Lesser DMs wipe their parties.

[AstralFire]

I burn my parties' minds. They can't reroll those.

Yesterday, as they were investigating the possessions of a formidable kobold opponent, they found a very life-like, wooden mannequin of a female kobold. It smelled funny.

The reaction, in and out of character, was hilarious.

It was actually a training dummy for the kobold to practice deathstrikes on, turned somewhat foul-smelling from sweat, but I won't deny I intentionally made it a female mannequin to see what the reaction would be.

[Tengu]

If you're starting a PBP game on these forums, you have to let me know.

[allonym]

Uhm...

I run Call of Cthulhu? :smallwink:

Had a female librarian which the bookish dilettante of the party kept trying to get with. (Quote: "I want to impress her!" "...roll biology...").

She was a werewolf. A cult's beatstick which they used to maul apart their rivals.

Good times.

[AstralFire]

If you're starting a PBP game on these forums, you have to let me know.

Our sessions run 6 hours oftentimes and I try to keep my games roughly 40-50% combat, so PbP really would take too long. =\


Uhm...

I run Call of Cthulhu? :smallwink:

Had a female librarian which the bookish dilettante of the party kept trying to get with. (Quote: "I want to impress her!" "...roll biology...").

She was a werewolf. A cult's beatstick which they used to maul apart their rivals.

Good times.

Reminds me of our party's Elf Duskblade. Between me and the preceding DM he has hit on:

- The immortal servant of the campaign-wide BBEG, a Necrocarnate who wanted to turn him into a soul fetish.
- A lesbian Air Genasi trader who kept topless female Minotaurs around as guards. (I seriously thought that would have been a big hint to him).
- A beautiful elf who thought the human Shadowcaster was a lot nicer. (Higher Cha and he actually doesn't run his mouth at inopportune times.)

Meanwhile, it's sort of a running joke that all the female gnomes and halflings we run across are attracted to him. I started this after he complained that he was so handsome and no one was attracted to him. A recurring NPC Gnome Warlock thinks he's cute as a button, and the female half of the Anthropomorphized Deck of Many Things is absolutely enthralled with him. Likes to backstab him within an inch of his life and lick the blood before disappearing. She usually takes the form of a female halfling in scarlet and black with a plumed hat... one of my favorite characters, along with her twin brother.

[Citizen Joe]

Umm... Kobolds are reptiles
Reptiles are cold blooded
Cold blooded means they can't thermoregulate
Sweating is a means of thermoregulation
Thus kobolds don't sweat.

I'm not saying they don't have some sort of scent. But that ain't sweat on that training dummy.

[AstralFire]

This occurred to me and my mind rationalized it away by saying that kobolds, as something of a mongrel race in many other respects (they were more dog-like in earlier editions) picked up the ability to internally maintain homeostasis to a degree.

[Citizen Joe]

Dogs don't sweat either. I goes through their tongue/saliva which is why they pant.

[Nonah_Me]

Dragons maintain a temperature, even the [cold] based ones, I think. Kobolds are supposed to be descended from dragons, and so I'd figure that they'd be warmish blooded as well.

*clomp* Curbstomping catgirls!

[Admiral Squish]

It doesn't have to be sweat. I mean, since when has a roughly-made camp full of male miners ever smelled nice?

[Drider]

Dogs don't sweat either. I goes through their tongue/saliva which is why they pant.

Dogs AND reptiles do not talk, OR practice assassin death strikes...:smallredface:Who really knows tho?

[ColonelFuster]

Hmmm... forgive my blatant catgirl-homicide, but lizards do rub their legs on things to mark their territory... hm... maybe it was not "sweat" persay, but just a pheromone that originated from the sense of competition that comes with serious training... the fact that it comes from a lizsrd's upper legs does make it quite questionable, though...

[Muz]

The party, while searching through a sage's island home (more story-collector) with him for information came across a story about an "interview with a vampiress" that they didn't have time to look at. Later, in another land, they ran into a woman who wound up being a vampire mage, and the BBEG for a long while. They finally killed her, and eventually returned to the same island kingdom on a little side-trip. They wound up reading the vampiress story, finding out that not only was it the same vampiress, but the sage had been her lover before she was vamped, and the vampiress's granddaughter wound up being one of the party's chief allies on that island. ("Oh, by the way, you know how your mother disappeared when you were a little girl? Well she was kidnapped by HER mother, who was a vampire, the sword you're carrying was actually used to kill your own mother when SHE became a vampire, and WE just went through hell all because of grandma. Oh, and your grandfather's a weird hermit who's got a story-filled hut all down by the beach. So...how've YOU been?") :smalleek:


Dogs don't sweat either. I goes through their tongue/saliva which is why they pant.

Doesn't stop 'em from smellin' funny, though. :smallwink:

[Hal]

Reminds me of our party's Elf Duskblade. Between me and the preceding DM he has hit on:

- The immortal servant of the campaign-wide BBEG, a Necrocarnate who wanted to turn him into a soul fetish.
- A lesbian Air Genasi trader who kept topless female Minotaurs around as guards. (I seriously thought that would have been a big hint to him).
- A beautiful elf who thought the human Shadowcaster was a lot nicer. (Higher Cha and he actually doesn't run his mouth at inopportune times.)

Meanwhile, it's sort of a running joke that all the female gnomes and halflings we run across are attracted to him. I started this after he complained that he was so handsome and no one was attracted to him. A recurring NPC Gnome Warlock thinks he's cute as a button, and the female half of the Anthropomorphized Deck of Many Things is absolutely enthralled with him. Likes to backstab him within an inch of his life and lick the blood before disappearing. She usually takes the form of a female halfling in scarlet and black with a plumed hat... one of my favorite characters, along with her twin brother.

Heh, I like the gnome thing. That's pretty funny stuff.

Of course, if he's absolutely intent on getting laid in character, you could always have a band of half-giant barbarian ladies drag him off to make a man out of him, shouting, "Me want snoo-snoo!"

[Citizen Joe]

I never said that the kobolds wouldn't have a smell. I merely stated that it wouldn't be as innocent as sweat. The scent marking, the dog stink, the pheromonal stuff... all that points to weird stuff happening to that training dummy.

You may have THOUGHT you were leading them down a path, but I think you'll be surprised when you get there with them.

[Azerian Kelimon]

Ack, that's worse than having to escape a catgirl horde because you used Wish to stop physics from meddling into D&D. Seriously, that probably counts as enough sadism to give 'him an extra 1/10th his level's WBL as compensation.

*Goes back to corner* The 2d8 pouncing claws...the claws...

[AstralFire]

Ack, that's worse than having to escape a catgirl horde because you used Wish to stop physics from meddling into D&D. Seriously, that probably counts as enough sadism to give 'him an extra 1/10th his level's WBL as compensation.

*Goes back to corner* The 2d8 pouncing claws...the claws...

The anthropomorphized Deck? Or the Training Dummy? :D

[Azerian Kelimon]

No, the attack of the female half orcs.

Incidentally, I HAVE to give the group's Factotum with maxed Perform (Guitar, Oratory, Bass guitar) a group of hysteric fangirls.

[AstralFire]

No, the attack of the female half orcs.

Incidentally, I HAVE to give the group's Factotum with maxed Perform (Guitar, Oratory, Bass guitar) a group of hysteric fangirls.

?? I see no half-orcs. o.O

-Oratory- and guitar? So... he does blues or rap?

[Azerian Kelimon]

Nope, more like Mike Muir in Institutionalized or Charlie Daniels in The Devil Went Down to Georgia. He also has a near maxed Perform (Singing), but he prefers to save it for the time when he brings out the level-to-skill bonus for singing something awesome, like Carry on Wayward Son or Cult of Personality.


And here are the half giants, my bad:


Heh, I like the gnome thing. That's pretty funny stuff.

Of course, if he's absolutely intent on getting laid in character, you could always have a band of half-giant barbarian ladies drag him off to make a man out of him, shouting, "Me want snoo-snoo!