I am a *terrible* person.

[kjones]

So, this is a gaming story, but I thought it wasn't really game-related enough to go over in Gaming (general). (I spend most of my time on GiantITP over there, but I don't hang out on Friendly Banter that much.) I wanted to share it both to get it off my chest, and because it will make you feel better by comparison.

When I game, I'm almost always the DM, and so I jumped at the chance to play in my friend's D20 Modern (Urban Arcana) campaign. We're an odd, eclectic bunch of characters, but most of them are halfway decent people... my character, however, is kind of a rhymes-with-witch, albeit with good reason. (She's the only non-magical character in the group, and she's very bitter about it.) The group is okay with it, though, and it's fun to play someone who's so different than myself. (Me: shy, quiet, generally an okay guy. Her: sarcastic, selfish, female... not the sort of person you would have over to your house more than once.)

One of the other characters in the group is a real do-gooder, boy scout, knight-wannabe type, and needless to say, our characters don't get along. (It's all in good fun, though.) I once went through his pockets, swiping anything I could, while pretending to administer first aid when he had been knocked unconscious. He eventually figured it out, and called me on it; my character was looking to get even.

We were fighting this guy, the details aren't important, beyond the fact that a room full of magical lava, with a bridge over it, was involved. I got the incredibly sinister idea to trip him over the edge of the bridge, then catch him before he fell, and make him cry "uncle!" and recognize my innate superiority as a human being. Notes were passed to the GM, and I made my roll.

Now, I didn't really expect this to work, since he had a much higher strength bonus than me, but he ended up rolling a natural one on the opposed check... However, I didn't get a chance to explain the "I'm not really going to kill you" part; the player declared that they were going to start spending action dice.

It took three or four action dice (a lot, if you're not familiar with the game... you only get 5 per level) to beat my roll, and by this point I realized that my "clever" idea, which had been so amusing to me, wasn't really that funny to the person whose character I almost killed.

This isn't the part that makes me a bad person yet, though. After the die-rolling was resolved, the player was still pissed, both that I tried to kill her character, and that I made her spend so many action dice. She said something along the lines of, "You're so dead," and it took me a second to realize she wasn't talking in character - by the time I had sussed that out, she had jumped up on a chair behind me and put me in a chokehold. (This is real life, now.)

I'm not exactly a big guy, but she wasn't a terribly large girl... I acted reflexively, bending over and pulling her over my shoulder, and before I knew it, I had flipped her over my shoulder and flat on her back onto the floor.

Fortunately, she didn't hit her head or anything, though she very well could have. I did manage to break her hair clip, though, and I can't imagine that the fall was comfortable. I started apologizing immediately and offered to help her up, but she was (understandably) really mad by this point, so I gave her a moment to cool off.

I apologized profusely, for both my in-character and out-of-character actions, and while I get the feeling that it's not quite enough yet, I think she knows that I mean it. She's still rather angry at me, though, and it will probably take her a while to forgive me.

I'm not going to make the same mistake twice; I'm thinking that my character will have some sort of epiphany after she realizes how easily she could have killed someone. (She's a bitch, but she's not really a killer...) And I'm certainly not going to re-enact my physical domination over girls whom I outsize by four inches and fifty pounds.

So, the next time you feel bad about yourself, remember that you probably haven't beaten up on someone in AND out of character within thirty seconds of each other, and hopefully that'll make you feel a little better.

[Gaelbert]

Honestly, to me it sounds like the other person took it way out of proportion. In my opinion, you did no wrong with the flip. She instigated physical violence, you defended yourself. I'll probably be shot for saying this, but D&D is just a game. No person should be getting that angry over something like this. However, I would suggest you carefully watch your actions around her in the future, since she's proven herself capable of violence against you, and she's already mad.

[Fester]

ask her out

nothing says "i'm sorry" than an evening filled with sexual innuendo

[Archangel Yuki]

Call her out on LARPing.

[Jack Squat]

you just acted in self defense, so don't feel bad about flipping her onto her back.

I also say that she takes the game too seriously to get worked up over a harmless prank. I'd look for a new group.

[kjones]

See, there's the thing: one might say that I was "defending myself" but honestly, I'm a lot bigger than she is and she wasn't really hurting me. I don't think she seriously meant to choke me - if I had asked/told her to stop, she probably would have. I acted without thinking and ended up hurting her; that's what I feel bad for.

We're pretty good friends OOC, so I'm not worried about her going psycho or anything. Mistakes were made. I just feel responsible.

Now, was she over-reacting? Yes. Did I over-react to her over-reaction? Very yes. Should I not have tried to kill her character in the first place? Yes, and that's the other part of it. She didn't really do anything to deserve this, other than play the character she wanted to play; I could make the same argument for my character, but my wish to play a certain type of character shouldn't over-ride hers. Sort of a "my right to swing my fist ends at your nose" sort of thing.

Anyways, I just feel bad, but thought it would make a funny story to somebody who can look at it from the outside and laugh.

Fester: Fun fact: This girl is my ex. Which makes this even more awkward and uncomfortable.

Oh, and we have implemented the Fear the Boot (http://www.feartheboot.com/comic/default.aspx?c=22) Rule: "If you're standing up, it's LARPing."

[Serpentine]

I'm not exactly a big guy, but she wasn't a terribly large girl... I acted reflexively, bending over and pulling her over my shoulder, and before I knew it, I had flipped her over my shoulder and flat on her back onto the floor.That's... actually pretty cool o.O
Explain your whole plan to her, I'm sure it'll be fine.

[Jack Squat]

See, there's the thing: one might say that I was "defending myself" but honestly, I'm a lot bigger than she is and she wasn't really hurting me. I don't think she seriously meant to choke me - if I had asked/told her to stop, she probably would have. I acted without thinking and ended up hurting her; that's what I feel bad for.

The thing is though, she had you in a chokehold, as you put it, and I've seen people pass out after being in one for about 5 seconds. It doesn't matter the size of the person preforming it. With that in mind, you don't have time to think, she was violent and you acted appropriately. It was entirely self defense, and you may have inflicted a minor amount of pain*, but you didn't cause any lasting damage.

* Flipping someone onto a table isn't that bad...it stings, yes, but not more than that. I fell 8 feet from a tree straight onto my back when I was young and walked it off, trust me when I say she wasn't hurt.

[RoboticSheeple]

Crazy girls make the most interesting dates. Ask her out is seconded!

[RandomLogic]

Hah! Thats a misunderstanding. Doesn't make you a terrible person.

Wishing people dead because traffic slows down makes you a terrible person.

[Eita]

*snip*

No, it makes her a terrible person for getting violent over a game.

[ArlEammon]

See, there's the thing: one might say that I was "defending myself" but honestly, I'm a lot bigger than she is and she wasn't really hurting me. I don't think she seriously meant to choke me - if I had asked/told her to stop, she probably would have. I acted without thinking and ended up hurting her; that's what I feel bad for.

We're pretty good friends OOC, so I'm not worried about her going psycho or anything. Mistakes were made. I just feel responsible.

Now, was she over-reacting? Yes. Did I over-react to her over-reaction? Very yes. Should I not have tried to kill her character in the first place? Yes, and that's the other part of it. She didn't really do anything to deserve this, other than play the character she wanted to play; I could make the same argument for my character, but my wish to play a certain type of character shouldn't over-ride hers. Sort of a "my right to swing my fist ends at your nose" sort of thing.

Anyways, I just feel bad, but thought it would make a funny story to somebody who can look at it from the outside and laugh.

Fester: Fun fact: This girl is my ex. Which makes this even more awkward and uncomfortable.

Oh, and we have implemented the Fear the Boot (http://www.feartheboot.com/comic/default.aspx?c=22) Rule: "If you're standing up, it's LARPing."

If she went for your groin, then she could take you down.

[North]

Wow thats quite extreme. My games are never that exciting.

[Icewalker]

Honestly, I think tripping and catching a person over a pit of lava would be totally in character and awesome for a jerk of a character who wanted revenge over a quasi-imagined slight. Sounds like she overreacted, and you reflexively (although somewhat badly) reacted to her overreaction.

[Pyrian]

Why don't actually bad people ever think like this? :smallconfused:

[Cuddly]

I once hit my sister over the head with a piece of rebarr because she was in my sandbox.

That bitch.

[KindaChang]

You know what? Regardless of any difference in physicalities of individuals involved, if someone said to me, "You are so dead," without it being obvious that it was a joke then ran over and started actually trying to choke me I would not feel bad over any injuries they sustained as a result of me defending myself.

She really needs to remember that it's just a game.

[KuReshtin]

Why don't actually bad people ever think like this? :smallconfused:

Because that's what makes them bad.
Good people think these things over and feel bad about it, while a bad person wouldn't think twice about it.

As has been said before. If someone puts you in a choke hold, no matter what size you or your assailant are, she could have knocked you out cold in a matter of seconds. Okay, so if she's not a trained martial artist, it's pretty unlikely that she'd be able to apply pressure to the vital spots which would restrict blood flow to your brain, but it could still happen.

You acted in self defence. You're not a bad person.
Get over it.

[Narmoth]

Hehe. Really fun reading, but if I was the dm, I would throw you both out for larping.
Then again, I'm amazed that no-one stopped her when she attacked you. That you threw her on the floor was her fault as the attacker.
How old are your gaming group anyway?

The pocketpicking thing is fun though. I did it myself in an evil group (I played the only non evil aligment) when my CN mage looted the dwarf while stabilizing him. He never found out

[EvilElitest]

So, the next time you feel bad about yourself, remember that you probably haven't beaten up on someone in AND out of character within thirty seconds of each other, and hopefully that'll make you feel a little better.


Why don't actually bad people ever think like this? :smallconfused:

One of my early players threw a punch at me when his characters died. I think he was aiming for my head, problem was i didn't see him and stood up holding my book. I'm about a foot taller than him and much larger do he hit my book which i was holding to my chest and sprained his wrist
from
EE

[Mc. Lovin']

I can never understand why people play charachters that would purposfully annoy and hinder the other players, I play DnD to have fun, as do the rest of the group. Surly it's more fun to get along together and enjoy the game right?

[Kaelaroth]

I once hit my sister over the head with a piece of rebarr because she was in my sandbox.

That bitch.

Hah! That's brilliant! :smallamused:

And kjones, you were both massively over-reacting in my opinion. I suggest you (with supervision from friends) mutually apologise, and get back to DnD.

[Gungnir]

I can never understand why people play charachters that would purposfully annoy and hinder the other players, I play DnD to have fun, as do the rest of the group. Surly it's more fun to get along together and enjoy the game right?

It's always fun to grief your friends a little while playing games, especially competitive ones. It's just important to make sure not to take it too far. Generally, I consider "too far" to be anything that forces me to stop playing normally to mess with other players.

[Evil_Pacifist]

I once hit my sister over the head with a piece of rebarr because she was in my sandbox.

That bitch.

I would be most appreciative if you would allow me to sig this, good sir or madam.

[Tormsskull]

I can never understand why people play charachters that would purposfully annoy and hinder the other players, I play DnD to have fun, as do the rest of the group. Surly it's more fun to get along together and enjoy the game right?

It really all depends. Often times characters can start out all seeing things in the same light. Then something happens that two players and their respective characters view in a different way. Maybe an enemy did something and one PC wants to kill them for it, and another wants to have them taken to a city to face a court.

Its possible that the characters could grow apart, so to speak. To always handwave these type of things away and say "No, you cannot do that because one of the other players might get upset" really stifles roleplaying and immersion.

Some of the best games I have been involved in have included a PC that was trying to kill another PC off. Or a PC that was trying to put another PC in his place, etc.

Very, very few players I know play sadistic characters. As such, if a disagreement did occur, it can 99% of the time be solved by one of the PCs approaching the other and trying to talk to them. This rarely occurs though because people are in general, stubborn, which flows into their characters.

Regardless, I am happy to allow whatever occurs occur, without stepping in and trying to force everyone to be friends AS LONG AS I'm playing with adults/mature people who realise that it is in fact a game we are playing, and everyone is trying to have fun.

Personally, my PC could die to another PC and I could congratulate them on their good plan and take it all in stride, but I realise that not everyone is as easy-going as I am.

[Zombie pixe]

the story deserves an ouch factor of 11/10! :smallwink:

still, i have done worse...

(im not going into it here, and i am not going to share it anywhere, but i did do worse, not by much, but it was worse :smalleek:)

[Ganurath]

You're not a bad person for being in character and defending yourself from a deranged ex. Now, if you rolled your baby sister down the stairs for no reason whatsoever...

[Sneak]

You're not a bad person for being in character and defending yourself from a deranged ex. Now, if you rolled your baby sister down the stairs for no reason whatsoever...

...crap, I thought there was still hope for me yet. Guess not. :P

Anyway...it seems that RL me is somewhat similar to you, as in I apologize profusely if I do anything the slightest bit mean and feel bad for weeks even if the person on the receiving end doesn't really care all that much. I'm just like that. Well, in RL, anyway. :smallamused:

But yeah, I'm going to have to say she overreacted. Just try explaining yourself to her. You'll probably keep feeling bad, but there's not really anything you can do about that. Once she's over it, the trick is just for you to forget about it so that you won't keep beating yourself up.

[Cuddly]

I would be most appreciative if you would allow me to sig this, good sir or madam.

Go for it.