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View Full Version : Finally, a reason to watch Hockey!



Voyager_I
2008-02-01, 02:03 AM
I'll assume that, like most non-Canadians, the vast majority of you don't even know what channel to watch Hockey on. However, if you ever have a foreign exchange student from the north of the Plaid Border, you might want to take notice of what they're watching, and maybe sit down with a notepad.

Why, you're probably wondering, would I ask normal people to take notes on Hockey? Very, very, simple, my good playgrounders. While I'll congratulate you if you can figure what's happening and why they keep fighting so much, your real attention should be focused on the Announcer. You see, it's become apparent that many people couldn't think of a decent name if a mugger held their family at gunpoint and demanded a fake passport. Ice Hockey offers a solution to this: most of the players aren't American, and their names tend to have that delicious foreign flavor we're always trying to get. On the other hand, these are also names that people had to carry for their entire lives, so they actually sound like something you could imagine a parent calling their child. Next time you're suffering from writer's block at the start of a character sheet, don't go googleing name lists. Just take a quick peek at www.nhl.com

There are hundreds of players out there, and you can be pretty sure that nobody in your group will have heard of any of them. Still, just to be safe, you might want to avoid the really famous ones, because their names have managed to leak through enough cracks in the shell of obscurity otherwise enclosing Ice Hockey. If King Gretzky asks your players to travel to the Dungeon of Lemieux to retrieve the Cup of Stanley, you're probably in for a well-deserved ribbing.

...a few highlights from my favorite team (and a cookie to anyone who can figure it out)

Henrik Lundqvist
Stephen Valiquette
Micheal Rozsival
Marcel Hossa
Colton Orr
Nigel Dawes
Blaire Betts (Yes, they're all guys)
Fedor Tyutin
Ryan Hollweg
Brandon Dubinsky
Petr Prucha

...the list goes on and on, and that's only from one team. They're all male, but you could probably slip a Blaire Betts or a Marian Hossa past your players without any questions being asked.

Also, watch Hockey!

The_Werebear
2008-02-01, 02:09 AM
That's really, really clever... I am going to have to do that sometime.

Talic
2008-02-01, 02:11 AM
So... you like the Rangers, then? That's an unusual team to be on the bandwagon for. I'm more of a Buffalo fan, myself.

horseboy
2008-02-01, 02:13 AM
Huh, and here I was thinking it might have something to do with the Elemental Hockey League (http://www.sarna.net/files/media/images/maps/hex/custom/elemental_hockey_league.jpg)

Voyager_I
2008-02-01, 02:16 AM
So... you like the Rangers, then? That's an unusual team to be on the bandwagon for. I'm more of a Buffalo fan, myself.

It does get depressing sometimes, yes. I generally just try not to think about that period between Richter and Lundqvist.

Swordguy
2008-02-01, 02:33 AM
Ouch, a Blueshirts fan? My sympathies, sir.

Hockey names ARE awesome, though. I don't dare use them, though, since more than half of my group plays ice hockey. It wouldn't end well. Still...

Barnaby Joe
Jaroslav Hlinka
Wojtek Wolski
Marek Svatos
Karlis Skrastins
Peter Budaj
Milan Hejduk

Jiri Novotny
Nikolai Zherdev
Rostislav Klesla
Ole-Kristian Tollefsen
Pascal Leclaire

How can you go wrong with names like those? And again, showing my two team loyalties here.

And, of course...Håkan Loob. A better name you will never find.

Talic
2008-02-01, 02:39 AM
It does get depressing sometimes, yes. I generally just try not to think about that period between Richter and Lundqvist.

Yeah... Weren't they the highest paid team in hockey at one point? What did they ever do with that?

By the by, I believe I have won a cookie. I'd hate for this to be another Office Space stapler moment, so where should I go to collect this cookie?

Oh, and don't say hell. I've had their cookies, they're not that hot.

Swordguy
2008-02-01, 02:45 AM
Yeah... Weren't they the highest paid team in hockey at one point? What did they ever do with that?


Much in the same manner as Toronto, they frittered away everything by purchasing increasingly higher-priced free agents. IIRC they've still got one of the higher payrolls in hockey, but most of their really expensive busts have retired.

feefait
2008-02-01, 08:57 AM
hehe good catch. that's been my secret for naming NPC's for years. I've had almost everyone form the Blues (favortite team) and the Sabres (local team) and a few in between. Baseball, and even basketball works now to. One of my groups was working for Esteban Loaiza for a long time.

Stabby
2008-02-01, 09:12 AM
I'd like to point out that a) I knew a few of those names, and b) Im a Blue Jackets fan. We've NEVER been good. But we got a shot this year at the play offs. We are only 2 games out of the play-offs... but we'll choke. Its sad.

Seriously, I use old time silver screen actors for my char names:

Erroll Flyn
Rock Hudson
Cary Grant
Ingrid Bergman
Rita Hayworth

It drives the other players crazy, they know they've heard the name before, just not where.

Joran
2008-02-01, 09:24 AM
Last night, I watched Alexander Ovechkin score 4 goals with a broken nose. I think I'm converted.

I generally stick to rather blah names, but I always thought "Zdeno Chara" would be a cool name to use.

Narthon the Bold
2008-02-01, 10:03 AM
Since most of my group has tickets to go see:
Marc-Andre Fleury
Ty Conklin
Darryl Sydor
Alain Nasreddine
Brooks Orpik
Sergei Gonchar
Kris Letang
Petr Sykora
Colby Armstrong
Maxime Talbot
Georges Laraque
Jarkko Ruutu and
Evgeni Malkin

at least once a month, there is very little chance I could get away with this idea. Awsome idea though. Maybe I should look at the Tour de France entry list for names.

Talya
2008-02-01, 12:28 PM
Go Habs!

Hmm. Actually, my favored team (Les Canadiens du Montréal) is suspect as far as names go, too.

Saku Koivu (my hero!)
Alexei Kovalev
Tomas Plekanec
Sergei & Andrei Kostytsyn
Roman Hamrlik
Andrei Markov
Mike Komisarek
Maxim Lapierre
Guillaume Latendresse
Jaroslav Halak

skeeter_dan
2008-02-01, 01:17 PM
My favorite team would work if hockey wasn't huge in BC:

Markus Naslund
Roberto Luongo
Daniel Sedin
Henrik Sedin
Mattias Ohlund
Lukas Krajicek
Sami Salo
Alexander Edler
Kevin Bieksa
Luc Bourdon

If I wanted to dig further, there are some great names amongst their prospects:

Jozef Balej
Mario Bliznak
Artem Chubarov
Evgeny Gladskikh
Francois-Pierre Guenette
Jannik Hansen
Ilja Kablukov
Rick Rypien
Juraj Simek
Denis Grot
Shaun Heshka
Lukas Mensator

Cybren
2008-02-01, 09:31 PM
pretend +rep for ranger fan