I may have lost the money, but at least I can publically make a fool of myself

[faerwain]

Stupidity Award 2008.
On the slight chance that somebody thinks I'm a person with rudimentary intelligence - go play something at SMBG. Now. Keep your illusions.

For the rest: I have to get up in a few hours, but here I sit, hoping that the next day will ignore me when I ignore it. Short recap of the events: I had this colleague last year. He once presented me with an official document from the town, threatening actually to arrest him because of outstanding money from a traffic delict. Now, we both had the same lousy personal leasing contracts at this time(btw: congratulate me, my recent contract has been prolonged, another year with a real good wage is safe), so I could understand his problems. Short, I helped him out. Some time later, his little son went very sick. That part is real, as I overheard how he left work to go to the hospital, and when I took a ride with him later, it was obvious he really had not slept for a long time. So, too keep it short, you all understand it, I had pity. And helped him out. Several times. Money summed up to a considerable sum. But at least I got some imaginative stories when I will get my money. (Next week when the wage comes- next month when we sell our life insurance- next week when we get a credit). But at least he had the money for his effing soccer betting.

Then he got a job somewhere else(read: our company kicked him out), and besides having my number and knowing where I live, he plays dead, of course. I have other problems besides financial ones, call myself an idiot and put the thing to grave. Then, later, I get the info that he had scammed some other colleagues too, money and goods, and they went to the police. I join the whole thing. Imagine that one: Before filing a report, the officer calls him, informing that his colleagues are sitting in his office, and if he sees a chance to pay the money back before they do a report. He admits everything, promises -to a police officer that he will give at least the one he only owes 20 bucks and 5 CDs his stuff back until tomorrow and contact the other ones. Of course nothing happens.

So, after long time, tomorrow I have to appear at the court. While I don't see any chance to get my money back(the only proof I have is one SMS where he asks for more money and promises a payback the next week), at least he may get an ass-kicking, as he not only already admitted to the police as far as I know, he actually has a criminal record and was already deported from Germany once!!(Don't ask me where he got his work permit for the second stay).

But let's see in detail why tomorrow makes me freak out:

I have more than two brain cells. I should've known better than to lend money to a stranger several times.
I am a trained office clerk. I should have learned not to give money several times without written proof.
I had law lessons at the university. I should have learned not to give money several times without written proof, dang it!!

I have strong indications that the whole company knows our embarrasing story.
The file report was nearly one year ago, and even there I had problems to give precise dates and could only sum up the whole money and estimate the small portions. I don't really freaking remember what I actually said to the police then, for crying out loud!
My neighbour, who uses my washing machine, has damaged the door of it, and every time I use it it gets more damage, so I don't really wash at the moment.
And, as being common with me when frustrated, I haven't cared for myself today and will get up late tomorrow( which is in 3 hours) and have to rush.

Soooo....Tomorrow, I will sit unshaved, sleepy, with dirty clothes, before a judge, will not remember what I told the police, will claim a sum I cannot prove, will get comments about my stupidity from the judge, all of this in front of a person I didn't want to meet anymore and people who I will see daily at work, and when I embarrassed myself enough, I will go back to work to get everybody asking how it went.

That was my rant. Thanks for the patience.

Kids, never do what the Faerwain has done...use that damn thing in your head.

[BRC]

I don't think your stupid. This was a person you knew, a Co-Worker in fact, not a nigerian prince who E-Mailed you. Usually people like that can be somewhat trustworthy, people who you can count on seeing every day for quite a while. Now, you proably shouldn't have continued lending him money, but your actions were not the actions of a stupid person, just a trusting one.

[Pyrian]

I don't think it's nearly as important that you "win the case" per se as that you add your voice to the chorus of people he's scammed. One on one, it's just one word against another, but when it becomes his word against lots of different people, well, that's a whole different story...

[Syka]

I'm with Commie, it was a co-worker. You would think you could trust your coworker. It's not like you fell for, as he put it, the Nigerian Prince scam. This was someone who you knew and knew was having problems.

Just learn. That's all you really can do.

Cheers,
Syka

[Mr. Moon]

*points at the posters above me* What they said.

Good luck, man. Try to get some sleep, you'll need it.

[wojonatior]

its not that bad i mean every one has them really stupid zone out moments and some are just at worse times. i mean usually once a week or so i cant remember a word like milk or computer and also all of those other times when im halfway through saying something and forget what the rest is. plus hopefully you will get to put a criminal to jail

[thubby]

this is why i never loan out more than $20.

[dish]

It sounds ghastly, and I can totally understand why you want to forget about the court-case, write the money off, and just ignore it all.

But think, you're helping the police and the judge to actually do something positive, and, possibly, stop this happening to anyone else.

(Actually, considering the time now, you've probably already left. I hope someone lent you a clean shirt!)

[faerwain]

Oomph. Back and absolutely tired, as I went to work right after the trial.

All of you, thanks a lot for for your kind and understanding words, I really appreciated every post. You actually helped me to get calm and tone my annoyance down a little. And Bloddy, you cheered me up some extra by reminding me of the Prince of Nigeria thing...I got this via fax about ten years ago, I think the sum they promised was 20 million $ :smallbiggrin:


Good luck, man. Try to get some sleep, you'll need it. Thank you, Moon_called. And that was a good advice, if only I had followed it...

Well, how it went: I was sleepy(the coffe at the bakery was bitter like hell, but didn't work), grumpy, dirty, but actually managed to get shaved before I left. The others came later, so I was the only one in the waiting room when he arrived. He came over, shook hands and mumbled a "And, everything's allright?". Yeah, sure. We're sitting at a courtroom because I had to sue you to get my money back. What's there to not be allright?:smallconfused:
The courtroom was pretty small , I guess 40-50 sqm, but they had some interesting sounding things scheduled for today. (This afternoon's last trial is "attempt to free a prisoner").

Well, isn't it strange(and cool) how the things that really drive you up the wall go rather smoothly in the end?
Being the first trial today, the room was actually empty except of the translator(he speaks german fluently, but as they had one on the schedule everytime there was a foreign name mentioned, I guess it's just a regulation to have one at hand).
I was also the first one to be called in, so my other co-workers also weren't present. It went amazingly quickly, asking my data and informing me about my duties may have been the longest part. I was simply asked to tell how I came to give him money, what I expected and if I got something back yet. Attorney and he(he hadn' brought a lawyer) didn't have additional questions- Next!!:smallcool:

The judge also spared me with pointing out my stupidity, only when asking if I expected him to have money again in the future, you could really see his inner eyes rolling.

In the end, it turned out 3 months for fraud, suspended with a probation of 2 years. A condition of the probation is to pay back the money to us in monthly rates, starting next month.

Honestly, I was a little surprised first about the comparatively soft punishment(the attorney asked for one year), but hey, whatever the judge thinks is appropriate.
The "give him the money back" thing is the important part for me anyway :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

So, after all, it somehow turned out "much ado about nothing".
But I really needed to get that steam out of the system last night. Again, thanks to you all for showing me again why I like this place so much.


this is why i never loan out more than $20.
The path of a wise man, indeed, and I will follow it from now on.



(Actually, considering the time now, you've probably already left. I hope someone lent you a clean shirt!)

In fact, you posted nearly the exact time I was sitting before the judge. Luckily, I found a fresh sweater. The trousers, on the other hand...


P.S. Exactly when I hit the submit button, the whole street lost power...:smalleek:

[Lord Herman]

I'm glad it all worked out okay. As others have said: you're not dumb. You're just trusting, and that's nothing to be ashamed about.

[DraPrime]

P.S. Exactly when I hit the submit button, the whole street lost power...:smalleek:

oops? filler

[Skippy]

Hey, Faer, can I borrow a couple bucks? I promise I'll return them tomorrow.

Just kidding, man. Too sad someone abused your trust. That is one of the most awful things I can think about. And I understand you. I tend to trust a lot in people, too, and it has proven to be a bad thing to trust that much.

I hope things get better soon, man.

*Hugs*

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Faerwain, you are not the first person to be drawn in by a sympathy story and hand out money. Every now and again, a story pops up on the news here in the States about how someone scammed their co-workers, neighbors, entire town, etc., out of thousands of dollars. They prey upon the kindness of others, which, in the end, really irks those of us in REAL need.

I can't remember how long ago it was, but a couple started laying claim that the wife had given birth to quadruplets...or quintuplets...I dunno; she had as many kids as a fish does. :smallconfused: Anyway, the husband started telling tales at work about how hard it was to make ends meet. His co-workers started a collection and rounded up a few thousand dollars. People donated NEW baby furniture, diapers, and various other baby supplies...

And where were the mystery children? Oh, they were born premature, and were still in the hospital's premie unit. And the mother was...at home? :smallconfused:

"Darn those nosy reporters!" At least, that's what I think they must have said, as one reporter started looking into the whole thing. Sorry, but a proud parent takes pictures, even if it's of the sickly, premature children, just so they can show the kids later in life and say, "This is why you're my little miracle." Mom was home all the time, instead of sitting at the bedsides of her 4 to 10 children. (Remember? I can't recall the amount.) What really got the reporter's investigative senses going was that the hospital had no children registered under the parents' names.

So they were eventually charges with fraud, while the kindly folks that helped them out were mostly screwed. :smalleek:

Me? I'm always in need. Luckily, I found what can only be considered an EXTREMELY dear friend who has been helping me LIVE. Oddly, I tend to calculate what I need, ask for it, and I'm sent extra with a message, "Go buy some DVDs, too," or some other luxury I'm missing from life. My guilt at having become dependent on someone that isn't a family member is incredible, and I tried to avoid it at first. While we both succumbed to the circumstances, I felt the need to provide PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE of some of my problems. (Pictures of "Frankenfeet" can be seen on page 14 of the current You thread, post #411.)

The extra funds go other places, besides my pockets and my DVD shelf. I sometimes help my neighbors with food come the end of the month, when their funds are basically gone from their government checks. There's a homeless woman I see every time I step out to the market, and I ask her if there's anything I can get her from time to time. (With an Arizona summer coming at us, I'll probably be buying her a bottle of water whenever I see her.) My friend's kindness allows me to put my kindness to use. It's nice.

But I have my limits. I don't give money. And there was a time when I tried to make a similar arrangement with my friend, but it was simplest to send me cash instead of trying to get gift cards. I, however, don't give cash. There are more homeless on the streets around here, and they ask for a few cents for this or that. You can see from their bloodshot eyes that they're not hungry...they're "thirsty," and not for water. So when they claim to be hungry, I offer to buy them a little food. It's at that moment where I tend tro discover their true motives. If they're really hungry or thirsty, they ask for what they need; if they just want money, they say, "Never mind," and I'm on my way. Just a couple of weeks ago, one man asked me quite honestly for money so he could get a beer. While I was tempted to award him for his honesty, I said, "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not an enabler."

I'm babbling now, thanks to my meds. Sorry about that.

It's just...Well, I don't want you to feel bad for being human. You cared. You tried to help. You had no way of knowing you were being scammed. You and others may have labeled yourself a sucker, and that might be true...but I commend you for trying to do the right thing. And for that, you earn an extra "Be well." :smallsmile:

[faerwain]

Sorry, guys. Work is raging at the moment(Not that I'm complaining, overhours get paid), and I find myself often a little too exhausted to write more complex posts than a short line at SMBG. Yet, I do not want to ignore your nice comments.


I'm glad it all worked out okay. As others have said: you're not dumb. You're just trusting, and that's nothing to be ashamed about.
Thanks. I felt more annoyed than ashamed, actually. As you could easily tell, my nerves weren't the best that day:smallwink:

oops? filler

My thougths, exactly. :smallbiggrin:

Hey, Faer, can I borrow a couple bucks? I promise I'll return them tomorrow.

Sure, Skippy, how much do you nee...Now wait a minute!:smallfurious:

:smalltongue:


Just kidding, man. Too sad someone abused your trust. That is one of the most awful things I can think about. And I understand you. I tend to trust a lot in people, too, and it has proven to be a bad thing to trust that much.

I hope things get better soon, man.

*Hugs*
Thanks a lot. Luckily, it turned out better than expected.
You are right, betraying trust is one of the worst things, and most personality tests I have made for fun accurately agree that this is the one thing I will very hardly forgive.
Yet, it was often a mixed experience. I have been betrayed very badly by people I trusted nearly the most, but this events also made "the cavalry" of guys I trust and rely on for years rush to my aid, so keep the faith:smallwink:
There are the ones worthy of our trust.
And this guy was nobody close to me. It was annoying and damaged me financially, but didn't hurt me, so "educational experience.":smallwink:
Hey, and I got to have a trial without having to get in trouble :smallcool:


Thank you, Bor.
Sadly, there are really a lot of people who make it kind of profession to rely on compassion. Here, we have a lot of the "kneeing beggars", who just sit there without saying anything on there knees and raise hands for hours. They actually get some flak from homeless organizations, as they are often organized beggars. Your way of dealing with street people is most probably the best.
Where I maybe have been mistakeable is that I do not feel like trusting is a bad thing. Even if i wanted I doubt I could actually become non-trusting. (A little more thinking-yes). I was just very annoyed with this special situation, and where I was kicking myself was that a blind man with a cane could have tell he was a. Like bloddyredcommie hinted diplomatically, keeping giving him money was the real stupid part about it.
And I expected the whole trial to become more embarrasing for me personally, with the vague testimony I could give. That he did not employ a lawyer might have been my luck there.

I can understand your feelings. I have always been the kind who had no problems with letting a friend pay the drinks as it was clear I would pay the next time, or ask for the money for a ticket as it was the last time I could see them and was broke. (Amusing anecdote by the way: When I had once to ask friends to lend me the money for my life insurance premium, they put into the subject line of the remittance "For your life".)
But I can imagine to have rely constantly hurts your pride and your good conscience a little.

But if it helps, I can honestly assure you something, from my experience as both receiver and giver: Friends will actually take it a lot more badly if you don't call out for help in such a situation as yours. We take problems of our close ones personally, friendship is crazy that way:smallbiggrin:



I'm babbling now, thanks to my meds. Sorry about that.


No excuses, that's why we are all here :smallbiggrin::smallbiggrin:



You and others may have labeled yourself a sucker, and that [I]might be true...but I commend you for trying to do the right thing. And for that, you earn an extra "Be well." :smallsmile:

:smallredface:Thank you. I really feel honored.


Sorry, running out of English now....

[Mr. Moon]

*hugs* Glad to hear it worked out so well.

[Niasen]

Look on the bright side, your not like me. Sometimes I wonder if I am really idiotic and totally naive as in all actuallity I have never been paid back in my entire life except by one person...and he was late by 4 months and still owes me over 300 or more probably, yea thats right, and I'm not doing any interest or that petty stuff. (this is accrued over a long period of time mind you, not all at once).

I don't know why, but I'm a SUCKER for people who have problems or ask me personally for money for a good reason, and it shows many times by me taking hits at the bank. Hell I let someone borrow 2 large once cause I noticed there kids were having a rough time of it...still haven't heard from them since and they did promise to pay back and had the ABILITY to as well.

I've gotten better recently, but only just, I currently have a roommate who can't pay rent as he doesn't have a job, so I'm helping him get one and almost constantly paying for his food...but honestly HE's ok as he tries to help out and he's honestly trying (I've BEEN with him for crying out loud, job market just sucks around here). So anytime your feeling like a trusting fool, just remember I got you beat hands down as the most naive person on this freaking PLANET at times...dang, I feel like I'm a little trusting puppy or something :smallfurious:

[Uncle Festy]

It's not like you fell for, as he put it, the Nigerian Prince scam.

Wait, the Nigerian Prince thing is a scam?
... Crap.
I keed, I keed!
:smallsigh:

[Roland St. Jude]

Wait, the Nigerian Prince thing is a scam?
... Crap.
I keed, I keed!
:smallsigh:

Sadly, yes. However, you're in luck. I happen to be an expert Nigerian-prince-scam de-scammer. With my program, we can recover all of your lost funds and make sure the scammer suffers a horrible fate. Just send me a PM and we can discuss the low price of my services.

[Uncle Festy]

Sadly, yes. However, you're in luck. I happen to be an expert Nigerian-prince-scam de-scammer. With my program, we can recover all of your lost funds and make sure the scammer suffers a horrible fate. Just send me a PM and we can discuss the low price of my services.

:biggrin:
... You couldn't have cut out the white text from the quote, could have you?