View Full Version : The Gingerbread Golem

2008-07-10, 01:58 AM
Anyone else break into laughter when they read the article?

So, anyway. Anyone here ever read DM of the Rings? Alright, so we borrow the DMing style from DMotR, which is depriving your players of loot and xp enough so that they are like rewards to them. Next? Toss in a gingerbread golem.

Fighter: GET HIM!
Wizard: Disintegrate! Scorching Ray! Cone of Cold!
Gingerbread Golem: Cast, cast, cast as much as you can, you can't kill me, I'm the gingerbread man!
Rogue: Noooo! Our pretty little chunk of xp is running off!
Cleric: Dammit! We were foiled by a guy who doesn't even have fingers!
DM: *Laughs his ass off*

Just think of the possibilities...
I got one! You know how it says some evil bards make tiny assassin gingerbread golems?

Evil Recurring Villain: Behold the Ninjabread Man!

2008-07-10, 05:16 PM
:amused: That's hilarious!

2008-07-10, 10:48 PM
Yeah, when I was looking over the articles, I saw the title and thought, "Is he serious?" Quite funny indeed.

By the way, the dagger should be glamered to resemble a cookie, just to confuse people.

Evil DM Mark3
2008-07-21, 09:21 AM
I have not only read this, but used it. I infact used it as the assassin of an evil bard as suggested (the bard was a black widower, he charms and marries rich aristocratic women and then sets his gingerbread men on him). In an added twist, they found out that the gingerbread golems where not the bard's invention but the prototypes of a mad pastry mage (I was turing down the grimness for a while) who later unleashed a Triffle Golem, a Pastry Golem and (much much later after they went epic and I decided to get silly again) a fruit cake collosus.

2008-07-21, 11:19 AM
That works until the gingerbread man comes to a river and meets a fox.

2008-07-29, 06:51 PM
If you want the serial-killing, insane variant of the Gingerbredman, read Jasper Ffordes "The fourth Bear".

2008-07-29, 07:37 PM
Burlew forgot a couple of things from the classic tale!

-The Gingerbreadman's weakness to water.
-The Gingerbreadman's weak will (remember how he was tricked by the fox)?

2008-07-30, 11:54 AM
Who cares? It's still hilarious.

2008-07-30, 01:03 PM
Who cares? It's still hilarious.Bah, not all that of a riot.

2008-07-31, 01:13 AM
Bah, not all that of a riot.

Perhaps not, but Ninjabreadman is pretty freakin' funny.

2008-08-02, 09:54 AM
Perhaps not, but Ninjabreadman is pretty freakin' funny.
Snack and sneak in one!:smallbiggrin:

2008-08-02, 06:53 PM
Snack and sneak in one!:smallbiggrin:

A snacking sneaker? :smalltongue: