Tee Hee: Amusing Chats

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Just thought I might share some amusing discussions I've had recently. Feel free to share your own (but only if they're actually funny!)

Magazines Gone Wild!
Debbie: What kinda question is this?
Debbie: Do you get musicians a spot in only your magazine or other magazines as well? -Five Star Nation
Debbie: oh good morning
Me: Mornin'... and I think they need to wake up, have a pot of coffee, and maybe get last night's chemicals out of their system before posting.
Debbie: I don't even know how to answer that. 'Oh yeah, dude, that gets you in People, The National Enquirer and TIME!
Debbie: we just market under piddly music's rising stars coz we're BORED
Me: National Geographic if you can send us a photo with a platypus!
Debbie: with a naked native woman of course
Me: Hey, that's not a ba... never mind
Debbie: lol


From the bowels of HELL!
Krimm: finished my kajubaan, working on the sajuu
Me: where them?
Krimm: havn't posted yet
Krimm: was gonna wait until my scanner's up and ready so i have a picture
Me: ooh, ok
Me: *jaw drops*
Me: http://www.daoine-sidhe.org/galeries/img/Luis%20Royo/Fallen%20Angel.jpg
Krimm: woah
Me: what did YOUR DEMONS DO TO HIM?!
Krimm: just because we covered him in glew and threw him in a bin of spare parts doesn't mean he has to cry about it!
Me: what about the tentacles?!
Krimm: those were his own damn fault!
Me: whaaa? You... you... geeze
Krimm: that'll show him for falling right into the bathroom...
Me: the whole Abyss is a bloody bathroom!
Krimm: only most of it!
Krimm: and that's stereotyping, just because we have ONE plane made entirely of excrament, everyone thinks the whole place is like that
Me: even Beezlebub is like, 'No one will notice I took a dump, it's just the Abyss!'
Krimm: but they don't have digestive systems!
Me: which seriously throws up some unpleasant questions doesn't it!
Krimm: ok, so MAYBE some of the balors MAYBE decided to develop feces-producing glands MAYBE to spread more horror
Krimm: MAYBE
Me: well serves them right if the blood of innocents give them the runs!
Krimm: fine, let's just agree to disagree even though we both know you're just trying to give demons a bad name
Krimm: hmm... what would you call a group of hedonists?
Me: like an official name or a collective noun?
Krimm: just something suiting for Organization: Solitary, pair or
Me: Orgy?
Krimm ...it's so suiting
Me: uh huh
Krimm: alright, i'll use that
Me: Don't tell anyone I helped you. I need to keep my positive image afterall... y'know, that of a furry creator of warped and eerie tales.
Krimm: of course


Mouse Balls
Debbie: ughghg my mouse is driving me crazy. It won't scroll down. Acts like something in it but I cleaned it out and nothing's there!!
Me: when you have it opened up do all the little spinny things spin?
Debbie: yep, far as i can tell
Me: try spinning each one and see if the mouse moves on the screen
Debbie: k
Debbie: yeah all working fine.. nothin on the mouse pad either
Debbie but apparently something was up coz it's moving better now. I didn't even see a speck of dust...
Me: weird... but when you had it open and rolled the up rolly the pointer went up?
Debbie: yeah
Debbie: guess just wanted to be rubbed
Me: heh heh heh
Me: that means it's not the mouse though... maybe a sticky ball?
Debbie: whatever it is is gone now, it's working fine
Me: Huh, oh well, don't look a gift mouse in the balls.
Debbie: i will not even touch that comment

[Player_Zero]

Bash.org has some funny logs...

I also have logs of inane conversation I've had on MSN... Pretty much all of them, but digging them up would be a bit of a hassle.

[Hannes]

I have a weird sense of humour. I looked at the first two with my usual expression and my mind was going:"Uh-uh. SO funny. die."

But the last one made me laugh.
A story of elves
DM:You see a female elf fending off a horde of goblins single-handedly. She's wielding two rapiers. At first, she seems to do okay, but one of the goblins sneaks up on her and stabs her in the back. What do you do?
Party: CHARGE!
-combat ensues-
DM:So. You've looted everything. What do you do with the girl?
Player nr. 1:Let's leave her here, she's probably dead.
Player nr. 2:Alright, she's too big of an effort
Me: Oh come on guys! What the heck are you thinking?! It's an ELF. ELVES ARE UNKNOWN FOUNTAINS OF PLEASURE!
Party: Oh, right! Cleric!

[Pyro]

I just had an idea like that. I would post a conversation I recently had with my friend, but it's a religious parody thing, so I'm not sure I would get away with it.