Endeavour: Scifi story, constructive criticism welcome

[eurastracan]

Hello there!

I have written a story for you...no i've written it because i enjoy writing to be honest, but i want to share it with you and gain your opinions on a youthful tale.

Since it weighs in at 20pages, i can't sanely paste the whole thing into lots of posts, so here's a PDF with it all contained in one file for you

http://www.mediafire.com/?i32mzycfmyo

thanks in advance


P.S. Also, a friend and i have set up a website (since we've planned to continue this 'series' as you will) which i'd love to see people visit, currently it's empty and needs a lot of work but more/some members are welcome. Eurastracan.spruz.com is the address if you're interested.

[Maulrus]

I'm about four pages in, and so far I give it an eight out of ten. It's pretty solid, though the writing gets pretty awkward sometimes. It's a little bit pretentious, but not that badly. I'll continue reading and update when I'm done.

[Szilard]

I just got around toreading it, I thought it was good. I egarly await the "Life as we know it."

[eurastracan]

Thank you so much for the feedback so far, i'm really very grateful.

I'm still fascinated to hear other people's opinions though, see any additional feedback would be highly welcomed