Curses, Explecitives and Swearing

[McClintock]

Our group swears, a lot. We are having trouble thinking of period appropriate curses that don't make us laugh. Any suggestions?

We are playing in Greyhawk, running Shackled City. All of us are human and three of us come from Kord's temple, sort of.

Help is greatly appreciated, thanks in advance.

[Illiterate Scribe]

Battlestar Galactica's 'frack' is monosyllabic, harsh-sounding, and makes it quite clear what you mean.

[Myshlaevsky]

Most English swearwords are pretty old. I'd suggest just using them if you don't have a personal problem with it.

[Ankhor]

I enjoy translating foreign curses and using them. "You damned steaming wall-holes!" is a German favourite...of course, that's inherently humorous and thus not particularly helpful.

I seem to remember there being a list of fictional expletives on Wikipedia at some point, but it seems to be absent. however, some guy (http://dragonwritingprompts.blogsome.com/wikipedias-list-of-fictional-expletives/) seems to have a fairly comprehensive list of his own. Try pilfering something from there.

[Solo]

You need to learn about wizard swears (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqTHmzMk0Cw)!

[senrath]

I'm quite partial to frell, d'arvit, and shards.

[GolemsVoice]

Try using expressions from everyday life and culture, just like in our society.We sometimes shout "Jesus Christ!" or "Oh my god!". Likewise, a citizen of greyhawk might say: "Kord's teeth!" or "By Erythnuul's eyes!". "Religious" swear words and curses were common, and still are, though some characters in game might find it offensive.
You could use something that is important to the race's culture or life. A dwarf might for example mutter " Go set yer beard on fire" when he dislikes someone.

[hamishspence]

Dragon had a LONG list of phrases, pious and impious. "Vecna's other hand!" being one. Novels have some good metaphors as well: I liked "Its as dark as Cyric's shorts in here"

[hamishspence]

And "by the black backside of Bane" it should not be too hard to make up your own.

[Talya]

Refer to the "nine hells" and "the abyss" a lot.

Pick a disgusting creature from the monster manual. Then refer to its dung. (because dung is disgusting enough, but night hag dung has to be worse.)

The target of your ire should invariably perform explicit acts with various creatures of the animal subtype.

[Corolinth]

String together several random syllables. Five to ten should be good.

Make up some fairly disgusting sentence, such as, "May your anus become infested with aboleth herpes."

Tell the GM that your random arrangement of syllables is how you say your chosen disgusting sentence in whatever language is your character's favorite.

Example: "Matla bu bu banu." This is Kobold for the aforementioned tidings of special herpes.

Continue until you feel you have sufficient curses.

[Talya]

Insinuate that the target of your ire is the product of an illegitimate union between his mother and <Goblins, kobolds, dretches, manes, lemures, nupperibo, Otyugh, halflings.>

[Rachel Lorelei]

Try using expressions from everyday life and culture, just like in our society.We sometimes shout "Jesus Christ!" or "Oh my god!". Likewise, a citizen of greyhawk might say: "Kord's teeth!" or "By Erythnuul's eyes!". "Religious" swear words and curses were common, and still are, though some characters in game might find it offensive.
You could use something that is important to the race's culture or life. A dwarf might for example mutter " Go set yer beard on fire" when he dislikes someone.

This is on the right track, but it'll sound forced and awkward, maybe.

I'm running a character who uses religious-based curses a lot. It hits the right note, because it's offensive, and combining the gods with vulgarity.
The thing is, instead of "Kord's teeth", you want something more, well, anatomical or offensive. "Kord bugger me with a greatsword" instead of "holy bleeping bleep", maybe.

The character's a prince, but he slums it a lot, hangs out in taverns, and is generally considered to be a scamp (of course, this is all a cover, but I digress). The deities worshipped in the character's country are Donateur, the Giver; Souteneur, the Sustainer; Preneur, the Taker.
That means that he uses exclamations like "Taker's taint!" and "Giver's t**s!" and "Preneur's balls!" a bunch. Which irritates his devoutly religious brother.

Aside from that, you really are better off using the standard f***, s***, etc. they're pretty old words, like someone said, and I can't really see them breaking immersion. While we're at it, mix in some of the British ones (well, unless you are a brit; it won't have the same effect)--bloody, bugger, sodding, etc.



Insinuate that the target of your ire is the product of an illegitimate union between his mother and <Goblins, kobolds, dretches, manes, lemures, nupperibo, Otyugh, halflings.>
I love how that's in order of increasing awfulness. :tongue:

[Glawackus]

Insinuate that the target of your ire is the product of an illegitimate union between his mother and <Goblins, kobolds, dretches, manes, lemures, nupperibo, Otyugh, halflings.>

Actually, that might explain all those "half-" races.

/rimshot!

[Reel On, Love]

You need to learn about wizard swears (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqTHmzMk0Cw)!

Oh my god that was brilliant.

[Chronos]

The target of your ire should invariably perform explicit acts with various creatures of the animal subtype.If you're feeling particularly polite. If you're not feeling so polite, then the aberration, ooze, undead, or possibly outsider type might work better.

Not really on the topic of non-humorous cusses, but when I was playing a fire sorceress in Diablo II, I used "Asbestos" and "Halon" as expletives. Like, when faced with an area full of Fallen (annoying little demons that are immune to fire), I would exclaim "Kiss my asbestos", or "What the halon?".

[Pronounceable]

Plainly swear at racial deities. That ought to offend, especially clerics. "Bleep Corellon, he's a bleep and he bleeps!"

And I second explicit acts with undead, oozes and aberrations.

[Skjaldbakka]

Reminds me of a game of World's Largest Dungeon. I was playing an elven cleric of Fharlaghn, and a friend of mine was playing a dwarven cleric of Moraddin. Upon encountering something unsavory, we both exclaimed simultaneously "Jesus H. Fharlaghn!" and "Moraddin H. Christ!", respectively.

Upon discovering the common middle intitials of our deities, we became fast friends.

It is perhaps made slightly more humorous by the fact we (the players) share a first name.

[Xefas]

I like to have my High&Wood Elven swears be jabs at Lloth.
"By the eight fatty thighs of Lloth"
"It's cold as Lloth's nethers in here"
"May the fetid, sticky secretions of the Spiderqueen's anus be upon you"
"How could you miss a chasm the size of the Dark Mother's backside?!"
And so on.

[Totally Guy]

"Kord bugger me with a greatsword" instead of "holy bleeping bleep", maybe.

Interestingly that's where "Cor blimey" comes from, it's a corruption of the phrase "Kord Blind Me".:smalltongue: Kord used to have quite a following in the old days.

I remember when I was on an MMORPG and I'd curse with "By Aluwen's Beard!" which was funny because Aluwen was goddess of all that was good and right and most certainly did not have a beard.

[TheCountAlucard]

Just remember you guys, according to Deities and Demigods, every time you say a deity's name, they hear it. They can choose to listen to you after you say their name...

[Xefas]

Just remember you guys, according to Deities and Demigods, every time you say a deity's name, they hear it. They can choose to listen to you after you say their name...

True, true. Though, now I'm more than a little tempted to have a mortal in my game world ascend into godhood as "Ewe, God of Easily Offendedness and Disproportionate Retribution via Non-Level-Appropriated Challenge Rating Encounters"

Every time someone says "I hate you" or "You're a bastard" or anything like that: BAM, Space Marine Balors in Evangelions start raining from the sky.

[Dragor]

d'arvit,

:smallamused: it seems young Fowl has a wide influence.

"By the Nine accursed layers of Hell!" is always a good one, but don't let your deity catch you screaming it.

[Curmudgeon]

I just want to know if "explecitives" is a typo, or a conscious combination of "explicit" and "expletives". :smallwink:

[McClintock]

Thanks to everyone, I'm going to send this along to the other guys in my group... this should help us think of better curses.

[SilverClawShift]

I can't beleive no one's mentioned "Taff". As featured in the Thief series of games, taff is an all inclusive swear for just about any sentence structure you might be putting together.

"Taff off, you taffing Taffer"

[Arokh]

I would concider "Damination!" as quiet appropriate.
Also, wishing the targeted being to be overcome various nasty sicknesses,
e.g. "The pox on you!", fits rather good.

[Tengu]

While not very original, I've heard "feck" get used in fantasy games pretty often as a replacement for you know what word.



Every time someone says "I hate you" or "You're a bastard" or anything like that: BAM, Space Marine Balors in Evangelions start raining from the sky.

If this god existed I'd do that just to see it. An awesome mental image.

[Mike_G]

Battlestar Galactica's 'frack' is monosyllabic, harsh-sounding, and makes it quite clear what you mean.

Please, for the love of all that is good and pure, don't.

"Frack" sounds forced, and breaks immersion. It clearly says "We reeeaaaaaally wanted to write 'f***' in the script, but this has to air on SciFi." It's like trying to watch Samuel L Jackson call somebody a "motorscooter" on broadcast TV. It burns.

Use a real swear, or an inventive and offensive curse, like "By Elohna's erect nipples!" Don't go halfway.

[Ryver]

A lot of these are good oaths, like if you're in really deep and have time to say the whole thing ("By the Silky Grey Beard of the Soul Forger, how are we going to defeat THAT?!"). However, for something to shout concisely (akin to English curse words like "dammit", and a few words beginning with S or F), we'll need to find something else.

I'm a big fan of using the setting for this - things related to deities work well here. If your deity has a short, guttural name (I'm looking at you, Kord), shouting it should suffice. Lacking this, find an aspect about the deity you could substitute (not familiar with a lot of the pantheon, but Gruumsh lends Orcs to say stuff like "By the Eye!")

For something that you could use as an exclamatory instead of the Effenheimer, it's generally best to make something up. Not unlike the uncertain origins of the F-Bomb itself, it need not relate to anything within the setting - it just needs to have one syllable and roll off the tongue. ("Taff" isn't too bad, I don't think, but I don't like "frack". Sounds... forced, and contrived. YMMV)

You could also blend deities with other existing phrases that reference a deity. For example, followers of Pelor may refer to their current task as a "sundamned goose-chase".

One more thing before I run away: Firefly was awesome at swearing. For those of you who are unfamiliar (go watch it, srsly), the characters had some interesting slang. Gorram and Ruttin' replaced common English curses that I'm sure you can guess, and the change was subtle enough that it added to the credibility of the culture.

On top of that... they occasionally swore in Chinese. The way in which this was done was magnificent - it blended seamlessly into their speech. Try making up some words in a language like Orcish or Goblin. You could get classy and try swearing in Elven if it suits your character better.

I think that if you can pull this off with either made-up words, or a real language the rest of your group can't recognize, you win forever. Double points if you use your real-world language skills to throw in the phrase "explosive diarrhea of an elephant".

Beware the DM who will make your different-language curses mean something entirely different than you might expect, leading to hilarity or social encounters.

[Piedmon_Sama]

Anything to do with the scrotum is invariably a resource for foul language in any epoch or era. "Balls!" is a good, blunt exclamation that can be uttered in a moment. "This is balls" is also an often handy assessment of unfortunate situations. "You balled that up," while not actually making sense, is a real example from our own world that pertains to someone doing a poor job.

I tend to make monotheistic worlds to draw a stronger connection to our own, so "Goddamn," and "my God" tend to work in mine. I have a theory that even in polytheistic settings, people will not only form a strong personal connection to one particular god, but still adopt the use of "God" as a proper name over "Zeus," "Thor," etc. So "what in the name of God...?" could have been well uttered even in ancient times.

[Ziren]

I enjoy translating foreign curses and using them. "You damned steaming wall-holes!" is a German favourite...of course, that's inherently humorous and thus not particularly helpful.


"Ihr verdammten dampfenden Wandlöcher?" I think I would know of such an expression, if it would exist:smallconfused:

[Lizardfolk Lich]

There's always "Fetcher" and "N'wah".

[Waspinator]

Dragon had a LONG list of phrases, pious and impious. "Vecna's other hand!" being one. Novels have some good metaphors as well: I liked "Its as dark as Cyric's shorts in here"
Ok, "Vecna's other hand!" amuses me way more than it should.:smallbiggrin:

[Zenos]

"By the Gods..."

"Go get eaten by some dark god!"

My suggestions.

[Project_Mayhem]

While we're at it, mix in some of the British ones (well, unless you are a brit; it won't have the same effect)--bloody, bugger, sodding, etc.

That seems to be the way American films and games indicate that a character is English. Posh accent and bloodys all the way.

personal favorite of mine is berk. 'Cause its often bandied around as an archaic mild swear, without people realising that its rhyming slang for the worst swear of them all. As in Berkly hunt.

As for the OP, I generally find mixing together many minor/archaic/less common swearwords in one sentence massively outways just using one of the big ones.

I.E. Go felch yourself, you fecund arse mongrel

[AslanCross]

Get something connected to a deity's portfolio and make it undesirable.

"By Kord's sweaty codpiece!"
"You belong in Ehlonna's steaming mulch-pile, you maggot mother."
"By Cyric's fetid lying breath, I could swear you aren't telling me everything."
"By Tiamat's scaly, slimy tail! Dragons are coming!"

Damning someone is easy, just invoke a god of death.
"Kelemvor/Wee Jas/Nerull/Myrkul take your skull and bones."
Or FR's Umberlee. Her title is easily used as a swear word. o_o;

[Wooter]

My suggestion is to go ahead and use normal curse words, but use them a little differently, in a sort of old-timey way. The F word should not be bandied about of everything. If you're going to use it, use it only in reference to sex. I would also use the older british variations sometimes, like ****e (oops. Cencored. It's a synonym for crap) and arse.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Just smegging great. A smegging cookie to whoever can figure out where the smeg this swearword comes from.

[Talya]

Just smegging great. A smegging cookie to whoever can figure out where the smeg this swearword comes from.

Red Dwarf pile o' smeg?

[Waspinator]

You're all a bunch of slagging solenoids!