Schmungeons and Schmragons

[OneFamiliarFace]

So we all know by now that there isn't a role-playing edition alive that can solve the problem of problem players. That one, you have to do on your own!

Instead, I imagine they could just make a game that plays to their strengths. The classes would be something like:

-Minmaxer (PrC: Munchkin)
-Deliberately Unoptimized Roleplayer (PrC: The Ye Olde Englishe Speaker)
-PCKiller
-Thief
-Batman
-Rules Lawyer

And alignments would range from Chaotic Stupid to Chaotic Disruptive. The DMG would recommend railroading, TPKs, and solving out-of-game problems with in-game actions. I actually like my new RPG. I think I'll call it "Schmungeons and Schmragons."

Using the d20 system, I want some help crafting these classes. If they can be used with 3.5 or 4e, then all the better. It starts with going for your goals.

[Foxtale]

Well the entry for Rules Lawyer should be overly simple, using incredibly complicated language. Like, "If, when you roll a 20-sided polyhedron (referred to hereafter as a 'dice') during what you have previously stated to be an attack, the dice stops moving and comes to rest with a 1 (or a side previously determined to be its equivalent) facing uppermost, you may choose to reroll the dice and consider its previous result annulled. You may only choose to reroll the dice as per this power once per day (beginning after an extended rest [a period of time 8 in-game hours in length during which no strenuous actions are performed with no less than 16 in-game hours between each rest)].

Also, they could have an 'Escape Clause' ability. :P

And the Munchkin should have five million character building options.

[Zeta Kai]

And the Munchkin should have five million character building options.

But one should be obviously better than all the others combined.

EDIT: Here's a Rules Lawyer prestige class.