View Full Version : How to screw with a clerics head? (Or, the origins of gods)

2008-02-15, 08:55 PM
"You know that goddess of Death & Magic you're worshipping? Started out patron saint of some cemetary in Philly. Then everyone living in that city realized they're already dead inside, and she got bigger. Eventually she married the god of fires-started-during-race-riots and he agreed she would get dominion over all cremation if she took it aurally. That's why she can't hear your prayers.

"Oh, do you want to know what Vecna called her during highschool?"

In brief, I was reading the "Requiem for a God" minibook (bored at a friend's house), it mentioned clerics of a dead god keeping their power if a related god expands their portfolio- specifically a "god of the sea" expanding to "god of all waters". Then I thought to myself "certainly he can't take over a god of the ocean, that's orders of magnitude bigger. Gotta take over smaller bodies of water... what kind self respecting god would admit to owning a lake? Or a rainpuddle?"

One thought experiment later, I have a vision of dozens of gods of rainpuddles warring amongst themselves, or allying to take down the tyrannical lakegod they evaporated from. Then realize I've got a perfect oppourtunity to run with this idea- I play an insane, older druid who's convinced he was talking to his god (Obad-hai [nature, True neutral]) while he was in a magically-preserved coma for 30 years, and four NPCs who worship one goddess I'm not too comfy with (Wee Jas [death & magic, Lawful neutral]) are following me because they're interested in the circumstances around said magic coma.

What embarassing stories could I make up to casually tell them about her, and other deities, under the guise that Obad & I were just gossiping after the first decade or so? And how do I do this without having to lay the smackdown on 4 spellcasters 1-2 levels beneath me?

2008-02-15, 09:12 PM
Well, it wouldn't be fiction to say that Gruumsh and Lolth are ex-lovers. After Corellon took Gruumsh's eye and banished Lolth to the underground, the relationship kinda died.

Let's not forget that Vecna, a powerful lich, got beat up by a vampiric noncaster.

If Heironeous and Hextor are half-brothers, I'd hate to see what their parents looked like.