Primal Fury
2008-04-13, 06:10 PM
I've been working on an intro for an NPC, they could be an ally, or even a PC if i feel so inclined. and if i tweak a few things, they could even be a BBEG.
So tell me what you think:
After about half an hour of waiting, the bartender finally brings your drink. It’s cool and good. All of a sudden, you fill an unnatural chill run up and down your spine. You can tell that just about everyone in the tavern can feel the same thing. You look around to see what could be causing such a sensation. You see a young, attractive nun standing in the doorway. She has a confident, almost arrogant grin on her face. She’s looking directly at you with eyes full of primal hunger. She walks across the room in a way befitting her apparent position. It doesn’t seem like anyone wants to get too close to her, moving themselves, even chairs and tables out of her way. You try and act like you didn't notice her, hoping you’re not the one she’s looking for. She takes a seat next to you and waits for you to look at her. When she realizes that you won’t, she sighs, leans over, and whispers in your ear with a voice that is playful, yet somehow ominous: “Have you heard the good news?” You suddenly wish you had stopped at the next town over.
Well?
EDIT: oh and before you ask, no, i'm not going to tell you what it is, this is just a generic intro i'd like to have evaluated. Thank you.
So tell me what you think:
After about half an hour of waiting, the bartender finally brings your drink. It’s cool and good. All of a sudden, you fill an unnatural chill run up and down your spine. You can tell that just about everyone in the tavern can feel the same thing. You look around to see what could be causing such a sensation. You see a young, attractive nun standing in the doorway. She has a confident, almost arrogant grin on her face. She’s looking directly at you with eyes full of primal hunger. She walks across the room in a way befitting her apparent position. It doesn’t seem like anyone wants to get too close to her, moving themselves, even chairs and tables out of her way. You try and act like you didn't notice her, hoping you’re not the one she’s looking for. She takes a seat next to you and waits for you to look at her. When she realizes that you won’t, she sighs, leans over, and whispers in your ear with a voice that is playful, yet somehow ominous: “Have you heard the good news?” You suddenly wish you had stopped at the next town over.
Well?
EDIT: oh and before you ask, no, i'm not going to tell you what it is, this is just a generic intro i'd like to have evaluated. Thank you.