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Debihuman
2008-04-20, 12:10 AM
This started as a joke on the Wizard's site about worshipping shoes and to prove a point I made up this class. I thought I'd share it here. For amusement purposes only.


Acolyte of the Blessed Imelda Marcos, Patron Saint of Footwear
[Colloquially known as either the Fashionista (if female) or Metrosexual (if male)]

“I’ll take a pair in every color.”

Requirements
Spellcasting: Ability to cast 3rd level Divine Spells
Attribute: Must have a Charisma of 12+
Alignment: Any non-evil
Special: Cannot take a vow of poverty

Hit Die: d6

Acolyte of the Blessed Imelda Marcos, Patron Saint of Shoes
{table=head]Level|Base Attack Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special|Spells

1st|
+0|
+0|
+0|
+2|Never Pay Retail, Shoe Fetish, Wealth Domain*|+1 level of existing spellcasting class

2nd|
+1|
+0|
+0|
+3|Bigger, Better, Faster, More|+1 level of existing spellcasting class

3rd|
+1|
+1|
+1|
+3|The Shoes Make the Man (or Woman)|+1 level of existing spellcasting class

4th|
+2|
+1|
+1|
+4|You Look Marvelous|+1 level of existing spellcasting class

5th|
+2|
+1|
+1|
+4|Never Let Them See You Sweat|+1 level of existing spellcasting class[/table]
*From The Spell Compendium

Class Skills: Appraise (Int), Bluff (Cha), Concentration (Con), Disguise (Cha), Diplomacy (Cha), Intimidate (Cha), Knowledge (Religion) (Int) and Sense Motive (Wis) are class skills for Acolytes of the Blessed Imelda Marcos.

Skill Points at Each Level: 2 + Int modifier.

Never Pay Retail (Ex): With your keen fashion sense, you gain a +2 bonus to appraise any wearable item and +1 bonus to Diplomacy checks to any one who is trying to sell items (innkeepers, shopkeepers, etc.).

Shoe Fetish (Ex): You are unable to resist buying a pair of shoes and will go to great lengths to obtain the perfect footwear. You gain a +2 bonus on Concentration checks but take a -1 penalty on Spot and Listen checks.

Bigger, Better, Faster, More (Sp): You are very competitive by nature and expect the best of everything. You gain the benefit of eagle’s splendor once a day.

The Shoes Make The Man (Or Woman) (Sp): While you are unable to resist buying a shoe and will go to great lengths to obtain the perfect footwear, any shoes on your feet become impervious to wear and dirt. Since cleanliness is next to godliness, you gain bless 3/times a day as a spell-like ability.

You Look Marvelous (Sp): It’s just as important to look good as it is to feel good. You gain a +1 morale bonus to Intimidate checks.

Never Let Them See You Sweat (Su): You are immune to Fear effects.

NEW FEATS

The Devil Wears Prada [General]
Prerequisite: Must be an Acolyte of Blessed Imelda Marcos
Benefit: You gain a +2 Attack Bonus and a +2 Armor Class bonus when fighting evil outsiders.

These Boots Were Made For Walking [General]
Prerequisite: Must be an Acolyte of Blessed Imelda Marcos
Normal: You can walk 8 hours a day
Benefit: You can walk an extra 4 hours a day before needing to make a Constitution check (see rules on Forced March).

It's ALL About the Shoes

Shoes of Protection and Teleportation
These slippers offer +2 protection from evil, but the only place you can teleport is home. They come in either Silver or Ruby. [The masculine versons come in attractive gun-metal gray and maroon snake-skin leather.]
Moderate Conjuration; CL 6th; Craft Wondrous Item, protection from evil, teleport; Price 2,500 GP, Weight 1 lb.

Boots of Fascination
Any member of the opposite sex who see these must make a Will save (DC 20) or be fascinated for 1d4 rounds. Any member of the same sex is envious that you have great shoes and will ask where you got them.
Faint Enchantment; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, hypnotism, Price 100, GP Weight 3 lbs.

Bunny Sippers of Warmth
These are especially coveted by the Fashionista who likes creature comforts. Usually they come in pink or white, but also can be found as Bear Slippers of Warmth for the discerning male Acolyte [known colloquially as the Metrosexual]. These slippers give a +2 bonus to Saving throws against cold-based effects.
Faint Abjuration; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, endure elements; Price 500 GP, Weight 1 lb.

Cursed Rubber Galoshes of Practicality
These are thoroughly practical galoshes, completely rainproof, but anyone wearing them must take a -2 penalty to all Charisma based checks. No respectable Fascinista would be caught dead in a pair of these. However, once donned they are impossible to remove without a remove curse spell. Once the curse is removed, the boots remain practical but will eventually wear out and become leaky.
Faint Necromancy; CL 3rd, Craft Wondrous Item, bestow curse, mending; Price 400 GP, Weight 1 lb.

Hippie sandals
Hippie sandals give you a +2 bonus on Diplomacy checks when dealing with Fey creatures. Dwarves traditionally think they look better with socks but a real Fashionista knows that sandals should never be worn with socks. Wearing socks lowers the bonus to only +1.
Faint Enchantment; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item; good hope; Price 200 GP, Weight 2 lbs.

Stiletto Shoes of Salsa Dancing
These open-toed shoes come in variety of colors, with or without sequins. In either case, the heels add 3-5 inches of height to the wearer. These strappy shoes look deceptively fragile, but have a steel bar supporting the heel. They add +2 to Perform (Dance) and add 5 feet to the speed of anyone wearing them. As a last resort, the wearer can remove a shoe and use it as a weapon. The heel does 1d3 points of piercing damage. The shoe may be thrown and has a 10-foot range.
Moderate Transmutation; CL 6, Craft Wondrous Item; cat's grace, haste; Cost 8,000 GP Weight 2 lbs.


Cowboy Boots of Foot Stomping and Butt Kicking
While there are a few male Acolytes of the Blessed Imelda Marcos who are secure in their masculinity to wear stilettos, most prefer the Cowboy Boots of Foot Stomping and Butt Kicking. They add +1 to Perform (Dance) and +1 to Tumble. They need not be removed to be used as a weapon. The boots add 1d4 points of bludgeoning damage to any kick made by the wearer.
Moderate Transmutation; CL 6, Craft Wondrous Item; cat's grace, haste; Cost 8,000 GP Weight 4 lbs.


I hope you at least got a chuckle out of this.

Debby

SurlySeraph
2008-04-20, 03:28 PM
*twitches*

This is the most terrifying concept for a PrC that I have ever seen. At least it's not Tyra Banks...

Bhu
2008-04-21, 12:23 AM
I laughed. Thumbs up from kitty!

Bisected8
2008-04-21, 04:09 AM
I just felt a chill down my spine as if soemthing horrible recently entered the world....

belboz
2008-04-21, 07:49 PM
Very entertaining, although I do not understand the alignment restriction at all.

arkanis
2008-04-21, 08:36 PM
Part of my soul just died...

Debihuman
2008-04-22, 12:11 AM
Very entertaining, although I do not understand the alignment restriction at all.

"Greed is good,"
-- Gordon Gecko, Wall Street

They can be Lawful Good, Lawful Neutral, True Neutral, Neutral Good, Chaotic Neutral [which I left out earlier good catch] amd Chaotic Good. They simply can't be an alignment with an evil descriptor. Saying "any non-evil" is a lot simpler. [ Seeing as how I left out Chaotic Neutral my point is made]

I should probably give them magic items too...so here they are. If anyone has a clue as to how to price these please let me know.

Shoes of Protection and Teleportation
These slippers offer +2 protection from evil, but the only place you can teleport is home. They come in either Silver or Ruby. [The masculine versons come in attractive gun-metal gray and maroon snake-skin leather.]
Moderate Conjuration; CL 6th; Craft Wondrous Item, protection from evil, teleport; Price 2,500 GP, Weight 1 lb.

Boots of Fascination
Any member of the opposite sex who see these must make a Will save (DC 20) or be fascinated for 1d4 rounds. Any member of the same sex is envious that you have great shoes and will ask where you got them.
Faint Enchantment; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, hypnotism, Price 100, GP Weight 3 lbs.

Bunny Sippers of Warmth
These are especially coveted by the Fashionista who likes creature comforts. Usually they come in pink or white, but also can be found as Bear Slippers of Warmth for the discerning male Acolyte [known colloquially as the Metrosexual]. These slippers give a +2 bonus to Saving throws against cold-based effects.
Faint Abjuration; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, endure elements; Price 500 GP, Weight 1 lb.

Cursed Rubber Galoshes of Practicality
These are thoroughly practical galoshes, completely rainproof, but anyone wearing them must take a -2 penalty to all Charisma based checks. No respectable Fascinista would be caught dead in a pair of these. However, once donned they are impossible to remove without a remove curse spell. Once the curse is removed, the boots remain practical but will eventually wear out and become leaky.
Faint Necromancy; CL 3rd, Craft Wondrous Item, bestow curse, mending; Price 400 GP, Weight 1 lb.

Hippy sandals
Hippy sandals give you a +2 bonus on Diplomacy checks when dealing with Fey creatures. Dwarves traditionally think they look better with socks but a real Fashionista knows that sandals should never be worn with socks. Wearing socks lowers the bonus to only +1.
Faint Enchantment; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item; good hope; Price 200 GP, Weight 2 lbs.

Debby

Debihuman
2008-04-22, 02:29 AM
Part of my soul just died...

"Stop being so melodramatic..don't make me come over there...and for pete's sake, shut the door--were you raised in a barn?"

Next.

Debby

Defiant Element
2008-04-22, 09:21 AM
Shouldn't the first ability be: "Never Pay Retail"? Also, I think belboz may have meant that he didn't understand why their alignment should be restricted, not the actual nature of the restriction.

DracoDei
2008-04-22, 10:22 AM
They can be Lawful Good, Lawful Neutral, True Neutral, Neutral Good and Chaotic Good. They simply can't be an alignment with an evil descriptor. Saying "any non-evil" is a lot simpler.

It only emphasizes the complexity that you forgot Chaotic Neutral.



Shoes of Protection and Teleportation
These slippers offer +2 protection from evil, but the only place you can teleport is home. They come in either Silver or Ruby. [The masculine versons come in attractive gun-metal gray and maroon snake-skin leather.]
Moderate Conjuration; CL 6th; Craft Wondrous Item, protection from evil, teleport; Price? Weight 1 lb.


Yay for remembering that the original ones were silver! In fact "The Wizard of Oz" was a political statement in favor of the addition of silver backed currency to the gold-only system of the time. This would have increased inflation, which would have made it easier for farmers to pay back their loans.

Debihuman
2008-04-22, 11:18 AM
Shouldn't the first ability be: "Never Pay Retail"? Also, I think belboz may have meant that he didn't understand why their alignment should be restricted, not the actual nature of the restriction.

Yes, it should be "Never Pay Retail" -- my bad. I've fixed it.

Also, this is based on Imelda Marcos (who at least was acquitted) unlike Leona Helmsley, "The Queen of Mean". Leona's acolytes would be evil. Imelda's are not, but they can be any other alignment. I didn't see the point of restricting it further. A lawful good Paladin following Imelda would want the best and shiniest armor, the best horse, etc.

One restriction would be that they cannot take a vow of poverty. It's too anti-Imelda. I'm going to add that somewhere....

I thought my quote from the movie Wall Street explained it but apparently not, too obsure probably.


Thanks everyone for the feedback (even you arkanis).

Debby

belboz
2008-04-22, 01:12 PM
Also, I think belboz may have meant that he didn't understand why their alignment should be restricted, not the actual nature of the restriction.

This is, in fact, correct. Legal technicalities, say I. :smallwink:

Dallas-Dakota
2008-04-22, 01:33 PM
Dwarves never, ever, wear sandals, they don´t say/think you should wear them with socks, they think you shoulnd´t wear them at all.
Also a suggestion :
at :
1st level : +5 feet per round added to base speed.
3rd level : +10 feet per round added to base speed.
5th level : +15 feet per round added to base speed.

After all, its all about footwear...

lord of kobolds
2008-04-22, 01:48 PM
Yipyap Not Want Shoes!!

mikeejimbo
2008-04-22, 04:56 PM
I suppose you could call those feats "Feet feats"

Collin152
2008-04-22, 05:49 PM
Damn I want to buy some new shoes now.

Hawriel
2008-04-22, 06:08 PM
No special ability regarding stileto heals? Shoe fetished adventurer on the go must have stileto heals to fight, climb, dance, run, tumble, and ride in.

This makes me wonder. Is there no complementary handbag/purce weapon master?

Debihuman
2008-04-22, 09:42 PM
No special ability regarding stileto heals? Shoe fetished adventurer on the go must have stileto heals to fight, climb, dance, run, tumble, and ride in.

This makes me wonder. Is there no complementary handbag/purce weapon master?

Well as much as I love a good pairs of heels myself, they are not exactly appropriate for climbing and tumbling.

Stiletto Shoes of Salsa Dancing
These open-toed shoes come in variety of colors, with or without sequins. In either case, the heels add 3-5 inches of height to the wearer. These strappy shoes look deceptively fragile, but have a steel bar supporting the heel. They add +2 to Perform (Dance) and add 5 feet to the speed of anyone wearing them. As a last resort, the wearer can remove a shoe and use it as a weapon. The heel does 1d3 points of piercing damage. The shoe may be thrown and has a 10-foot range.
Moderate Transmutation; CL 6, Craft Wondrous Item; cat's grace, haste; Cost 8,000 GP Weight 2 lbs.


Cowboy Boots of Foot Stomping and Butt Kicking
While there are a few male Acolytes of the Blessed Imelda Marcos who are secure in their masculinity to wear stilettos, most prefer the Cowboy Boots of Foot Stomping and Butt Kicking. They add +1 to Perform (Dance) and +1 to Tumble. They need not be removed to be used as a weapon. The boots add 1d4 points of bludgeoning damage to any kick made by the wearer.
Moderate Transmutation; CL 6, Craft Wondrous Item; cat's grace, haste; Cost 8,000 GP Weight 4 lbs.

I completely guessed on the pricing of these items.

Debby

Debihuman
2008-04-22, 10:21 PM
Dwarves never, ever, wear sandals, they don´t say/think you should wear them with socks, they think you shoulnd´t wear them at all.
Also a suggestion :
at :
1st level : +5 feet per round added to base speed.
3rd level : +10 feet per round added to base speed.
5th level : +15 feet per round added to base speed.

After all, its all about footwear...

Well, your dwarves may not wear socks with sandals, but all the dwarves in my world do. They invented golf too. You should see the pants (Oy!).
Dwarven fashion sense is an acquired taste.

If you want to add speed, you need to add haste as a prerequisite and that adds to the cost. If you start adding too many qualities, you end up with a minor item that is outragously expensive for the effects.

Debby

Debihuman
2008-04-22, 10:27 PM
Yipyap Not Want Shoes!!

I agree. Yipyap look silly in shoes. Kobolds have clown feet. However, a good pedicure would probably wouldn't hurt.


http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MM35_gallery/MM35_PG161b.jpg