Vaarsuvius the Dashing Swordsman

[An Enemy Spy]

If :vaarsuvius: was inexplicably jealous of :elan: and decided to become a Dashing Swordsman too, what sort of puns do you think he would make?

[Skyserpent]

V seems the type to be above puns... I mean, quips and one-liners are pretty much the exact opposite of V's standard modus operandi...

[An Enemy Spy]

Thats why V is the focus of this thread. everything he says is long winded, thus making his puns funny

[Kish]

Considering Vaarsivius' Charisma, one-liners would do him/her no good anyway.

[Logalmier]

:vaarsuvius:"Prepare to be completely and utterly incinerated, for simple post-organic hostilities are simply no match for my unyielding arcane force,
the power that flows through my very soul would tear your sanity apart if you were even shown the mystic runes on which my power is scribed, these hands, these unstoppable hands that weave through the air, forming complex diagrams that will unleash a barrage of unstoppable magic that tears the very fabric of the universe apart when it is all said and done, will rearrange your very molluskcules, this divine power was not given to me by the gods, for who are the gods to challenge one as I , and lo! when you..." (proceeds on an hour long rant).

-Vaarsuvius, fighting 1d4 dire mollusks.

[DreadSpoon]

"Paper beats rock."

[Lorn]

E: Argh ninja'd

Considering Vaarsivius' Charisma, one-liners would do him/her no good anyway.
Beat me to it.

To be honest, they'd need explaining, thus losing the point of the pun, and thus acting like a negative Strength modifier, unless it's a case of add whichever is higher, in which case there would most likely be very little difference - I've seen him as basically a minmaxed character since very early on.

Plus, V most likely does not have the necessary feats to wield a rapier...

[Inhuman Bot]

Elves can auto use rapiers. And Loglimer, beat me to it!

[Logalmier]

E:
To be honest, they'd need explaining, thus losing the point of the pun, and thus acting like a negative Strength modifier, unless it's a case of add whichever is higher, in which case there would most likely be very little difference - I've seen him as basically a minmaxed character since very early on.

Plus, V most likely does not have the necessary feats to wield a rapier...

You guys are missing the point IMHO, if Vaarsuvius was a DS then what puns would he make, even though V couldn't really become a Dashing Swordsman.

[Kish]

You guys are missing the point IMHO, if Vaarsuvius was a DS then what puns would he make, even though V couldn't really become a Dashing Swordsman.
Okay...If Vaarsuvius was a completely different character, then what puns s/he would make, and what s/he would do in general, is unknowable.

[recluso]

Vaarsuvius does make quite a few one liner (practical) jokes, always with the words "Explosive Runes" in it...

[de-trick]

Elves can auto use rapiers. And Loglimer, beat me to it!

doesnt mean she be good at using it

remeber the longbow in the war

[Revanmal]

You people miss the point! It doesn't matter whether or not V can or can not use rapiers, or would, or be any good at it. Nor do his stats matter! The question is:

If Varrsuvius, for some inexplicable reason, decided to become a Dashing Swordsman, whether it is a good idea or not, what puns would he use?

You folks can't see the forest for the trees. :smallconfused:

Edit: Except Logalmier. You get it.

[An Enemy Spy]

I cannot believe this thread. I just posted it to read some funny puns that go on and on and on. Instead I have 1 pun and a bunch of poeple talking about how he can't use a rapier. For the love of Giggles! it's a hypothetical question!

[drengnikrafe]

I cannot believe this thread. I just posted it to read some funny puns that go on and on and on. Instead I have 1 pun and a bunch of poeple talking about how he can't use a rapier. For the love of Giggles! it's a hypothetical question!

If it was a hypothetical question, you wouldn't expect an answer...

However, I will submit a pun, for the sake of the thread's true purpose: jokes.

:vaarsuvius: (Fighting a beholder) "I am the ultimate in magical prowess. The very reason for my striking you with a rapier, which, while I am proficient with due to my elven herritage, I am not at all efficient with due simply to the fact that I have never dabbled in such low things as melee combat, while I have the clearly superior ability to alter the very fabric of the universe. Due to this simple principle, I have used my world-altering magic to increase the power of the rapier that I presently hold within my hand, so that I would be able to use it to it's maximum amout of efficiency, by combining the might of magic with the considerably more dangerous end of this small iron object, not to say that the rapier is more dangerous then the magic, just more dangerous then it's other end, would then cause you to sustain damage that you would be unable to halt due to your knack for halting magical abilities through your antimagic ray. *Stab* Lo and Behold-er, it has worked.

[DreadSpoon]

If it was a hypothetical question, you wouldn't expect an answer...

I think you're confusing "hypothetical" with "rhetorical."

To everyone who thinks that V can't make puns, the one I posted above is an actual example of an actual pun made by V in the comic.

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0424.html <-- last panel

No, V would not get any combat bonuses from being a Dashing Swordsman (since the rules presumably state only that he could use CHA in place of STR for melee attacks if he makes a pun), but neither would said Dashing Swordsman ability make him any less effective in combat, unless his STR bonus is higher than his CHA, which seems highly unlikely.

So there. :p

[Ramien]

V, upon learning the class requirements:
"One liners?!? One liners?!? What race of sentient beings could have such an infinitesimally minute duration to their lifespans that they would deign to consider passing on a lifetime's worth of wisdom into a paltry number of often monosyllabic words that are not even likely to be heard by the object of one's sharpened blade and speech?"