Kurald Galain
2008-05-09, 07:25 PM
Yesterday, Blizzard officials confirmed the long-running rumors that they would be releasing the next edition of the popular multi-player game, World of Warcraft, by the end of the year.
A spokesman for the company pointed out several new features, such as a dice-based character generation system, the pen-and-paper interface, and the classic look-and-feel of a fire-and-forget system of spellcasting. "It's really amazing," stated one of the programmers. "Rather than spending hours coding the gravitic algorithms of spherical boulders, you can just tell the players that rocks fall, and now everybody dies! The spoken-word environment is amazingly immersive."
Players all over the internet were concerned. "They're turning our game into D&D!" is the common complaint. D&D, or Dungeons and Dragons, is a tabletop game played by a small minority of geeks in dark dungeons. It incorporates many fantasy elements popularized by World of Warcraft, such as wizards, swords, and unicorns. "It's not fair," commented a fan, "this dungeons game is nothing but a cheap derivative of our internet-based livelihood, and now they're turning our game into that!" The fan was not available for further comments because of the ensuing flame war.
The Blizzard marketing division has already hired an enforcement division that will travel to every player's house to confiscate and destroy all CDs of the older game, along with any merchandise and, for good measure, the computers they're being played on. "We want to make the transition easy to people", quoth the CEO. "We're sure this new edition has everything to offer for everybody".
Richard Garfield was not available for comment.
A spokesman for the company pointed out several new features, such as a dice-based character generation system, the pen-and-paper interface, and the classic look-and-feel of a fire-and-forget system of spellcasting. "It's really amazing," stated one of the programmers. "Rather than spending hours coding the gravitic algorithms of spherical boulders, you can just tell the players that rocks fall, and now everybody dies! The spoken-word environment is amazingly immersive."
Players all over the internet were concerned. "They're turning our game into D&D!" is the common complaint. D&D, or Dungeons and Dragons, is a tabletop game played by a small minority of geeks in dark dungeons. It incorporates many fantasy elements popularized by World of Warcraft, such as wizards, swords, and unicorns. "It's not fair," commented a fan, "this dungeons game is nothing but a cheap derivative of our internet-based livelihood, and now they're turning our game into that!" The fan was not available for further comments because of the ensuing flame war.
The Blizzard marketing division has already hired an enforcement division that will travel to every player's house to confiscate and destroy all CDs of the older game, along with any merchandise and, for good measure, the computers they're being played on. "We want to make the transition easy to people", quoth the CEO. "We're sure this new edition has everything to offer for everybody".
Richard Garfield was not available for comment.