Funniest Question You've Ever Heard

[TigerHunter]

"Do hamsters like tortilla chips?"

[Silence]

"Excuse me sir, but why the f*** did you just do that?"

[BizzaroStormy]

"Why is there a walrus, and why is my couch covered in ranch dressing?"

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

"Excuse me, but what time does the 9:00 showing of Aliens start? :smallconfused:

[Leper_Kahn]

"Does the toilet use salt water or fresh water."
-On a cruise boat with salt water pools on board

[Pinnacle]

Fast food cashier.

Her: Would you like a drink?
Me: Yes, a Pepsi please.
Her: What size?
Me: Medium, please.
Her: *Exasperated sigh* A medium what, sir?

[Krade]

*Working in a Blockbuster*

"Do you have The Da Vinci Code?"

Me- "It comes out next week... in THEATRES!"

"Do you know when it will out on DVD?"

Me- "Sometime after it's NOT in theatres anymore."

"Oh... when will that be?"
------------------------------

I think you get the point. I've actually had several conversations like this with quite a wide variety of movies. I even had people telling me that they were absolutely positive Shrek the Third was out on DVD already despite the fact that it was still in theatres, and NOT the cheapo dollar theatres that get movies like a year late. They were, in fact, quite wrong. The problem is that they are so wrong that they think there is no way they could possibly be wrong.

[Glyphic]

there Are Different Kinds Of Toast!?

[Lupy]

"Excuse me Sir, is there any reason your oboe is leaking pudding?" :smallbiggrin:

[thubby]

"where's my cellphone?!"
mind you, i was holding the phone, talking to her on it.

[SoD]

"So, you're from Australia?"
"Yeah."
"Which part?"
"Tasmania. It's the little island down the bottom."
"Oh."
Breif pause.
"Do you really have Tasmanian Devils there?"
"Yeah."
Breif pause.
"Do they really spin?"
"...spin."
"Yeah. I mean, like, do they get into your backyard and spin round making a mess of everything?"
"...no. My feral kangaroo scares them off. If they come in, it pounces on them and eats them."

This happened about half a dozen times while I was away.

[Purple Cloak]

This happened recently

Him - "What on earth are you wearing"
Me - "What does it look like?"
Him - "Bodyarmor"
Me - "Exactly"

Short pause

Him - "WHY are you wearing body armor?"
Me - "Its easyer than carrying it"

Another pause

Him - "Why do you even have any body armor"
Me - "Its a stab proof vest, why WOULDN'T I have it?"
Him - "Your realy paranoid"

I'm not joking about this either I actualy went into Games workshop in a Kevlar Vest, admitidly its part of an outfit i'm making and wearing is easyer than carrying, but peoples reaction were funny.

[Serpentine]

Heh. You gotta admit, though, Tassie Devil is pretty awesome :smallwink: Hell, the animals themselves are, even if they don't spin. You know what you could counter that with? "Do your bears go around stealing picanic baskets in a smart hat?"

Girl in my class: "Who's Einstein? ...Is he dead?"

[Purple Cloak]

Oh i've thought of another one.

Somone in my college class: "Is wales a country?"

Sometime I wonder how these people got into college as half of them are like that.

[SilentNight]

Another one that's more sad than funny


What's the difference between metal shop and wood shop?

[Pinnacle]

This isn't so much a funny question as a funny answer.

The professor had asked a question about what city a certain program started in. Nobody knew the answer. Then, this exchange:

Prof: OK, a hint: It starts with "C" and is in the middle of the United States.
Various students: Chicago?
One student, several seconds later, shouting: China!

[Midnight Son]

Preface: In my Geography class in high school, we'd study a section of the world and each take a country and do up an oral report to give in front of the class. For each report, the teacher had us find it on a map(for which he had a big flip chart of various world maps at the front of the room).

So we're doing reports on countries in the South Pacific and the student has some minor country in the region. She flips the maps for a while, then stops on the map of North America.

"Is it on this one?"

[rubakhin]

"Chechnya? Is that near Iqaluit?"

Also, once, in a science class my friend was attending, they were learning about the rising sea level. One girl asked, "Why can't they just dive underwater and saw the off the tops of the continents so that they float?"

[KBF]

"Why are you wearing all black, and a jacket, in 100 degree weather?"

I hate that question.

[Purple Cloak]

KBF, I get a simalar question, i'm sometimes asked what i'm hiding under my trenchcoat as if i'm hideing a shotgun or a katana or something. :smallannoyed:

[KBF]

We can wear what we want, dangit. Stop lecturing me.

Me: "I'm actually home-schooled."
Person: "Cool. What school?"

I remember this one kinda vaguely.

[Phase]

"Is the past tense of climb: clomb?"

[Vella_Malachite]

"Can we domesticate the buffalo?"
-My dad during a DnD campaign.

More sad than funny:

"Are zebras carnivores?"
-Girl in my Year 7 Geography class.:smalleek:

[Serpentine]

Oh oh oh! Just remembered one. I once tried to explain to a guy who worked in a pizza place why plants are not animals >.< He had some issues with vegetarians o.O

[Pyrian]

At Jamba Juice they're trained to ask customers their names and to try to remember the names of regulars. This led to the memorable question once asked of me:

"Can I have your name, please, Michael?"
"...Um, Bob." :smalltongue:

[DrowVampyre]

In my high school geography class: "What's the difference between Kansas and Arkansas?"

Of course, that's the same class where the teacher counted me wrong on a test for calling the Arctic Circle the Arctic Circle instead of the North Pole...

[_Zoot_]

One of Mine would be

"How do you spell MCG?"..... Um......

[Dihan]

"How long do we put these Rice Crispies cakes in the oven for?"

[TheCountAlucard]

"How can you butter the toast when we only have margerine?

[Tom_Violence]

"Who won World War 2?"
"Does power steering drive the car for you?"

Christ that girl was thick. Ugly too. Some people just have no luck I guess.


"Why are you wearing all black, and a jacket, in 100 degree weather?"

I hate that question.

That seems like a fair question to me. I mean, isn't it just really hot? :smallconfused:

[Jack Squat]

"Is the past tense of climb: clomb?"

clomb (klōm)
v. Archaic
A past tense and a past participle of climb.


Also, according to one entry in dictionary.com, it's still used in Eastern Virginia.

[RandomLunatic]

Customers are always good for these.


On several occassions:
Customer: Excuse me, do you work here?
Me (Wearing company uniform, and near or behind counter): No, I get off on wearing a [company] uniform and hanging out near [company] stores.

In one instance, I actually did say that to a customer, which prompted this follow-up:

Customer: You enjoy saying that to all the customers, don't you?
Me: No, just the ones that ask the blindingly stupid questions.

Look, it had been One of Those Days, alright?

Setup: The coffee machine had malfunctioned, so I was cleaning and fixing it.

Customer: I would like some coffee.
Me: I am sorry, I do not have any right now.
Customer: Medium.
Me: The machine is broken, I do not have any coffee.
Customer: Can I get cream and sugar?
Me: What part of 'There is no coffee' do you not understand?



In school, I was giving a report on the Bismark for my 10th grade histoy class. After citing its mass (~50 Ktons), I was blindsided by this gem:

Classmate: Why don't they sink?

You would expect, by 10th grade, he would have heard of displacement.

[Castaras]

GCSE Art lesson.

Friend nudges me. "What colours make Green?"

Not really funny, just so so sad...

Hmm... There's others, but they're probably not at all forum friendly. =P

[Krimm_Blackleaf]

"Who wrote 'Shakespear'?"

[Lupy]

Okay, my year book reminded me of another one.

4th grade, a quiz given to ten year olds:

What town do you live in?

What State?

What Country?

What Continent?

What Planet?

What Galaxy (hint: It is a candy bar.)

My favorite answers:

(I censored out the town for my privacy.)

Burlington.
The south.
North Carolina.
The United States of Jamacia
England.
Georgia or Texas?
Hershy Pensylvania?

Please note that this boy was ten and completely serious.

[BizzaroStormy]

Okay, my year book reminded me of another one.

4th grade, a quiz given to ten year olds:

What town do you live in?

What State?

What Country?

What Continent?

What Planet?

What Galaxy (hint: It is a candy bar.)

My favorite answers:

(I censored out the town for my privacy.)

Burlington.
The south.
North Carolina.
The United States of Jamacia
England.
Georgia or Texas?
Hershy Pensylvania?

Please note that this boy was ten and completely serious.

I can understand not knowing the continent or galaxym i might even let the planet slide but theres no way a 10-year-old could be that dense.

[Mx.Silver]

My 19 year-old cousin, on a day out to the Liverpool Museum:
"Were The Beetles the band who sang 'Hey Hey We're The Monkees'?"

[Leigh]

I apologize if anyone finds this inappropriate, and it's not really that bad. I found this thread, and thought it was the perfect place to tell what just happened to me a couple of days ago. Please let me know if you would like me to spoiler it.

Ten-year-old boy: "Is your mom a virgin?"
Yeah, he was serious.

[Cassady.]

"Are unicorns endangered or extinct?"

History:
"Why is it called the Civil War?"

[Phae Nymna]

Someone once texted to my cellphone,"Hai jude how do u spel constantinople its te bonus on te exam"

I replied, "Read your own message." :smallconfused:

[Griever]

Quick! What's the number for 911?

From The Little Rascals, those that don't know, and shame on you for not knowing. :smallsigh:

[Falconer]

Idiot from history class: Wait a second, its the twenty-first century? :smallconfused:

Me:You didn't know that?

Idiot from history class: (all snotty-like) Well... not all of us are as smart as you!

Me: Clearly. :smallamused:


Please note that this was in 2007

[Stormthorn]

Ten-year-old boy: "Is your mom a virgin?"

Tell him 'yes' and then claim to be the second (or first, depending upon beliefs) Coming.

I have one. I invite my firend into my home and get this in response "So, you live here?"
Yes, spoken as a qestion. My house is very mundane by the way.

[Collin152]

Tell him 'yes' and then claim to be the second (or first, depending upon beliefs) Coming.



Messianic prophecies!
Those are my domain!
I'll have you know, all our Comings are booked up until the 34th coming.

[Shraik]

"What's Beef?" Seventh grade some girl asked that
"How do you kill an Airplane?" Same girl

Me:Hey what time are we leaving?
Friend: The mall
Me:...Mall is a time now?

"You two aren't gonna beat with a *Reproductive organ* while I sleep are you?" Referring to these two pillows i Have in my basement. My friends said they looked like those.

And I remember this girl asking a kid if he liked girls once. I feel over laughing when she asked them that.

[Collin152]

"What's Beef?"

"Where's the beef?"

[Pinnacle]

Teacher: Uh, Jenny, why have you been staring at the ceiling for the last 15 minutes anyway?
Jenny: I give up, I can't find it. Where exactly is "gullible" written on the ceiling?


That was from a very intelligent girl in my high school class (ranked third in the class!)--when she took the time to think things out. She could be just a little gullible if she didn't.
Someone told her that it was written there several days earlier.

[reorith]

customer: is it possible to get a foot long sub as a six inch?
me:only if you can create a rift in space time and open up a dimension where 12=6.

[Collin152]

customer: is it possible to get a foot long sub as a six inch?


Me: I'd have to charge you full price.

[reorith]

Me: I'd have to charge you full price.

i demagnetized her credit card and made her pay cash. $16.83 in coins.

[captain_decadence]

"What was Hitler's last name?"

[Desidus]

funniest question I've ever heard... well, this may be slightly mean, but I was working at a hardware store and a customer walked up to me and this brief conversation resulted

Customer: "This says to only use 7 amp fuses. Does that mean I would be better using 6 amp or 8 amp fuses?"

Me: "Um... I think you should use 7 amp ones."

I couldn't make this up if I tried.

[Serpentine]

Someone once texted to my cellphone,"Hai jude how do u spel constantinople its te bonus on te exam"

I replied, "Read your own message." :smallconfused:Oh wow... That's... That's quite epic :smalleek:

[Reinboom]

One a... I can't recall who told me it, it was either a teacher or a friend.
In a sexual education class at a university the person was in, when discussing sperm:
Girl: "Then why does it taste so salty?"

Apparently, the girl, after realizing what she said, got up and left the class to never return to it.


Personally:
"What was I thinking about again?"

[GrassyGnoll]

From the same physics class spawned

"Wanna see my big n' nasty [equation]?"

"At what angle do I have to tip the ramp to make the block fall?"
"90"

In nerdiest voice possible, "Coitus?"

Some dumb chick in a Spanish class many moons ago.

"Wait, why does Spain have its own language"
Face palming and explanations
"I thought it was a city in Italy"
Pause
"What do Italians speak then?"

[Tom_Violence]

Said to me by an American, doing her bit for foreign opinion of the US:

"You're from Scotland? Is that in London?"

I wish that was a joke.

[Purple Cloak]

Teacher: Uh, Jenny, why have you been staring at the ceiling for the last 15 minutes anyway?
Jenny: I give up, I can't find it. Where exactly is "gullible" written on the ceiling?


That was from a very intelligent girl in my high school class (ranked third in the class!)--when she took the time to think things out. She could be just a little gullible if she didn't.
Someone told her that it was written there several days earlier.

Heh, I once told someone that gullable had been removed from the dictonary and they belved me too. :smalltongue:

[Tom_Violence]

Heh, I once told someone that gullable had been removed from the dictonary and they belved me too. :smalltongue:

Me too. Admittedly we were both about 6 at the time so I'm not actually sure either of us knew what it meant then.

[Charity]

I get stupid ass Q's every day.

These Q's all come from qualified electricians...

What is that funny hat symbol on my multimeter? - he means this Ω..
What does the K mean?
How big is a 4mm plugin?
What colour is your yellow77?
Do your high vis waistcoats have sleeves?

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

I believe I told this tale before, but it's always good to share with the new kids on the Playground. And since this thread is focused on just about any silly thing you've ever heard someone say...

Cute little red head in seventh grade was reading her essay - the same essay we all had to write, which was about ourselves. I admit that I had a bit of a crush on her, right up until she made the claim, "I'm four foot, twelve inches tall." [/crush] :smalltongue:

Ah...and an actual question that was asked! My friends and I were sitting about, discussing a salmonella breakout almost 20 years ago. One of my buddy's girlfriend - surely not the brightest bulb on the tree - was trying to follow along, but was clearly baffled by what we were saying. In frustration, she finally blurted out, "Who's Sal Monella?!?" It took us ten minutes to explain through our laughter that it wasn't a person. :smallbiggrin:

[Charity]

And here was me thinking it was a female of the Salmonidae family.

[Pinnacle]

Said to me by an American, doing her bit for foreign opinion of the US:

"You're from Scotland? Is that in London?"

I wish that was a joke.

"Michigan? I've never heard of that. Is it a city?"

Said to me by a Canadian.
Now, I admit, Michigan is only a state and not a country. I can forgive people outside the US (or even in the US if they're far away) for not being totally knowledgeable about US states.
But we were less than an hour away from the border, she should have at least recognized the name when I said it (plus her two friends looked extremely embarrassed and tried to move her away from me).

[KingGolem]

One morning, when I was in high school, I was attending a meeting for Beta Club. When we got there, an attendance sheet was passed around for us to sign to show that we had been there, and when it was passed to one girl for her to sign, she said "What's a sign name?" :smallbiggrin:
Seriously, honor students are supposed to know that sort of thing.

[Arioch]

"What town is London in?"

Today, when we were at Kew Botanical Gardens, my mum asked me "What is the evolution house about?"
Me: "Evolution"
Her: "Yes, yes, but the evolution of what?"
Me: "Plants"

[Tom_Violence]

For some reason, and I hope no one holds this against me, but this thread has compelled me to look up this (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/2055968.stm). Apologies in advance.

[Burley]

This is just one of the gems that came from a very stupid guy I once met:
"If nobody's perfect, how can somebody be a perfect stranger?"
Syntactically, he had a point. However, common sense dictates that he should have been born a sea cucumber.

[Silence]

Ok, here's the setup. We were in the middle of a class (Religion) talking about the 10 plagues. We came to the plague of locusts.

"Wait.... don't locusts suck you blood?"

Nobody else laughed, but I couldn't contain myself.

[Leigh]

I was talking to my 13yearold friend the other day, and we were talking about places around the world that we'd been outside of the US, so I steered him over to a world map. After staring at it for a few seconds, he says, "WHOA, Canada's above us?!"
After bursting into laughter, I say, "Where did you think it was?"
And he replies, "Below us, next to Mexico..."
More laughter. :smallbiggrin:
And just yesterday, I was talking to another one of my friends who is coincidentally very good friends with the boy mentioned above. I was in the midst of saying, "Yeah, I've lived in the US nearly my whole life - "
And she said "Wait, I thought you lived in Oregon before you came here...?"
Me: "....I did...."
Ah, my friends are geographically challenged :smalltongue:

[Cristo Meyers]

Not so much funny as head-slappingly stupid, but I got a kick out of it.

I worked in a music/movie store for a while when we were getting back on our feet. One evening, someone asked me "Do you have Happy Feet on DVD?"

You're probably thinking "What's stupid about that?"

I would reply: This was during that time before a movie comes out in theatres when every five seconds (three for a movie like Happy Feet) you see a commercial that invariably ends with "Opening XX"

And she was asking if we had it on DVD

[Athaniar]

My favorite from the net has to be this:

Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.

(From Here (http://www.rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml). Man, that site is hilarious. Because it's all real.)


Speaking from personal experience, a girl in my grade actually believed Great Britain was the capital of London. And that is only one example.

[Jade_Tarem]

From high school freshman history class, when the teacher showed us a musket ball, one girl asked:

"How can it hurt you? It doesn't have a pointy end."

When I worked at the movie theater, I got a bunch of dumb questions - especially whe I was at the podium, taking tickets. It's like people assume that the podium has magical powers (it has a bucket that you drop tickets in - that's it). But my all-time favorite of all the dumb questions I was asked, was this one:

"Excuse me sir, but can you tell us the fastest way to our car from here?"
"Where is your car?"
"We don't know."

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Ages ago, while driving my girlfriend of the time home after a date, we were stopped at a red light. Because she'd been quiet most of the ride, I said, "Well, you seem rather pensive."

Her response: "No, I'm just thinking."

:smallconfused:

[Catch]

On a cruise ship:

"Does the ship generate its own power?"
"Does the crew sleep on board?"
"Does the ship get cable?"

[reorith]

Ages ago, while driving my girlfriend of the time home after a date, we were stopped at a red light. Because she'd been quiet most of the ride, I said, "Well, you seem rather pensive."

Her response: "No, I'm just thinking."

:smallconfused:

i lol'd so hard i fell off my bar stool.

[Silence]

My favorite from the net has to be this:

Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.

(From Here (http://www.rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml). Man, that site is hilarious. Because it's all real.)


Speaking from personal experience, a girl in my grade actually believed Great Britain was the capital of London. And that is only one example.

That link is great.

[Pinnacle]

From high school freshman history class, when the teacher showed us a musket ball, one girl asked:

"How can it hurt you? It doesn't have a pointy end."

Did anybody punch her or hit her with a hammer?

[Arioch]

Did anybody punch her or hit her with a hammer?

How would it hurt her? Fists and hammers don't have pointy ends.

[Silence]

Give me her home address and I will.

[Jade_Tarem]

Did anybody punch her or hit her with a hammer?

No, but I believe she was sent to the physics teachers to get her answer. I think poor Mrs. Ormond (the physics teacher) died a little that day.

[Silence]

I would have loved to be in that class.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

My favorite from the net has to be this:

Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.

(From Here (http://www.rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml). Man, that site is hilarious. Because it's all real.)


Speaking from personal experience, a girl in my grade actually believed Great Britain was the capital of London. And that is only one example.
Sorry, LX. The winner of that link is:

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

:smallbiggrin:

[Silence]

Sorry, LX. The winner of that link is:

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

:smallbiggrin:

Agreed. That's the one that I sent to my dad. Personal favorite.

[happyturtle]

They are begging for people to do overtime. I told my boss I wasn't sure I would have time, but I would take some work home just in case. I took 4 hours worth of work home and only completed 2 hours of it. When I came into the office today, I sent her an email to let her know how much I had left over. So she emails back to ask:

"Why is there work left over?"

Um, because I didn't DO it? Okay, maybe not the funniest question I've ever heard, but it was the funniest one I heard today. I think she really expected me to give her a run down of my entire weekend to see if what I really spent my time on was more important than overtime. And yes, to me spending a few hours on the forums and another couple of hours having a long nap was very much more important.

[sktarq]

History:
"Why is it called the Civil War?"

I was asked to tutor a girl in history class when I was in Uni. She was 20 by this point and one uped your misfit I'm afraid.
"Who did America fight in the Civil War?"
and later on doing deeper review I had to deal with "How did Columbus sail the Atlantic Ocean if America hadn't broken away from England yet?".
*sigh*

[evisiron]

In A-level biology when discussing yeast: "So...Is bread alive then?"

Not a question, but: "Hey, they spelled haemogoblin wrong!"

[SoD]

Heh, I once told someone that gullable had been removed from the dictonary and they belved me too. :smalltongue:

Ah, we all know people like that. My Creative Writing teacher, Mr. Burdick told our South African JW that they took gullible out of the dictionary. The next day, T'gan triumphantly announces: "Hah! He was wrong! It's still in there."

[Logalmier]

"Why doesn't somebody get a cow and dress it up as a potato?"

[Pinnacle]

"Why doesn't somebody get a cow and dress it up as a potato?"

Please tell me the context makes it better.


Although I'm not sure how...

[de-trick]

me and my friends were walking from the corner store and are school in my small town, some car stops and asks us if there is a Quiznos here, the sader part about this is that the street we we're walking on was like the last before you hit the country. I could of thrown my slushie, except I just bought it

then today I was sitting on the other side of the library and another car asked where was the library, I pointed it out and they started to blush

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Got to be this one.

It was on TV a while ago. It was Canada Day, and I think it was Colbert asking Americans about Canada.
He asked one woman "How many states does Canada have?"
She answered "I dunno, about #" (I can't remember, I was tiny."
Her little boy tugs on her dress and says "Mommy, Canada doesn't have states, it has provinces."

[Lance_Murdock]

A friend told me about a question a work friend was asked. The question not funny but the answer is.
q: Do you work here?
a: No, I just stole one of the work uniforms.
The man who asked the question then went and told the manager and he got in deep trouble.

[Philistine]

Variations on a theme:
At my sister's wedding reception, a family friend of the groom asked me whether I was the father of the bride.

One day at the office, several years ago, a co-worker asked me my age. When I answered, she followed up with, "What, is that all?" I had to show her my driver's license to prove it.

I was babysitting two of my cousins at a family gathering many years ago, while my aunt was in the other room introducing her new fiancee around. A late arrival saw me watching the kids and asked me if I was the new fiancee.

Moral of the Story:
I must really look like Hell, because people keep thinking I'm anywhere from ten to thirty years older than my actual age.

[Dragonrider]

This is all in one day!

Person 1: "I just saw you and your mom walking down the sidewalk and thought you were sisters!'

a few hours later....

Person 2: (walks up to me) "Hi, are you [my mom's name]?"

and ten minutes after that, I was sitting with my 4-year-old brother on my lap. Someone walked up to me and introduced themselves. Then,

Person 3: "So this must be your son. How old is he?"

:smalleek:

Moral:

a) Mom looks younger than she is.
b) I look older than I am.
c) We look a lot alike (though I don't see it at all).

[Collin152]

Your momma is a Youth Vampire.

[Agamid]

We get asked these a lot at medieval shows...

"Is that a real fire?"

and

"Is that a real baby?"

[The Orange Zergling]

I guess it isn't a question, but it's funny. A student of his asked my grandfather this during a carpentry class.

"Mr. [name], I cut it twice and it's still too short."

[Klose_the_Sith]

"Why did you throw a carrot at me, and where did you get that spoon?"~Friend at a Ruggerball game

[Ossian]

Well, not the funniest, but it created quite a feedback...
Small talking with friends from some countries (UK, Italy and Poland) at a party, nearing the natural end (softer music, chit chatting, sofas and beers)

So I go "Uhmmm...and what is the signature weapon of Poland's national hero?" like it is the most natural thing to ask (to be true, we were arguing on Robin Hood). And the UK guy "I think this is the first time this question is asked in the history of mankind..."

:)

[Castaras]

"What's Roast Potatoes?"

"What's 5+6?"

Both from supposedly intelligent people.

[Quincunx]

"What's the word for 'I forgot'?"

Legitimate question to ask while translating, but man, did I sound dumb asking it.

[Chronicled]

One a... I can't recall who told me it, it was either a teacher or a friend.
In a sexual education class at a university the person was in, when discussing sperm:
Girl: "Then why does it taste so salty?"

Apparently, the girl, after realizing what she said, got up and left the class to never return to it.

Easily the funniest thing I've read in this thread.

[WalkingTarget]

Easily the funniest thing I've read in this thread.

It's also a story that's been circulating (http://www.snopes.com/college/risque/salty.asp) on the internet for at least 15 years.

[Ilena]

One a... I can't recall who told me it, it was either a teacher or a friend.
In a sexual education class at a university the person was in, when discussing sperm:
Girl: "Then why does it taste so salty?"

Apparently, the girl, after realizing what she said, got up and left the class to never return to it.


omg, that is funny :P im only half way through this thread but had to post on that 1 :P

[Ranna]

"What's Roast Potatoes?"

"What's 5+6?"

Both from supposedly intelligent people.

My boyfriend also had an issue with Roast Potatos, it goes something like this..

Me: "i'll make roast potatos tonight, that cool?"
Him: "But I didn't tihnk we had any in the freezer?"
Me: "You can make them you know"
Him: *Utter wonderment in his eyes* - "How? I thought you had to buy them from Aunt Bessie's."

[Purple Cloak]

My boyfriend also had an issue with Roast Potatos, it goes something like this..

Me: "i'll make roast potatos tonight, that cool?"
Him: "But I didn't tihnk we had any in the freezer?"
Me: "You can make them you know"
Him: *Utter wonderment in his eyes* - "How? I thought you had to buy them from Aunt Bessie's."

That reminds me of the "Do we have a preheated oven?" question

[r23r5]

Got to be this one.

It was on TV a while ago. It was Canada Day, and I think it was Colbert asking Americans about Canada.
He asked one woman "How many states does Canada have?"
She answered "I dunno, about #" (I can't remember, I was tiny."
Her little boy tugs on her dress and says "Mommy, Canada doesn't have states, it has provinces."

Sorry if this is a little late, but that was Mercer. I watch that special(talking to Americans) every year even if it's always the same.

[Tom_Violence]

My boyfriend also had an issue with Roast Potatos, it goes something like this..

Me: "i'll make roast potatos tonight, that cool?"
Him: "But I didn't tihnk we had any in the freezer?"
Me: "You can make them you know"
Him: *Utter wonderment in his eyes* - "How? I thought you had to buy them from Aunt Bessie's."

Please tell me that's a joke. Oh dear lord, that's a bad one.

[Pinnacle]

Not a stupid question, but a stupid answer. This one my fault. :smallsigh:
High school physics class, the teacher just wrote an equation on the board containing a Greek letter, I believe it was phi.

Other student: Wait, what's phi?
Me: It's a Greek letter.
Other student:... What's phi representing in this particular equation?
Me: Oh, right..

[Destro_Yersul]

Customers can be so thick sometimes. I once had one ask this:

"Do you have ice cream here?"

You'll note that, at the time, I worked at a Dairy Queen.

The next time someone asked that I was ready, and this was my answer:

"No, but we do have frozen sarcasm."

[GoC]

"Who wrote 'Shakespear'?"

Not actually a stupid question (just poorly phrased) given the debate over whether Marlowe or Shakespeare wrote those plays.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Well, not the funniest, but it created quite a feedback...
Small talking with friends from some countries (UK, Italy and Poland) at a party, nearing the natural end (softer music, chit chatting, sofas and beers)

So I go "Uhmmm...and what is the signature weapon of Poland's national hero?" like it is the most natural thing to ask (to be true, we were arguing on Robin Hood). And the UK guy "I think this is the first time this question is asked in the history of mankind..."

:)

That would probably be Good King Wenceslas, and he just had a sword. There's a statue of him somewhere, on a stereotypically rearing horse. He was most likely the best thing ever to happen to Poland, and the worst. I'm pretty certain he was the era of Poland's explosive expansion, which ended with them pissing off all of their neighbours. Bad idea for a small, relatively weak, young nation.

[Lupy]

At an orange grove my class pressed orange juice once in 5th grade:

Girl, having done it herself,: "Is this all natural?"
----
"Did you know that popcorn and corn on the cob are the same plant?" *in amezment*
----
*while looking at a rectangualr wall map of the world* "Funny, who knew that greenland was as big as America"
----
*I have a nosebleed* "Is that real blood!?!"
----
"What's the capital of Washinton D.C."
----
"If people speak english in Italy, where do they speak Italian?" ((After I said my italian friend learned english there))

[Iudex Fatarum]

Someone once texted to my cellphone,"Hai jude how do u spel constantinople its te bonus on te exam"

I replied, "Read your own message." :smallconfused:

My answer would be much more mean, B-Y-Z-A-N-T-I-U-M

Probably the strangest one said to me was "Wait, isn't that incest?"
This was referring to my younger brother. (let me point out that when I said he was my cousin I was referring to before my parents adopted him)

"How would you know if your eyes were made of corn?" (we were way too tired that day)

Not a question but inspired one,
History prof "Who's Aeschylus?"
My thoughts were "You have got to be kidding me"
Later that semester:
History prof: "Then the Persians burned down the Parthenon."
me: "Wasn't the parthenon built as a result of the persian invasion, and isn't it still standing today?"
prof: "No"
me: :smalleek: um ....
Somehow my history prof thought that the parthenon was built before the persian invasion of athens (sad part is, near eastern ancient history prof who happens to be chair of the department)

[Pyrian]

"Did you know that popcorn and corn on the cob are the same plant?" *in amezment*
Eh, not really. The subspecies which pops is not generally eaten off the cob, and the many subspecies which are eaten off the cob mostly don't pop. :smallcool:

[CrazedGoblin]

At an orange grove my class pressed orange juice once in 5th grade:

Girl, having done it herself,: "Is this all natural?"
----
"Did you know that popcorn and corn on the cob are the same plant?" *in amezment*
----
*while looking at a rectangualr wall map of the world* "Funny, who knew that greenland was as big as America"
----
*I have a nosebleed* "Is that real blood!?!"
----
"What's the capital of Washinton D.C."
----
"If people speak english in Italy, where do they speak Italian?" ((After I said my italian friend learned english there))


brilliant stuff :smallbiggrin:

[evisiron]

"How much is this?"
-Mother in a Dollar Store, literally surrounded by posters with "EVERYTHING $1"

[TFT]

Alright, I'll share my retarded question with you guys. Granted, I can be really absent minded at times, but...

So its dinner, and I am grabbing a drink in the kitchen. I decided I needed some ice, so I go back into the dining room and ask where the ice is.

[Zeb The Troll]

My personal favorite...

I was helping set up the course for Pikes Peak Hill Climb (http://www.ppihc.com/) several years ago when, while I was taking a break, I was chatting with an out of town spectator who'd gotten there early in order to get a good seat near the finish line at the top asked "So, at what altitude do the deer become elk?"

[Tom_Violence]

My answer would be much more mean, B-Y-Z-A-N-T-I-U-M

Nah, should've just gone with 'Constantinople' and seen if you could've got a sing-a-long going. :smalltongue:

[Serpentine]

You mean "I-S-T-A-N-B-U-L"? Cuz that'd be awesome.

[Midnight Son]

My personal favorite...

I was helping set up the course for Pikes Peak Hill Climb (http://www.ppihc.com/) several years ago when, while I was taking a break, I was chatting with an out of town spectator who'd gotten there early in order to get a good seat near the finish line at the top asked "So, at what altitude do the deer become elk?"In a similar vein:

Heard on the cruise ship docks in Juneau, AK as the tourists were disembarking.

Tourist: What altitude are we at?
Tour guide(looking over the edge of the dock): Hmmmm, I'd say about 20'

[potatocubed]

This was asked of a friend of mine just the other day:

"Do you knit as a reaction to feminism?"

:smallconfused:

[Zarrexaij]

"Is a scapegoat really a goat?"
Only if you lived a few thousand years ago. Or so. :smallsigh:

This was in a discussion about Animal Farm in my AP Senior English class. Specifically, a discussion about Snowball, a PIG, who was the scapegoat. YES. HE IS A PIG. AND A GOAT. AT THE SAME TIME. :smallamused:

This is coming from the person who somehow managed to end up being ranked third in the class. How, I'm not sure. :smallmad: She was amazingly stupid.

[Murska]

Well, one of my friends was on one of our first english classes. I had been on the internets for years before that and therefore was quite skilled in English already, but the others weren't really accustomed to it. Well, the teacher starts teaching us some basics and then later on he asks one of my friends: "What's your name?" Well, this friend doesn't understand, and stutters a bit, at which point another friend yells: "Hey ****, what's your name?" in finnish. Everyone burst out laughing.

(Friend's name censored for no reason, really, since none of you know him and never will.)

[Conrad Poohs]

(Friend's name censored for no reason, really, since none of you know him and never will.)
Never underestimate the powers of the Poohs.

My question anecdote is from an English class too, but in an English-speaking country. It was a yr 11 class I think, and somebody sincerely asked the teacher "What's a noun?".

[Zeb The Troll]

Never underestimate the powers of the Poohs.

My question anecdote is from an English class too, but in an English-speaking country. It was a yr 11 class I think, and somebody sincerely asked the teacher "What's a noun?".Heheh!

A person, place, or thing... (http://www.school-house-rock.com/sounds/noun.wav)

[rubakhin]

... My brother (a teenager) just asked me what the difference is between a ruble and a rupee.

[reorith]

"how long have you been biracial?"

yeah. this came a girl probably 15-16ish.

[Rockbird]

Lessee if i can translate this and still preserve the funny...
The english teacher of a friend of mine (Note: I'm swedish, but the teacher was from an english-speaking country originally i think):
Finns det en översättning av "Translation"?
Basically meaning:
Is there a translation for "översättning"?
As you may have guessed, översättning = translation... :smallsigh:

[Beholder1995]

'If you caught on fire, how would you react?'

[RandomNPC]

'If you caught on fire, how would you react?'

swimmingly.


working six years in a department store i had lots of people come up to me, turn away from a product to face me, and ask where that verry product was. everything from apples to noodles.

the setup:

junior high physical science, 8th grade. There was a refrence comparing what we were doing to sand being poured on gravel and falling in between the gravel.

well this girl stops the teacher, not raising a hand or anything, just talking louder than the teacher. so she says:

"Isn't the sand just going to pile up on top of the gravel?"

so the teacher gets a jar of sand and a box of rocks and makes her carry out the experiment. never before have i seen such amusement and amazement at once on the face of someone over the age of five.

[the quinn]

I was watching a movie with several friends, saw a girl buy an really expensive dress (or something)
Me: I don't under stand the need for clothes.

[Space-Is-Curved]

... My brother (a teenager) just asked me what the difference is between a ruble and a rupee.
Is it sad that I had to google both of these? I knew that they were both money and where they were from, but I forgot which was which.

[Tragic_Comedian]

Someone once asked me if H.P Lovecraft was an adult film star.

[shadowxknight]

My friend who has a legitimate chance of becoming a professional athlete:
"Does working out burn fat?"

[Griever]

Did you lose your keys before or after you drove home from work?

[Silence]

Did you lose your keys before or after you drove home from work?

Potentially, you could have taken a cab, public transport, or got a ride off a buddy.

[TigerHunter]

Potentially, you could have taken a cab, public transport, or got a ride off a buddy.
Key word: drove.

[EndlessWrath]

So a girl in my American history class perks up as we discuss the multitude of jobs for women and blacks during WWII as the majority of the White male workforce had gone to war. When we got to metal working she raised her hand
Teacher: "Yes?"
Girl: "So like... did people get like... metal pored on them?"
Teacher: " I would imagine so.."
Girl: "ok"
Teacher begins to continue... girls hand goes up again.
Teacher: "yes?"
Girl: "So like...if someone had metal pored on their arm...would they like have a metal arm? like that you could move and use for cool stuff and stylize?"
-_-
----------------
second unfortunate circumstance...
Girl: "So what's Romeo and Juliette about?"
Me: "Its a tragic play about 2 lovers and their families."
Girl: "yeah...so what's it about?"

[Silence]

Someday, I'm going to make a small, wooden sign that says "I'm stupid."

I'll carry them around in my backpack, so that I can actually say "Here's you sign."

[TigerHunter]

Someday, I'm going to make a small, wooden sign that says "I'm stupid."

I'll carry them around in my backpack, so that I can actually say "Here's you sign."
I'd rather carry around a ring with a switch that makes my cell phone ring, so I can answer it and say "It's your village. They want their idiot back."

[Mauve Shirt]

"Why does subtle have a B in it?" during my writing class Spring semester.

[EvilElitest]

i was walking in new york city and a women came up to me an asked me "excuse, are you by any chance Jesus". I said no, and she said "oh, ok then" and walked away. Very odd
from
EE

[Tragic_Comedian]

i was walking in new york city and a women came up to me an asked me "excuse, are you by any chance Jesus". I said no, and she said "oh, ok then" and walked away. Very odd
from
EE

I would have had to have found out more about that one.

[Indurain]

I was watching a movie with several friends, saw a girl buy an really expensive dress (or something)
Me: I don't under stand the need for clothes.

I don't either...it's okay.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Me neither.

*has awesome blue fur*

[Pinnacle]

i was walking in new york city and a women came up to me an asked me "excuse, are you by any chance Jesus". I said no, and she said "oh, ok then" and walked away. Very odd
from
EE

Her: Excuse me, are you Johnny Cash?
Me: What? No..
Her: Are you sure?

This was about two years ago (note that he died five years ago) and I was 19 (note that he would have been 76).
She was very excited to meet me.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Did you lose your keys before or after you drove home from work?

Ummm...Well, I forgot my keys before driving me and my friends to the movies once. Kind of annoying to leave a movie, approach the car, and then realize my car keys were five miles away, on my bed. :smallannoyed:


Someday, I'm going to make a small, wooden sign that says "I'm stupid."

I'll carry them around in my backpack, so that I can actually say "Here's you sign."

Thank you, Bil Engvall (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a46sf0r2Ww).

[Ilena]

Ummm...Well, I forgot my keys before driving me and my friends to the movies once. Kind of annoying to leave a movie, approach the car, and then realize my car keys were five miles away, on my bed. :smallannoyed:
.

how were you driving ....

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

how were you driving ....
Yeah, I knew that one would come up eventually.

My ignition was broken. I could start the car, then take my keys out. I needed to get back into my house and get something from my room, so I pulled the keys out of the ignition, unlocked the front door, went to my room, threw my keys on the bed as I usually do, got what I needed, and left, forgetting completely that my keys were now in my locked home and that I'd need them to get home later.

If I remember, it was my brother Stu who came to our rescue, rubbing in the fact that I was a bonehead. Hard to argue when you're calling home and begging someone to bring you, not spare car keys, but your ORIGINAL car keys. :smallredface:

To be sure, a valuable lesson was learned from that incident. From that moment, I had a spare set of plastic keys in my wallet at all times for as long as I owned a car. (And, yes, plastic keys for cars exist. Or did. I wouldn't know for sure. I haven't driven a vehicle in over eight years.)

[Pyro]

Not quite an question, but two years ago two of my friends got into an argument whether in the "Islamic" view of heaven the promised 40 virgins would rotate out to keep it fresh. One kept saying how the same 40 virgins get boring after an eternity while the other asserted virgins would never get boring, especially 40 of them.

Besides being based on a completely idiotic idea, I don't think either of them realized that 40 virgins wouldn't stay 40 virgins forever. :smallwink:

[Vampiric]

Did you also know that it's possible to translate that bit to say that they are promised 40 raisins, instead of virgins?

[Pinnacle]

Besides being based on a completely idiotic idea, I don't think either of them realized that 40 virgins wouldn't stay 40 virgins forever. :smallwink:

Well, they could.

It might defeat the purpose, though.

[Pyro]

Did you also know that it's possible to translate that bit to say that they are promised 40 raisins, instead of virgins?

Really? Hah now change all the virgins in my post to raisins for hilarity.

@^Break the mold and engage in intellectual conversation with them!

[Pinnacle]

But then it wouldn't matter whether or not they were virgins.

[Collin152]

But then it wouldn't matter whether or not they were virgins.

I thought virgins tasted better?

[Purple Cloak]

I thought virgins tasted better?

Would a less salty comment be inappropreate? :smallwink:

[Collin152]

All forms of heterosexual humor are innapropriate around me.

But yes, I think that would be pushing it too far.
...But I like salty things...

[Pyro]

Wait suddenly the innuendo is lost on me...I feel left out. :smallfrown:

[Purple Cloak]

Wait suddenly the innuendo is lost on me...I feel left out. :smallfrown:

Be glad about that. :smallwink:

[Pyro]

O wait...I just did...O god you sick sick people!:smalltongue:

[Purple Cloak]

O wait...I just did...O god you sick sick people!:smalltongue:

Hey, I was talking about eating people, I don't even want to know what your thinking! :smallwink:

[10:51]

Did you also know that it's possible to translate that bit to say that they are promised 40 raisins, instead of virgins?

This is a little off topic, and perhaps its just your avatar speaking to me, but how cool would be to have 40 vampires instead of the virgins - like, a little platoon of the undead at your disposal so you can start attacking various locations in the afterlife, and I know where you guys are going with the whole virgin thing, and I'm with you on that, but these can be all girl vampires here - vampires don't age, they self-regenerate...everything self-regenerates AND they could probably lift a car over their head and throw it at an orphanage, how cool would that be?

[karmuno]

In response to the OP:



This is a little off topic, and perhaps its just your avatar speaking to me, but how cool would be to have 40 vampires instead of the virgins - like, a little platoon of the undead at your disposal so you can start attacking various locations in the afterlife, and I know where you guys are going with the whole virgin thing, and I'm with you on that, but these can be all girl vampires here - vampires don't age, they self-regenerate...everything self-regenerates AND they could probably lift a car over their head and throw it at an orphanage, how cool would that be?

[Pyro]

@^Haha clever

@^^Answer: Very Cool

[EvilElitest]

I would have had to have found out more about that one.

i was afraid she'd shank me


Another weird one was


"excuse me, are you jewish"
"no actually"
"are you sure"
"Um, yes"
"very sure"
"Um, yeah, i'm defintly not Jewish"
"But what if your are"
"I"
"Yeah, think about it
from
EE

[Rigel Cyrosea]

One time, I was sitting around with some IRL friends, and I realized I'd never heard them pronounce 'Cyrosea', though they'd undoubtedly read it many times (as we all use this board). Know that the word could very easily be read differently than I intended, I decided to find out how they thought it was supposed to be pronounced. This lead to me asking: "Hey guys, how do you think Cyrosea is supposed to be pronounced?"

If you don't get it, ask the question aloud yourself.

(Incidentally, if anybody is curious, it's supposed to be ky-ro-see, not sy-ro-see or cryo-see)

[Syne]

"Can you bring your A kitbag home?"
This might seem incomprehensible, but I laughed like crazy. It's an IDF thing. Also, it was back in bootcamp. Everyone was somewhat addled then.

[alfredbester]

"Was that it?"

[rubakhin]

Okay, I can't be the only Muslim itp, however, I am probably the most pedantic one, so I will veer slightly off-topic in order to answer your questions.



Nota bene: Regarding modern Muslims and belief about the afterlife and virgins - it's taken about as seriously as Christians take the idea that after they die they'll be issued halos and golden harps. Somewhere there are two teenage boys arguing in Arabic about how Christians manage to stand on the clouds without falling through.

Hokay, first of all, the only concrete mentions we get about houris in the Holy Qu'ran are pretty vague. It's only said that Muslims of both genders get modest, faithful, adoring companions (so I like to think that we gay Muslims get ours, too). You also get to keep your earthly spouse if you want to, resurrected as a young virgin. By the way, all good Muslims get paradise and the swag therein, like all good Christians go to heaven. Not just martyrs. The martyrs do, however, get theirs immediately instead of waiting until Judgment Day when the rest of the dead souls rise up and go on to the afterlife.

(Sound familiar? It should. Christianity and Islam are very similar religions and the Qu'ran stresses that Muslims should consider those who follow Judeo-Christian religions to be People of the Book as well.)

Now, the rest of the body of knowledge about the houris comes from the hadith. These aren't straight from the horse's mouth ( ... I can't believe I just called Allah a horse :smallsigh:) but written at a later date by scholars. Authenticity and authority varies. Roughly speaking, the canonical hadith is to the Holy Qu'ran what the Apostle Paul's letters are to the Sermon on the Mount, everything else is at The Divine Comedy level at best.

The number 72 crops up every once in a while, I think the Sahih Muslim said we only get two, and somebody else said that in Paradise you have a constant erection and run around deflowering a hundred virgins a day. The general consensus is that, er, the virginity regenerates each time you sleep with her. (Ouch. Also, I guess it would be pretty pointless to have vampires in this situation: they already regenerate and would be eternally young, what more do you want?)

Also, in the hadith people keep describing the houris as transparent. As in, her marrow and blood and everything is visible, "her body looks like red wine in a clear glass." I, uh, I don't know about you, but I don't think I could get it up for that.

The Syro-Aramaic Reading of the Koran, written by some German guy not too long ago, is the only text that argues for the white grapes translation. I find this highly debatable considering that more than a thousand years of interpretation goes for the virgin thing, although there's some background for that considering that in Christian tradition Paradise is constantly being described as filled with white grapes. (Frankly, I'd rather have the grapes than a transparent bearded Muslim guy. Especially if my hot model boyfriend will be resurrected as a young virgin.)

[Pyro]

Thank you for that lecture? Hah no, it was seriously interesting, although a little confusing because I'm an incredibly non religious person and I had to look a few words up. :smallredface:

And hah transparents virgins. Sounds the like monster from a cheesy horror movie from the 50s.

[Pinnacle]

Oh, did you bring me a chocolate-flavored yummy-treat?


[E]verything else is at The Divine Comedy level at best.

Are you aware of how many people think that stuff comes from the Bible?

I kinda figured that most of the "common knowledge" was blatantly false. I'm surprised to learn that there's any basis, to be honest.

[Lyesmith]

Transparent virgins from mars attack!

I have one cakestealer from a close freind. She's very smart, but has these...Rhian moments, as we call them.

"What does hungarians mean?"

[Jade_Tarem]

Transparent virgins from mars attack!

I have one cakestealer from a close freind. She's very smart, but has these...Rhian moments, as we call them.

"What does hungarians mean?"

Reminds me of that joke, where the guy breaks down crying at the loss of three Brazillian troops, and then asks: "How many is a Brazillian?"

[Raewyn]

Reminds me of that joke, where the guy breaks down crying at the loss of three Brazillian troops, and then asks: "How many is a Brazillian?"

The version I've heard is with George Bush, but I guess any famous stupid person would suffice.

[Linkavitch]

My little sister seriously asked me:
"Do you know what number to dial to get 911?"
Not. Even. Kidding.

[Midnight Son]

I am not making this one up. I'd heard all the jokes, but there's no way anyone's that dense, right? I took a phone call at my old job, and was helping a 60 year old man get onto our website. So I tell him its w-w-w.(companyname).com.

His response:

"w-w-wpauseWhere's the dot key? I see Esc and Tab, and on the other side is Ins and Del, but I can't find Dot."

[Penguinsushi]

"Do you mean that literally, or a pickle?"

Believe it or not, that made perfect sense in context.

~PS

[Ilena]

I am not making this one up. I'd heard all the jokes, but there's no way anyone's that dense, right? I took a phone call at my old job, and was helping a 60 year old man get onto our website. So I tell him its w-w-w.(companyname).com.

His response:

"w-w-wpauseWhere's the dot key? I see Esc and Tab, and on the other side is Ins and Del, but I can't find Dot."

thats not so bad, hes 60 years old and probly his first computer, those customers are easy to deal with,as long as he can follow dirrections, its the ones that are so stupid you tell them to say press start bottom left hand corner and they are a few mins later .. what did you want me to press?, sigh so many stupid people out there who cant follow directions :S

[Quirinus_Obsidian]

Seven of Nine: "The attack appears to be originating from Subspace."
Harry Kim: "Can you tell where it's coming from?"

episode: 'Bride of Chaotica'. Kinda lame, but funny~ish