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View Full Version : Would you want a real-life familiar?



Saph
2008-02-22, 12:52 PM
Just imagine for a second that you had the D&D "Summon Familiar" class feature in real life. Would you want one?

A D&D familiar costs 100 gp, which probably works out to a few thousand dollars or so, so they're not all that cheap. And then you'd have to feed them, but that wouldn't cost any more than a regular pet.

On the plus side, a familiar would be like a permanent companion. You could chat to it (assuming it was a raven, or you were high enough level) and ask it to do odd jobs. If it could fly or climb, it could carry messages, or be a scout, or go through windows to let you into the house when you'd forgotten your keys. And you'd never have to worry about losing it, because you could always sense where it was.

On the other hand, having a talking animal around all the time might get annoying. Most of the familiar animals have low Charisma scores (a cat is the highest, and it's only Cha 7) so they're probably not very diplomatic. And the familiar's Int score won't be all that high, either. If you didn't get on with your familiar, you might get sick of listening to it really fast - you'd probably spend most of your time telling it to shut up. And of course, if the familiar dies, you're in trouble.

You'd have to pick what kind of animal you wanted, too. I think I'd probably go for a cat or a weasel, since they make better pets. But a flier would be cool as well.

So, if you had the choice, would you get one?

- Saph

seedjar
2008-02-22, 01:28 PM
It would be cool, but the Con damage from losing it could easily kill a low-level commoner like me.
~Joe

PS - Er, maybe that's a homunculus I'm thinking of...? Psicrystals...? My druid's bogun? In any case, I'm not keen on XP loss - I don't want to have to repeat high school just because Bowser decided to chase a cat into traffic.

FatherMalkav
2008-02-22, 01:52 PM
I'd love one, and I agree with the weasel, or possible a raven.

The idea of a world this was is kind of like the Golden Compass series, isn't it? Or was it a diffirent book where they all had a connected animal?

Craig1f
2008-02-22, 01:55 PM
It would be cool, but the Con damage from losing it could easily kill a low-level commoner like me.
~Joe

I lol'd

Familiar's personalities are basically imprints of their masters, since their intelligence is magic-based. They're not likely to have an overly annoying personality, and they're likely to remain quiet when their master doesn't want them talking.

I'd love to have a familiar, unless, perhaps, I lived in a city (which I do). Any non-flying familiars would have to stay inside in a city, and any flying familiars would probably get bored.

If I lived in the burbs though, a cat would probably be the easiest. It would be degrading to put a dog or wolf on a leash, but a cat can just go outside, do his thing, and come back whenever. A bird would be nice and perhaps useful, but petting a cat is way more fun than petting a bird.

If I lived in an area where I could allow a dog or wolf to roam freely, I'd take that instead. I doubt that would be allowed anywhere with a wolf though.

Reinboom
2008-02-22, 02:26 PM
The greatest benefit of a familiar:
They magically disappear when you don't need them or forget about them. And reappear otherwise.


I don't think I would want one. The negatives of losing it is too great, and it costs $30224.10 (USD) (http://coinmill.com/XAU_calculator.html#XAU=32)

Squash Monster
2008-02-22, 02:31 PM
Can I trade my familiar in for an alternate class feature? Like, say... Abrupt Jaunt?

Saph
2008-02-22, 02:54 PM
Can I trade my familiar in for an alternate class feature? Like, say... Abrupt Jaunt?

Now you've hurt its feelings.

- Saph

Prometheus
2008-02-22, 03:10 PM
I think I would want it, but only so it would do menial tasks for me. That doesn't sound like a very kind way to treat a pet, so I'd probably better off not having one.

Fhaolan
2008-02-22, 03:13 PM
Yes. The only difficulty is that the standard companion list is lacking some of the animals I would consider. Dogs, for instance. Especially in the size range that I prefer dogs, like malamutes, german shepards, etc. [As examples of breeds only. I actually prefer mutts, as they tend to be physically more robust.]

Keld Denar
2008-02-22, 03:16 PM
The book Night of the Eye, set in the Dragonlance universe had character with a Seagull familiar in a culture where magic wasn't widely known or understood. Good read of anyone who is interested in seeing how something like this would probably feel.

I personally always thought it would be great to have something like a pseudodragon or something similar as a familiar when I was much younger. Something that could become invisible to be out of sight as needed, and could communicate telepathically. There was another book I read a long time ago that had a boy in a RL setting who aquired a dragon as something similar to a familar in a strange magic shop. Was a great book, one of my favorites when I was younger, but I can't remember what it was called anymore.

Weirdlet
2008-02-22, 03:58 PM
Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher, by Bruce Coville- although I thought it was more of a foster-parent arrangement than a familiar...

I might take a familiar if I could choose one of my established cats.

Bosaxon
2008-02-22, 04:44 PM
I might go for a spellstitched familiar if I ever had the chance. Why settle for one breed of cat or dog when you can have several at once?

Lizardfolk Lich
2008-02-22, 04:46 PM
I wouldn't want it to watch me all the time...

NEO|Phyte
2008-02-22, 05:01 PM
Familiars are meh, I'll take a psicrystal. It can do everything a familiar can (and more), its harder to kill, and a rock is less conspicuous than an animal. Plus, nothing bad happens to me if it dies.

Eldmor
2008-02-22, 05:27 PM
Familiars are meh, I'll take a psicrystal. It can do everything a familiar can (and more), its harder to kill, and a rock is less conspicuous than an animal. Plus, nothing bad happens to me if it dies.
Psicrystal for the win. It's basically a remote webcam for your brain in modern terms. Plus it being some gem could validate it as a good luck charm or something you sifted up at one of those "sift for gems in a bag of $10 dirt" places in Kentucky. Plus psicrystals don't need to be fed, given water, or even need air.

Wraithy
2008-02-22, 05:29 PM
Familiars are meh, I'll take a psicrystal. It can do everything a familiar can (and more), its harder to kill, and a rock is less conspicuous than an animal. Plus, nothing bad happens to me if it dies.

Quoted For Truth

LibraryOgre
2008-02-22, 05:43 PM
Familiars are meh, I'll take a psicrystal. It can do everything a familiar can (and more), its harder to kill, and a rock is less conspicuous than an animal. Plus, nothing bad happens to me if it dies.

So... you want a Pet Rock. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pet_Rock)

Collin152
2008-02-22, 05:57 PM
I'd totally get a Raven familiar and name it Pythagoras.

Keld Denar
2008-02-22, 06:12 PM
Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher, by Bruce Coville- although I thought it was more of a foster-parent arrangement than a familiar...


OMG, that was it. That was totally my favorite book for a couple years. I can't believe anyone else has actually heard of or read it. I totally wanted a minidragon familiar like that...well, until it got older. Man....such a good book.

Helios Sunshard
2008-02-22, 06:13 PM
It would be nice. I would like to have a flying familiar, yet, it is kinda weird to see a falcon or owl around you at all times (and if you get a raven you may be seen as a source of evil :smalltongue: ), so i would have a cat... if i see a first level commonerperson, he will run in fear as soon as my powerful companion comes to my aid.

Collin152
2008-02-22, 06:14 PM
Course, if I had pale green skin, horns, and dressed in black, my Raven's name would be Diablo.

Newtkeeper
2008-02-22, 06:20 PM
A pet rock would be cool, especially one with powers, but familiars are *old school*. I could go with a raven, myself. Classic. Suits my idiom, and all that.

On the other hand, as a low level expert (assuming D&D terminology; I actually believe that the best societies are classless:smalltongue: ), I don't see myself getting one any time soon.



And Malkav, it was the Golden Compass.

Demented
2008-02-22, 06:29 PM
Mm, too pricey for me.

I've got a much cheaper familiar already. Admittedly, it can't move on its own, and it's very finicky about what I feed it, but it does many things that a familiar could never hope to do, and does them very well. Not to mention, it has Intel Inside. :D
(No offense to the AMDers, but your slogans aren't nearly as interesting.)

UglyPanda
2008-02-22, 06:40 PM
I wouldn't want one. People look at you weird if you carry around an animal all the time, especially if you're talking to it. I'd rather use the money to buy a nice car.

SurlySeraph
2008-02-22, 06:44 PM
Nah, I wouldn't want a familiar. If I want something to talk to, I've got the entire population of the Internet.

Collin152
2008-02-22, 07:14 PM
Nah, I wouldn't want a familiar. If I want something to talk to, I've got the entire population of the Internet.

Internet Familiar! Ah!

Townopolis
2008-02-22, 07:15 PM
Yes. I would get a ferret.

Since its personality is attuned to and reflective of my own (assuming the familiar's personality isn't just your own wholesale) I would be able to rely on it working with me to keep itself safe, and when i'm not crossing streets, I get a small furry animal that's also a boon companion! All win for me.

Collin152
2008-02-22, 07:50 PM
Hm, I noticed something. Ravens don't speak common, but any one language I can speak. Even if not, assuming my version of common is English...
If it spoke English, it'd be easier to torment people in the night when voices start coming out of nowhere, following them around. But, if my dear Pythagoras spoke, say Japanese, I could converse with it more privately (as in, only three out of five of my friends would understand it).

FireFox
2008-02-22, 08:17 PM
id have a highly trained red fox as a familiar. well, it wouldnt get along with all the dogs in my house, but after i moved out, its good to have some1 to talk to...

Collin152
2008-02-22, 08:24 PM
Heh. That reminds me of the Simpsons episode "El Viaje Misterioso de nuestro Jomer". You know, with the talking coyote?
If your familiar tells you to find your soul-mate, take him with you for further counsel.

wadledo
2008-02-22, 08:38 PM
I'd like to relate to a game I'm playing in, where I'm a dwarf wizard with a hedgehog familiar named Boo.
I had just referenced to the webcomic, Aoi House,

Wadledo wrote:
ArtifexFelicis wrote:
All it means is that peeping toms better step very, very, very, lightly. :3

Bolded and underlined for emphasis.
Boo is a peeping tom on steroids with epic gear and a $5000 camera.
Figuratively speaking of course, but you get the idea.

So, yes.
Hamster familiar please, on the double!

Swooper
2008-02-22, 08:39 PM
Definitely, but only if I could choose my cat as my familiar instead of summoning a new one.

Edit: Also, cats have Cha 7? What the heck? :smallconfused: There's about one 0 missing at the end :smalltongue:

Triaxx
2008-02-22, 08:39 PM
Yes, I would, but only if I could have a Mini-Drag like Pip from Alan Dean Foster's books.

Ganurath
2008-02-22, 08:44 PM
I'd wait until I could take Improved Familiar for a Mephit. Intelligent conversation, and learn a new language to boot. Never mind getting the sandblast annoying coworkers.

Halna LeGavilk
2008-02-22, 09:06 PM
A Great Wyrm Gold Dragon.

Or maybe a Legendary Tiger.

SilverClawShift
2008-02-22, 09:17 PM
I can't beleive no one's even brought up the fact that a familiar grants you a side-benefit based on what type it is.

I'd be willing to adopt a rat familiar just for a +2 bonus to my fortitude saves. Even a little bonus means I'm less likely to get sick. If I had 1 less cold every 2 years, I'd consider feeding the little sucker a fair trade.
Not to mention, having a sentient rat that was utterly loyal to me would be pretty handy. I'd probably sew him a little leather sidepack so he could snag and carry small stuff for me.

Or a hedgehog familiar. +1 AC means a lot to a low level unarmored NPC-class creature like me. And since it's magic, I could have him be blue and call him Sonic.

Or an owl. Not for the +3 to spot checks, but just to have a sentient owl following me around. I wouldn't care if I looked crazy, sentient freaking owl.

Collin152
2008-02-22, 09:19 PM
I can't beleive no one's even brought up the fact that a familiar grants you a side-benefit based on what type it is.

I'd be willing to adopt a rat familiar just for a +2 bonus to my fortitude saves. Even a little bonus means I'm less likely to get sick. If I had 1 less cold every 2 years, I'd consider feeding the little sucker a fair trade.
Not to mention, having a sentient rat that was utterly loyal to me would be pretty handy. I'd probably sew him a little leather sidepack so he could snag and carry small stuff for me.

Or a hedgehog familiar. +1 AC means a lot to a low level unarmored NPC-class creature like me. And since it's magic, I could have him be blue and call him Sonic.

Or an owl. Not for the +3 to spot checks, but just to have a sentient owl following me around. I wouldn't care if I looked crazy, sentient freaking owl.

Technicaly I mentioned a Raven's speech.
Would you name the owl Archimedes?

Glyphic
2008-02-22, 09:21 PM
Hells yes.

When it goes missing I can just go out yelling..

"Snake? Snake!? Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!"

Telonius
2008-02-22, 09:33 PM
If I can take the Improved Familiar feat and get myself a Pseudodragon, then sure!

Regular familiars? I'd go for a cat, definitely.

Admiral Squish
2008-02-22, 09:57 PM
If we have only familiars, I'd go with a raven. I'd have it sit on my shoulder, name it Poe and have it screech 'NEVERMORE' periodically.

Psicrystal would definitely be more fun, though. I had a soulkife with a psicrystal earring, once. I'd probably tie it onto my necklace when I wasn't using it.

However, for sheer usefulness, I'd say the necromancer variant skeletal minion. I could hang it on a rack in my closet when I wasn't using it and claim I was taking an anatomy class.

_Puppetmaster_
2008-02-22, 10:09 PM
The book Night of the Eye, set in the Dragonlance universe had character with a Seagull familiar in a culture where magic wasn't widely known or understood. Good read of anyone who is interested in seeing how something like this would probably feel.

I personally always thought it would be great to have something like a pseudodragon or something similar as a familiar when I was much younger. Something that could become invisible to be out of sight as needed, and could communicate telepathically. There was another book I read a long time ago that had a boy in a RL setting who aquired a dragon as something similar to a familar in a strange magic shop. Was a great book, one of my favorites when I was younger, but I can't remember what it was called anymore.

That book was one of the books in the "The Circle Opens" series. The one about Tris.

DrizztFan24
2008-02-22, 10:18 PM
A Great Wyrm Gold Dragon.

Ditto!
I was thinking I was gonna be the lucky first to mention a dragon...but hey I would totally want a dragon familiar

_Puppetmaster_
2008-02-22, 10:36 PM
I'd totally get a rat for the not-getting sick as much. and it would be so cool to have a rat that is sentient following me around.

Collin152
2008-02-22, 10:46 PM
That book was one of the books in the "The Circle Opens" series. The one about Tris.

It certainly doesn't sound liek Shatterglass to me...

AtomicKitKat
2008-02-23, 12:03 AM
Hmm. Alter Self shared with familiar to turn into a real "companion"...:smallwink:

tyckspoon
2008-02-23, 12:55 AM
Hmm. Alter Self shared with familiar to turn into a real "companion"...:smallwink:

Doesn't work. Share Spells only changes the range (in the case of casting Personal spells on your familiar but not yourself) and makes a type exception in case you want to share something like Enlarge Person. It doesn't change any of the other parameters or limitations of the spell.. so you can Alter your Familiar into another Magical Beast that is within one size category (Diminutive to Small, if you had a Tiny familiar.)

Reinboom
2008-02-23, 01:07 AM
As I said initially.
$30,000 is way too much for me for such tiny benefits.

However, I guess it further depends on the circumstances.
I doubt anybody here would have enough hit die to qualify for improved familiar though.


Also, "Great Wyrm Gold Dragon"'s are not a familiar type one can choose for a familiar...
If it allowed such absurdities, I would rather have an Efreet for the wishes... one wish = $377,877,546 worth of gold (25,000 gp - 400,000 ounces)... er... before you flood the market, that is.
Not to mention the other massive benefits.

AslanCross
2008-02-23, 01:41 AM
Internet Familiar! Ah!

Having the Internet as a familiar would make your familiar dumber and smarter than you at the same time.

kirbsys
2008-02-23, 01:56 AM
If I was high enough level to have a homoculus as my familiar sure. If not, I might go for either a raven or a toad. The raven would be cooler, but the toad would make me pretty damn tough. Considering as a commoner I have what, four hit points? Id be practically doubling that with the +3.

Joran
2008-02-23, 02:06 AM
The idea of a world this was is kind of like the Golden Compass series, isn't it? Or was it a diffirent book where they all had a connected animal?

Yes, you are correct, the His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman.

In that world, everybody has something called a "daemon". The cooler thing is that if the person hasn't hit puberty, his or her daemon can still shapeshift. Once a person hits adulthood, the daemon stays in one shape, usually a shape befitting the personality of the person.

I don't think there's a mental link with the daemon, but the daemon can talk and the person knows the general direction that his or her daemon is.

P.S. Back on track, I would take a familiar, assuming I could control it with my mind. A cat or a dog of some kind would be my choice, so I could make it go get me something ;)

CockroachTeaParty
2008-02-23, 02:19 AM
I would love a familiar, assuming I could afford one. I think a tiny green viper would be pretty sweet. A little flicking tongue, beady black eyes... cute, yet deadly to those who cross me. I would name him (or her? I always liked the idea of a familiar being the opposite gender, ala His Dark Materials) Seth, or Sharla if it were a girl.

Hyrael
2008-02-23, 02:44 AM
Well, if i had a familiar, that would mean I could cast arcane spells as well, so I dont think the money would be a problem. I mean, I could shoot people with bolts of magical energy. there's a big market for that kind of ****. and dont tell me that's not part of the bargain; if you can imbue a normal animal with sentience, you can certainly shoot fire at people or sheild yourself from attacks.

So, puting aside the money, a familiar is a highly-intelligent, capable, skilled animal. They have more HP, BAB, skills and Better saves than standard animals, so this translates into a very capable creature. you dont really need to worry about them falling into things or eating bad meat, like other pets.

I'm a poor, lonely SOB, so I'd want a Raven to chat and joke with, and to do my bidding, whatever it may be. I like birds, particularly bright ones like parrots and corvids. Maybe I'm thinking of Daemons too much, but I cant imagine a familiar ever becoming annoying or irritating, unless you had a serious self-loathing problem.

skywalker
2008-02-23, 03:10 AM
Dragon Familiar, Celestial Familiar, or Improved Familiar FTW. Otherwise, no, I don't think so. The regular choices are just so bland. Maybe a lizard. Birds creep me out and are dirty. I might have a cat familiar.

But, now, a wyrmling familiar. Even though it's small, cripes, it's a dragon. Or a blink dog, those are way cool. I think the coolest, though, would be a Coure Eladrin. They're like pixies. They'd be so much fun to joke around with and stuff.

FinalJustice
2008-02-23, 03:23 AM
Celestial Familiar to get a Lantern Archon.

Chats with me: Check
And with everyone else in the world: Double Check
Buffs me: Check (Bless at will and Magic Circle Against Evil): Double Check
Profit: Check (Continual Flame at will: Eternal Torches would be expensive)
Teleports anywhere at will: Check (Mail? Fedex? I don't think so)
Scares the crap out of evildoers, even being a shiny globe of light: Check (Aura of Menace)
Laz0rs to shot trespassers: Check (1d6 damage, can one hit kill most commoners around)

In your face, Navi! =D

bibliophile
2008-02-23, 10:41 AM
OMG, that was it. That was totally my favorite book for a couple years. I can't believe anyone else has actually heard of or read it. I totally wanted a minidragon familiar like that...well, until it got older. Man....such a good book.



Wow, I haven't thought of that book in years. Bruce Coville was one of my favorite authours. But wait; wouldn't a talking skull be better than a dragon?

AtomicKitKat
2008-02-23, 11:41 AM
Doesn't work. Share Spells only changes the range (in the case of casting Personal spells on your familiar but not yourself) and makes a type exception in case you want to share something like Enlarge Person. It doesn't change any of the other parameters or limitations of the spell.. so you can Alter your Familiar into another Magical Beast that is within one size category (Diminutive to Small, if you had a Tiny familiar.)

Fine. Disguise Self or Polymorph Self or whatever. They only need to be more attractive enough to me for one night...:smallwink:

SoD
2008-02-23, 11:53 AM
Aaa. I would totally get me a bat familiar! He'd sit in my pocket and be all warm and fuzzy, and when I'm not moving, he'd hang upside down nearby and scare my sister!

LibraryOgre
2008-02-23, 12:24 PM
The greatest benefit of a familiar:
They magically disappear when you don't need them or forget about them. And reappear otherwise.


I don't think I would want one. The negatives of losing it is too great, and it costs $30224.10 (USD) (http://coinmill.com/XAU_calculator.html#XAU=32)

Only if you're talking about it for gold value. 100 gold is a measurement of value in D&D. You need to look at its purchasing power, which is, unfortunately, borked by the fact that D&D has a messed-up economy.

Thrawn183
2008-02-23, 01:03 PM
I'd totally go with a pseudodragon. Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 10, I'd definitely get along with the thing. Most importantly it has 60 ft. telepathy. That telepathy would be so useful it almost isn't even funny, but it is. MWahahaha.

Halna LeGavilk
2008-02-24, 12:14 AM
Ditto!
I was thinking I was gonna be the lucky first to mention a dragon...but hey I would totally want a dragon familiar

It wouldn't be too hard! Just gotta get Epic levels!

Talic
2008-02-24, 12:32 AM
Heck no! I'm a low level expert! That kinda XP hit is brutal on us.

EDIT: I don't wanna lose a level cause someone kicked my cat.

Jayngfet
2008-02-24, 03:28 AM
I'd kill for a cat familiar, and hey, If I take some levels in transmutation wizard I can polymorph it into catgirl and rent it out to depraved nerds, it'd hate me but the money would subdue it.

ZeroNumerous
2008-02-24, 03:47 AM
See.. I'd just get an Imp familiar. Dogs? Cats? Floating rocks? Pfft. My familiar corrupts wayward souls. :smallamused:

Collin152
2008-02-24, 07:03 PM
I'd kill for a cat familiar, and hey, If I take some levels in transmutation wizard I can polymorph it into catgirl and rent it out to depraved nerds, it'd hate me but the money would subdue it.

At the point where you could do that, any familiar would work.

Orzel
2008-02-24, 07:55 PM
I'll take a animal companion instead. An eagle.

Or a shark (or motorcycle contruct)mount.

but if I have to pick a famialar, raven or owl.

The Professor
2008-02-25, 02:45 AM
See.. I'd just get an Imp familiar. Dogs? Cats? Floating rocks? Pfft. My familiar corrupts wayward souls. :smallamused:

Fah! Beaten to it!

The other perks, are obviously its immunity to almost everything the world can dish out to it. DR/Good or Silver is hard to come by, and it has Fast Healing. Think you'll get weird looks? It has Invisibility at will. AtomicKitKat? It can Alter Self. :smallamused:

AtomicKitKat
2008-02-25, 12:41 PM
Fah! Beaten to it!

The other perks, are obviously its immunity to almost everything the world can dish out to it. DR/Good or Silver is hard to come by, and it has Fast Healing. Think you'll get weird looks? It has Invisibility at will. AtomicKitKat? It can Alter Self. :smallamused:

All of that is good except for the DR part. Blessed Crucifixes.:smalleek:

Collin152
2008-02-25, 07:03 PM
All of that is good except for the DR part. Blessed Crucifixes.:smalleek:

Cause people are always swinging those around in the air.

DarknessLord
2008-02-25, 09:33 PM
I’d want a dog, it may not be SRD, but I’d take a feat or something if that was needed, but yeah, I like dogs and frankly if I was a spell caster it would be a dog.

If I was to pick a familiar from the regular list it’d be a Lizard or a Hawk, maybe like a gecko so it could fit in my pocket.

Jayngfet
2008-02-25, 10:12 PM
At the point where you could do that, any familiar would work.

yeah but cats are easy to hide, normal enough to not need an explanation if cought, and since I'm chaotic neutral on a good day I could prolly find some good uses for move silently.