Hilarious Stories in the Playground

[fraud]

One time I remember my friend was bugging me to talk about something funny I just couldn't recall anything. And I've seen more than 1 funny story on this form that made me laugh so hard I think I pulled something. So now I want the members of the thread to share their funny stories. It's okay if it's not all that funny, we'd rather have a unfunny story instead of no story. What inspired me to make this thread is I was making some pasta (1st time) and I was pouring the pasta into the pan but some of the pasta missed it and went into the burner so suddenly I had all these pasta strings on fire and I freaked out! I know that wasn't that funny but I'd like you to post something (hopefully) funnier. Now I gotta go check my pasta (and look up to see if "unfunny" is a word...)
EDIT: my friend came and grabbed the burnt pasta out and put them in a pot with water in it so they could cool off. Than when the pasta was done he grabbed the pan and yelled so I told him "oh yeah I forgot to mention, you should use the rag so you don't burn yourself" than when he poured it into the cauldron I was holding the steam from the water being poured actually hurt me so I grabbed a rag. Other than that it went pretty good:smallbiggrin:

[TheCountAlucard]

One time my friend Justin and I were going in his truck to pick up another friend.

For no real reason, I pointed my finger at his head like a gun and said, "I'll do it. I'm not kidding, I'll do it."

He starts fake-freaking out, shouting at me to "do it, just do it, pull that m-f'in' trigger!"

I thought it was funny, anyway...

[fraud]

okay me and my friend (the one with the pasta) were both laughing at that.

[reorith]

i walked into a gun store with a buddy of mine who had legitimate business there. having sometime to kill, i asked the guy behind the counter "in your professional opinion, what is the best way to shorten the barrel of a shotgun? i kinda want to roll like clyde barrows." he glared at me and said "could use a hacksaw, use a box an' make sure your cut is straight. pipecutters work if you have the patience. dremel is good too. just don't go ruby ridge on me now."

[Thanatos 51-50]

Didn't Clyde Barrows use a Browning Automatic Rifle?

[reorith]

Didn't Clyde Barrows use a Browning Automatic Rifle?
yeah but he was also like the pioneer of the pistol gripped short barreled shotgun on a sling. truly one of the greatest innovators ever.

[Thanatos 51-50]

yeah but he was also like the pioneer of the pistol gripped short barreled shotgun on a sling. truly one of the greatest innovators ever.

Should have invented an armored car.

[Zakama]

One time my friend Justin and I were going in his truck to pick up another friend.

For no real reason, I pointed my finger at his head like a gun and said, "I'll do it. I'm not kidding, I'll do it."

He starts fake-freaking out, shouting at me to "do it, just do it, pull that m-f'in' trigger!"

I thought it was funny, anyway...

Here's a funny story... I read that and thought "What? Em did that? Oh, MI week..."

[InABanana]

I once went to my friends birthday and there were lots of gifts. One was this big box and he was sort of afraid to open it. Afterward he told me he's afraid of people jumping out of big boxxes. He has been since once for his birthday when he was young that happened to him. So the next day i hid in a large box and another one of my firends rang the doorbell. When he answered i jumped out and he screamed. It was pretty funny.

[Totally Guy]

There was this one time I went down a platinum mine in South Africa...

To start off we all had to strip down to underwear and put on overalls. Being the shortest guy in the class I had the small size overall, which for some reason had slits for pockets rather than pockets for pockets. So with my physique the pockets were forced open and my hips and underwear were fully visible. So I thought, no good hiding it from the girls and being embarrassed, I could just point it out and laugh with it.

Then we put on miner helmets. Complete with a massive heavy battery pack hanging off the belt at the back. And gloves, great big massive gloves. I have little tiny girly hands.

As we walked about the mine I had a problem. The massive battery pack weighed down on my pants. Lowering them, and my massive gloves was giving me trouble pulling them up.

Eventually one of the girls pointed and asked me where my underwear had gone as by this point I was just showing off far too much hip.

[Pwenet]

Last weekend I drove down to Virginia to visit some old college friends who got married and bought a nice townhouse and they were throwing a housewarming party. I have not seen them in over 2 years and I needed a weekend out of town so I decided that what turned out to be an 11 hour drive down there would be perfect.

I got down there Friday evening and had a blast. Early Sunday morning we got ready for me to take off for I wanted to get home at a decent hour. We said our goodbyes and got the bags out and walked out to my car. I pulled out my keys and hit the unlock button.

*Insert absence of noise.*

*Insert me hitting the unlock button more."

My Friend: "Dude, where's you car."

Instead of my car there was a nice empty parking spot in the VISITORS parking lot. What happened next was an amusing 15 minutes of me running around like a headless chicken with my key ring trying to activate my car alarm and my friend running back into his townhouse trying to find out information.

Finally we came across a sign, right where I came in and partially covered by a torn up sticker that I missed (Hey, 11 hour drive in bad traffic, I was shot and when you have someone standing in a spot saying over a phone "Park Here" you park there.) saying that the Visitor parking spots needed a visitor parking pass that was to be provided to the people hosting said visitor. It would have been nice if the home owners association that towed me informed my friends of that little fact :smallfurious:

So the hilarious part, despite a 2.5 hour delay as we waited for the appointment to pick up my car, I made the trip back in 7 hours (vs. 11+ on the way down).

Yeah, not sure if this is hilarious to anyone else or not. :smallconfused: Had to try at least.

[fraud]

Just now I have a funny story to be told:smallbiggrin:

so at my house we have a giant pool and a slide and my sisters had their friend over and they were sitting at the end of the slide so I came out fully-dressed and climbed to the top of the slide and my sisters told their friend "don't worry he's not gonna slide" and so I slid down not afraid to get my pants wet. I tried with a friend and I learned that if you hit the other person off, only they fall off not you so I slid down and they screamed and jumped out of the way at the last moment so I fell in the pool, fully dressed including shoes.:smallannoyed:
it was kinda funny though:smallamused:

[SilentNight]

SLightly morbid but still entertaining in my opinion.
So I'm fencer. Our club used to share a space with a kung fu instructor adn he would have ropes hanging on the walls for punching bags. We were running laps for warm up and everyone would jump to touch the rope as they went by. Eventually somebody knocked it loose so it was just hanging there. Most people just ran around it. However, yours truly, being the genius that I am, decided to duck instead. Wouldn't you know it but my chin gets caught and I go sailing like a pendulum about eight feet in the air. Funny part is it freaked out my coach more than it did me.

[Ethrael]

And one from me now: :D

You may think of it as a funny quote or response, but it's funny anyway. My dad told me this story of my mum giving birth to me. (Not gross, I promise. :smallredface:)

I'm the oldest kid and it was the first time she experienced the pain, so she threw her rage onto my dad, saying that IT HURT and that she wanted the drugs. So my poor dad walks up to the nurse at the reception, a weathered, big, "Mama" nurse, and says meekly.

"Umm, my wife's pain...over there..."

She turns to him with a wise look.

"That's why they call it labour, honey."

Not that funny, I know, but I liked it... :smalltongue:

[fraud]

I thought it was funny. But I should also mention this last part to my previous story.

I don't know why but my dog suddenly grabbed the towel I was using and was trying to pull it off. It was very funny for my friends apparently:smallredface:

[Felixaar]

"So, how do you know my wife?"
"Oh, we had a conversation in the mens bathroom."

This one is actually funnier without the story behind it.

[evisiron]

I was at my girlfriends house. We became bored, and in XKCD fashion, decided to fill the room with balloons! We got the floor covered with a 'pit' area too after about 400 balloons.

Now, my girlfriend has cats. One cat burst a balloon and feaked, so the other was wary. We wanted it to play with them, but it seemed pretty scared, and it kept away from them. Then it jumped on the bed, balloon covered floor to its back.

I came in the room and saw it sitting there, and so shouted BOO! in a 'hehe, it'll be confused for a second here' way. No... it jumped. Claws out.

*POP POP POP*

Cat freaks out, lashes around itself *PO POP POP POP* and dives under the bed.

Silly kitty! :smallbiggrin:

Story ends well. It had 'The Fear' for a while but came to like the balloons, and would swat them around the house with its (claw retracted) paw.

[de-trick]

where to start

seriously anytime i go out, ends up having a good laugh

like today ended up laughing of how a cup lid from a slurpie stayed attached to the antena even thou it was only holding by a little crack, even going over a 140km it would not fall off, ended up leaving it on till we went in the autocarwash and it stayed on till the final super dryer,

and then he was ripping the E-brake and punch it, toyko drift FTW, while listening to some Allen Jackson

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Since I already told it detail in my blog (http://sometimeswrite.blogspot.com/2008/06/open-mouth.html), I won't re-type the whole thing here. Be warned! It's sad and funny at the same time.

[Shraik]

I was sleepin over a friends house and accidently spilt ice tea while moving around in my sleeping bag.
So my friend goes gets a swiffer wet jet, attaches the cloth to it, and starts cleaning, then makes me do the second half.
After that he walks into the kitchen while I'm cleaning. I grab the cup, walk in, and put the cup in the sink. He's putting his swiffer towel in the garbage, with me on the other side.
I just go "Hey. Hey. Dude, Guess what?"
He looks up at me, and says what.
I just take the swiffer towel and Slap him straight across the face.
He gives me a look, like someone just threw up on him, rubs his face, and just goes "Eww....its sticky..."