Driving problems.

[Tempest Fennac]

Over the last few months, I've been having driving lessons (I wanted to get my licence before I started at university), and I recently swapped instructors (my previous one thought I'd get on better with a car with automatic transmision, but he never got back to me with the contact details for someone who he supposedly knows who gives lessons in that sort of car). My new instructor thinks that there's a chance that I'll never become compitant enough to pass the test due to not being able to relax when I'm driving and because I'm still making some mistakes with steering and using the clutch. He also thinks that using a car with automatic transmission would fail to solve the other problems.

I've had about 19 2 hour lessons so far and I don't want to quit due to how much time and money I'll have wasted. Does anyone have any ideas for how to improve my driving? (I really want to be able to do it so that I'm not relying on other people and public transport to get about when I've fiished at university.)

[BatGrrl]

My new instructor thinks that there's a chance that I'll never become compitant enough to pass the test due to not being able to relax when I'm driving and because I'm still making some mistakes with steering and using the clutch. He also thinks that using a car with automatic transmission would fail to solve the other problems.


Well, if your issue if with nerves and not the actual mechanics of driving, unfortunately I can't think of too much that could help. Before you drive, after sitting down and adjusting all your mirrors, etc, just close your eyes for a bit and breath. Let yourself get it all worked out before your start the ignition.

Automatic is a lot easier as well, so especially if clutch issues are helping with your worries, I would think that could help.

[Tom_Violence]

Why is it that you have trouble relaxing? Maybe you just need to practice an awful lot on getting comfortable with simply driving in very quiet places, to get used to the car and whatnot. Get a parent or similar to take you out in their car to avoid paying through the nose for lessons that won't help.

[Tempest Fennac]

That's what I thought as well about Automatic (my parents seem to have issues with me doing that because it would stop me from using manual cars. The fact that I have no intention of using manual cars in the future is apparently irrelevant). It's only when I get started when my nerves become an issue (I tend to panic if things go wrong easily).

[Ranna]

Ok so you speak about steering problems and anxeity, Sounds to me like you simply associate driving with stress and so now get stressed when driving even if you are having a pleasant time.

Why not try getting driving to be fun again to solve your anxiety. Try Go-Karting get to grips with steering, spatial awareness, speed, breaking and being around other cars and enjoy it, if you can enjoy go-karting why not real driving. If you do intend on getting an automatic car then go-karting will be even more like driving to you.

[Tempest Fennac]

That is an interresting idea thanks (sadly, there's no where around here that does that sort of thing). Also, I'm starting at university in less then 2 months (I won't be ready to take the test by then). It's odd because the other instructor only seemed to see my gear-changing as a real problem.

[Charity]

Get in the car with me driving, that'll scare the crap out of you cure your nerves, ask Archie...

The thing is until you resolve your fear then you are wasting your cash.

Can you try to explain exactly what it is that worries you when you are in control of a car? My trouble here is I was always a cocky lil sod and had confidence sloshing out of my ears, I even told the instructer I knew he couldn't fail me because I'd done everything right... man he just loved telling me I'd passed through gritted teeth.

The thing is a lot of competence comes from confidence, you need to tap into some of that before you chuck more cash at the problem.
Can you persaude your parents to take you to an off road venue where you can work on developing some belief in your ability to control a vehicle. You don't need a licence to go hammering around a field and it's ace fun, even some carting experiance will garner some confidence.
Heck you live in Lincolnshire don't you all have tractors?:smallwink:

[Tempest Fennac]

No, we don't all have tractors.:smallannoyed: I'm scared that I'll hit something or get hit when I'm driving. My parents wouldn't let me do that with their cars either.

[Ilena]

Ive been trying to look back on my experiences in driving and its never really bothered me at all, (i am a calm person by nature, hense why i get along with horses so well :P) and have been driving since i was around 5 years old ... well driving for a few mins anyway ... but none of that helps this .. i would have to say try just driving something, any good experience driving will help im sure, if it is just because you are nervous eventually it should go away. Also driving a standard is alot harder then an automatic, with an automatic you just put it into drive and go, and your perents are right in wanting you to drive a standard first, its harder but if you can drive that you can drive anything, that reminds me ... i should learn to drive a standard :S im not entirely sure if any of this helps but here! :P

[Tempest Fennac]

I decided to try and get more lessons in before I go to university (hopefully, that should help a bit with the nerves). Now that I think about it, why do people still bother with manual cars? I can't see any benefits to making driving more complicated, which is the only thing they really do.

[Ilena]

They are faster and have a faster acceleration, but in everyday driving, i think they are slightly more fuel efficent, not sure on that, but some people just like driving them ...

[Tempest Fennac]

Thanks. I didn't know they were more fuel efficient to be honest (I assumed they were the same as manual cars performance-wise).

[Charity]

Autos suck.
You have much more control of your car if you control the gear you are in.
Manuals are second nature to most drivers, I have been driving for [mumble mumble] years now and the only time a manual is inferior to an auto is when you are in very heavy city traffic, thats about the only time I even notice I'm changing gear. An auto will always cost you more, cost more to run and break more often, and if you enjoy driving then it's like going swimming in a raincoat.

[Tempest Fennac]

I don't really enjoy it at all (I'm only learning because I haven't figured out how to teleport yet, and public transport is unreliable).

[Lissou]

That's what I thought as well about Automatic (my parents seem to have issues with me doing that because it would stop me from using manual cars. The fact that I have no intention of using manual cars in the future is apparently irrelevant). It's only when I get started when my nerves become an issue (I tend to panic if things go wrong easily).

If you travel and rent a car in another country, lots of countries won't have automatic cars (I've actually never seen one in France, for instance, be it for rental, sales or whatnot) so it might be good to at least know to use them. And even if you don't want to travel, you might have to due to your work or something, or change your mind. And if you can drive a manual one, you can drive an automatic one, while the opposite isn't true.
Not saying your parents are right, just that I see where they're coming from.

Also, I have the same problem, although in my case I only took one lesson and called it a day. I don't think I'll ever be able to drive, although in my case I'm just too scared I might hurt someone. I couldn't hold a gun either, and even using a sharp knife when there are people or animals around makes me jumpy, so it's definitely not a car thing.

If you're just nervous but you've made it for like 40 hours so far, I'd say maybe it's just a matter of use. Maybe you can get used to driving and being startled and stuff. I mean, you got used to walking in the street and having people suddenly cross your path, so maybe you can relax and get used to driving, let it become part of you or something.

Otherwise, even if it's a waste of money, throwing good money after bad one would be of no help. If you can't, you can't, and stopping spending might be the way to go. I can't say for sure if you can or not, though.

[Thrawn183]

I found that for myself it was a matter of practice. I'd go out and practice a single aspect of driving until I had perfected it. Then I'd figure out what the next thing I should perfect was. Now, I kick arse at driving. *mutters about people who just cruise around without actually paying attention to what's going on around them and somehow think they're good drivers just because they don't speed*

[Dihan]

I'm still learning how to drive, though I personally can't stand driving for one reason...

I hate those darned learners! :smallbiggrin:

On a more serious note, I get stressed by the other people. Usually those idiots who come whizzing around the corner and force you to pull over and stop (this is specifically a corner that has loads of parked cars on one side and is also quite narrow). Then they stop abruptly and flash you to go, in which my usual reply is to get really annoyed with them, make a mistake and then stall. :smallsigh:

They then get impatient and speed off just as I'm about to go.

So I can honestly say that I hate those darned non-learners too!

[Dallas-Dakota]

Autos suck.
Fully seconded. Thirded. Fourthed. And Fifthed.

[Quirinus_Obsidian]

Autos suck.
You have much more control of your car if you control the gear you are in.
Manuals are second nature to most drivers, I have been driving for [mumble mumble] years now and the only time a manual is inferior to an auto is when you are in very heavy city traffic, thats about the only time I even notice I'm changing gear. An auto will always cost you more, cost more to run and break more often, and if you enjoy driving then it's like going swimming in a raincoat.

Let's try to be a little constructive. The issue is not whether or not there is a problem with the details of the car, it is of the posters' original question of comfort. I agree with learning to drive an Automatic first, as that will help with having less things to worry about. You can always learn to drive a manual later on. I am comfortable with both; actually, my primary car has a 'manual mode' transmission :smallbiggrin: If it is a law where you are to know how to drive a manual, then I also agree with asking a family member if you can learn how to drive their car.

[Shikton]

I hated driving to begin with too. Got stressed out by having that teacher monitoring every mistake I made... But I managed to ignore him after a while, just pretended he didn't exist. Helped me a lot, made me able to concentrate better on what I was doing. I know it's kinda cliche advice, but it actually worked.

It also helped me to have some music playing. Are you allowed to play music when driving? Bring along something you find relaxing in that case. Could work for you.

[valadil]

Would you be less stressy if you drove with your parents instead of an instructor? When I started my dad let me get used to being at the wheel by having me drive real slow through suburban cul-de-sacs where we were unlikely to see any other cars. It helped a lot. The trick is finding the right area. We also practiced in a cemetery because it was hilly and winding, but there was little risk to anything around me.

When I went with a driving instructor our first lesson was through Boston and the second was on the highway. Both were high stress, but after that going 30 mph through town was no big deal. I don't know how I would have handled it if I wasn't used to the car already.

[Tempest Fennac]

It would be worse with my parents (they get worked up about things way too easily). I find that my instructor's fine (I like to have constant constructive critercism, which he's willing to give). I'm not allowed to use music whle driving sadly.

[Supagoof]

I'd say go-carts is a fun option, but if it's not available, how about heading to a golf course and renting a golf cart for some time?

I know that pouring money down the drain is a concern, but this also might be an option.

See if you can purchase a really cheap old beater. I mean, a car that is a piece of crap and that might only be used in a demolition derby. Whatever you can get cheap is fine.

Then take the car out to a field, and run it into a tree. Wear your seatbelt and other stuff (like a helmet maybe). Go fast enough to damage the car, but not any more faster then what your comfy with.

If anything, it will give you the experience of having an accident. Knowing what the car will do, what will happen. Might help ease your nervousness of begin out on the open road.

I, like Charity, started out with tons of confidence. Then again, I grew up around autos and always had dad telling me to go move the car on the driveway if it wasn't in the garage/right space/etc. I guess what I'm saying is you need to get familiar with the car. That is key. Driving a beater you don't give a crap about will only help your familiarity with a car, plus lesson the worry about actually hitting anything. I mean, most likely things to be hit are trees, concrete barricades, mailboxes, and other drivers. Most of which can take a crash, and the other drivers - well they have insurance for a reason.

We all know you can do it. You just need to know you can. :smallwink:

[Tempest Fennac]

Thanks for the suggestion, but I honestly don't think that would help (I'd probably be even more worried about crashing if I tried hitting a tree like that).

[Supagoof]

Thanks for the suggestion, but I honestly don't think that would help (I'd probably be even more worried about crashing if I tried hitting a tree like that).
The point is to crash. It's out of your system then. :smalltongue: Another thought is to see if a local junkyard would allow you to try crashing a car just once....

[thubby]

crack the windows, works for me. don't really know why.
learning on an auto is infinitely easier than a manual, it takes a lot off your mind. but you should learn to drive a stick at some point, it's just a good thing to know how to do.
now a days you actually have to pay extra for a stick since it's not "standard", at least around here.

[Obrysii]

why do people still bother with manual cars? I can't see any benefits to making driving more complicated, which is the only thing they really do.

There are a number of reasons.
Many older cars are manuals - if you like older ones, say to collect in the future, they're likely to be manual transmissions
They don't lose as much power. Torque converters suck up to 20% of the engine's power.
They're faster - shifts can be faster and due to the aforementioned power loss from the torque converter, they have more power when compared to an otherwise identical car with an automatic transmission
They're more fun - you can do more of what you want in it.
You have more control - you tell it what gear to be in, not the other way around. So driving in winter is much easier in an manual because you can shift when you need to.
They're more reliable - they're much, much simpler than automatics so they don't as often wear out or break down.
Learning to drive manual has another benefit: what if you find yourself in a situation where you have to drive a car with a manual transmission?


As far as learning to drive, I give this advice to everyone: Do not have your first car / learner car be a brand-new car. You'll be far, far more nervous about damaging a new car than an old $1,000 beater. Get an older, but reliable, car and learn in that - and relax, if you damage it you aren't losing a huge amount of money as a result. They also do tend to be less expensive to repair and insure.

My very first car was (I still have it) an '85 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser. It proved to be a reliable and easy car to drive, and due to its size once I had mastered driving it, smaller cars were exceptionally easy to drive.

[Gorbash]

Basically:

Manual = pro
Automatic = noob


They don't lose as much power. Torque converters suck up to 20% of the engine's power.

And of course they spend they spend 20% more gas. And with the rising prices of gas atm, it's a pretty big deal...

And I really have no clue how can driving an automatic car be difficult...

[SDF]

Basically:

Manual = pro
Automatic = noob



And of course they spend they spend 20% more gas. And with the rising prices of gas atm, it's a pretty big deal...

And I really have no clue how can driving an automatic car be difficult...

20%? Where do you get that number. Not with modern CVT technology, it has about the same mileage as a manual car. Standard transmissions are set up to have maximum fuel efficiency for the car, unless you mess with the gear ratios. Sure a manual could have better acceleration on a straightaway, but I can't really think of how that would be an advantage with speed limits anyhow.

[Ranna]

<Snippity>


As far as learning to drive, I give this advice to everyone: Do not have your first car / learner car be a brand-new car. You'll be far, far more nervous about damaging a new car than an old $1,000 beater. Get an older, but reliable, car and learn in that - and relax, if you damage it you aren't losing a huge amount of money as a result. They also do tend to be less expensive to repair and insure.

My very first car was (I still have it) an '85 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser. It proved to be a reliable and easy car to drive, and due to its size once I had mastered driving it, smaller cars were exceptionally easy to drive.

This post reminds me just how expensive second hand cars are in america, when my family (minus me) moved out over there they were gobsmacked. Especially since your new cars are so much cheeper than the new cars in the UK. When I think of an old beater its like a £200 old sh*t heap that usually costs more to insure than to actually buy!

[Jack Squat]

The way I think is probably best to deal with the problem is to alter your thinking. You're worried about hitting someone/being hit, right?

Well, unless you're terrible at driving, and either cross into the other lane, or don't use your brakes, you're not going to hit anyone. Heck, down here, there's a lot of people that straddle the double yellow lines until another car is coming. Their cars don't have any dents in the front yet...although I'm honestly suprised by that. If you get hit, it's not your problem. Try to stick to main roads, and not little country roads that are just over a lane wide. Sure, two full size Suburbans CAN pass eachother on those roads, but it's still nervewracking when two mid-size sedans come up on eachother.

If you can find someone who'll teach you on an automatic, go for it. I've no doubt that you could learn in a stick shift, but it'll be harder, considering your tendancy to worry when something goes wrong.

Do you have any friends/family that can take you to an empty parking lot so you can just get the feel of driving around and avoiding (stationary) objects, like buildings and lightposts? That would be a good way to get your confidence up. again, if you're good enough so that you don't hit anyone, you have nothing to worry about.

EDIT: Ranna; we've got cars like that over here too...plenty cost around $500 (251 GBP). The only thing is, no one wants to buy them because for 2-3 grand, you can get a decent used car. Probably why so many used cars are fairly expensive is the practice of people to trade in their partially paid off cars that they got last year for a new model. I've never seen the sense in this, but you'll find plenty of '07 and even '08 cars in used lots.

[KuReshtin]

A lot of people have given a lot of good advice before in this thread, and I would just want to reiterate the importance of getting used to the car.

I think your problem is not just that you get nervous when you're driving, but you also said that your parents get worked up about the smallest things. Getting some 'free lessons' from your parents or other relatives to give you more experience behind the wheel is invaluable.
My folks were excelent with that, because anytime we were going anywhere as a family (like going to visit my grand parents or stuff like that) they always gave me the option to drive if I felt like it. I probably had more than 300 hours of driving experience over 6 months or so before I got my licence, most of it from driving my dad's car. So if you've had about 40 hours of experience behind the wheel, I could understand some slight apprehension.

Try to find someone, anyone, you know that would be willing to let you drive their car for a little while on a closed space. Are there any large-ish companies in the vicinity that have car parks? You could get more used to handling the car if there's nothing at all nearby that you could run into.

[evisiron]

Wow, aside from the automatic part I could have written the original post. When I was learning to drive I was completely stressed out and hated driving.

In retrospect this was a large part the fault of my first driving instructor. I went into the car with the attitude of "I am operating what is essentially a land torpedo that can kill both myself and other people" for the first time...and he brought me onto the main streets. :smallmad:

Lessons included continual bumbling 'corrected' with sarcastic comments. If he had not been recommended so strongly by people I trusted, I would have switched earlier. As it was, I failed the test before changing instructors. The new guy was much better. After hearing what the previous one had done, the new guy brought me back to basics and started over in a quiet carpark. This worked soooo much better.

So my advice, find an instructor who understands how nervous you are, and start over.

If it is any help, as soon as I passed my test on the second attempt the fear and stress disappeared. It was as if the officials saying I was designated safe to drive made it okay, and I started enjoying driving. So look forward to that!

As a side note, my mum advised me to take Rescue Remedy (google it) and I did, so that might also have helped.
Another side note, I had bulky shoes. Buying crazily thin shoes made it much easier to figure out the pedals.

Hope that helps.

[Gorbash]

Buying crazily thin shoes made it much easier to figure out the pedals.

True. It makes no difference later on, but at first it's way easier to drive in chucks, for example.

[Tempest Fennac]

That sole comment reminds me of another problem: apparently, I can't just let the clutch come up quickly as soon as I've changed gears for some reason, and I need to use my big toe for operating it (the problem is that I can't really use my toe easily because I have long legs, and it's a choice between sitting uncomfortably or using the ball of my foot to operate the clutch). I've had a lot of steering practice in car parks before, but it's when I'm on the roads that I have the issues due to needing to do other things as well (the fact that my new instructor seems to think that I hold the wheel too high doesn't help either because I hold it in the way I do because I'm comfortable with it).