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quotemyname
2008-08-05, 08:15 AM
so i was playing last night, (im a longtooth shifter fighter) and an enemy near me becomes bloodied. so i lean over to the guy next to me and show him my pit fighter attack "lion of battle" and he says to me, "Yo dude... if you crit with that..." im sure you know where that conversation went. however my turn was still a long ways off. but eventually it comes around again. like after 15 minutes. i go to use my ability on the monster, and the die rolls a 20. by this time of course i had utterly forgotten that he had said anything about getting a critical on it.

needless to say, after it took close to 90 damage from that single attack, the DM started targetting me more for the rest of the encounter :P (needless to say epic-resurgence got me an encounter power back!)

sorry if that post is too random for you guys. i just felt like it needed sharing. now its your turn... whats the best critical hit you guys ever got?

PhallicWarrior
2008-08-05, 08:52 AM
This one doesn't come from me personally, (I never get criticals.) but it comes from my group, so I think it counts.

We were playing SWD20 (2nd ed) and had just gotten most of the party together with the cliched "fight in tavern, then join forces" plot. Two of the players arrived late, and I allowed them to roleplay themselves in. One of the PCs is an ewok, and describes her little character being forced to dance for an organ grinder in the streets. Upon seeing the party, she makes a dash for freedom, thwacking the man with a pipe and hiding behind the Wookie Scout's legs. The man comes stomping up to the Wookie and demands the "little miscreant" back. The Wookie's player says:

"I'm going to kick him in the nuts."

He has a Str of 22, and he rolled the most beautiful natural 20 I've ever seen. He rolls damage. Maxed. I announce,

"Although your kick doesn't knock him unconcious, the impact with the ceiling and the floor does. A red stain spreads from his crotch area, and he mutters 'OK, you can keep the monkey.' before passing out.

Kesnit
2008-08-05, 12:37 PM
"I'm going to kick him in the nuts."

He has a Str of 22, and he rolled the most beautiful natural 20 I've ever seen. He rolls damage. Maxed. I announce,

"Although your kick doesn't knock him unconcious, the impact with the ceiling and the floor does. A red stain spreads from his crotch area, and he mutters 'OK, you can keep the monkey.' before passing out.

I did that with a Kender Rogue against a Draconian. From previous experience, I knew some Draconians turn to stone when they die. I didn't want to risk losing my new +1 Short Sword, so I decided to go for an unarmed attack. (Kender are small, so unarmed is 1d2. However, I had 2d6 SA.) I hit with both hands (TWF) and crit one of the rolls.

It was later decided I had grabbed the Draconian's genitals and twisted.

A few sessions later, the party was fighting a Fiendish Juvinile Red Dragon. The Wizard had been knocked unconcious and revived twice. I had been dropped to 4 HP and then healed. The Monk had taken a pounding. (The Cleric and Ranger had stayed out of melee range and were OK.) The Wizard casts Haste (while on his back), giving me 3 attacks (LVL 4). I hit with all 3, and critted one of them. The DM declared I attacked so hard with my SS and Dagger that I propelled myself right into the skin under the dragon's wing.

arguskos
2008-08-05, 01:05 PM
I was DMing a session a while back, and my players came up against a greathorn minotaur. In the first round of combat, it won initiative, and critted the human fighter for 79 damage, crushing him instantly. Everyone else ran away.

That player got a new character, a gnome cleric. They went back to get the minotaur and take revenge for the fighter. It won init. again, and crushed the gnome under another crit. :smallamused:

Later that session, a spellcaster they were fighting cast a scorching ray at three party members. He crit with ALL THREE RAYS, and killed them all. :smalltongue:

Several sessions later, a player got critted by an Entropic Reaper (wielding a Huge sized Scythe) for 111 damage. His mark of justice then went off, causing a massive explosion, hurling the party off the mountain this was on top of, along with destroying the Reaper. It was very nearly a TPK.

In that same session (with the reaper), some assassin devils attacked the party. They used death attack, black lotus poison, and were attacking with a mighty comp. longbow (+6 Str bonus) from concealment. Both devils crit on the same turn, and together managed to almost kill two players.

I wish I was making this up.

-argus

Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll
2008-08-05, 01:11 PM
The first die I rolled in one game I was DMing killed the Half-Orc barbarian who had taken advantage of his speed to run ahead. I ruled that he was chopped clear in half. The party arrived just in time to see his body.

Occasional Sage
2008-08-05, 01:24 PM
I'm playing in the Savage Tide (D&D3.5) adventure path currently, and my most-crucial key hit was enough that my DM started a thread (http://paizo.com/paizo/messageboards/paizoPublishing/olderProducts/dungeon/savageTide/savageTideGloriesOppositeOfTheObituariesThread&page=1) because of it.

It wasn't a crit, but it was certainly critical. We could've had a TPK without that moment.

Hunter Noventa
2008-08-05, 01:27 PM
It was quite a while ago, but we were assaulting the keep of the vampire lord responsible for organizing an army to attack the last free human city in the world. My Swordsage had been keeping him pinned to his throne while the rest of the party deatl with his demonic friends. Ar ound after everyone turns their attention to him what happens?

I roll a natural 20 with my Sun Blade while doing one of the many 'set your sowrd on fire' manuvers available from Desert wind, and decapitate him. It was lovely.

Human Paragon 3
2008-08-05, 01:41 PM
I was playing an oriental-style fighter back in 2e and the party was having trouble with an invisible opponent who was setting traps while we fought some monsters. Through the course of fighting, I had made my way to the top of a tall statue, but the enemy was nowhere to be seen. I had the blindfight proficiency (this was before feats) but so far it hadn't been enough to narrow down the location of the bad guy, due to some bad rolls. On my turn, I announced that I was closing my eyes and using all my other senses to try and detect the enemy. I took a brief moment to meditate, then leaped from the top of the statue in a flying kick. Rolled a natural 20.

Much to the amazement of everyone I nailed the bastard in the chest, knocking him over and making him visible. Was probably the coolest critical I've ever had.

The J Pizzel
2008-08-05, 02:48 PM
I'm DMing for a group of friends that can only get together every now and then, but when we do, it's usually a great couple of sessions. Here ya go:

One time they were at a fair/bazarre in the central hub of the city. He had mixed colored dye into murky water and was selling them as CMW potions (his bluff check was beautiful and he role-played this out nicely). He was taking a break, enjoying a turkey leg (think Renaissance Festivals) and was accused of being a fraud. Long story short, initiative was rolled.

So, for the first 3 rounds he didn't attack, he took total defense and kept eating the damn Turkey Leg. By this point he was down to the bone. So he calmly says:

Gavin (the swashy): I'd like to roll a Bluff Check as my move action (and pretend I’m reaching for my stiletto), and stab him with my Turkey Leg Bone. Yes, I'll accept the -4 penalty to attack for using an improvised weapon. (Bluff = 28)

Me: uuhhhh, ok. (rolls Sense Motive = 14)

Me: (narrative) Ok, you fake like your bringing your hand down to withdraw your stiletto, his eyes follow your hand down and you realize he's completely taken the bait. Roll for attack.

Gavin: Natural 20. Roll to confirm....uh.....28? Will that work?

Party: NO F***ing Way!?!?!

Gavin: may I roll damage? Good. Oh, what’s the damage on a Turkey Leg Bone JP?

Me: (still dumbfounded): uh....1d2.

Gavin: sounds good to me. 1d2 (turkey) + 1d2 (turkey) + 7d6 (SA) + 2 (str).

Me: um.....yeah.....you uh...jab the turkey leg into his eye. He twitches just several times before falling lifeless to the ground. 6 inch turkey leg bone protruding from his left eye.

Gavin: I calmly go back to the small fountain in the town square, and hop on the little wall surrounding it and yell: "Freshly brewed healing droughts 1 for 50gp or 2 for 80gp."

I think he made about 2k just off those sales.

jP

Glyde
2008-08-05, 03:24 PM
The party was in trouble in our 2e campaign. We had just been betrayed by the baddies who were posing as allies, and I had been left behind a while back, out cold.

A little background information. My character is a Half-Fiend, his fiendish parent being a Glabrezu, so when he's not focusing on a disguise he has a big pincer. My character stabilized himself, woke up, and picked a random direction and started running. The last bad guy had the party more or less at his mercy, about to kill the wizard (This all actually started because the wizard 'accidently' fireballed the bad guys before they could actually betray us. That's a different thing entirely.)

Well, I show up, win initiative and charge the merc. This guy is the same one that took me out before with his "Bracers of the Blinding Strike". As I like to call them, the blender bracers.

I crit with the pincer backed up by another 20 and then confirmed, pincing (Hah.) him clean in half in the first round for 50+ damage. The table erupted and I am now enjoying my new bracers.

Sinfire Titan
2008-08-05, 03:39 PM
When using the Dragon Compendium's rules for Crit Hits, I had an ECL 6 Totemist score a crit against a CR 12 White Dragon. 10 points of Con damage says he hates me.

LotharBot
2008-08-05, 03:44 PM
First session of our last campaign (ECL 6 at the time), we're sleeping in the forest when a bunch of wolves come after the party. "Filthy Ike", our uber archer, stays asleep for the whole first round of combat as the rest of us try to fend off the inbound wolves. Round 2, he rolls over, grabs his bow, shoots at a wolf... natural 20, kills it in one shot. He mumbles "I don't see what the big deal is, they're just wolves", rolls back over, and goes to sleep.

Wikkin
2008-08-05, 03:53 PM
Low-level game. We were on a cart trying to get away from gnolls chasing us. There were gnolls on the cart and we were beating them away.

The 'boss gnoll' gets to the cart and starts to climb onto the top, where my lowbie ranger was at the time. I had just managed to get to where there were no enemies around me, and I had point blank and precise shot feats so I plug 2 arrows at the boss.

20, 20. Roll to confirm? 20, 19.

Yeah, one arrow to each eye, and off of the cart with you!

Xyk
2008-08-05, 05:22 PM
Ok, this was really funny at the time. I was DMing a level 1 3.5 campaign, with a elf ranger, elf druid, and halfling fighter, none of which were optimized. They met a guy on the road (bandit leader), who then threatened them for their gold with a whistle hanging out of his mouth. The ranger didn't understand what the whistle was for so he took out the bell he happened to have. when the bandit blew his whistle, signalling his allies in the trees, the ranger rang the bell, not having a scheme or anything. The bandit leader then drew his two swords and critted the ranger into -3. We all laughed and it was great. He was ringing his bell and then he got stabbed in the face.

Baerdog7
2008-08-05, 05:45 PM
This was a while back when I was playing a Soulknife/Pyrokineticist. The party had finally cleared its way through the dungeon and was in the final room when we see a "damsel in distress" chained to the wall. Turns out, the final boss was a changeling and it changed back when one of the party members got close enough to try and free it.

My character comes up first in initiative. All of his psionic and pryo weapon buffs are active. He charges the boss and...critical hit! I calculate damage and realize I've done just enough to force a massive damage save. No matter, we all expect the boss to save it since it's only DC 15 and, hey, 50+ damage is still a nice way to start an encounter. The DM rolls the save and...gets a 13. We all look around at each other for a minute before bursting into laughter and agreeing that it as the most awesome thing any of us had done in several sessions.

Several months before that, I was playing a Soulknife in the Burning Plague adventure from the WotC site and got a one hit kill on the boss there by throwing my mindblade across the room at him. I don't know what it is about me and Soulknives, but I just seem to have good luck with them at dramatic moments. :smallbiggrin:

KillianHawkeye
2008-08-05, 07:01 PM
Last weekend I DMed the Kobold Hall mini-adventure from the back of the DMG for our groups first foray into 4E. There was 4 PCs, a Fighter, a Rogue, a Warlord, and a Wizard. None of them really knew what they were doing, but I had helped them make their characters since I had the most experience.

Anyway, when the group got to Room 4 (the one with the boss fight and the rolling boulder trap) they made the mistake of getting split up. The Rogue went to one side to shoot her crossbow, the Warlord charged ahead with the Fighter trying to keep up (but getting glued by a Kobold Slinger), and the Wizard staying back to shoot spells.

Well, after a couple rounds I had the flying drake (I forget what it was called exactly) go after the Wizard. In two rounds I got two criticals with its bite attack, taking the Wizard down. It was nearly a TPK since the Warlord (by herself against the Dragonshields) was killed just before the Fighter joined her, and the Fighter was subsequently also taken down. Only the Rogue survived because she went to save the Wizard from being eaten and used her Daily to kill the drake, but by then everyone else was unconscious and dying.

To be fair, they didn't know what they were doing and we plain forgot to use some of their class abilities (such as the Fighter's Combat Challenge). Having a 5th PC would probably have also helped a lot. But getting 2 crits in a row against the party Wizard made it worthwhile to me. :smallbiggrin:

Lycar
2008-08-06, 04:26 AM
I'll have to say: Look at post #9 here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86775).

What better time to off a single big beasty then before it even gets to go 'groar'? :smallbiggrin:

Lycar

Roderick_BR
2008-08-06, 07:53 AM
Yeah, I rarely get criticals at... critical momments.
My friend does, though. His two shinning momments of awesome (or however you call it)
Human Fighter, using two long swords (it was 3.0, but I gave him two magic swords that cancelled the penalty. Like the "balanced" enchantment that would show up at MIC). After the halfling, using his illusions to infiltrate the orc camp and disabling their catapults, the group rallied, and attacked, along the soldiers of the fort they were allied with. That fighter was leading the attack, and, mounted, attacked what looked like the enemy army's leader, remembering my friend didn't have mounted combat, and was wielding only one weapon. He charges on the leader, and crits him, for max damage, insta-killing it. It was so awesome that the enemy army almost fell apart.

The second time (SAME player), he was playing a female drow sorcerer. The PCs were locked in a human fort, and the drow seduces the guard. When he gets close enough, she casts True Strike, and before he can react, she shots his eyes with a Ray of Frost..... and rolls a critical. Overkill with a 0-level spell anyone?