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View Full Version : Is there anything a kobold cant do ? (3.5 edition only)



Bayar
2008-07-20, 11:42 AM
Can someone find a single thing that a kobold cannot do in D&D? Post your chalenges and I'll try to overcome them. Just try to make chalenges that wont conflict with RAW in any way (like casting level 9 spells at level 2)

And no, Pun Pun wont be the answer to everything.

Adumbration
2008-07-20, 11:43 AM
They can't be a good strength-based fighter in comparison to most other races.

Or are you looking for specific challenges?

Bayar
2008-07-20, 11:52 AM
They can't be a good strength-based fighter in comparison to most other races.

Or are you looking for specific challenges?

Wow, this came out quick, didnt it ?

Well, take Earth Kobold from Unearthed arcana (-2 STR/-2 CON), complete the dragon rite of passage fro Races of the dragon (choosing Enlarge self), take 1 level of barbarian for the rage, get 4 levels of fighter (with the alternate class features from races of the dragon) for dodge, weapon focus for any spear weapon, +2 con and +2 str.

Now, at 1st level, you have 16 in strenght (18 stat -2 from racial). this nullifies with the fighter bonus (the con penalty is countered in the same way), +4 from rage, +2 from enlarge self and you have a kobold that is able to say "Who's the minion now, mother****er ?" to any party.

ufo
2008-07-20, 11:57 AM
Kobolds can't get a 9th level spell at level 2.


EDIT: @V Pun-Pun has no friends.

Bayar
2008-07-20, 11:59 AM
Kobolds can't get a 9th level spell at level 2.

Well...no one can. (yeah, and if someone found a method, shapechanging characters at level 2 would be banned)

Edit: Pun Pun became a god and granted himself spell levels at level 1.

Edit 2 @^ but he has a cult...

Pronounceable
2008-07-20, 01:19 PM
Kobolds can't jump...

The New Bruceski
2008-07-20, 01:31 PM
Make a shift immediately after being missed? Well, unless they were half-goblin.

Hmm, a half-goblin half-kobold would be NASTY to pin down on the battlefield...

Viruzzo
2008-07-20, 01:36 PM
Grow silky hair? Stand higher on an evolutionary scale than mammals?

Mark Hall
2008-07-20, 02:51 PM
Reach the top shelf without a stool?

monty
2008-07-20, 02:53 PM
Successfully utilize a non-cheesy character concept?

BizzaroStormy
2008-07-20, 02:57 PM
They can't prepare a delicious turkey dinner using only their feet.

Bayar
2008-07-20, 03:01 PM
Kobolds can't jump...

Kobolds have a 30 ft speed (unlike other small races) so they dont get a penalty nor a bonus. So, using that figher as a base character, take the Dragonwrought feat from Races of the Dragon. At level 3, grab the feat dragon wings from the same book. You get a +10 bonus to jump. Assuming you max out jump skill, you will have 8 ranks in jump at character level 5, a +4 STR bonus (and when raging and enlarged you will have +7). So, feel free to get Power attack at level 1 as a bonus feat via a flaw (unearthed arcana), and grab Leap attack at level 6.



Make a shift immediately after being missed?

A Venerable Dragonwrought Kobold Wizard with the Immediate magic (conjuration) alternate class feature gets Abrupt Jaunt as a spell-like ability that activates a number of times a day equal to your Intelligence bonus. And it is an immediate action to activate it. That means, you can shift immediately BEFORE being attacked.



Grow silky hair?

Oh the irony. Kobolds wear clothes made out of leather or silk. They get silk from underground spiders and worms. So, yeah...they can grow silky hair...in the form of wigs made out of silk.



Stand higher on an evolutionary scale than mammals?

They are kin to the dragons. How high on the evolutionary scale do you want to be, hairless ape ? :smallbiggrin:



Reach the top shelf without a stool?

Abberant blood + Inhuman reach from Lords of Madness. The kobold now has reach. Or Extended reach from Savage Species if you need to use feats elsewhere.



Successfully utilize a non-cheesy character concept?

Hmm...they can always go Aristocrat with Merchantile background and hire a party of adventurers to fight for them.



They can't prepare a delicious turkey dinner using only their feet.

I guess this is Skill Profession (cook). Start off with a class that has profession as a class skill. Factotum has all skills as class skills. Max ranks at level 1, get Able learner (profession (cook)) so that it will be always a class skill. Also, make sure you are a venerable dragonwrought kobold for stat synergy (18 wisdom at level 1 +3 from being venerable=21). Find other classes that synergise well with giving bonuses to stats (Marshall with minor aura - Motivate wisdom = lets you add your stat bonus twice) until you qualify for the Exemplar prestige class. That gives you more skill goodness. With skill focus (profession) and a masterwork profession (cook) tool (bag of spices), you would have a bonus of roughly 13(ranks)+12(WIS doubled add 1 point to WIS at level 4)+3(skill focus)+4(Exemplar-competence bonus) = 32. Add a +10 from a skill shard (1000 GP) and the ability to take 10 even when under stress from the Exemplar's skill mastery and you have a skill check result of 52.

Now, what is the DC for cooking a turkey with your feet again ? :smallbiggrin:

Mark Hall
2008-07-20, 03:06 PM
Abberant blood + Inhuman reach from Lords of Madness. The kobold now has reach. Or Extended reach from Savage Species if you need to use feats elsewhere.

At this point, I would argue it isn't really a kobold. It's based on a kobold, but it's gone pretty far from being a kobold at this point.

Andras
2008-07-20, 03:11 PM
Reach the top shelf without a stool?

Enlarge Person. :smallwink:

Bayar
2008-07-20, 03:24 PM
At this point, I would argue it isn't really a kobold. It's based on a kobold, but it's gone pretty far from being a kobold at this point.

Screw the rules, I'm a kobold.

F.L.
2008-07-20, 03:47 PM
I don't think you have enough money to screw the rules.

Tengu_temp
2008-07-20, 03:53 PM
Wizards in 3.x can do everything. Kobolds can be wizards. Therefore, kobolds can indeed do everything.

Oslecamo
2008-07-20, 03:53 PM
Be stronger than the PHB races, in core-only. Hmm, I supose splat-books are really broken.

Jayngfet
2008-07-20, 04:50 PM
Find out why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?

Beat Pun-Norris?

And A Kobold can transform into a Rakasha, which has higher level spells for free.

Cuddly
2008-07-20, 08:01 PM
Don't forget; when a kobold takes the dragonwrought feat, he qualifies for the epic feats. Which means he can spend a feat to get +1 strength.

Prophaniti
2008-07-20, 08:08 PM
Don't forget; when a kobold takes the dragonwrought feat, he qualifies for the epic feats. Which means he can spend a feat to get +1 strength.

?:smallconfused:? I don't think I've been introduced to that particular rules loop-hole, pray explain?

I did find it interesting, while reading through RotD, that a Dragonwrought kobold cannot take the PrC DragonHeart Mage, in the same supplement, because he no longer has the Dragonblood subtype. So, apparently, he's too much like a dragon to become more like a dragon... fun times. I always ignored that rule anyway, I like that build.

erikun
2008-07-20, 08:12 PM
Become a were-fox.

Viruzzo
2008-07-20, 08:20 PM
Gain the Barghest's devour level-up ability without polymorphing into one.

Wizards in 3.x can do everything. Kobolds can be wizards. Therefore, kobolds can indeed do everything.
In fact, they don't even need to be wizards with splatbooks around.

Cuddly
2008-07-20, 08:38 PM
?:smallconfused:? I don't think I've been introduced to that particular rules loop-hole, pray explain?

A true dragon is defined by having age categories (wyrmling, adult, great wyrm, etc). A dragonwrought kobold has these age categories. Ergo, a kobold with the dragonwrought feat is a true dragon, not just a dragon. Draconomicon allows dragons to take epic feats, so long as the qualify for them, pre-epic.

The best use of this, really, is picking up improved heighten spell for your gestalt shadowcraft mage (3 levels of stoneblessed to count as a gnome). I haven't figured out anything else too cheesy, save for getting to use underpowered fighter-type feats.

FoE
2008-07-20, 08:39 PM
Can a kobold eat its own head? (ie. skull, flesh, eyes and brains)

Pronounceable
2008-07-20, 08:49 PM
Can a kobold create a rock no kobold can lift?

Jayngfet
2008-07-20, 08:50 PM
Can a kobold eat its own head? (ie. skull, flesh, eyes and brains)

Clone (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/clone.htm), eat the clones head, or stab you'reself and eat the corpses head.

Bayar
2008-07-21, 01:37 AM
A true dragon is defined by having age categories (wyrmling, adult, great wyrm, etc). A dragonwrought kobold has these age categories. Ergo, a kobold with the dragonwrought feat is a true dragon, not just a dragon. Draconomicon allows dragons to take epic feats, so long as the qualify for them, pre-epic.

The best use of this, really, is picking up improved heighten spell for your gestalt shadowcraft mage (3 levels of stoneblessed to count as a gnome). I haven't figured out anything else too cheesy, save for getting to use underpowered fighter-type feats.

I know this trick. Just that I dont think it actually gives you hit dice to actually make you a great wyrm. It is all about you saying you are old enough. Thus, this trick wont be used.



I don't think you have enough money to screw the rules.

Have you heard about dragon hoards? Who do you think gave the dragon it's hoard in the first place ? Kobolds. Thus kobolds have enough money to screw the rules.



Wizards in 3.x can do everything. Kobolds can be wizards. Therefore, kobolds can indeed do everything.

Kobolds can do everything. Even if they are not wizards. They can be druids, or arhivists, or clerics, or artificiers.



Be stronger than the PHB races, in core-only. Hmm, I supose splat-books are really broken.

A mass army of kobolds, wielding greatswords. If allowed, wielding medium greatswords via monkey grip.




Find out why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?

Because a kobold cook baked them.



Beat Pun-Norris?

That is blasphemy against Chuck Norris. Thus, a Kobold should only give a call to Chuck, and he will come and beat the crap out of Pun Norris.

Tempest Fennac
2008-07-21, 01:46 AM
Can't Fox Women infect people in the same way that more common Lycanthropes can? If that's the case, it wouldn't be hard for a Kobold to become a Werefox, assming it was female. In regards to non-cheesy builds, would you class a Cloistered Cleric with the Kobold and Trickery Domains, and the Aprrentice feat granting Open Lock and Move Silently as class skills as cheesy? It would serve as a descent Divine Caster whle being able to to what Rogues do to a large degree (Trapfinding, along with Search and Disable Device as cass skills, are granted by the Kobold Domain).

Bayar
2008-07-21, 01:54 AM
Can a kobold create a rock no kobold can lift?

Kurtulmak can. He just gets a rock and writes with draconic runes on it: "The kobold that even thinks of lifting this rock will be transformed into a gnome for the rest of his pitiful life". And then he just places a strong magical aura on the rock.

purepolarpanzer
2008-07-21, 02:03 AM
Many of the above managed challenges and alot more in 4th Edition? Where you don't have all this brokeness and rules exploitation?

Charity
2008-07-21, 02:16 AM
Interest me...

Sebastian
2008-07-21, 03:41 AM
Kobolds can't whistle.


I mean, with no lips and all that.

Sebastian
2008-07-21, 03:43 AM
Clone (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/clone.htm), eat the clones head, or stab you'reself and eat the corpses head.

Or a old-school ring of regeneration and a guillotine. :)

GrassyGnoll
2008-07-21, 03:47 AM
Find out why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?

Bah, beat me to it.

Tell how many licks it takes to the center of a tootsie pop?

Hug with nuclear arms?

Have warm blood (in its veins)?

Give live birth?

Lick every part of its body?

Explain why Dragonborn have mammaries?

Oslecamo
2008-07-21, 07:15 AM
A mass army of kobolds, wielding greatswords. If allowed, wielding medium greatswords via monkey grip.



If numbers are allowed, then how can an army of warrior kobolds defeat an equal army of warrior orcs in melee core only and with both sides having the same equipment?

DigoDragon
2008-07-21, 07:17 AM
Kobolds can't whistle.
I mean, with no lips and all that.

OoOoOoOh, good one! :smallbiggrin: I suppose on the same token they can't kiss the same way "lipped" creatures could.



Can't Fox Women infect people in the same way that more common Lycanthropes can? If that's the case, it wouldn't be hard for a Kobold to become a Werefox, assming it was female.

Maybe... If we're using 2nd edition rules I think only female humans elves, and half-elves can become foxwomen.

Bayar
2008-07-21, 07:20 AM
If numbers are allowed, then how can an army of warrior kobolds defeat an equal army of warrior orcs in melee core only and with both sides having the same equipment?

Diplomancy.



Kobolds can't whistle.


I mean, with no lips and all that.

Epic perform (whistle) skill.



Many of the above managed challenges and alot more in 4th Edition? Where you don't have all this brokeness and rules exploitation?

No 4th edition :furious: (though they were made more kickass in 4th edition...)



Bah, beat me to it.

Tell how many licks it takes to the center of a tootsie pop?

Hug with nuclear arms?

Have warm blood (in its veins)?

Give live birth?

Lick every part of its body?

Explain why Dragonborn have mammaries?

1. Yes they can.
2. What ? :smallconfused:
3. Dragonwrought kobolds are considered dragons. Dragons are warm blooded.
4. Well...what would happen if the eff would not be laid? Yeh...probably...
5. Yes. They use their dexterity bonus to lick themselves everywhere.
6. Yes. They know this from Bahamut himself. Because they were originally not reptilian, so they keep their features. Only scalier. (yeah, scaly boobs)

Telonius
2008-07-21, 10:22 AM
A kobold can't beat entropy.
A kobold can't hide its lyin' eyes.
A kobold can't get next to you, babe, can't get next to you.
There are seven words a kobold can't say on TV.
A kobold can't buy me love.

monty
2008-07-21, 12:00 PM
That is blasphemy against Chuck Norris. Thus, a Kobold should only give a call to Chuck, and he will come and beat the crap out of Pun Norris.

Bah. When Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets angry, he turns into Pun-Pun.

When Pun-Pun gets angry...he turns into Solid Snake.

Vexxation
2008-07-21, 12:16 PM
When Pun-Pun gets angry...he alters reality to a degree that makes his anger go away.

Fix'd.

But on the topic of Kobolds, anyone have a linky to that kobold paladin build that apparently owns? I've heard about it but never seen it.

Ascension
2008-07-21, 12:35 PM
Do they know who wrote the book of love?

Wraithy
2008-07-21, 02:23 PM
Get rid of THOSE BLASTED GNOMES!

Talya
2008-07-21, 11:34 PM
Sing worth a damn.

I know this for a fact. No matter how many ranks of perform you gave to Deekin, he still sounded awful.

I hate Deekin.

Chronicled
2008-07-21, 11:37 PM
I hate Deekin.

:frown:

Deekin was the best part of the NWN game he was in! Well, the first one anyways; I didn't play any after that.

mikeejimbo
2008-07-22, 12:45 AM
Be taken seriously.

Paragon Badger
2008-07-22, 01:01 AM
:frown:

Deekin was the best part of the NWN game he was in! Well, the first one anyways; I didn't play any after that.

Grovel was way better. :smalltongue:

And........ Kobolds can't have three-dimensional personalities.

ArmorArmadillo
2008-07-22, 02:04 AM
Successfully utilize a non-cheesy character concept?

Au contraire my dear monty-sun.

Despite their bevy of penalties, Kobolds do benefit from Small size, a +1 Natural AC, and a +2 to Dex. That's a 3 extra AC right off the bat. Combine that with Swordsage, which allows you to focus on Wisdom and Dexterity, and without breaking or abusing any concepts you have a competent, high-AC melee character.

Aquillion
2008-07-22, 05:34 AM
Not be a kobold. A kobold can't not be a kobold.

DigoDragon
2008-07-22, 06:56 AM
Not be a kobold. A kobold can't not be a kobold.

Ah-ha! A Double Negative! Which is proof positive that... of... okay, gotta stop watching Clue late at night. Um, I'll stick to the kobold whistling part.

Deekin was alright. If I could change his class to something more useful to me like a rogue then I was happy to keep him around. :smallsmile:

The Demented One
2008-07-22, 02:19 PM
A kobold can't beat entropy.
Magic blatantly defies entropy, so a Kobold caster can. Where is your second law of thermodynamics now?


A kobold can't hide its lyin' eyes.
It could...I dunno, gouge them out or something.


A kobold can't get next to you, babe, can't get next to you.
5-ft. step.


There are seven words a kobold can't say on TV.
It could say them...in Draconic!


A kobold can't buy me love.
Elixer of love, 150 gp.

However, a kobold can never, ever do anything to make it more outright bizarre than a platypus is.

Siosilvar
2008-07-22, 02:23 PM
However, a kobold can never, ever do anything to make it more outright bizarre than a platypus is.

Kobold warshaper (I think) - platypus WITH TENTACLES/GIGANTICALLY LONG ARMS.

_Puppetmaster_
2008-07-22, 03:17 PM
Not be a kobold. A kobold can't not be a kobold.

The Elf feat (see Ecology of the Adventurer) lets them be elves.


:smalltongue:

mikeejimbo
2008-07-22, 03:22 PM
The Elf feat (see Ecology of the Adventurer) lets them be elves.


:smalltongue:

But then it's not a kobold, and therefore breaks the basic rule that a kobold has to do it.

_Puppetmaster_
2008-07-23, 11:12 AM
But then it's not a kobold, and therefore breaks the basic rule that a kobold has to do it.

A kobold did do it. It's just that he's an elf.

Doresain
2008-07-23, 03:46 PM
A kobold did do it. It's just that he's an elf.

and thus not a kobold

Swordguy
2008-07-23, 03:51 PM
Can a kobold keep a mod from moving this thread to Silly Message Board Games?

Ganurath
2008-07-23, 03:54 PM
He was a kobold at the time he took the feat, and therefore was a kobold at the time he was not a kobold.

Here's something that a kobold can't do that other races can: Impregnate a human while in its natural form.

mikeejimbo
2008-07-23, 06:06 PM
He was a kobold at the time he took the feat, and therefore was a kobold at the time he was not a kobold.

Here's something that a kobold can't do that other races can: Impregnate a human while in its natural form.

But I maintain he was a kobold who turned into an elf.

And a kobold doctor who works in a fertility clinic could easily impregnate a human woman. :smalltongue:

Deepblue706
2008-07-23, 06:57 PM
Kobolds can't freely choose three feats at level one, without flaws (nobody who cares about balance uses them anyway).

Aquillion
2008-07-23, 07:05 PM
Can a kobold keep a mod from moving this thread to Silly Message Board Games?They could be a wizard, cast Dominate Person on Rich until he fails his save, then have him tell the mods not to!

JackMage666
2008-07-23, 07:16 PM
Kobolds can't have a thread dedicated to them without someone mentioning Tucker's Kobolds AND/OR Pun-Pun within the first 5 replies.

marjan
2008-07-23, 07:17 PM
Here's something that a kobold can't do that other races can: Impregnate a human while in its natural form.

Is there a rule that says this, or are you just trying to use logic in D&D?

Conners
2008-07-23, 08:14 PM
Kobolds can't.... sing? Dance? Err... do the makarina?

Here's one: Kobolds can't have fourteen limbs.

Another: Kobolds can't have two heads.

Also: Kobolds can't convince Kurtalmak to make peace with Gnarl Glittergold.

Collin152
2008-07-23, 08:19 PM
Kobold can't not get Mindraped by me, one of these days, sooner or later.

To remove double negatives...
Kobold can't avoid getting Mindraped by me, one of these days, sooner or later.

Logalmier
2008-07-23, 09:34 PM
Travel through space and time in a "Star Trek" spaceship.

mikeejimbo
2008-07-23, 11:09 PM
Travel through space and time in a "Star Trek" spaceship.

Travel through space and time in a 1950's London police box.

Collin152
2008-07-23, 11:23 PM
Travel through space and time in a 1950's London police box.

Technically, simply by existing within a 1950's London police box, one travels through space and time.

mikeejimbo
2008-07-24, 12:04 AM
Technically, simply by existing within a 1950's London police box, one travels through space and time.

Well if we want to get technical about it, simply moving does that. :smalltongue:

(And even if you're not moving, you're still hurtling forward in time. Well, maybe. You're at least perceiving yourself moving in time. Cthulhu may beg to differ.)

Collin152
2008-07-24, 12:11 AM
Don't have to move. Earth beneath yo' feet is a'movin.

You have to be inside the police box to be travelin' through timespace in a police box, though.

mikeejimbo
2008-07-24, 12:20 AM
Don't have to move. Earth beneath yo' feet is a'movin.

I did say "Even if you weren't moving" which would imply not being on Earth in that case. :smalltongue:

Jade_Tarem
2008-07-24, 12:36 AM
A kobold, even with the powers of the twelve dragon-gods of the hellfires of really scary places, cannot feel true love. And that is why they're so angry all the time.

Now you know.

Edit: Oh yeah, they also can't put up a decent fight in Baldur's Gate II.

ericgrau
2008-07-24, 12:47 AM
A kobold can't beat two similar kobolds in a fight.

Ascension
2008-07-24, 12:49 AM
A kobold can't beat two similar kobolds in a fight.

I dunno, if he's a wizard and he has the drop on the other two I bet he could do it.

Jade_Tarem
2008-07-24, 12:53 AM
I dunno, if he's a wizard and he has the drop on the other two I bet he could do it.

Epic Magic: Anything is possible!

Yes, even if the other two kobolds also have epic magic. Specific example: Kobold 1 begins researching the epic spell "Kill Kobold 2 and Kobold 3." The other two, unaware that Kobold 1 is up to no good, or else unaware that he is formulating that spell, are unable to prepare a defense as Kobold 1's spell strikes them dead from across the planes.

Bayar
2008-07-24, 04:10 AM
It could say them...in Draconic!

Wow...that was going to be my answer :biggrin:

Malimar
2010-10-17, 12:52 AM
I did find it interesting, while reading through RotD, that a Dragonwrought kobold cannot take the PrC DragonHeart Mage, in the same supplement, because he no longer has the Dragonblood subtype. So, apparently, he's too much like a dragon to become more like a dragon... fun times. I always ignored that rule anyway, I like that build.

You were right to ignore that "rule", because the RAW agrees with you. In the introduction to RotD, it gives details about the Dragonblood subtype. It says there:


Dragons automatically qualify for any classes, prestige classes, racial substitution levels, feats, powers, or spells that require the dragonblood subtype.

averagejoe
2010-10-17, 12:25 PM
The Mod They Call Me: Thread necromancy. Locked.