View Full Version : This is why I'm not allowed to make Golems (Monster)

2008-01-09, 08:42 PM
"Iron Golems? Peh too boring. Flesh Golems? Too creepy. I need something new, something amazing. Golems that are easy to make and that are made with house-hold materials!-Ambergaskery Flagiulm, Eccentric Wizard.

While most Wizards would be quite content with the creation of a few Iron golems, or a Clay golem, while most wizards call on a Flesh golem when they want a creepy guard, while even the most eccentric wizards are pleased with a Mud or a Shadesteel golem, Ambergaskery went one step farther. He figured that most people expect to face a standard golem, and the materials for something like that are far too expensive. So, in the dead of night, Ambergaskery, using his magic in ways it was never meant to be used, he fashioned a new breed of golems, golems nobody else would expect.

Cheese Golem
Size/Type: Large Construct
Hit Dice: 11d10+30 (90 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 19 (-1 size, +3 Dex, +8 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+16
Attack: Slam +11 melee (2d10+4 plus Cheese Disease)
Full Attack: 2 slams +11 melee (2d10+4 plus Cheese Disease)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks: Berserk, Cheese Disease
Special Qualities: Construct traits, damage reduction 10/adamantine and slashing, darkvision 60 ft., haste, immunity to magic, low-light vision, Squishy/Amorphous
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 16, Con Ř, Int Ř, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: —
Feats: —
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or gang (2-4)
Challenge Rating: 11
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: N/A
Level Adjustment: —

"Ooohhh how I love my cheeses, cheese from around the world...

This golem has an almost amorphous body made completely from cheese. A cheese golem has little or no shape at all, but once it enters combat, it usually will form a pseudo-humanoid shape for the duration of the battle.

A cheese golem cannot speak or make any vocal noise. It moves in an almost fluid fashion, squishing and sloshing at it glides along.


Berserk (Ex)

When a cheese golem enters combat, there is a cumulative 1% chance each round that its elemental spirit breaks free and the golem goes berserk. The uncontrolled golem goes on a rampage, attacking the nearest living creature or smashing some object smaller than itself if no creature is within reach, then moving on to spread more destruction. Unlike normal golems however, the cheese golem is remarkably easy to pacify. A Purify Food and Drink spell cast on a rampaging cheese golem will return it to normal.

Cheese Disease (Ex)

Each time a Cheese Golem strikes a living creature, the creature must make a DC 18 Fortitude Save. If the creature fails, within 1d4 days, they develop the terrible Cheese Disease. Although it's name is quite humorous, it's effect is not. Any creature with Cheese Disease suffers continuous hunger, especially for diary. Their skin becomes pox-marked, and yellowed. Then, after 1d6 days, the person dies of starvation as the Cheese Disease takes over their digestion system. Treat the Cheese Disease as any other disease, granting Fortitude saves when appropriate. The Cheese Disease is both less dangerous but more sinister than regular diseases in that it does not deal ability damage, but can and will kill a character, often posing a danger before one is realized.

Immunity to Magic (Ex)

A cheese golem is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance. In addition, certain spells and effects function differently against the creature, as noted below.

A Purify Food and Drink spell heals the golem 10 HP damage, and brings it out of any Rampage it was in.

A Hero's Feast spell heals the golem to complete health and gives it an additional DR 5/adamantine and slashing for a week that stacks with its other DR.

Any spell with the Cold descriptor deals normal damage to the Cheese Golem as it hardens slightly. It looses 20 ft. of speed for 1 hour, and acts slowed for 1 round.

Haste (Su)

After it has engaged in at least 1 round of combat, a cheese golem can haste itself once per day as a free action. The effect lasts 3 rounds and is otherwise the same as the spell.

Squishy/Amorphous (Ex)

Because the Cheese Golem is made of such a squishy substance as cheese, any melee attack that is not slashing has a 20% chance of hitting an air pocket within the golem (Which negates half the damage). Also, because it is made of such an Amorphous material, a Cheese Golem can move through small cracks in doors and walls, like a creature affected by Gaseous Form.


A Cheese golem’s body must be sculpted from a single block of cheese weighing at least 1,000 pounds, treated with rare oils and powders worth 1,500 gp. Creating the body requires a DC 25 Craft (Dairy) check or a DC 25 Profession (Dairy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct, animate objects, commune, resurrection, Hero's Feast Create Food and Water, caster must be at least 11th level; Price 45,000 gp; Cost 16,500 gp + 1,540 XP.

2008-01-09, 11:21 PM
I think I had a nightmare about something like this when I was 8...Other than that it looks good althugh the name or the post wasn't lieing.

2008-01-10, 04:43 AM
So... is that 1d6 DAYS (in which case there is no chance to survive without magical cure if a 1 is rolled since it requires 2 successful saves in a row to recover from a standard disease). Or 1d6 FAILED SAVES? Also, even 6 days is awfully quick to die of starvation... maybe thirst instead??? Or maybe have it be a truly blood curdling monster whose disease turns your blood into red cheese instantly after it completes its hold of the digestive tract?

Also does hitting an air-pocket negate all damage from the strike or release a concentrated cloud of Limburger stench, or what?

2008-01-10, 04:59 AM
Seems a little cheap, construction wise...

I don't know, with the fluff you put into, I guess I just thought it would be a bit weaker.... Lower HD and Str and such... It's so absurd, most players would disregard it anyway... Which allows for the disease to strike them better, of course, sense deception is the best route for disease.

2008-01-10, 05:23 AM
You know, there's a calzone golem Wizards made...

2008-01-10, 10:37 AM
Monster edited slightly. Hitting an air pocket negates half the damage.

The monster is more expensive than its near equivilant monster (Iron Golem) because it is more difficult to create, takes more spells, and is really weird. However, it is cheaper to make it yourself.

The Disease is not magical, and kills after 1d6 days, which each day granting a chance to overcome the disease as normal (Two sucessive suceeded saves).

Finally, where can I find this calzone golem?

2008-01-10, 01:37 PM
Finally, where can I find this calzone golem?

Here (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/oa/20010413a) :smallbiggrin:

2008-01-10, 08:30 PM
Nice. Guess no one caught the double meaning.

2008-01-10, 09:04 PM
...what double meaning? Evidentially not, since not even I get it.