Post the craziest theories (un)imaginable.

[Paragon Badger]

The Order of the Stick are in the Matrix.

The Snarl is in fact the mass of singular human consciousness created at the end of Evangelion, who were actually in the first utopian Matrix that failed when the inhabitants rejected it and destroyed themselves. Oots takes place in Version 2.0 of the Matrix, where all sorts of fantasy creatures and monsters, and some 'human' programs exist to serve as ignorant NPCs for the benefit of the human minds. However, still rejecting this 'reality' as unrealistic, the human collective brain stays in the form of the Snarl, thus the Order of the Scribble and Stick are a series of NPC programs (also ignorant of their true form) designed to limit the Snarl from getting out of hand while the machines recode the Matrix to include the Oracle, an altered program of the Kobold Oracle made to understand human nature more efficiently. Eventually, the Machines successfully revert the Snarl back into multiple minds, by using the Oracle, and continue the Matrix from then on.

Beat that, Miko/Roy shippers. :smallamused:

Edit: Go ahead. Try and prove it impossible. :smalltongue:

[King of Nowhere]

Xykon is good
Xykon kill goblins regulary because they're evil. He found a whole city of evil hobgoblins and tried to eradicate this evil by sending this hobbos against a fortified city defended by paladins, to bring greater glory to them. His plan intended his troops to be slaughtered due to a lack of tactic (he made his best to make sure his army wasn't organized), but was twarted by Redcloak leading the army. Xykon also killed a lot of good people, but now they're in paradise, after all he just do them a favor, because he's good.
Xykon could have destroied the whole order back in the dungeon of dorukan (a single meteor swarm would have been enough) but he didn't because he didn't want to kill good people. Of course he killed many paladins in Start of Darkness, but he did it because they were attacking peaceful goblin tribes, so they were to be stopped (I didn't spoiler it because it's not a big secret and especially because I'm really stretching it) (the more open-minded might see a contradiction in the fact that I judge the all the goblins evil when Xykon kill them, and all good when paladins kill them, but this thread is entitled "craziest theories", so let's not start to be entirely reasonable).

He sided with Redcloak because RC plan is (or at least could be) for greater good (see SoD). He pretend himself evil to bluff RC, who will not trust a good person. In fact even RC is good, and he pretend to be evil to bluff Xykon.
At last, Xykon crown adsorbed all his evil from someone who wear it, so it may seem a proof tha X is evil. But, we have already established that he's good, so the crown took his evil from Fyron. Fyron was evil and Xykon killed him for that reason, again proving he's good.

[Eran of Arcadia]

King of Nowere is Xykon

And is clearly engaged in propaganda.

[Ikialev]

Xykon Is Klarth's Father

D:

[Kanti]

V is a guy and belkar is gay for him!!

[King of Nowhere]

Wooops! I didn't want to post four times!
Damn slow internet connection!

[SPoD]

V is a guy and belkar is gay for him!!

That one is actually entirely possible, perhaps even probable.

Anyway, unimaginable theories...

The Monster in the Darkness is actually an Epic-level Roy, who traveled back in time at the end of the current story to show up where he was found in Start of Darkness. His confusion is due to an amnesia/feeblemind effect that is inherent in time travel. At the final battle, he will remember everything, throw down his umbrella, and join current-Roy side-by-side to fight Xykon. Then, current-Roy must leave to travel back to the past so that he's there when he's needed.

[Emperor Ing]

the MITD is punpun!

V can spontaneously, uncontrollably, change gender at any given time

Belkar is Lawful Good

Ceika, the Rebel Alliance Girl, and Haley are ignoring roy's ghost on purpose

Miko is now offically a Death Knight, even though we havent seen it

the entire OOTS sequence turns out to be Elan's dream

[Alfryd]

Edit: Go ahead. Try and prove it impossible.
Well, I found it at least as plausible as the official explanation.

[Grod_The_Giant]

Well, I found it at least as plausible as the official explanation.

ok, but one is ridiculous fantasy, and one is ridiculous science fiction.

[Raider]

The comic is really a parody of GURPS

[Raider]

The comic is really a parody of GURPS

[ZFR]

Here is my theory:

The Giant hacked into Paragon Badger's account and started this thread because he's out of new ideas.

[Sixscimitars]

The Guy in a Fancy Cape (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0341.html) is actually an epic level character who is manipulating everybody to get the Gates open so that he can step in, take the gate, and Planeshift the Snarl into the world of Eragon, so then everybody's happy!
Note: I'm kidding so don't kill me if you're an Eragon fan.

[Ganurath]

The Snarl, much like the cake, is a lie.

[Pronounceable]

I was aiming for an unimaginable theory, but I couldn't imagine it...

[Barbolanero]

It seems very clear that the real mastermind behind everything is :thog:. Why?, well, he is clearly a PC that get's distracted all the time, thus giving the appearence of being retarded and childish, which could only lead to the conclusion that is the DM character, and his personality is due to th players metagame. By the way, the real PC are: :xykon:, :sabine:, :roach: and :thog:.
The strip will end when the final players arrives late to the gaming session and the DM releases the Snarl just so he can have an exuse to tell everybody: "it's time to stop for god's sake, it's been 3 months"

[Trazoi]

Theory: Roy isn't actually dead.

What actually happened was, back in strips 36-39 where Roy had to spend the night poisoned, he slipped into a hallucinogenic sleep. Everything from that point on has just been in Roy's imagination. In a dozen or so more strips Roy will wake up and they'll have to finish the Dungeon of Dorukan for real.

[Jayngfet]

the snarl is a hive mind of creatures, Xykon is a part of this hive that got separated through a gate when no one was looking, he just wants to let his buddies out and kill a few gods.

[Lupy]

The entire strip is actually an interpretive depiction of the life of Elvis Presly, and at the end Trogdor, Banjo, and Elvis will be revealed as the real gods of the universe, kill the snarl, then have the MitD stand in the light telling us V was born Genderless, he is invisble except for the eyes, and Belkar is a Paladin bent on defeating anything he views as evil.

[PirateMonk]

Pompey is the offspring of V and the Snarl. Samantha is the offspring of Zz'dtri and Blackwing.

Thog and Lord Shojo are half brothers plotting against each other while convincing everyone that they're idiots. Thog seduced Miko and made her assassinate Shojo.


Here is my theory:

The Giant hacked into Paragon Badger's account and started this thread because he's out of new ideas.

Paragon Badger is the Giant's alt, and the Giant has been preparing for this moment for half a year.

[BisectedBrioche]

Belkar and Xykon are actually epic level paladins. However the world has become so corrupt that everything is evil (including them, thus they fell and no longer have their paladin abilities) so they kill indiscriminatly.

[PirateMonk]

Haley and Celia can't see Roy because some of the trees near Azure City are epileptic (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EpilepticTrees).

[Qov]

:belkar: is a brilliant 21st century psychopath who killed and tortured many people for his pleasure, then when suspicion fell upon him, escaped to the OotS fantasy world through an interdimensional rift.

[Purple Cloak]

Xykon is Belkars Father!

[XenoTherapy]

Babies? Go team cleric!

Hilgya will have :durkon: 's baby, and name it Roynale.

[Green-Shirt Q]

Thog is the smartest person in the universe! He just shows it in a different way.
Nale is also the stupidest, craziest person in the universe, but he is able to convince he is smart.

Actually, that sounds probable, let me try again.

Elan's father is Roy!

[Watchdog]

Elan's father is Roy!

On the contrary, Elan's father is Banjo the Clown.

[Burley]

I've actually been theorizing that The Great God Banjo will, indeed, help in the struggle against The Snarl. A god gets its power from the faith of its followers. Now, Banjo may have only one follower, but who could throw more blind, unbridled faith at a god than Elan? Maybe Thog could, which is why I also theorize that Elan converted Thog to The Church of Banjo, which, as we know, accepts all people regardless of race or alignment.

:smallsigh: "Survive, Survive, Survive, Survive the attacks of The Snarl":smallsigh:

[Watchdog]

Hmmm... I wonder what the stats are on a half puppet?

[The gF]

All the weirdness in the story is because some of the trees are epileptic.

[Indon]

Clearly, the Order of the Stick represents the Bible (the version upgrade at the beginning is the start of the New Testament, in case you were curious), and Roy Died For Your Level Loss Upon Ressurection. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EveryoneIsJesusInPurgatory)

[MrEdwardNigma]

Here is my theory:

The Giant hacked into Paragon Badger's account and started this thread because he's out of new ideas.
Au contraire! You are in fact The Giant, who is trying to stop this thread from discovering the real plot!

In the real plot, the Snarl is just a lie, made up by the gods to keep people from opening the gates. If they do ever open the gates, they will discover that the whole world is the Matrix, or, as we know it, a Roleplaying Game.

On the other hand...
-Why are you guys jumping to such ridiculous conclusions?! Haven't you ever heard of Occam's Razor? The simplest explanation is probably the correct one!
-So what's the simplest explanation?
-(Sarcastically) I don't know, maybe they're all reverse vampires and they have to get home before dark!
-Aaah! Reverse vampires!

[Lupy]

The Snarl is already out and is actually one of the flumphs. :smallamused:

[MrEdwardNigma]

Thanks, I forgot their name, Lupy.

The Flumphs are actually the PCs!

[Gamerlord]

the mitd is elan and nales bro

i know it's pretty crazy but what if that warlord and barmaid gave birth to something sooo creepy-looking that they abandoned it?

[someonenonotyou]

elan is actually nales evil evil twin he is just spying on the PC's for the Snarl
and roy ways really adopted but euagne just like messing with him:smallbiggrin: that would be really funny

[Wolfprint]

The MitD is actually the third Summers brother.

V, upon discovery of the secret of ultimate arcane power, will die in an epic battle and transfer all his/her magical power to Roy, who will resurrect in the final battle all in Red, upon which he will confer onto the other team members colour-coded uniforms (Belkar is Green, Haley is Yellow, Durkon is Black, and Elan is Pink), and they will summon and combine a giant robot and crush Xykon (whew pant pant).

[Edan]

It is actually a weird predestination time loop where V is actually him/herself, Xykon and the Snarl. His/her ultimate arcane power comes when he first discovers his/her time manipulation ability contained within the doilies used for tea. Once V reaches old age, he/she uses rule defying magic to go back in time, reincarnated as Xykon who then goes on to take over the world, and eventually reach divine ranks, where V then becomes able to travel back into the threads of creation, bind him/herself to it and become the Snarl. Finally, after becoming the Snarl, V will take over time and space itself rebuilding the world to his/her whim. Finally the loop comes to a close when Snarl-V creates the world that he/she spend multiple lives on.

Also, everyone else dies, they get literal bridges dropped on them (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DroppedABridgeOnHim) shortly after V obtains ultimate arcane power. To make this even more weird, I propose that all the characters are just manifestations of different aspects of Snarl-V's mind and personality, and that it is all just a dream concocted by the manifestation of mightier than Pun-Pun V. And for the cherry on top, the MitD is actually an epic undead/blackguard/hulking hurler version of Miko created by Snarl-V to only serve as occasional comic relief and to create meaningless speculation among his/her worshipers.

[Khanderas]

Nale and Elan are the same person. Or rather the same splintered god that was split into two confused aspects by the Snarl on its first killingspree.

[Sage in the Playground]

The MitD turns out to be a future Cyber Roy-Elan hybrid.

[Grey Watcher]

I maintain that the entire Order of the Stick saga and its attendant message boards are one of the early offensives in tvtropes.org's attempt to conquer the internet.

[Caerwyn]

the OOTS (and Rich himself) don't really exist. None of us do.

An autistic child is dreaming it all up, because dreaming about St Elsewhere is dull.

Caerwyn

[DanielX]

Bizarre theories, spoiled because there's a miniscule chance of them being true:


- Xykon is actually Elan/Nale's grandpa. As a young man, he leaves a son somewhere, who grows up to be an evil warlord who somehow gets tangled up with a kindly barmaid... oh, and Sabine is the grandmother.



- The Snarl is actually the dark god Moloch, who maintains Gehennom and the Dungeon of Doom. The comic will end with the surviving members of OOTS entering the Dungeon and going down to obtain the Amulet of Yendor, the only item that can actually be used to defeat the Snarl. Meanwhile, the Linear Guild will go down to try and take it for themselves.



- Therkla is actually the daughter of Eugene Greenhilt, who'd had a relationship with an orc sorceress (possibly Redcloak's reclusive aunt who lives over in Someplace Else) before meeting Sara. The tumultuous breakup is what resulted in Eugene's deep-seated hatred of sorcerers. She is thus Roy's half-sister. She's actually a little older than she appears or acts (not unsurprising, given that she's the leading ninja); she was aged back to child by one of Eugene's experiments gone wrong (they'd reconciled, briefly, before he died). She and Roy actually knew each other, although Roy didn't recognize her (he thinks of her as being middle-aged...).



- The Snarl/Moloch was actually hired by the other gods to do away with Zeus and his subordinates, who were opposed to their plans to destroy their initial world and recreate it anew to fix up various problems. Not all of them are even dead - Pallas Athena lead a band of survivors including Hephaestus, Eros, and Hermes, away to the far Outer Planes along with the surviving souls of their followers. The Snarl then set about destroying the world - just as the other Gods wanted. They finally decided to imprison it because they were afraid that it might decide to go after THEM. They systematically hid all evidence of the past "Gods" to keep the survivors from becoming strong from having believers.
Except the surviving Greek gods are returning, planning their revenge. Hermes came to Earth, hiding himself in his accustomed form of a thief, and keeping his powers from being visible. He became enamored with a mortal woman and... next thing you know, Hailey Starshine is born. The role of OOTS is to actually become new gods, as well as raise more up (starting with Banjo). Only, Durkon is an unwitting mole (as Thor's servant); he will die after finding himself in a position where he must choose between his team and his God.

[hewhosaysfish]

Haley is not human: she is actually one of a race of red-haired humanoids known as Rouges. The Giant has attempted to leak this information using various bogus forum accounts (as foreshadowing/viral marketting thing) but people keep mistaking it for a mispelling of Rogue.