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View Full Version : Greatest Moments Ever in D&D - Epic Exploits



Nuiat
2008-04-23, 10:46 AM
Hey guys. The first thing I hear from most players is how they (their character) or their team did some incredible exploit in their world. For example:

As a level 1 scout, I survived touching the highest level prismatic wall possible. My DM didn't have mercy, either: he rolled up a planer shift, then rolled to send me to Elysium (or however you spell that). I stood around enjoying the incredible scenary when the DM made mention of how contented and good I was beginning to feel. I figured he was hinting at making me make will saves (which I probably would have failed - scouts suck at that), so I took of toward a woods. My DM then proceeds to roll a random encouter (which aren't level based for some bizzare reason). I can't remember the creature, but it was an incredibly good thing. Anyways, we begin making small talk, mostly about why on earth I was their, and sometime during the conversation I decided to offer the creature taffy (I bought 30 pieces in a port town just before). The creature, having never experienced something like it, decided that it was worth trading for a plane shift. Voila, back to the real world!

So, stuff like that would be nice to hear.

Da King
2008-04-23, 11:01 AM
I killed a nightwalker pretty much single handedly as a level 8 druid. My alies did help a bit, they made excellent meatshields.

Drascin
2008-04-23, 11:32 AM
Oh, I have a lot of epic exploits, from each side of the screen.

From the player side, there was that time when Trosky, a companion's half-giant psywarrior, was knocked and kidnapped by what seemed to be a rather powerful gang. Given the game was evil, my other two companions voted to let him rot and have his player make a new sheet, and be done with it.

Problem was, my druid was not taking that crap. His wolf mentality had one single drive at the moment - one member of his pack had been hurt and trapped. There must be vengeance.

He proceeded to cause a powerful storm over the city and bomb the building with powered-up Call Lightning while on the way, gut the guards in the entrance like fish, and calmly proceed through the main corridors dispatching every soldier that came my way with ease. I was later told by the DM that the sheer badassness of the way I described Nayaire going around while lightning made stuff explode around him caused him to make every one of them shaken to begin with, so maybe that's why it was so easy.

And then, I reached the main room. There were about twenty-five people in there, and what was the local head of the gang, I assumed, sitting there in the archetypical evil overlord slouch. They let me reach almost to him before surrounding me, even. He then started talking about how this was pretty impressive, and that he had the power to give me whatever I asked if I joined, because they needed heavy hitters, and...

"You may be a queen, but you're still but an ant trying to tame a wolf." *Gang Boss is Quilblast'd in the face*

...I don't usually interrupt the DM's monologue, but this time I felt it was appropiate and necessary (plus it got me the cheers of the other players around the table :smallbiggrin:). Then, in the moment of surprise, I quick-activated my Aspect of Nature, shillelaged my staff, grinned, and looked at the guards around...

"And now, let's get this anthill exterminated"

There were no survivors. Those who tried to run were later hunted and eliminated.

I found Trosky easily after that. Then, we went out, and I used a spare scroll of Call Lightning to finish up blowing up enough load-bearing parts to have the building collapse, and localized Control Winds to destroy what debris remained, so that not even the memory of it kept existing. I was out of healing (out of almost everything, actually, twenty-five on one drains resources rather quickly) and at 4 HP, so I was bleeding profusely, but the city watch didn't even have the guts to try to arrest us.

Without a doubt, that was my most epic moment in my five years of playing D&D. I have never again been able to muster such a huge amount of badassness in a single moment, and I'm not sure I ever will.

I'll be back later, with stories of my players, who have also had more than their fair share of utterly awesome moments :smallamused:.

Da King
2008-04-23, 11:59 AM
I also tried to build a nuke and drop it on the capital city, but the DM wouldn't let me. I came so close that the DM rewinded the timeline of the campaign a couple months, erasing my access to plutonium.:smallfrown:

wodan46
2008-04-23, 12:52 PM
One of my friends mentioned a unique combat tactic, doubt I'm getting the specifics correct. Their party had confronted an enemy, I believe a mind flayer or something similar, who had laughed at the party's barbarian, and made a line about how it uses its brain to kill people, unlike the barbarian. The barbarian, in desperate straits, ripped out a section of his brain (DM rolls for damage, Barbarian survives), and throws the brain piece as an improvised weapon. It riochets and critical hits the flayer, killing it. Now THAT is killing someone with your brains.

BlackRabite
2008-04-23, 01:27 PM
I was DM'ing a fun campaign for my regular group and came up with a Kobold campaign to run them through. They were a group of all Kobolds and were chasing down a high level gnome wizard that had inadvertently stolen a Dragon Wrought kobold egg after killing most of the group that was transporting it.

This was the third session in the campaign and the kobolds were infiltrating the Wizards mansion (his mansion connected to an underground labyrinth leading to his actual lab) and had already picked up a number of "fun" magic items. They were level 5 at the time and were searching through the gnomes private study on the second floor when they found what looked like a little shrine-thing. The shrine was a memorial to the gnome wizards father who was a second edition wild mage, there was a picture there and a small book detailing the exploits that made his father famous. A small and ornate golden wand with a button on the handle was sitting on a tray inside the shrine.

The wand was created by the gnome as a tribute to his father, it was a 3/day use eternal wand of "Wild Surge" (I forgot the real name, is was a wild mage spell that automatically triggered a wild magic roll) and I had combined a bunch of wild magic tables I found together into a huge d100 random table of magical effects for the wand.

Picking up the wand triggered a magical trap and a barbed devil bound to the gnome teleported into the room with them. The kobolds won initiative and ran like nuts for the study door and out into the grand stairway. The kobold that grabbed the wand stopped short and in desperation (they didn't know what the wand did yet) pointed it back towards the door and readied an action to press the button when the devil tried to come through.

The devil came through the door on his turn, the kobold pressed the button and I randomly rolled the wand. The roll sheet worked roughly like this, there was a d100 list of abilities and each of them says either "spell succeeds" or "spell fails" and has a random magical effect tied to it. If they land on one that says "Spell Succeeds" I had a seperate list of pre-chosen spells with a single slot for randomly rolling a spell on the scroll and wand table in the DMG.

I randomly rolled a 'Spell Fails: 60 ft burst wild magic aura on caster' which means that there was no spell and a 60 foot radius burst was considered in a wild magic zone, so any spells cast in that zone had to roll on the wild magic table also. I said it looked like a heat haze has burst up around the kobold in a 60 foot area then slowly dissipated. The devil finished his action by stepping into the hallway and casting Hold Person on the kobold with the wand, he was in the wild magic zone and I rolled "Spell Failure: minor visual effect." The devils Hold Person failed and I had black smoke and weak sparks come from his hand as he tried to cast it.

The devil was only perplexed at this point, initiative rolled around to the Favored Soul kobold and he cast bless for lack of anything better to do, and they knew at this point roughly what was happening because of all the wild mage stories in the study. I rolled a "Spell Succeeds: Portal to positive energy plane." So the kobold cast bless and a 10 foot wide gateway to the positive energy plane opened in front of him bathing them all the kobolds in positive energy and giving them 6d6 temporary hitpoints. The devil seeing this amazing feat uses his turn to retreat back into the study and try to summon up some bearded devils. He succeeds on the percentile roll and gets 4 bearded devils.

The wand kobold gets line of sight through the doorway and uses the wand on the devil once more. I rolled 'Spell Succeeds, random caster level' I rolled for the spell and got greater dispel magic, the random caster level was 19 (d20) once the spell goes off he shuts the study door. So the devil had summoned 4 bearded devils to help him against kobolds that were tearing rifts into other planes and as soon as they are summoned another one sends them all back with a greater dispel at caster level 19. The devil stays on his side of the study door trying to wrap his head around whats happening while the kobolds are hatching a plan.

The favored soul moves up to the door and makes an attempt at negotiating with the devil to provide a distraction, the devil is planning his own moves and is moving towards the door so he can catch the kobold in a grapple and try to finish him off. The rest of the kobolds use a window patch from a previously gotten Robe of Many Things on the hallway and create a window into the study behind the devil. While the devil is getting into position to make a grab at the favored soul the kobolds sneak through the window. The rogue and sword-sage make readied actions to charge the devil from behind after the sorcerer performs his action. He aims the wand and hits it for the last time.

All of the rolls made in the story were rolled out on the table with no screen to hide them, this is exactly what happened. I rolled a 100 on the percentile dice and got the "roll two new effects." For those effects I rolled "Spell Succeeds: Strong Transmutation on target" and "Spell Succeeds: Maximized spell" I rolled on the random spell table and got another 100 which allowed me to roll on the random scroll table in the DMG. I then rolled high again and got ninth level spells and landed on Energy Drain. So a group of level 5 Kobolds snuck up behind a barbed devil and shot it with a maximized Energy Drain.

Technically the level loss wouldn't have been enough to kill the demon but I figured with the strong transmutation effect and the sheer odds against rolling 100 twice on a percentile dice and getting a ninth level spell that i would give it to them. So the Energy Drain hit and the Barbed Devil lets out an un-earthly wail and its life force is drained then slowly transforms into a red and black striped sock with cute little horns on top. The sword-sage put the sock on her tail and it was probably the most fun we've had at the table in a while.

Quorothorn
2008-04-23, 02:05 PM
Oodles of pure tabled win.

That...is totally awesome. Go Kobolds!

Chronos
2008-04-23, 02:16 PM
The sword-sage put the sock on her tail...Huh, I guess there is an advantage to playing a kobold. Extra fashion accessory body slot.

RTGoodman
2008-04-23, 02:22 PM
The XCrawl Campaign Setting is basically set in (sort-of) modern-day Earth, but with D&D stuff. The Roman pantheon is the major religion, the countries are divided up differently (I believe the US is actually the North American Empire or something like that), "adventures" are basically like episodes of "American Gladiators," and there's all kinds of other stuff like that. When my DM was first explaining it to us, he told us that the current ruler of the NAE is Emperor Ronald I, who we decided is a combination of Ronald Reagan and Ronald McDonald.

Two sessions ago, the DM asked us what we wanted to do for a big end-of-the-semester session, and after thinking a while we decided, being an evil party, that we wanted to take over the world. At like 5th level. At the end of that session, he told us to go ahead and just upgrade our characters to 10th level for the final session.

We arrived last night, only to find out that, with the help of some insiders in Emperor Ronald's palace, we'll have access to him. Unfortunately, we also found out that he's a nigh-epic level Bard Lich with a retinue of Clerics and Paladins, none of whom know he's actually a Lich (since he's keeping it secret until he can actually make the heads of the rest of the government his undead minions). We all got some overpowered items (I got up to like 20 scrolls of any level 5 or below, plus one 6th level scroll), the trip-master Fighter/Barbarian/Exotic Weapon Master got a magic (bludgeoning) chain, and the others (a gun-wielding Ranger and a TWF Assassin) got personalized stuff, too.

We finally get to the actual fight, expecting to be utterly destroyed, but we did so well in the first two rounds that the DM basically had to retcon the situation (Ronald was actually not in the room, but had someone disguised as him) so we wouldn't be done with the session in 30 minutes. We ended up killing all the guards (that's what black tentacles, a quickened enlarge person, a highly-optimized chain-wielder, and guns that deal 2d8 damage plus 2d6 bane will do to an encounter).

We chased the (invisible) Ronald and his four new henchmen, and eventually found him. Of course, our entrance to the last room was covered with an anti-magic field of some sort, so they shot us all to around half HP in a round or so before anyone could do anything. Then we unleashed the fury with web, invisibility, and a host of spells, bullets, and chain-smacks, eventually beating the entire encounter without a death and with very little DM fudging.

Turns out that the guy who had given us the information actually wanted power himself, so he came in a took the crown (which the DM clearly said made you emperor) off of Ronald's pile o' dust. A feeblemind, hold person, and coup de grace later, the new rulers of the NAE are a barbarian from the streets and his gnome wizard adviser. :smallbiggrin:

Also, it turns out that the NPCs we were fighting were all higher level than us. Like, the Paladins and Clerics were all 12th, 14th, or 16th level, and Ronald was a 20th level Bard Lich, all with better-than-32-point-buy stats. That's at least like EL 25 encounter, I'd say. Of course, barely any enemy could cast spells, since our chain-guy had the Mage Slayer feats and every encounter took place in a 30x30 room (which is perfect for a big barbarian with like a 20-foot reach).

Nuiat
2008-04-23, 02:36 PM
Sweet. I didn't think kobolds would ever pull that sort of thing off.

Speaking of ridiculously powerful attacks, I have researched what may be the most complicated attack ever. (In fact, it might be worth a new thread to see if anyone can top it.)

Okay, I'm in a campaign that just obtained epic level. I'm 10 Ranger/ 10 Deepwood Sniper. We have a 5 druid/ 5 warshaper/ 10 shifter in our party now, too. It turns out that if a bard casts animate object on something it counts as a construct and therefore our shifter can become it at will. Our shifter also took swarm form, so if the object had only 1 hd, then he could become 20 of them. Now, our bard casts animate object on one of my arrows. Our shifter becomes that arrow. It turns out that if I shoot our shifter as an arrow, it counts as an attack. So, as an ambush, the shifter becomes an arrow, I prepare to shoot that arrow, he uses a prep action to use swarm form to split into twenty arrows as soon as I shoot. If I take aim (+4) and use my true strike (+20 once per day), then I effectively make twenty attacks off one attack at my highest attack bonus +24.

At 1d8+3 a piece, heaven forbid I critical.:smallamused:

Eclipse
2008-04-23, 02:50 PM
I was playing a happy-go-lucky good aligned kender cleric in a FR campaign in which everyone else was evil or neutral leaning towards evil. We had an agreement that infighting was ok as long as it was warranted.

So, the party was hatching a plan to take over Waterdeep, and it was going along smoothly. Our insane archmage had a sword that let him control fire elementals, our druid was close to gaining control of a pack of werecreatures, someone else was doing something with an undead army, and the party was in negotiations with a succubus to lead a demon army against the city as well. Of course, I can't let this happen. I'm supposed to help people.

So, my first trick is to quietly teleport away to Waterdeep to warn them of what's coming. Unfortunately, no one would listen to me since kender are known for telling tall tales. So, I go back, and when the Succubus asks about where I've been, I lie, but she knows it, and I end up telling the truth, hoping it will break off negotiations. It does, and then she attacks us and we kill her. That night, the party got their revenge and offed me, but I stopped them from getting their army and invading.

I then rolled a new character, and we went on to conquer the world... or we would have if the campaign went on long enough.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a Dragonlance campaign I ran, the players were leading the Knights of Solamnia, who were being woefully incompetent, against the Dark Knights of Takhisis, who had commanders way more powerful than the players.

The battle played out in three major stages.

In stage one, the party cleric used a dragon orb to draw the dragon mount of the enemy commander into a dragontrap in the High Clerist's Tower. The commander jumped off, not wanting to be stuck there as well. The tanks then walked in and cut the dragon to ribbons. Dragons aren't worth much without any maneuverability, the ability to aim their breath weapons, or use anything at all aside from a single bite attack, so it was an easy fight.


Now that the Dark Knights were advancing in full force, our wizard decided to take matters into her own hands. She took out a wand with some form of evil taint, having no idea what it did, went invisible and began flying towards the army. The commander was way out in front, having abandoned his dragon, waiting for the army to catch up.

The wizard took this opportunity to try out her new wand. As it turned out, it randomly launched high powered spells at both the user and the single target, and they could be either beneficial or harmful. The commander was unable to locate her, and began running for his army, where a cleric was waiting up front to heal him. After a time, he got there and healed up, while our wizard was looking mighty beat up. She got off one more effect, which apparently did nothing, then the enemy wizards, with true seeing, let her have it with a bunch of spells.

She teleported back inside the tower, where the cleric healed her up, and she realized the commander was dominated. She used this tidbit to command him to charge in way ahead of his army, after which a portcullis would be dropped to keep everyone else out. Unfortunately, the enemy cleric also made it in. So, the wizard forced the commander to fight ineffectively, while the rest of the party tried to deal with the cleric. The commander went down fast. After this, there was a pause in the combat, then the cleric challenged the most qualified person on the side of the Knights to an honorable combat.

The dwarven fighter accepted, of course. He was badly outmatched power wise, though the enemy cleric was weakened through her previous fighting and spellcasting. At first, things went badly for our fighter, but then he realized the secret: clerics can't grapple as well as full on soldiers. And he got into a straight up wrestling match, ripping away her weapons and dropping his own. They fought until she looked ready to fall over. The dwarf was also on his last legs. Then an enemy minotaur began walking towards the fight, seeking to save his ally, who looked to be losing the fight. The party wizard and cleric nuked the minotaur nearly to oblivion, and he made it to the fight just after the dwarf knocked the cleric unconscious. Before the dwarf could kill her, the minotaur took up his greatsword and hit the dwarf on the head and knocked him out.

The minotaur then picked up the enemy cleric and walked off the battlefield, with the party not doing anything else since the enemy was currently honor-bound to withdraw for the day due to the victory of the dwarven warrior over the cleric. The enemy was also, of course, demoralized at the loss of their commander and his dragon, as well as seeing their lead cleric lose a battle to one of the enemy. The war ended soon after, mainly due to the battle that day.

Thrawn183
2008-04-23, 04:20 PM
We started our campaign imprisoned and without our items. We broke out and while flying away on a baby soarwhale we freed, I knocked the flying castle we had been imprisoned in right out of the sky with some amazing dispel magic rolls.

Totally changed the course of the campaign. I think one of the other characters started worshipping me.

TheCountAlucard
2008-04-23, 04:24 PM
This bit took place during my "good" campaign. The party consisted of a Sorcerer, a Paladin, and a Ranger, average party level of 7. They had entered a town that was beleagured by a gang of bandits that would regularly raid them. They managed to get on the bad side of the bandits when they trounced a dozen of them that had gathered at the tavern to stir up some trouble. Rather than wait to be attacked, the players decided for a pre-emptive strike.

The Ranger and Sorcerer sneak into the bandits' encampment. After a few hours of sneaking around, they report back to the Paladin and explain that they are vastly outnumbered; there are at least fifty bandits there. So, the Sorcerer decides to mill about the camp in disguise, and he manages to end up alone with the bandit leader. He uses a Scroll of Dominate Person he had obtained prior to this incedent, and the bandit leader fails his save.

The bandits eventually discover the deception, but they assume that it's the work of the bandit camp's wizard, not knowing they had been infiltrated.

Things pretty much fell into place after that.

Nerd-o-rama
2008-04-23, 04:50 PM
You mean like Legendary Commander/Epic Spellcasting cheese?

Oh. Not that kind of epic or that kind of exploit.

Oslecamo
2008-04-23, 05:23 PM
The party first killing a bunch of random ecounter gnolls. In gnoll territorry. Wich pissed off the gnoll leaders. Wich sent their best soldiers at us. Dozens togheter at first, then groups of one about one hundred with medium level leaders, then groups of three hundreds with elite leaders. In less than three days. We slaughtered almost all of them in some the most gorish D&D battles I witnessed and the Gnolls ended up deciding it was more worthile to ally with the nation we were fighting for thant trying to keep fighting us.

We acepted because only one person in the party still hadn't died and been ressurected during all of this, and even if we were fithy rich with all the loot we had hardly advanced in level with all the deaths. And there was an annoying group of gnoll assassins stalcking us all the time with all kind of stealth stuff wich made detection almost impossible.

Oh, and the guy who managed to survive was the cleric with heavy armor and shield who hanged back poping the fallen party members back up, since the gnolls just loved to focus fire with all kind of nasty stuff.

Anyway, plowing trough an enemy army while geting killed and breathing twice again was a very memorable experience.

Nuiat
2008-04-23, 09:18 PM
So, there was this one time that our party made camp outside a port town in order to keep an eye on it. The town was full of stupid, stupid pirates carrying crates of DC stupid knowledge nature check. Donalbain, whose class and alignment none of us know for special reasons, decides to do some recon in the town. He walks up to two of the pirates and casts modify memory, telling them, "Hey, it's beer time". The forman of the ship began shouting at the slacking pirates, but he just happened to be in range of another modify memory spell. Shortly after, the forman began shouting to his crew that it was officially "beer time." The ship next to it begins to suspect a mutiny, one thing leads to another, and suddenly the town is rampant with cutlass/beer stein wielding pirates. Donalbain soon realizes, "Hey, things are going badly. Greater invisibility", leaving the drunken brawl behind him.

Got a free cutlass out of it, yes I did.

drengnikrafe
2008-04-23, 09:34 PM
I can't count the number of times I told this story...

My DM decided to set our team of 6 (7, if you count the Air Elemental) against an army of Kua-Toa. He decided against adding the CRs until later, but it was something like five CR 6's, four CR 7's, a CR 8 or two, a few CR 5's... 172 monsters in all. Most were lowly archers, but there was a Bard, a Warlock, a group of buffed up, large warriors, ect ect ect.
My DM also decided he would impliment Action Points to our friendly little team of level 7's. The AP stacked from level to level, so we all had 30 or 40 AP. My DM decided we could use more then one AP in a single action.
After the battle had waged for awhile, and they had lost 25 or so on their side, and we were all down to less then half HP... I asked if there was some way I could make it so my fireball could deal full damage (because my last fireball had failed to kill the creatures who made their reflex saves by 3 HP). "Sure," says my DM, "Sudden Empower Spell. It's a feat, you can use an action point to get it for 1 minute"...
Me: "Hey, are there any other sudden metamagics that exist?"
DM: "Sure: Empower, Enlarge, Quicken, Still, Silence, Extend, Maximize"
Me: ...
*Writes on sheet rapidly*
Me: "I use 9 action points, and cast 2 fireballs: One is empowered, enlarged, Maximized, the other is the same thing plus quickened, plus 2 for the fireballs I didn't prepare extra this morning."

About a hundred enemies later (this was my turn alone), it was cleanup of the leftovers.

Favorite story ever. : P

Ravyn
2008-04-26, 10:28 PM
I think my personal best was in a mixed-level "backstory" game my face to face group was playing. I'd rolled up a sorc/paladin crossclass by name of Jillian, one of the trainees competing for the position of Knight of the White Tower--and pretty much the dark horse candidate, since they a. weren't too fond of sorcery and b. were a bit sexist.

And then we got into that ambush, against the BBEG, Darklord, a heavy-armor cleric-type. We were supposed to run, and were rather strongly encouraged to by the highly nerfed epic or at least near-epic archmage (this was a PC, mind you). Except in revealing himself, he got Darklord's attention. Ignoring the rest of us, Darklord moves to attack this old enemy of his... and ends up in a flank between Jillian and one of the other trainees.

Jillian knew only one second-level spell. Unfortunately for him, that spell was Wraithstrike. Even more unfortunately for him, she'd only used it once that day, and to make matters worse, her first roll was a successful crit. So the group was treated to the sight of a young woman with a merciful scimitar can-openering their most feared opponent, at least until it was ensured that we run away.

It certainly decided who would be the Knight of the White Tower--and the second time she and Darklord met (and the third time, though that was involuntary), he ran from her.

Farmer42
2008-04-27, 03:48 PM
I was once in a party in an OA campaign. I was playing a Sohei general who had spend a little too much time near the Shadowlands, and therefore was a tad loopy. So, one session, our army was vastly outnumbered and surrounded. So, what did our party do? The Kobold barbarian from the West went and purchased several pounds of opium, tied them to ballista bolds, and set up alchemists fires to go off on impact, lighting the opium, and sending the enemy into a peaceful daze.

Superglucose
2008-04-27, 05:16 PM
My rogue character stepped into a room with skin-tight leather armor and three pistols on each side attatched to the chest. She had a cannon strapped to her back and a rifle strapped as well, and walked up to the desk where three of the largest mob bosses of all time were debating plans. Guards were standing around the room, and a low-int ally (another party member who'd decided that he was going to be essentially my cohort because of how gung-ho and badass I played my rogue) flanked her.

"Can we help you?" The mob bosses asked.

"Sure." She pulled out the cannon, blew a hole in one, dropped the cannon and quick-drew a pistol in each hand and finished off one of the other bosses. As the other guards closed in on her her companion whipped out his staff and KOd two of them in the first round. The final boss began to run, and my character pulled her rifle and took careful aim, downing the final boss as he fled.

She did all this while the rest of the party was fighting to keep the castle protected from an army.

So while the large (and good) portion of the party had headed off to save the town from a hostile takeover from the mob bosses of the city, my character broke off from the party and took the main fighter to go replace, not kill but replace, the very mob bosses who were about to take over the city.

As a result she was crowned King of the Goblins and also the heir of the Duke of the city she 'saved.'

Roderick_BR
2008-04-27, 08:53 PM
The most recent one I can think was my beguiler killing a whole group of goblins hiding on top of palm trees to shot at us. I just cast sleep a couple times, and watched them falling to their deaths (they were high enough to take 2d6 points of damage, and most had an average of 4 hit points, and not good enough will saves or balance checks)

Farmer42
2008-04-27, 09:16 PM
Not a DnD story, but it's about a game. So, this one time...at band camp...my character...Wait, sorry, wrong story. Anyways, the game is in HERO system, set in the Champions universe, and I'm playing a powersuit styled brick. 9" of angry robot encased scientist, and we just watched the leader of a government conspiracy get dropped by sniper fire. A group of enemies, also in powersuits, but not nearly as Fancy as mine drop in from above. OK, I can deal with that. I'm strong enough to go for a stroll in the country carrying a double wide without breaking a sweat, and I have the armor to stop mortar fire (I had already done that once this campaign.)

So I grab a nearby van and use it as a weapon, taking a guy out. Next Phase, their officers drop in, and one of them chooses to land right next to me. When my phase comes around, there is now the remains of a van, sandwiched between a fallen mook and his officer. Generic mook #243 looks at his flechette rifle, which has only succeeded in tickling me, and then decides to do something different, while I'm looking the other way at his officer buddy. So he runs up and slaps me. *TINK* I thought it was kind of funny. Most things go do that when they hit me. Three phases later, the mine he had set on my should goes off.

I'm still standing, mad as hell, and now my Fancy armor from space has a hole in it. Also, my shoulder burns a bit. Oficer #2 looks at me. Looks at the smoking hole in my shoulder. Looks at the pile of bodies next to me. Decides to try the m203 underslung grenade launcher. Bang, pow, I'm still standing. I didn't take any more damage, but my ears were ringing. Now I'm really angry. So I go dance with the officer.

Let me tell you, grenades and mines make me giggle like a little schoolgirl, but knives...those things are dangerous. Especially when wielded by an officer. Next phase come around, I swing and miss. the officer's turn. He pulls his knife, pokes me, and I fall unconscious. Game over, man. Game over.