Needa vent >.<

[†Seer†]

I love my GF but she always assumes something's wrong with me...

I sent her three messages (LJ, FB, MS) last night just letting her know that I love her, and today she's like, "Were you okay last night? You sent me a bunch of messages."

I just hate it, because I never know whether or not to do romantic stuff for her... afraid I'ma give her a rose and she'll assume I'm going to kick the bucket O.o


Anyways...sorry for the angst, just needed to get it out of my system.

[Dragonrider]

This is a good place to vent if you need it... :smallsmile: (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=58336)

[Syka]

DR pointed you to the right place, but to give advice.

Let her know you are doing it just to show you care and assure her that, if there was something wrong, she would be the first to know and you wouldn't keep her in the dark. Best way to solve most problems is communication. :smallsmile:

Cheers,
Syka

[Midnight Son]

So you're upset because your girlfriend cares enough about you to make sure you're okay? Wow! what a hard life.

Meanwhile, some of us lack even a girlfriend, much less one who seems as caring as yours.http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a122/Dwarf71/Smileys/FISH_SLAP_by_carnival.gif

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a122/Dwarf71/Smileys/allalone.gif

[FoE]

So you're upset because your girlfriend cares enough about you to make sure you're okay? Wow! what a hard life.

Indeed, Seer. What are you complaining about here?

[†Seer†]

Heh not complaining that she cares, but that she assumes that I'm going to, or have done something stupid to myself... Spent a long time getting past stuff like that.

Anyways, gracias Drag and Syk.

[Zeb The Troll]

Indeed, Seer. What are you complaining about here?I think what he's getting at is that all gestures seem to lead to a concern for no apparent reason.

S- I love you, hon! :smallbiggrin:
G- Are you okay? :smallfrown:

S- *gives flower* I was thinking of you! :smallbiggrin:
G- Is something wrong? :smallfrown:

I think it would bug me too, if every nice gesture seemed to need to have some kind of hidden meaning instead of just being a nice gesture.

Edit: heh, simu'd by the OP. :smallcool:

[Felixaar]

that'd be funny. bring her like, massive amounts of chocolate and dozens of roses. she'll be like "Holy ****! Are you dieing?"

Also full agreeance on turning this over to the Relationship Woes thread. A little more detail would be nice, too.

[Jimblee]

I sent her three messages (LJ, FB, MS) last night just letting her know that I love her, and today she's like, "Were you okay last night? You sent me a bunch of messages.

I should be so lucky



Try something that couldn't possibly be misconstrued for misfortune. Bake a cake. Nothing wins the hearts of lovers like cakes


Edit: If you want, I can hook you up with some simple stuff that always seems to work on, and for me

[Telonius]

Ah, gender communication difficulties.

Girl: How are you?
Boy: I'm fine.
G: Really? You haven't told me how you're doing recently.
B: Really, I'm okay. I'd tell you if there were anything wrong.
G: You seem hostile, is there something wrong?
B: Nothing's wrong. Why do you keep asking me these questions?
G: Oh dear. You're all defensive, there must be something behind it. What's bothering you?
B: What's bothering me is all these ^$&#@ questions!

Does that about nail it?

You've both gotta realize that - in general, in this culture - men and women talk differently. In general, women tend to talk a lot about feelings. They're taught to share emotion. In general, men are taught to say what needs to be said in as few words as possible. Neither way is "correct," but the two communication styles are often at cross-purposes

Take the example above. The girl just wants to start a conversation and see how you're doing, as a vehicle to discuss other things - what a great opportunity for me to see how his day went. The boy treats it as a question-answer session - she was curious, and wants an answer, so I tell her the answer and that should satisfy her. The girl gets confused when she gets a short answer, so she tries again. The guy gets confused when the girl isn't satisfied with the correct answer he gave, so he tells her again. It spirals down from there.

I'd suggest reading up on this. Deborah Tannen (full disclosure: she taught at my university) has a couple of great books about it. Bonus points for you for reading something by a female professional. Good luck! :smallcool:

[Darth Mario]

Mmmm... Never had that trouble myself, but friends of mine have.

I've gotta say, though: if you want a romantic gesture with no ambiguity in meaning, do what I do:

Tango with her to Tran-Siberian Orchestra's "Wizard's in Winter".

Nothing says romance like Symphonic Rock.

[Tom_Violence]

Seems pretty straightforward to me. If my significant other sent me 3 messages in a single evening just to tell me that she loves me then I'd wonder what was up too. Why? Cos saying the same thing three times in one night is too much. It ain't normal, it ain't expected, and it ain't really necessary either.

So yeah, you done something a bit odd, and she queried why. There ya go.

[bosssmiley]

So you're upset because your girlfriend cares enough about you to make sure you're okay? Wow! what a hard life.

Lulz. Seriously Seer, you worry too much. Don't sweat the small stuff.
"Oh, and tell her she's beautiful every time you see her. Tell her she's beautiful...even when she's not." </titus pullo>


Meanwhile, some of us lack even a girlfriend, much less one who seems as caring as yours.http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a122/Dwarf71/Smileys/FISH_SLAP_by_carnival.gif

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a122/Dwarf71/Smileys/allalone.gif

W. T. H? I thought you were happily coupled up big man. Wha happen? :smalleek:

[Midnight Son]

W. T. H? I thought you were happily coupled up big man. Wha happen? :smalleek:How'd I miss this?

Been single again for a while now. Big break-up...Sad Midnight Son. I got better...Note the message in my sig.