Adventuring 101: Part 1 - Around The World In...We'll Decide Later.

[Meek]

Chapter 1 - Alternate Payment Methods Include: Your Spleen...

If one were to try to climb the Yawnsburg Mountains by means other than using the pathways smashed into the steep mountainside by the Imperial Kriek Engineers, one would likely die. If one did not die trying, they would certainly die after being arrested for violating traffic code. To put simply – one morning, someone in Kriek woke up and decided that the mountain did not look right unless pathways were carved into it until it resembled a drill bit, grooves and all. Unfortunately the Yawnsburg mountains are not merely one drill bit, but seventeen, in a range of more than 116,160 squares. The longest, squattest, and actually populated of the mountains are the first three, known to the locals as Larry, Curly and Moe, respectively. Upon Moe, lies the actual town of Yawnsburg, settled into the almost volcanic enclosure upon the peak of the mountain.

If one were to look down upon Yawnsburg, one would see very little to attract the attention. The village of Yawnsburg can be seen end to end from atop the peak side leading down into it. Ashen stones stairs lead down to a small but bustling little community. It is a very green place, with a number of strategically placed trees, green grasses and shrubs. There are many small wooden homes and small wooden businesses, such as a tavern, a government office for the Empire of Kriek, a post office, and at the western end of the area, a Sicily Kiosk, manned by a pigtailed, grey-haired Sicily clone, in all of her youthful beauty and exuberance, except when she's grimacing and glaring at everything alive and individual.

Meaning all the time.

The architecture is unimpressive and composes of layering wood vertically, nailing it so it sticks together, and dropping more wood on it. There is an almost patchwork quality to most buildings, and one can trace the history of every rock thrown through every wall and every broken plank and the results of every brutal bar fight, from the layers of planks. One can also tell that Yawnsburg lacks in architects. It lacks quite obviously.

But across from Yawnsburg, held up against the steep opposing side of the volcanic crater, by beams and thick trunks and poles and a single, very annoyed Warforged, is the home of Karin Apuleius, a cottage larger even than the government office of Kriek, composed of luscious dark wood rather than the bleached, rough planks everything is made out of. Rather than shutters, it boasts actual windows. The only unsightly area is one where darkwood planks were thrown upon, under the cottage, where a massive hole had once been.

Yawnsburg has a single well, and some myths suggest the underside is layered with corpses.

Nobody wishes to know if this is true.

Yawnsburg water is delicious and rich in minerals, but has a iron-like aftertaste.

Yawnsburg is not worth talking about this much.

Yet, upon this worthless little village in some poorly named mountains, gather many interesting people.

Panitari – You are inside the Dancing Bugbear tavern, the only tavern in the area, and possibly one of the worst taverns in history. There are only five people there, and two are twins, so really there are only four people there. You sit around waiting for a drink, but the ditzy little halfling bar maid has already slipped and fallen five times with your drink. The bartender, a half-giant in a suit and tie, declares that you will receive a free drink. The bar maid fails to deliver it once more.

Alexi Warnburg – You are also inside the Dancing Bugbear, and nobody really knows who you are. One person is request you yodel, for instance. You see the long light-haired, blue eyed halfling bar maid continuously slip and fall in her little pink dress, at the feet of a short dark-haired girl, who looks right in her early teen years. "I'm sorry! Oh dear! I dropped it again!" The bar maid laments.

Bryant Duorn – On the other side of town, Bryant Duorn examines the interesting trinkets hanging in the thin mithral racks in the Sicily Kiosk. The clone, playing with one of her long silver-grey pigtails, stares at you in an unfriendly way, despite the pin on her blue, star-dotted robe saying "This Smiling Face Belongs To: Sicily #367." You recall the good old days when treasure was rolled on tables, +1 swords were legendary lost relics of era gone by, and beautiful women could not be mass produced unless Lolth wanted a bigger army of sociopath drow. Where did Lolth go anyway?

Richard Linkely – You are also at the Sicily Kiosk, browsing the Imperial Kriek Catalog of Artists and Artisans that every business is required to carry for no particularly good reason along with the Voiceporter Yellow Book that shows the unique magical addresses of every person one could ever want to send a Voiceporter message to, and a number of propaganda posters. You know businesses who do not follow these standards are likely to be burnt down, not that anyone would dare do that to Sicily Blanche, who could probably destroy Paradiso by dropping her money on to it from orbit. Unfortunately, the Catalog is a blur of names and you find nothing you recognize or are particularly inspired by.

Fhil – You just arrived in Yawnburg, and are climbing down the ashen steps from the southern (and only accessible) end of the crater. You can see, if you look up, the majestic mountain range continuing off beyond your sight, almost obscuring the sun. It is slightly cold, but not intolerable nor dangerous. You reach down the steps, and see the slightly hilly village with its long stretches of green grass, the many old trees growing about, and the charming little homes. A blonde-haired townsgirl in a dress and bonnet walks up to you and hands you a brochure. "Welcome to historic Yawnsburg sir! This brochure'll help you find what you're looking for in Yawnsburg. Since it shows everything there IS to look for in yawnsburg."

As D&D measures in squares, Paradiso measures distance in squares as well, however inconvenient it manages to be for the citizenry aside. 1 mile = 1056 squares = 5280 feet. Also I took some liberties putting you places because you didn't really specify any kind of place you wanted to be at in Yawnsburg at the start.

My modus operandi tends to be this: I'll say something, and unless I find it suitable to interact with you and not everyone else, I tend to sit on it until everyone has posted, or if I'm growing impatient (it happens), I wait until a majority of the party (3/5) has posted. So it's better if you do not go on a complete tangent by yourself with me, and instead wait until I run out of patience myself and continue along with the game.

Be sure to read things whenever I spoiler tag them. Post your physical descriptions and begin!

[Helepolis]

Panitari is a small, elegant girl, standing barely above 5 feet, and weighing perhaps 100 to 110 pounds. Despite being 65 years of age, she looks similar to a 13-18 year old human girl. Her handy haversack sits next to her chair, her buckler sitting atop it, and her shortspear leans on the table. A cloak covers, but does not completely conceal her studded leather armor. She has brown, shoulder length hair, and dark green eyes.

She rubs her temple, and sighs deeply. "Alright dear, how about you just go sit down for a second, and I will go to the bar and pick up my own drink?"

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

The old man reaches out a finger and gently lifts a beautifully wrought silver necklace from its stand. This one was unique...by far one of the most wonderful pieces sold, and a rare find for a Kiosk.

Wonderful craftsmanship! I haven't seen the like since the old treasure table days!

Ah...good times. None of this "magic every day" stuff, by gods! We found a +1 sword and we considered it a blessing!

Bryant Dourn slowly lets the necklace fall back onto the stand, and glances at the old man staring back at him from the mithril surface.

Eighty years ago, that face was youthful, strong, and dashing, lit from a burning fire within and ready to sally forth and challenge all the evils of the world to single combat if a single life were to be saved. Now it is haggard and old. Scraggly white hair sits atop a wrinkled face and crooked nose, and although the deep green eyes are still lively and joyous, there is an air of agedness about the expression that defies easy explanation.

He turns his eyes from the reflection and gazes absently at Sicily #367.

Humph. Women these days! Surely the great DM must have bestowed them with a resistance against diplomacy over the past seventy years. They were never that surly when I was a young man...must be something to do with all that cloning nonsense. Why, we never would have stood for it back then...only Lloth and her ilk did things like that, and we were sure to show them the error of their ways! 'Course, nowadays all drow are chaotic good rebels. I wonder what they rebel against?

Regardless, Lloth never would have stood for it. Wonder where the old hag went after all those years?

Undeterred at Sicily #367's expression, Bryant's aged face breaks into a smile.

"Wonderful work here, my dear. May I inquire as to the price of this necklace? I have a young friend it would look quite dazzling on."

[Meek]

"That thing? 100 gold. It just casts Light once a day." Sicily says, "If you have a Sicily GOLD card, you can get a 10% off your purchase and pay later in installments, though if you fail to pay, the boss sends Inevitables after you."


* * *

The halfling girl weeps a little. "Ah, I'm so silly, sorry. I made my customer have to stand and get her drink."

Silently, the bartender prepares another drink, and leaves it on the counter this time.

[Helepolis]

Panitari sighs again, and forces a smile. "It's alright dear...I don't mind walking a few squares to the bar. No biggie"

She approaches the bar, and sits on a stool, leaning over to the bartender as she sips her drink "Is that girl ALWAYS this bad?"

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard Linkely

"Well, this isn't very helpful now is it.", mutters the Poet to himself. Richard mindlessly flips through the catalog again, This is no way to end a curse. I can't very well end a curse just by flipping through a few stock magazines and catalogs.

Suddenly, a sound breaks Richard's rather pessimistic line of thought. A rather gravelly sound, at that. Looking up from the Yellow Book, Linkely notices an Old Man. Maybe even a Very Old man, it can be so hard to tell sometimes. Dressed like a warrior, the man was obviously a NPC placed here by the DM to act as some sort of plot hook on the quest that would, eventually, break the curse and allow Richard Linkely to be properly recognized as the Greatest Poet of Our Age.

Putting the Yellow Book down on which ever surface is nearest, Richard does a quick mental run down to ensure that he looked presentable. For an encounter with fate, one must always look ones best.

Hair?[/] A quick feel around revealed that the hair was still, mostly, gelled down and slicked back. A few stray strands stuck out, but there rebellion was quickly squashed by a saliva coated finger. [i]Check

Attire? His grey suit was getting a little worn with the travel, but nothing was the matter with it. He had patched the elbows and his tie was still properly tied. Of course, Richard's shirt was slightly untucked but that problem was swiftly rectified. Check.

Now, what to say? I don't want to draw attention to the fact that he's really just an inconsequential character on my quest, that would be rude. Ah, I know!

Clearing his throat, the tall thin blonde geek walked up to the aged warrior,

"Umm, excuse me, sir. I'm on a quest to rid myself of a most foul curse. I don't suppose you could offer any pointers to a rookie? I am but a humble low-level sorcerer seeking advice from warrior of your experience. Please."

[Meek]

Sicily's glare deviates from Bryant to Richard.

"Remove curse is worth 150 gold, Miracle 1710 gold, so if I might interest you in some spellcasting services for your problem." She unenthusiastically claims. Sicily clones, it appears, will do anything to sell anything.


* * *

The bartender, like a statue carved out of the mountains themselves, gives a subtle nod. Then in a low voice he says: "But is it not adversity that forges a woman?"

He then straightens, and continues cleaning the glasses in his prior statuesque fashion.

[Flame_Excess]

Oh no!, I've been spot! thought Fhil when he saw the young woman coming in his way. I must not look in her way, and so did he until he realized from his periferic vision that she might be elven...

So he gave a nervous glance.

But when she stopped and turned on his way he went crazy thinking what could that girl want from him. If he had looked at her, it wasn't his fault! Or maybe it was because of his looks. He wasn't guilty of being a savage going in a city! He was born that way! Or was it the weapons to his belt? Or the exceptionally shiny and beautiful elven chain armor?

He couldn't figure out what was her problem. Or how dangerous she could be if she actually knew him! He didn't like wasting his time and prefered cutting corners. So he turned around in no time facing the girl doing her speech. He put his hands in front of him and had a paranoiac face. Almost screaming, he said:

'Whoah! What do you want from me! I'm not the one you're looking for!'

And then she handed the brochure cheerfully, saying. 'It's for you!'

He paused, incredulous.

The girl shook the magazine in her hand, still demonstrating her joy.

Then, his attention was brought on the brochure and like an animal doing the first steps, he took it.

'Have a nice day, sir!' little redbonnet said before going in her way cavorting with her basket.

'Strange girl. I thought I was...' Fhil said, pondering. But he soon took a closer look at what he had in hand.

'Now, my research will be much more quick with this brochure, won't it? That's great.' he thought aloud.

He examined the brochure and noticed with bliss Karin's mansion. He decided that he would go see Karin as soon as possible after a tour of the city.

Search check

To find Karin's mansion:
here are my bonuses to my roll

search +7
brochure +11
mansion +36
Karin is waving at me + oh wait... neverminded...

Anyway, what are the attractions written on the brochure? I'll go at the nearest from my entrance.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Bryant looks up at Richard's words, then holds up a finger.

"One second, young man."

Turning back to Sicily #367, he pulls out a small leather bag and counts out a few coins of a brilliant silver color.

"Ten platinum for you then, madam. And could you wrap it up for me, please? A light blue paper would go nicely, I feel."

His purchase successfully made, Bryant turns back to the stranger beside him.

"Advice on a curse? Best I can do there is don't get hit with one, lad. Or find yourself a cleric friend. It's not really my area of expertise...back when I was your age it was so complicated to learn another trade that most of us didn't even bother trying."

"Although, if you don't mind an old man prying, may I ask what sort of curse you're under?"

[Meek]

Okay Flame, slow your roll. I control the NPCs. I can forgive, done just once, something as minor as controlling the brochure girl, but I want to warn you, to never do that again, in any other instance, however minor you think it is. Things like Djinn adding the necklace to the stash without my saying so are natural because it's an inanimate generic object in a logical location. That makes sense. But what you did is playing a little too fast and loose for my tastes, as it just cut me out of a possible interaction. I'm not going to be reduced to an adjudicator for your rolls like some freeform DMs become. Slow down, and remember how D&D works – you throw your pitch, I decide what kind of swing you get, right down to who's throwing it and whether they curse your name before striking the homer on you.

The Brochure is a friendly, poster size publication that once unfolded gives a map of Yawnsburg. There are only five notable locations – Post office to the northeast, beside the Dancing Bugbear, another notable; the Government Office in the Southwest, right around your position; the Sicily Kiosk to the west; and the Apuleius Cottage, which reads "Invited guests only – Beware the Gurblegurb."


* * *

Seemingly, genuinely happy with receiving the gold, the Sicily clone hums a little ditty while putting the necklace in a cushioned little black box and wrapping it with blue paper. The box had an embossed gold standard of Sicily Blanche's – An S with two spears going through it and vines across it. She puts the money in a little box, and hands you the wrapped gift.

"Have a nice day sir, and be sure to continue to shop Sicily for all your magic item needs!"

[Flame_Excess]

Bang!
Ow!
Fhil looks all around him. Nothing that could have hit him...

He heads to the governement office trying to avoid as much interaction as possible.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard ignores the clone and focuses on the Old Warrior NPC. Excellent, Old NPC's are wonderful. Very polite, very curious, and often fairly informative.

Striking what he considers to be a suitably impressive pose, Linkely launches into his explanation, "Not at all, sir. I am only to happy to tell, for it is a crime. A crime not only against me, but against the entire literary world. No, the entire world. Period. I am Richard Linkley, the Greatest Poet of Our Age. I have been cursed with some sort of magical writers block. I suspect the curse was the doing of my Rival. Unfortunately, sir, I'm not quite sure who this Rival could be. Either way, I'm on a quest to get rid of it so that I may finally live up to my birthright."

A grin barely kept from his face, Linkely eagerly awaits the response. Wonderful, I'll know just what I have to do in a second.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

A bemused grin lights up Bryant Duorn's face.

"And how do you expect to quest without proof of a curse, knowledge of what type of curse it is, or any idea who this rival of yours is? You didn't think this through very well, did you?"

"Don't worry about it though...it's a common mistake for new adventurers. But I think you can push through it. You look like a promising young lad."

He extends a hand in greeting.

"My name's Bryant Duorn. It's a pleasure to meet you. And I'd be delighted to see the poems you wrote before your...incident. Poetry is rather a fondness of mine."

With that, he turns once more to the Sicily behind the store, and holds out the box.

"Here you are, my dear. A present for you. Do try and smile more often, won't you?"

Bryant catches his companions eye and winks.

"No, lad. I'm not crazy...just hopeful. I do this quite often. Maybe eventually one of them will realize that they can indeed have a personality. Even empty shells can be given a soul if the Great Plot calls for it. It just saddens me to look at them like this, and even as small a trinket as this may someday brighten their faces."

[Meek]

The Sicily Clone looks honestly, completely stunned.

"I,"

She blinks,

"I,"

She gapes,

"Umm...thank you."

She opens the box and puts on the necklace. She smiles.


* * *

After his close encounter of the townsgirl kind, Fhil stealthily heads around to the government office a short ways from the steps into town. It is a modest wood and concrete building situated against one of the crater walls, with white flowers growing around it, and the symbol of the Empire of Kriek on its front glass window – Four Pillars forming a cross, each pillar depicted so it appears built of a different material: clay, iron, concrete, glass, representing the four rulers of Kriek.

The front door, you can see, leads to a reception area. Beyond there is a leftmost door, and also a door going straight. Both are restricted only to employees. The receptionist is a butterfly-winged, white-robed young lady with a slightly green tinge to her skin, red eyes and bright pink lips. Charisma was most certainly NOT her dump stat, that is for sure. She leans on the reception desk with her elbows, looking out at the propaganda posters settled on the wall. They have patriotic messages – a lone man cutting across hordes of orcs, with the line "What encounters have YOU faced, for our freedom?" and another with a number of figures in shadow, standing in salute and at arms, on piles of unidentifiable enemy corpses. It reads "Martial Justice: They Fight So You Don't Have To."

I know this kinda contradicts what I said earlier, but at times there's not a lot for me to say if you're not going anywhere or doing anything (You're free to try going wherever you want, so if you want to go somewhere, be proactive about it) so at those times, feel free to converse with one another rather than wait for me. It's probably confusing, but you can probably judge when I'm not needed and you can just talk amongst yourselves and develop character relationship at those times.

[Helepolis]

Panitari raises one eyebrow. "Uh....sure...adversity and forging...right...I'm going to go over HERE now"

Taking her drink, she returns to her seat.

[Flame_Excess]

Standing still, eying his destination, Fhil ponders:

Huh? There's nothing interesting around here. What am I supposed to look for in here? Maybe that the treasure is inside... That must be it. I'll look for something until that I can find what I'm supposed to look for. But I really don't know what I'm looking for.

Fhil stands dazed.

Whatever. A good hunter doesn't have to know what his next prey will be.

Fhil looks on both sides.

...plus, there are no guards. The path is clear.

Once he arrives, he hides by the corner of the building and waits like a tiger ready to pounce at his next victim. In fact, he is waiting for a stranger to pass by the entrance door to have the opportunityto slip in through the crack before the door fully closes.

After twenty minutes of waiting, he changes his mind and decides to make his way in normally, like any other citizen. Soon he enters, but he freezes instantly as he sees the most wonderful creature he has ever seen in his life. At this moment, his only thought is:

...I just found 'everything there IS to look for'...

[Meek]

The woman twiddles her antennae as you go through the door.

"Good day citizen," She says disinterestedly, "Welcome to the Government Office of Kriek. If you are here to beg for pardon, mercy or for euthanasia, our Yawnsburg offices no longer supply those services. You'll have to go down the mountain to Temerest for those. Otherwise, how may I help you?"

On the corner, a voicebox tuned to the government channel plays news and patriotic music. It is a rather peculiar object, an arch-shaped wooden box with large red lips constantly singing, or speaking.

"Citizens, this is Myrr Midon, minister of propaganda! We have just received reports that the shoe production this year has increased by 23%, exceeding the goals of the last four-year economic plan!" An excitable, high pitched voice then says, "Let's all congratulate our shoe-making comrades all around Kriek for their patriotism and labor!"


* * *

This same voicebox message can be heard in the Tavern's antique voicebox, a much larger and dustier model than the one in the Government Office, and with comparably larger lips.

"Oh my!" The bar maid says, "Hooray for our shoe-making comrades!"

She is quite alone in celebrating, it would seem.

[Helepolis]

Panitari sighs once more, and has more of her drink.

I knew there was a reason I despised these places...I really need to get out of here soon...or at least DO something...

She looks around the bar, almost hoping for a fight to break out.

A chair to the head would be worth it in this place. Strewth...

[Flame_Excess]

...may I help you, repeats Fhil, almost singing the words. No, nothing.

I, I mean yes, I would like to know what's behind these walls in this building. If it's in the brochure that blond girl left me at the entrance, it must be for a good reason, and not only because there is a butterfly-woman in here with antennaes and wings and who can be fed like in a zoo. Unless...unless it is the case. You see, I have wild empathy. Maybe that I'm currently using my talent without knowing it, after all. It's hard to judge since I've never really been using this talent actively.

Feeling like he is rambling, Fhil stops rambling. He stands there, trying to think a way to catch up with the odd conversation he aborded with the young lady.

I might have an idea of...

Then Fhil's brain goes off on a vivid experience of his imagination where he and the receptionist are somewhere else alone and looking at each other with great passion, a patriotic music in the background and...

No.

Fhil blinks.

I don't know. So why don't you just tell me where I can find a copy of a Sexy Magazine in this town, if you know how I can get any?

And he would probably have added something else if he didn't remember that he was in a civilised establishment.

[Meek]

The woman raises an eyebrow.

"Sir, this government office is a bureaucratic institution. We run surveys, polling, propaganda, process complaints and votes, and deal with paperwork. There's nothing tourist-y to this place. Also, If I might ask, are you confused? Or high off Gold Algae?"

One of the doors in the back opens while you were talking, and a short, rather girlish looking woman with golden-brown hair in twin tails comes out. She is dressed in a white cloak with a very large collar worn over what appears to be a skin-tight black garment with a pleated black skirt, and a number of red belts, and with two shayangian swords, one hanging from each side of her. She has an ID tag for Martial Justice #5 on her cloak.

She walks out into the reception lobby, stares at Phil with a disinterested face, and then looks at the receptionist.

"Minerva, I'm going to go to the gate now. We'll be enforcing the new toll from now on. Probably for a month or so. Also, call the base in Temerest and ask what I'm supposed to do about those Jonas brothers up in the mountains."

She looks at Fhil again, saying "Good day, comrade," and unless interrupted, will leave then.

Minerva's attention returns to Fhil.


* * *

Sorry Penrill, gonna move on up a little without ya.

The environment at the Tavern remains much the same, until the front doors creak open, and a rather tall (about six foot tall), pretty and curvaceous woman with long, wavy golden hair in a turtleneck and trousers walks in. She sits down, adjusts her glasses, and drops a platinum on her table. "Most horrible drink you have, or a Shayangian Throat Thrasher. Whichever is worse."

Panitari instantly recognizes her, unless she's lived under a rock for the past thirty years – it's Argea Clamington, renowned editor.

[Helepolis]

Panitari smiles.

I do believe this counts as interesting.

She will move to the table Argea had taken, and gesture to the chair.
"Mind if I join you?"

[Meek]

Argea smiles. "I don't mind at all. But at this table, you have to drink hard." She says, looking amused. "Are you up for it? I don't want to have to cart around a passed out little girl...there's already enough rumors."

[Helepolis]

Panitari sighs. "I'm 65 years old...Hell, I'm probably older then you. I think I can hold my liquor. I'm not exactly new at the whole adventuring schtick."

[Flame_Excess]

Gold Algae? Never been called like that. I actually I live in the woods, not in water... he replies to himself, the two ladies now being busy talking to each other.

Then, Fhil's attention draws suddenly on the two unusual swords. He listens to the conversation but his eyes stay fixed.

When the girlish looking woman approaches the exit, Fhil doesn't hesitate and well coordinates his plan.

Is that a Martial Justice number five tag on there? pointing out the insciption on her cloak.

With the speed of the lightning, he throws his hand on the hilt of one of the two swords and draws it.


Is that a dex check?
(aye never did a roll)
[1d20+5]
Or reflex?
[1d20+10]


As she reacts, he prances aside and then looks at the butterfly-like creature.

I'm not an aquatic elf! Did you really think I was?

Fhil starts giggling.

[Penril]

Alexi stared morosely into the bottom of his cup, trying to divine an answer as to what to do next. As holidays go, this one had not been particularly relaxing. His side still ached from being hit by that branch and the fraying edges of his drab overcoat were caked in mud.

Alexi rolled his eyes at the loud woman's request, wondering why people chose to waste good platinum on toxic beverages. Platinum, shiny platinum. Not like dull and dirty bronze, so dense to seem almost wooden, platinum always seemed light and magical. Alexi remembered platinum and reflected on all the platinum he himself had once frittered away on whimsical trinkets. Such wonderful times.

[Lepre_Khan]

The Greatest Poet of Our Age stood stunned, mouth gaping before taking the proffered hand. He wasn't shocked by giving the clone a necklace. Well, ok, perhaps a little shocked, but he was far more shocked by the name. Bryant Duorn? I've heard that name before. He should be dead. Richard shuts his mouth and gulps. He's no NPC.

Recovering, Richard tries to--as the bard says--'play it cool'. He fails and merely succeeds in appearing slightly rude.

"Mr. Duorn, hmmm? That's a good name. There was a hero in the Second Age named Duorn, was he an ancestor of yours?"

Realizing he was still shaking Bryants hand, Linkely lets the warrior free of his poetic vise before continuing in a slightly more embarrassed tone.

"Anyway, I thought that sort of detail didn't matter? As an adventurer shouldn't one be able to just follow along the Great Plot and have it all work out?"

Knowledge (Poetry) [roll0]

If I haven't heard of Duorn, I can edit that part out. Pretty much all that my gent does, or at least did, is read old poems so I figured there was a chance he had come across our grizzled hero in some sort of tale.

[Meek]

Flame, it's [roll#]1d20+Mod[/roll#], remove the # symbols and replace Mod with the appropriate number. That would be a Sleight of Hand check, which you don't have ranks in, so it'd be a dex check.

* * *

"Umm, madams...we don't really carry anything heavy." The little bar maid says.

"Jeez," Argea says, "I'm glad I'm out of here in a bit. Give me the most expensive then, and keep the change."

Argea flips a platinum coin over to her. The bar maid juggles it between her hands, surprised by the amount.

"So, what's your name then, my dear pseudo-lolita? And what sort of adventure are you on now?" Argea directs at Panitari.


* * *

You most certainly know of Bryant Duorn, Richard. He was a grizzled veteran of many of the old wars, even before the Empire of Kriek was actually formed. A lot of the places he hailed from and battles he won were either inscribed only as folk tales, or changed completely by the Propaganda and Land Use ministries, thereby making it very difficult to discern the exact truth about them. But you know, if anything, Duorn is a decently mythic figure amongst those with knowledge of old culture.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Bryant Duorn grabs his wrist, flexing his fingers to make sure he still has full motor functions.

"Leave me a hand, will you?"

He grins again, this time a wide smile.

"Eh. No worries, lad. Just go easy on an old man."

"And yes, I suppose I could just follow along and admit that my fate isn't in my hands. But what's the fun of that? Imagine life as a corridor that you have to walk down...why just walk? Run, skip, open doors...you'll get to the end eventually, but in your own time and your own way. Don't just give in."

"As for the detail, I feel it matters. After all, everyone is an adventurer. One doesn't have to sally forth fighting dragons to be considered a hero. But maybe that's just my age getting the best of me."

His grin rapidly shifts from happy to mischevious, and he gives the poet a sideways glance.

"After all, it's been a long time since the Second Age."

[Helepolis]

"The name is Panitari, Ms Clamington. And I'm not really on an adventure right now...just sort of wandering around, making money...and desperately regretting choosing this town. It's not a very exciting place, I must say."

[Meek]

"It is most certainly not," Argea says, "But I'll be leaving soon anyway. Back to all the dull paperwork in Tiddleton. Ah, that Karin, she needs to take a break sometime."

She sighs. The bar maid, inching forward with a tray, so carefully she seems to be moving a square every other round, raises it to the table, which is about as tall as her. She slides the tray towards the center, on her tip-toes.

The maid looks at the drinks as though expecting them to fall over any moment. Then her face turns red and she jumps up and down. "I did it!" She says, "Amelia Butterfeet finally delivered drinks properly!"

The bartender gives a thumbs up.

Argea takes a drink. "This is about as hard as lemonade," She laments, "I'm really missing Tiddleton right now... Say, if you're looking for work, I think I might have something for you. But given how disorganized Karin is, I don't know exactly how long your job might last. You okay with uncertainty?"

[Helepolis]

Panitari brightens. "I can handle uncertainty...anything is better then this. Is this a solo job?"

[Meek]

"No, actually. I'm supposed to be looking for more people. But I decided instead I would come here and get drunk. With that dashed away from me...I decided to look for more people again."

She stands up and says aloud, "Any adventurers of a half-decent level that want to work for somebody rich, famous and currently crippled?"

Instantly, a goblin stands on a table, saying "I'm a Truenamer! 5th level!"

Argea throws her glass at it, striking it in the chin. It sits back down, weeping. "Truenamer? For the love of crap! Nobody sane levels in that! Anyone else?"

[Helepolis]

Panitari smiles. "Well, while I hate to interrupt what is obviously going to be a masterful tirade, do you want me to wait here, or is there somewhere else I can go to wait for the rest of what will undoubtably prove a motley crew of adventurers?"

[Lepre_Khan]

Yes, it's been nearly...

Linkely chokes on a verbal pretzel as he realizes what Duorn just did. Raising an eyebrow, he attempts to regain some measure of dignity, "Oh, it wasn't that long, sir. You still look very fearsome. I don't suppose you'd let me journey with you? Learning the tricks of the trade from one such as yourself would be an honor."

Admiring himself for his slickness, Richard begins to approach the door, "I'll tell you what, let's discuss it over an ale at the local tavern. It seems the traditional thing to do, right?"

[Meek]

"We'll wait right here!" Argea declares.

She pulls out a bag of holding, that you were sure you hadn't seen on her before. Perhaps due to lazy item management. Regardless, Argea reaches into this bag, and begins to pull something out of it. Something large. At first you see a backside with a pig's tail, covered in fur, with one thick, bear-like leg and a goat's thin, cloven leg sharing the same rear end. Then the other half comes out – and it's as though a gerbil had been pounded repeatedly with a hammer until its face resembled a hog's, but also a hyena's. By whatever feat of creation, the animal that comes out, with a front leg like a lion and another with a talon, atrophied wings coming out of its neck and dangling like ears, strikes you as something that no official monster manual could ever even approximate.

And this something licks Argea's hand lovingly.

"This is my gurblegurb, George. He is quite smart you know. At one point he even ran for Prime Minister of Roma, but they couldn't handle his revolutionary ideas." She says proudly, "He can sniff a competent adventurer from a mile away. And can violently drag them the whole mile too."

Panitari, George smells rather bad to you. He smells like the Kriek Animated Object Railway tracks. Yes, indeed – he smells like railroading.

[Helepolis]

Panitari coughs politely into her hand, trying to avoid inhaling through her nose, due to the awful stench of railroading gurblegurb. "That is quite the talent...".

She then sits back, waiting for this creature to do it's thing.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

"That may not be as good a plan as you think it is, lad. You've never been to the Dancing Bugbear, have you? It's...well...look at it this way. It rolled all ones on the random tavern table. You're in for quite a treat."

"Follow me."

Bryant Duorn leads Richard through the streets, pointing out the people of the town and telling small anecdotes about each one until they reach the door of the Dancing Bugbear. Here he cracks open the door, glances inside, and then swings it open and beckons for Richard to follow him inside.

"We're lucky. The cloaked man in the corner isn't here today, so we'll have a chance to get a drink without being irritated by requests to go to obscure places at midnight. You have no idea how annoying that can get. And a bit of free advice...if you want a drink here, go up and get it yourself, unless you don't like your clothes much. Amelia Butterfeet is a nice girl, but a little unsteady."

[Flame_Excess]

I don't mind if you do my rolls.


1d20+5

EDIT: Something's wrong. What is it?

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

--Never mind. Apparently I was wrong. I don't know what the matter is, as my test didn't show what I thought it should have.--

[Meek]

To be honest I hate the GITP roller, I find it horribly wonky. If you want a better roller: http://invisiblecastle.com/roller/ and then post the link back here in your post, along with your results written down, as I said in the sixteen questions. The format is: [Action]: [Roll Result] + [Modifier] = [Total]. I will for example roll for you right now then.

Sleight of Hand: 12 + 5 = 17

http://invisiblecastle.com/roller/view/1599793/

I don't know if I interpreted your post correctly (it was kind of vague, but you mentioned looking at her swords, so I figure since that's still subject object, that's what you're grabbing...).

But anyway, based on that result...

The girl notices you trying to grab the sword from the corner of her eye. She takes a step forward, just in time for the handle to be out of your reach. In one fluid motion, she turns, draws sword and strikes you dead between the eyes with the flat of the blade. Thanks to Iajutsu bonus dice, take 20 nonlethal.

She then points the sword edge at you. She looks positively furious.

"What do you think you are doing, CITIZEN?" She says, apparently making quite sure you realize the difference between that and comrade, "Have you fallen off a tree and scrambled your brains? Or do you like a nice, cold stay in jail?"

Minerva speaks up from the counter, "He's just walked in here acting like a lunatic, talking about Wild Empathy checks, and wanting to know what we have in the restricted areas of the building, and asking for Sexy Magazines."

"Ah," The officer girl says, "Guess we can add Disruption of Public Service and Espionage to the list of your crimes. But since I'm a just person, I'm going to give you a single round to convince me that you are not meant to be tossed in a cold cell for a few weeks. Talking is a free action son, I suggest you take it."

Just wanted you to know Flame, that I believe I warned before about wacky shenanigans and how the NPCs might take them, hence why I took this measure currently. Especially in a government office, that kind of crazyness, while humorous, isn't going to fly. It was all fine and good for a while...but then this thing with the swords. Now you look like an off-your-rocker terrorist. The rest of the stuff just made you look like a funny confused guy, but reason me this – would you try to grab a cop's gun or tazer? Or if I interpreted your posts wrong, and you're actually taking out your own sword...that's pretty much just as bad.

Now, I don't want to look like the bad guy here, or look like I've got it out for you Flame. I really don't have it out for anyone. I'm unbiased as they come. But this is one of those things I explicitly warned against, because this is the kind of thinking (It's a comedy game so I can be whacky and crazy and illogical!) that can ruin the experience for everyone. If the other PCs had been associated with you at this time, it could've led to either party conflict, or their being accomplices in your (in the government's eyes) crazy scheme to murder an officer or whatever.

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil's look is empty. He glares at the sword pointed on him.

It’s the first time that I enter in a city building. It’s true so no bluff attempt is made. It’s not the first time that Fhil enters a city, though. A ‘bureaucratic institution’ apparently is the worst place among all others to break the convention. I’d rather leave instead of causing any trouble without willing to. Only if I do so I worry that I will never be able to save my tribe from eradication. You may put me in jail, Meek. It will only be fair enough, I am well aware of this. I just wanted to abuse of my character’s ignorance, especially for such an odd experience to enter a government office when he has strictly no clue in about the civil laws.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard followed the warrior into the Dancing Bugbear, quite a bit more nervous now than he had been when he first proposed the change of scenery. Taverns in poems seemed far more warm and cozy, this was downright seedy.

This was most certainly not a place that would be approved of by Mother.

That was a comforting thought.

"Right, you grab us some seats and I'll get the drinks? What would you like?"

Richard had obviously not yet noticed the famous (and beautiful) editor and the young girl. His reaction would have been far more...intense...if he had.

[Meek]

The Martial Justice officer raises an eyebrow, and lowers her sword.

"So you're some kind of woodland hippie? Didn't think any of them were left. Look 'ere son. Here's some pointers – don't go acting out unless you're friends with people or they'll think you're creepy. Here–"

She takes a book out of her cloak (you have no idea from where) and hands it to you. It reads "Laws and Conventions of Paradiso" and it's by Karin Apuleius.

"Offers a +10 circumstance bonus to Knowledge: Law and to Common Sense checks." She says. "My name's Teletha Ironheart, and I'll let you go for now, but keep the shenanigans to a minimum. People will think you have 5 wisdom or something."

She turns around and leaves.

Minerva remains in her counter, toying with her antennae.


* * *

As Bryant Duorn and Richard Linkely enter the building, the Gurblegurb raises its head and goes positively crazy. It begins running around in circles, as though chasing its own bloated rear end, before raising its head in a howl and charging towards Bryant. It leaps, and tackles him to the ground, licking his face repeatedly. Its tongue is the shape of a jellyfish. Somehow.

"Ah ha! It caught an adventurer!"

The goblin in the back of the bar looks positively dejected.

Argea quickly rises to a stand and approaches Duorn and Linkely. "Looks like I roped two more adventurers here! It's almost a whole party! Panitari dear, come over!" She looks rather excited. "I love it when George is so happy. Anyway – how would the two of you like work? Don't worry, it involves considerably less gurblegurb licking than this."

She says this as the Gurblegurb continues its machine-gun jellyfish licking of Bryant's face.

I figured you can't beat a 28 strength check :smalltongue:.

[Helepolis]

Panitari stands, and walks over. "Excellent...2 more"

She inclines her head in greeting to the both of them.

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil notices the woman playing with her antennaes and automatically starts looking in the manual to see if there is something to know on how to approach a government receptionist and not look like a low charisma lunatic.

He flips the pages ferociously and is very attentive for images.

[Lepre_Khan]

Stunned by both the beautiful (and sexy) editor and the ugly (and smelly) gurblegurb (Richard wasn't sure which had the larger impact) the poet, using his full poetical prowess and master over words, "Uh..umm...of course Ms. Clamington!"

[Meek]

Fhil, the book has some choice things to say about Kriek receptionists, in the words of Karin Apuleius:

"Receptionists for Kriek government offices expect an impressive level of detail for their help. It is almost better to ask the locals whatever it is you need than it is to ask a Receptionist from a Government Office. If you do require certain services that locals cannot provide (such as Euthanasia) then you should be ready to give your name, age, address (if any), place of birth, exact query in a succinct fashion (no maybes, or buts; act like you are completely sure) and maybe give a small vegetable as a gift."


* * *

Smiling, Argea whistles for her Gurblegurb to get off Bryant. "Well, that's one! Now that you can speak, what do you say, sir?" She asks him.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Bryant Duorn stands up and whips his face off on his shirtsleeve. For the first time he appears rather put out.

"Madam, when I arrived here I specifically checked to ensure that no men were lurking in corners, and no obviously inhuman visitors haunted the counter. There is no magical cataclysm approaching, and no goblin tribe within miles of town. Yet still I get offered work by people in taverns. I'm ninety-eight! Is "adventurer" written all over my face?"

"I'll give you two rounds to convince me that this isn't something ridiculous. Beginning now."

[Flame_Excess]

...oh! won't work I don't have any vegeta-...

Fhil looks completely lost.

...this is way off topic. Actually, the whole book sounds totally random. I guess I won't need it.

Fhil moves to the counter.

Its author must have a lot of time to waste. Do you know who in this world is...?

Fhil looks on the cover of the book.

...Karin...Apulei...us?

Fhil judges Minerva's reaction and then understands his lesson:

...or should I ask the locals...? Yes, that's what I'll do.

So, unless she has anything to say, that's what I'll do. :smallbiggrin:

[Lepre_Khan]

Horrified by the reaction of the somewhat Legendary Warrior to the very Legendary Editor, Richard attempts to intervene."I'm sorry Ms. Clamington, he must not have recognized you."

Attempting to pull Duorn to the side, Richard whispers into his ear, "That's Argea Clamington, arguably the fourth richest character in the game. She's the editor of Karin Apuleius. THE Karin Apuleius."

Pulling out his copy of 'Sexy Writer Magazine', Linkely shoves it into Bryants hands.

"This Karin Apuleius. She's written more books than anyone else, the Great Author of Our Age. My counterpart, you see. In both looks, brains, and talents. She just has to meet me, it will be marvellous. Sparks will fly, I can guarantee a natural 20 on our love at first site checks..."

Trailing off, Richard realizes he's getting somewhat off topic and into his own private little fantasy that the world isn't quite ready to deal with. He lamely ends, "Anyway, she's very important and very rich. Her quest has to be important for us, maybe saving the world or even...dare I say it? Helping with Karin's new novel."

Moonstruck and doe-eyed are somewhat standard descriptions of young folk in idealized love. Looking at Richard, a writer of no particular talent may use such cliches. However, the writer would be wrong. Richard was far beyond innocent love, nearly into the 'creepy stalker' camp. The more accurate description for a man in Richard's shoes would be something along the lines of "moon-eyed and doestruck" with a smattering of "lunacy" and an unhealthy dollop of "unholy lust(love) glinting in his eye".

[Meek]

Argea notices Richard's reaction and looks light-heartedly amused.

"Well sir," She begins, addressing Duorn, "I can see that you are a great man of our age! And perhaps one or two previous ages. I can't guarantee exactly what kind of work Karin needs done, but she's writing a new book, and her adventuring tends to end up being quite grandiose. She once defeated the great Ogre King Galmarol because she wanted to study a wiffleduff. That he wore as a hat. Karin herself might not understand it, but pretty much every book she writes ends up to the benefit of the world at large." She smiles as though recalling what Karin has done so far, "Anyway, right now, she has both her legs broken, a mithral rod in her spine, and a cast in her arm so thick she can only move her thumb. I suspect whatever she does will likely depend– well, no, it'll WHOLLY depend, upon your cooperation. Think about it. Another big adventure to seal the deal huh?"

"Also, there'll be loot involved." She adds afterwards. You get the feeling she thinks that is the convincing part.


* * *

Fhil, the townspeople all direct you to the large cottage up in the North, but also advise you not to get close uninvited, as Karin Apuleius owns a crazy gurblegurb that is trained to sniff out adventurers. Instead, most people you ask advise that you wait around near the cottage area for anyone who DOES have an invitation, and try to get them to let you join their entourage.

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil still has his Law book in hand. He first thought about leaving it at Minerva's counter but he wanted more to leave as soon as possible the debilitating professionalism found in the government office. At last, he is speaking with someone more jovial than the previous ones.

Why are you directing me up north? I didn't ask for directions. Wait! Is a gurgleburb like a wolf pet? It must be really fun to play with!

On these words, Fhil heads to the cottage, full of energy.

[Meek]

The people you talked to all had the same response to that Fhil:

"The only reason we see knuckleheads like you here is 'cause of Karin Apuleius. So hurry up and bother her and not us!"

As you head up north, you see Gnomes flying around strapped to kites, riding the wind. Many of them spontaneously burst into flames and crash into the ground, but this seems a normal occurrence, as people clap whenever it happens. You find a tall staircase like the one that led you into Yawnsburg to start with, but this one leads to Karin's cottage. And beyond – to the opposing peak.

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil climbs up the stairs, vigilant to any movement.


Listen check, therefore moving half speed, (as if it matters.)
[Action]: [roll] 1d20+4= (By the way, what's missing?)

Gah... Listen check on Invisible Castle...and now the link insertion isn't working properly!
Gah...http://invisiblecastle.com/roller/view/1601824/

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Bryant listens to the speech rather half-heartedly, although he does wince visibly at the description of Karin's current condition. When Ms. Clamington mentions loot, however, he straightens up, giving her a very cross glare indeed.

"Ms. Clamington, and you not only ask me to assist you, but you pratically take it for granted! Then, as if that weren't enough, you seem to be implying that the prospect of looting and thievery will draw my attention and seal the bargain. I must say I am rather insulted. I consider myself an easy-going man, Ms. Clamington, but I do not appreciate someone besmirching my honor in such a manner."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going up to speak with Ms. Apuleius about this particular occurrence. Perhaps you will learn to be more cordial in the future."

With that, Bryant Duorn stands up, turns around, and begins heading towards the house of Karin Apuleius.

Yeah...sorry to delay the beginning with this sort of action, but you did hit on one of those little things that bugs him. I think it'll work out though, as he's headed towards Karin anyway.

[Meek]

You see nothing up there at first Fhil, and hear nothing but the mountain breeze and a few birds, and exploding Gnomes. You stop fifteen steps from Karin's cottage. You see the columns stretching down your left flank, dug into the slope, holding up the patched wooden floor. You also note one column has a face and is made of steel. It is a warforged column.

It produces a small arm, and waves happily. "Hi there!"


* * *

Oh snap, ninja'd. Adding this on for Bryant.

Argea looks even more amused. "Ah, sorry, sorry. I had no idea you were so...interesting. Seems we're all headed in the same direction then! Works for me regardless."

Almost reflexively she takes Panitari's hand. "Come dear! Don't get lost now."

She then whistles for the Gurblegurb to follow, and leads on to Karin's cottage, with the beast trailing behind with its jellyfish tongue hanging. It sniffs Richard every once in a while, then draws back, and moves its mouth like it was tasting the smell.

[Helepolis]

Panitari sighs, and follows along, hand in hand with Argea, not caring enough to pull her hand away, and realising that this basically ensures her safety from the weirdness of the town (other then Argea herself, obviously), for the time being.

[Flame_Excess]

A variety of questions swiftly make their way to Fhil's brain: Who are you? What are you? Am I invited afterall? Where is the burblegurg? Why do people here encourage kids to play with kites and fire? But in the end, he speaks with most reluctant serenity to the arm:

Hi, are you Karin?

Fhil is confused, although he tries not to show it. He would appreciate much to look for information on this cottage and this unusual arm-speaking-column in the book he still has in hand. But that would mean Fhil would have to lower his sight to read and he despised that idea above all else.

[Meek]

The warforged column replies, "Nope! I'm Kakarooke! I help hold up this house. I also talk to birds, I took some Druid class levels just for that! It's quite amazing. Karin is the purplish-haired girl with the glasses, also noticeable now due to the wheelchair and massive amounts of plaster! She is upstairs, but not seeing anybody right now."

[Flame_Excess]

Well I wasn't here to see her anyway because only one person might help me out and that person is very special. She's very sexy... So you can keep on talking to your birds, and I'll be on my way.

[Meek]

"Oh? What person are you looking for? I might be able to help!" Kakarooke says. "The birds tell me things!"

Unless everyone else posts with a bit more frequency, I'll have to slow down in a major way for Flame, and of course Panitari'll be in Limbo for a bit anyway. Also, maybe I'm jumping a little fast here, but I'm kinda disappointed with the posting thus far, there's been days where certain characters where not seen even once, and I'd rather it not get so horribly lopsided. At least a post per day please. And if you can't, tell me why in the OOC topic. It's early and I am already feeling kinda weary of how this has started.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Bryant steps forward and stands before Kakarooke, one hand on his hip.

"Mr. Kakarooke, if you would be so kind as to tell your mistress that Mr. Bryant Duorn has a complaint to lodge about her editorial staff? If she could find time to speak to me at some point I'd appreciate it greatly. But tell her to take her time...I have nothing better to do."

With that he leans up against the rock face and looks at those who accompanied him to the house.

"Mind if I inquire who you all are? I don't recall seeing any of you around, and I'm generally quite good with names. Speaking of which, mine is Bryant Duorn. Pleasure to meet you all, I'm sure."

[Meek]

Djinn, I'm sorry I didn't make this clear, but you aren't there yet >_> I kinda wanted comment from Richard before steering you over. But hell, I can work with this.

"Oh my! You guys really snuck up on me! How did you do that?" Kakarooke asks.

"Time Stop scroll. Greater Teleport scroll. High Use Magic Device." Argea says, "Anyway, Kakarooke's just a column, so we can stop talking to him and head on up. Also, who's the woodsman?"

"He's my friend. He's confused. I think somebody hit him with an Insanity spell as a child, when his saving throws were soft and fleshy!" Kakarooke joyously says.

"...Right."

Everyone involved, of course, notices Fhil in the steps. Likewise Fhil, you see everyone just sort of pop in out of nowhere.

[Lepre_Khan]

Sorry, Richard was just sort of following along, didn't think it was worth a comment. I'll add it now, yesterday was a bit more hectic than I had counted on. I'll give you at least one a day henceforth.

Mortified by the reaction of Bryant, Richard follows politely and bashfully on behind the beautiful (and sexy) editor. His eyes are lowered out of shame--though he's certainly enjoying the view.

Now on the way to--finally--meet the Great Author of Our Age Richard feels his palms begin to grow sweaty and starts to fidget with his hair. He needs all the luck he can get on Karin's upcoming True Love at First Site roll---fate or no fate, modifiers always help.

[Meek]

If anyone's waiting for me, I kinda don't have anything more to say right now and would like it if you guys would interact. I guess. Specifically since you just saw Flame's character for the first time and he's seeing you people.

[Helepolis]

Panitari sighs, and mutters to herself "And now we're speaking to columns...and crazy people who talk to columns...save me from these people...or at least pay me for hanging around with them..."

Speaking up, she turns to Argea "Well, since all of us have the same aim, couldn't you just take us in, or something, now, please?"

She tries her best to look cute,

[Meek]

Okay, moving on then. Maybe I'm just used to more participation and am expecting too much. I don't know. You guys tell me what's wrong. I'm just feeling a little weary as I expected everything to be a little more...involved, I suppose. So seeing some people posting in frequency, others not posting much at all, this constantly shifting, etc. I don't know, maybe I'm having an off week.

"Aww, you're adorable dear. But I wouldn't know if you all have the same aims. This nice old chap here seems to want to lodge a complaint, this poetic fellow seems to want...I don't even want to know, and...well fine. Let's go up then. Stay here gurbley. We can let everyone pass, it's fine."

The gurblegurb sits, and looks out at the town.

Argea addresses Fhil, "I suppose you want to go up too, so you can. Just follow up."

She leads up the final steps, to the Apuleius cottage front door, opens the darkwood door, and enters. You step into a vast lobby that could not possibly be contained in such a small home. It is still made of wood, yes, but given the size of the home from the outside, this should be the entirety of it! Beyond you see a number of adjoining halls, windows on the walls showing the outside, the tall roof above held by vertical beams, and in the center of the lobby, there are a number of couches. One of the couches, however, has wheels, and a steel skeleton holding it up.

"Oh Kariiiiiin, we have company!" Argea says.

The chair rotates as though by magic.

Sitting on the moving couch is Karin Apuleius – a girlishly pretty lady about five feet and three inches in height, with purple plum colored hair in a shoulder length, straight cut in a slight sort of bob. She has thin glasses in front of her gold eyes. Her figure is thin and very modest, not a picture of sexual curvature at all, and the plaster doesn't help. She is dressed in a beige vest over a white shirt, and the one arm not covered in plaster has a long sleeve with onyx cufflings at the end. She has, that you can see from the tips of the fingers, one green sock and one yellow sock on her feet.

Upon seeing you, she tilts her head slightly to the left, smiling.

"That's how she greets people." Argea said. "Karin, these are your replacement adventurers. Hopefully. Maybe."

Karin straightens her head. "Oh, that's great! Very great! Most splendid indeed. Why are they old and crooked though?"

"...Don't be so damn picky."

"I'm not being picky! I'm just wondering."

"This one isn't old." Argea points at Panitari.

"Okay. Then my question becomes: why did you collect me a bunch of pedophiles."

She says all this rather honestly, with a sort of girlish naivety, as though she has no idea she's being eccentric or offensive.

[Helepolis]

Panitari sighs, but also smirks, and pipes up "Technically, Miss Apuleius, they aren't pedophiles, because I'm not as young as I look."

[Lepre_Khan]

"Also, I can't say I'm particularly attracted to her in anyway--she certainly can't compare with your ethereal beauty. Err, no offense, girl. Woman. Ma'am. A bit off put the presence of others at such an important meeting, Linkely nods politely to Panitari, and then strides forward resolutely towards Karin, reciting as he goes.
"Oh Karin,
So oft have I invoked thee for my Muse,
And found such faire assistance in my verse,
As every Alien pen hath got my use,
And under thee their poesy disperse.
Thine eyes, that taught the dumb on high to sing,
And heavy ignorance aloft to flie,
Have added feathers to the learned's wing,
And given grace a double majestie.
Yet be most proud of that which I compile,
Whose influence is thine and born of thee,
In others'works thou dost but mend the style
And arts with thy sweet graces graced be.
But thou art all my art, and dost advance
As high as learning my rude ignorance."

When (and, admittedly, if) Richard reaches Karin, he bends his knee and kisses her un-plastered hand.

Gotcha, apologies. Every DM has different standards, some like to keep inter-personal banter to a minimum until the mission is established. I shall start to interact more henceforth. Let's just assume Richard is too shy with the prospect of meeting his boyhood crush/idol/fantasy to even worry about interacting with anybody else.

[Meek]

Back for the day, and today will decide whether or not a lot of my alternate slots open up! Because I've gotten a number of people who want to play this game, and I picked certain ones, and it seems I could have picked better. I don't care how good you are at rping, if you can't show up to post, and you can't give me the courtesy of a quick post in the OOC telling me you can't post for X amount of time, then I'm sorry. In fact I don't even really care if I sound like a jerk anymore, or if maybe my standards are too high. There are people here waiting to game, not just the alternates, but also people like Helepolis who have consistently posted, and Lepre who started off kinda shaky but wants to do better. So after today, I'm shaving off anyone who doesn't post at least once per day, and who doesn't give me a reason why they can't take five minutes a day out of their lives to do the guy running the game and the other players a fair bit of courtesy. What I WANT to do is to up the post requirement to twice a day so the game would actually move a little bit, but it seems my standards ARE too high on that.

Now, I'm touchy on this. I'm REALLY touchy on this. I'm Lewis Black touchy over this. I reserve the right to be that sort of touchy, as it's a huge peeve of mine and one that is important. I came from a board that I started with a lot of friends and it suffered heavily from people not participating. I also come from a number of rather stricter boards where the post count minimum is a little higher (two or three per day, which I feel is more optimal around ANY sort of game than once a day) and have a more abrasive tone, I would suppose, than GITP usually does. So I come here and I expect participation and I expect to be let known if I'm wasting my time or not checking this topic every other hour. And I check the OoC and what do you know? Nobody posting there either. So call me whatever names you please, or react however, just give me a sign. You are not letting me have fun by running my game how I would like it, and you are not letting other players have fun by having them show up here and see a stall or an awkward rollover of characters because you aren't posting. I don't want anyone to drop out, I would prefer it if you just did better. Because right now, I came in here with a gung-ho attitude, having left my old group that never posts behind and starting a new day and a game...and people are ditching me again. Which has just renewed my weariness.

[Flame_Excess]

(Back then, there was a woodsman...)

Things. Things? What kind of...

(Mr. Kakarooke, if you would be so kind...
...I have nothing better to do.)

Fhil is in shock being caught by surprise at such an exciting moment of his life.

What!? WHO ARE YOU?

Fhil points his finger toward the party.

(Mind if I inquire who you all are?...
...
He's confused. I think somebody hit him with an Insanity spell as a child, when his saving throws were soft and fleshy!" Kakarooke joyously says...)

You're are all out of your mind! Putting so much skills points in use magic device is so useless! You're a waste!

( ...Right! )

Fhil stares at the group with eyes of a gargoyle.

( "And now we're speaking to columns...and crazy people who talk to columns...save me from these people...or at least pay me for hanging around with them..." )

To that, Fhil answers with a face expression as if saying: Pfff, like you're worthy of that gold!

(Argea addresses Fhil, "I suppose you want to go up too, so you can. Just follow up.")

Fhil looks around himself and looks back at Argea, confused. This was the first time that he was being invited inside of a citizen's house. Maybe that villagers were more friendly that he could have expected at first sight, after all. Or that there were crazy people everywhere. Anyways, he declines, shaking his head like an animal after going in the water.

Once the group enters, there is only him and the gurblegurb left. And the forged arm, if anyone cares. Fhil approaches candidly the wtf-type-of-creature and growls:

Rawr! Rrrrr. Rawr!

[Meek]

The gurblegurb stares at you Fhil. It seems to be making an amused face.


* * *

"Oh my! That is a very beautiful poem." Karin blushes a little when kissed. "It's very nice, reminds me of the other 345,678 poems I have gotten by mail. So much work put into them. It's nice to have someone recite one in person though." She sounds perfectly innocent again, as though she was putting you down unknowingly. "Maybe you could recite the others sometime. It'd be splendid for everyone. By the way, what's everyone's names here?"

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil speaks to the gurblegurb almost whispering.

I bet that you're intelligent and that you're mocking me.
...
But can you speak? Hah! No, you can't! NO! You can't!

And on these words Fhil heads joyously to enter Karin's house.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard blushes a little when Karin casually mentions the hundreds of thousands of letters she had received, "Right. Err. I didn't actually write that, it was by that barbarian/bard Bill the Spearshaker. I didn't think it would be fair to write a poem about you without meeting you in person. Even my talent can't do justice to someone I've never met--even you, Karin. 'A prettier thought than a face.' Still, I would happily recite poems to you another time."

Still holding her hand, Richard turns back to face the party, "But, I suppose we must get down to business my Lady. I myself am Richard Linkely, the Greatest Poet of Our Age. That impressively burly warrior there is Bryant Duorn, the legendary warrior of the Second Age and, I assume, still a great warrior of Our Age. I...I confess I don't know that girl there. You know Ms. Clamington, of course. I think there was some sort of woodsman outside talking to your pillar."

Fhil enters the room after mocking the gurblegurb.

"Oh, there he is." Whispering to Karin in a clearly audible manner, "I think he might be a loon. Don't worry though, if he's offensive to you I will be glad to defend your honor."

[Helepolis]

Panitari makes a small bow. "My name is Panitari, Miss Apuleius. It is my pleasure to meet you. I don't know any of these others, myself, but I had the pleasure of making your fine editors acquaintance."

[Meek]

"That's fine, I can defend my own honor...if my magic worked." Karin says first, to Richard's last statement.

Argea blinks. "It doesn't work? But you have a hand free?"

"Right, yes. But. No."

Karin makes the gestures for a spell, and stretches her good arm so that it aims away from the group. A cone of fire shoots out for fifteen feet...but the flame does not disperse. Instead, it seems to roll over on itself, collect and compact into a wraith-like entity of flames with a large, ragged grinning face.

"PUNY HUMANS. IT IS I, THE GREAT LORD GALBION! AWAKENED AFTER MY THOUSAND YEAR SLEEP, THE REIGN OF HORROR SHALL BEGIN ANEW! MUAHAHAHA! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

He flies through the wall, and you can see him disappearing off into the sky, leaving scorching marks where he first appeared.

"I've also awakened the Ocean Lord Targos with a cantrip. But he was small. And I made an Awakened Dire Tesseract Ooze with a Summon Monster IV spell I was using to get a minion to make me coffee. It appeared outside and rolled down the opposing mountainside, however."

"Anyway!" She says sweetly, "It is nice meeting you all!" She bows her head.

[Helepolis]

Panitari's eyes go wide, but then she nods. "Now the fact that you have to hire random adventurers makes much more sense...how I can we..." She glances around at the others "...I be of assistance?"

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil inspects (with his eyes only) the surroundings to see if there would be anything interesting and worth to steal...

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard recoils slightly from Karin and stares at her hand--the hand he had just kissed and been clutching--the hand that had accidentally summoned all manner of dangerous and deadly creatures and then let them roam free without a second thought. "Err...yes, I suppose you can defend yourself. How can we help you? Richard gives Panitari what he considers to be a rather nasty look as he emphasizes the word 'we'. In reality, he simply looks as if he has to use the restroom rather urgently.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Bryant, who has been standing silently since the comment about the "old and crooked adventurers," sighs deeply.

"Of course. I should have known. Someone asks me for work in a bar and the fabric of reality is threatened. It never fails."

He walks toward Karin and holds out a hand.

"As my comrade here said, my name is Bryant Duorn. And, unfortunately, I rather suspect that I'm fated to assist you in this venture...even in retirement the great plot knows me for what I am. Which, by the way, is not old and crooked. Well, not crooked, anyway."

"Also, you might want to tell your friend there to be rather more polite when she asks for assistance...it doesn't reflect well on anyone when she accosts people in the manner she confronted me."

[Meek]

"You weren't polite?" Karin asks Argea.

"I don't have Detect Good at will," Argea says, "I made the relatively safe assumption that he'd want money."

"Oh, then it's a misunderstanding."

She smiles at everyone. "Okay then! What I want to hire you to do is assist me in research for a new book! I have no idea what it's about yet, but I plan to go a few places and see if any inspiration hits. Argea has to go back to Tiddleton and answer my fan mail and pay my bills and such, so it'll just be me, you guys, and my wheelchair!"

She looks out the window. "Oh and don't worry about Galbion, he's like a Challenge Rating 7, he'll probably go burn some buildings, and a couple of young level 3 heroes will embark on a quest to defeat him. It's just how the world works. They'll figure something out."

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard keeps thinking about Galbion. And the Ocean Lord Targos. And the Awakened Dire Tesseract Ooze. This appeal of adventure was somewhat dampened by a party member--even a super attractive and brilliant party member--that could, and probably would, kill you by accident. "Don't take this the wrong way, dear, but wouldn't it be best for you to sit at home and heal yourself before heading off with us?"

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil speaks out of nowhere in the back, almost hiding from light.

Super attractive?

Fhil chuckles.

She's nothing compared to others that I've seen. For exemple, one I've seen in a sexy magazine is so...she is so...

...sexy!

Do you have an idea of what I'm talking about?

[MorkaisChosen]

One of the side doors creaks open and what can only be described as a sight enters.

A tall, mechanical body- very similar to a Warforged, with a few subtle differences (mainly in that it is much more slender and delicate, with narrow fingers that seem designed more to hold a tool than a pen)- is topped by a flat face. Two sapphire blue eyes above a slot mouth top off the shining mithral ensemble, which says with a surprisingly likeable- bordering on attractive- tone, "I'm here to fix your boiler..."

It then pauses, glances around the room, and continues, "This doesn't look like a bedroom. Erm..."

"Very sorry about this, Ms. Karin, but your house appears to be somewhat averse to mechanics. And who might these people be?"

Hello, people. I'm that replacement. Also, if people have the ability to know what class people are, I'm a Warlock. More will emerge, but I think it's more fun to keep the details a bit quiet for now.

Also, used the Beguiling Influence incantation just before I entered, because of a strange feeling that it was the right thing for a mechanic to do before they enter a lady's bedroom.

This guy was created to be a mechanic, you see...

[Meek]

"Oh, hello Emily! These are Richard, Bryant, some hippie, and Panitari, adventurers who have just decided to help me write my new book! If you want, you can join in too! You probably need more work now that my boiler is fixed!"

She turns back to the others. "As for me, I'll just refrain from using any magic. This wheel chair will keep me from hindering you too much, as it can float five feet off the ground when carrying only me. So bad terrain and stairs aren't a problem for me! I want to set out as soon as possible! Meaning, tomorrow!"

"That's a bit sudden," Argea says.

Karin gives her a childish look. "Why aren't you in Tiddleton answering my fan letters! All those poor people who look up to me demand their polite handwritten replies!"

Sighing, Argea nods. "Yes. Fine. See you later Karin," She turns to the party, and the warforged, "Please take good care of her."

She takes out a scroll, and vanishes.

Karin then turns to Fhil. "Sir, I have no clue what you are talking about whatsoever. Here, I'll help you make sense."

She casts a ray at Fhil, which you would all normally recognize as the extremely common Owl's Wisdom. But this ray stops halfway to him, jumbles in on itself, and becomes an ooze. This ooze roils around on the ground, sinks into itself, bubbles a bit.

"Oh my, a living spell!" Karin says.

The ooze leaps at Fhil, striking him in the gut. Rather than feel pain, he feels much more wise. The ooze, seemingly dissatisfied, continues slamming and striking at him but does absolutely nothing more.

"...Alright, starting now, I'll cast no more spells. I promise."

Fhil, +4 enhancement bonus to Wisdom for 15 minutes.

For those wondering, yes, I do plan for Karin to be a GMPC accompanying you. She has to write the book after all! But I know how to run these well, so don't worry about her upstaging you. In her condition this is basically impossible. She's only there for humor and interaction, and to give a reason for certain bits later (such as certain pieces of short fiction from her point of view that I'll be writing every so often). She's also there so I can maintain maximum DM Fiat power if anything goes way out of hand.

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil makes a sullen face in response before the slime. When he looks back at at Karin to see her reaction, he suddenly jumps and claps in his hands twice and then puts them up in the air. He's in felicity:

It's you! It's you! he points at Karin.

It's her! I found her! Everyone look at her! It's her in the magazine! Fhil says with expression.

...what happened to you? You're so ugly now with those bruises and plasters...

[MorkaisChosen]

If the Mechanicforged had eyebrows, he'd be raising one.

"Calling your employer ugly really isn't the best way to stay in employment, Fhil."

He (for, despite the name, the mechanic Karin addressed as Emily is a male) then turns to the others and adds, "I suppose I should introduce myself. I am MLE 13, Mechanicforged (although mechanically I work like a Warforged, it's just I wasn't actually made for a War, but I'm a bit off the point here) and Warlock. I gained my powers from an infernal pact, although I think I got the better of it a little-" (at this point a quiet, muffled voice from MLE's pack says, "I heard that!")- "and went freelance. So, enough about me, who are all of you?"

Somehow, a bright smile, all perfect white teeth, crosses MLE's face- despite it being a motionless slot.

[Meek]

"I like to think my face is my biggest physcal asset, and it is miraculously unbruised except for the bandages on my forehead." Karin says innocently to Fhil. "So, you were searching for me? That's very flattering!"

[Helepolis]

With Argea, her anchor of...something approaching a logical worldview...gone, Panitari stands off to the side. She has already given her name, and assured her assistance, to Karin, so she feels no great need to interact further, until they depart...but she does spend a good amount of time sizing up the others present, in the sense of self-preservation.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard crosses to MLE13 and extends his hand in greeting, Hullo, Emily. I'm, as I had been saying, Richard Linkely. The Greatest Poet of Our Age. Unfortunately, as I suspect that poetry won't be respected by the various monsters and ne'er-do-wells on our quest, it's only fair to inform you that I'm a fairly competent Sorcerer as well."

[Flame_Excess]

Ignoring Emily even though she called Fhil by his name, which highly caught his attention at first, Fhil answers to Karin:

I have a very important question for you. I read that you are a prodigious person and that your talents can help me. I was chosen to prevent a catastrophic event to hapen. Actually, that's what I keep saying to people, although it's not true. With 16 wisdom, I know that, now that I'm talking about it...

...O-kay...

I'm disapointed. I really thought I had a valuable goal in life. But-wait! I have another feeling-I, I was adopted!

Fhil stands frozen, incredulous, his mouth open.

[Meek]

"That is...sad to hear." Karin says. She floats on over to Fhil, and pats him in the back empathically. She then hovers toward the center of the lobby, where there are a number of long couches. "You guys can set up shop here for today, and tomorrow we'll head on out!"

She claps her hand against her plastered arm. "OW."

Summoned by her clapping, appear tables with lamps on them, sets of drawers and chests, chairs, and a salad and cappuccino bar.

"Beds aren't installed. Sorry. I'd help you get a bedroom, but my maze enchantment's going a little crazy lately. I'm thinking I might sell this place before anyone finds out."

The ooze bubbles harmlessly.

"If anyone wants that as a pet, they can have it."

[MorkaisChosen]

To Richard, MLE says, "I don't know- some of them will appreciate it. I just hope none of them decide to show of their poetry skills- I have heard stories of monsters who write the second-worst poetry in the world, and it can cause haemorrhage."

To KarinMLE shakes his head and replies, "I have plenty of semi-tame semi-intelligent semi- Deus Ex Machina things to deal with," he says, quickly putting his hands over his backpack, from which the same muffled voice emanates.

[Helepolis]

Panitari will quickly lay claim to one of the chairs, and toss her stuff next to it.

"Well, my friends, all these...interesting happenings have tired me out quite a bit...so, I think I'll just go to sleep. I will see you all in the morning..." She thinks to herself Whether I want to or not. Wackos.

She'll curl up her small frame in one of the chairs, and drift into her dreamless sleep, unless further harassed.

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE sems to be waiting for everyone else to fall asleep, although he doesn't say anything; he also glances occasionally at his backpack.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard glances around the room, sighs, and then makes himself a salad for dinner. With his new 'friend' Bryant gone, the young girl asleep, and MLE fidgeting in the corner with his pack it didn't look as if there was much conversation to be had other than with that odd woodsman. With that in mind, the poet finished his salad and walked over to their somewhat deranged hostess, "Thank you for letting us use your house, Ms. Karin. Please though, let us help you in the future rather than tossing about your somewhat dangerously mis-fired spells or smacking your broken arm. It wouldn't do for you to become more injured. Anyway, thanks again and good night."

Richard tips his hat to the lady, and then chooses a couch.

[Flame_Excess]

I'll be going then. I have to find myself another hobby.

Oh, if you have any idea in mind, feel free to share it with me.

[Meek]

"Well mister Fhil, if you don't want to help, I guess that's fine. Though adventuring is the most involving hobby around, I've heard say." Karin says. She lets out a yawn. "Anyway, I'll be retiring too."

She sets herself against the seat, her chair floating up enough to tilt comfortably aback, and closes her eyes.

Fhil, I'm gonna fast-forward, whether you are meditating or awake doesn't entirely matter, though I assume you would rest so as not to risk fatigue penalties.


* * *

Night settled in Yawnsburg, which had seen a slight increase in the influx of eccentricity for the day. The Gnomish gliders that had no caught fire tended to their friends, with everyone high-fiveing each other for reasons unknown. The tavern closed for the night, its half-giant barkeep throwing bodily the drunken goblins and bugbears languishing within. In the government office, Minerva played with her antennae one last time before closing her book, and leaving to the back office, where they kept a small room for her. The tollbooths were closed, the Sicily clone drank an oily potion to keep her awake (as Sicily Stores were open 24 hours a day).

Things were rather normal for a time. The skies were blue, grasshoppers chirped, and the stars were in place. All save a single of these shining beacons, which seemed to be moving relatively fast across the sky. It zipped overhead in a curve, dipped low, and grew larger. Its movement could be best described as "careening." The star was careening towards Paradiso, specifically to the fourth peak of Yawnsburg.

"Oh my!" said an onlooking girl, watching the star. She passed her goggles of sightseeing to her dwarf companion.

"By my beard, that star be headed right for the mount!"

It was these two, Romilda Sparkling the 21st level Commoner and her companion Bob D. Plainfolk, 21st level Expert, famous daredevils and generally off-their-rocker sort of folk, who saw the event unfold. The star was in their plain view for just a simple moment – and it was rotund, and metal, and boasted a strange insignia. Then it flew overhead leaving a trail of smoke and fire in the ruptured clouds, and smote the mountaintop with a potent explosion.

Romilda blinked, and her mouth hung.

"Looks t'me like we should find 'nother mountain to climb." Bob said.


* * *

Chapter 2: Mount Unstable and the Dromeda Legion

Next morning, everyone awakens distinctly remembering having heard some kind of booming noise in their dreams, or meditation-induced visions, or whatever sorry excuse for resting their strange race possesses for no particular reason. Karin herself looks rather bedraggled. "That was an awful dream, I finally uncovered the Pseudomonarchia Daemonum in an archeological dig, and when I read it, it's full of explosive runes. The booming noise was so real too..."

On one table is a note from Bryant Duorn, which reads:

"Fellow comrades, it is with much regret that I take my leave of you. As you saw, our employer, dignified as she is, released a number of creatures into the world that as a good natured person I cannot allow to wreak whatever havoc they please. Hopefully I will find my inner adventurer as I did in the second age."

Hope that was good!

Edit: There was some slight confusion presented to me on the subject of the whole chaptering thing. This game is separated into chapters, which might a day or a series of days. They're all done in the same topic. When we have a new topic, I will make it explicit and obvious, otherwise, use this one.

[Helepolis]

Panitari wakes up, and stretches...looking remarkably like a child as she does so. "That was strange...I don't dream, but I somehow remember a loud noise last night. I must have woken, briefly. Did anyone else hear anything?"

She reclines across the chair arms, lazily, and a small crystalline object, looking like a piece of faintly pink quartz, falls out of her pocket...it then grows several small translucent legs, and, moving a bit like a spider, crawls up over the chair, and along her body, till it sits on her chest.

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil had shown his disinterest in resting at Karin's cottage but he was rather tempted with the idea of adventure since he didn't leave.

Fhil meditated a couple of hours, only his backpack taken off, but still bearing his armor, after which he was gone.

That warning you gave me at the beginning troubles me. I would have said that Fhil left before Bryant and so I wouldn't have seen the letter. Does it really matter? In any case, I was told not to do anything as little as you may think it is. :smallannoyed:

He finished his tour around the city at night to end up at the sicily store. He layed his eyes on the Sicily seller and approached irresolute. Nonetheless, his curiosity was piqued.

This is...? he asked, after closing with the woman, 2 squares away.

[Meek]

Unfortunately, the cottage door slams in Fhil's face as he tries to leave, knocking him out for the night, into the safety of the indoor welcome mat. No saving throw; this door is quite a pro at what it does.

"Sorry, I already let one escape, and I don't think miss Karin will be happy if more of her friends leave!"

Flame, I really don't want to mess around in backwards-time, and your character has been inordinately difficult to motivate, handle and wrangle thus far, so let's move on, I think the first day has lasted enough for an intro.

[MorkaisChosen]

The Mechanicforged looks quite surprised.

"I think I actually slept last night. That's a bit... weird, I suppose you would say, since I was designed to work twenty-five hours a day. But whateveer happened, I dreamt that I was giving an employer a bill, but they weren't happy and pulled out a wand of Fireball...

Bizarre, eh?"

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard walks towards MLE13 and Panitari, "You two as well? I dreamt I was being yelled at by a great fire-breathing Drake--or possibly my mother. Could the house be cursed? Or, more likely, blessed by a currently misfiring spell designed to give us pleasant dreams?"

The poet jumps a bit when he finally realizes that a crystal spider is sitting on Panitari. Lowering his voice to the appropriate don't-startle-the-monster voice, Richard whispers to the 'girl', "Panitari, careful now. One of Karin's creatures appears to be perching on you. I'll get it off--just stay very, very still." Linkely then pulls out one of his pencils and slowly inches towards the creature, preparing to dislodge it with a carefully placed poke.

[MorkaisChosen]

Incredulous, MLE watches the "greatest poet" inch towards the crystal spider.

Better not tell him about my toaster... he thinks...

[Meek]

"That's not mine. Eep!" Karin says, shrinking away from the spider.

[Helepolis]

Panitari raises one eye brow, and then shakes her head, as the rock with legs crawls farther up her chest, over her shoulder, and into her pack. "I don't think I'm in much danger from a crystal possessing a shard of my personality, guys. It's just more or less a familiar...but less natural looking. He doesn't bite, or anything"

[Meek]

"That's good!" Karin says. "For a moment I thought I might have cast something at night. It hasn't happened yet, but I worry sometimes."

She looks around. "Ah yes, breakfast, I should do something...nothing about that. I should do nothing about that." She looks like she remembers what her magic does. "I would try to find the kitchen, but I'm afraid I can't until my maze enchantment is gone. I know, we can walk down to the Sicily Wagon, and see if she's filled out her franchise application for a Sicily Restaurant yet. I hear the food is good and the music is better! I wanted to go to the one in the Nine Hells...but then this happened."

After all the babbling, she notes Fhil on the floor. "Oh my. Maybe somebody should help. Poor confused man. Or perhaps we might leave him there and go get breakfast. I think he's a Druid, so maybe he can talk to squirrels and get some nuts to eat. If there are any squirrels around here."

Go along with it Flame, you can wake up now, or hell, stay asleep or whatever, just try to be sequential about things from now on, or if you're going to do something weird, state it in advance so I can prepare for it.

Also, yes, this is a democratic thing. If the party wants to go out for breakfast and leave Fhil unconscious at the door because he didn't wake up soon enough, or because he didn't want to wake up, or even if he does wake up, you can, and so on. I will take responsibility for carrying out whatever choice is in-character for you, especially given you don't really know anything about Fhil except he's nuts.

[Helepolis]

Panitari shrugs. "Sounds like a plan to me..."

[Lepre_Khan]

"Well, I'm all in favor of leaving him to fend for himself, but I think it might be a bit dangerous to leave him unattended in your house, Ms. Karin. Not so much for you or yours, but rather for him." Richard squints a little and flicks his forefinger off his thumb, as if at the ear of an annoying sibling.

"He should come around, now. Worst comes to worst, we can always knock him out again, right? Now, about this restaurant, it sounds grand! "

I just used Mage Hand from my 'Spell Hand' feat to flick your ear Flame, I assume that wakes you.

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil wakes in surprise.

HA, ah, ah! he laughs.

His laugher gets horrible as he laughs more and more. After a few seconds, he takes a deep breath and say:

You won't believe me. I had the funniest dream I have ever had. There was a fluorescent cabbage running in the woods with a fork +2, +7 against elves and he caught me up when I was running in the sky like a windwalker. At one point, it jumps and suddenly, about when it was to hit me, the Galbion draws out of nowhere and hit the cabbage to bring it with him to another continent. At that moment, I look beneath me before to free fall from the clouds at full speed to finally crash on the surface making an incredible hole and a terrible explosion! Ha!

After his speech, Fhil stands up as if he had never been hit by that door, forgetful.

What an adventure! It sounds fun, actually. Is it anything close to what you live everyday?

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard shrugs towards his companions and starts to really wish he knew how to cast Sleep. "Sorry. It just seemed like the right thing to do, at the time." Turning back to the confused woodsman, Linkely speaks firmly and slowly as Mother used to speak to the servants who made some sort of foolish error. "He-llloooo. I. Am. Richard." The poet points to himself and continues, "Who. Are. You?" Linkely then points at Mr. Fhil.

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil shows confusion and says to Linkely:

Are you okay? It seems like your only friends are hungry mindflayers.

Fhil quickly moves on, deftly grabing Linkely's finger with his hand. He firmly shakes it like for a handshake. You can feel the strenght of his grip.

I am Leenlhyaen Amduulthi but they call me Fhil. And by they, it's the people with who I grew. Fhil means elf friend in derived elven.

He releases the finger, that would inevitably be in pain for a delicate man.

I live in the woods. I like it there better than here. In fact, I can't wait to return there. I feel traped when I'm in a place like here.

[Helepolis]

Panitari shakes her head, and sighs. Then she sort of sits there, staring off in no particular direction...to an observer, she looks dazed. She's really just ranting telepathically to her crystal about how little she thinks of this group so far....

[Meek]

Karin watches with curiosity, and reaches slowly into her pocket, taking out a pen and a flip-up notebook, and starting to write...all the while keeping her eyes on Fhil and Richard. She never once looks down at what she's writing.

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE-13

MLE shakes his head, then suddenly looks up and says, "Oh, there's something I ought to tell you. If I get injured, or fall through an interdimensional rift, or eaten by a Grue, or whatever- you'll find a toaster in my pack."

"Don't touch it, OK?"

That mystifying comment seems very important, for some reason...

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard reclaims his finger from the over-zealous shake of the woodsman, "Uhh...alright then, Fhil. Why are you here then instead of back in your forest?" Before Fhil can answer, Linkely rushes on, "Wait! Don't answer now, you can tell us over breakfast. You as well M, you explain all about your toaster over breakfast."

[MorkaisChosen]

"Over breakfast would be perfect," MLE replies. "I can certainly wait until breakfast."

[Meek]

"Breakfast it is then!" Karin says. "Majority wins."

She floats in her chair towards the door, and it swings open for her. "Alright, follow me!"

If you want to interact a bit more, you can now. If the majority doesn't feel like saying anything more right now, we can fast forward. Just tell me in a spoiler alongside your next posts what you want to do.

[Helepolis]

Panitari follows, her crystal now riding on her shoulder. She walks next to Karin, not having much to say to the others.
We can just skip ahead to eating, or what have you, unless anyone else wants to talk

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE also follows Karin, not speaking unless spoken to.

Yep, happy to fast-forward.

[Flame_Excess]

Where are we going? I want to know.

>>Foward.

Suggestion: I'd enjoy it if you would use Karin to describe the place along our walk to the restaurant and of the restaurant itself.

[Meek]

Karin wouldn't make sense, she's not the Narrator, though she will narrate in certain parts, but only because it is planned to be illogical there. It is not planned to be illogical here though. Imagine the narrator as a smarmy British git with a goatee and a Macbook Air who thinks he's better than you, and it'll be far more fun anyway.

You climb down Karin's cottage steps and see a Gnome burst into flames, and this tells you that morning is in full swing in Yawnsburg, which is not saying much. People seem to be out and about today, as opposed to yesterday, where they seemed to be in, along some antonym for about not yet crafted by the linguists in the Algebrica Academy.

Excited murmurs occur just outside your ears, but you catch snippets, such as "fire in the sky", "flying objects", "aberrations" and one person talking about non-euclidean geometry. Like geometry is anything to be afraid of.

"Oh my, a lot of excitement today." Karin says, but she does not stop to ask anybody, speeding you along to breakfast. "They probably wouldn't want to tell me anyway, they likely suspect I had something to do with it."

You take a dirt patch between small hills and green patches of grass and trees, winding your way around town to the appropriately themed Sicily Store, where the clone seems to be back to her gloomy self after her small moment of happiness the day before. She turns around, and props up a little scroll on the side of her stand, in view of the customers.

"I know what you're here for," The clone gloomily says, "We'll get the full Restaurant some time within the next few months, but in the meantime, since Crafting magic items takes so damned long–"

"Oh my, what's the base price of a Sicily Restaurant addition?"

"A lot. I can conjure up a table for you somewhere around here, in the meantime."

"That'd be splendid."

"5 gold from everyone." Sicily says, stretching out her hand. She balks at Karin's incredulous expression. "This isn't an inn, we don't serve copper piece food here." The clone retorts.

[Flame_Excess]

If you don't have enough gold, it's not my problem. I don't lend money.

Fhil foolishly grabs his purse and takes the five pieces out of it with contentment and hands it about shoulder height toward the Sicily woman, waiting for her to come closer to him and to pick up the gold in his hand.

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE smiles.

"Technically I don't need to eat. Very good economically, that. Enjoy your meal..."

Interesting how the Americans imagine a British narrator, while us Brits tend to think of the ridiculous over-the-top American narrators from movie trailers...

[Helepolis]

Panitari simply digs a ration out of her pack, and starts munching on that. "I don't even have 5 gold to my name...'

[Meek]

Sicily stares at Fhil. Wordlessly and without movement, she appears to cast a spell, because a glowing white hand the size of her head suddenly takes the money from Fhil's hands.

"Oh, don't worry you two, I can pay for you if you can't."

Karin takes out fifteen gold, and asks Richard whether or not he can pay.

The reason I imagine a brit is due to this being a written narrative sparsely inspired by Douglas Adams. Though I suppose you could also imagine narration by Kurt Vonnegut if you wanted an american counterpart.

[MorkaisChosen]

Douglas Adams? Well, that's different.

Enter Stephen Fry!

Actually, thanks very much. Stephen Fry is perfect for that narration, it really gets the idea across...

[Lepre_Khan]

Actually, I'd been imagining Stephen Fry. Good call, Master Chosen!

"Don't worry, I can pay." Richard digs out five gold from his pack and walks over to the Sicily Clone. Remembering what he'd learned from Bryant Duorn, the poet hands over the money with a smile, "Good morning to you, miss. That necklace looks marvelous on you."

[Helepolis]

Panitari makes a small bow "Thank you very much, Miss Karin"

[Meek]

Sicily ***** a small grin at Richard.

"Alright, that's a table for five."

She claps her hands, and a darkwood table appears two squares away from the group with enough room and chairs for everyone. "Just think hard on what food you want, sit down, and enjoy." Sicily says. She then ducks into the stand, tinkering with something or other perhaps. Karin floats over to where her chair is, pushes it out of the way, and a big plate of scrambled dire duck eggs (rather brown and toasted-looking), dire sausage (rather brown, spiky and toasted-looking), feral salad (hopping around angrily on the plate) and superior orange juice (gimmick name, absolutely no difference) appears in front of her.

"Nifty!" She says.

[Helepolis]

Panitari sits down, and fried eggs, toast, and hash browns appear. "So much better then rations. So much."

She goes to it with a will.

[Meek]

"So, I thought we could use this time for you guys to get to know each other, and for me to get to know you. You probably already know me." Karin says, giggling lightly. She uses her fork to cut a dire sausage, which wriggles even as she chews.

Free talking time!

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil stands in amazement for a moment, looking at Bryant's present to the Sicily clone. He looks to be daydreaming, although he is clearly equally attentive to everything going around him. As a matter of fact, he comes sitting last in a perfect and exact timing after the previous one who sits at the table.
Without any further interaction, he enters in the matter he and Richard talked earlier:
The door. It's because of the door that I couldn't leave and go back in the woods.

Fhil moves to another subject, with another person.
Karin, I might know you, it doesn't tell me what has put you in such a miserable condition. I want to know. I would also like to know why you paid for people you have just met...they're pityful, that must be the answer.

Fhil vaguely looks concentrated and suddenly drifts back to the same subject:
...but first, I would like to know why I am here...surrounded by a bunch of sissies.

He stands up moving his chair with strenght and then he freezes.

...actually why leave when I can benefit of...
A bowl of soup appears in front of Fhil.
...this? I will do that only afterwards.
He sits back down on his chair.

[Helepolis]

Panitari just shakes her head at Fhils outburst. 'Well, I know you of you quite well, Miss Karin. I have no idea who the rest of you guys are, but apparently Fhil is a complete moron...and it seems Rich is some kind of poet, or something. My name is Panitari, a psion...kalashtar, if any of you have ever heard of that race before. I do mercenary sort of work, mostly. The general stuff...low level monster infestations and escort missions, as a rule."

She continues eating

I wanted to call Richard by the pet form of that name, but apparently it's censored. So Rich it is

[Flame_Excess]

Indifferent, he lets Panitari's insult slip without reacting.
It is not Fhil, it is Fhil. You did not pronounce my name properly. You obviously don't speak elven commonly.
Fhil grabs his bowl with two hands and hides his face behind it, swallowing its content.


Without knowing you were a psion, I was doing my post exclusively writing my actions, and not my thoughts. Now knowing that, it would add some interest to write about it since you can read minds. Would you like it if I did so?

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE

MLE lets a glob of eldritch fire play around his fingers before allowing it to dissipate. "As Ms Karin already knws, I am a freelance mechanic and Warlock. I don't have all that much experience with adventuring, although I have put down the occasional Dire DIY Mistake. I would like to get a little more experience, though- as a mechanic, I really don't get very much chance to throw blasts of eldritch energy at people."

"I've heard it's good fun."

[Helepolis]

Panitari shrugs at Fhil "I couldn't care less."

I can't just like, read minds at will, Flame, any more then a wizard can. I don't in fact have any such powers. So, don't worry about it

She turns to MLE "Well, I can't speak for Eldritch Energy, but it does get quite amusing when you start blasting away..."

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard is quite content to let the others talk. He's busy chowing down on a thin, watery gruel. Just like mothers. Still, he figures he should add something to the conversation and, frankly, MLE's last comment was slightly disturbing, "At people? Sure, blasting monsters can be a hoot--I'm a sorceror, Ms. Panitari, as well as a poet--but blasting people? That seems a little, you know, evil. Aren't we supposed to protect people from monsters? Slay dragons, rescue maidens, whoop liches--that sort of thing seems far more appropriate for an adventuring party. In Tennant's Idle Whim's of the Emperor he describes the purpose of adventurer's through the words of Emperor Andrew the Bear. One of the key points is that adventurers do good in thought as well as deed, if we start to think less of NPC's we're just as bad as villains--simply smarter since we can steal from them as well as earn their good will."

Heleio--If you want to use it, spell it 'Dic' or 'Dik' if you want. Even 'Dich' may work.

[MorkaisChosen]

When I say people, I tend to mean it slightly more generally. You know, an evil insane necromancer-lord of Death still thinks- as far as I know- so "people" probably applies. I'd only do so when it's appropriate- I'm not a villain..."

[Lepre_Khan]

"I suppose that's one way of looking at things, but it seems rather limited to me. Someone is person merely because they're sentient? Look at orc's, they're sentient. Not especially bright, perhaps, but sentient. However, they are--on average--undeniably monsters and not people. So I'd say that personhood is granted more for morality than intelligence."

Getting into the debate, Richard forgets about the gruel and carries on. His voice raises slightly as he gestures furiously with a pencil he drew from his pocket. "Now, I really don't mean to be implying that you're a villain--though the deal with a devil would seem a little questionable if I were less enlightened--I was just remarking that it's precisely this line of thinking that leads to villainous behavior. In Tennant, Ser Gwylanith falls from his knighthood precisely because he begins to look down on NPC's and slay them for not treating him properly. He thinks that he deserves bigger rewards and that sort of thing, he makes the mistake that the only people that matter are powerful people. Might makes right, that sort of thing. Obviously you weren't there yet, but it's a small step from 'intelligence makes one a person' to 'if they aren't a PC, they exist purely for my pleasure and I can treat all others as utterly insignificant.' Fascinating, isn't it?"

[Meek]

"My, my, you're all so very interesting." Karin says. She's either thoroughly stupefied by your debate or not even listening. She answers Fhil's question, "My injuries are due to a fall from my cottage and down the mountain side. My floor was being eaten by chimera woodchipper ants. It's been since fixed. The reason I hired you is because the usual group of adventurers I hired went off on their own and tried to kill a Tarrasque, but died in an...unpleasant way. But do not worry! Our expedition will have nothing to do with Tarrasques! I already wrote a book on it. I died five times! It might have set me back 50,000 gold on Resurrections, but it was worth it. The people deserve to know! Plus the royalties and sales recouped my investment almost ten times."

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil lowers his bowl, now half full.

If you have to write a book, what did you write so far? I've noticed you took some notes earlier.

[Meek]

"Well, every book needs a prologue! So I'm taking notes about you for the prologue of our story." Karin says.

[Helepolis]

Panitari laughs "I can only imagine what it must say..." She then pushes her plate away, and pushes her chair back, putting her feet on the table. "Well, that was good...what now?"

[Flame_Excess]

Our story...what do you mean by our story? I am not staying, I told you.
He gulps down the rest of his soup.
...what would be the purpose of staying with a group of clumsy adventurers, really?
To these words, Fhil stands up, serene.
Farewell.


Don't worry OoC. There is something that will catch Fhil's interest. Trust me.

[Helepolis]

Panitari shrugs "Good bye, then...don't let the door hit you on the way out"

[Meek]

"Hmm...well, bye Fhil." Karin says. She turns to Panitari quite suddenly after. "So, why are you so small and adorable?" She takes out her pen and notebook again, and has her eyes on Panitari like a hawk.

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE sits back, trying not to draw too much attention from the poet- and secretly quite glad of Karin's interruption...

That's an IC thing- OOC, I love what you're doing. Just wanted to make sure you realise I'm not annoyed with you the player, Lepre_Khan. :smallbiggrin:

[Helepolis]

Panitari is startled by the sudden attention "Uhhh...I'm not sure. I've been this way for years...I just never got really big."

[Lepre_Khan]

"If only more women were blessed with such fortune, the world would be a far fairer--and thus better--place. If you don't mind me asking, could it be some side effect of psionics? I've always felt that muscles seem to squeeze out brains. So, we can have men built like statues--with all the conversational capability's of a statue. See, there's only so much space in the human body and when too much of it is taken up by muscle, there isn't much room for brains and intelligence. As a psion, I assume you need a fairly advanced and large brain, so this could lead to your smaller size."

[Helepolis]

Panitari raises her eyebrow "Uhh....that's some questionable biology you have there. I can't say for certain either way, but I wouldn't bet on that"

[Meek]

"Hmm." Karin jots all of that down. "Well, I'm done eating. Let's rest for a while, before setting off."

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil is standing like a marble statue and has been like this for a while now. He blinks from time to time and seem to be fixing the void. His blue eyes are glowing, empty, contemplative.

[Lepre_Khan]

"Rest? Why rest? My spells are ready, let us head off and brave the world!" As he says this, Richard stands swiftly up with his arm outstretched--his pencil held proudly towards the heavens.

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE grins. "Spells prepared? That's good. Of course, I don't need to bother, but still..."

He glances round and adds, "I suppose when we get to the adventuring I'll need to take guard duty, seeing as I don't need to sleep and all..."

[Meek]

"Well, I just wanted to digest." Karin says. "But if everyone's eager, we can start on the road of adventure right now!"

She stands up, and almost immediately falls down. The grounds begins shaking violently, the table rocking on its legs, houses tilting. The world becomes a blur around you all from the shaking and you fall helplessly prone. A nearby cottage collapses in on itself, and suddenly a thin, splintered crack begins to form across the village.

Just as suddenly, it all stops.

[Helepolis]

Panitari stands up, slowly, and dusts herself off. "So...what in the nine hells WAS that?"

[Flame_Excess]

Mocking, Fhil answers to Panitari while he skillfully stands up:

We call it an earthquake where I live. Are kalashtars coming from so far that they don't even know that or is it you?

[Lepre_Khan]

Somewhat frightened by the shake and more than a little irritated with Fhil's insult to a party member--the poets all agree that loyalty to your party is essential--Richard snaps at the woodsman with uncharacteristic heat in his voice, "If you're so used to it, elf, why come back to us? Too scared to be on your own? Or were you simply concerned for our well-being while dining with an epic level hero? I'm not even sure that it was an earthquake. At least, I don't think it's a natural one. Don't they last longer and have secondary tremors? Karin, you didn't try to cast any spells--did you?"

[Helepolis]

Panitari sighs, and resists the urge to shoot him in the face with a mind laser. "I am well aware of what earthquakes are. I just didn't think this area was prone to their occurence. Nor are they generally that abrupt'

[Meek]

"That was not me." Karin says, "If I tried to cast Earthquake I'd probably summon Earth Elementals or something." She looks around. "Whatever it was, I agree it wasn't natural. I'm not very familiar with this area beyond its Gnomish paragliders though..."

[Flame_Excess]

Oh, I see. I realize that behind your looks, you have some nerve. I didn't expect that... I would be most pleased to venture and to follow you, then. I am remarkably talented and I'm sure I'll be a great add to the party. That is, if you did not already include me in it. Or if I was considered out after second thought. I'm sure the god master would agree on that one.
Fhil takes a breathe.
My friends, we have a lot to do. This earthquake is incredibly dangerous for us to stay here and if there is anything to do to stop it, we should work together and investigate to understand that problem in order to solve it. I'm sure the quest will be worth a lot of gold, too, once an end is put to it.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard looks flabbergasted at Fhil, "Riiiight." Turning pointedly back towards Karin he explains himself, a little sheepishly, "Actually, truth be told dear, I was concerned that you had tried to summon Earth Elementals or something else that resulted in the Earthquake. Still, if it wasn't you do you have the foggiest clue as to what it could have been?"

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE replies, "Well, there's one obvious possibility. A wizard did it."

[Helepolis]

Panitari shrugs "As a rule, don't wizards do things for reasons? This doesn't seem to have changed anything, or not drastically anyway"

[MorkaisChosen]

"Depends on the wizard, to be quite honest. The most powerful ones... well, "Because I felt like it" is a reason sometimes."

[Lepre_Khan]

"MLE is right you know. Do you remember Sirthanio from Ellen's Five Quintets? He was very powerful, but very whimsical. The debate in the piece is whether or not his absent minded death dealing was evil or simply chaotic. That said, another problem with the anti-wizard theory is that we don't actually know that it didn't change anything. Let's go have a look, shall we?"

Richard then leaves the restaurant and enters the wide world, looking around to see what damage had been caused by the earthquake.

[Meek]

"Good idea!" Karin says. She follows behind Richard.

Thanks Lepre. I was just coming to have Karin sugest you check around, but I'm glad you did it. I don't like having the GMPC point out a course of action all the time, especially since so far it's felt like I'm railroading everyone really hard. I apologize if anyone else felt this way. Anyway, I like people who take a nice active stance on cues of this nature, so thanks. :smallbiggrin:

Richard and those that follow through the village note the 1/5th of a square wide crack running through the center of the town and across its length. It seems to lead up the mountain side, running ride along Karin's cottage, up the trail, and disappearing into the adjacent mountain's side. Some houses have collapsed – other villagers are helping with repairs, and Fhil (if he follows) recognizes Minerva from the government office conjuring some huts for people to reside in, and helping clear debris with Telekinesis. In total, some nine homes seem to have been ruined by the quake. Across from them are gatherings of people. Should you approach, you hear a number of explanations from the villagers, which they discuss amongst themselves. Perhaps, some think, there's a guy up there who rolled a really catastrophic natural 1. Maybe there is a Great Wyrm Red Dragon in the volcano and some psycho is trying to get it to destroy an artifact. Or it could be the goblin miners are using some unorthodox new techniques for harvesting minerals.

But they all seem rather solid on the idea that this earthquake had something to do with the mountain.

I covered a lot in that post, but feel free to talk to people or stop in places. It won't change what you see later on, after all, since the sequence isn't truly very linear.

[Helepolis]

Panitari's eyes narrow..."That's strange. I'm no expert, but naturally occuring earthquakes and tremors don't GENERALLY cause cracks which run in straight lines for long distances, with nigh-uniform width..."

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil follows the party and stares at the atrocity before him.

That is impressive.
He does nothing more but to look around him.

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE looks at it and says, "Impressive..."

Whistling softly (if you look closely, there is an actual whistle within his mouth- probably designed so he can say some of the ancient mechanics' ritual phrases), he adds, "A plumber who could do that would be able to lay pipes without having to dig up the ground!"

[Lepre_Khan]

"I'm not sure that really counts as not digging the ground up, Master Mechanicforged. I think this is another point in our 'Wizards did it' theory. I wonder...

Trailing off Richard mutters something under his breath. A small pop can be heard and then, remarkably--magically one might say--his eyes begin to glow.

Detect Magic

[Meek]

Richard, there are no lingering auras save for those around Minerva's huts, and Minerva herself. The crack itself shows no magic, nor really anything around. So whatever it was that caused the earthquake, it's magic, if any, does not extend this far. Perhaps the crack was a side effect.

[Flame_Excess]

Gnomes are so brilliant with their paragliders and gigantic explosions! Yay-hoo!
Fhil does a few dancing steps and reenters the restaurant in a hurry and comes out of it very shortly after with a few radishes.

Note: I understood that the restaurant never disappeared.
Fhil makes the vegetables appear with his thought thanks to the magical table.

If you have some time later, MLE, remember to talk to us about that toaster you have in your backpack since we didn't talk about it over breakfast.
Hustling, Fhil jumps over the debris like a child would do and heads to the fey-like creature, Minerva.
Minervaaaaaaa! Hey-ho-Minervaaaa!

[Helepolis]

Panitari sighs, and shakes her head again. "Richard, do you happen to have like, Detect Crazy on your spell list? I want to see if targeting him would knock you out"

[MorkaisChosen]

"That's an interesting idea, actually..."

MLE adds to Richard, "If you want, I can take over magic-detecting- you could save your power for, I don't know, making gruel palatable or something."

[Lepre_Khan]

"Thank you M, that would be wonderful. Though I don't see how you think Gruel is unpalatable. Even the name--gruel--pure melody. Magical, mystical even. Panitari, as much as I'd love to be able to try out that little experiment, I'm a sorceror. Our spell lists aren't all that hot, I couldn't waste a slot on a spell like that."

Richard lets Detect Magic go and thoughtfully chews on his lip for a second before continuing, "So, do you guys have any ideas? If not, I'm all for just heading towards the Mountain and seeing what's going on."

[Meek]

Karin cheerfully declares. "No ideas! Mountain climbing it is! Oh I haven't climbed a good mountain in a long time. Not since I wrote that book about the consequences of rolling a Natural 1 on given activities. I died a couple times."

Meanwhile, Minerva sighs quite loudly and exasperatedly at the appearance of Fhil with radishes. She puts down a rock with Telekinesis. Antennae drooping considerably she turns to meet him. "Yes, what do you want?"

[Helepolis]

Panitari nods "That seems like a good course of action to me...these people don't seem to have 2 clues about what went on"

[Flame_Excess]

You are doing a good job for your citizens. Here, take this as a reward.
Fhil hands the radishes to Minerva and smiles.
I am sure you will like that, he adds. ...as the book coming from the martial justice #5 mentioned. Oh, if that does not please you, I will have to talk with Karin! I want to hear you: are you glad to receive these?

[Lepre_Khan]

Looking at the wheelchair bound authoress, Richard hesitatingly voices a concern, "Don't take this the wrong way Miss Karin, but are you able to climb in your present condition?"

[MorkaisChosen]

"That thing flies, doesn't it?" MLE asks, pointing at the wheelchair. "I might learn to do that eventually..." He grins at the thought of flying round delivering hot and cold running water- and hot and cold running Eldritch Blasts- to monsters and villains.

[Meek]

"Don't worry about me Richard. This wheelchair is very flexible."

Karin slides her hand across the left armrest, and a number of compartments open up, and rod-like arms ending in a number of tools stretch out. Most seem to be household tools like brooms and can-openers, but there's a sword or two, some wands, and a voicebox.

"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you..." Plays the voicebox.

Karin reaches up and turns it off. "I've heard that song enough."

The wheelchair rises off the ground five feet, does a spin, and settles back down. Everything goes back into its compartment.

"I'll be fine dear. I designed this wheelchair exclusively for my medical needs. Now we just have to hope the artificer I hired didn't screw with the design..."

Meanwhile, Minerva takes the radishes, and gives them a long, hard look.

"...Thanks." She says, trying to crack a smile. Something close to it comes out. "I... appreciate your generosity."

She takes a bite out of a radish.

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil expresses satisfaction.
What are you? Are you some sort of half-butterfly with sorceror abilities? he says, still smiling at Minerva. ...and what are those antennaes good for?
Fhil gently approaches his hand to pat the antennaes.

[MorkaisChosen]

"Do you have any other music, or is it stuck on that one?" MLE asks, interested to see what the wheelchair can do.

[Meek]

"It has every station in the Empire of Kriek. But the music stations seem to like Rick Astley a little too much. One does wonder why..." Karin says.

Minerva blushes fiercely the moment your fingers even get close to her antennae, and jumps back a square. "Don't touch those! They're sensitive!" She shivers in place for a moment, and regains her composure. "I'm a Half-Fey Sorceress, yes. My antennae...are special, don't touch them!"

[Lepre_Khan]

"Why don't you give us a little music as we walk? Since we're without a bard, we need something to keep our spirits up, eh? Though I could read some poems, I suppose." Richard begins to casually stroll towards the mountain, assuming the others will follow along. Looking at Fhil he whistles, "Hey! Woodself, we're going up to the mountain. You coming, or has love for the Lady overcome your desire for adventure?"

[Helepolis]

Panitari sings quietly under her breath "Never going to make you cry, never going to say goodbye, never going to tell a lie, and hurt you...er, sorry, what?"

Seeing Fhils latest escapade, she shakes her head. "If someone doesn't keep an eye on him, sexual assault charges could easily overcome his desire for adventure"

She follows after Richard.

[Meek]

Karin slides her hand on her armrest, and the voicebox appears again. She turns the dial a bit, and some inspiring adventuring music comes on. "Ready then." She says, and follows Richard. She is taking some notes, and the chair seems to follow of its own accord.

[Flame_Excess]

Look at her, Richard, the lady is very special, Fhil replies.She is a half-fey with antennaes which are very sensitive and she will not let me touch them. I wonder if doing a woola-woola dance will convince her to let me touch them because woola dancing is very special too.
Fhil glances back at Minerva, judging her, then retorts back at Richard:
I am coming! says Fhil without giving another look to Minerva, rejoining the party.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard leans down and whispers to Panitar, "Well Pan--can I call you Pan?--I think that someone is us. The gods are cruel, but we can't just let him wander around." Straightening, Richard motions Fhil forward, "Look Fhil, I don't mean to be rude--I'm sure your actions are very normal in your tribe--but you can't just go around touching people like that. She could call the Marshals on you. As far as we know, touching her antennae could be considered rape. I understand that she's very pretty, but there are better ways to woo her over than randomly touching her. Recite a poem or buy her a trinket. Or, if you prefer slightly grander gestures, act like Rageth when he was wooing the Lady Lynette. Champion her in tournies and serve her at home, become a complete and abject worshipper and slave to her person. It's from an older poem though, so a more modern woman may not appreciate it. Maybe you could request to wear her colors--a scarf or some such--on this quest. You would be winning honor for her, not for yourself."

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE

Humming along to the music, MLE watches Fhil's antics with bemusement.

Amazing what these fleshy people get up to in the name of procreation...

[Flame_Excess]

Looking at and walking by Linkely with disinterest during his speech, Fhil then goes ahead of the group, improvising his way.
We are heading toward the mountain, he guesses. Are we going out of town?

I'm voting for a >> Foward. My character leads the group (as soon as he is told the exact direction to take) until anything particular happens

[Helepolis]

Panitari sighs "Well then, I suppose we can look out for him for now....and no, you may NOT call me Pan"

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard bows to Panitari, "Apologies, lady. I meant no offense. Yes Fhil, we're heading to the mountain. Following the crack in the ground here. Anyway, lead on Macduff!" Whispering to Panitari and MLE he adds, "Damned be him who follows the elf. I figure a slight paraphrase is alright given the situation, yes? The bard would understand, I'm sure."

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE chuckles and replies, "'Ware Macduff- and if we're doing that, you should probably 'ware me, too, if a unch of crones told you no man born of woman can harm you..."

[Helepolis]

Pantari shrugs 'Well, we've yet to be attacked by trees, so we're still ahead of the game"

[MorkaisChosen]

"That bit with the treants always did strike me as a bit... well, random," MLE replies. "Ah, good times..."

[Lepre_Khan]

"Random? Hardly, it was masterful. Still, I suppose you're a mechanic and so untrained in the literary arts. I can't hold this against you. Besides, they weren't really treants. It was just massed Polymorph Other cast on the heroes to help disguise the attack." Looking pensive, Richard lowers his voice, "That said, we might not want to speak off this too loudly. The way our employers magic seems to work, we may well find ourselves attacked by treants and I don't trust our ranger to charm them."

[MorkaisChosen]

"If you say so, Richard... I have to admit I enjoyed the scene, even if I didn't completely understand the symbolism."

[Meek]

With Fhil at the head, seemingly much to everyone's concern, you travel up the stairs to Karin's cottage. However, rather than staying there, you continue up the steps, leading out of the crater-like peak of the mountain containing Yawnsburg, and up a steep cliffside path to the next peak. The ground beneath your feet is rather narrow, forcing you into a line. The cliffside at your left flank is tall, rocky and rough, and extends above you so that if you look, you see a brown and white rock ceiling. If you were to look down, you would see unfathomable heights. In fact, it seems the buzzards are flying below you, unable to be bothered to go up high enough to be effective harbingers of your perhaps impending doom.

Karin apparently isn't unsettled by the whole thing, humming along.

Eventually, the path curves, and you carefully navigate this area, knowing that any shenanigans could easily lead to your deaths. You then come upon a natural ramp leading up to a smoother, climbable part of the mountain. There is shrubbery and trees growing here, and flat outgrowths where you may stand and take a breather. Far above this steep but navigable surface, is the entrance to a mine of sorts.

"Funny, I thought there would be more goblins around. They mine stuff, you know, in these mountains." Karin says.

[Flame_Excess]

If those goblins are gone, maybe that there is a bigger treat around here. says Fhil with suspicion.
He stops, does a few steps here and there, inspecting the surroundings with a lot of attention.

OMG LoTR. Wasn't my intention at first :smallamused:
Searching for clues: scuffs, trails, junk. (Traps included.)

[Lepre_Khan]

"Treat? You view threats as treats? Well then, sir elf. Lead on and enjoy whatever sweet goods come your way." Richard shakes his head incredulously at the ranger and looks warily around for any goblinoid treats or marshmallow threats.

[MorkaisChosen]

His mind still on the theatrical discussion they were having earlier, MLE looks for treant treats.

"What sort of stuff do the goblins mine? Are we talking iron and steel, or treacle?"

[spoiler]I think we should rtun with that typo, guys... See how far we can take it...[/poiler]

[Helepolis]

Panitari follows along, still not believing exactly how retarded this group is. Regardless, she keeps an eye out for goblins and such, and her crystal rides on her shoulder, also keeping a figurative eye out.

[Meek]

The Cliffside is desolate. You're perfectly sure, and not merely because of faulty narration nor anything of that sort, that there's nothing on the cliff face to impede you. Except, far up above, a mountain goat. With strangely twisted eyes...

"...Mountain Goat..." Karin says, writing it on her notes.

The climb up to the Mine should not be too hard, you all believe, with varying degrees of optimism. There are a number of outcroppings, a little too convenient to be natural, that can be taken like distant steps up to the entrance to the mine.

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE sets off with gusto, interested to see the mine at last.

"Those step-like bits are awfully convenient- who d you think made them? Miners, maybe?"

[Helepolis]

Panitari shrugs, as she works her way up the 'steps' "Likely...who the hell else would have a reason to climb?"

[Lepre_Khan]

"Well, adventurers for one thing. Maybe we even have a village of some sort up here, and it's useful for trade. Karin would know best though, Karin you have any idea's about the history of these steps?" Richard follows his companions up to the mines, whistling Coltrane's "Giant Steps" as he waits for a reply from his beautiful--if loony--employer.

[Meek]

"As a matter of fact, they were carved out of the mountain by goblins. History [checks] tells us that the mountain face we are seeing was once some fifteen feet thicker, but the goblins who settled here carved and dug to what we are seeing now. Rough work, but a bunch of low level goblins can't have that many Craft: Wreck Perfectly Good Mountainside ranks." Karin says. "The Goblins here mine ore out of the mountain. Usually Glitzthil, a really, well, glitzy material. But it's totally useless at anything but looking pretty, which is why a lot of Bards buy it and make their weapons out of it (which ironically gives penalties to anything but looking pretty)."

She looks up. "I don't think we even need much of a jump check to get up these. Let me see."

She moves further up the ramp, and faces the first of the steps. She moves forward and suddenly is up on the step with little transition, as though she had merely walked on it despite it being a square away. "A ha! DC5 Jump check! Meaning anybody can make it! I love being a modern woman in the age of Three And a Half."

[Helepolis]

Panitari smiles "Works for me". She follows Karin, hopping up easily.

Taking 10 on jump. Duh. >_>

[Flame_Excess]

In the meantime the party is analysing the steps, Fhil carefully opens his packpack on the ground. He plunges his hand in it to come out with an unusual torch; its head has no twisted flax or any flammable substance. Fhil opens a side pocket and reaches for his flint and steel. In only one brusk attempt, the torch is lit. The elf leaves it on the ground and lifts with vigor his backpack and threads it back on place. He picks his torch in his left hand and moves a couple of quick steps to make his way across the party members in order to take back the lead over everyone. His action implies him to delicately push off any companions in his way, but nothing harsh.

Take 10 on jump check.

[Lepre_Khan]

"Eager to reach the treats, are we?" Richard rolls his eyes as Fhil rudely shoves his way to the front, but follows more-or-less merrily.

[Meek]

You climb steadily up to the largest outcropping at the entrance to the mine. It is a massive, jagged wound on the mountain, four squares wide and six tall, patched and held festering by thick wooden beams against its walls, steel against its ceiling. You can see some six squares into it, along with a square here or there thanks to a few torches set up along the walls. Otherwise it is dark, and cold air seems to blast out of it. There is a scent of iron coming from it, quite faint but still palpable. You see not a single goblin, nor even any tracks on the dusty floor.

"Ominous," Karin says, "I shall have to write really grim expository text for this! Something like...'a jagged wound on the mountain held festering by thick wooden beams'."

I wonder if anyone'll pick up on what I'm hinting at here. And no, it's not JUST a joke about hearing this narration (which you don't, by the by) :smallamused:

[MorkaisChosen]

"I don't have much avdenturing experience," MLE says, "but jagged, festering wounds are fairly common, aren't they? Probably we'll et in and find the miners have all been murderered by malfunctioning mining golems, and it looks like the maintenance goblin did it but then we find him dead, too..."

He looks puzzled, and adds, "Not sure where all the specifics came from there..."

[Flame_Excess]

Fhil suddenly stops and turns around to answer Linkely:

It depends of which treats you are talking about. If there are any goods, I will leave it to you. And no, I am not talking about good treats in this case. Conventional goods treated as treats. You will understand when the time comes...

Turning back in direction of the deep confines of the mine, Fhil mumbles to himself: ...I should not be that good to them...
He goes farther within the mine.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard shakes his head as Fhil kindly explains himself, "Take the left turn Fhil, we'll be right behind you!" Turning to MLE he adds, "I've always liked turning right, how about you? Unless--you weren't trying to hint at something about metallic creatures killing weak fleshy creatures, were you?"

[Flame_Excess]

I am not interested in your colors.

[Helepolis]

Panitari follows, next to Karin

[MorkaisChosen]

"Oh, no, sorry, I wasn't hinting anything." Grinning, he continues, "Anyway, I'm sort of alive- Living Construct type, remember?"

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard chuckles as he responds,"Well MLE, I wasn't concerned about you being a Living Construct. I was concerned about you being a Murderous Construct." Slapping MLE on the shoulder, Richard continues, "Still, you seem like a swell guy to me so I'll trust you. Tell me, does your Warlock Vision (tm) show us anything in these tunnels?"

[Meek]

Everyone ventures forth into the dark, cavernous maw of...well, the cavern. The mine shaft is long and dark, and Fhil plunges on ahead, with everyone following. After a time you can barely see in front of you, when suddenly, you hear a scream. "Oh my!" Karin says. As you forge on, you stop suddenly – Karin's wheelchair seems to be flying over nothing.

There is a sign next to her, which she illuminates with a spell.

The World's First Bottomless Pit
Brought to you by the Kriek Geographical Society

One of Fhil's shoes is caught in a rock just in front of the pit.

And there is a lever on the other side.

"Hmm, guess he was so enthusiastic he didn't pull the lever to extend the bridge. We'll have to ask the Kriek Geographic Society if they can retrieve people from there. Sometime."

Reactions, while I create a map for my next event :smallbiggrin:

[Helepolis]

Panitari drops to her hands and knees, and carefully moves forward to look down the pit "He really screwed up this time, didn't he?' She then looks up, and across the pit, at the lever. "Wait.....why the hell is the lever on the far side?"

[Meek]

"Oh, I don't know. I don't understand the Kriek Geographic Society. I was kicked out of it. They all are very qualified, don't get me wrong. They kept showing me their badges. So they must be."

"But they seem to work in strange ways. Once I asked them whether it was really prudent to try to make an artificial floating island using magical propellers that would be equipped to deliver shade to specific tourist locations in Kriek. They said I was a damned theocrat, who feared change."

"But I suspect they have their reasons."

She hovers over to the other side, and pulls the lever. The side wall of the pit collapses over it, covering the hole completely. A bucket appears to be affixed to the stone. There is also text on the floor:

Contribute to the Kriek Geographical Society!

Karin drops a gold coin in the bucket.

[Helepolis]

Panitari shakes her head "They get no money from me till they stop being such fabulous retards".

She crosses, following Karin

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE also wanders across, his Warlock Vision (tm) looking out (after a reminder) for any evidence.

He also doesn't put a coin in the bucket, but waits on the other side and glances around and listens out for any timpani that might be sounding below them.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard looks at where the hole in the ground was and feels slightly guilty that he may have led to the rangers death. Or, at least, eternal fall. But, really, what kind of last words were, "I am not interested in your colours." Shaking his head, he walks across and leaves three gold coins in the cup. Better safe than sorry, a coin for each adventurer seems only fair. Poetic, even.

[Meek]

As you cross, you begin to hear voices coming towards you.

"I thought I heard a really girly scream coming from here." Says the first voice, rather gruff.

"I thought we'd already caught all the goblins and locked them up, you think we might have missed any?" A second, very deep voice says.

"Man, if we missed a goblin, the prince will flip. Well, he'd find a reason to flip anyway, but this time his anger would be justified and it would be scary."

"I'm of the opinion that, whatever we find, we should just eradicate mercilessly."

"I agree. Being Usually Neutral Evil is very convenient isn't it?"

Oh my! Looks like an encounter! Hello everyone, this is Karin Apuleius, taking over the present-tense narration personally for just a little moment! Like in those video games where the combat system is inexplicably explained to you in game terms! Isn't that fun? It's also difficult to explain and destroys suspension of disbelief...oh my...

I hope those enemies can't hear me...

Anyway, let's get started!

http://i279.photobucket.com/albums/kk131/WyattSalazar/Grid-1-1.jpg?t=1213830289

There we go! That's your map for this encounter! I shall explain the map. Each square in the map is...well, a square! Isn't that lovely? Brown tiles are the cavern walls. You can't walk through those! White tiles are normal terrain, but watch out for grey tiles! Grey Tiles are Difficult Terrain! They take two squares to move through, and while standing on them, enemies gain bonuses to hitting you!

Now for reading the map, see the dots? They represent people! So I'm the little cute purple dot at C3. The enemies are the teal dots at Q2 and R3. In the darkness of the cavern though, you can only see 6 squares ahead of yourself, so you can't see the enemies yet, although you can hear them! ...Which is awkward given I just told you where they are...

One last thing: In Paradiso, all non-spell ranged attacks that use an attack roll add Dexterity modifier to damage. Arcane ranged spells that use an attack roll add Intelligence. Eldritch Blasts also have a special rule like that, adding Charisma modifier to damage! Anyway, this has been–

Dromeda Legionnaire: Hey! What the hell? You're explaining house rules in the middle of combat? What kind of shoddy–

Karin: It's not my fault. And how are you talking to me? Oh wait, this is Karin's Houserule Corner! Magical things happen here...

Dromeda Legionnaire: What? Oh for god's sakes, the players are totally not buying this crap...

Karin: This has been a super happy fun edition of Karin's Houserule Corner! Until next time pertinent, and/or made-up on the spot houserules apply, see you!
I couldn't help myself. You'll see more of those...anyway, reactions and initiative, and pick spots in rows A, B, or C. Normally I would just roll initiative, but I want reactions, so yeah. Might as well let ya have a go at that. Who knows I might never actually roll initiative for you. Maybe. Anyway Karin's Houserule Corners aren't seen by the actual PCs, since they're stuff characters in the world are supposed to know. Hope that was fun!

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE takes up a position just behind Karin, quickly muttering a short incantation and making a few gestures to fill himself with all the silver-tongued persuasiveness of a built, bred, trained and devil-powered professional mechanic.

That done, he watches to see what will emerge from the darkness...

Initiative roll: [roll0]
Also, that was a Beguiling Influence invocation, because I forgot to say I was using it immediately in the morning...

[Helepolis]

Panitari stands ready for the monsters, next to Karin, waiting to see what sort of shenanigans take place.

Standing in C2. 21 Init (http://invisiblecastle.com/roller/view/1632515/). Hopefully GITP accepts my post this time, since I made an identical one last night. <_<

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard gets a bit nervous upon hearing voices. Fighting in reality is something he had rather limited experience in. He was an expert fighter, in theory, but theory was a lot more fun since there was no risk of getting bloody or gashed or whatever. Fumbling through his pack, the poet bravely brandishes a wondrous wand of colour spray. "They're not too dangerous, are they? I mean, killing goblins isn't something that this Prince character would send elite troops to handle, right?"

I'll take B4 if you don't mind. Initiative [roll0]

[Meek]

"Hmm? I thought I heard something."

"All crap in your head. I'll go on up ahead, you're too spaced out."

You hear footsteps coming closer as combat begins, but see nobody around still.

Map Update:

http://i279.photobucket.com/albums/kk131/WyattSalazar/Grid-1-1.jpg?t=1213985678

Morkais didn't select a specific spot, so I just picked one for him that I thought would be best tactically. Also, excuse the slight color changes. Photobucket has such a gigantic color palette that I keep forgetting the exact shades I am using. The enemies in this encounter will be that little blueish sort of color, and everyone else is colored by (the closest I could get to) their chosen dialogue color.

While I appreciate order, I also know that not everyone has a whole day to be waiting for someone else to post. So if you post your actions out of order, I can sort them out myself later to the best tactical result. So if it comes between having to wait a day to make your post, and posting for the day, just post.

And remember that you can only see six squares ahead right now, but you do know that enemies are ahead, and the corridor isn't very wide.

Anyway: the first enemy moved, with an initiative of 23. So now it's Panitari's turn, then MLE directly after.

[Helepolis]

Panitari stands where she is, and readies a small blob of ectoplasm in her hands, to fire at the first enemy she sees.

Readying Entangling Ectoplasm Power on first enemy to pop up. 17 on ranged touch attack. (http://invisiblecastle.com/roller/view/1634618/). Hit creature is entangled. Entangled

The character is ensnared. Being entangled impedes movement, but does not entirely prevent it unless the bonds are anchored to an immobile object or tethered by an opposing force. An entangled creature moves at half speed, cannot run or charge, and takes a -2 penalty on all attack rolls and a -4 penalty to Dexterity. An entangled character who attempts to cast a spell must make a Concentration check (DC 15 + the spell’s level) or lose the spell.

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE stays where he is, shouts, "Who are you?" out into the distance- they already known the valiant adventurers are here, of course, but neither group has any idea who the other is- and conjures a ball of eldritch fire around his right hand. In the flickering blue flames there is a hint of a reflection, the merest image of a slip of paper covered in orderly rows of writing...

Talk as free action, ready action to fire a Frightful Blast-enhanced eldritch blast if the enemies become visible and are hostile.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard gulps as MLE calls out to the potential threat. Sweaty palm gripping his wand, he strains forward peering towards the potential threat. Muttering to himself he inscribes a pentagon upon the air and--through strength of will--forces the gathered power to enshroud him, protecting him from any sort of dangerous or unpleasant attacks.

"The seas were left behind;
in a harbour of Logres
lightly I came to land
under a roaring wind
Strained were the golden sails,
the masts of the galley creaked
as it rode for the Golden Horn
and I for the hills of Wales "

Casting Mage Armor on Self

[Meek]

"What the?"

"See, I did hear something!"

You hear the ringing of spears against the ground. "We are Legionnaires for the Extraplanar Dromeda Empire! This mine is under our control for the moment! Surrender immediately, or face...something!"

Karin stands put, arms crossed. She looks slightly pouty as though someone had said something very rude to her.

You hear more feet coming towards you. In a moment you see a man step out of the shadows...or at least you think it's a man. The person in question is actually extremely effeminate, with a girlish, feminine, rather beautiful face, short zig-zagging antennae the shape of very thin black coral. His (?) hair is a pinkish brown if such a thing is even possible, short and cut in a pageboy style. He (?) is clad in bulky plate armor but it does not seem to hinder him much at all, and he carries a spear.

All of his gear is branded with an odd mark – a smiling yellow face with antennae, large eyes and a wide, happily smiling mouth.

"Hah! I see you now intruders...and your cunningly readied energy blasts."

The Dromeda Legionnaire gulps as your readied actions go off on him. The entangling ectoplasm glues him to the ground, and he struggles in the face of the eldritch blast now flying toward him...

http://i279.photobucket.com/albums/kk131/WyattSalazar/Grid-1-1.jpg?t=1214266208

In the future, do the rolls for readied attacks in advance if possible. MLE, roll for your blast. Remember that I allow using invisible castle too, if you (like myself) feel the GITP roller has hurt you once too many. >_>

So as we have seen, the order is:

Dromeda L1
Panitari
MLE
Dromeda L2
Richard
Karin

And yes, the Dromeda symbol IS the "MsPaint Awesome Face" except with antennae.

[MorkaisChosen]

Sorry...

[roll0] to hit
[roll1] damage

[Meek]

Your eldritch blast misses the Legionnaire, but not by much. He gulps.

Panitari, then MLE

[Helepolis]

Panitari raises her hand, and concentrates, till fire swirls around it. She then levels her hand at the I3 Dromeda, and fires a ray of...fire. "Take this, you....strange...bug...thing..."
2 pp on an Energy Ray: Fire. 14 to hit on the ranged touch, 11 damage (http://invisiblecastle.com/roller/view/1640468/).

She then steps back behind Karin, and back once more [a3]

[MorkaisChosen]

MLE throws another blast of energy, the same as the last, flying across to hit the closest of the foe.

[roll0]
[roll1]

EDIT: I assume 25 on ranged touch is a hit?

The blast flies straight and true, releasing into the target the concentrated essence of the terrible feeling felt by every sentient entity on being handed a bill by the mechanic...

[Meek]

Both attacks blast the Dromeda legionnaire in the chest, and he wobbles around inside the ectoplasm, looking dizzy. "This. Sucks."

His partner appears beside him. "Don't worry! I have this!"

He raises his gauntlet, speaks some magic words.

Nothing happens.

"I hate not having in-class Use Magic Device." He sighs.

http://i279.photobucket.com/albums/kk131/WyattSalazar/Grid-1-1.jpg?t=1214540399

GITP just hasn't been my friend these past few days...when we're done with this encounter, I've half a mind to jump ship to Mythweavers, seriously.

Go Richard.

[Lepre_Khan]

Richard peered forth into the murk, trying to see what his allies were shooting at. Chanting slowly to himself he gathers multi-colored strands of energy around the head of his pen,

"He stood in his stirrups ; he stretched his hand ;
he fetched the pen of his spear from its bearer ".

I still can't see them, right? I can only see 6 squares ahead? I'll ready 'Rainbow Beam' for the first legionnaire I'll see. Hopefully the one already wounded.

I don't have the stats for the spell with me, so I'll roll for damage when I gt home. Sorry!

To Hit [roll0]

For when the attack is launched:

"The Aeneid's beaked lines swooped on Actium ;
the stooped horse charged ; back blown,
the flame of songs streaked the spread spears
and the strung faces of words on a strong tongue."

[Meek]

Yep, you still can't see them properly, but it won't matter soon.

Karin reaches into a compartment and takes out a loaded heavy crossbow, which she fires at the lead guard. The bolt drives past his plate and into his chest. With a cry of "I'm going to be demoted for this!" he sinks into the puddle of ectoplasmic goop he was trapped in.

The other one drops his spear, raises his arms and moves closer. "Okay, you're frickin' scary! I give up. Besides if you waste any more resources the Prince would lose challenge ratings to accommodate...and that might piss him off..."

[Meek]

http://www.myth-weavers.com/games.php?gameid=2230

Here we go!

Remember when signing up as applicant players, tell me who you were on GITP, if you have a different name there. So I know to select you. Don't post here, we'll continue the game there.