Worst Fan-Fic EVAR! [Archive] - Giant in the Playground Forums

Shas aia Toriia

2008-03-30, 09:20 AM

So, after I watched this (http://www.halolz.com/?p=612) piece of trash, I was laughing so hard at how bad these things can be, I wondered if anybody else had read something so bad it became funny, or was just plain bad.
The sequel is right here (http://www.halolz.com/?s=half+life+full), and is the one on top.

This is not the origianal, which is over here (http://http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2945837/1...). The animations were for humorous intents only. The actual story, was not.

This (http://fanficofthelegendary.ytmnd.com/) is a Halo one by the same guy, but lacking the animation.

Player_Zero

2008-03-30, 10:00 AM

If that wasn't set up then this is indeed a dark day for humanity. However, I am of the opinion that it was. I mean, an eight year old with no thumbs could feasibly write better. To be that bad you'd have to be good at making it bad, ya?

Anywho, it's still quite funny.

Tempest Fennac

2008-03-30, 10:00 AM

I thought that was quite funny. Ghost Squad for the Wii makes me laugh due to how bad it is: The Commander (who gives you instructions) is as useful as Peppy Hare in Lylat Wars, the terrorists don't have any motives for doing what they do, the level 1 boss is named Alex Havoc, and the enemies are even less intimidating then my avatar (hence the line "Oh no, what happened? We've got company" at the start of level 1) and the terrorists seem to be unable to hear your guns during firefights (or for that matter, any weapons which are fired outside their line of sight), and they fail to see helicopters hovering over their base. It's really hard to believe that the game is supposed to be serious.

Brickwall

2008-03-30, 10:09 AM

That had me in tears from laughter. I especially liked the rolleyes LOLface over Gorden [sic] near the end. The Half-Life physics engine definitely made that better.

Copacetic

2008-03-30, 10:23 AM

That was horrifcally bad. "And Jon Freeman walked away real fast" had me banging my head agasin't the wall. What, you can't use the word "run"?

P.S. Should't this be in media?

Volug

2008-03-30, 10:29 AM

I've seen that before.

It's not a Fan-Fic (in a way) Actually, I quote

Retarded Fan Fiction by: squirrelking

It WAS purposely made for HUMOR. So everything was intirely on purpose.

This (http://youtube.com/user/Djy1991) is the guy that made it. He also made a second one.

And it is funny:smalltongue:

Actually, I belive I am possibly wrong... >_>
Ignore this...?

Flickerdart

2008-03-30, 10:36 AM

Worst? Surely you mean BEST!

Also, this video was not made by the same guy who wrote the fanfic. Several other animations (Flash-based, this time) have also been done, and some surpass the Half-Life engine one.

The "writer" of this piece of trash also made a number of other aberrations including one for Metal Gear Solid (featuring "Jake Snake", the kid seems to have a penchant for the main PC's relatives) that has also been animated and YouTube'd. A number of his other "works" have not been animated, and are on his account in whatever terrible realm houses these.

Sean92k

2008-03-30, 11:03 AM

Reminiscent of this (http://s90.photobucket.com/albums/k249/sean92k/?action=view&current=Hefoundaway.png), no? :smallamused:

InaVegt

2008-03-30, 11:09 AM

Shas aia Toriia

2008-03-30, 11:21 AM

Just for clarification, the animator didn't write that piece of garbage, which was originally not intended for humour. The animation was.

This (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2945837/1...) is the original piece.

Cobra_Ikari

2008-03-30, 11:26 AM

You can also read the adventures of Rain Strife, Jake Snake, and Joe Chief!

...I like how the author treats code names as if they were given names. Wh names their kid Solid? Or Master?

Sensate

2008-03-30, 11:43 AM

Wait, so the consensus is that this "fan fic" is a pun right? No one could possibly be such a terrible writer - I bet 90% of english-speaking people could write a better story than that in a minute if they only typed it out without pausing for breath.

As for the animation, that is a superb piece of work. It's actually funny enough to make you laugh, for real, and boy have I had a quality laugh. Perhaps it's a pity that such a smooth animation is shadowed by humor, which is just amazing.

Jibar

2008-03-30, 11:46 AM

...I like how the author treats code names as if they were given names. Who names their kid Solid? Or Master?

Yeah... heh... who would do such a thing...

*Goes to change plans*

Cobra_Ikari

2008-03-30, 11:54 AM

Yeah... heh... who would do such a thing...

*Goes to change plans*

<3, you cute little muffin, you. *hugs*

SurlySeraph

2008-03-30, 12:54 PM

I've seen worse. There was this Halo fan-fic I saw that was little more than listing things that had been announced to be in Halo 2 at that point. There was one line that was something like "The Marine said Master Chief take this ATV! You can drive it and put your gun on the handlebars to shoot!" Except that the spelling and punctuation was all incorrect.

Shraik

2008-03-30, 01:49 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9UEV-b2Ws4

Best Fanfilm ever without a doubt in the eyes of god that is completely amazing and that I love like a mother loves a child ebcause it is that fan-farking-tastic

Emperor Ing

2008-03-30, 02:34 PM

So, after I watched this (http://www.halolz.com/?p=612) piece of trash, I was laughing so hard at how bad these things can be, I wondered if anybody else had read something so bad it became funny, or was just plain bad.

This is not the origianal, which is over here (http://http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2945837/1...). This was for humorous intents only.

lolz the entire vid :smallbiggrin:

FoE

2008-03-30, 02:58 PM

i cant give you my lisense officer because you are headcrab zombie! :smalltongue:

Thiel

2008-03-30, 03:35 PM

Raging Gene Ray

2008-03-30, 04:04 PM

You know how it asks "To be Continued???" at the end?

Well, it was...here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8yHguvYYyQ&NR).

And they called me incomprehensible.

thubby

2008-03-30, 04:21 PM

*clicks link* 0,0
*rofl*

Gaelbert

2008-03-30, 05:34 PM

To be continued, again?!
This guy needs to find better stuff to do than scare off innocent fan fic readers.:smallamused:

Muz

2008-03-30, 06:05 PM

And the pants were dead.

I HATE when that happens. :smallbiggrin:

13_CBS

2008-03-30, 06:05 PM

Halo: Halos in Space could give this fanfic a run for its money. (http://fanficofthelegendary.ytmnd.com/)

Da Beast

2008-03-30, 06:40 PM

:smalleek: What was that?I think I blew out my brain reading that. I'm going to go weep for the future of humanity.

Em Blackleaf

2008-03-30, 07:15 PM

I'm... speechless. That was the most horrible and hilarious thing I've ever seen. I was laughing the whole time with the urge to correct all of the grammar. I will say it's mostly hilarious, because it's making fun of bad grammar.

I like the sequel too. "The pants were dead." :smalltongue:

And the Halo: Halos in Space... Is that written by the same person? It's painful to look at, but the narration makes it really funny. "fo tight." Haha. :smallbiggrin:

Shas aia Toriia

2008-03-30, 07:59 PM

Halo: Halos in Space could give this fanfic a run for its money. (http://fanficofthelegendary.ytmnd.com/)

Until you realize they're made by the same person.

Lilly

2008-03-30, 08:07 PM

This cannot possibly be worse than 'Agony in Pink'.

Anyone wishing to retain their sanity should stay clear from it.

In case you still want to read it, keep a barrel of acid ready to soak your brain in.

I agree, nobody here must have ever read Celebrain. That one requires bleach and a spork.

Raiser Blade

2008-03-30, 08:42 PM

i cant give you my lisense officer because you are headcrab zombie! :smalltongue:

Next time I get pulled over... :smalltongue:

Jae

2008-03-30, 09:05 PM

You have no friggen idea how hard I laughed. My eyes are seriously watering.

"AND THEN HE SHOT A ROCKET AT HIM BECAUSE THAT WAS HIS WEAKNESS!!"

"HE WALKED AT THE SPEED OF LIGHTENING!"

"He buried the bosses under the ground and planted pants on them so now there was pretty things there now to be happy"

Raging Gene Ray

2008-03-30, 09:43 PM

Does anybody remember a legendarily bad Evangelion fanfiction I was shown many years ago entitled 'Hellstorm Evangelion'? I googled it and can only find versions filled with MST3K style comments. Which wouldn't be too bad if they weren't all in-jokes that only made sesne to a small group of fanfiction enthusiasts at the time.

It was by Issei Mataloun, the squirrelking of his day...only less literate, more on the sex and violence, and a Marty Stu of Biblical proportions.

More highlights from Full Life Consequences 2:

John Freeman jumped fast off the motorcycle and landed on dead peoples hands.
"Gordon Freeman is now these hands."

John Freeman shot and tree fell down in front of him. John Freeman seen eggs fall out of the tree and he put them back home safe.

"These birds dont have to see Gordon Freeman yet. its not time." John Freeman said to him.

Gordon Freeman standed up and said "John Freeman... you got here slow and now i am zombie goast. you will pay..."

FoE

2008-03-30, 10:55 PM

If they're brothers, why do they keep calling each other by their last name? Did they pick up that habit from their mother? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8yHguvYYyQ&NR)

Sneak

2008-03-30, 11:38 PM

...I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Both, I guess.

I wish I could believe that the original fanfic was supposed to be a joke.

Blayze

2008-03-31, 10:15 AM

I didn't want to have to remember it, but such a topic demands that it be mentioned. I discovered an Inuyasha fic ages ago that was centered around a fertility orgy in Kaede's village.

"Highlights" included Kaede (An old woman, for those who don't know) having sex with a tree-man-thing, various other scenes (Especially at/near the end) that were bad, and at least two sequels that I saw links to.

It didn't help that it was an abuse of the English language from start to finish.

Sensate

2008-03-31, 10:57 AM

I wish I could believe that the original fanfic was supposed to be a joke.

I wish for the opposite actually - if I think of it as a joke, it's not that fun anymore. This fanfic is special because you can tell that in a way, the author was trying, and is not a stranger to English as much as he is a complete failure and nearly illiterate. :smalltongue:

Tengu

2008-03-31, 11:20 AM

Could have been worse - at least there were no yaoi scenes.

If you don't know what yaoi is, ask wikipedia. Do not ask google.

St.Sinner

2008-03-31, 01:42 PM

That was just hilarious, both the first and the sequel. I haven't laughed this hard at a video in a long time. I find it hard to believe that the fanfic wasn't written as an intentional joke though. I mean, surely, surely it must be a joke?

Bor the Barbarian Monk

2008-03-31, 02:01 PM

Okay...I have seen the writing and the video, and...ummm...well, while I was torn between laughing and weeping for the future of humanity, I leaned closer to weeping...

Until I read the rumors that it was purposely written badly. Now I was utterly surprised. Do ANY of you have a clue as to how difficult it is to purposely write THAT poorly? Bad grammar, run-on sentences, lack of punctuation and capitalization, weak plot, poor descriptions, dialogue designed to make brain cells commit suicide...

IT'S PURE GENIUS! :smallbiggrin:

The sad part is that this is likely designed to make fun of actual stories written like this. Coming from the mind of a five-year-old, it could be excused. If such fan-fic is written by an adult...NOW we have real reason to weep.