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View Full Version : Phantom Steed for a kobold



Cuddly
2008-07-06, 08:50 PM
What sort of phantom creature would a kobold conjure? The only part of the spell I'm interested in changing is the visuals. Everything else can stay the same.

Worira
2008-07-06, 09:02 PM
Dire weasel.

No, seriously. Kobolds ride dire weasels.

Chronicled
2008-07-06, 09:04 PM
Dire weasel.

No, seriously. Kobolds ride dire weasels.

It's true, they do.

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/rodragon_gallery/94133.jpg

Cuddly
2008-07-06, 09:05 PM
That's not very badass.

Chronos
2008-07-06, 09:14 PM
When the question is "kobold", the answer is always "dragon". Find a dragon of the right color to match your alignment, and then of the right age category to be appropriately-sized as a mount.

grinner666
2008-07-06, 09:17 PM
How is a bloodsucking, fanged giant-furred-snake-with-legs NOT badass??? :annoyed:

chiasaur11
2008-07-06, 09:18 PM
That's very badass.

I fixed the typo. What part of "Dire Weasel" is not awesome?

ArmorArmadillo
2008-07-06, 10:46 PM
That's not very badass.

Au contraire, they are very badass. Not to mention that their main ability is to attach on hits, holding on tight. Think about it, a kobold, on a weasel, hanging on a dragon.

monty
2008-07-06, 10:49 PM
That's not very badass.

Yes it is.

Chronicled
2008-07-07, 12:20 AM
That's not very badass.

You are mistaken.

Cuddly
2008-07-07, 12:38 AM
It's a big weasel.
You ever see weasels?
They're dumb. And stinky.

You're confusing badass and silly.

Draz74
2008-07-07, 02:03 AM
They're stinky, yes. And viscious, aggressive, nimble, fast, and tenacious. They routinely kill prey that is many times their own size. Granted, such prey is usually relatively peaceful herbivores like rabbits, but still. Even when they're confronted with carnivores many times their size and aggressive, like a cat, they can often fight dirty enough to convince the bigger animal that it's better off leaving weasel territory.

And as far as stinky goes ... they are in the skunk family, you know. That's part of their self-defense mechanism.

erockv
2008-07-07, 02:13 AM
We're talking about Kobolds here, were you really expecting some badass mount?

llamamushroom
2008-07-07, 02:23 AM
We're talking about Kobolds here, were you really expecting some badass mount?

Yes. Yes I was.

Does the mount necessarily have to be... usual? Could it be, for instance, a demonic pitbull? Or really anything demonic? Or... devilious? Is there a better word for that? Can I finish a sentence with anything but a question mark?

tyckspoon
2008-07-07, 02:35 AM
Does the mount necessarily have to be... usual? Could it be, for instance, a demonic pitbull? Or really anything demonic? Or... devilious? Is there a better word for that? Can I finish a sentence with anything but a question mark?

The spell says 'a Large horselike creature', but the only part of that that is actually game-relevant is the Large part. All of the rest of the stats of a Phantom Steed are fixed and not actually drawn from any particular creature, so you can make your personal Phantom Steed spell look like whatever the heck you want. Although it'll still be using a generally black/gray/smoke-colored palette, which does limit your options a little.

Skyserpent
2008-07-07, 03:39 AM
My Kobolds ride PEOPLE.

kpenguin
2008-07-07, 03:41 AM
Dire weasels are bad ass. Most dire animals are.

Tempest Fennac
2008-07-07, 03:43 AM
How does that work, Skyserpent? I'm guessing that Kobolds are a domnant specise in your campaign, right?

Skyserpent
2008-07-07, 04:05 AM
How does that work, Skyserpent? I'm guessing that Kobolds are a domnant specise in your campaign, right?

One particular chunk of the world has been conquered by Draconic masters. Leading to their subspecies, Kobolds and Dragonkin having a somewhat distinct social advantage in that particular part of the world... Humans and other "Lesser" races are reduced to slaves and third-class citizens. If they aren't outright eaten. It gets a little complex... but yeah...

This is by no means the dominant race in the entire campaign setting, but it is definitely going to be something my players will ahve to deal with... heh...

In all honesty though: Kobolds ride whatever they damn well please. However: The badassery of their choices all ends up amounting to personal taste. Some people find Dire Weasels silly. others say: "You know what: I'm gonna ride a Gelatinous Cube."

Eldritch_Ent
2008-07-07, 04:06 AM
My Kobold rides on a riding dog.

A Phantasmal Dachsund, to be specific, because they're small, long, and were actually originally bred to dogs sent into tunnels. Plus it's funny! And my Kobold's built on the "Cute yet deadly" personality.

But Dire Weasels are awesome too. Go with one of those. Other alternatives I've used in the past are beetles, snakes, ponies, large cats, rats, and a bear. But go with a dire weasel. They're very Badass.

Tempest Fennac
2008-07-07, 04:12 AM
Thanks for explaining. Dachunds are actually a good choice. Dire Yorkshire Terriers would work as well due to how they were used by miners to kill rats.

ArmorArmadillo
2008-07-07, 12:30 PM
It's a big weasel.
You ever see weasels?
They're dumb. And stinky.

You're confusing badass and silly.

So are boars, are you arguing that a dire boar would not be badass?

2008-07-07, 12:42 PM
Anything "dire" automatically gains awesome as a template. That's why they invented "dire", so non-awesome things could be awesome and awesome things could be awesome squared.
Which is why there are no dire dragons. It only goes to squared, not cubed.

How's that for a first post?

chiasaur11
2008-07-07, 01:01 PM
Anything "dire" automatically gains awesome as a template. That's why they invented "dire", so non-awesome things could be awesome and awesome things could be awesome squared.
Which is why there are no dire dragons. It only goes to squared, not cubed.

How's that for a first post?

Fine.
Welcome aboard.

Also, that explains the dire subtype quite well.

Chronicled
2008-07-07, 01:03 PM
So are boars, are you arguing that a dire boar would not be badass?

There can't be an arguement against fact. I've had a player play a Half-Orc CG Paladin with a Dire Boar mount. Between the two, the badassery could be intoxicating.

Cuddly
2008-07-07, 01:11 PM
Dire weasels may be awesome, but they're definitely not badass. Besides, a weasel's too furry for a kobold. And the thought of a flying dire weasel, well, also not very badass. Hilarious, yes. Badass, not really.

I like the idea of a dragon mount. Maybe a higher level version that does cooler stuff, like plane hop or teleport or has a burrow speed or something. Riding a quasi-real dragon that just runs really fast, also not very badass.

Chronicled
2008-07-07, 02:07 PM
Dire weasels may be awesome, but they're definitely not badass. Besides, a weasel's too furry for a kobold. And the thought of a flying dire weasel, well, also not very badass. Hilarious, yes. Badass, not really.

I like the idea of a dragon mount. Maybe a higher level version that does cooler stuff, like plane hop or teleport or has a burrow speed or something. Riding a quasi-real dragon that just runs really fast, also not very badass.

What DO you consider badass? Does it take a Flying Gibson a la FLCL?

Personally, a dark, giant, shadowy weasel twisting and sinewing through the sky at high speed with a small dragonman on its back can be pretty badass.

Signmaker
2008-07-07, 02:15 PM
We're talking about Kobolds here, were you really expecting some badass mount?

Are you suggesting that Kobolds aren't badass?
Tucker. Good night.

You don't mess with Dire Animals. BAD idea. So much awesome, not enough HP for them to rip outta you.

bosssmiley
2008-07-07, 04:00 PM
If the mustalid awesome that is the dire weasel is too much for you, then just pick a medium-sized drake out of the 4E MM as a kobold riding animal.

A dragon that lances the knight; what could be more fitting?