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View Full Version : Translations of RL items to D&D



Deth Muncher
2008-06-25, 10:40 PM
I'm not talking about weapons here, folks. I'm talking about silly things, like, say, translating a Can of Red Bull to a Potion of Fly (because Red Bull give you wings). And I'm not talking about homebrewed items (although that guy statting out Powerthirst and Brawndo was pretty funny).

Anyone else have funny thoughts?

Chronos
2008-06-25, 10:43 PM
The thing you're sitting in front of right now? Mirror of Opposition. Don't believe me? Just type something into it (say, about which version of D&D you prefer, or what class is most powerful), and within moments, there'll be something on it opposing you.

Solo
2008-06-25, 10:45 PM
The thing you're sitting in front of right now? Mirror of Opposition. Don't believe me? Just type something into it (say, about which version of D&D you prefer, or what class is most powerful), and within moments, there'll be something on it opposing you.
Your opinion is wrong.

Deth Muncher
2008-06-25, 10:47 PM
The thing you're sitting in front of right now? Mirror of Opposition. Don't believe me? Just type something into it (say, about which version of D&D you prefer, or what class is most powerful), and within moments, there'll be something on it opposing you.

I love it!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's another, not quite as funny:

Wand of Mage Hand = Remote Control.

Daracaex
2008-06-25, 10:49 PM
The thing you're sitting in front of right now? Mirror of Opposition. Don't believe me? Just type something into it (say, about which version of D&D you prefer, or what class is most powerful), and within moments, there'll be something on it opposing you.
Your opinion is wrong.

...Bwahahahaha! Sigquoted! Both of you!

monty
2008-06-25, 10:54 PM
I love it!

No you don't.


...Bwahahahaha! Sigquoted! Both of you!

No you didn't.

Daracaex
2008-06-25, 11:12 PM
No you didn't.

Huh? I'm so confused...

Solo
2008-06-25, 11:17 PM
Huh? I'm so confused...

No you aren't.

Daracaex
2008-06-25, 11:21 PM
No you aren't.

!

Okay, now I feel really stupid...

Daracaex
2008-06-25, 11:22 PM
!

Okay, now I feel really stupid...

No you don't.:smallwink:

Jack Zander
2008-06-25, 11:22 PM
Wand of Shocking Grasp = Defibrillator.

Solo
2008-06-25, 11:22 PM
No you don't.:smallwink:

Yes he does.

monty
2008-06-25, 11:38 PM
Yes he does.

It is taking an incredible amount of effort to not drift into the Argument Clinic sketch right now.

Hawriel
2008-06-25, 11:56 PM
The copy spell from 2nd ed. I have not seen it in 3rd. It was one of the best spells my thief/mage had. whare am I going with this? Two of my friends worked for kinkos. so natualy variations and upgrades of the spell copy came into being. Coalate, bind, sort, double sided, adjusting size, a very bright green light that eminated from the hand when casting the spell.

jcsw
2008-06-25, 11:57 PM
It is taking an incredible amount of effort to not drift into the Argument Clinic sketch right now.
It's not an Argument Clinic.
An argument isn't just saying "No it isn't!"

Solo
2008-06-25, 11:59 PM
It's not an Argument Clinic.
An argument isn't just saying "No it isn't!"

Yes it is.

tyckspoon
2008-06-26, 12:00 AM
The copy spell from 2nd ed. I have not seen it in 3rd. It was one of the best spells my thief/mage had. whare am I going with this? Two of my friends worked for kinkos. so natualy variations and upgrades of the spell copy came into being. Coalate, bind, sort, double sided, adjusting size, a very bright green light that eminated from the hand when casting the spell.

Secret Page can make copies, although it's a little weird to think of making versions of that one specifically to recreate the functions of a copy machine.

Deth Muncher
2008-06-26, 12:39 AM
The copy spell from 2nd ed. I have not seen it in 3rd. It was one of the best spells my thief/mage had. whare am I going with this? Two of my friends worked for kinkos. so natualy variations and upgrades of the spell copy came into being. Coalate, bind, sort, double sided, adjusting size, a very bright green light that eminated from the hand when casting the spell.

Vocal Component: High Pitched Grinding Sound?

Somatic Component: Waving said glowing green hand very slowly over said item to be copied?

The Necroswanso
2008-06-26, 01:32 AM
Heh, wand of shocking grasp=tazer.

wand of magic missile=roman candle.

that bard sword that makes a song's effect last x rounds after you've stopped playing=tape deck.

boots of jumping +5=moonboots

staff of leaping=pogostick

wand of orcus=why are you even going there?

Chronos
2008-06-26, 02:03 AM
She absolutely did not shoot you, and I completely expected it. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0327.html)

Mushroom Ninja
2008-06-26, 07:31 AM
No! She totally just shot me!



Also, I think there's a spell in the Spell Compendium that coppies somthing.

Kurald Galain
2008-06-26, 07:58 AM
This sentence is false.

JeminiZero
2008-06-26, 08:05 AM
The thing you're sitting in front of right now? Mirror of Opposition. Don't believe me? Just type something into it (say, about which version of D&D you prefer, or what class is most powerful), and within moments, there'll be something on it opposing you.

Its also a masterwork tool that lets you add your Search skill score to any Knowledge check.

Also, Potion of Bear's Endurance = Coffee.

Another_Poet
2008-06-26, 09:11 AM
Its also a masterwork tool that lets you add your Search skill score to any Knowledge check.



But only if you succeed on a Sense Motive, or else you get false information.

(No you don't.)

Pronounceable
2008-06-26, 11:12 AM
Yes it is.

Sorry the five minutes is up. Good morning!

Jack Zander
2008-06-26, 11:17 AM
This sentence is false.

I've never understood how that is a paradox. There are no facts within the sentence to be considered true or false. Sentences themselves cannot be true or false unless they have something that can be proven within them. The only thing that is false about that sentence is how it's falsely written.

ikrase
2008-06-26, 11:42 AM
Well, I have always wished I had a Grinder of Keen Edge (anyone who has to sharpen drill bits or endmills for machine tools will understand this.)

Not exactly Magic, but the ENCO (tm) 5-piece adamantine end mill set sounds good, I can ignore up to Rockwell 20 hardness.. :smallbiggrin:


What about the Cube of Ghost Sound (iPod), Board of Major Image (TV), or Tablet of Infinite Sending (cellphone). Does casting Magic Weapon on my lathe tools give me +1 on Craft (metalworking and machining) checks?

kamikasei
2008-06-26, 11:46 AM
I've never understood how that is a paradox. There are no facts within the sentence to be considered true or false. Sentences themselves cannot be true or false unless they have something that can be proven within them. The only thing that is false about that sentence is how it's falsely written.

"This statement is false".

That's stating a fact: a fact about the truth of the statement. Is the fact true or false?

Enlong
2008-06-26, 01:58 PM
Cell Phones: Permanent of Message. Don't believe me? It allows you to have a conversation with a person of almost any distance from you, you can speak to them with any strength of voice, and it runs out of charge if used too much, but can be recharged.

And there's a lot of baseball players that know where to find potions of Bull's Strength.

Flickerdart
2008-06-26, 02:33 PM
"This statement is false".

That's stating a fact: a fact about the truth of the statement. Is the fact true or false?
statement = null; //You're welcome


And there's a lot of baseball players that know where to find potions of Bull's Strength.
That's made out of a bull's heart, not a bull's, er, something else.

Collin152
2008-06-26, 02:50 PM
This sentence is false.

Yes, yes it is.

KillianHawkeye
2008-06-26, 09:56 PM
I've never understood how that is a paradox. There are no facts within the sentence to be considered true or false. Sentences themselves cannot be true or false unless they have something that can be proven within them. The only thing that is false about that sentence is how it's falsely written.

"This sentence is false." is a statement. In logic, a statement can either be true or false.

It is the same as the statement "I am lying." If I really AM lying (the statement is true), then I cannot be lying because I said I was. If I'm not lying (the statement is false), then the implication is that I must be lying because I said I wasn't.

I.E. such a statement cannot reference itself without causing an infinitely recursive loop in logic. It is a paradox because one statement cannot be both true and false at the same time.

Solo
2008-06-26, 10:01 PM
Sorry the five minutes is up. Good morning!

That was not five minutes just now.

Jack Zander
2008-06-26, 11:24 PM
"This sentence is false." is a statement. In logic, a statement can either be true or false.

It is the same as the statement "I am lying." If I really AM lying (the statement is true), then I cannot be lying because I said I was. If I'm not lying (the statement is false), then the implication is that I must be lying because I said I wasn't.

I.E. such a statement cannot reference itself without causing an infinitely recursive loop in logic. It is a paradox because one statement cannot be both true and false at the same time.

Ah that makes sense now, but I still think its a rather poor example of a paradox. The grandfather paradox is the probably the easiest to understand.