Need help helping with panic attacks

[evisiron]

My girlfriend occasionally has panic attacks. Thankfully they are pretty rare, but they seem scary when they do happen. I have no idea what to do in these situations.

Is anyone in a similar situation or have advice that could help me help her?

[Don Julio Anejo]

See a therapist. Anything we say can do more harm than good in the long run.

[Tempest Fennac]

I agree about seeing a therapist. Herbal remedies could help as well.

[Jae]

I don’t honestly believe you have to go to a therapist for panic attacks…

I get panic attacks. I used to have a few weeks where I’d get them on a regular basis..but now I get them rarely.

Uhmm, when I do, though, I generally like somebody to be AROUND. Which is why if Im afraid of getting one, I'll stay online until who knows how long just talking to SOMEBODY because in my mind they could somehow help?? (panic attacks=logic out the window.) Likewise, if Im about to have one I like to call somebody.
I'm a very independent person. Rarely will I ask for anything, let alone help. But one time I went to my mom at 2 in the morning whilst having a panic attack and told her than my heart was racing and I couldnt breathe and blahblah. She's an er nurse so obviously I trust her opinion medically..she told me my heartbeat was normal and there is nothing wrong with me and I was not going to die. (I must be pretty spazzy during a panic attack because I had not even mentioned that I thought I was going to die..)
No, it didnt much help, but it's the most calming advice I've ever gotten during a panic attack.

Often, people feed into it and DONT DO THAT! I used to have a boyfriend who would do thing like start asking me about stuff or trying to take my pulse before I actually started to have one (lol yeah im pretty obvious and i tend to like, hold my neck if i start feeling all freaked) and I swear that only brought it on. Do not freak out with her. And don't expect her to be all too logical. lol im a teenager runner and ive been convinced on several occasions that I was having a heart attack and that I most surely would die. :smallamused:

As an afternote, if shes anything like me she will at all costs avoid any place where she previously had a panic attack and going to those places is not at all helpful.

@V: now, you might not believe this but I actually spent a ridiculous amount of time in my life not only studying psych on my own, but reading a ridiculous amount of textbooks -gasp-
I guess I finally trust my own experiences above the text of a book, hmm??

[Solo]

I don’t honestly believe you have to go to a therapist for panic attacks…



I do. My psychology text books tells m ei tis an appropriate coruse of action.


In the meantime, I must refer the OP to the immortal advice of the HHGtTG: Don't Panic!

[Don Julio Anejo]

I do. My psychology text books tells m ei tis an appropriate coruse of action.
So do mine... to be sure I'll ask one of my profs tomorrow, who's a practicing therapist (she mostly does cognitive/behavioural therapy, which is btw one of the more effective methods for phobias, anxieties, etc).

The problem is that panic attacks often have an underlying cause of anxiety that's causing them, and treating it can help with a lot of other problems, as well as help avoid other problems in the long run.

Also, a person with panic attacks usually has severe anxiety about going to places they've had one before. Can lead to things like agoraphobia. So IMO, you're better off seeing a professional to at least diagnose the problem.

[Conrad Poohs]

Stress and depression in general is a complex issue I feel, and as such there is no single particular solution to satisfy everyone. I don't know what the exact medical definition of a panic attack is, but I'd reckon I've had quite a few at least minor ones, maybe not panic "attacks" per se, but stress and upset where even though I might be able to rationalise the situation I cannot do anything because I am almost paralysed by an extreme tension inside of me. Crying is fantastic treatment, however it is unfortunately not always easy to do, whether you feel like doing it or not. Purely by coincidence I just this afternoon created a file about how to cheer myself up, here's some of my own current strategies and future strategies from my list:
Music
Music + entertaining book
Music + spiritual/inspiring/learnding book
Walking in silly clothes
Chores – self
Chores – others (e.g. cleaning, labour, errand, dinner)
Write – creative
Write – thoughts
Hug
Soil trousers (i.e. pour soil down them)
Draw
Join a terrorist club or organisation
Count – blessings; compare self to others (the worse kind of others, that is)
Day-off (e.g. bushwalking, socialising, cleaning, sex)
Cold shower followed by night jog and frequent cries of “F*ck this c*nt-sh*ttery!!”
Bicycle
Nice food
Plenty of water
Lingerie

Obviously each of these things depends on personal preference and particularly the exact nature of the stress and its intensity (and a couple of them I threw in to amuse myself :smalltongue:). If you can see it coming it is a lot easier to treat it before hand than if it's already in full swing, by which stage even the most inspired logic may be useless and time and love are all that's left in the arsenal. The bottom line is if it is a particular set of circumstances that is causing you to feel this intense pressure, you need to completely remove yourself from it - ignore the imposed responsibilities and deadlines or whatever, then head out, out of the building, street or even the town. Preferably on foot, because driving and cycling, while they can be good, I find they require a little to much concentration (and concentration can impede the abatement of stress) and less thinking time therefore. Don't overthink things, but while you walk, bathe yourself in serenity and rationality (walking while listening to mellow/inspiring music can often help this), admitting to yourself that objectives are not so important to warrant so much pain and put some faith in yourself to overcome them when you continue on in blissfull ignorance. Just make sure you aren't trying to just fit such a walk into your busy schedule (i.e. for a set time of like half an hour), for this puts pressure on you to solve the problem in a certain (and quite possibly insufficient) period of time. Doing something sort of outrageous (such as my patented walking about town in pyjama pants for which the elastic is so stretched that I use a clothes peg to hold them up [with varying degrees of success]) is incredibly emancipating and invigorating and it really provides a welcome brutal juxtaposition to the context from which the panic is being caused. Evisiron, I know it can be incredibly tough to see someone else in pain and feel helpless to stop it, I much prefer to be in that pain myself than see a loved one in it :smallsmile:. Fortunately for me I have experienced more of this type of thing directly than I've seen, though my mother used to get fully-fledged panic attacks and my Dad (who was divorced from my Mum) used to have to rush in from like 20km out of town to comfort her (I was only around 10 at the time). Mum's not completely emotionally stable these days, but she's come quite a way thanks to years of regular councilling. I don't know exactly the best way to deal with this situation as a bystander, but all I can think of is changing the environment the victim is in, either by physically removing them from it or by making it more serene or something like that, but, despite spending the last 4 years or so trying to understand the depressing problems in my brain, I am still no expert on the human psychy, and so I would suggest that counselling (for each of you) would be a good start. Good luck.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

My girlfriend occasionally has panic attacks. Thankfully they are pretty rare, but they seem scary when they do happen. I have no idea what to do in these situations.

Is anyone in a similar situation or have advice that could help me help her?
I would very much like to know what the triggers for her panic attacks are. The answer depends upon the trigger, if there is one.

[Don Julio Anejo]

Bor, the big problem with panic attacks is that very often triggers aren't apparent. They just happen for no reason.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

From a guy who has panic attacks, I know. But there are some known triggers, and those are more easily addressed than, "Okay...I was sitting at the computer, playing a video game, when my heart relocated to my throat, and I was shaking as I reached for my anxiety meds." I hate those "I was doing nothing specific" attacks, where I want to hide and shake and cry.

*sigh*

PTSD sucks. :smalleek:

[potatocubed]

Like Jae, I find that talking to people helps calm me down when I'm having one of mine. Other distractions should work in theory, but I tend to space out on them in order to freak out more. Another person demands attention - sometimes literally - in a way that video games don't.

However, what you need to remember is that your gf is having the panic attacks and not you. Ultimately, while you can help her cope with them (be calm, talk about stuff - exactly what stuff depends on what sort of person she is, your relationship, and a load of other things we don't have information about), the job of actually overcoming the panic lies with her.

[Don Julio Anejo]

Okay, I talked to my prof. Her answer - they're usually treatable pretty well with behaviour therapy although you generally don't have to go that route - there's an awesome self-help book on them.

It's:

Mastery of Your Anxiety and Panic: Therapist Guide (http://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Your-Anxiety-Panic-Treatments/dp/019531140X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214426915&sr=1-3) by Michelle Craske.

I'll leave the topic at that, since I don't know anything about the situation, I've never met the OP's girlfriend, I can't do any assessment and I don't even know if she has, for example, borderline personality disorder which screws over quite a bit with panic and anxiety.

[phoenixineohp]

It was grade 9 when I finally found out that not everyone had them*... I just thought it was a normal part of the human emotional spectrum. Experienced by everyone. Apparently my emotional spectrum was a bit more rare than I thought. :smallannoyed:

I'm lucky in the way that mine do not often cause the feeling of death or dying. They are more like you body suddenly running a marathon while you are sitting totally still. Well still as in 'lack of voluntary movement'. (Hence why I call them 'Humming bird moments') I'm also lucky that mine are mostly controlled or at least lessoned by my medication. Thank heavens.

I do suggest a doctor of some sort or counselor. There is usually a cause or trigger. Or an underlying issue. And they could be connected to a wider problem. Mine were, and I just thought it was all normal. One thing professionals can help you accurately evaluate.

In the mean time, coping strategies are important. Try to find a healthy one that can lesson the panic or make it manageable. Everything from sitting on your hands while lying on the couch and watching tv to organizing things to writing out lists to cooking to going for a run or walk could help. For me, organizing is great. Even for minor ones it can clear it up. Often I catch myself cleaning and then realize how I'm feeling. As in I've already started the coping strategy**.

The important thing to remember when watching or experiencing one is that it will end. Don't get stressed about it, let it play out and try to help stop it. But it will run it's course and it will end.

*Them being panic and anxiety attacks

** In interest of full disclosure, the OCD probably plays a factor here. :smalltongue:

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

I'm no expert, nay, I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I think the best thing you can do is be there.

[Zarrexaij]

I've been having panic attacks since 9, but they really started to be a pain in the ass when I was 11 and 12 when I had one almost every single day due to remembering repressed memories and being scared to **** by bullies.

While I do suggest having her see a therapist, finding ways to cope is always good. Normally my attacks around other people. I do NOT suggest immediately wrapping your arms around her because I have no idea what her trigger is. If it's anything like mine (and I don't feel like going there), she will fight and it will only scare her more. However, do tell her everything's fine, that she's not going to die, that everything will be all right.

She needs to try to controlling her hyperventilation. That can leave her light headed and even get her to the point of fainting.

[Ranna]

Brown paper bag? I know that is an ashma thing but it can help, other than that you need to get her out of the situation somewhere where you and her can be alone, sit her down and say what she wants and needs to hear?

[dickjones]

Hello evisiron,
Panic attack does not really harm you physically, panic attacks will affect you psychologically. These attacks usually come and go and are the response of the body to a threat, which may be real or not.And stress is ,I think ,may be the reason for these attack.


http://www.kickpanicaway.com/


Good Bye N Take Care

[xPANCAKEx]

seek professional help

[chef781]

here's a tip. think about this. "how many people can easily get through their day?
try sitting down evry now and again without thoughts. feel ur breath..
um, also, try homeopathics.

[Trog]

Seeing someone might help her out.

Best advice I can give you... or her... is to concentrate on your breathing. Focus solely on that and only that. This is something you can do anywhere and can help you grab the vigorous horse of your mind, which often, in panic attacks, is running full speed and seems uncontrollable.

Talk this over with your GF and ask if she'd like to try it together with you some time. At the very least it tends to ease your stress, which often contributes to panic attacks, in my personal experience.