanked at the age of 17, and by the recommendation of a police officer on duty, none-the-less.
My brother deserved it then, though. :smalltongue:

[Gorbash]

Care to tell us what did he do? :smallbiggrin:

[smellie_hippie]

Punishments varied for me as a child. Probably the most effective was the "silent treatment" from my dad. His look of disapproval and pointedly not talking to me hurt more than any spanking or privlege revocation...

[Reinboom]

Care to tell us what did he do? :smallbiggrin:

The neighbors called the police for multiple violations that my brother apparently had committed for the vehicles he worked on, in the yard.
The complaints was something about massive oil leakage, general ordinance violations, and for having untitled cars parked for extended periods of time on the property - which is a violation there.
Well, most of these where false, except the untitled part. Since my parents didn't have room in their garage at the time, they requested him, with the officer still there to help explain why, to sell the car or move it to a friends (which, apparently he couldn't).

Well, after a few choice words, a bit of backtalking, and my brother got to a rather heated temper tantrum state. After a few minutes, the police officer made the request of my mother, and promised to look the other way - since the officer was tired of it by then.

[SMEE]

I was never spanked.
My parents would either remove some privileges, give me a speech about morals or show dissaproval.
And did I fear not having their approval... :smalleek:

I still fear it today, for some obvious reasons...

They didn't have to punish me much during child and teenagerhood. I was usually a well behaved kid...

Edit:
And I can't actually remember being ever grounded by them... :smallconfused:

[Arioch]

I rarely get punished. I don't really do anything punish-worthy, except that I can be quite disrespectful, especially to my dad. Besides, whatever I do is outshone by my sister, who is at the "Why should I care what you say?!" stage of teenagerdom.

My parents barely ever smacked me, except when I was very small and did something very bad. Now, they are running out of things to do to me: I'm too old to be smacked, I live too far away from all of my firends for grounding to be a sserious punishment, as I barely ever go out (my school is an hour away, and some of my friends live that far on the other side of it) and sending me to my room is completely counter-productive, as all my books are in my room, as is my computer.

Nowadays, they mostly withdraw computer priveleges and/or deny me the internet.

[Mc. Lovin']

Until the next report card, in which the grades had better be good, you are never to go out, leave your room, watch TV, Play Videogames, or use the computer for non-educational purposes.

Jesus H christ ... :smalleek:


-SNIP- my mom got scared and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air.

Fail-est Bel air I've ever seen :smalltongue:

also what kind of parent spanks a 13 year old? :smallconfused:

[QueenOfMemnoch]

I was hit up untill the age of fourteen.
And then the groundings started, and it got really strict for a long time. No drawing, no reading unless it was for educational purposes, no anime club, no Asian-American club (Yes, Caucasians were allowed to go :smalltongue:),no guitar lessons, no phone, no dates, no internet at all (I could find research from library books), no music, and I obviously couldn't go out with friends and whatnot.
I was a bad child

[Alex Kidd]

also what kind of parent spanks a 13 year old? :smallconfused:

I was wondering myself. I got hit quickly across the back of my head(keep in mind I was already bigger and stronger than him) from my dad for saying **** in front of my mother at 13, but that wasn't a spanking, more like when Gibbs hits Dinozzo on NCIS. The only other times I got hit were actual spankings from when I was really little, which were wholly justified. I had a habit of chewing on electrical chords and they had to break quickly for obvious reasons.

My general punishment was sending me to the bathroom, my bedroom had books so that was no good as I could literally spend weeks locked in there reading. The bathroom had water and the toilet so I couldn't pull, "I need to get a drink/go to the toilet" to get out of it. And the toilet meant I could sit comfortably so it wasn't cruel. And I deserved it every time. I was that kid who always did stupid things like jump from roof to roof or hang upside down from branches 6m above the ground by his feet, among other really stupid things. Totally worth it though, ny young kids reading this, do it.

[Dragonrider]

My parents don't believe in spanking (or any corporal punishment)...that said, my dad HAS done it twice. What can I say, I'm the oldest child - I was the experiment. None of my brothers have been spanked.

Generally? when we were little, it was "go sit in a chair", and when we got older, it was "go to your room". If we continued to misbehave, we were put in the car or the basement.

Usually my punishments were quite well-deserved: the general sequence of events went one of two ways:

hit my brother, lie about it, get in trouble
disobey, refuse to admit I was wrong, get in trouble

It was the lying and the stubborness (defiance) that was the problem, not the initial act. My punishment usually lasted between two and four hours, because that was how long it took for me to break down and admit I'd misbehaved; my younger brother was much smarter than me and would say he was sorry in the first ten minutes, so that was that.

The last time I was sent to my room (or other punishment), though, I was about twelve. I HAVE had screaming arguments with my father, once resulting him throwing me out of the car and me walking two miles home in the middle of December with no coat (he said he didn't expect me to continue resisting at that point, and followed me in the car to make sure I was OK).

But yeah. Now the only time I "misbehave" is yelling at my brothers, and then once I've cooled down I know to apologize and it's over. So my parents don't really have to punish me anymore. (I guess I have more of a conscience than I used to...or I'm just not as pigheaded)

Edit: only one of my siblings have been grounded, and that was for lying. My parents don't think it's fair to punish our friends for our misbehavior. We have been deprived of toys and other things, though.

[Ceres]

Here in Norway, hitting your children was declared illegal decades ago, but then Norway is a proud nation of pinko lefties :smallsmile: Not that I would have been spanked even if it was legal, as my parents have both read their share of child psychology

Studying psychology myself I can say with a certain degree of authority that corporal punishment does more bad than good for a child's development in the long run (though admittedly it is still debated). The problem is of course that parents tend to treat their children the same way as their children treated them, so if a country has a tradition of corporal punishment (such as in the states) it can be hard to get rid of. All I can do is to encourage any parents in the Playground not to spank their children. There are many ways to teach your children manners that are equally effective, and far less traumatic.

[rubakhin]

I don't really remember being punished much, I was lucky. Mostly I got beat with a strap if I got in trouble at school (which was often: since I was so spoiled I had major issues with authority). That was it. At home they didn't care whether I was coming or going. Even at twelve or thirteen I'd leave the house at four o'clock in the morning to go for walks or get pot or whatever, no problem. Didn't have a curfew, didn't have to do my homework, didn't have to do chores, my 'rents didn't give a damn. I don't think they thought about me much. Let me raise myself, more or less.

Though, when they did decide to punish me, they usually did something creative. Once my parents took all of the stuff out of my room and locked me in there. Just four walls and a bed, nothing else. This was during vacation when I wasn't going to school. I nearly went crazy. The one thing I had to do was keep my room clean. Ma was a neat freak to, like, an OCD level, she didn't care what I did as long as I kept the place clean - so if I wouldn't clean my room she'd bring a suitcase down from the attic and force me to pack up all my things myself while she explained to me how she didn't want me anymore and now I'd be put in a foster home where they'd rape me and force me to become a prostitute or something. Obviously there'd be a lot of crying and begging and such (to the extent that I knew what was involved with prostitution and child rape, I was maybe six or seven), so she'd have to physically drag me out to the car. Then she'd drive me to the police station and kick me out, and order me to tell the cops that she didn't want me anymore because I wouldn't clean up my room. But I was stubborn and I'd just sit there on the curb ... anyway, she'd drive back around in a couple hours and take me home. And then I'd sure as hell go right up to my room and pick up, heh. She only did this once or twice because after the first few times I wouldn't have been as scared. Although a few months ago she got mad when I called her a ****. As punishment she took me to the emergency room and told them I was suicidal, so that they'd lock me up for a couple weeks and stick me with this huge bill (I don't have health insurance). Fortunately I managed to get out the next day, and just ignored the bills until they went away. It kinda reminded me of how she'd pretend to throw me out, though.

My dad was more cool. If I used bad words he'd bruise me up a little, but that was the only thing that mattered to him. When he found out I was doing coke he just laughed. Although once - I forget why - my father picked up my kid brother Aleksander and dangled him over a two-story staircase by his ankles. :smallconfused: Yeah, he was scary when he got mad, but he was a pretty laid-back guy, didn't have a bad temper.

[Mauve Shirt]

When I was young I was spanked. Then grounded. Now I'm just constantly reminded that I'm a failure and a disappointment until they forget about it or I fix my mistakes.
So I lie about most mistakes. And if my lies are discovered, I go live at someone else's house for a while.
Yay for the internet, where it's easy to omit facts!

[ImperialGolem]

I've never been punished by parents. Ever.

I rarely do anything that they would disapprove of, and if I do, I typically kill myself (not literally) with guilt. I get overwhelmed with guilt easily.

[The Orange Zergling]

I was put into my room until I decided to come out again*. Not to mention I never misbehaved that much.

*I usually sulked for about an hour at which point I quietly came back out.

[The_Chilli_God]

Just like in Norway, spanking is illegal in New Zealand as well. Has been since 2005.

That being said, I don't remember being punished in that manner at all. Worst was being sent to my room for a few hours, and that was for crushing my sister's fingers by slamming the door on them.

...Heck, the bare threatening of disapproval from any authoritative figure was (and remains) enough to prevent me from doing anything other than handing out cheeky remarks.

[Nibleswick]

I've only been spanked twice, the first time I think I was three, I grabbed the steering wheel while my dad was driving (I thought he was doing it wrong), and the other time I was eight, I jumped out the window and ran away from school. In eighth grade I was grounded, I had to sit in the same room as my mum without a book, it was torture.

[Jalor]

When I was a child the punishments I received consisted mostly of my mother screaming at me until my father came home from work (7 PM), at which time they would decide on an extremely harsh punishment, like "We're going to take away $100 of that $150 you've been saving for a new bike, even though you earned it all by cleaning toilets/bathrooms for $3 each".

^True story, 3rd grade.
My parents learned never to spank me, because every time they so much as poked me when I was little, I would scream "Stop abusing me!" in a voice that would have shamed a drill sergeant. Even in public places.

Oh, and whenever I cussed, they made me gargle with shampoo. Their method worked, because I never cuss now.

[Jack Squat]

When I was young, I was spanked a few times, but it was mostly time out.

Now the only thing I get punished for is staying out too late...when this happens, it's only punishment is that my curfew gets shortened, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense if I didn't listen to it much in the first place.

[Smeik]

Wow. Some of your Stires seem rather hard to me.

I come from quite a nice family, my parents believed in anti-authoritarian ideas. The only punishment they ever gave me was a lack of trust and looks that made some one reaaally feel guilty. Especially my father wa sgood at that.

The worst punishment was when i once smoked pot and my mother noticed it.

One month long i didn't really belong tot he family. they didn't talk to me at this time at all, didn't make me meals or anything else. I was 14...

so, not that bad over here.

Greetings, Smeik

[Kaelaroth]

rubakhin's Story

Holy Hell! I feel so sorry for you right now. :smallfrown:

Meanwhile, haven't been spanked since I was five. I'm pretty well behaved, and in my house I generally end up saying something unbeleivably innapropriately awful to my dad, he gets annoyed, I make him laugh, we carry on as normal OR my brother and I fight (angry real death-kill fighting) and then forget about it after a few minutes. And the only time I ever did anything evil to my mum (accidentally destroying the pictures of her friend's wedding and hen night) I ran and hid in the bathroom for two hours, by which time it had blown over. :smalltongue:

[Em Blackleaf]

I feel really lucky.
I was spanked when I was younger, but not anymore.
I never get in trouble, or deserve it much anymore.

I'm a good kid! :smallbiggrin: :smalltongue:

[Trog]

Got spanked. Sometimes with a hand, sometimes with a wooden spoon or belt. Once with a garden trowel. Or grounded to my room. Generally my parents were very very good to me though. I daresay that I deserved the spankings, even if I didn't always understand why. *shrug* Just part of growing up.

[Premsyl]

My parents believed in spanking coming up, though it was never severe. The prospect of the spanking was always made more terrifying than the execution of it, and that worked. Maybe I didn't get it enough, because my personality still causes me to argue vehemently with my parents about certain things, though it's rare. I guess when you're 21 and still living with your parents it's to be expected. Hell, my Mom will still smack me across the mouth if I get to riled up, but I usually deserve it, and nobody's perfect, me or my mom.

[Telonius]

My parents didn't believe spanking was a good thing - I remember my mom explaining once that they thought that resorting to physical violence is a sign of weakness. They favored psychological punishments (go to your room, withdrawl of affection) and additional chores. They were particularly good at administering that sort of punishment since they were both former schoolteachers. So, they never spanked, and I came out of it reasonably well.

[Kitya]

In my house, growing up, spankings were reserved for the REALLY bad things... so I only got spanked a handful of times. I deserved every single one of them, and I knew that the punishment for this action was a spanking, so.... yeah.

That's always been my philosophy... if the parent tells the child that the punishment for this action is THIS, then, if the child does it, you better be prepared to go thru with that punishment.

Typically, my punishments were losses of privileges... like books... when I was a kid books were a necessary part of life, and one time I had them taken away from me for a week... I got so desperate I started reading the newspaper! (note... I was about 6 at the time)

Often our punishments were sitting thru an hour long lecture from my mom, explaining why she was so disappointed in us. I admit, I stopped doing things just so I wouldn't have to sit thru that lecture. Not because I always agreed with her, but because it just wasn't worth it.

I think the worst punishment I ever got was the ONE time I cussed at my mom. I got my mouth washed out with soap.... which kind of backfired since I promptly yakked on the living room carpet. It was enough tho.. I never cussed at my folks ever again. *chuckles*

I was a pretty good kid actually... and my one younger brother, any time he got in trouble, would do the whole "mommy I love you! don't be mad at me!" thing... which totally guilted mom into not doing anything major to him. My other younger brother tho? oy... constantly in trouble. Not going to go into detail... suffice to say, I haven't heard from him in years, and wouldn't be surprised if he's in jail again. :smallfrown:

[Jagg]

I'm finding this thread really interesting (probably because I'm a Dad) My own childhood was a bit like Rubakhins (but nowhere near as bad - although I did get a couple of ribs broken when I was 10). Needless to say I think spanking kids is a BAD idea. My wife and I use the psychological punishment rather than physical. (Go to your room, lecture that sort of thing).

We went to a friends house once and little johnny* was a bit naughty and got spanked. My daughter was standing there in shock with her mouth open and a little while later came up to us with about 50 questions and the comment "I'm glad you don't do that to me".


*Name changed to protect the innocent

[North]

When I was very young I was spanked. As I grew older it didnt really phase me though. Short term pain was better then long term grounding.

About the worst thing that I was ever punished for was when I was in Junior Highish, They took everything out of my room including my furniture. I was left with a really crappy cot mat and a blanket. I wasnt allowed anything of mine for about a couple weeks to a month. As soon as I got home from school I was sent to my room, and only allowed to come out for dinner and chores. Was very very boring.

After I hit 16 they pretty much lost all power over me. Although in my latter teenage years my Dad and I came close to all out fist fights more then once. He stopped being physical once I got to be able to fight back. And once they started charging me rent they couldnt say anything, since I argued that if I had to pay to live there, they were my land lords and didnt have a say anymore.

I didnt/dont get along with my parents very well.

[Winter_Wolf]

I got spanked once by my dad. I deserved it. And I mean, I REALLY deserved it. If I had a child and it did what I did, that child would get spanked, law or no law.

Generally speaking, though, my parents were pretty realistic about the kind of lives that boys lead. They told me, "if you *must* drink, DON'T drive." And "If you get someone knocked up, you're not living here."

[Dragonrider]

Typically, my punishments were losses of privileges... like books... when I was a kid books were a necessary part of life, and one time I had them taken away from me for a week... I got so desperate I started reading the newspaper! (note... I was about 6 at the time)

Often our punishments were sitting thru an hour long lecture from my mom, explaining why she was so disappointed in us. I admit, I stopped doing things just so I wouldn't have to sit thru that lecture. Not because I always agreed with her, but because it just wasn't worth it.


Books...I think I had them taken away ONCE and that was plenty for me! I'm the kind of person who will resort to reading the credits on the inside of CD covers because I'm so desperate for material. :smalltongue:

As for talks...the older I got, the more my punishment was a talk from my dad. Now, you have to understand, my dad is an understated genius. He is quite shy but when he does talk, it's a formulated, well-thought-out argument that is calculated so that it breaks down every protest. He spent 5 years in grad school getting his master's degree in a field where 90% of his colleagues were post-modernists, so he's quite good at those arguments.

Anyway, he is an excellent lecturer. And boy, when he got going, you ended up agreeing whether you really believed him or not, because it was better than the alternative. Because he also has a red-hot temper, and we never knew what he would do if he was REALLY riled up. He throws stuff and it breaks. :smallamused:

So yes. Lecture.

[Vuzzmop]

Getting sent to your room means alot less when you respect your parents enough to not let them make that big a mistake.

Sitting down and argumenting for how exactly these things would influence the child (yourself) in the future due to traumatic expirence which may lead to fear of self expression works much better.

I mean, worked for me, few years now.

I didnt know parents still spanked their kids.


The practise is unfortunately, quite common, even in places such as Gertmany and NZ where it is ruled against by law. My parents were never that big on it, I think that punishment stopped at fourish.

When I was younger and I didn't have my aspergers syndrome under finely tuned jedi mental control, I would be sent to the laundry room, a far more boring place than my bedroom. Other than that, my Mums evil eye has scared me good. I get my elder evil genes from her.:smalltongue:

[someonenonotyou]

i havent got punished since i was like four not that i didnt do anything i just didnt get caugth:smalltongue: to worryed about my older brother i was just ignored(yeah middle childs are the best get away with murder)my parents just yell

[wxdruid]

My mother had a wooden spoon, we used to hide it and she would always have another one. Worse than the wooden spoon was a spanking from my Dad, we dreaded those.

With my daughter, first, she goes to her bedroom, to her bed and she must remain on the bed. If she hits or kicks or otherwise fights me, she loses her precious book. Losing that is quite enough to immediately stop any fighting or kicking. If she got off the bed after I put her on it, then she got spanked. She's nine now and behaves quite well. I rarely have to resort to time out.

[Raiser Blade]

Here in Norway, hitting your children was declared illegal decades ago, but then Norway is a proud nation of pinko lefties :smallsmile: Not that I would have been spanked even if it was legal, as my parents have both read their share of child psychology

Studying psychology myself I can say with a certain degree of authority that corporal punishment does more bad than good for a child's development in the long run (though admittedly it is still debated). The problem is of course that parents tend to treat their children the same way as their children treated them, so if a country has a tradition of corporal punishment (such as in the states) it can be hard to get rid of. All I can do is to encourage any parents in the Playground not to spank their children. There are many ways to teach your children manners that are equally effective, and far less traumatic.


There is this one guy named Dr. Dobson I think who is a pretty famous psychiatrist and he actually advocates spanking as a good tool to raise kids.

He is big on spanking in appropriate situations and also that you should never do it anger.

I have to say from personal experience that for some kids it's the only way to get across to them that something is bad.

[Quincunx]

The case for 'no spanking' (and I don't dispute it) is that the law (I dispute it) steps in with the self-control that people who beat their children don't have. I don't know what they do with the kids for whom spanking is The Key, except knowing they have a kid on their hands with no key punishment.

I only remember yelling and spanking, in that order of frequency. Getting sent to my room would have been a joke. Getting grounded would have been a day-long laugh at the folly of mankind.

[Maryring]

Here in Norway, hitting your children was declared illegal decades ago...
Really? That must've passed my parents by. I still have no idea what more than half of those hits were for. Didn't stop them until I was old enough to defend myself. Though I dunno, they've never hit my sister, and my brother far less than me. Perhaps there was another reason, but nontheless, that doesn't happen anymore. Now, it's only lots of disapproval and low emotional blows.

But eh, I love them, and think they're great parents nontheless.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Generally; it's shouting. And it's quite often. I have strong beliefs and opinions.
When I was younger say 14 and under I'd get hit. Still do now actually. Not too bad though, just bruises lasting a week. But it's only when I'm really out of line now though.
Anyway; the worst time was when I was eleven. Mu Uncle Eric was down and I was arguing with Mum. Kicking up a right storm really and then Eric went for me.
Backstory!: He's been in the army and has a BAD temper. And he enjoys hitting people nd making our dogs try to bite him.

So understandably I ran. I made it up the stairs. Nearly. I was caught by the right ankle and pulled. About five steps down. I grabbed onto the railing and held on for life because I knew that if he got me proper I'd get hurt.
I was pulled again. So hard that I was literally suspended two feet above the stairs between the banister and Him.
My ankle just disconnected. Couldn't feel a thing from mid-shin down from pain and loss of feeling.
Mum and Dad (who got home just as I was losing my grip) went absolutely mental an kicked him out of the house. I never got taken to hospital because I thought (an so did they) that it was just a bad twist or sprain.
Of course now I walk with a limp and my ankle constantly snaps, twists and always hurts. Yay for dislocated ankles without treatment.

Now it's thumps or clouts around the ear; but very rarely. And last month I lost all of my books for two days.:smallfrown: That was awful.

[Saeveo]

I'd a bottle of Windowlene thrown at me. Like, recently.

But yeah, I get what rubakhin's saying. My mam's just like that. A real neat freak. I could spend an entire day cleaning the house and if one thing's out of place when she gets home, I'll be unceremoniously declared lazy, selfish and good-for-nothing. (Arguing against this leads to actual physical violence...) Then everything is bitter cold between the two of us for a few days and that's that. Happens at least once a month. I'm moving onto campus as soon as I have enough money saved to pay my rent. (My part time job wouldn't really cover rent and food, so I'll need to save up to make up the difference).

I've gotten the stairs-dangling more than once as well...

[Diakos]

I got a spanking when appropriate, and that i think was a good idea.
In my country (Denmark) i see tonnes of kids running amok, and lo-and-behold their parent don't spank, they yell at or ignore their children and i think that's the cause.
A good spanking gives a definite sense of boundaries and consequence, whilst a getting yelled at will just start a shouting competition.

I belive that if/when i have childen of my own, spanking will be a last resort, after talking and grounding, but NOT an unthinkable option.

Constant nagging however, should be illegal as that'll cripple peoples self-confidence severely.

[Dragonrider]

I think that as long as the children respect the parents (admittedly I'm saying this as a person who's only been at the child end of the matter), the relationship will work. So if the parent sets the rules and then follows through, and the child is aware that there are direct consequences for each action and if they do THIS then THIS will happen (generally something they find undesirable), discipline can be maintained.

I mean, I was NOT an easy kid for my parents to raise. Being the oldest, and somewhat rebellious, they were MUCH harder on me than on my brother...but we all turned out OK (I hope :smallcool:). So whatever our parents did, clearly it was right. And looking at what they did do, I think it was that they sat down before they had kids and talked about what the limits would be, and then they stuck to those limits. They're very consistant. Also, if they make us do something, they ALWAYS have a good reason why (even if they just say "DO IT, I'll tell you later"). I trust my mom and dad...they didn't make the mistake of trying to be their kids' "buddy" and not their parent, but now that I'm older, my mom is kind of my friend. But she'll always be my mom.

(sappy enough for y'all? :smalltongue:)

[VeisuItaTyhjyys]

I got kicked out. Then I lived with a local poet and got to attend pretentious parties and have a shorter commute to high school.

[Fester]

beating children is the only way to make sure they cook properly

[EllysW]

There is this one guy named Dr. Dobson I think who is a pretty famous psychiatrist and he actually advocates spanking as a good tool to raise kids.

James Dobson is not a psychiatrist, although he did earn a doctorate in child development in 1967 and taught in that field for some years. He is a conservative evangelical who has attained substantial political influence. Because his main spheres of activity, religion and politics, are barred on this forum, I'm not sure I can say anything specific on his conservative stances or his influence on American government, but the Wikipedia article seems both fair and instructive: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Dobson

If his philosophy and outlook float your boat, I guess you can take his word on spanking, too.