Big Bird versus Kermit

[Kaelaroth]

Big Bird, from Sesame Street, and Kermit, from the Muppets, are standing on a 600-foot square area. It is primarily grassy, but there is a small pond to one side, a bunch of large trees to the west, and the south has some more hilly areas. Both competitors want to kill the other (so no "kermit wanders off"). In this situation, who would win?

[AslanCross]

Kermit. He has the ability to turn into Kermithulhu.

[tyckspoon]

:smalleek: :smallfrown: WTH? Seriously.


(Big Bird in an overwhelming victory. He's a fifteen* foot tall bird. Kermit is a frog. Now I'm going to go over here and keep boggling at this thread.)

[bosssmiley]

We settled this one months ago in the (IIRC) Koa-Tou bard thread.

Kermit's a swashbuckler who can provably kick the asses of guys three times his size (see "Muppets Treasure Island"). He could either stab BB or, if he was feeling especially sneaky, stun the dozy avian freak into rumination with one of his anvilicious 'Sesame Street' Aesops about friendship and sharing. Then, just as Big Bird learns the lesson of the day, *WHAM!* upside his big yellow beak with Rainbow Connection (Kermit's reinforced combat banjo). The frog stands victorious!

Moral of the story: do not mess with Kermit. The mighty green one is like JFK crossed with George Patton and Gandhi! Even Barack Obama wears Kermit pyjamas. He is all that America is and should be. Kermit for President in '08.

[Moff Chumley]

^ Sigged, but I disagree. Big Bird for the win.

[Ominous]

Kermit's a swashbuckler who can provably kick the asses of guys three times his size (see "Muppets Treasure Island"). He could either stab BB or, if he was feeling especially sneaky, stun the dozy avian freak into rumination with one of his anvilicious 'Sesame Street' Aesops about friendship and sharing. Then, just as Big Bird learns the lesson of the day, *WHAM!* upside his big yellow beak with Rainbow Connection (Kermit's reinforced combat banjo). The frog stands victorious!

Indeed. wWhen I saw the fight scene between Yoda and Count Dooku, the first thing that came to mind was sword fight in Muppet Treasure Island. I can never see the Yoda fight without laughing hard.

[stm177]

Big Bird could only hurt someone by accident, since he was Sesame Street's first 3 year old child in a muppet body. Later on, he was succeeded by Elmo.

Now, an Elmo vs. Sauron thread might be interesting, although I personally think that Elmo would trash Sauron.

[Dorizzit]

Oh god! Why? WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY??????????

[kpenguin]

We settled this one months ago in the (IIRC) Koa-Tou bard thread.

Kermit's a swashbuckler who can provably kick the asses of guys three times his size (see "Muppets Treasure Island"). He could either stab BB or, if he was feeling especially sneaky, stun the dozy avian freak into rumination with one of his anvilicious 'Sesame Street' Aesops about friendship and sharing. Then, just as Big Bird learns the lesson of the day, *WHAM!* upside his big yellow beak with Rainbow Connection (Kermit's reinforced combat banjo). The frog stands victorious!

Moral of the story: do not mess with Kermit. The mighty green one is like JFK crossed with George Patton and Gandhi! Even Barack Obama wears Kermit pyjamas. He is all that America is and should be. Kermit for President in '08.

Kermit wins. He just does.

[Rowanomicon]

[QUOTE=stm177;3915214]Now, an Elmo vs. Sauron thread...QUOTE]

If you do that... So help me Eru I will stab you in the face over the internet.
:smalltongue: Even I'm getting tired of Sauron Vs threads.

Anyway, Kermit totally destroys Bigbird.

[stm177]

If you do that... So help me Eru I will stab you in the face over the internet.
:smalltongue: Even I'm getting tired of Sauron Vs threads.

Anyway, Kermit totally destroys Bigbird.

I'd have to put a ton of effort into the first post in an Elmo vs. Sauron thread. I'm too lazy to risk doing all that work and having it locked by a mod, too. :smallwink:

[TheThan]

Kermit pulls out his banjo and challenges Big Bird to dueling banjos. In which case, Kermit wins.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5ytMPIa7Ys

[Raider]

Does it really matter? It would be EPIC

[Kneenibble]

Yes, yes, Treasure Island and all that, Kermit is a flashy swordsfrog, granted.

But none of you have met the Snuffleupagas.

Who, incidentally, told me a few stories about Big Bird...

In bed.

He's quite a beast behind closed doors, I hear.

Sure, sure, he's meek and jovial on the show.

But talk to the Snufs and get a few pints in him. You'll agree beyond all doubt, afterwards, that Kermit doesn't hold a candle. Guaranteed.

Also, I believe he's related to those crazy head-swapping feathery things in The Labyrinth, who don't let a grudge go easy. So even if Kermit won, he'd get the smackdown in some dark alley at 3AM, wandering home after a set ribbiting drunk.

[kpenguin]

Snuff exists only in Big Bird's imagination, dude.

[Mikeavelli]

Nah, nobody but Big Bird ever saw Snuffs for the longest time so they made it look like he was just an imaginary friend. But then they had an episode where it turns out Snuffs was real!

But if BB gets to bring in Snuffleupagus, then Kermit gets Animal on his side, at which point it's just no contest. Dude has the rage in him.

A-NI-MAL! A-NI-MAL!!!!

[Jae]

Kermit, NO DOUBT.

Big bird walks all clumsy Kermit could just kick him in the shin and he'd probably fall down :smalltongue:

Plus Kermit is my hero soo i've gotta stick by him.

[SpiderMew]

Yes, yes, Treasure Island and all that, Kermit is a flashy swordsfrog, granted.

But none of you have met the Snuffleupagas.

Who, incidentally, told me a few stories about Big Bird...

In bed.

He's quite a beast behind closed doors, I hear.

Sure, sure, he's meek and jovial on the show.

But talk to the Snufs and get a few pints in him. You'll agree beyond all doubt, afterwards, that Kermit doesn't hold a candle. Guaranteed.

Also, I believe he's related to those crazy head-swapping feathery things in The Labyrinth, who don't let a grudge go easy. So even if Kermit won, he'd get the smackdown in some dark alley at 3AM, wandering home after a set ribbiting drunk.

Ive actualy heard allot of the same stories, but told by cookiemonster when i went to go visit him in rehab.

But there's one thing you forgot to factor in. Mrs Piggy.
Kermit has to go to bed with that every night! She nearly killed him for hugging another woman. The frog has leaned allot about combat from her, and if Kermit was jumped by Big bird's Skeksis cousins (the bird creatures form The Dark Crystal) after the fight, Mrs Piggy would hunt them all down, and murder them in a fashion that's just too grim to describe. She's the reason why ide be scared to mess with Kermit, despite his sword play skills.

[Falconer]

Personally, I'd go for Kermit, 'cause he's had years, no, decades of experience in the one field that will ensure his victory: being green.

Because, as we all know...it's not easy being green...and yet Kermit is a master at it. Even Chuck Norris has not yet mastered being green.

(Though Thog seems to be on his way) :thog:

[Paragon Badger]

Big Bird...

Because he's really just a pterodactyl in fluffy yellow disguise.

And you do not mess with pterodactyls. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pterodactyl_%28film%29)

Unless you're SuperCommando Coolio. ...And even then. (http://tarstarkas.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=276&Itemid=46)

[H. Zee]

Kermit'd walk all over Big Bird. He's got ninja frog kung-fu powers. IN SPACE!!!

[Bago!!!]

What the devil is going on here? This is madness! Just plain Madness!!!!

(on a side note, kermit)

[Rowanomicon]

Damnit, I failed my Will Save Vs Compulsion.


What the devil is going on here? This is madness!

Madness? This. Is. The PLAYGROOOUUUND!!!

[TRM]

Kermit wins. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LDd-9t1BEQ)