"Useless" magic items needed!

[Sacrath]

My next adventure has my PCs run into a trapped fey named Patchwork Jack:

Hello, my name is Patchwork Jack-
Won't you take a look inside my sack?
Things find their way in there you see-
Though retrieving them is far from free.
But deals I make! And just today-
Setting me free is all you'll pay.

Patchwork Jack
Medium Fey
HD 8d6+16 (40)
Speed 60 ft. (12 squares)
Init: +10
AC 18; touch 16; flat-footed 12 (+6 Dex, +2 Natural Armor)
BAB +4; Grp +5
Attack Claw +10 melee (1d4+1, 20/x2)
Full-Attack 2 Claws +10 melee (1d4+1, 20/x2)
Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft.
Special Attacks Clickity Clack Get In The Sack!
Special Qualities Uncatchable, DR 10/Cold Iron
Saves Fort +4 Ref +12 Will +11
Abilities Str 13, Dex 22, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 16, Cha 16
Skills Appraise +12, Bluff +14, Climb +12, Jump +12, Sense Motive +12, Tumble +17, Use Magic Device +14
Feats Weapon Finesse, Improved Initiative, Ability Focus (Clickity Clack Get In The Sack!)
Environment Any
Organization Solitary
Challenge Rating 7
Treasure No gold; Half gems; Double art; Double magical items
Alignment Chaotic Neutral
Advancement None
Level Adjustment None

Before you stands what resembles a scarecrow without any straw. This creature is composed of a skeletal frame covered with various swatches of cloth and leather stitched together haphazardly. Even more disconcerting is its eyes which glow a dull yellow between two holes in the hood of its garment. Its mouth is a wide, loosely-stitched, toothless gash and in its clawed hands hit holds a bulging black velvet sack.

Uncatchable: Patchwork Jack is a slippery one, and constantly under the affects of Freedom of Movement (CL 15) this can be dispelled but Patchwork Jack and re-activate it next round as a free action.

Clickity Clack Get In The Sack: As a full round action, Patchwork Jack may attempt to capture one of his enemies in his magical sack. This requires a melee touch attack and a target may resist with a successful Will Save (DC 19). Anyone trapped within the sack is missing for 1d6 days before they can be found wandering around somewhere near a location of high fey activity (enchanted glens, mushroom circles, ect.). No one remembers what went on while lost in Jack's sack, and one magic item (at the DM's digression) is missing from their inventory. Jack can attempt this attack once every 1d4+1 rounds. The save is Charisma based.

Combat:
Patchwork Jack, in general, is a non-violent creature however, he does not abide theft nor insults and will most likely attempt to capture the offender in his bag before escaping from any allies they might have had. If cornered his main tactic is to trap as many foes as needed before escaping, although he has full access to the items within his sack and may withdraw them to aid him in combat if the need is dire. The contents of Patchwork Jack's sack is up to the DM.


What I need, is a list of items that might be found in such a creature's magical sack. Jack is an unseelie fey, and his "bargains" are often directly harmful or else completely worthless to those that try to use them. However, they should have some useful effect that a creative player might exploit.

To give you an idea of what I am looking for I have a few items that I am going to include:

A magical staff that's only ability is to keep itself balanced on its tip.
A ring of invisibility that makes the wearer blind.
A cloak of intangibility. (ie nothing)
A wand of fireballs that can only target the wielder.

You get the idea. Anyway I am hoping to get a large list of items and put them on a table to roll any time the PCs deal with Patchwork Jack in the future which should be often as long as they don't kill him straight off for speaking in rhyme.

[hylian chozo]

A ring of continuous Deathwatch that tells the player that the wearer is alive, dead, or undead.

A magical stick that causes the word, "WAND" to appear in the air directly in front of the wielder.

A "Scroll of Words". I'll let you figure that one out.

That kind of thing?

[Sacrath]

Exactly, I especially like the ring.

[Jack_Simth]

Ring of Invulnerability: This ring cannot be damaged by any force. It does not confer this benefit to the wearer. Great for jamming things open, though, and causes Spheres of Annihilation to detonate in an explosion on contact (the ring survives this, too, although the person wearing it doesn't).

Ring of Theft-Alarm: This ring lets out a powerful jolt of electricity every time something is stolen from the wearer. Unfortunately, this jolt always targets the wearer for 5d6 damage (no save). Makes a great gift for an enemy once you've loaded up on Slight of Hand.

Instant Water: This odd white powder, when mixed with no more than ten gallons of pure water, results in as many as ten gallons of pure water.

Mirror of Seeing: When the command-word is spoken, this mirror shows the wielder what he expects to see - whether that has any basis in reality or not.

[Icewalker]

Amulet of anti-gravity? As soon as you put it on it (and only it) immediately falls upward off your neck?

Wand of Anti-magic. It itself cannot be used because of all the anti-magic in it.

[sigurd]

Horse shoes of falling. - a horse shod with these shoes has 5x the normal chance of falling.

Rod of Wondrous Flower - dropped into a wet container and the command words "colour for free" spoken the rod spouts a bouquet of flowers. The flowers last until the wand is removed or the water completely dries up. if they are plucked they vanish.

Wand of beef or chicken - if this wand is used to stir soup it flavours it as if with stock. One end has a chicken and one end has a cow. The image in the hand determines the type of flavour. It adds no appreciable nutrition.

(Cursed) Case of parchment disappearing - This device collects maps and scrolls for a distant figure. Any paper or parchment like substance rolled up and put in the case is teleported to the collector.

Dunce Cap of Charity. This cap shapes the head beneath into a similar shape. The effect is permanent, until the victim gives 1000gld to the poor with his own hand. No more that 10 gold can be given to any recipient. The conditions of the curse removal can be determined by an Identify spell.

Bag of Urine - This small bag will hold an unlimited amount of urine. At discovery it holds d100-30 gallons of urine. The bag and the holder always smell of Apples.
If it is tipped and the command words "Fetchez la vache" are spoken it will empty itself. The contained urine does not fester or spoil.


Sigurd.

[BRC]

An Invisible Ring, NOT a ring of invisibility, the ring itself is invisible.
An Invulnerable ring, The ring is invulnerable, the wearer isn't.

[MorkaisChosen]

The Wand of Create Wand that I've seen a few times on this board would work... Just guess what types of wand it can create!

Other ideas: This one's nicked, but Rings of Friendship. If you wear one of them, you know there's another one in the world. If you wear both, you know where both of them are.

Everfull Glass: a glass that's full of water. It's impossible to get the water out of the glass, hence the name.

[TheCountAlucard]

Wand of Olives - This wand can produce one olive every hour. It can only create green olives with a pimento in the center. The pimento cannot be removed by any means prior to consuming the olive.

Staff of Cuisine - Three times per day, this staff can produce food of nigh-royal quality, a delicious and hearty feast. The food never spoils and will last until consumed (at which point it disappears).

[Dorizzit]

Incense of Constipation: self explanatory.
Rod of Blunder: When used, it causes the wielder to fall prone or drop their weapon/staff/wand/etc.
King's Clothes: only idiots can't see them...:smallamused:
Sword of Prophecy: It tells you everything that happens to you five minutes ago.
Ring of Detect Thoughts: it informs you that anything you look at is either thinking, or not.
Headband: No mechanical bonus, but +10 to awesome.
+5 Axe of Empathy: Every time you hit something, you get dealt an equal amount of damage. Both you and the thing you hit are then healed the amount of damage dealt by the axe, even if either are dead. The Axe hopes you have learned your lesson.

Edit: @V: answered.

[MorkaisChosen]

Nine Olives Stealer: an ordinary sword, except for its ability to steal nine olives, which become part of its hilt once stolen (as a touch attack, no save).

EDIT: Would the Axe of Empathy resurrect someone it killed? If not, that's pretty useful...

[Xuincherguixe]

Decanter of endless nothing:
When tipped, it doesn't do anything

Ring of thing:
Whatever it is it does, no one can tell.

Musical Box:
When opened, a musical number is generated, complete with a bunch of people singing and dancing.

Hat of vanishing rabbits:
A rabbit can be pulled from out of the hat. By tugging on the rabbits ears, little numbers appear over it's eyes and begins counting down ominously. When the numbers reach 0, it vanishes.

Ring of diminishing returns:
An iron ring which on the first day splits into 9 identical rings. One of those rings will then split into 8 on the second, and so on until no new rings are made. Each ring is worth 1 copper.

Still beating heart:
A heart which though removed from whatever creature, keeps beating.

[MorkaisChosen]

Still-beating heart: a heart that, when it gets within 150ft of a distillation apparatus, flys from wherever it is kept atnd attacks the still. It always wins.

[UglyPanda]

Rope of entanglement: When unattended, appears to be an ordinary 100 ft. silk rope, however, once touched, the rope will continuously twisted and knot itself until it is unsuitable for usage. A player may attempt to unknot said rope with a use rope check (DC 25) and it will not twisted itself again until it is dropped. Once it is dropped, it will exhibit this behavior the next time it is needed.

10 ft. pole of aversion: Any player attempting to touch anything with this pole must make a will save (DC 25) or they will hold said pole an inch away instead of touching it.

Ladder of tipping: This item appears to be an ordinary 30 ft. collapsible ladder. If a player climbs to the top of this ladder, it will tip over, sending the player crashing to the ground for 3d6 damage. A player may make a jump or tumble check to negate this damage, however they suffer a -5 to this check if they do not know of the ladder's effect.

[Kenori]

Sword of Ancestry: This beautifully crafted sword appears to be made of some crystalline metal. When picked up, you begin to hear strange sounds and whispers. If you have a dead relative who was extremely annoying in real life, 1 roud later he/she begins to constantly nag you about the way you look and how you fight. Dropping the sword only makes the noise louder, and only you can hear it. Anyone else who touches the sword also hears it. Remove curse will stop the affect, as well as a commune with dead spell if you choose that person and speak with them for more than one hour.

Would it kill you to commune with use for a change!

[MorkaisChosen]

Hmmm... That sword reminds me of something...

Also,

Goat of Turning: When the command word is spoken, this wooden statue of a goat revolves.

[Shades of Gray]

Gray wand of Animal Obedience (Pet Rock)

Rubik's focus of confounding displeasure, a cube that will give ultimate power, activated upon each side having all the same colour, but was mistakenly given seven colours.

Ergonomic Sword, a perfectly ergonomic sword, easy to grip, low weight, and causes no pain to the wielder, however... It causes no pain to the enemy...

[Icewalker]

How bout that ring of detect thoughts mentioned above, which lets you read only your own thoughts.

[Hawriel]

Ive always liked chainmail +2 of disappearance. In times of great physical danger it lives up to its name.

[ikrase]

Mirror of Light Diffusing: Its like an Archimedes's Death Ray but in reverse
Ring of Nonlethal Fireball: You can shoot a fireball at the enemy, but it just frazzles them and chars nonmagical clothes, doing no damage at all. It backfires on a D20 roll of 5 or less.

[MoelVermillion]

I thought I'd pitch a few ideas, I don't know if they're any good but maybe they'll set you on a thought train for something better or something.

Bag of replusion? A magic bag that looks like a bag of holding on the outside only anything you try to place in there is repelled out?

Hows about an umbrella of endless rain? Whilst not really much in DND terms i think that an umbrella that caused it to permanently rain on the holder would be pretty nifty for a trickster merchant.

Hows about a cloak of misplacement? Like a cloak of displacement only it has a percentage chance to go missing for a few days at a time?

Wands of either end. Standard magic wands except they have a 50% chance of firing in the opposite direction to where you targeted them.

EDIT: Seems like we had similar bags VVVV :smallsmile.

[boomwolf]

Keys of Nowhere these keys can be used to open any locked door as long there is nothing but empty space on the other side (not even air.)

Ring of Tune makes silly music.

Bag of Many Bags this ordinary-looking bag spits out any object put into it. however, you may reach in to the bag and once for day take out another Bag of Many Bags, a Bag of Many Bags spits out other Bags of Many Bags if you attempt to put them in, but not the ones that are created daily.

[MorkaisChosen]

Hmmm...

Personal Dis-Organiser (MkI, MkII or MkIII): This small box contains a bound Tiny outsider, and has several functions:


Handwriting Recognition: "Yep, that's handwriting.
Appointments Will tell you you have an appointment if you tell the imp earlier.


Any other ideas for that one?

[hippie_dwarf]

An Amulet of extra Amulet slot.

Magic Coin - When targeted by the spell Detect Magic or similar effect, this coin detects as magical. That is it's magical property.

[MorkaisChosen]

There's an item in Kingdom of Loathing like that amulet: an offhand item called the Fake Hand. Gives -1 Moxie (which is a combination of Cha and Dex, basically) and an extra off-hand slot.

[Flickerdart]

No, the hand takes off one damage as far as I remember, which is why stacks were used in the MP+ method.

[Pronounceable]

Scroll of Literacy: Grants the reader literacy when read.

Scroll of Cure Blindness: Cures blindness when read.

Scroll of Fireball: When crumpled into a ball, this scroll ignites.

Potion of Domination: Upon drinking this, the imbiber becomes dominated.

Armor of Avoidance: This enchanted chainmail+3 can't be hit. Any blow passes right through it and strikes the wearer instead.

Seven League Boots: Every step taken wearing these magical boots result in one foot seven leagues away from the other. However they don't protect their wearer from the groinal stress.

Vorpal Razor: Any cut inflicted with this razor while shaving is a vorpal hit.

Gloves of Fitting: These magical gloves fit anyone wearing them like a glove.

Cloak of Featherfall: This cloak casts featherfall on itself if it falls a distance of more than 10 feet. The spell can only slow the fall of the cloak.

Plate of Stone Skin: This fullplate+5 can, once per day, cast flesh to stone on its wearer. The effect is temporary, plate returns to normal in an hour.

Helm of Mirror Image: This helm allows its wearer to see his image on any mirror.

Potion of Undead Protection: Upon drinking this potion, imbiber becomes unable to harm the undead in any way.

[Flickerdart]

Potion of Polymorph*

Wallpaper of Explosive Runes

The ever-awesome Boots of Blinding Speed from Morrowind.

Amulet of Spell Resistance: resists the user's spells.

Dual scroll with both Stone to Flesh and Flesh to Stone inscribed on it, making it a Stone to Stone or Flesh to Flesh spell.

Same as above but for Mud to Stone.

*baleful edition

[streakster]

Bag of Endless Sand - Can produce 5 cubic feet of sand per turn. Functions only in deserts.

Staff of Eternity - cannot be moved, or harmed in any way. No magic or psionics or power of any sort can affect it in any way. It will never decay and will never rot.

Ring of Magician's Bane - The wear may never be harmed by the effects of Prestidigitation.

[Lord Ike]

clock of random time: The clock has a random time on it, DMs choice.

[Gael_Judicium]

Play Toy of Fun - a, er....., "play toy". After use it gives the user a STD (DM's choice)

Invisibility Cloak - Like Harry Potter's except it doesn't affect the wearer.

[Gael_Judicium]

Play Toy of Fun - a, er....., "play toy". After use it gives the user a STD (DM's choice)

Invisibility Cloak - Like Harry Potter's except it doesn't affect the wearer.

[Gael_Judicium]

Play Toy of Fun - a, er....., "play toy". After use it gives the user a STD (DM's choice)

Invisibility Cloak - Like Harry Potter's except it doesn't affect the wearer.

[obvious pun]

I've already found some uses for these items, for example...


Rubik's focus of confounding displeasure, a cube that will give ultimate power, activated upon each side having all the same colour, but was mistakenly given seven colours.

Replace the stickers.


Staff of Eternity - cannot be moved, or harmed in any way. No magic or psionics or power of any sort can affect it in any way. It will never decay and will never rot.

I know what I'm making my next fortress out of.


Potion of Polymorph*
*baleful edition

Purposely fail the fort save, make the will save, and you are now tiny sized or smaller, for whatever reason you need to be.


Helm of Mirror Image: This helm allows its wearer to see his image on any mirror.

Vampires don't have reflections normally, so this lets him finally see what he looks like as a vampire.


Bag of Many Bags this ordinary-looking bag spits out any object put into it. however, you may reach in to the bag and once for day take out another Bag of Many Bags, a Bag of Many Bags spits out other Bags of Many Bags if you attempt to put them in, but not the ones that are created daily.

Turn it inside-out and see what happens.


Hows about an umbrella of endless rain? Whilst not really much in DND terms i think that an umbrella that caused it to permanently rain on the holder would be pretty nifty for a trickster merchant.

Amphibious creatures need to keep their skin moist, and this seems like the thing to use for that. Alternatively, bring water to a dry desert town.


Vorpal Razor: Any cut inflicted with this razor while shaving is a vorpal hit.

ANY cut? Oh hoho! All I have to do is messily shave my enemies and I win!

[Randel]

Figurine of wonderous glower: A small figurine if a stern-faced crone. She glares at you if you try to actvate her like some kind of magic item. Will save or be stunned. Only targets the person trying to activate it.

Power of Wonderous Figure: A mystical amulet which when worn makes the wearer look muscular and dangerous like some kind of superhero (female users also gain The Most Common Superpower) This does not in fact make them any stronger, its just for looks.

Sound Effects Gloves: Boxing gloves which cause various dramatic sound effects to happen when they punch things, occasionally the cause flashes and the words BANG! PAMFF! KER-POW! to appear as well. also converts all damage to non-lethal damage and careful observation reveals that the hits always seem to miss by a fraction of an inch even when they 'hit'.

Shoes of the gentleman: dress shoes that let the wearer hover about a foot above ground. They can move at their normal speed without moving their legs but may not run or charge (or any other ungentlemanly action). They are also under a constant silence effect targeting only them. If they get muddy, they lose their power until cleaned.

Goggles of invisibility: When worn, the wearer cannot see any other person or creature as if all others were under a greater invisibility spell including them self.

Mirror of inversion: The mirror reflects vampires, but does not reflect non-vampires.

[TheCountAlucard]

Thanks, Gael_Judicium, for demonstrating to us the "Left Shoe of Triple-Posting." That'll make for a good item!

Towel of Drying - This towel is just absorbent enough to dry oneself off after a bath.

[Charlie Kemek]

a staff of desentigrate that makes a hole as deep as possible when used, or causes the ceiling to fall on you.
a wand of fly that fails at the worst time, and the slow falling doesn't happen.
a wand of disguise self etc. that stops working when you need it most.
staff of forcecage that only hits yourself
wand of hold person that hits only you.
etc.

[Eurus]

Seven-League Boots: I seem to remember something along these lines mentioned in another thread... Warps space around the user, allowing them to step over great distances (seven leagues) with each step. In theory, allowed the user to travel massive distances quickly, similar to the 'ruby slippers' of Oz. In practice, however, most people cannot survive a seven-league stride, and are ripped in half upon attempting such. XD If you want to be really mean, just have them become nonmagical after the first use, so the party can't come up with any loopholes once they figure it out.

Ring of Know Direction (or whatever it's called...): This ring identifies as a powerful magical item radiating Divination magic of caster level 20th. It is not possible to determine its exact function until it is put on, though. It allows the user to always know were north is, whatever plane they may be on.

Crystal Ball of Trickery: This crystal orb contains a malicious spirit. This creature has no scrying abilities whatsoever, so when someone tries to use the crystal ball, it simply whips up an illusion. This imp-like creature wishes its owner nothing but grievous harm and death, so it often skews its images to trick its wielders into the wrong course of action.

Cloak of Many Colors: This plain brown cloak radiates powerful Abjuration magic. When worn, it begins to glow in shifting, tie-dye colors. Apart from looking obnoxious and making anyone who stares at it for too long slightly nauseous, it's constant, unsuppressable glow makes it impossible for the wearer to hide, even while invisible; the cloak shrugs off all illusion magic like water. It cannot be removed by any means short of a Remove Curse or Break Enchantment. No real use here.

Sword of Screaming: It screams. Loudly. The moment you try to sheath it or put it away, in fact. Just barely not loud enough to cause any permanent or damaging effects, but easily loud enough to bring the city guard (or the beholder, or the purple worm...) running to your hiding spot. Cannot be gotten rid of once activated; it pops right back into the owner's hand a moment later. On the plus side, it is still a sword (possibly even a magical one), and a resourceful character might use it to get a bonus on demoralizing foes.

Anyway, some of them are supposed to have uses, right? Just... unusual ones. Like, the armor that turns you to stone; great to disguise yourself as a statue, as long as you're willing to risk someone being around when you turn back.

[chiasaur11]

Gray wand of Animal Obedience (Pet Rock)

Rubik's focus of confounding displeasure, a cube that will give ultimate power, activated upon each side having all the same colour, but was mistakenly given seven colours.

Ergonomic Sword, a perfectly ergonomic sword, easy to grip, low weight, and causes no pain to the wielder, however... It causes no pain to the enemy...

Great. Now any jerk with a can of paint can rule the world.

[Cirigan]

vile of salt to water- makes any water slightly more salty, it can't be used for anything beyond that, its worth slightly less then salt

ring of the 9 moods- tells the user how they feel using coolers

amulet of Mr. Obvious- it will inform you of blatantly obvious pieces of information

Ball of 8- mysterious black sphere that tells you random answers -or- will vaguely answer one question in your life that was never actually answered

[TigerHunter]

Rod of Uprightness: When placed vertically on the ground, this rod will not fall over unless intentionally removed by a sentient creature.

Ring of Reveal Alignment: Allows the user to see what direction any creature in view is facing.

[BRC]

Cloak of Billowing: this cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.
Critical Blade: With every swing, this longsword will inform it's wielder that their style sucks and offer suggjestions (If the wielder uses these suggjestions, it just starts on somthing else, none of the suggjestions actually impart any mechanical bonus).

Ring of Fortune Reversal: while wearing this ring, any roll of a natural one is treated as being a natural 20. Also, Anytime a natural 20 is rolled treat it as a natural 1
Other Ring of Fortune Reversal: Whenever the wearer rolls a d20, treat the difference between the result of the roll and 21 as the result of the roll as if they die was rolled normally.
(Formula, 21-(1d20)= result)

[streakster]

Sorry, Obvious, but you can't move it to build with it. Nice try though!

[JoshuaZ]

Not a specific recommendation but you may want to consider

the basement of Warehouse 23 (http://www.warehouse23.com/basement/box/) which has many weird user-submitted items. Many are science fiction rather than fantasy but could be easily adopted. (Warning! Warehouse 23 is very addictive).

[robotrobot2]

Pendant of Feather Falling-

To any magical or non-magical examination, this pendant appears to cast feather fall on the wearer whenever he falls more than 10 feet. (It doesn't)

Also, a use for the blindness/invisibility ring would be whenever a fight goes really bad and there's about to be TPK. You'll be blind, but you will also be invisible.

[Paragon Badger]

A sentient magic 8-Ball.

[MeTheGameGuy]

Ring of Magician's Bane - The wear may never be harmed by the effects of Prestidigitation.

Wow, that's useful!

Ring of Feather's Falling - When activated, as a regular Ring of Feather Falling, it polymorphs the wearer into a feather. They still suffer full falling damage, and cannot be turned back to normal until the next day.

Tome of Stupidity - This thin leaflet contains nothing, but intwined within the lack of words is a powerful magical effect. If anyone reads this leaflet, which takes a maximum time of two seconds (1/3 round), they are affected as if by a Feeblemind spell. This effect cannot be removed until next day. Once the leaflet is read, the magic does NOT disappear from the pages, remaining to capture the curiosity of other party members.

Slippers of Spider "Climbing" - When worn, these slippers polymorph the wearer into a non-poisonous, Fine spider, which is unable to climb. This effect can be broken as a regular Polymorph.

[Randel]

Chained Seven-league boots: Seven league boots which are a minor improvement over the 'rip you in half when you step' version. These ones are chained together to prevent the ripping, but have only 1 inch of really heavy duty chain holding them together. They also have heavy laces and bolts. A wearer must move at 5 ft a round to move normally. When activated they are flung rapily in the general direction they are facing and fall prone, they take damage if they hit a solid surface.


twenty nine and a half foot pole of touching: A 29.5 ft pole which can be used to deliver touch attacks. Made of a special magic wood, its colored white with red stripes and has an ornate hand on the end that looks like a four-fingered white glove. Its not particularly straight or stiff and the user takes a -10 penalty to touch attacks with it. (penalty could be changed by DM as needed)

Tavern compass: a compass that always points to the Nearest Tavern (an actual tavern in the town of Adventure)

Planar gear-shift: A lever that can be used to shift planes, however it isn't attached to anything to allow it to be pulled. Experimenting with it reveals that by setting against oneself and 'pulling' it allows the user to plane shift to their current plane to a point 5 feet in a random direction (including up or down). Sticking it against an inanimate object and pulling it can send and object to another random plane. The gear-shift cannot plane-shift itself.

Canteen of soda flavor: a canteen that flavors water to taste like root beer or some other soft drink.

Gingerbread Mouse: A small figurine of a mouse made of gingerbread, activating it causes it to run away.

[Randel]

Lesser slippers of spider climbing: The wearer may climb up the sides of water spouts with ease. However this effect is suppressed if the water spout is drenched with water (such as by rain).

[Hecore]

Ring of Lesser Translation - The wearer of this ring is treated as being under a constant Tongues effect, except that the translations the spell gives are always wrong, often hilariously so.

Crown of Worthiness - Whoever wears this crown believes they are a person of upmost importance, and cannot be convinced otherwise. Furthermore, the wearer acts and expects to be treated as such.

Coin of Fortune Telling - When you flip this coin you can ask it a simple yes or no question, and it will land either heads or tails to answer it. This coin is accurate 50% of the time.

Ivory Die of Misfortune - The owner of this die will always have it land in the way that would be disadvantagious to them. The owner is the person who last purchased the die.

Deck of Many Thongs - Each card pulled from this deck has a picture of a woman in lingerie. However, this woman will always appear to be the viewers mother.

Staff of the Titans - This staff is Gargantuan in size. It confers no special bonuses.

Dagger of Disarming - The holder of this dagger must attempt a Reflex save (19) every round they are in combat or the weapon will slip from their hands.

[MeTheGameGuy]

Lesser slippers of spider climbing: The wearer may climb up the sides of water spouts with ease. However this effect is suppressed if the water spout is drenched with water (such as by rain).

And once the water is gone, the wearer must make a Will save (DC 18), or be compelled to attempt the climb once more.

[lord of kobolds]

Horn of Sneaking:
While blowing on this horn full blast, the user's footsteps will never be heard.

[bigbang99211]

Glib Amulet - Amulet that spouts false information, makes fun of the wearer, tells one liners/bad puns/crude jokes, says "I knew that" after failed knowledge checks (well you never asked), and tries to seduce gemstones be they intelligent or not. Can transfer this property to any other item (so it can only leave it's wearer willingly). A DC 35 spellcraft check (or just asking, but don't tell the players this!) reveals that it's full name is Tom the Glib Amulet.

Cloak of Many Bats - A pitch-black hooded cloak that, when violently spread, conjures D100 fruit bats to scatter in all directions. The bats flee the area, doing absolutely nothing, but the user gets +1 to awesome for every bat that leaves the cloak.

Bilbil's Bad Bottle - An ornately-decorated bottle filled with a dark, viscous liquid. When the bottle is first found, everyone in the vicinity must make a DC 5 will save to avoid drinking from the bottle. After this, the bottle can be drank from willingly. Drinking from the bottle bestows a random magical or psionic effect on the imbiber, either taken from any table of random effects or chosen by the DM.

Scroll of Grow Facial Hair - The imbiber grows a random style of facial hair.

Box of Mysteries - A small, DC 35 locked box. Inside is a slip of paper that reads "You've solved the mystery!". DC 40 Search Check reveals a secret compartment under the box that contains another useless magic item.

Untie-able Rope - A length of rope covered in knots that can be untied.

Electric Lute - When played, the elderly become enraged while the youthful are captivated. Playing allows you to use Perform: Lute checks to deal heavy amounts of sonic damage to your foes (read: those who are not already slaves to your eternal awesomeness). All youths near you follow you as if you had the leadership feat, and the elderly will do their best to stay away (especially if you don't like them). Eventually, however, even the elderly will join you in your crusade to conquer the world with the sheer power of awesome. Amassing 10,000 or more followers with this item causes you to become a god, giving you your own temple and godly powers. Rolling a natural 1 does not cause you to critically fail with this item, making it completely foolproof. It is unbreakable and can be used as a +900 Greatclub of Lightning that deals damage as if made for a Colossal creature. (All uses require an amplifier, which you never give to the players.)

Ring of Visibility - The wearer is visible when worn. This does not affect hide checks, but it dispels invisibility and gives a +4 bonus to feeling dumb.

Ring of Heroic Entrance - Causes an obnoxious, superhero style theme song to play whenever you enter a room. Also causes you to light up like a disco ball, and dispels invisibility. After every use, make a will save (DC=# of total uses) to prevent going insane.

[Shades of Gray]

rod of 9th level spell transformation Lets you replace a spell of 9th level with a cantrip or orison. (Can also be a rod of 6th level, or rod of 3rd level)

[Collin152]

The Parchment of Truth:
The first line is always "Everything written on this parchment is a lie"

[ArtifexFelicis]

Belt of Clothes Changing= Upon putting on the belt, all of your clothes immediately change irreversibly to fit yourself if you were born of the other sex.

Ring of Rat- Summons 4d4 lecherous dire rats every ten minutes. They really love you.

[Lady Tialait]

Giant Pick : This Large Sized Gaitar pick gives a +2 bonus on using any tiny or smaller sized stringed instrument. That is, if you can use it.

Bowl of Water Breathing: This bowl can breath underwater.

Immovable pants: thease pants are emotionally unresponsive.

[Eurus]

Immovable pants: thease pants are emotionally unresponsive.

XD Too funny.

Cursed Ring of Diplomacy (A.K.A. Ring of 'Comedy'): This ring, an elegant silver band, identifies as a Ring of Diplomacy, granting the user a +4 bonus to diplomacy checks. Its true purpose is revealed the moment the wearer is addressed by any royalty. They immediately begin to spout a stream of horrifically dirty, inappropriate jokes, likely enraging the royal in question and prompting an instant arrest.

Scroll of the Ultimate Technique: This scroll, written on a parchment of dried skin in the blood of an epic-level monk, is written in a language too ancient and obscure to possibly be translated. It is resistant to the effects of Comprehend Languages, the Decipher Script skill, or anything else that would allow one to translate it. Even a character with the epic Polyglot feat cannot decipher it. Translating it requires an expedition to Limbo, and a 'donation' of 10,000 gold pieces to a Githzerai monastary to bribe the Master to translate it, revealing that it is, in fact... a cheesecake recipe. A very good cheesecake recipe, mind you, but still...

Blade of Rage: This blade causes the user to fill with a great rage when used in combat. This produces no mechanical effect whatsoever.

Armor of Spite: This suit of spiked full-plate functions as perfectly normal (or appropriately enchanted, whatever your preference) armor... until the wearer dies. It then instantly obliterates the body of the former wearer, making him/her substantially more difficult to resurrect, then vanishes with an evil chuckle.

Crown of Dazzling Beauty: This crown is dazzlingly beautiful; however, it confers no such benefit on its wearer. In fact, it actually makes the wearer look downright ugly in comparison, giving a -3 to all Charisma-based checks.

Bag of Leprechaun Gold (or Faerie Gold, whichever you prefer): An oldie but a goodie, this sack appears to be full of gold coins and jewels. When one attempts to spend them, however, the glamer on them soon vanishes, revealing them to be nothing but leaves and pebbles. Obviously, most shopkeepers will not be happy about this, and no amount of 'we didn't know, I swear!' will change their mind.

Everspinning Top: This perfectly balanced top will spin forever once started, unless someone knocks it down or moves it. It does so by drawing a barely-noticeable amount of energy from the area around it, so it doesn't actually produce any energy or mess up any of the laws of thermodynamics.

Gag Crossbow: This +4 Shocking Burst Vampiric Wounding Heavy Crossbow appears to be a weapon of great strength, loaded with a dozen bolts each somehow infused with a Maximized Fireball. When one attempts to fire it, though, the only reaction is a 'pthbbbt!' noise and a white flag inscribed 'Bang!' that pops out. The false enchantment of the arrows and crossbow then fades away.

Oathbow: This +Something Composite Longbow is obviously of elven origin, inscribed with numerous runes in an ancient elven dialect. When used against an enemy, it begins to sprout an endless stream of profanities ('oaths', if you will) in both Common and Elvish. This does not end until the enemy is defeated, and starts right back up again the next time it is fired.

[DHyjinx]

The rod of dramatic effects-A rod with a cute baby dragon figurine on top. It's shadow appears as an adult dragon only during lightning storms when held by major villains who have not yet been revealed to the heroes.

Ring of theme songs- Plays a song of your choice.

The true bastard sword- The sword goes into a rage when his creator is mentioned.

Mandolin of Uselessness- When played, the owner receives a -20 on their rolls during the performance.

The Lich King's Antimagic Phylactery- Exactly as it sounds.

[hylian chozo]

Reverse spiked armor: The spikes are on the inside.

Boots of walking: These boots are made for walkin'

Helm of underwater action: This is real, no joke (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#helmofUnderwaterAction).

[Collin152]

Helm of underwater action: This is real, no joke (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicItems/wondrousItems.htm#helmofUnderwaterAction).

But... using it to breathe negates its vision enhancing properties!

[Lady Tialait]

Boots of Sneaking Loudly: Thease boots give a +20 bonus on move silently checks, but anyone within 60ft. will hear them screaming 'I'M SNEAKING HERE LOOK AT ME'

Bag of Grabbing : This small leather bag will often streach off the owner and grab the bottoms of nearby members of the oposite sex.

Helmet of Enlightening : this helmet will allow anyone within 100ft to not only hear your thoughts but understand how you think.

[Grey Watcher]

A magical stick that causes the word, "WAND" to appear in the air directly in front of the wielder.

I think it should spit out spell names. Sort of like guns that pop out a little flag that says "BANG!"

[MeTheGameGuy]

Boots of Sneaking Loudly: Thease boots give a +20 bonus on move silently checks, but anyone within 60ft. will hear them screaming 'I'M SNEAKING HERE LOOK AT ME'


Maybe they should give a better bonus if they're screaming like that.... +20 isn't enough for a screaming pair of boots. Still a hilarious item, and one I'll be sure to get myself for all my sneaking work.

[hylian chozo]

I think it should spit out spell names. Sort of like guns that pop out a little flag that says "BANG!"

That is a great idea. I now cannot get the image of someone shooting the words "LIGHTNING BOLT!" at someone out of my head.

[Lady Tialait]

Tiara of Cuddly Cuteness : This moonshaped Tiara just screams to be cuddled. The wearer, nothing.

Sneaky Blade : Now where did I put that thing?

Duck of Many things : This duck lays 1d4 eggs a day, random mundane odditiys are found in the eggs. The duck tends to lay them in hidden places. For a random item from the eggs, roll on the 'Robe of Useful things' chart. (yes, that does include the mule)

Robe of Useless Things: This robe has random junk as patches on it. It works the same was as the Robe of Useful things. (but the gum wrapers still have a little flavor!)

[Corlis]

Wand of Time Stop: Instantly stops all clocks in a 20' radius.
Amulet of Prophecy: Every so often, causes the user to spontaneously prophesy about the fate or character of someone nearby. The prophecy is invariably true, but it is never something the recipient would want to hear - for example it may inform a king that he will soon die and have dogs eat his corpse. The recipients tend to get quite angry at the user after this.
Wand of Joy: Saying the command word causes it to vibrate softly.
Ring of Animal Speech: Lets you communicate with animals as the Speak With Animals spell. However you cannot communicate with anyone other than animals while wearing it, as all your speech comes out as grunts, hoots, warbles, and the like. Removing it requires a Remove Curse spell.
Two-Handed Sword: Has two handles, but no point.
Gauntlets of Ogre's [indecipherable]: The gauntlets have engravings of mighty Ogres on them, but the inscription that would tell you which Ogrish quality the gauntlets provide has been scratched out. Experimentation quickly provides the answer: their Intelligence score...

[Ganurath]

Scroll of Swift Explosion: The spell on this scroll explodes before it can even get off the pages, dealing 50 fire damage to the reader and everyone in the reader's square.

[MeTheGameGuy]

Two-Handed Sword: Has two handles, but no point.

Still useful. You could hold one handle and slash with the blade in the middle, or bludgeon with the other handle. You just lose piercing damage.

Rope of Knotting - This rope can be tied into knots.

[Cheesegear]

Invisiblade: You see a hilt. The blade identifies as a +5 Longsword with 15-20/x3 crit range. No roll for damage is needed, as it will always do a total of 0 damage (although the DM should still make the player roll for damage), as if the hilt didn't even have a blade attached to it at all...

[Ganurath]

Invisiblade: You see a hilt. The blade identifies as a +5 Longsword with 15-20/x3 crit range. No roll for damage is needed, as it will always do a total of 0 damage (although the DM should still make the player roll for damage), as if the hilt didn't even have a blade attached to it at all...This with Improved Feint will allow the Rogue to Sneak Attack with every swing.

[MeTheGameGuy]

This with Improved Feint will allow the Rogue to Sneak Attack with every swing.

Shh! Don't tell the rogue that!

What's Improved Feint? It isn't in my PHB.

[Ward.]

Boots of J-walking: Will only work if the use is aware of their purpose, has a 50% chance of throwing the wearer into traffic when ever any nearby form of vehicle or beast of burden attempts to walk in a straight line.


Glasses of infrovision: allows the use to see through any suitably large afro, can't actually see anything that might be hidden in it, just stuff on the other side.

[Ganurath]

Shh! Don't tell the rogue that!

What's Improved Feint? It isn't in my PHB.Check the SRD, it's a 3.5 feat. Requires Combat Expertise and lets you feint in combat as a move action.

[arkanis]

Infinite bag of holding:
Works more like a tiny-sized portal to the astral plane. Once something goes in it floats randomly in the astral plane with no guarantee or likelihood of ever coming near the bag again. Each use of the bag is the same spot but the items drift endlessly so all are too far to be retrieved using the bag normally.

Horn
Its a little horn when squeezed it makes a loud noise. It is very annoying.

Boots of Dance:
This grants a character a +5 bonus to Perform (dance) checks. However, if the character attempts to move while wearing them they are affected by the Irresistable Dance spell (CL 12th, Will DC19) except the spell is not a mind-affecting effect and the character can make one standard or move action per round while dancing.

Singing Sword
Every swing of the sword causes it to sing for 1 round. Every time the sword strikes something it vibrates and sings for 1d6 rounds. Its Perform (sing) check is equal to the wielders attack roll with it. The annoying singing serves as a distraction and makes the wielder and any other creature within 30 feet who can hear it dazzled every round it sings (DC19 Will save to resist). A successful save makes a character immune to the singing only until it is swung again.

Boots of Silence
These boots make a character extra quiet granting them a +5 bonus to Move Silently checks. But they also mute the character making them completely unable to speak or yell or make any noise from their normal vocal organs. The muting effect makes it impossible to use verbal components or to make Perform (sing) or Perform (oratory) checks. It also penalizes a -4 penalty to all Charisma-based skill checks and the DC of all mind-affecting abilities which are language dependant and/or use auditory components (such as Enthrall or Holy Word).

Bouncy Ball
It is a ball made of rubber. It bounces.

Spring Heels
These boots work just like boots of Striding and Springing except that whenever the character makes a Jump check, they always move the maximum distance possible with their Jump check, even if they intended to move less of a distance. If an obstacle impedes their path they take 1d6 falling damage per 10 feet they would have otherwise moved (no save or check to avoid) and provoke an AoO from all surrounding squares. The same effect happens when they attempt to move and automatically run at top speed to a maximum distance in the direction they've chosen. Because it is a forced effect when the character chooses to move, it requires only a move action but it may interrupt a character's other actions depending. A Will save DC19 prevents this effect for 1 round.

Amoir of Invulnerability
It's a large-sized amoir which appears to be made of wood but is actually made of pure force. It is completely invulnerable to all sorts of harm, although it can be moved just like it were a normal object weighing a little over 200 lb. Hiding inside the amoir provides full-cover but if the amoir is forcefully moved a distance more than 10ft. per round, any creature inside takes normal falling damage as if they'd fallen that distance (minus the first 10 feet). A tumble check reduces the damage.

Invisible Mask
This mask appears to the wearer/holder to be a normal mask, but when worn all those other than the wearer can see through it like glass (wearer may make a Will save DC19 to disbelieve this illusion).

Locking Glue
Applying this magical substance to a weapon allows it to hold steadfast onto the first wielder who holds it just as a locking gauntlet would. However, once it's locked on it cannot be taken off unless the item is destroyed or the wielder's hand amputated.

Helm of Invisibility
When putting on the helmet, it becomes completely invisible. The wearer must make a Will save DC19 to disbelieve that they themselves have become invisible instead of just the helmet. Success makes the wearer immune only until the helmet is removed otherwise they believe themselves invisible until it is removed.

Magical Mirror of Secrets
This magicla mirror can supposedly be asked any question and it will answer with a deep mystical truth. It actually only spouts lies and deceptions which attempt to get the asker in trouble, harm, or even killed. The Sense Motive DC to realize the mirror is lying is DC29.

Magician's Hat
As a move action a character can pull one of three items out of this hat:
-A tiny or smaller-sized animal
-A bouqet of flowers
-A random article of clothing costing no more than 1 silver
Once pulled out the item will randomly dissappear back from whence it came 1d6 rounds later. Only 3 items at a time can be out of the hat.

Fiesta Arrow or Bow
These arrows add a +20 bonus to attack rolls made with them (as if by Truestrike) but unfortunately they explode harmlessly into confetti upon contact with a target dealing no damage. The explosion does create the effects of the Glitterdust spell except that it dazzles creatures instead of blinding them and the dust can be shaken off harmlessly with a DC15 Reflex save (CL12th, Will DC19).

Backbiting Weapon
These powerful +5 Vorpal Flaming Acidic Keen Speed weapons always treat their wielder as if they were under the effects of the Backbiter spell. No save is given. The only way to resist is to not use the weapon.

Wand of Teleportation
Upon a successful use of this wand it teleports to the designated location as normal by the Dimension Door spell or Teleport spell (wielder's option). It does not however, take the wielder with it and leave them there dumbfounded. A Spellcraft DC31 detects this tricky item.

Cloak of "I"
This cloak is covered in poorly written "I" and "i". Why anyone would think this was fashionable is beyond me.

Cloak of Ice
This cloak appears to be a blue cloak of magical power until someone actually puts it on and realize it actually is made of self-sustaining ice. Wearing the cloak deals 1 nonlethal cold damage to the wearer every minute.

Axe of Pain
The axe is always moaning and groaning with pain. It works much like the Singing Sword except it has no performance, it just whines and complains.

Ring of Protection
While wearing this ring, the wearer is completely sterile and cannot reproduce. A Fortitude save DC19 shakes off this effect for 24 hours.

Armor of Arrow Catching
Once per round any arrow or arrow-like projectle which is fired into, from, or past a 30-foot radius around the wearer is caught and instead targets the wearer instead of the normal target (same attack roll). If the wearer was the original target this instead reduces the wearer's AC against the attack by 2.

Ring of Regeneration
The ring regenerates as if a living creature with Regeneration 5 (acid and fire deal normal damage). If it is completely destroyed it comes back together after 1d6 rounds.

Rod of Flailing
Whenever a character attempts to wield the rod, they must make a DC19 Will save or be caused to flail randomly by the wand. This works just like the Boots of Dance except it adds no bonus to Perform (Dance) checks and causes the character to flail instead of dance.

Crystal Ball
A ball made of pure crystal. Very delicate. Any attempt to scry with it causes it to shatter.

Criztal Ball
A glass ball which grants a character perfect 20/20 vision when looking through it. All vision impairments (except blindness) are eliminated while looking through this ball.

Monk's Belt
When worn, a 12th level Lawful Human Monk NPC instantly knows the location of the wearer and they seek out the wearer hunting them down until they can get their belt back. The monk is usually about 1d% miles away from the wearer when it is first put on. No save to resist this effect.

Bottle of Air
It's a bottle. Full of air. Congratulations.

Eversmoking Bottle/Towel "Towelie"
This diminutive bottle/small towel is permanently animated as if by the animate object spell except it is also intelligent possessing Int 19, Wis 9, and Cha 14. It's only directive in life is to smoke the strongest substances it can find and will even perform favors and tasks in exchange for opium, tobacco, pipes, and other smoking supplies.

Gauntlet of Rust
This gauntlet is completely rusted. Wearing them penalize the wearer with a -2 penalty to all attack rolls, sleight of hand checks, open lock checks, disable device checks, and use magic device checks.

Goggle of Night
These goggles make everything appear dark as if by night-time when worn making wearers suffer Spot penalties as if they were in low-light. The goggles are difficult to remove requiring a full-round action or one move action every round for 3 rounds.

Helm of Underwater Action
Thise helm when worn makes a wearer extremely attractive to Tritons, Merfolk, and other aquatic creatures. Aquatic creatures within 60 feet of a wearer must make a DC19 Will save or become charmed by the wearer until they leave the radius. Nonlawful and nongood creatures under these effects will instead become infatuated by the wearer and attempt to engage in sexual intercourse with them...with or without their permission. Creatures will even be willing to knock the wearer unconscious and kill or knock out any other creature trying to stop them to satisfy their desires before moving on back to their normal lives. Multiple creatures under these effects often work together to achieve their mutual goal. The effects of this item last until the creatures leave the radius or satisfy their desires (making them immune for 24 hours).

Instant Fortress
This works like the normal item of the same name except the Fortress lasts only 1 round before returning to a metal cube.

Manual of Quickness of Action
This makes any wearer unable to engage in sexual or sensual or any intimate relations (including kissing, groping) for no more than 1d6 minutes before they become fatigued. A Fortitude save DC19 shakes off the effects for another 1d6 minutes.

Necklace of Fireballs
It appears to be a necklace made of red pearls, until picked up and the wearer realizes it's actually made of tiny fireballs dealing 1d3 points of fire damage to anyone who dares touch it. They provide light they were a torch. Spot DC20 notices these are made of fire before grabbing them.

Phylactery of Faithfulness
When worn, this phylactery makes a wearer unable to engage in intimidate relations (kissing, groping, sex) with any being other than the one they are currently married to. A creature with multiple marriage partner only considers their latest to be their current. A creature with no marriage partner cannot be intimdate with anyone. A creature with no concept of marriage can only be intimate with the first creature they mate with and no other until this item is removed. A Will save DC19 shakes off this effect for 24 hours although it leaves the creature wracked with guilt and fatigued for 24 hours as well.

Pipes of the Sewers
Sewage pipes. Ewww. Why are these here?

Robes of the Archmagi
As Monk's Belt (see above) except the NPC is a Wizard instead of Monk.

Stone Horse
It's a statue of a horse...why is it here?

Wind Fan
It's a fan that when the command word is spoken will fan a person on its own as if it were a dancing weapon. Unfortunately, it keeps fanning harder and harder moving from a gentle breeze (first 10 rounds), to strong wind (round 11-20), to very strong wind (round 21-30), to hurricane (round 31-40), to tornado (round 41-50) and then stops at 50th round. Once started, it cannot be stopped although it can be destroyed.

[streakster]

Found ones I used in an old thread.

The Doom Bell - When struck, everyone hears this bell. Everyone. Every being on every plane, every god, every demon and devil, the animals, the living, the dead - everyone and everything. It is said to be the bell that will herald the end of the world.

The Domesday Book - When opened, contains a full page of detailed information about the subject the opener was thinking of. This information is all lies.

[bigbang99211]

Full Plate of One - The wearer cannot use his arms, legs, eyes, mouth, or ears while the Full Plate of One is equipped. This item can only be removed with a remove curse spell or if someone else removes the armor. Also gives a temporary +10 to a player's wisdom modifier, and he also learns everything about the armor. Since the wearer can't talk, he can't say that he wants the armor off, or that the armor can be removed simply by one of them pulling it off. Otherwise, it is just a normal suit of full plate.

Helm of the Higher Way - Nobody can take your cart or significant other, and you cannot be beheaded while wearing the helm.

Miniature Grinding Wheel - The miniature grinding wheel's operation is to sharpen weapons, though you can also pound your enemies with it as if you were using a -2 cursed club without the usual penalty for improvised weapons.

Illibin's Incredible Map - This map provides the longest and most treacherous route to any destination simply by stating where you are, where you want to be, and then opening the map.

Crown of the True King - If the wearer is the true king, the crown grants +yes to all positive numerals present in the character. If the wearer is not the true king, the crown says "You are not the true king" very loudly at the most inopportune moments.

Axe of Usefulness - Multiplies the damage by 3 if, for any reason, the damage being dealt is equal to zero.

Sword of Big Numbers - Says "Big numbers baby, come on!" whenever it is swung, but always deals 1 damage or less.

Intoxicating Ring - The wearer is drunk as if he just drank D% gallons of ale.

Flashy Clothes - These look like some of the finest woven clothes you've ever seen, but as soon as someone puts them on they begin to flash like a strobe light. The wearer gets -1000 to hide checks, and everyone who can see the wearer (including the wearer) has to make a will save. The wearer gets -5 to his result.

0-5: Blinded
10-20: Stunned
21-30: Looks away
30+: Resists

This check must be made every round someone can see the wearer, with a -1 to the result for each round.

Ring of Conceal Alignment - Nobody can use magic to tell which direction you are facing.

Compass of the Only True Path - A compass that points to wherever the DM wants you to go.

[Collin152]

Wand of Joy: Saying the command word causes it to vibrate softly.


Does it come with a mirror?

[Sacrath]

Wow, thanks guys. They ended up attacking him in an attempt to steal his bag (they don't know where the rogue went) so it was kind of moot. I might make him come back later though, these items are amazing.

Intoxicating Ring is kind of lethal...

But the ring of conceal alignment is right on the ticket. Something you can say the name of without them getting it.
I'll have to add a clause in Jack's agreements that if you try it you buy it... they are gonna wise up quickly.

[Mewtarthio]

The Fork of Horripilation

This unique artifact weapon is held sacred by those who worship deities of madness. The Fork has the power to horripilate the enemies of the weilder, dealing horripilated damage instead of normal damage. Horripilated damage bypass all DR and can only be healed with natural rest. While holding The Fork of Horripilation in hand, the weilder is incapable of using any extraordinary, supernatural, or spell-like special attacks, including all spellcasting, psionics, and martial maneuvers. Regardless of any special qualities, ability scores, or feats possessed by the weilder, the Fork deals 1 point of horripilated damage on each hit.

Prophylactic of Joy

When worn, this prophylactic ensures a 100% fertility rate.

Potion of True Happiness

The imbiber of this potion achieves true happiness. The effect only lasts for one second, which is not long enough to achieve any mechanical impact whatsoever (unless it triggers some obscure clause in a gypsy curse).

[Krimm_Blackleaf]

Clock of Temporal Stasis
This water-clock of perfect design and build is locked in temporal stasis. It's time is constantly locked at 4:13 and cannot be fixed by any means. Many imitations are simply broken clocks.

[lord of kobolds]

boots of elvendom: regular boots that can only be worn by elves.

boots of levitation: boots levitate when not worn

boots of tapdancing: boots provide great skill at tapdancing. wearer must already know how to tapdance very very well.

[lord of kobolds]

Boots of J-walking: Will only work if the use is aware of their purpose, has a 50% chance of throwing the wearer into traffic when ever any nearby form of vehicle or beast of burden attempts to walk in a straight line.


Glasses of infrovision: allows the use to see through any suitably large afro, can't actually see anything that might be hidden in it, just stuff on the other side.

those glasses would be very helpful if stuck behind my best friend in a theatre

[[Insert Neat Username Here]]

These are a few variations of the immovable rod i've seen on this forum (I didn't invent any, sorry if they've already been posted):

Movable rod: functions similarly, but doesn't take nearly as much effort to move (DC 14 STR check or 70 pounds of pressure)

Rod of inertia: Moves at the same velocity it's moving at when you press the button. Works like an immovable rod when you test it; when you use it to stop falling, it does nothing.

Relatively immovable rod: always at the same distance and direction from some arbitrary object. Could be anything from a PC to a speck of sand in a sandstorm.

[Surfing HalfOrc]

I didn't go through every page, so I'm hoping I'm not duplicating someone elses ideas.

Least Ring of Invisibility Wearer becomes invisible only when no one is looking at them.

Blue Camel Flying Carpet Flies one person, as long as that person doesn't think about blue camels.

[Mewtarthio]

;4283688']Rod of inertia: Moves at the same velocity it's moving at when you press the button. Works like an immovable rod when you test it; when you use it to stop falling, it does nothing.

Jump upwards and press the button as soon as your feet leave the ground. Hop off a cliff and press the button before you've fallen so much as a yard downwards. This is a very useful item.

[Solo]

Personal Soundtrack T-shirt (http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/a5bf/): This amazing new wearable shirt features a Ghost Sound enchantment embedded into it. When you activate the shirt with a tune in mind, you get music or sound effects appropriate for any situation.

[Bhu]

:smallbiggrin:How evil are we allowed to be

[Rockphed]

;4283688']Relatively immovable rod: always at the same distance and direction from some arbitrary object. Could be anything from a PC to a speck of sand in a sandstorm.

Would it be possible to determine what the object is, or is it generated each time the button is pressed?

[Mando Knight]

Boots of walking: These boots are made for walkin'

Blast. I was too late. I was going to suggest them... here's a bit of effect for them:

Boots of Walking: The wearer of the boots cannot run, nor can he take a double move action, and takes a -5 to Tumble checks. These boots are made for walkin', and that's just what they'll do.

[MeTheGameGuy]

;4283688']
Rod of inertia: Moves at the same velocity it's moving at when you press the button. Works like an immovable rod when you test it; when you use it to stop falling, it does nothing.


I want one of those. Very useful. For example, run for a little bit, holding one over your head, then push the button. The rod carries you the way you were running! Useful for transport - just put a saddle or something on the rod, and ride! The rod needs no food, can fly over obstacles, can't be harmed, and can be tucked into a pocket when not in use. Want to fly? Jump and push the button in mid-air. Also functions as an immovable rod normally whenever you can hold it still.

Also, the falling situation can be remedied with this. Just throw it upwards with one hand, and push the button with the other hand as the rod flies upwards. (Be sure to grab it afterwards!) The rod will fly back up to wherever you fell from too!

This rod will also pull on ropes for you - just tie the rope on, and throw the rod so the button hits the ground. The rod could also push large objects along.

[lord of kobolds]

:smallbiggrin:How evil are we allowed to be

VERY,VERY, EVIL

[MeTheGameGuy]

The "I Wanna Be The Guy" Cape - While wearing this red cape, the wearer multiplies all damage dealt AGAINST them by 5000, and if killed is sliced in half, sending blood flying all over the screen, I mean room. Things that deal no damage normally are treated as dealing 1/2 damage. Yes, that includes apples. If the wearer also wears a pink bow in their hair, the damage multiplier is only 4999.

[MeTheGameGuy]

The "I Wanna Be The Guy" Cape - While wearing this red cape, the wearer multiplies all damage dealt AGAINST them by 5000, and if killed is sliced in half, sending blood flying all over the screen, I mean room. Things that deal no damage normally are treated as dealing 1/2 hp damage. Yes, that includes apples. It also casts random spells on things in any way to make them hurt you. The wearer's damage is multiplied by 0. If the wearer also wears a pink bow in their hair, the damage multiplier is only 4999. This cape is a quest item - it must be worn for some quest thing (DM decides).

[MeTheGameGuy]

The "I Wanna Be The Guy" Cape - While wearing this red cape, the wearer multiplies all damage dealt AGAINST them by 5000, and if killed is sliced in half, sending blood flying all over the screen, I mean room. Things that deal no damage normally are treated as dealing 1/2 hp damage. Yes, that includes apples. It also casts random spells on things in any way to make them hurt you. The wearer's damage dealt in any way is multiplied by 0. Non-damage effects, such as save-or-die spells cast by the wearer, are negated as if fizzled. If the wearer also wears a pink bow in their hair, the damage multiplier is only 4999. This cape is a quest item - it must be worn for some quest thing (DM decides).

[MeTheGameGuy]

The "I Wanna Be The Guy" Cape - While wearing this red cape, the wearer multiplies all damage dealt AGAINST them by 5000, and if killed is sliced in half, sending blood flying all over the screen, I mean room. Things that deal no damage normally are treated as dealing 1/2 hp damage. Yes, that includes apples. It also casts random spells on things in any way to make them hurt you. The wearer's damage dealt in any way is multiplied by 0. Non-damage effects, such as save-or-die spells cast by the wearer, are negated as if fizzled. If the wearer also wears a pink bow in their hair, the damage multiplier is only 4999. This cape is a quest item - it must be worn for some quest thing (DM decides).

Evil enough for you? :smalltongue:

EDIT: Oops, that's a lot of posts. Sorry! Browser didn't post properly...

[Mooch]

Crappy thing of Uselessness

a childs doll that looks beat up, has a very strong magical aura (borderline artifact)

effect: nothing (its just a doll)

[MorkaisChosen]

That is a great idea. I now cannot get the image of someone shooting the words "LIGHTNING BOLT!" at someone out of my head.

SONIC!

This post contains characters.

[BRC]

Staff of the Prismatic Sphere: 3/day summons a randomly colored magical sphere.
(Whenever they use it, the DM throws a skittle and/or M&M at the player)

[Zyme]

cocked die-
this die will never land on a side it will always find somehow to perfectly lay on an edge between two numbers.

coin of implausibility-
no matter how many times this coin is flipped it will land and balance on it's side.

[Duke of URL]

Staff of Disintegration: The staff disintegrates upon use.

Bracers of Archery Practice: You appear as a bullseye target to any creature equipped with a ranged weapon.

Staff of Taming: For those especially nasty hair tangles.

Rod Of Lordly Mite: You can command an army of dust mites; usable only by dust mites.

Portable Hole: Practice your golfing anywhere!

Necklace of Fireballs: Need I say more?

Ring of Protection: Does not require a ring slot. Protects against certain diseases and unplanned parenthood. Single use.

[MorkaisChosen]

Hand of the Mage- This hand used to be part of a Mage. Now it isn't. It has no magical properties, but could be used as bait for a hungry ghoul.

[curtis]

Wand of Create Wand: Creates a Wand of Create Wand or Wand of Create Staff.
Wand of Create Staff: Creates a Staff of Create Wand or Staff of Create Staff.
Staff of Create Wand: Creates a Wand of Create Wand or Wand of Create Staff.
Staff of Create Staff: Creates a Staff of Create Wand or Staff of Create Staff.
Ring of Invisibility: Turns the wearers clothes and armor invisible.
Slot Machine of Exploding: Roll 1d20. On a roll of 20, recieve 1cp. Otherwise, explodes, causing 100d20 damage.

[DanielX]

lightsaber - this unique weapon is absolutely identical to a normal +0 saber, except it weighs 1 lb. less.

Wand of ice - a wand made of ice. holding it more than 1d4 minutes will cause the wand to melt.

Exploding banana - the item appears to be a normal banana. However, attempting to peel it causes it to explode, causing 2d20 non-lethal damage.

Wand of ukodus - zapping this wand generates a scroll with a random sudoku puzzle. If the player solves the sudoku puzzle within 4d4 minutes, they receive 1d4 cp and the scroll disappears. If they do not, the scroll explodes, causing (character level/2)*d20 damage.

Boots of mime detection - whenever a mime approaches within 60 feet of the wearer, the boots scream "LOOK OUT! A MIME! AAAAHHHHH!".

Dungeons and Dragons, 4th Edition: Player Hand Book, Dungeon Master's Guide and dice set - allows your PCs to waste time playing Dungeons and Dragons. Has absolutely no affect on combat.

Cape Feather - grabbing this feather results in the feather disappearing and gives the player a snazzy cape. This cape does nothing whatsoever other than look cool and billow in the wind.

[Atticus Bleak]

First, love this monster, second, my personal favorite "epic level magic item."

Every religion has a story of how the end of the world will come. All but one of them are wrong. This jet black longsword is an artifact from one of the religions that is wrong. It is absolutely convinced its wielder, ANY wielder, is meant to bring about the end of all time, and announces this in the mind of and person picking it up. This is its only power, and the owner is of no compulsion to complete this prophesy or even wield the blade. The blade, despite claiming to be a powerful magic item, infact does 1d4-10 damage.

Yours,
Atticus Bleak

[MeTheGameGuy]

Wand of Create Wand: Creates a Wand of Create Wand or Wand of Create Staff.
Wand of Create Staff: Creates a Staff of Create Wand or Staff of Create Staff.
Staff of Create Wand: Creates a Wand of Create Wand or Wand of Create Staff.
Staff of Create Staff: Creates a Staff of Create Wand or Staff of Create Staff.

Spam the universe with wands and staves until the DM's head explodes.

[Daegann Darrow]

Evermoist Boots- These boots appear magical but case no magical effect other than to be uncomfortably squishy and cold between the toes. promotes athletes foot.

Lens of eyelashes- This magical lens grants a +10 bonus to search and spot checks, until one actually attempts a search or spot check. The user is immediately afflicted with an eyelash under the lens.

Feather Duster of Destruction-Anything you attempt to dust with this feather duster explodes epically

Mirror of shattering- Any attempt to identify or use the mirror will cause it to shatter loudly.

Wand of roman candles-This wand is brightly colored, flimsy, and smells faintly of saltpeter. When speaking the command word one end of the wand will ignite for anywhere between 0 and 20 seconds. It will then launch small balls of colored fire in any direction the user pleases, causing no damage.

Flakyfoot bag-An alchemical mixture stuffed into a little bag, can be used as a grenade-like weapon to cause severe athletes foot.

Helm of darkvision- This helm is mundane and has no eyeholes

[Daegann Darrow]

Yankoviciang Music Box-When opened plays odd music that is mildly annoying yet strangely enjoyable. Songs include "rye or the Kaiser" and "Eat it"

Helm of Dain Bramage-When equipped the user is immediately struck on teh head by a large rock that has no apparent origin. Velocity of the rock is always enough to deal 1/4 hp in damage, and the angle of descent is random.

Apparatus of Budd-THis item appears to be the same age as the Apparatus of Kwalish, however it is much smaller and has a faded, musty ribbon attached to it that says "2nd Place" (It's a pogo stick)

Daerns Instant Oatmeal-A small adamantite cube that folds out into a small bowl of lukewarm oatmeal.

[MeTheGameGuy]

Yankoviciang Music Box-When opened plays odd music that is mildly annoying yet strangely enjoyable. Songs include "rye or the Kaiser" and "Eat it".

That is the most useful item in existence. Provides hours of entertainment outside battles, distracts enemies for up to weeks, depending on how many songs it knows, that is.

[curtis]

Ring of Altar Self: When worn, it turns you into an altar.

[Kenori]

Crappy thing of Uselessness

a childs doll that looks beat up, has a very strong magical aura (borderline artifact)

effect: nothing (its just a doll)

That was actually something my Fighter/Paladin used a lot. He had a little doll that he used as a divine focus. The DM ruled that because it was always having energy channelled through it, but it wasnt a normal focus that it would give off a magical aura akin to an artifact.

We were always being chased by Angels who wanted to protect it, or Devils that wanted to destroy it. But it did nothing but focus my spells.

[chiasaur11]

Feather Duster of Destruction-Anything you attempt to dust with this feather duster explodes epically


Okay, this one is broken.

It even might be able to kill Pun-Pun if he didn't avoid it in one of the billions of methods available to him. Let alone the Lady of Pain.

Duck of indetectibility.
This Duck can function as a helm. The wearer, upon donning it, must make a 70 dc will save or else be completely unable to detect the duck by any means, magical, mundane or divine. No other individuals are affected.

[Pie Guy]

Echanted dagger: A dagger ([DAGGER DAMAGE DICE HERE]), that due to it's enchanted nature, doesn't work in AMFs.

Runed gauntlet: A gauntlet that when looked at casts explosive runes.

Flaming sword: When picked up, causes 4d6 damage to a wielder's hands, and 4d4 damage to the wielder every round.

[Nomadic]

Decanter of Endless Slaughter:
Looks exactly like a Decanter of endless water. Unstoppering it though will cause a gush of blood to pour forth accompanied by agonizing screams

Wand of Implosion:
When used the wand implodes with a small bang.

Boots of Wall Climbing:
When given a command word the boots will jump off the wearers feet and climb up the nearest wall, halting at the top.

Keen Sword
When wielded the sword will insult the wielder. If the wielder retorts it will fire back with witty comments attempting to humiliate the wielder and their "inferior intellect". The sword has no other properties.

[Collin152]

Rod of Direction:
This shaft always points north, producing an effect similar to a know direction spell.
No force can cause it to change its direction, unless the position of "north" changes relative to the rod.

[Danzaver]

[I]Hello, my name is Patchwork Jack-
Won't you take a look inside my sack?


....

If your players laugh as hard as I did just now, the mood will be ruined and your specially made monster (who is very cool by the way) will not be taken seriously.

Just a heads up. I know in my game I have to be very careful about this stuff if I want any mood at all. XD

[Aleron]

Bouncy Ball
It is a ball made of rubber. It bounces.
Hey now...don't knock the Bouncy Ball. My old DM used one of these as a trap to crush me, repeatedly. Granted, it was about the size of the Indiana Jones Boulder....but it was still a "Bouncy Ball"

[Charlie Kemek]

Immovable rod: This rod, while almost identical to a normal rod, when the button is pressed, it will not move, and will "leave," as the earth moves around the sun, and the sun moves.

[Jack_Simth]

Infinite bag of holding:
Works more like a tiny-sized portal to the astral plane. Once something goes in it floats randomly in the astral plane with no guarantee or likelihood of ever coming near the bag again. Each use of the bag is the same spot but the items drift endlessly so all are too far to be retrieved using the bag normally.

Get a lot of string. Tie to something too large to fit through the opening. Tie other end of string to an item you wish to store, and toss the item in. As they only drift, you can later retrieve the item by pulling on the appropriate string. As the something is too large to go through the opening, the string is always available for tugging. Infinite storage capacity, just make sure you've got a reasonable Use Rope check.



The Domesday Book - When opened, contains a full page of detailed information about the subject the opener was thinking of. This information is all lies.
Very useful once you figure it out. Simply think of a subject that's limited to what amounts to yes/no answers. You can do the same with similar "always lies" objects. Doesn't work so hot on "random answer" objects, though.

Edit:
Hmm... what's another one?
Ah:
The Purple Heart
This still-beating heart is purple, and registers as magical. If installed in place of a person's existing heart (it comes with instructions on how to do this, and keep the target alive during the replacement) it grants the implantee a +2 bonus to constitution and regeneration 1. However, 1d4 hours later, the magic of the heart fades, and it stops beating, killing the implantee with no save.

[Eurus]

Get a lot of string. Tie to something too large to fit through the opening. Tie other end of string to an item you wish to store, and toss the item in. As they only drift, you can later retrieve the item by pulling on the appropriate string. As the something is too large to go through the opening, the string is always available for tugging. Infinite storage capacity, just make sure you've got a reasonable Use Rope check.

Githyanki Pirate: *Moseys along, robbing traveling wizards and slicing astral cords.* Oh? What's this? A large quantity of magic items floating unattended by convenient towing strings? Huh, what to do, what to do... *Yoink!*


See? Not the wisest thing to do. XD Unless you cover them with some kind of quick-drying sovereign glue and use it to catch traveling adventurers... That would actually be really funny. Kind of like a reverse Bag of Devouring. XD

[Demonic]

Map Paper of Traps and Secrets
This paper, when used to create a map of an area, automatically adds any trap, secrets, or items of interest in the mapped area that are known to the mapmaker. It only charts as detailed information as the mapmaker knows, leaving unkown things unmarked.

Compass of Circling
This compass points north at first. When used, it begins to unnoticably reorient in a clockwise direction, first pointing east, then south, eventually north again, eventually leading it's user in a circle.

Clown Nose of Laughter
This small red ball will instantly affix itself to any nose it comes in contact with, as long as it is the nose of the person holding it. The person is afflicted with Hideous Laughter.

[Lady Tialait]

Tome of Bladder : This book will teach you how to told it for upto 8 hours!

Tome of Vial Darkness: Inside of this most insideous book lies the secrete to captureing poor innocent squid. Once caught, this tome teaches that if you tickle said squid, you will gain their Ink. Darkening a Vial. Enjoy.

Manual of the Planes: This Manual tells you how to get the motherf***n' snakes off the motherf***n' plane.

[Job]

A self-driving nail:

Place the point against wood, and a few seconds later it hammers itself into place. Make sure they only ever get one. :smallsmile:

[Fiery Diamond]

Githyanki Pirate: *Moseys along, robbing traveling wizards and slicing astral cords.* Oh? What's this? A large quantity of magic items floating unattended by convenient towing strings? Huh, what to do, what to do... *Yoink!*


See? Not the wisest thing to do. XD Unless you cover them with some kind of quick-drying sovereign glue and use it to catch traveling adventurers... That would actually be really funny. Kind of like a reverse Bag of Devouring. XD

This depends on the setting. If the DM decided not to have astral planar critters be very plentiful (ie, no githyanki or similar randomly wandering) then this method could be used. But by default, yeah, you make a good point.

[D&DCapone]

Ring of Violent Vomit-Whenever you puke your own puke attacks you and follows you around making a horrible stink you get a -4 to hide checks when facing characters with strong sense of smell.

[Aleron]

Here's one I plan on using in mine.

Everfresh Rose

The Everfresh Rose is a rose made of paper that smells as a real rose at it's most fragrent. The smell never fades and if the rose ever is ever crumpled, burned, or otherwise destroyed it will return to it's origonal state 1d4-1 rounds later.

[lord of kobolds]

A self-driving nail:

Place the point against wood, and a few seconds later it hammers itself into place. Make sure they only ever get one. :smallsmile:

Place a thin piec of wood on someone, and use the nail.
easy assassination.

[lordofthe_wog]

Glass Claymore (Morrowind inspired in name only): This +5 Huge Vorpal Greatsword can be wielded by any creature of any size as a one handed weapon with no penalty, and seems to be made of adamantine. However, when it touches anything solid while being held, it explodes into thousands of glass shards, aimed directly at the wielder. The glass shards automatically do 7d6 points of piercing damage to the wielder. Often found four or five at a time.

[PhallicWarrior]

I had to say it...

Goggles: They do nothing.
Ethereal Scroll of Ethereal jaunt: Speaks for itself.
Rod of Disintegrate: Upon activating the rod, the user is disintegrated.
Box of Voice Diguising: Small wooden box containing scarves that, when wrapped around the face, bandito style, confer a random, usually cheesy, accent upon the wearer.

[Innis Cabal]

a potion that grows half a mustache on your face, regardless of gender

[MorkaisChosen]

Duck of indetectibility.
This Duck can function as a helm. The wearer, upon donning it, must make a 70 dc will save or else be completely unable to detect the duck by any means, magical, mundane or divine. No other individuals are affected.

What duck?

Omniscope

This small mirror is in fact a major artifact. It can scry on any place in the multiverse, with no possible non-epic defences working against it.

The problem is, you have to aim the sensor manually, using four small dials- one controls the plane seting, the other three the spacial coordinates. The coordinates are marked in an ancient language (DC40 Decipher Script to understand) and follow an incredibly bizarre system.

All this basically means that all you'r going to be able to do with the mirror is stare into empty space.

[Autumn Blooming]

Rod of Disintegrate: Upon activating the rod, the user is disintegrated.

Well, whaddaya know... heh... it disintegrated!

The Warlock's Wheel: This is a metal top. When spun, it will begin to accelerate until it reaches the speed of light and then creates an antimagic zone of 20 feet in diameter. At this point, the magic accelerating the top fails, and it explodes violently, dealing 2d6 damage to all within 20 feet.

[Waspinator]

Ring of Visual Sounds:
http://www.cityofheroes.com/news/archives/2008/04/city_of_heroes_47.html
Every action that the wearer peforms causes large block letters to appear in midair. They usually have some relevance to the action, such as "FOOM!" for a fireball, "BAM!" for a punch, or "BATMAN'D!" if the user's parents die.

[Soup of Kings]

Bag of Holding Type 0: When the command word is uttered, this small leather bag gently caresses the user.

Goggles of Minute Seeing: The lenses of these goggles, when worn, flash green once every ten rounds. :smallbiggrin:

Glove of the Moonwalker: While wearing this sequined white glove, the user is affected as by Otto's Irresistible Dance

[Hairb]

The Malicious Choker of (Perform Skill): Provides a +10 bonus to one Perform skill (Epics, Oratory etc). Whenever this skill is used by the wearer, all members of the audience must make a DC19 Will save or become drowsy and fall asleep 1d4 rounds later.

Rings of the Mother Bear
A pair of plain bands, one pewter, one bronze. When the wearer of the bronze ring is not the closest creature to the wearer of the pewter ring, it enters a rage as a first level barbarian, treating all creatures closer to the pewter ring's wearer as enemies. After the rage ends, the rings become inert for 24 hours.

Ring of the Best Man
The ring will cause its owner's best friend to swallow it, drop it in a latrine, pawn it while drunk, accidently feed it to a beloved pet or otherwise lose it under humerous circumstances, through the means of a Geas spell. Once lost, the ring remains inert until claimed by a new owner.

Bag of Holding - Epic Edition
This ordinary looking leather bag contains the entire universe. Including the bag. Any attempts to invert the bag divides all creatures and objects within it (including itself) by zero.

[Hairb]

Rod of the Comets
The sceptre feature a radiant golden bauble on one end, and a small button on the other. When the button is pressed, the rod and its bearer immediately enter an eccentric orbit around the sun. While the bearer is visible in her home planet's sky, all inhabitants take a -10 luck penalty to all checks, saves and attack rolls. One use only.

[Wraithy]

Its not a scratch on some of the other items in this thread, but:

Gauntlets of Ogre Piss
"these gauntlets seem partially rusted, and drip with a smelly yellow liquid"
The wearer can cast create water as the spell as an immediate action at will, but with ogre urine and infinite range, you must still have a line of sight to the target.

[Ceaon]

Tome of Understanding: One can write in this tome. It makes you feel understood.

Goggles of Day: The lenses of this item are made of light crystal. Even though the lenses are opaque, when placed over the eyes of the wearer they enable him to see like it was nighttime. Both lenses must be worn for the magic to be effective.

Robe of the Commoner: This robe changes the wearer in significant ways. His base attack bonus changes to half his level. All his base saves turn into the low variant. He loses all class features, including spell casting. Worn magic items, except this one, lose their function. The wearer now is forced to introduce himself as first name last name, the commoner.

[Lady Tialait]

Card of Shock: Deals 2 Electricity damage to the holder.

Bottle of Endless Nothing: There is an endless amount of nothing in this bottle, no matter how much you pour out the nothing, more will still be in the bottle. The magical effect is suppressed when you fill the bottle with anything but nothing.

Book of Vile Dorkness: This eldrich tome teaches the reader how to be utterly dorky, ruin any party, annoy all those around them. Giving you a -10 on diplomacy and disguise self.

[BRC]

Wand of Not Yet: This wand can be broken in half, doing so gives the person that broke it one free use of the Wish spell. However, Whenever the user attempts to break it or have it broken by any means, they must make a DC99 Will Save or else they decide that they should save it for later when they really need it.

[Naleh]

Goggles of Day: The lenses of this item are made of light crystal. Even though the lenses are opaque, when placed over the eyes of the wearer they enable him to see like it was nighttime. Both lenses must be worn for the magic to be effective.

Pretty good for anything with darkvision. Allows them to see normally even if they're blind, or darkness has been cast.


Wand of Not Yet: This wand can be broken in half, doing so gives the person that broke it one free use of the Wish spell. However, Whenever the user attempts to break it or have it broken by any means, they must make a DC99 Will Save or else they decide that they should save it for later when they really need it.

Cool! A 1 in 20 chance of a free Wish!

[Lady Tialait]

Cradle of Filth: This baby cradle is full of refuse, and other disgusting items.

Iron Butterfly: This sword is made of cold iron, if confronted with a rust beast, or other magical rusting effect it flys off to a random flower. Most likely in the garden of Edan.

Aerosmith: This anvil allows you to make any projectile out of air, it has modified damage equal to what breathing that air would do. In add ion, the projectile changes back it it's true form if you do not cover it in pure jade.

[Innis Cabal]

Nighty Nine Knights- A scroll that summons exactly 99 Knights, all of whom instantly believe the summoner is a damsel in distress and fight each other to the death to save you.

[BisectedBrioche]

Rustproof sword This sword is resistant to any form of magical rusting, however the rare metals it is made of will melt if their temperature exceeds 20 degrees celcious.

[DracoDei]

Tome of Understanding: One can write in this tome. It makes you feel understood.

The uses of this item in preventing people from becoming BBEG's are astounding...

[Irreverent Fool]

Here's one I plan on using in mine.

Everfresh Rose

The Everfresh Rose is a rose made of paper that smells as a real rose at it's most fragrent. The smell never fades and if the rose ever is ever crumpled, burned, or otherwise destroyed it will return to it's origonal state 1d4-1 rounds later.

Eternal kindling! Neat!

Also: Eternal toilet paper!

[OwlbearUltimate]

Book of Bad Jokes-A book filled with jokes that are funny to the reader, but when told, they become bad jokes. The use of a bad joke is -2 to all diplomatic checks to all who heard the joke for d4 days.

[Drammel]

Just made a dragon's hoard full of this stuff. Can't. Wait. To. Use. It.

Here are a few of my favorites to add to the list:

Blade of Deception: A +1 longsword which is, in fact, a -10 bastard sword.

Horseshoes of Lawful Speed: Placed on a mount to prevent attraction from local traffic authorities.

Book of Exalted Deeds: Contains a listing of some of the finest houses ever sold and the specifics of the titles to the properties.

Robe of Blending: Any fruit or vegetable placed into these robes will be puréed into a fine pulp.

Chime of Opening: Commonly affixed to or near doors, when pressed it emits a sound on the interior of the owner’s home to let them know guests have arrived.

Sovereign Glue: This is the rightful monarch of all other glue, currently deposed by its wicked uncle. It bears itself regally and will not suffer you to open or use it.

Staff of the Woodlands: This staff came from a tree in a forest.

Ring of Sustenance: These rings come in many shapes, forms, and levels of quality, but most are made of deep fried breaded onions. They are quite sustaining when eaten in large quantities.

Ring of Blinking: On command this ring allows the wearer to blink, wink, and perform other somatic eyelid tricks.

Water of Cleansing: When used on any dirty part of the body, this water begins removing dirt and grime. The more that is used the greater the effect. +5 circumstance bonus with soap.

Mithralmist Armor: This mist shines like mithral when worn. The mist bears no other special qualities.

Ring of Acid Immunity: This ring renders its wearer immune to psychedelics.

Cloak of Charisma: Most people agree your cloak is very charming, attractive, and witty. Sometimes they wonder loudly what the cloak is doing with you.

Cloak of Resistance: When this item is placed on any living thing it somehow manages to fall off, untie itself, slip past the owner’s neck entirely, or otherwise avoid being worn.

Frisbee’s Floating Disc: Functions much like the spell Tenser’s Floating Disc only it is much smaller, cannot carry weight, and must be thrown to be activated.

[Taylonwolfsong]

Found some of these elsewhere


Figurine of the Wondrous Plower - When activated, it becomes a farmer.

+5 Sword of Decoration - That's one pretty sword! Always misses.

Cat - No clue why its magical. Its a regular house cat.

Ring of Counting spells - It counts spells

Ring of Identify - When activated, it identifies the properties of the nearest magic item (itself)

[deuxhero]

Bag of Endless Sand - Can produce 5 cubic feet of sand per turn. Functions only in deserts.


Seems like it may have some use in Antarctica .




Aerosmith: This anvil allows you to make any projectile out of air, it has modified damage equal to what breathing that air would do. In add ion, the projectile changes back it it's true form if you do not cover it in pure jade.

Poison gas arrows.

[cheezewizz2000]

Needle of no direction: This small, pocket-watch like object contains a needle that is painted red at one end. When asked, it will show you which way to go.

The DM rolls 1d8 and consults the following table. The needle points in that direction:

1 - North
2 - North East
3 - East
4 - South East
5 - South
6 - South West
7 - West
8 - North West

[Bouregard]

Staff of the ever-duck

Whoever carries the staff will be followed by duck. The duck can not be harmed or altered in any way and tries to follow the staff with the speed of a normal duck.

[DiscipleofBob]

Tiara of Mind Reading: This ornate, silver crystal tiara when worn, will immediately broadcast to all sentient creatures within a 1 mile radius your surface thoughts in the language you are thinking in. The wearer is unaware of this effect.

[Ouranos]

Belt of Gender Changing (Mental) - This belt, when worn changes the wearer's gender, in their mind. It has no physical affect, but immediatly the wearer believes their gender has changed, and acts accordingly.

[Set]

Ring of Chameleon Power - This ring can change colors to match any background, and does so, matching the skin tone of whomever wears it.

Slippers of Spider Climbing - These fuzzy slippers give the wearer a +20 to climb checks whenever he tries to climb a spider.

Boots of Jumping - These boots are fine leather riding boots, when worn, but when taken off and set on the ground, they hop away from anyone who attempts to grab them, delaying actions to use to leap away with a movement rate of 10 ft. / round and Jump checks of +20. The only way to store them safely overnight is to grip them tightly, tie and stake them down, or place them on a surface at least 3 ft. above the ground (such as a table or shelf) as they are afraid of heights and will not leap down.

Wand of Burning Hands - Attempting to invoke the power of this fire-blackened ash wand will result in the holder suffering 1d3 Fire damage, as it grows white hot for a moment. The Wand of Shocking Grasp works similarly, but is made of copper and inflicts Electrical damage to it's holder.

Quaal's Feather Token, Sea Anenome - This small trinket of coral and shell transforms into a 1 lb. sea anemome when activated. The creature is non-edible, non-poisonous and cannot survive for more than a few minutes out of water, generally dying an excruciating death soon after being summoned. If thrown at a foe, the tiny sodden creature makes a wet splorch sound, and then dies, doing no damage, but perhaps staining fine clothing with it's internal fluids.

Chime of Opening - When struck against a solid surface, this chime emits a loud click, and opens along it's length, to reveal a tiny compartment adequate to conceal a single 'smoke' worth of pipeweed or a blowgun needle. When the compartment is closed, it is seamless and cannot be detected.

Staff of Fear - This darkwood quarterstaff is decorated with elongated screaming faces, skulls, thorny briars and chains. The staff is terrified of combat situations, and can only be used as a walking stick. In any combat situation it immediately rolls to disarm itself, and hopes and rolls away from combat at a speed of 10 ft., not stopping until it is at least 30 ft. from violent action. If it does not successfully disarm itself, it can be used as part of the Total Defense action without penalty, but otherwise had a -4 to attack rolls, whether used while fighting normally or Defensively.

Elixir of Hiding - This flask likes to 'burrow' and hides itself deep within any pack, lockbox or satchel. It can move itself around as if it had Mage Hand, but will not leave the body of a person carrying it, and it has Hide and Move Silently modifiers of +10. It always requires an extended search to find this flask, with the exception of if it is stored within a Handy Haversack (note, it *hates* Handy Haversacks!), and is only worth dealing with because it appears to be indestructible, and makes a fine storage flask for some substance that you do not expect to need in a hurry.

Wand of False Life - This wand, if set down on a solid surface, will sprout tiny legs and arms, and move around like a living thing, spontaneously wandering around in a small area and sometimes dancing, particularly if there is music being played. It isn't actually alive and will not move out of the 5 ft. square it is placed within. The arms and legs will fold away if the wand is picked up, but it always seems to have an elongated face as part of the grain of the wood at one end.

Eyes of Petrification - These human eyes are made of solid stone. If set down on a solid surface, they roll into position next to each other and swivel to follow the person who last held them, rolling up to 5 ft. per round in an attempt to keep that person in view. If that person leaves line of sight, they stop moving and 'forget' the person until someone else (perhaps the same person) picks them up.

Staff of Size Alteration - This uncooperative quarterstaff is capable of changing sizes at will, always being either one size class too big (1-50%) or one size class too small (51-100%) for the current holder. In any given round of combat, it gets excited and changes size again (roll randomly, with the staff either adding or subtracting a size category, and possibly even being the correct size, on rare occasions). If the holder is subject to a Reduce Person or Enlarge Person spell, the staff flips out and absorbs the spell, either completely disappearing (in the case of Reduce Person) or transforming into a tree permanantly, similar to the effects of a Quaal's Feather Token - Tree (in the case of Enlarge Person).

Potion of Polymorphing - This brownish elixir, when poured out of it's flask, turns into a random nonmagical item weighing up to 1 lb, and worth no more than 100 gp.

[DracoDei]

The flask is good for smugglers who are usually up against lazy border guards... which fits the theme of the thread i believe.

I can imagine a foolish person drinking the polymorph one and ending up with a 1 lb spike in their stomach... even a burlap sack could be problematic i should think...

[Coatl Ruu]

An intelligent ring with an ego score of 70. IF it dominates its wearer, it forces him/her to use lousy pickup lines on the nearest woman/man.

An immovable rod with no activation button, so it cannot be moved at any time.

A bag of tricks which only produces ravens which will attempt to claw at the user's face (1d4).

[EleventhHour]

Decanter of Water : This immensely powerful artefact has an extremely strong aura of transmutation and conjuration. It is shaped much like an ordinary bottle, though it is made of spun green glass, with tiny spiderweb thick patterns scattered across it. The bottle has the magical ability to fill with exactly one litre of water, when submerged in water. It maintains the same function in any other liquid, displacing one litre of that fluid within itself, from the source. This ability is only effective when the bottle is fully emersed, and if it is emersed in a different liquid than was originally contained, the contained fluid floats out, and is replaced by the new.

[Ouranos]

Amulet of Growth: This amulet has the extraordinary ability to allow you to grow stronger, faster, smarter, more skillful, simply by killing enough enemies. the amount of time it takes to grow compared to how many enemies you kill depends highly upon how strong or skillful or healthy you are now.

(For those who miss the joke: It means killing things now grants you, gasp, xp!)

[Set]

A silver ring inscribed with a feather motif. It has some brownish discoloration, like old blood, that can be cleaned off. Inside the band, it says 'to arrest a fall' in Draconic. When the command word is spoken, the ring acts as an Immovable Rod, stopping immediately in place, and generally tearing the finger off of the poor fool who was wearing it, as he continues falling, leaving the ring (and his finger) behind.

Ring of Shooting Stars. This ring can only be activated outdoors at night, and a blinding beam of energy bursts upwards into the night sky. When the lightshow is ended, there is one less star visible in the night sky...

[deuxhero]

Map Paper of Traps and Secrets
This paper, when used to create a map of an area, automatically adds any trap, secrets, or items of interest in the mapped area that are known to the mapmaker. It only charts as detailed information as the mapmaker knows, leaving unkown things unmarked.


I wouldn't say an auto-map is useless by any stretch of the imagination.

[Dante & Vergil]

Did anyone notice the thread necromancy going on here? It's pretty big.

[Temotei]

Staff of the ever-duck

Whoever carries the staff will be followed by duck. The duck can not be harmed or altered in any way and tries to follow the staff with the speed of a normal duck.

Inspiration from Oblivion? :smalltongue:

[Bouregard]

Inspiration from Oblivion? :smalltongue:

no but http://jyte.com/cl/anatidaephobia-%E2%80%94-fear-that-somewhere-somehow-a-duck-is-watching-you

[Ormagoden]

1) Find 2E dragonlance book
2) Copy page with item list for "What is in a Handler's bag"
3) ????
4) Profit!

[Lysander]

Reundisappearing Ink

Once used this ink forever turns invisible, then visible, then invisible again in an endless cycle of ten second periods.

[Cyanic]

Cloak of Billowing: this cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.


I would use this on most characters I have made. :smallbiggrin:

[Lysander]

Belt of Pants

This belt creates illusory pants on the wearer. The wearer can suppress the illusion at will.

[ericgrau]

Suppress at will? I think that, a corresponding shirt and maybe a cloak of billowing could have uses...

[Erom]

Some fairly useful ones, compared to you guys downright evil selection:

Vial of Endless Water
If the stopper is removed from this ordinary-looking vial and a command word spoken, a very small amount of fresh water drips out. (1 drop per round or approximately 1 gallon per hour) The vial does not generate noticeable back pressure, and thus will not function if submerged, blocked, or placed in a sealed container.

Rusting Gauntlet
This single metal gauntlet is rusted and pitted but still contains some power. It can affect an object as with the rusting grasp spell, however the gauntlets also rust away to nothing when activated. It offers no protection from rust (magical or otherwise), including the attack of a rust monster.

Necklace of Hydration
This necklace is a silver chain with a shell medallion. The magic of the necklace wraps the wearer in a shell of fresh water, even in a vacuum, making him immune to all harmful vapors and gases (such as cloudkill and stinking cloud effects, as well as inhaled poisons). If the user can not breathe when submerged, they are subjected to the normal drowning effects.

Flavoring Spoon
This unremarkable eating utensil is typically fashioned from silver. If the spoon is placed in an empty container the vessel fills with a small amount of golden liquid. When added to food, this spice greatly improves aroma and flavor (but confers no mechanical benefits). The spoon can generate enough spice to flavor four meals for medium humanoids per day.

Vial of Whispers
This small blue glass vial will hum quietly to itself when uncorked. If the command word is spoken it will fall silent until two rounds have passed or 5 words are spoken in it's presence. The vial will quietly repeat those words until the command word is spoken again or 1d4 days have passed. If attempting to use the Vial of Whispers to pass messages between two creatures, a DC15 Listen check is necessary to correctly interpret the whispering.

[dsmiles]

@OP:
Are you accepting submissions for "cursed" items?

[Bugmaster]

My DM give each of us a piece of this set known as The Kitchen Set of Awesomeness.

The Fork of Delisiousness: +20 to Delisousness
The Butterknife of Cutting: Cuts though most materials like a hot knife through butter.
The Spoon of Negativity: Makes you feel more hungry the more you use it to eat.

[Tyndmyr]

A silver ring inscribed with a feather motif. It has some brownish discoloration, like old blood, that can be cleaned off. Inside the band, it says 'to arrest a fall' in Draconic. When the command word is spoken, the ring acts as an Immovable Rod, stopping immediately in place, and generally tearing the finger off of the poor fool who was wearing it, as he continues falling, leaving the ring (and his finger) behind.

This.....this is frigging awesome.

[Nehh]

A Cat of Schrodinger: When this cat is not being observed in any way it is both dead and alive. When something observe it, it suddenly becomes either dead or alive with a 50% chance of either. Of course, if you a prepared to wait for some good luck this is a handily resurrect-able cat.

The Pen Of I'm Sure I Had One On Me Somewhere: Functions as an ordinary ink pen. As soon as the owner removes his attention from this pen it will teleport unnoticeably away to a random location. Tie messages to it for a handy way of spreading messages around randomly!

[drengnikrafe]

1) Find 2E dragonlance book
2) Copy page with item list for "What is in a Handler's bag"
3) ????
4) Profit!

1) Find a copy of the Munchkin game.
2) Pick a random treasure item.
3) Give it an appropriate magical effect.
4) ????
5) Profit!

[Nehh]

Helm of Seeing: The user of this helm sees exactly what they see.

Wand of Nothing: When used, this wand creates a cube of nothing with sides measuring 2" in length.

Halberd of Berry Picking: This halberd was designed to get berries from high trees. When used to harm a living thing, it will always miss and knock a berry down from the nearest tree instead.

Cape of Insensibility: This cape is completely invisible, does not smell or taste of anything, and cannot be touched or felt. The only way one can notice it is by hearing it. It is very comfortable.

[dsmiles]

Halberd of Berry Picking: This halberd was designed to get berries from high trees. When used to harm a living thing, it will always miss and knock a berry down from the nearest tree instead.

What if the nearest tree is an apple tree? Does it geas the wielder into finding a berry tree?

How about this one:

Deck of Illusion: This normal seeming deck of cards radiates a moderate aura of illusion. When cards are dealt from this deck, the owner always appears to get the highest hand in the game, no matter what game is played. To others, however, the owner of the deck always appears to get the lowest hand in the game, no matter what game is played.

[deuxhero]

What happens if the game has low scores be the best?

[erikun]

Sealed Decanter of Water: This is a perfectly sealed bottle which will continuously refill itself with water. No amount of physical force or magic, not even a Wish, will allow the bottle to be opened. It may be physically broken into, in which case, the water can be used. However, breaking the decanter ends its magical effect.

Wristband of Perfect Time: This is a wrist item which keeps perfect time, to the second. It is the only one in existance, so the character in a fantasy world will have no way to reference such information. Furthermore, the facing is written in a foreign language, thus leaving the character unaware of the meaning of the object.

[absolmorph]

+2 Longsword:
This longsword has a +2 engraved on the blade. It registers as magical and giving a +2 enhancement bonus (which is the magic it's imbued with). It deals damage as a non-magical dagger would.
It functions as a normal longsword in all ways besides these.

+5 Plate armor:
This armor has a +5 written on the inside of the breast plate. It registers as magical and giving a +5 enhancement bonus (which is the magic it's imbued with). It gives the same AC bonus as non-magical leather armor.
It functions as normal plate armor in all other ways.

[erikun]

+5 Plate: This is a standard wonderous item which reads as a +5 magic item. It makes its saves as a magic item, but does not grant its enchantment bonus as a weapon. It may only be equipped as armor by a Flumph (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flumph).

[DracoDei]

That a +2 dagger and +5 leather, or just non-magical?

[absolmorph]

That a +2 dagger and +5 leather, or just non-magical?
Non-magical.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

Bracers of Clicking - When these bracers are put on, they make an audible click. They have no further effect.

[urkthegurk]

A large stuffed snake that will comically swallow and eat any diminutive or small objects that you feed it. It comes with a set of figures; Spiky balls, stuffed creatures, and rubber toys that squeak are all favourites, but it can be anything that the owner might desire: that really is the greatest appeal of this toy! The endless innovation opportunities available too the lucky owner!

This tiny wondrous item actually does have use, albeit an incredibly limited one. The wielder of this item, while grappling a Diminutive or smaller target, can force the snake to eat the victim by stuffing it down the snakes throat with a successful grapple check. The DC to escape the gullet by either strength or skill is 28, which is only two less than the DC for the Iron Bands of Binding. The gullet has hardness 15, which is why it's so hilarious to play with, and it also has 15 resistance to fire. It takes double damage from acid, though, so watch out! And it only has 30 hp.

The snake can also be used to eat arms or other limbs of larger creatures, with the same rules for DCs and grapple checks. The snake is only hardness 5 from the outside though, so it is much easier to destroy.

This item can come in a special limited-edition form, available in magic shoppes near you, that poops out what it eats every half an hour. This is fine for diminutive and smaller creatures, they come out in a tiny crystal-like semi-transparent shell. This shell reduces any creatures excreted in this manner to a 0 dexterity, and in an airless environment. The creature has the special privilege of making strength checks though, despite this normally being impossible for 0-dexterity creatures. The DC for these checks is 14.

Larger creatures that have trapped limbs pooped face complications in the form of ongoing damage as the snake tries to digest the offending limb. This is 1d4 damage for 1d6+3 turns, after which the snake gives up, until the half hour is up again. There is a 10% every time the snake tries to digest something to big for it that the delicate mechanisms inside the creature become mangled and broken. The snake is DC fifteen to repair, if you have basic mechanical parts, although DM's might rule that some specific parts have to be custom-ordered, which could take several weeks. This is a long time for their snake buddy to be out of commission, but I'm sure the PCs can manage.

Newer versions of the snake exist that have emergency command words built in to make the snake release whatever it is holding. This feature was added because it was found that it was very hard to get anything out of the snakes, so they quickly became rather bloated and ripped their seams. The company in charge of their manufacture put out the second type of snake to solve this defect by the mechanism of the snake reliving itself. This proved problematic also, as outlined above, and the company created a third model of item.

Sadly, the number of lawsuits filed against the company by consumers who had been injured or maimed by the toys was enough to bring down the company, and very few of the perfected model of the snake were ever shipped to stores. Some legends tell of a whole delivery truck, mistakenly pre-ordered by a scroll and curios merchant, that never made the return trip to the factory. They say it roams the long, back country roads even now, and some reports mention that the phantom vehicle playing soothing carnival-esque music in an attempt to lure victims closer. What it would do with such victims is a open question, as it has been as yet unsuccessful. Timid minds quake at the notion of the hundreds of snake-puppet heads coiling out of their boxes and out though the back doors, like a hideous hungry tail, each puppet head longing for human bones... and revenge.

I suggest running this monster as a lernaean hydra with any half-construct template you think is cool. The sock-puppet heads act as a bite attack at this point, so I'd make the damage 1d4+whatever and give it lots and lots of heads. However many would be ridiculous.

The snakes also coil up into the drivers seat, although it is unclear whether it is the snakes, the truck, or something else that is driving. Some might remark on its passing resemblance to Obox-Ob, if Obox-Ob were a truck. Perhaps the fell spirit of this fallen demon lord has bonded with the puppets, for he is patron of the those who would rise once more to their glory, or else cast all of the universe into the Void and the Ash. So is it with Obox-Ob. So is it with the puppet-snakes.

[Nehh]

Gem with True Seeing: This gem can see through illusions as if it had True Seeing. Or at least it would, if it had eyes.

[Sir Sanguine]

Wand of Blasting: This wand, when activated with a successful Use Magic Device check, extends a small piece of paper that reads 'BANG!' in a funny font.

Charles: This small, unremarkable figurine of a gnome refuses to be called anything but Charles. No other name will leave the lips of the speaker. It has no other powers.

Wand of Tautologies: When you use this wand, this wand becomes used.

Helm of Head Regeneration: Three times a day, this helm will regrow your head. It is only usable when worn.

Ring of Summoning Fire Elementals: Once a day, you may use this ring to summon a single Greater fire elemental. It is very awkward. You have nothing to talk about. Five minutes later, the fire elemental makes an excuse and leaves.

[jindra34]

Decanter of Endless Water: A container that is continuously pouring out water, and if stoppered will build up back pressure for a number of minutes equal to the stopper's hardness before destroying it, at which point it will continue pouring out water.

[Lysander]

Bag of Normal Holding
This leather bag has the same capacity as a non-magical bag of the same size, however any objects put into it are held in extradimensional space as with a bag of holding.

Frisbee of Eternal Distance
This thin wooden frisbee has a flying spell cast on it and once thrown will not descend or stop until it is caught or hits an obstacle.

Bag of Trick
This bag operates like a Bag of Tricks, except it only works once a week and produces a rat each time it is used.

Belt of No Gender
The instant a victim puts on this belt the victim becomes utterly sexless, as with a ken doll. Remove Curse is required to take off the belt and restore their body to its normal form.

[DracoDei]

I assume that elimination is still possible while wearing that belt? Otherwise lethal jaundice will set in I think.

[Zom B]

Staff of Dis-Integration: Causes a person the momentary feeling that they don't belong in their current social clique.

Barrel of Holding: This large wooden barrel (measuring 3 feet in diameter and 5 feet in height) can hold up to 15 cubic feet of matter.

Amulet of Turn Undead: Makes the user permanantly become a CR 1 zombie.

Elemental Sword of Power: This +5 Frosting Shocking Flaming Thundering Vorpal Longsword is truly filled with power, and is truly made of an element: Sodium!

Mordenkainen's Unfaithful Watchdog: This small statue of a dog, once animated, runs away from its owner.

Wand of Detect Self.

Ring of Smell Storing.

[dsmiles]

Ring of Smell Storing? How about...
Ring of Spell Storing: Upon activation, the ring magically stores the next word spoken by the character. Upon a second activation, the ring spells that word in a loud, clear voice. If the word is difficult to understand, the ring asks, "Definition and Origin, please?"

[BRC]

Awesome Hat: This is a very nice hat. Anybody who sees it compliments the wearer on it, but their opinion is not otherwise altered.
Helm of Autotelepethy: You may hear your own thoughts.
Amulet of Uneccessary Health: This amulet may cast Heal on the wearer as a standard action, it only functions when the wearer is at full health.
Invisible, Insubstantial Longsword: It's there, the merchant says it is. The fact that it looks like an empty scabbard means nothing.