PDA

View Full Version : Crappy PC/NPC names - you know you're guilty!



KoDT69
2008-01-29, 12:47 PM
I suck at making names. I know you're all guilty of it too. Time to fess up! Crappy, lame, cliche... whatever!

My own character names that sucked:

Colossus Hootie - OK to be fair, every character was named after a Marvel super-hero, mostly the X-Men, so I picked the obscure (by comparison) character name. He was also a halfling, so it was like the crappy joke of naming a huge guy Tiny. And I was like 14 on my first night learning AD&D.

Guido Sarducci - Elf Bard, rapier and main gauche, at times did things that caused more damage to himself than to the enemy. Jumping 30ft down from a rooftop to dropkick a 5,000lb clay golem is not a good move for a 95lb elf with a 10 STR!

Inigo Muntuyia - Spelled different, but the cliche ripoff you expected. At least I tied in a backstory that truly justified his crazy obsession that everything killed his father... Daddy was time-shifted to a massive "all-race free-for-all war" by a Elminster or somebody all-powerful. His dad took a single point of damage from every race that existed at that time, so 10,000 years later the decendants were all kinda responsible! Far fetched, but who cares, it was funny!

OhCaptainMyCaptain OhDearLordPleaseSaveUsAllFromCaptain Ryo, or Captain Ryo for short - A retired pirate ship captain turned mercenary, lengendary for his inability to realize that he's not on his ship anymore!

Danny Bonaduce - The ancient gnome in a low magic campaign that was so old he was less than a year from death by max age limit. He dual weilded 3ft bo-staffs in such a way they were his walking sticks 99% of the time since he was decrepid with a 3 STR. He could only cast cantrips since in the campaign no real spells existed. We also rolled for starting HP, and he had 2hp :smalleek: He only made it 3 sessions :smallfrown:

Boo T. Plundarr - Same campaign as Danny. This was the "more" serious character, just had a funny name.

Kazoo Kami-Sutra - I'm not even going there! Piccolo from DBZ in AD&D basically... Yah I know, shoot me :smallbiggrin:

Dookie Daddie - A Kender ICP rague wannabe for a Ravenloft game. He was part of the freakshow in the evil circus. Not too bad though, again just a funny name and concept.


Names other people used in my games I DMed:

Tinkleberry Happydingle
Weedle - yah yah really lame, half brownie half kender Paladin on a holy mission to copulate and reproduce with one of every species :smalleek:
Cullyun Poo - (the Bronie berserker that wiped his "private area" sweat on things to mark territory
Bayer
Advil
Preparation H - I see a pattern...
Pack-Hard
Penstab
Xicor
Tychow
Jubilee
Logan
Ororo
Bishop
Rogue - Another run of X-Men :smallfrown:
Nacho Bellgrande


OK enough outta me. Share! Beat these lame names!

Frosty
2008-01-29, 01:10 PM
Names other people used in my games I DMed:

Weedle - yah yah really lame, half brownie half kender Paladin on a holy mission to copulate and reproduce with one of every species :smalleek:
!

What church was he working for? Sune? Sharess?

Tyrael
2008-01-29, 01:12 PM
Boshi. Name comes from this guy:

http://fc04.deviantart.com/fs11/i/2006/251/b/a/Boshi_by_Latte3000.png

MY Boshi turned out to be a Russian/German/EastEuropean-accented Lizardfolk with wings and a Giant. Freaking. Hammer. A typical low-INT, high-STR basher, but the accent (which I actually voiced) really made all the difference, and though we've moved on, Boshi is one of our most legendary party members in the players' memories.

KoDT69
2008-01-29, 01:13 PM
It didn't matter really, it was so silly I just never cared. He did pick one, but it was a 2nd edition one from the Greek Mythology sourcebook.

Kesnit
2008-01-29, 01:17 PM
Theodonis - Kender Rogue. (Say it out loud if you have to.) I didn't mean the name to sound like the famous strong man; I didn't realize how it sounded until I introduced myself the first time.

Barbie - NPC Succubus Bard.

Betty Crocker - BBEG Warlock/Blackguard. Got her name because her armor is glamored to look like an apron, her longsword to look like a wooden spoon, and her shield to look like a pot lid.

Tavenknaughtlin
2008-01-29, 01:18 PM
My favorite is Stavion Boulderfort III, the Lizardfolk Fighter, but since he had an Int of 6, he just called himself Stab.

And then there's Big McLargeHuge the Half-Ogre Frenzied Berzerker.

doorknobdeity
2008-01-29, 01:32 PM
Conan the Librarian

Herticles

John Campbell
2008-01-29, 01:33 PM
I'm usually pretty good about naming characters. My worst PC names from when I was a kid are made-up but plausible and pronouncable words. These days I usually use historical names from appropriate cultures.

I did, though, once play in a D&D one-off where four of the five players, without consultation, named their characters "Phil", which led to a lot of, "Wait, really? That's my name too." "Yeah, see, I have it written right here on my character sheet," when we introduced ourselves. The fifth gave her elven wizard some stupid long thing with lots of vowels in it, like "Alianaliea Silvermoon" or something like that. We just called her "Not-Phil".

Chronos
2008-01-29, 01:37 PM
I remember one session, the DM lost his carefully prepared notes, so we ended up reporting to Sgt. So-and-so, chief constable of the city of Blah-blah-blah.

serok42
2008-01-29, 01:39 PM
Halfling on a pirate ship named Pygmy Pete
And we cannot forget the ever present Bob
I made an Archivist named Caveat (I don't think I am going to play him now though, I have opted for a wizard instead)

I tend to use the same names in all of the adventures. Some times I use past PCs that I have played as well.

I also always have an old guy named Jeb McGee that uses the phrase. "If you ask me, (long pause) and most people do...

Danin
2008-01-29, 01:44 PM
The 4 int, 3 wisdom Orc Barbarian who functioned as the party rogue by smashing through locked doors and setting off traps. Incidently he was named Leslie. He actully had a vocabulary of 54 words. I'd only use them to talk and paid attention to only words I understood. This unfortunately lead to a small misunderstanding when my Paladin friend was saying "Don't smash him" while gesturing at the prince. Well, I only understood two of those words. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

warmachine
2008-01-29, 01:48 PM
Jack Bison - a fighter whose name was ripped off from a 2000AD comic character. A later character, Viktorja Bison, was his sister whose name was a misspelling of the Latvian name Viktorjia. I can't even rip off other people's culture properly.

Liam Howlett - a sorcerer with Arcane Thesis (Fireball). The name is the lead singer of the Prodigy, famous for their song titled 'Firestarter'.

David Noonan - a duskblade. Me? Copy a name off the front of the book that describes the Duskblade class? Never!

cupkeyk
2008-01-29, 01:52 PM
Tokilla Mockingbird - halfling rogue/wizard/Arcane Trickster

Mando Knight
2008-01-29, 01:57 PM
I did, though, once play in a D&D one-off where four of the five players, without consultation, named their characters "Phil", which led to a lot of, "Wait, really? That's my name too." "Yeah, see, I have it written right here on my character sheet," when we introduced ourselves. The fifth gave her elven wizard some stupid long thing with lots of vowels in it, like "Alianaliea Silvermoon" or something like that. We just called her "Not-Phil".

:thog: Thog like! It like Nale and not-Nale, but not not-Nale and not Nale...

valadil
2008-01-29, 01:59 PM
My worst offense was for an arrogant (and rightly so) frenchman in a modern GURPS game:

Jean-Pierre Colbert

The_Werebear
2008-01-29, 02:04 PM
Maxwell Edwardson- CN Dwarven NPC siege engineer, whose favored piece of equipment was a massive ballista called "The Silver Hammer." Which he would threaten to bring down on people's head.

Amiria
2008-01-29, 02:11 PM
Hmm, not so much crappy, but rather silly and/or awful names that we had in my RL group. Ok, some are also crappy.

Drow Matron Mother: Maladriel
Human Bard Twins: Felipe and Ramon de Gorgonzola

Need to know German to "appreciate" these:

Various members of the drow trading House In'kasso: Antrag, Betrag, Nachtrag, Vertrag, Vortrag.

Dwarf Fighter/Cleric: Amboss der Rabiator
Wood Elf Frenzied Berserker: Grogloch Wutimblut
Human Barbarian: Krassmus
Gnome Necromancer: Sergius Todesschuss
Gnome Artificier: Travius Sockenschuss
Orc Barbarian: Grützschnack

Some barbarian tribes: Bullguffen, Haudruffen

Swordguy
2008-01-29, 02:29 PM
I'm very proud of the fact that I create good solid, consistent names for my NPCs. Unfortunately, that means that the PCs, who never read anything I give them, simply start giving them all easily-remembered nicknames. As such, to prove a point, I ran the following scenario (stolen shamelessly from Shamus Young):



The Dark Lord Walter, wielder of the Black Sword of choppery, was oppressing the peoples of Pittsburgh. Then King George Washington elnisted the help of the Warrior Princess Rapunzel. Sadly, in the Land of Yellowstone she fell under a spell and slew the Steelers, Knights of Pittsburgh. At last the heroes freed the princess, traveled through the kingdom of Barstow, and confronted Walter in the land of Spokane.

Sure, it sounds stupid, but you have to admit: your players will be able to remember, pronounce, and even spell all of the important people and places.

He was absolutely correct. For the first time, my players referred to NPCs by their correct and crappy names, instead of "the guy in the scary armor" or "That wizard...Tim?".

*sob*

Bauglir
2008-01-29, 02:35 PM
I once had an NPC who handed out quests to the PCs early in the campaign. His name was Jenner Ick Oldmann.

I also have a Neanderthal (the very same who invented fire, and subsequently took levels in Pyrokineticist) named Hulk Smashington.

Rutee
2008-01-29, 02:39 PM
I'm very proud of the fact that I create good solid, consistent names for my NPCs. Unfortunately, that means that the PCs, who never read anything I give them, simply start giving them all easily-remembered nicknames. As such, to prove a point, I ran the following scenario (stolen shamelessly from Shamus Young):

Accompanying quote


He was absolutely correct. For the first time, my players referred to NPCs by their correct and crappy names, instead of "the guy in the scary armor" or "That wizard...Tim?".

*sob*

That's the most depressing and probably generally accurate thing I've ever heard in my life ;.;

BlackStaticWolf
2008-01-29, 03:07 PM
That's the most depressing and probably generally accurate thing I've ever heard in my life ;.;

Yes, yes it is.


I can't think of a time when I've actually come up with a lame name for a character... but then I always use naming conventions from real world societies. So whenever I need a character name, I just whip out the appropriate baby-name book and pick one.

I'm awful at naming taverns and inns though. And my players insist on knowing the name of every inn they stay at. Those bastards don't even remember the name once they left... yet they insist on me naming it just the same!


They also insist on referring to any NPCs who seem evil or sinister in anyway as the "Dark One" or something similar. They also assume that all villains have all manner of very specific abilities that I haven't even hinted at, and which said villain does not have. Everyone is a demon or a shapeshifter or something with vast supernatural power to these people... despite all direct evidence to the contrary.

My players are like... McCarthyists stuck in a high fantasy world.

Hmm... I think I've strayed off topic some.

AslanCross
2008-01-29, 05:29 PM
James, skip this post.


Tokilla Mockingbird - halfling rogue/wizard/Arcane Trickster

Having read that book while I was preparing a certain arc for my campaign, I had an NPC who had a farm on the outskirts of a backwater town. It was said that when orcs came, they killed him and stuffed his skinned corpse up his chimney. He is actually still alive undead and now hunts people. (He's a TWF ranger with favored enemy: Humans) His name? Boo O'Radilly.

Miles Invictus
2008-01-29, 05:29 PM
I recently reinstalled Deus Ex. Feeling lazy, I gave J.C. Denton the nickname "McStabbity Jones". In retrospect, "Jones" was unnecessary.

That's my one crappy name. Normally, I go nuts with the random name generators. I've actually got a page of names from various ethnicities, just so I can spontaneously come up with a decent-sounding name.

F.L.
2008-01-29, 05:30 PM
I once made a gnome NPC named Dwoemin Bartlebot. Who made constructs and such things.

Oh, and a PC gnome named Fonkin "the badger" Folkar. Sounds horrible out loud. Really, I have a problem with gnomes in general.

raygungothic
2008-01-29, 05:50 PM
II create good solid, consistent names for my NPCs. Unfortunately, that means that the PCs, who never read anything I give them, simply start giving them all easily-remembered nicknames.

Too, too true.

I think the worst offender for silly names has to be WFRP, though. Even the *official published* NPCs in the legendary The Enemy Within campaign all seemed to be named either after philosophers ("the baron... (who is a cockroach...) is called Wittgenstein?!?") or really cheesy jokes in bad (sometimes pseudo-)German including, if I remember correctly, a noblewoman who was Gravin von Schwarzwalde-Kirschtorte... I read that one out from the script without spotting it, to my shame, then wondered why my party cracked up!

shaggz076
2008-01-29, 05:54 PM
I don't know how crappy these are but I liked them

Kobold Sorc with a god complex "Beeblesnot Gutterspout"
Elf Ranger and his trusty compainion "Elf and Dog"
Jotunbrud Monk/Sorc hybrid "Mataki Maru"

And currently playing Spellscale Duskblade "Rasvim ux Bahamuti" (Translate it in Draconic)

rubakhin
2008-01-29, 06:04 PM
Once I was sitting around thinking that the Russian word for, erm, a woman of canine temperament ended with -ko, like some Japanese female names, and that the Chinese name Hui has a very interesting homophone in the Russian language. So with a little research I managed to come up with a perfectly legitimate name for a courtesan character (in more ways than one :smallamused:) that just happened to be filthy in Russian.

And that was how I found out that some of my friends speak Russian.

They let me keep her, though. :smallbiggrin:

ForzaFiori
2008-01-29, 06:13 PM
Danny Bonaduce - The ancient gnome in a low magic campaign that was so old he was less than a year from death by max age limit. He dual weilded 3ft bo-staffs in such a way they were his walking sticks 99% of the time since he was decrepid with a 3 STR. He could only cast cantrips since in the campaign no real spells existed. We also rolled for starting HP, and he had 2hp :smalleek: He only made it 3 sessions :smallfrown:


idk if its the proper name, but in my old dojo, the 3 ft. bo-staffs were called joeys. (probably spelled differently, but whatever. i'm sure that its actually like sanshakubo or something (rukushakubo (6 foot staff of hardwood) being a 6 foot bo, sanshakubo (which i'm assuming would be a 3 foot staff of hardwood) would be correct.)

edit: as for my names, i usually go to babynames.com and look up names, though many of my characters that are human are named matthew. I just like that name.

Dr Bwaa
2008-01-29, 06:25 PM
Ajheed- hexblade with a longspear, named after the Diablo II mercenary
Mumbles Keebler- gnome bard with 10 ranks in Craft(Cookie)
Seduktra- monk and party whore (now incinerated =( but good thing she was immune to disease!)
Admiral Thibeault Akbar- NPC wizard named after himself in Star Wars and the shopkeeper in 8-bit theater, and Thibeault because it belongs in neither (but he's proficient with a rapier!)
Dairy-Hands Honeytouch- CE gnome necromancer player by one of my friends. Had a killer bone blue dragon until the party paladin massacred them both in about a round.


The 3-foot staff is generally referred to as a Jo staff, though I'm sure the real name is longer, so Joeys makes some sense.

Sanzh
2008-01-29, 06:30 PM
In my D&D group, the lack of names. Our druid, rogue, and sorcerer all don't have names.

Flawless
2008-01-29, 06:41 PM
Dwarf Fighter/Cleric: Amboss der Rabiator

LOL :smallbiggrin: Amboss der Rabiator is now responsible for a lot of spilled coke on my keyboard...



Various members of the drow trading House In'kasso: Antrag, Betrag, Nachtrag, Vertrag, Vortrag.

You definitely don't want to mess with them. They seem to worship Loviatar, though.

Lord Tataraus
2008-01-29, 06:43 PM
The 4 int, 3 wisdom Orc Barbarian who functioned as the party rogue by smashing through locked doors and setting off traps. Incidently he was named Leslie. He actully had a vocabulary of 54 words. I'd only use them to talk and paid attention to only words I understood. This unfortunately lead to a small misunderstanding when my Paladin friend was saying "Don't smash him" while gesturing at the prince. Well, I only understood two of those words. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

Wow! I've got to use that!

I rarely have stupid names, or the players don't know enough to figure them out :smalltongue:
Though one name that sticks out is Bob. Bob the Benevolent Berserker. Bob had an intelligence larger than any of the PCs, was an over-sized human (large) NPC who could be summoned by a wand 3/day for 1d6+1 minutes. Bob was extremely strong and intelligent, despite being a barbarian. He also spoke and acted like a stereotypical butler (British accent and all).

The only other example is from my Thraan, City of Fear setting, almost all of the important NPCs and some organizations can be described by their names which are all in latin (though a few are slightly mangled):
Zelus (the world the city is located in) means: jealousy
The Bellicus (the oppressive and militant government) means: martial, military, or warlike
The Venef (the derogatory term for the race of "witches") means: poisonous, magical, witch, wizard, caster of spells
Nequ-parv (the official name for the Venef descended from demons) means: vile-child/spawn/offspring
Sanctus-parv (the official name of the Venef descended from nephillim) means: holy/sacred-child/spawn/offspring
Magusin (the most powerful and active revolutionary organization of predominately witches) means: magical
Jalan Ferox (the leader of the Bellicus) means: warlike and arrogant except I can't remember want Jalan is from, though that might be made up.
Nex Addo (the LG but misdirected leader of the secret police) means: giver of violent death
Mucro Ord (the personal assassin for Jalan Ferox) means: sword's point[mucrom] rank[ordo]; but is more like - highest ranking swordsman
Puttu Infio (the Sanctus-parv who leads the Magusin) means: pure[putus] - taint/stain/corrupt; its supposed to be an oxymoron.
Alline Diligo (the right hand of the Magusin, who has a cruch on Puttu) means: to value highly, to prize, to love; Alline is made up and just fit.
Lelvin Deumanus (the left hand of the Magusin) means: well, actually, lelvin is a mangaling of left and duemanus is just better sounding than manus (hand)
Cruor Cruciatus (leader of the demon-worshipping Cult of Black Blood) means: bloodshed, murder, slaughter, gore, blood-torture (guess what his interests are)
Valetudo (one of the nehpilim, focused on healing) means: health
Justicia (one of the nehpilim, focused on truth and justice) means: justice (duh)
Licentia (one of the nehpilim, focused on freedom and liberty) means: freedom, liberty
Lex (one of the nehpilim, focused on laws and honor) means: law
Peius (one of the demons, focused on disease and plague) means: ill
Ira (one of the demons, focused on vengence and killing) means: wrath
Dominatus (one of the demons, focused on control and oppresstion) means: tyranny, domination
Fraudatio (one of the demons, focused on deceit and trickery) means: fraud, deceit, trickery
I bet you sensed the pattern on the Demons/Nephilim.

I guess that's all, except for my forum name which I use everywhere for the past...5 years? :smallredface:

daggaz
2008-01-29, 07:03 PM
The Captain of the Guards approaches you, perhaps wanting to thank you for your help in fighting off the lizardfolk onslaught...

What's his name?

Oh umm...Brannigan. Yeah... No, wait, Zannigan. Yeah. Captain Zannigan.

To be fair, my players loved the repeat ogre couple, Nugg and Grumm, especially when they came back as undead and all Grumm could say was "Nuuuggg.....Nuuuuuggggg!"

osyluth
2008-01-29, 07:31 PM
A moderately good way to avoid this is the fantasy name generator.
www.rinkworks.com

hylian chozo
2008-01-29, 07:36 PM
I have a few:
Half-orc barbarian-Grog (picked it himself)
Human cleric- Turner D. Zombie
Human rogue- Justin Case

Chronos
2008-01-29, 08:05 PM
Oh, I just thought of another one: An (approximately) bard, with a mockingbird familiar. The bird's name was Remus Petronius. If that's not obvious enough, think about what it would be called for short.

KoDT69
2008-01-29, 08:10 PM
Haha, I thought of more names used by my players:

LAME:
Develin :smallsigh:
Magius - yah, he was a mage in 2e
GoldBow - an elf Arcane Archer, yah, he had gold skin, and a bow, so his parents knew he would be an Arcane Archer or something :smallconfused:
Simon Bellmont :smallsigh:
Haley Storm
Geoffrey Chaucer - the Dread Pirate... in a dungeon crawl adventure... who just HAD to get back to the ship he couldn't have afforded to own
Bi***
Bi***ella
The Sh**
Fleshbone
Old Dirty Ba*****
Bob - the Epic level Mage
Doctor Klov - no idea either???

Crappy/Funny:
Snot Slutson - A half-giant fighter in 2e... his father was a giant, his mother was a slut, but that's all he was intelligent enough to communicate
Smirnoff - A vodkyn (sp?) Ranger, called the Vodka by most of the players

Oh yah, and my first ever 3rd edition cohort's name... Chump Change! The perfect name for a cohort really... :smallbiggrin:

Raistlin1040
2008-01-29, 08:16 PM
Maxwell Edwardson- CN Dwarven NPC siege engineer, whose favored piece of equipment was a massive ballista called "The Silver Hammer." Which he would threaten to bring down on people's head.

You rock, so hard.

psychoticbarber
2008-01-29, 08:20 PM
Now, I don't do stuff like this in RPG, but I've taken to naming Link in every Zelda game I play "The Dude".

Just to get sentences like, "You must save me, oh great and powerful The Dude!"

Farmer42
2008-01-29, 08:30 PM
Had a campaign where the PCs were working in a circus. The circus used a soarwhale instead of wagons and the like. The MC was actually Olidammara, but he went by the name of Mountebank Python.

Theodoxus
2008-01-29, 08:36 PM
A few of my sillier names...

Retch Thuk, Half-orc barbarian. Constantly drunk... named after his constant state of throwing up... he retches, and then the sound it makes as it hits the cobblestones.

Toppen Middlebottom, halfling rogue with delusions of granduer.

Ux Benjaba, human monk... I just liked the way the name rolled off.

Alex the manling servant, another halfling rogue, who, with his twin brother, were manling servants to the party wizard. We got in lots of trouble.

Caladan the Paladin, human cavalier. He didn't tell people he wasn't really a paladin.

Fendarus... not that silly, actually - imo, of course. But the character was; fighter/cleric Firbolg from 2nd ed. Very very chaotic... the party hated him.


Always a fun thread :)

Theo

Toliudar
2008-01-29, 08:45 PM
My players are so much guiltier of this than I am. Some of their creations:

Polski Ogorki, human barbarian who (at least at first) spoke with a pronounced polish accent.

Lizardfolk caster-type called Gojira

Mojh (from Arcana Evolved) runecaster named H'Deen. Yes, he called himself Mojh H'Deen.

And I will absolutely support and empathize with Swordguy. The more important and high-status an NPC is supposed to be, the more likely that the players are to give them a truly stupid nickname. I've just introduced a supposedly terrifying shadowy half-dragon puppetmaster type character - someone who sometimes arranges for work for the PC's, but is also manipulating their responses. She has actually flung a PC across a large room and pinned him to the wall for speaking back to her. Her name is Kerlona, but she was immediately, nonsensically and permanently nicknamed Crispy Crackers by the players. So much for mystery and danger.

F.L.
2008-01-29, 08:52 PM
Oh, and I'm planning on using a demon named "Cletus the slack-jawed Yochol" when my players have enough levels...

I'm an atrocity.

Deepblue706
2008-01-29, 09:01 PM
As a DM, I don't think I've made many good names... but I don't think most were horrible, either.

However, my RL groups generally reduce my NPCs to annoying nicknames (no differently from Swordguy's experiences, I'm sure), so even if one is okay, it never matters.

I had a blacksmith, named Jorge. After I introduce him, one player asks "What kind of miniature would you use to represent him?" Now, I figure he's only doing this because he wants me to pull out miniatures for a battle - so I pull out a huge Warhammer Orc to screw around. The player then proceeds to say, "Looks kinda like a "Bucky Bob". That's his name from now on". To my players, "Bucky Bob" was probably the most memorable character in any of my games, despite having only been designed on-the-spot, and only served the players one session of an entire campaign.

There was an evil Wizard named Orvus Dren, whom I created to torment the party on multiple ocassions. When they finally found out his name, he was thereafter only called "Orifice Den".

I had an innkeeper, whose name was Jebediah. Before he introduces himself, the players have already unanimously agreed to refer to him as "Ted". He protested, but that only gave them more reason to continue calling him "Ted".

There was an evil Sorceress named Victoria - upon the PCs finding out her name, a player immediately asks "Victor/Victoria?"

There was this old warlord called Baron Johann von Helmut, who ransacked towns across a countryside, killing everyone who crossed his path. I used a miniature that used a small, square shield, which inspired the name "Pizza Box" - despite any attempt I made at telling the players his real name, it was ignored, as "Pizza Box" was far superior.

There was an undead lord who called himself Xanatos, whose miniature had a sword, which was 'pointier' than the rest. A player thusly dubbed him "Pointy Princeton".

There was a man named McKillian, who asked "How are you, gentlemen?", immediately prompting his nickname to become "CATS"

Ascension
2008-01-29, 09:03 PM
I don't think it's strange, but others seem to, so I might as well post it here. My method of naming characters is to find someone from history whose philosophy is close to that of the character and give the character either his name or an anagram of his name.

Case in point, my Doomguard-sympathizing rogue/scout for a Planescape campaign bears the name Velkin because William Thomson, 1st Baron Kelvin was the first to vaguely speculate about the heat death of the universe.

I've statted a backup character in case Velkin meets an unhealthy demise who's a full Doomguard member and who I've named Clausius von Helmholtz after Rudolf Clausius (who gave a name to the concept of entropy) and Hermann von Helmholtz (who helped popularize the idea of the heat death of the universe).

Deepblue706
2008-01-29, 09:06 PM
I don't think it's strange, but others seem to, so I might as well post it here. My method of naming characters is to find someone from history whose philosophy is close to that of the character and give the character either his name or an anagram of his name.

I do that once in a while. Sometimes, I'll completely change a forename, however (and not just make an anagram). Other times, I borrow directly from Shakespeare or classical novels, etc., but they're usually obscure in the stories they're normally found in.

Chronicled
2008-01-29, 09:42 PM
I'm awful at naming taverns and inns though. And my players insist on knowing the name of every inn they stay at. Those bastards don't even remember the name once they left... yet they insist on me naming it just the same!

You might find this link (http://www.paper-dragon.com/fantasyland/tavernnamegen.html) helpful, then.

Yami
2008-01-29, 10:05 PM
I'm awful at naming taverns and inns though. And my players insist on knowing the name of every inn they stay at. Those bastards don't even remember the name once they left... yet they insist on me naming it just the same!

Could be worst. your players could then ask the barkeep for some backstory about the name. Every single time.

Too many sessions of this prompted one inn named 'The Quick Tomato' from one DM.

I'm usually guilty of renaming other PC's if anything.

'Ego boy' for the party mage, etc...

Lord Tataraus
2008-01-29, 10:09 PM
I'm usually guilty of renaming other PC's if anything.

'Ego boy' for the party mage, etc...

Hey if they can make up names for your characters why can't you make up names for theirs?

Skjaldbakka
2008-01-29, 10:17 PM
I also suck at names, so I recycle the names I like from NPCs from one game to the next. My campaigns have been compared to Clamp in this regard.

My worst name was Ena-Pae-Sae (NPC, with the spanish pronunciation of the letters npc). It became a running joke for the campaign, so it turned out all right.

nooblade
2008-01-29, 10:25 PM
I want to make a rogue or bard (or both?) named John Locke.

You know, the philosophical guy who theorized putting work into a previously unowned parcel of land caused it to become yours (among other ideals).

It would be very classy. And also funny because I'm really not good at philosophy. Only a few parts are important anyways.

Fhaolan
2008-01-29, 10:53 PM
I'll just list the names from one of my current campaigns. The list would get too long if I went back into history...


C'nan & F'dar: Elven teenie-bopper-equivalent brothers who are currently following one of the PCs around.

Dude the Unlucky: Dwarf NPC who somehow managed to survive despite himself.

Grokk: Orc ranger. Named as he's one of the two intelligent orcs the party has run into. The other being his sister, Sally.

Mary-Ann: Male Dwarf alchemist. So named because he's best friends with the Professor. The Professor has no name, as far as anyone's been able to figure out.

Ram & Noodles: Tavern.

I think I'm going to stop there.... :smallsmile:

Superglucose
2008-01-30, 12:56 AM
Once upon a time the party had two elves, one Aldaris and one Glorfindel.

Curmudgeon
2008-01-30, 03:40 AM
I plead guilty.

Fortina (Sorcerer 14)
Zehn (Sorcerer 10, Fortina's mate) (Zehn is German for "ten")
Olven (an Elf) and his mate Drizzy (Elf is German for "eleven"; Dreizehn is German for "thirteen")

But then, lack of imagination runs in my family. My given name ends with the numeral "III".

Skjaldbakka
2008-01-30, 06:03 AM
Once upon a time the party had two elves, one Aldaris and one Glorfindel

Wait, Glorfindel got to join an adventuring party? Instead of being replaced by a useless NPC halfling?

Shademan
2008-01-30, 06:24 AM
i have a confession to make!

usually i am very good at names (but only on my own characters, not others'es) but my most recent character " Kabrakhan" the lizardfolk fighter, have a .... special history behind his name.

Cobra-khan. one of the evil snake-men from he-man.
see the similarity? yeah!

Xuincherguixe
2008-01-30, 06:59 AM
Runs with Traffic. Dog Shaman from Shadowrun.

Though honestly, he was supposed to be a comic relief character.

Saph
2008-01-30, 07:04 AM
I'm very proud of the fact that I create good solid, consistent names for my NPCs. Unfortunately, that means that the PCs, who never read anything I give them, simply start giving them all easily-remembered nicknames.

I actually, by accident, found a way to solve this problem when DMing my last campaign. It was based off Phantasy Star 4, and in Phantasy Star, all party members and NPCs have names of no more than four letters.

So the NPCs had names like Wren, Rika, Raja, and Demi, while the bad guys were named things like Juza and Zio.

Turns out players can remember names after all if you make them no more than four letters and no more than two syllables. :)

- Saph

Xuincherguixe
2008-01-30, 07:16 AM
I'd be too tempted to make names without any vowels.

Jkghf
or
Yjl

Archonic Energy
2008-01-30, 07:18 AM
Now, I don't do stuff like this in RPG, but I've taken to naming Link in every Zelda game I play "The Dude".

Just to get sentences like, "You must save me, oh great and powerful The Dude!"

really i always call Link as obcenity... it's funner when the uncle dies and you get the "Oh ****, i'm Dying...." speech. :smalltongue:

played link to the past too many times!

nephtis
2008-01-30, 07:31 AM
I guess it's funnier in German but I named my Minotaur barbarian Kyros.

Chose the name for Kyros II. the Persian king, but never realized that it sounded too close to
a) Gyros (funny but appropriate for frontline fighter, since it's sliced meat)
b) Kühe (in German the 'Küh' is pronounced like 'Ky' in Kyros and 'Kühe' means cattle).

On the upside, everybody remebered his name but I had to play him really stoic when the IC jokes started.

Kami2awa
2008-01-30, 07:31 AM
I once had an NPC who handed out quests to the PCs early in the campaign. His name was Jenner Ick Oldmann.

I also have a Neanderthal (the very same who invented fire, and subsequently took levels in Pyrokineticist) named Hulk Smashington.

Aside from the name, that is a COOL character concept.

Foolosophy
2008-01-30, 07:32 AM
I am guilty of

Nicholas Djinto de Rye a.k.a Djinto-Nic a.k.a Gin Tonic (Dry)

and

Gonorro a spiked chain-wielding trip attack build. The name is only awful if you know that the german slang word for Gonorrhea is "Tripper"

Swooper
2008-01-30, 11:52 AM
I once named an elven sorceress Kirinalda. This will not sound so odd to you, and I was thinking in english when I made it, but in my language (Icelandic) it means Alda the Cow, Alda being a common girl's name. >_<

My group still brings it up in conversation, just to laugh at me.

Arraxis
2008-01-30, 08:50 PM
My brother once tried to name his female rogue 'Hottathanu'. I managed to get him to change the name to 'Sidra', but then I found out later that that was the name of one of Jerry's dates in Seinfeld - the one who he thought had implants.

Orzel
2008-01-30, 09:02 PM
Nacho Woman Sandy Ravage- human fighter

El Pollo Grande- orc barbarian

Mario Mario Marior- halfling rouge/new yorker

Shinku Hadoken - elf wizard

Frosty
2008-01-30, 09:06 PM
Shinku Hadoken - elf wizard

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this...

A.Sondergaard
2008-01-30, 10:10 PM
Bob the Solar. I honestly didn't expect the group to stop and make small talk with the gaurdian of the Orb of Annihilation.

Jacob Orlove
2008-01-30, 10:34 PM
We were short a player, so the DM gave us an NPC cleric to run with the party since everyone had a character in mind already (more of a group-controlled PC than an NPC, really). He was a dwarf, so in the spirit of truly awful puns, we named him "Doc".

Zeal
2008-01-30, 10:54 PM
My PC names are not usually that bad, with one notable exception:

Con Ore the Barbarian

As A DM, I've come up with terrible names on the fly:

Oogaloog-
The reoccurring bearded devil, which also spawned my habit of giving outsiders atrociously long names

Krovitcahquaterloch-
Quasit possessing the group's fighter, see above

This is completely ignoring the session in which I gave two NPCs the last names of two of my players, and only realized it at the end of the session.

My players? They make me look like a saint by comparison.

We have the player’s favourite PC turned NPC:
Big Bad Smashface, known to the players as Big

Rasputin...well...there is more but it gets very obscene after this point, so I'll leave it at Rasputin

The three or so wizards called Pharun

Not technically a character's name, but the party Rogue once successfully bluffed saying "I am the mighty Archmage: Jerry Seinfeld!".

The same player later brought in a Psion named Cosmo Kramer...yeah

The list goes on

de-trick
2008-01-30, 11:20 PM
here I go

mine

Hulk stonehammer(dwarfen fighter)
Von Harison Lion heart (half vampire ranger/rogue)
Sir Pwns of noobs(paladin)
Chuck Norris (monk)

other people in group
-yoda christ(gome chaos mage)
-Niles (werewolf)
-Rodney stone(elf duskblade)
-Anikigon Kinobie(fighter)
- H-man(barbarian)
-fudge spoon (halfling rogue)
-Fudge pack (son of Fudge spoon)

NPC

Tic-keal-Mie-Ell-Moe---> Tickle me elmo(pixie paladin)
sweany Todd

Souju
2008-01-30, 11:22 PM
I honestly had no idea Souju, in addition to being a name in Japanese, also happened to be a korean beverage

Serpentine
2008-01-30, 11:30 PM
I had a half-orc rogue/catlord called Shea. If you get it, I'll give you a biscuit.

One of our occasional players is pretty awful at these. There was...

Noeholls the bard (geddit?)
Sif L. Us (and his monitor lizard, Nancy).
and... I'm sure there was one more, but I can't remember. One of his characters accidently ended up with George, though.

Irenaeus
2008-01-31, 01:15 AM
I'm very proud of the fact that I create good solid, consistent names for my NPCs.Same here. I tend to strictly define the naming patterns of the nations in my campaigns and prepare handouts containing common first names and such for my players. Luckily they cooperate completely and take good notes. Having a group consisting entirely of GMs who each have their separate campaigns running is for me a recipe for good players.

When I was younger and we played the old Ravenloft module, two of the PCs was named Harvey Wallbanger, and Saruman the Barbarian.

In the Adventures in Arkham County adventure Bless the Beast and Children a farmer is named Michael Kelso. This predates That 70s Show by quite a few years, so it is OK, I suppose.

serok42
2008-01-31, 07:16 AM
Had a female rogue NPC named Miss Information.
:smallbiggrin:

SoD
2008-01-31, 01:08 PM
This is completely ignoring the session in which I gave two NPCs the last names of two of my players, and only realized it at the end of the session.

One of my players accidentally gave his character my last name without realising it. I had a half-orc who's less inteiligent than the Sorcerers hawk named after me! This is the half-orc who corrected the sorcerer...who was trying to bluff the dragon. ''We're not here to kill you!''
''Yes we are!'' he reminds him.

Or upon meeting a hobgoblin mage...

Mage: colour spray!
Rogue and Bard: unconcious.
Paladin: attack!
Sorcerer: magic missle!
Cleric: ''We don't want a fight!''

Nu
2008-01-31, 03:11 PM
When I was creating my first DnD character (a ranger), I decided to just put down "Generic Ranger" for the name and fill out the rest of the stats on the sheet first, then go back and think of a name later...well, I never really did get around to thinking up a good name, so his name ended up as "Gene Eriks."

Probably should've gone with Eric Eugene or something like that instead, but he's still around today so I'm sticking with the name.


I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this...

I'm laughing.

sonofzeal
2008-01-31, 04:39 PM
Tankli the Dwarven Defender (still one of my favorite characters)

Stabby McStabstab the Warblade (later renamed to Shaan Gaurav)

Mauggler the Maug monk (later renamed to Calder, after the Maug Islands)

Lupy
2008-01-31, 06:15 PM
I GM a SWRPG group... And there have been some bad npc names on my part.

Recurring Ally and Rebel Officer- Lieutenant (he had a last name but the players never used it, I didn't intend for him to become a major person, so I never wrote it down.)

CHaracter Alterego- Banjo (Originally Bill-Joe [a rural village setting], the Player [Oots fan] started calling him Banjo.)

Jerthanis
2008-01-31, 08:27 PM
A friend of mine once played a character named "Leo Legolas Aragorn III" He professed that he was just bad at coming up with names, but Leo would've been a perfectly sufficient name if he had just stopped there...

Myself, I tend to use fairly mundane names... Kendrick, Roger, Marielle... usually straight off behindthename.com, so I don't get much silliness. However, my screen name (Jerthanis) actually comes from a game I played where I went into the game naming my character Jeremy, which was the name of one of the other players. While I thought it would be silly and fun, it ended up being a huge headache for everyone, so I said that Jeremy was just his nickname, and his full name was Jerthanis. From that moment forward, not a soul referred to him as anything but Jerthanis and that character, and that name became some of my favorite of my D&D experience.

Once I named an Elf character Shannon, with the explanation that her full elven name was so complicated that most humans couldn't pronounce it. I of course never gave any indication as to what her actual Elven name was at any point, even out of character.

F.L.
2008-01-31, 08:51 PM
I GM a SWRPG group... And there have been some bad npc names on my part.

Recurring Ally and Rebel Officer- Lieutenant (he had a last name but the players never used it, I didn't intend for him to become a major person, so I never wrote it down.)

CHaracter Alterego- Banjo (Originally Bill-Joe [a rural village setting], the Player [Oots fan] started calling him Banjo.)

Well, since Elan Sleazebaggano is a legit SW name, I think Banjo's perfectly fine.

Caracol
2008-01-31, 09:21 PM
My DM had some real problems with NPC names- he basically didn't prepare them in advance, and so when we asked the NPC their names they ended up mumbling some nonsensical gibberish like "..Abresne.."
"Abresne" become such an hit for us that we called every single NPC or place with that name.

Also, one of the players had a half-demon bard that was named ANGELUS!!!

Orzel
2008-02-01, 12:47 AM
I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this...

It's you thought Shinku Hadoken was bad, I should tell you that he was killed by Flash Kick and Sonic Boom.

His brothers, Messatsu Gou and Denjin were not pleased.

EDIT:

OH OH OH
I forgot. My current wolf companion name is Buster.
After every battle guess what I say! (for 1 cookie)

Toric
2008-02-01, 02:46 AM
As a player, every dwarf I've ever made has the last name Hefthammer. Not too original, but I liked it enough to stick with it for years. Doesn't matter what campaign setting they're in, what weapon they use, or if the clan was ever known for hammer prowess. They're even a sub-clan of House Kundarak in Eberron.

Then there's Greb Dioz, the mindflayer disguised as a quack human doctor in a world with plenty of clerics.

ronnyfire
2008-02-01, 02:48 AM
Hemo Felia: my low constitution wizard.

Icewalker
2008-02-01, 02:55 AM
We've generally had pretty good names, in my group and the NPCs in the world I DM, I think.

They are all anagrams:

Tevel Benon, Wrovn Zaestes, Lucius Jasear, Venward, Gebin Ginn, Aernac. All names of assorted characters in my campaign world, and i think they are pretty good.

Oh, one in several games I played: Dirben. And also, in one game, Risch Acamit.

Then, some places: Aptalic (city), Tewar Falls, Thoremnald (city), Serdet (city), Mount Nai (Highest mountain), Atrailaus (continent), Tanonumi (mountain range), Tezca (island), Mulss (city).

Kilroy
2008-02-01, 03:57 AM
Guilty on multiple occasions.
Tank-tank Tankasaurus of Tankon Tanken Tankala.
Who spent his whole first round of every combant trying to recruit the bad guys into his marauding band. I actually get busted on for him in two campaigns I don't even play in. He was fun though.

A'sin the wizard with his familiar 'Sas who only spoke death threats.

And recently at a sit in with a group of casters. Summon PC 4. Fighter in 1 full round :smallsmile:

Fascisticide
2008-02-01, 01:43 PM
James Winsten Smith senior
He doesn't have any children

Dr Bwaa
2008-02-01, 06:23 PM
About two hours ago I just named a Dwarven NPC barmaid "Madam Umlaut." That hurt somewhere deep inside, but I'll never be able to take it back...

Jack Zander
2008-02-03, 03:49 AM
Swashbuckler: Perry Fenserson.

Mage: Art Cane Wizarton.

Female Divine caster: Clair Ich.

Male Divine Caster: Drew Id.

Female Viking: Barb Adrian.

The player you don't like: Richard Head.

Serpentine
2008-02-03, 08:09 AM
Oooo, I nearly forgot. The Big Tough Wizardguy What Gave Out The Quest I named "Lord Sutchensuch". He owns the Sutchensuch Magic Shop line.

I also named a cabin boy on a ship Timmy. Then the rogue decided to call him Jimmy, instead, and proceeded to make allusions to jimmy-bars... :smallsigh:

Dr Bwaa
2008-02-03, 05:01 PM
I have a general store that exists in most cities named "Vinnys." Every storekeeper looks identical, like a tall Italian balding man. Each of them is named Vinny (the ' is omitted from the store name for a reason)

Dr Bwaa
2008-02-04, 02:35 AM
And just tonight, I committed some more travesties!

Brodo: a lost little Halfling, gone off on an epic quest
Berry and Bippin: a couple more halflings (damn them for visiting the halfling village and asking for names!)
Bill Bitfoot: mayor of this little Halfling village

A masked man all in black who, when questioned by the party about his identity and his mask, replied: "I am no one to be trifled with" and "I was burned by acid," respectively.

Tiak
2008-02-04, 10:54 AM
i once had an npc airship captain named captain Jack Solo, his ship was the black falcon. i wasn't being uncreative it was more of a homage. though a lazy one at best. it was still better than sir gordo the paladin.

Karaswanton
2008-02-04, 10:21 PM
Theodonis - Kender Rogue. (Say it out loud if you have to.) I didn't mean the name to sound like the famous strong man; I didn't realize how it sounded until I introduced myself the first time.

Barbie - NPC Succubus Bard.

Betty Crocker - BBEG Warlock/Blackguard. Got her name because her armor is glamored to look like an apron, her longsword to look like a wooden spoon, and her shield to look like a pot lid.

The Betty Crocker thing is hilarious.
I also had a Betty Crocker NPC. She was a goatfolk barbarian.
Her husband was a minotaur cleric of Kord.

Betty was a good enough cook that she made a "Casserole of Experience" because everyone in the party was just shy of leveling.

Raolin_Fenix
2008-02-04, 10:47 PM
I was DMing (big mistake) for a first-timer party, my first time DMing also. The Paladin started asking a bunch of questions, which is great, because nobody else did, and I hadn't really intended a hack-and-slash campaign. But he started asking questions in directions I hadn't anticipated.

Paladin: "So, who are you?"
NPC: "I'm, uh, Joral, the bartender." (Okay, that one didn't suck too bad....)
Paladin: "Cool, cool. You know your way around town?"
NPC: "As well as anyone else, I guess, I've been here for a few years."
Paladin: "Can you show me the way to the weapon shop?"
NPC: "Sure, it's down that street, turn left at the temple, go down two blocks, on your left, can't miss it."
Paladin: "I'll never remember that. Can you draw a map?"
NPC: (DM rolls dice... fumble) "Uh, sorry. I tried, but... well, look."
Paladin: "Which way is north?"
NPC: "I really can't tell."
Paladin: "I see. Is there a mapmaker around anywhere?"
NPC: "Sure, why not. Right down the street."
Paladin: "What's his name?"
NPC: "... Hhh..aaall...i...mmmmm...uuuuuuusss.... ... Thhhhhhaaaaaaaaaggggg. Hallimus Thag."

Yeah, never lived that one down. To this day, it remains the inevitable response to a pointless line of questioning.

skywalker
2008-02-04, 11:56 PM
The first time I read this on the front page, I thought it said: "You know you're quilty." I thought, "damn, that is a crappy character name."

My first RPG character ever was a Call of Cthulhu investigator using my real name. That was a a grim game of Cthulhu. My first ever D&D character was named "Rael." Which wasn't so bad at the time, but I later learned a guy named Rael started a cult in France in the 70s, and he claimed to be abducted by aliens.

A quick search of my computer reveals I have these characters currently stored:
"Garyx Gygan." - Bears a certain resemblance to a famous RPG designer, I'd say.
"Trogdor" - My DM named this Barbarian when I couldn't come up with a name fast enough.
"Troy Tulowitzki" - It was the playoffs and I'm a Rockies fan. Luckily, none of that group knew baseball.
"Hiro Protagonist" - Shameless cop from Snow Crash, although he was just a stock anime/wuxia hero - swordsage.

Other crappy names I've run across:
"Reich the Third" - Excuse me? This character was a neo-nazi streetfighter.
"Hooter" - The dwarven ranger's owl animal companion. He introduced hooter to everyone he met. "Hi, this is hooter..."
"Yani Goldblatt, but you can call me Razr" - From the CofC game mentioned above. It was his first RPG too.
"Steve Blank(I'm too lazy to think of a last name)" - Also from CofC, also a first timer.
"Pony" - The knight had INT 6, this was his heavy warhorse's name.
"Moo-Moo" - The "cow camouflaged" minotaur.

My personal favorite: "Captain Callmejohn" - Reich asked for the pilot's name, and the GM responded with "I'm captain... Call me John." My character, who was quite the ******* funnyman(kinda like me) responded with "Okay, Captain Callmejohn." Since then, all captains have been some variation of this, such as "Capitan MellamoJuan," or "Capitan JemeappelleJean," etc. etc.

DementedFellow
2008-02-05, 01:28 AM
Well, I think this name walks the line between crappy and awesome. It was a dwarven fighter whose name was Auch! Indignation!, spookily enough, he could only say, "AUCH! Indignation!" He is by far my most memorable character if for nothing more than trying to convince other party members to do something by screaming "AUCH! AUCH! AUCH!"

The character I'm currently playing now is a human bard named Englebert Humperdink.

In Call of Cthulhu, my first character was a stage magician called "The Great Zambini".

And speaking along of naming other characters, currently Englebert has taken a liking to giving all the party members pet names. We have:
Dalien = Daily, sometimes Doily
Kita = Kitty (catfolk)
Heliphondras = Hell-if-I-know

Oh yeah, we also played a 0-level character campaign - we all met because our respective masters had been killed. Without missing a beat I said, "My master's name is Roshi." The DM allowed it.

Shademan
2008-02-05, 01:48 AM
behold! the extremely evil and wicked deity: Slappür Pîkkür!

worst name ever! because it means...well.... its bad.

Roderick_BR
2008-02-05, 06:24 AM
And just tonight, I committed some more travesties!

Brodo: a lost little Halfling, gone off on an epic quest
Berry and Bippin: a couple more halflings (damn them for visiting the halfling village and asking for names!)
Bill Bitfoot: mayor of this little Halfling village

A masked man all in black who, when questioned by the party about his identity and his mask, replied: "I am no one to be trifled with" and "I was burned by acid," respectively.
That's why you should keep a big list of names. Even if you need to stop to pick a name from the list, the players will think you are checking a character sheet or something. If they think that only npcs with names are important, this'll throw them off track.

I don't recall having any character with lame names, only ordinary names, but I have some friends that did, like Drakkar, the viking (named after the drakkar ship in the 2nd edition Player's) and Punhetus Dimales, the druid (an horrible pun in Portuguese explaining why he had a low strength score, you don't want to know why, believe me, for the Brazillians out there, they already got it :smalltongue: )

dungeon_munky
2008-02-05, 11:49 AM
The only actually terrible name I had was my swashbuckling duelist Yerol Flin. Fortunately nobdy in my group was aware of the existance of Errol Flynn.

At sme point during character creation we were talking about past campaigns, and the DM said he had to "ad lib that in" with regards to something I dont remember. Anyway, it gave my friend the BRILLIANT idea to name his character "Atleb Thadin." Which annoyed the DM to no end.

Eorran
2008-02-05, 12:53 PM
Some of my favorites:
Seamus O'Rarrigan, the leprechaun bard who believed he was really a dragon.

Eustace Edmonds Clarence Scrubb - this belonged to a PC with a habit of naming all his characters after well-known fantasy people, and trying to be "too cool" for just about anything. When he was away from the table, another player borrowed his character sheet, and renamed him. This name's still on the sheet.

"Frabjous Al" - his full name was ridiculously long (dragon). After spending a few months trapped in a zoo, his naturally happy temperament disappeared, and we renamed him "Frumious Al"

Quincunx
2008-02-06, 09:52 AM
Crappy nicknames:

Poor Ptiboudchou has been called, on occasion, Pikachu or Ptbbbt, but most people refer to him as Bob.

ShinyRocks
2008-02-06, 10:36 AM
The only time I table-topped I had an elf called Trymon Mooncrown, which sucks if only because it's so damn clichéd.

In the PC D&D games I've taken to naming them after TV/film characters. I had a female human sorcerer with an eyepatch called Elle Driver.

I once, when bored, tried to make a party in Icewind Dale II sound like they were pornstars. There was Rock Harrd and 'Razor' Sharpe but I can't remember the rest.

SoD
2008-02-06, 11:12 AM
An idea that came earlier today: someday I must play a CE guy called Maxwell Edison. And he will weild a silver hammer.

The_Werebear
2008-02-06, 11:14 AM
An idea that came earlier today: someday I must play a CE guy called Maxwell Edison. And he will weild a silver hammer.


Maxwell Edwardson- CN Dwarven NPC siege engineer, whose favored piece of equipment was a massive ballista called "The Silver Hammer." Which he would threaten to bring down on people's head.

Why stop at hammers? Go for siege equipment.

SoD
2008-02-06, 11:37 AM
Nah wouldn't work. You know the song by the beatles?

F.L.
2008-02-06, 11:38 AM
An idea that came earlier today: someday I must play a CE guy called Maxwell Edison. And he will weild a silver hammer.

I'd think a Maxwell Edison would be a character focused on curled lightning bolts. Del cross B = -mu0J + mu0eps0dE/dt

Aquillion
2008-02-06, 11:52 AM
When the PCs tried to convince a local cleric to give them healing for free by appealing to his piety, I told them that he was member of the Order of the Bloodsucking Serpent, who worship a deity whose primary scripture focuses on the virtues of price-gouging.

Hey, it makes sense. How else do you explain deities who grant spells so people can go out and make money by selling them as services on the open market?

The_Werebear
2008-02-06, 12:21 PM
Nah wouldn't work. You know the song by the beatles?

Yes, but I prefer my version of him. And he is still using a silver hammer.

SpikeFightwicky
2008-02-06, 12:36 PM
Here's a few of my foibles (keep in mind that this is all a while back in 2nd ed. times, the DM randomly rolled to see which character he'd start with, then integrate the others accordingly - 70% of the time it was me that started):

- Heroes Unlimited (Paladium) game: DM randomly rolls for my Bionic character to begin. Having everything but a name, I was suddenly out of time. So I hastily wrote down: Ima Bionic. The DM started the game saying: 'Alright, Ima Bionic'. To which I replied 'You too?'.

- Different Heroes Unlimited game: Rolled up a character who had the mutant ability of 'Elemental Control: Earth'. I named him 'John Rockhard' thinking it was a gimicky but cool name. After hearing the snickering when I was introduced, I realized that coming up with a legit name before the game started blinded me to the fact that my character might as well have been a porn star.

- D&D Game: Made a gnome inventor, but again, had trouble with the name and was the first to be introced. Having recently watched some old shows on late night YTV, I hastily wrote down The'Man Fromuncle. It sounded legitimate until I told him how to pronounce it :smallbiggrin:

- This one's not entirely my fault: Back when 'The Pirates of Dark Water' was playing, I decided to lift the name 'Ren' as a viable D&D character name. Unfortunately, 'Ren and Stimpy' soon came and usurped my name. So my name went from 'stolen but obscure and cool' to 'campy and cartoony'. It didn't help that only one other person from my D&D group watched 'Dark Water'.

That's not to mention my recent games, which involved one guy making a character called: Steve the Elf Monk. When Steve died, he rerolled a new character -> John the Elf Monk -> When John died, and I kid you not, he rerolled a new character -> Paul the Elf Monk (all this happened in the same session). A part of me died that day.

Elanorea
2008-02-06, 12:42 PM
My PC names tend to be quite normal, but as for my NPC names... the one time I GM'd, the only "named" NPCs were Queen M and Baron Whatever. I was planning to give them real names, but the game only lasted a couple of sessions.