10 basic truths

[Taliesan]

1: Your first CD, will be one that your kids, if they ever find out about, will justly mock you for.

2: You will however take comfort in knowing that as bad as your first CD was, your elders' first CD (Or LP) was worse.

3: Yet this will not stop you mocking your child's first CD mercilessly. This is one of those moments that makes the sleepless nights trying to figure out what this alien screaming thing wants, worth it.

4: The first time you meet someone stupid you will pity them. The 317th time you meet that someone, you will wonder how they got to be your boss.

5: There will come a point at which you will face someone who doesn't like you.

6: There will come a point at which the person who doesn't like you is right.

7: Sometimes, doing nothing means the problem gets bored and moves on.

8: Other times, the problem gets some friends together and has a party while trashing your stuff.

9: There will come a time when you meet someone who is smarter, more moral and more attractive than you. You will comfort yourself by figuring they have a small penis. This works for girls too.

10: There will come a time when you meet someone to whom you are that someone who is smarter, more moral and attractive. Ain't it good to be alive?

[reorith]

anything that can be loved can be lost, broken, stolen, burned, dissolved, eaten or bombarded with positrons.
the best way to remove a blood stain from upholstery is by scrubbing it with grain alcohol and not asking any questions.
bear grylls is a fake.
les stroud is a fake.
the best part of surviving is living in the aftermath.
no matter what you believe, there is someone out there willing to ridicule it.
i just lost the game.
cats are nice.
outtrolling a troll can be done, but it takes finesse.
irl is superior to wow.

[BizzaroStormy]

1: Don't have kids, never will. My first CD was Metallica's "...And Justice for All" If by some miracle I do have kids, insulting metallica would result in castration, grounding, and a severe beating.

2: My mom's first music thing was a Pat Benatar tape. One that I actually enjoy listening to.

3: My child (if I have one) will be listening to metal before he/she even exits the womb. If they don't like it, I'll put them up for adoption and get a kid who does.

4: 70% of the people I meet are stupid. My first boss was actually one of the intelligent ones.

5: Slammed his head in a locker. 'Nuff said.

6: I still slammed his head in a locker. I'm not taking crap from an upperclassman.

7: Too true, however destroying the problem(s) is faster.

8: Never happened, and if I keep the booby trapped brownies around, it won't last long.

9: It's happened, I was happy to find out that he didn't even get that far after his girlfriend ran over his foot with a truck.

10: No, despite whatever pleasures exist, they are all, inevitably, temporary. Existance as a whole, sucks.

[Player_Zero]

1: Mudkipz. You liek them.
2: It's Goofy time.
3: A flight of dragons. I command it.
4: Team Rocket is blasting off again.
5: I am the man who will become the Pirate King.
6: INBOU.
7: Mufasa dies.
8: It's a trap.
9: Longcat is looooooooooong.
10: My pokemanz. I won't show you them.

[GrassyGnoll]

1. Truth is subjective
2. Binary works

[Dallas-Dakota]

1 Cookies own you.
2 in Soviet Russia, cookie eats YOU! /end Borat
3 Milk also owns you.
4 Both cookies and milk are delicious
5 My life is epic fail.
6 Radio Rivendell is the epic radio station.
7 You must listen to it or suffer a horrible fate. \
8 It's web-based so you can listen to it, now. Linky. (http://www.radiorivendell.com/)
9 When combined, Tolkien, Pratchett and Ghandi are undefeatable.
10 I'd like to see you try.

[sun_tzu]

1. Truth is subjective
2. Binary works

Great take on an old joke.:smallbiggrin:

[Krimm_Blackleaf]

1. No matter what you love, will always love no matter what, there will be someone who will willingly and blatantly trash it and do their best to make whom you will likely want to smash the skull of with a shovel.

2. I like Transformers and own a shovel.

3. The internet is two things. 1) A thriving community of information and communication and a general boon for all people and 2) A twisted cesspool of decrepit social decay that will destroy all that is one day.

4. Both things mentioned above are what make the internet awesome.

5. Certain things are always a constant, to the point of repetition.

6. Anything that can be lost, broken, stolen, burned, dissolved, eaten or bombarded with positrons will be.

7. If you truly, honestly hate something more than all the rest of the things you at all dislike put together, there will be someone who devotes their life to that thing and you will never hear the end of it.

8. http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y265/Nny2/IMG00002.jpg
9. There will be people that look at that picture and will be haunted by it forever. There are more people that will look at it and laugh at it every time they do.

10. Certain things are always a constant, to the point of repetition.

[PhallicWarrior]

1. Wherever you go, there will be people who judge you. Judge them only as far as "this person is a judgemental idiot," and move on.

2. Don't underestimate girls. They don't have "weak points" like we do.

3. Just because the guy weighs 110 lbs soaking wet doesn't mean he can't kill you.

4. Life is short. Have fun with it.

5. Stupid people will get in your way. Don't hate them, pity them.

6. When in doubt, use the Konami Code. (30 lives solves everything.)

7. The guy highest up has the best view, but the lower people can see everything he does, too. Go easy on our leaders; contrary to what you think, you probably wouldn't do much better.

8. If you don't know what the future holds (like most of us.) take advantage of the little opportunities. Make small talk with that cute girl/guy before you lose them.

9. Wealth may buy popularity, but poverty has to sell it away.

10. If your S.O. is insulted, stand up for them, don't sit around doing nothing. (or worse, add to the insults.)

[Telonius]

1. Murphy's Law: anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
2. Sturgeon's Law: 90% of everything is crud.
3. The Peter Principle: in a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
4. You are responsible for your rose.
5. Love is a choice, not a feeling.
6. When you get down to it, all songs are love songs.
7. A person who hasn't changed his opinions in a year is a person who hasn't learned anything in a year.
8. Everything you do, you do by choice. Whether you're aware of the choice is another matter.
9. Truth comes when we're ready for it.
10.

[Gygaxphobia]

By the time I was old enough to know that my father was right, I had a son who thought I was wrong.

[sun_tzu]

2. Don't underestimate girls. They don't have "weak points" like we do.

Er, I could be wrong, but I don't think this is quite correct.
(My sister disagreed with it, at least.)

[rubakhin]

1. You, and everyone you have ever loved, are going to die. The same thing, more likely than not, applies to everything you have ever seen, known, or cared about, even though it may take billions of years. There is nothing you can do about this.

2. People, even people you care about, are going to suffer terribly. There is very little you can do about this, too.

3. The world is not divided into black and white.

4. Whatever television may have taught you, not everyone has a Freudian excuse for the sins that they commit. Heartlessness, apathy, casual cruelty, and everything else you can name often exists simply for its own sake and many instances of it cannot be reasoned with.

5. You can't do everything you want to, no matter how hard you work at it or how hard you try. Even now it's too late for many things, even before you were born some things were closed off to you forever.

6. You cannot know and understand everything.

7. Especially, you cannot know and understand everything about anyone else (and probably even yourself). No matter how much they've shared with you about their hearts, their pasts, their minds, we all have our own private ocean, and it's far, far deeper than you may think. We are all ignorant and we are all concealers.

8. The world is impossibly crueler than any one human has the capacity to imagine, more fragile, more hostile, more indifferent. It is also impossibly, incomparably, unfathomably more beautiful.

9. For many people, even most people, it is impossible to live happily without compassion.

10. Even God does not change the past.

[The Extinguisher]

-9.81 m/s^2. Get used to it

Only one you ever need.

[Edan]

I think that only these two exist.

1) You will die.
2) You will pay taxes.

[Silence]

1. Life sucks. Get over it.

2. Life is unfair. Get over it.

3. Life throws a lot of curveballs. Get over it.

4. Your life is no worse than someone else's. Get over it.

5. Life will be happy sometimes. Get over it.

6. People don't change. Get over it.

7. Work hard now and it'll pay off in the long run. Get over it.

8. There are four main feelings in the human array. Happy, sad, scared, and bored. The last one is the most prevalent. Get over it.

9. At sometime in your life, someone will take your ego and snap it in half. Prepare. Also, get over it.

10. 70% of people need to shut the f*** up 90% of the time. Get over it.

[Gygaxphobia]

This thread is starting to go a bit nihilistic and (dare I say it?) emo...

[Innis Cabal]

I think that only these two exist.

1) You will die.
2) You will pay taxes.

quoted for truth.

[Collin152]

You've all forgotten:
X) All items on this list are true.

[Player_Zero]

1. Life sucks. Get over it.
4. Your life is no worse than someone else's. Get over it.
6. People don't change. Get over it.


*1. Life only sucks if you make it suck.
*4. There is always someone worse off than you.
*6. People can change.

Fix'd for you.

Also,


2. People, even people you care about, are going to suffer terribly. There is very little you can do about this, too.
5. You can't do everything you want to, no matter how hard you work at it or how hard you try. Even now it's too late for many things, even before you were born some things were closed off to you forever.

*2. People, even people you care about, are going to suffer. There is sometimes little you can do about this. Does that mean it's okay not to try?
*5. There is nothing you can't do. But will you?


Anti-nihilism police: We save the world with the power of song. :smalltongue:

[rubakhin]

*2. People, even people you care about, are going to suffer. There is sometimes little you can do about this. Does that mean it's okay not to try?
*5. There is nothing you can't do. But will you?


Anti-nihilism police: We save the world with the power of song. :smalltongue:

I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth. And who is a nihilist? I am not a nihilist. I'm the kind of humanist that you don't see much outside of Dostoevsky novels, which is about as far from nihilistic as you can get. Krasota spasyot mir, and all that. I don't think you will find anyone with more faith in mankind.

To me, to be good, and everything like that, it is necessary to be all those things while not forgetting or turning away from these truths.

[CrazedGoblin]

*1. Life only sucks if you make it suck.
*4. There is always someone worse off than you.
*6. People can change.

Fix'd for you.

Also,

*2. People, even people you care about, are going to suffer. There is sometimes little you can do about this. Does that mean it's okay not to try?
*5. There is nothing you can't do. But will you?


Anti-nihilism police: We save the world with the power of song. :smalltongue:


well said :smallbiggrin:

[Silence]

*1. Life only sucks if you make it suck.
*4. There is always someone worse off than you.
*6. People can change.


#1 Humans have a tendency to make life suck.
#4 That's what I said.....
#6 Rarely so. They change their behaviors, but their very core self, no.

[Copacetic]

1. Chances are, when you die, you won't see it coming.


2. Nothing is immortal. Anything and Everything comes to an end.


3. People are horrible, twisted, putrid cess-pools of cruelty.


4. People are also amazing, inventive, genuises.


5. The truth is which fiction you believe.


6. The World doesn't make sense. Roll with it.


7. THe most important thing you will need to learn in life is spontaneity.


8. Correct Spelling ALWAYS. COUNTS.


9.Never dance in the rain. You will get struck by lightening.


10. Disney lied to you. The Bad Guy is more horrible than you can possible imagine.

[Collin152]

10. Disney lied to you. The Bad Guy is more horrible than you can possible imagine.

You clearly do not understand the depth of my imagination.

[Player_Zero]

Nothing is immortal. Anything and Everything comes to an end.


What about The Highlander? He was immortal.

Also,

#1 Humans have a tendency to make life suck.
#4 That's what I said.....
#6 Rarely so. They change their behaviors, but their very core self, no.
No they don't. They tend to make it better. What did you have for breakfast? Did you grind the wheat yourself? :smallconfused:
My comment was slightly different, in that it's meaning denotes that you won't ever be in a situation so dire as someone else's whereas yours could just as easily mean that you could.
People do change. Just because you haven't witnessed it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.


I predict an...
http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/6711/arguemnetuj1.jpg
...:smalltongue:

[Copacetic]

You clearly do not understand the depth of my imagination.

No. More evil than even that.



What about The Highlander? He was immortal.


He was also fictional, so it's a moot point.

[Player_Zero]

He was also fictional, so it's a moot point.

Yeah, but so are you! At least The Highlander entertained me with his heroic deeds. And he had that cool long sword dealie, too.

[Copacetic]

Yeah, but so are you! At least The Highlander entertained me with his heroic deeds. And he had that cool long sword dealie, too.

Must...resist.....Crude Joke about Herioc deeds and long swords......


*headasplode*


Also, I'm not fictional. I'm crazy! :smallwink:

[Purple Cloak]

1- No matter what you do somone won't like it :smallannoyed:
2- Younger siblings beleve it is their sacred duty to annoy you :smallmad:
3- I have no problem with humanity, I LIKE humanity, it's people I hate.
4- I consider it my duty to confuse everyone I meet at least once
5- BUTTONS!
6- Their is no 6
7- If life sucks get a vacum cleaner and suck back
8- Antidisestablishmentarianism is not THAT hard to spell
9- The Cake is a lie
10- I'm in ur Covern, Burnin' ur Witches :smallamused:

[Collin152]

No. More evil than even that.


You vastly underestimate me.
Murder, rape, arson, rape...
Thats nothing next to the constructs of my mind.

[Purple Cloak]

You vastly underestimate me.
Murder, rape, arson, rape...
Thats nothing next to the constructs of my mind.

Hey Collin how about this for evil Devouring the flesh of children after boiling them in a stew pan for exactly 23 minites at 46 degress with a sprig of mint, add vegitables to suite personal tastes. :smallamused:

Yes I have freaked people out with that one before. :smallbiggrin:

Disclamer: Any Veiws and opinions expressed in this reply are not officaly condoned By P.Cloak inc.

[Silence]

Hey Collin how about this for evil Devouring the flesh of children after boiling them in a stew pan for exactly 23 minites at 46 degress with a sprig of mint, add vegitables to suite personal tastes. :smallamused:

That's nothing. Nothing at all. The rules of the playground prohibit anyone from going into real detail.

[Jae]

1. What you feel only matters to you, it's what you do to the people that love you that really counts. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=IJB_Ccoh-Ro)

2. Your life is impacted most by the smallest events, decision, and people. I SWEAR it's true...think about the most important people in your life, or the people who have impacted you the most, and how you met them. It's scary that with the smallest choice, your entire life as it is now could be completely different... :smallconfused:

3. Words can't ever be taken back. My mother used to tell me that I had to watch what I said because I have quite the temper and people dont forget hurtful words. I did not believe her, but she was very right.

4. People complicate things. We were born with the ability to solve problems, and the inability to realize when we're causing them.

5. If you feel like you're let down all the time, you probably expect way too much of the world. Expect nothing, plan nothing perfectly, and you're almost always pleasantly suprised

6. Not everyone is out to get you.

7. But some people really are.

8. Risks are life, both good and bad. You HAVE to take them..you just aren't living until it's on the edge. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=Zp__g0bahfQ)

9. Nothing worth it comes easy. Cliche, but true.

10. You will only ever be human (http://youtube.com/watch?v=9Pk_Yhd8wLc) in all that the word means.

[Purple Cloak]

That's nothing. Nothing at all. The rules of the playground prohibit anyone from going into real detail.

Yeah, thats why I didn't, or are you saying that I did?

[Collin152]

Hey Collin how about this for evil Devouring the flesh of children after boiling them in a stew pan for exactly 23 minites at 46 degress with a sprig of mint, add vegitables to suite personal tastes. :smallamused:


Personally, I'd have used Thyme.

[droyer]

Hey Collin how about this for evil Devouring the flesh of children after boiling them in a stew pan for exactly 23 minites at 46 degress with a sprig of mint, add vegitables to suite personal tastes. :smallamused:



Oh please! Is that your worst?

[Purple Cloak]

No but my worst would get me banned so you'll have to settle with somthing I freaked some squeemish people out with. :smalltongue:

[Renrik]

1. I think, therefor I am
2. Even in a society that claims to value individuality, those who think outside the box ofsocietalperception fo reality are labelled as insane.
3. Time travel is possible. I am currently moving at 60 seconds per minute.
4. A society that claims to be tolerant is going to end up being hypocritical, no matter how effective and good their tolerance is.
5. There is a multiplicity of truth.
6. Existence is circular, because it has to be.
7. The reason everything happens is because one or more other things caused it to happen.
8. Scientific models are models, not absolute truth.
9. Randomness and chance are not possible. there is only a a failure to perceive all factors acting simultaneously.
10. Reality is the perception of existence

[ForzaFiori]

1) Do unto others as they would do unto you. Its been said in a thousand ways by thousands of people, and has yet to stop being true.

2) Dreams are simply realities that haven't come true yet.

3) Until you get to the future, you don't know whats gonna be there.

4) The only permanent things are death and the fact that change will take place.

5) There is no black or white in anything, only shades of grey. Like Yin and Yang, nothing is entirely at an extreme.

6) As a night goes on, conversations will veer towards religion and philosophy, even between teenage males who started out talking about the hot girl at school.

7) In an infinite amount of time and space, anything will happen.

8) There will always be someone who believes different than you.

9) The only way to insure that those who agree with you have the right to speak is to support the right to speak of those that don't agree with you.

10) You cannot exceed the speed of light. Don't ask why.

[Collin152]

10) You cannot exceed the speed of light. Don't ask why.

So we'll increse the speed of light.

[Player_Zero]

You can travel from point A to point B faster than the speed of light assuming you slingshot around a rotating blackhole and lose enough mass to escape its pull, technically.

[chiasaur11]

So we'll increse the speed of light.

Or, we could decrease it to below a speed we've already reached, therefore making FTL travel possible.

Also, the guy who said the "bad guy" is worse than you can imagine?

You're wrong. Someone has to be able to imagine as bad or worse, or those atrocities couldn't be commited. Unless the "bad guy" created 4chan, in which case, we're doomed.

[Renegade Paladin]

1.) There are few problems that cannot be solved with brute force. However, brute force often creates its own problems, which then must be solved.

2.) Brute force is rarely the best option.

3.) Might does not make right. Corollary: Weakness does not make wrong.

4.) The truth often hurts. This does not make it wrong.

5.) Only through knowledge may we gain improvement; if you do not know the nature of your problems, you cannot solve them. Corollary: Being truthful to others does them a service, even if they do not appreciate it at the time.

6.) Pride comes before the fall. Corollary: Keep your ego in check; falling sucks.

7.) Power is the ability to effect change. Great power means great ability to affect those around you, for good or ill. Corollary: Responsibility comes with the exercise of power; you are responsible for whatever change you cause.

8.) Because power by its nature affects people apart from the one wielding it, those affected will wish for a check upon the wielder, whether he apparently needs one or not. Corollary 1: Exercise power carefully and with the good of others in mind; if you do not, it will come back to you. Corollary 2: Those with power always require a check upon it. Yes, even then.

9.) Right doesn't need a reason. Corollary: Champion the right and the good because it's the right thing to do; virtue is its own reward. The gratitude it sometimes brings isn't half bad either.

10.) Love is the ultimate expression of the right and the good. Corollary: If you are motivated by love of your fellow man, you will rarely go wrong.

(Author's note: English doesn't really have the proper words for this; "love" covers too many different concepts. I use it here in the sense of caritas, charity and selfless love, where most modern English speakers would interpret it as eros, which is not what I mean.)

[Purple Cloak]

2.) Brute force is rarely the best option.


True buts its often the easist and most fun one. :smallwink:

[NinjaHippy]

1) You never, ever have a monopoly on the truth

2) Neither does anyone else

3) Honesty is the best policy. Especially with your self. Lying to others hurts them; lying to yourself hurts you.

4) Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you expect the worst, it's what you'll see. Likewise, if you expect the best, chances are you'll find it.

5) If you have to fail, fail with style

6) ?????

7) Profit

8) Everything is shades of gray

9) You do not talk about Fight Club

10) I only have 9 of these

[ForzaFiori]

You can travel from point A to point B faster than the speed of light assuming you slingshot around a rotating blackhole and lose enough mass to escape its pull, technically.

to do that though, you'd have to have a negative mass. Top speed is inversely related to mass (IE, the less mass, the higher top speed, and vice-versa). Light, having no mass (or at least, the closest to no mass we have found that), has the highest top speed possible. Since not even light, with no mass, can escape a black hole, you must have a negative mass to escape it. Which should be impossible, but probably isn't.

[LightWraith]

I like the Wizard's Rules (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wizard%27s_Rule) myself.

They've always struck me as strangely accurate.

[Renegade Paladin]

True buts its often the easist and most fun one. :smallwink:
Until it creates more problems. Like vengeful relatives. :smalltongue:

[reorith]

Hey Collin how about this for evil Devouring the flesh of children after boiling them in a stew pan for exactly 23 minites at 46 degress with a sprig of mint, add vegitables to suite personal tastes. :smallamused:

Yes I have freaked people out with that one before. :smallbiggrin:

Disclamer: Any Veiws and opinions expressed in this reply are not officaly condoned By P.Cloak inc.

lol is that the best you can come up with?

[Gygaxphobia]

Back to the OP, and one I discovered today:

Girls - bleaching your moustache never works.

[Telonius]

Hey Collin how about this for evil Devouring the flesh of children after boiling them in a stew pan for exactly 23 minites at 46 degress with a sprig of mint, add vegitables to suite personal tastes. :smallamused:

Yes I have freaked people out with that one before. :smallbiggrin:

Horrifying! You use mint instead of coriander?

[Vuzzmop]

1: Your elders will tell you that violence solves nothing.
2: Your elders also lied about Santa Claus.
3: If it is explosive, it will be made more so.
4: One man's belief system is another man's joke; get over it.
5: That "A" you got in year nine maths? Fluke.
6: iRiver t30s will never be outdated.
7: Your iPod already is.
8: Any reasonable argument given by you can and will at somepoint be explained away with "your mother".
9: And it will never cease to be hilarious, to them at least.
10: If there is a movie fight scene on Youtube, some git has put his own music over it.

[RandomNPC]

1: Do unto others yada yada

2: If someone repeatedly does unto you otherwise, it must be what they want you to do unto them.

3: Upon having somebody do unto them as they have done repeatedly, they will be confused as to thier poor treatment.

4: If stuck in a horrible situation, laugh. It may not fix anything, but laughing and smiling releases chemicals in your brain that make you happier. When happy you think things out quicker, and problem solve better.

5: If you find the three rules of robotics applies to you, kuddos on never needing to bring harm into the world.

6: Your word is your bond, in a world like this one you must get everything conttractual in writing, but if you don't intend it, don't say it. (atleast in america you can be tried for intent and whatnot by verbally admitting you want to do something)

7: Never give up your ideals. Once you cross that line you can never go back.

8: A lie repeated often enough becomes truth. (i've got a guy at work who keeps insisting everyones out to get him, guess what? everyone's getting annoyed at him.)

9: without reason, do not conform.