so how big of a loser am I...

[BillsBioBlog]

I've loved a girl for a year now... maybe a year and a half. I've sacrificed quite a lose for her, to the point where I bought her mother groceries. She won't even kiss me, and whenever I realize she'll never love me and I push her away, she always clings and says she needs me in her life.

Finally the other day I ask her why she doesn't love me

she told me I'm not demanding enough.

Soooo I think it's safe to assume I'm the biggest loser alive right now.

[Copacetic]

Heyy buddy, There is a Depression Thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=71542) for a reason.

[13_CBS]

Check my pm to you, Bills.

[reorith]

i live in my mom's basement with a venus flytrap. i go days at a time without seeing anyone.. i've failed out of four colleges. i've been fired from more jobs than my peers and i use windows vista. in the loser olympics, you've just taken silver.

[Dragonrider]

I've loved a girl for a year now... maybe a year and a half. I've sacrificed quite a lose for her, to the point where I bought her mother groceries. She won't even kiss me, and whenever I realize she'll never love me and I push her away, she always clings and says she needs me in her life.

Finally the other day I ask her why she doesn't love me

she told me I'm not demanding enough.

Soooo I think it's safe to assume I'm the biggest loser alive right now.

You're not the loser....

....she is.

[Phase]

You're not the loser....

....she is.

Agreed, she's the one at fault here...

[Mc. Lovin']

i live in my mom's basement with a venus flytrap. i go days at a time without seeing anyone.. i've failed out of four colleges. i've been fired from more jobs than my peers and i use windows vista. in the loser olympics, you've just taken silver.

Get a plate Bills, cus you just got served

[Yoritomo Himeko]

I've loved a girl for a year now... maybe a year and a half. I've sacrificed quite a lose for her, to the point where I bought her mother groceries. She won't even kiss me, and whenever I realize she'll never love me and I push her away, she always clings and says she needs me in her life.

Finally the other day I ask her why she doesn't love me

she told me I'm not demanding enough.

Soooo I think it's safe to assume I'm the biggest loser alive right now.

So, she doesn't love you but she needs you in her life, why? Does her mother need groceries that badly? She sounds a little manipulating to me.

Anyway, I'm not an expert on these issues, but I really think you should break away from her. Don't even tell her you're leaving, just do it. That way, she won't be able to pull a guilt trip on you.

You a not a loser. Many people go through things like this. I hope you are able to break free from this destructive relationship.

[Zarrexaij]

You're not the loser....

....she is.QFE

Geez, I love how female teenagers are all too willing to prove the dead-horse of the "women are shallow, fickle, and dont' know what the ****ing hell they want" stereotype.

Yes, I realize the irony of a female teenager saying this. Someone had to.

[EvilElitest]

Why not be more demanding? Anyways, if it makes you feel any better, i'm an egotistical self centered bastards, so at least you know your a good person and don't have to worry about becoming a sociopath
from
EE

[Flickerdart]

If love isn't reciprocated, it's more useless than a Bard. Now, the part where the clings to you and yet doesn't offer any motivation for you to stay, that's the one where it doesn't make sense...

Or does it? She probably feels terrible that she's so dependant on you. It would make her feel so much better if once in a while you made her feel useful, and not just baggage. I'm not exactly a master of psychology, but try following her advice. These things don't seem to be good friends with madam Logic.

If you can, however, it'd probably be better in the long run to follow Himeko's advice and go your separate ways. Maybe if she cares enough, she'll actually try to get you back instead of whining, and that'll be the time to dictate terms.

[SurlySeraph]

@Bill: I can't claim to give good advice, as I have pretty much no romantic experience whatsoever. But have you tried, ya know, just being more demanding? Something along the lines of "No, you are going to kiss me. If you need me in your life so much, kissing me is worth it" (but more prettily worded) might work.


i live in my mom's basement with a venus flytrap. i go days at a time without seeing anyone.. i've failed out of four colleges. i've been fired from more jobs than my peers and i use windows vista. in the loser olympics, you've just taken silver.

The venus flytrap is in the basement? Being able to keep a plant alive without direct sunlight isn't easy. Being able to use Vista without a nervous breakdown is extremely difficult. You're ,much too competent to be a complete loser.

[Agamid]

You're not the loser....

....she is.

oh my god yes. That's a horrible way for her to treat you.

A friend of mine was in a similar situation, he chased this girl all through high school, and while never accepting any of his advances, she never really rejected them either.
Finally in year 12 he got out of her "I'm really not ready for a relationship with anyone right now." Of course, she went out with his best friend a week or two later.

[Zeb The Troll]

I think "be more demanding" is being misinterpreted here. I think what's being implied is "be more confident and less of a pushover". That doesn't mean start telling people what to do. It's a slippery concept to grasp without going over the line into being a jerk, but it's worth figuring out. My guess is that she feels like you're behaving more like a puppy dog than a mate, and while she likes many aspects about you, she's finding she doesn't like you "that way".

To the specific situation, since we can't stand over your shoulder and feed you lines, you'll have to really try to work it out yourself.

In the long run, even if you don't end up dating her, this "confident and capable" personality trait is a desirable one, and not just to women, so it's worth developing.

The bad news is that no matter how well you nail this "be more demanding" thing, whether I'm right about the interpretation or not, she's not likely to see it because she's already got this impression of you.

Your best bet, for your sanity and for your chances with this girl, in my professional, medical opinion, is to move on and date other women. It'll help to get your mind off of her, it'll help you practice getting out of your comfort zone, and it will help her to see you as someone desirable.

Wow, I think I just channeled David DeAngelo for a minute. *hopes not*

Also, I think this should be merged with the RW&A thread, but that's just me.

[Gorbash]

Why not be more demanding? Anyways, if it makes you feel any better, i'm an egotistical self centered bastard.


Let's face it EE, you see that as one of your good traits. :smalltongue:

[Felixaar]

QFE

Geez, I love how female teenagers are all too willing to prove the dead-horse of the "women are shallow, fickle, and dont' know what the ****ing hell they want" stereotype.

Yes, I realize the irony of a female teenager saying this. Someone had to.

I second that statement.

Dont fuss about it, man, she's not worth the time.

[Solo]

I've loved a girl for a year now... maybe a year and a half. I've sacrificed quite a lose for her, to the point where I bought her mother groceries. She won't even kiss me, and whenever I realize she'll never love me and I push her away, she always clings and says she needs me in her life.

Finally the other day I ask her why she doesn't love me

she told me I'm not demanding enough.

Soooo I think it's safe to assume I'm the biggest loser alive right now.

So she says she can't love you... cause you're treating her too well?

Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!

[poleboy]

she told me I'm not demanding enough.


I used to date a girl who was like that. They usually have issues. A lot of them. I suggest you move on, because women like that are only comfortable around guys who are semi-psycopaths and extremely egoistic.

[EvilElitest]

Let's face it EE, you see that as one of your good traits. :smalltongue:

I have non good traits?:smallconfused:
from
EE

[Shas aia Toriia]

If love isn't reciprocated, it's more useless than a Bard.

Bard =/= useless.
Bard = awesome, and very powerful.

[Solo]

I have non good traits?:smallconfused:
from
EE

Plenty.



:smalltongue:



View Post
If love isn't reciprocated, it's more useless than a Monk.

There we go.

[EvilElitest]

Plenty.



:smalltongue:



My personality is like Greed's Shield

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/42/Greed2.PNG/200px-Greed2.PNG
Perfect
from
EE

[Flickerdart]

Bard =/= useless.
Bard = awesome, and very powerful.
A Bard 20? I think not.

[RandomNPC]

bards and monks aside (i now plan to run a group of gestalt bard monks)

go find another girl, even just to be friends and hang out with if you don't feel the need to date that paticular person, just don't lead them on. here's the tricky part, don't be shy about hanging out with this other girl, but don't flaunt it.

outside of that, good luck.

[Gorbash]

My personality is like Greed's Shield

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/42/Greed2.PNG/200px-Greed2.PNG
Perfect
from
EE

If his shield was perfect, Father wouldn't have been able to kill him. :smalltongue:

[EvilElitest]

If his shield was perfect, Father wouldn't have been able to kill him. :smalltongue:

He wasn't able to put up the entire shield that time. Also he went out on a cross, that is just cool
from
EE

[Hadrian_Emrys]

Gag advice: She wants you to be more demanding? This looks like a job for whips and chains man! Da da dada! *crack*

Serious advice: Unless you are hell bent on mistreating yourself, there's no point in being a doormat. If you care about this lot, and wish to care for them, do it without expecting some sort of interpersonal reward. If you are burned out by this scenario, leave it be.

[Solo]

Hm... actually, ask for clarification on what she means by "demanding", and ask her why she feels tha tway.

You may be miscommunicating with each other.

[BizzaroStormy]

i live in my mom's basement with a venus flytrap. i go days at a time without seeing anyone.. i've failed out of four colleges. i've been fired from more jobs than my peers and i use windows vista. in the loser olympics, you've just taken silver.

Windows Vista? Damn, thats hard to beat.

[Solo]

Well, reorith, at least you won't be passing on your gene seed. Even if you're not contributing to society, you won't be hindering it years down the line.:smallwink:

[reorith]

Well, reorith, at least you won't be passing on your gene seed. Even if you're not contributing to society, you won't be hindering it years down the line.:smallwink:

one of these days i'll find the courage to leave the basement and stop being a spiraling singularity of failure and meet someone special that wants a vegan potter that made a still from a pressure cooker and writes run on sentences.
yeah right ;_;

[Hadrian_Emrys]

one of these days i'll find the courage to leave the basement and stop being a spiraling singularity of failure and meet someone special that wants a vegan potter that made a still from a pressure cooker and writes run on sentences.
yeah right ;_;

Why not? Yahtzee makes a living doing it, though I doubt he makes moonshine on the side. That's kinda nifty.