New Webcomic Idea

[Cedworth]

Hey GITP Forums!

I have been doing a bit of work on a new webcomic idea. I'll post the first few here. Tell me what you think of it.

Please, if you don't like it, give tips to improve it, or tell me specifically what you don't like about it. Try to avoid pointless flaming, I won't even read it and it will probably make me want to do more comics out of pure spite.

#1

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v207/agent42/taf1.jpg


#2

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v207/agent42/taf2final.jpg


#3

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v207/agent42/taf3.jpg



Thanks.

[Trazoi]

I'd be happy to over some constructive criticism.

I've read through the three comics you've posted. I'd say my biggest concern is that it reads a bit flat. I'm not very good at critiquing writing as I find it hard to point out exactly what it is that bothers me, but I think your writing needs a bit more "punch". Sorry that that's a bit vague; I wish I could put my finger on exactly what it is. The actual plotline thus far could be workable, but I'm not really getting a strong desire to want to find out what happens next.

I'm not too sure about the character art either; I'm a big fan of minimalist character styles, but I'm not sure about the style you've got. The eyes look a bit big, and the choice of curves for the body just seems a bit off. Maybe if the faces were a bit more expressive than the stunned look they seem to have now it might work better. Strangely I thought your goblins look the best, maybe because of the smaller eyes and less detail in their clothes.

You seem to use gradient effects everywhere, which is a bit distracting. The floors for example look like they're made from metal, and it's distracting me from the action happening above them.

I'm not too sure about your basic dialog font either; I'm finding it hard to read that italic capital font. I usually direct people over to Blambot (http://www.blambot.com) to pick up some good dialog fonts, but you seem to be using Blambot's Anime Ace as a sound effects font so you might already know about that. You might also want a different font for your headings too; that serif font looks a bit plain for a comic.

The thing I liked best was your use of blurring and transparency for action - that looked pretty nice with your style.

[Cedworth]

thanks for that.

I appreciate some real criticism.

I've either gotten people who just tell me it's great, or just that they don't like it.

It's my first attempt and I really don't know what I'm doing, so I actually want real criticism to improve things.

I agree with some of what you said, and actually I really liked the goblins and orcs. Yeah, once I figured out how to do gradients, I just felt like I needed them everywhere.

as far as the writing goes, I really just tried to condense the plot thus far into 3 pages, just to have some stuff to show to people for opinions. There is actually a lot more to it in the full version, but I don't want to use it all until I am sure that I like the art.

[mememememe]

What you have is pretty good, what Trazoi said about character models...

hehehe, lunch to go. Brilliant.

[Jayngfet]

im gonna go with an above comment, dilouge seems a bit flat, but thats all that I can see wrong with it.

[stm177]

You could experiment with the eyes a bit - maybe try manga style eyes. Manga and anime have a whole language of eye expressions for giant eyes.

The italic font would be good for an occasional exclamation like "Zounds!", but I also think you should try a more standard comic sans serif font for normal dialogue.

Your speech bubble placement is good.

The plot needs some more meat on its bones, but I'm sure that will come naturally if you stick with it.

[Wreckingrocc]

The first comic I've read that truly disturbed me. Was that based on some children's show? Or why do the goblins have to scare children (and me) by saying 'Goblin' every five words?

[Edmundog]

The eyes are a real issue. Mostly the pupils. Pupils are extremely important, because if they aren't focused right, the eyes look dead. I'd recommend ditching the irises altogether (They just clutter it up at this size.), and making the eyes a slightly more irregular shape. And I always recommend that you look at other artists to help you out. For your style, there's OotS, of course, and 'South Park' is a great one for handling simplistic, geometric faces.