If Aliens Invaded...What Would You Do?

[Leliel]

By which I mean, what would you do to aid your loved ones in such an event (forming a millita counts)?

[Fan]

I would hide in my underground bunker, and see how good alien blood tasted, if it didn't taste good I'd save humans, and destroy the alien invaders!

[DraPrime]

I'd move to Texas. Because that's were all the guns are.

[bosssmiley]

Attempt to establish peaceful communication. Any culture advanced enough to muster the resources and master the scientific knowledge to travel to other stars is doubtless advanced enough to understand that peaceful communication and trade is of superior utility to military conquest.

To a spacefaring culture raw materials are cheap; our value as another intelligent race in the universe will trump the value of our planet as resource base.

[chiasaur11]

Fake allegiance in exchange for safety and power, and hope they have no idea of the earth thing we call "dirty backstabbing treachery."

[randman22222]

Hope they didn't see this thread. :smallsigh:

[Player_Zero]

If aliens invaded they would've had to have come from a planet outside the solar system and therefore would most likely have invented faster than light travel. If this was the case their weapons technology would also most likely be far in advance of our own. We wouldn't have a chance.

Our only chance for survival would be peaceful resolution or evacuation of Earth.

[King_of_GRiffins]

To a spacefaring culture raw materials are cheap; our value as another intelligent race in the universe will trump the value of our planet as resource base.

Which is precisely why they want us as their slaves! :smalleek:

In the case of these clearly violent aliens who want to enslave us, I suppose it comes down to just how much more advanced they are than us, and whether or not their ships can withstand the heat of a few hundred suns worth of nuclear energy :smallwink:

Assuming they are nuclear-proof, it'd be good to know if they're also immune to earthling bacteria, bullets, martial arts, Chuck Norris, web-comics, TVtropes, and ice-cream.

[Trizap]

Attempt to establish peaceful communication. Any culture advanced enough to muster the resources and master the scientific knowledge to travel to other stars is doubtless advanced enough to understand that peaceful communication and trade is of superior utility to military conquest.

To a spacefaring culture raw materials are cheap; our value as another intelligent race in the universe will trump the value of our planet as resource base.

that I definitely agree with.

besides we wouldn't stand much chance against their weapons, they wouldn't even have to invade, they could just land and do whatever they want we couldn't stop them, and they would know it.

[chiasaur11]

If aliens invaded they would've had to have come from a planet outside the solar system and therefore would most likely have invented faster than light travel. If this was the case their weapons technology would also most likely be far in advance of our own. We wouldn't have a chance.

Our only chance for survival would be peaceful resolution or evacuation of Earth.

That does make the "Tech Tree" assumption however (IE, that a community would need to go up in all technologies to advance in one, rather than advancing independently).

I disagree with that assumption, which leaves the option our foes fight with sharp sticks.

In which case...
Heh heh heh.

[Trizap]

Which is precisely why they want us as their slaves! :smalleek:

In the case of these clearly violent aliens who want to enslave us, I suppose it comes down to just how much more advanced they are than us, and whether or not their ships can withstand the heat of a few hundred suns worth of nuclear energy :smallwink:

Assuming they are nuclear-proof, it'd be good to know if they're also immune to earthling bacteria, bullets, martial arts, Chuck Norris, web-comics, TVtropes, and ice-cream.

any race that advanced would have probably invented robots......servants who would be much more durable, and all around better for labor and all that junk.....

[Player_Zero]

That does make the "Tech Tree" assumption however

Didn't you ever PLAY Alpha Centauri?

It's all in there.

[hamishspence]

of course, to some aliens, we (and everything else living) are the resource they want to harvest. Which would not be pleasant.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Attempt to establish peaceful communication. Any culture advanced enough to muster the resources and master the scientific knowledge to travel to other stars is doubtless advanced enough to understand that peaceful communication and trade is of superior utility to military conquest.

To a spacefaring culture raw materials are cheap; our value as another intelligent race in the universe will trump the value of our planet as resource base.
I counter your reasoning with an argument not my own. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIufLRpJYnI) :smalltongue:

[Copacetic]

Attempt to sell my Social studies teacher into slavery for a star cruiser.

[Jack Squat]

I'd start playing folk music. If that didn't work, I'd get people together and head out towards the wilderness.

[Fri]

Actually I've dreamed about this (I have a lot of 'good' dreams).

Basically, it was a Cozy Catastrophe. Human fought a quick and silent war. The resistance ended before we could even think. Mankind just quietly and silently accept defeat, we're just horribly outclassed. The war don't even reach my place. I remember feeling kinda scared, but nothing we could do.

The alien then put people in trucks. We're only allowed to bring a backpack. The one thing that I keep remembering is, how I fussed on which novel I should bring (At last I remember I picked Dune).

Then we sat silently on the truck.

Luckily, the alien isn't the monster-alien-conqueror type. They're even kind of benevolent. We're just shipped into a planet somewhere (I was really thrilled on riding a space ship, even if we didn't have any window or monitor to show the sea of stars).

Then I just life peacefully in some planet with other humans and other kinds of aliens (That I suppose was defeated too). It seemed that the attacking alien was just want to unify the galaxy or something.

[Ilena]

Well, i would get my horses together, and some friends/family and live out in the bush, but make sure to take many guns and much ammo for incase the aliens came they may not have shields that can stop a bullet .. or armor .. all else fails, hopefully ambush a few and grab their guns ... but ya id live in peace if they left me be ...

[Shai'Hulud]

Try to capture a live specimen so that I can shift my bioweapons development to focus on things that will kill them instead of things that will kill humans.

[Arioch]

Attempt to make contact peacefully. If that didn't work out, I'd throw myself on their mercy and sell out my fellow humans in exchange for survival. Who knows, they might make me their vassal.

...What? Who needs morality?

[Setra]

Attempt to make contact peacefully. If that didn't work out, I'd throw myself on their mercy and sell out my fellow humans in exchange for survival. Who knows, they might make me their vassal.

...What? Who needs morality?
This is what I would do.

Especially is there are hot alien babes among the aliens.

[Flickerdart]

Chances are they won't even consider us sentient beings, and maybe not even a lifeform. Communication of any scale would be meaningless since we share nothing in common. That means either they don't need Earth and leave, or need Earth and wipe us out. Not much of a choice as far as we are concerned, since a star-travelling race would have many more powerful technologies and soldiers than us. Then again, the "barbaric" humans could just nuke them until they leave.

[bosssmiley]

That does make the "Tech Tree" assumption however (IE, that a community would need to go up in all technologies to advance in one, rather than advancing independently).

The concept of precursor technologies generally indicates that this will not be the case. Something relatively simple, like a steam engine or a valve technology computer, let alone a starship, is at the pinnacle of a colossal - but largely invisible - pyramid of technological and scientific advancements, many of which are easily (even accidentally) capable of becoming viable weapons should the need arise.

Isaac Newton could work out the laws of motion in the 1600s, but there's no way his society could have built a rocket ship. The required infrastructure and materials simply didn't exist, and wouldn't for centuries to come. All things come in their own time.

[Holammer]

I'd go Benedict Arnold or Quisling and try to make the best out of it. Welcome our new alien overlords etc. An alien race capable of launching an invasion in another system would make the Spanish conquest of the Americas look like a a quaint little tea party.

[Wraithy]

Tie my loved ones together into a large human (and probably some wattle and daub) hut.

[Naleh]

Die. Duh...

[Mando Knight]

I'd whip out Iron Man armor and go all Tony Stark on their alien rears.

Unless they're a superstitious and cowardly lot, in which I use their greatest fears against them.

Or I'd open up a portal to the Negative Zone and eliminate them all in one shot... since, you know...

"They say the best weapon is the one you never have to fire. I respectfully disagree. I prefer the kind of weapon you only need to fire once. That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far."

Whatever I do, it won't be Embracing Change. (embracechange.org)

[Tengu_temp]

Taking advantage of Poland being a small and insignificant country that'd probably get ignored for a long time, I'd just wait. Wait until we reverse-engineer the giant robots aliens use as weapons and start producing them, at which point I'm one of the first to join the resistance!

What, there are alien invasions without giant robots? Don't be jokin'.

[Telonius]

Nothing. I'd let our bacteria do the work for us.

And hope they didn't bring any along with them.

[The Orange Zergling]

Crush the unprepared human resistance. And then die in 10 seconds as is par for Zerglings. :smalltongue:

[sktarq]

Look for career options in Alien/Human relations.
Including:

Translator (REALLY (quarks can be big?, Buglarian shake their heads yes-or at least did until recently and now everyone is confused) wierd ideas are rather normal to me. Translating them to normal speak is a parttime that could be good training.

Puppet government stooge. I live comparitivly high on the hog thank you. Now bow down or I call in the alien Air Cav.

Pet. I have pretty eyes and a classic build. I can pretend to be cute and peaceful if I have to. Breeding programs-need I say more?

[Semidi]

Spray them with water, cough on them, and upload a virus into their mothership.

If that fails, I'd go watch more bad sci-fi movies for ideas.

[TigerHunter]

Weell... I'd either grab all my friends from school, hide in my underground bunker, and wait for the aliens to catch chicken pox, or defect.

[chiasaur11]

Show them old comics and claim we have all kinds of deadly monsters shown in them.

It worked for Reed Richards.

[SurlySeraph]

Flee from the city to our country house, avoiding the highways if possible. Hunt deer, as the deer in the area are so plentiful and don't fear people. Gather edible plants, within the limits of my ability. Try to set up a defense and watch system with the neighbors. Try to survive unnoticed.

If I didn't have time for that... get me a crowbar, hide in the subways, and hope they don't have manhacks. Try to set up an underground railway to get other survivors out of the city. Try to work any survivors I found into a vaguely religious anti-alien fervor. And wait for Gordon Freeman to show up.

[celestialkin]

I'd get some titanium underwear so I won't get the probe...


>.>
<.<

[An Enemy Spy]

I for one welcome our new alien overlords

[Lord Tataraus]

Considering that in the late 1400s 90% of the human population of the North and South American continents was wiped out by European/Asian diseases in less than a decade, I'll let the disease take care of the aliens, and they aren't even human so they will be even more vulnerable.

[celestialkin]

Considering that in the late 1400s 90% of the human population of the North and South American continents was wiped out by European/Asian diseases in less than a decade, I'll let the disease take care of the aliens, and they aren't even human so they will be even more vulnerable.

There are few cross-species diseases as is. I doubt there would be one on our planet that could affect them.

And even if there were, the aliens would be advance enough to cure themselves easily. I'd say we should be the ones worried about their diseases.

[Collin152]

"Klaatu barada nikto."
I say that, save the world. Simple as that.

[Linkavitch]

I'd move to Texas. Because that's were all the guns are.

The guns are in Texas, but you can only own them in Nevada and Arizona!

[Firestar27]

I for one welcome our new alien overlords

I know that a quote from somewhere, but where? [citation needed]

[chiasaur11]

I know that a quote from somewhere, but where? [citation needed]


Simpsons, but that was about insects.

[UncleWolf]

Actually I've dreamed about this (I have a lot of 'good' dreams).

Basically, it was a Cozy Catastrophe. Human fought a quick and silent war. The resistance ended before we could even think. Mankind just quietly and silently accept defeat, we're just horribly outclassed. The war don't even reach my place. I remember feeling kinda scared, but nothing we could do.

The alien then put people in trucks. We're only allowed to bring a backpack. The one thing that I keep remembering is, how I fussed on which novel I should bring (At last I remember I picked Dune).

Then we sat silently on the truck.

Luckily, the alien isn't the monster-alien-conqueror type. They're even kind of benevolent. We're just shipped into a planet somewhere (I was really thrilled on riding a space ship, even if we didn't have any window or monitor to show the sea of stars).

Then I just life peacefully in some planet with other humans and other kinds of aliens (That I suppose was defeated too). It seemed that the attacking alien was just want to unify the galaxy or something.

Don't you know this really happened?:smalltongue:

I don't need to worry about it much, my family has contingency plans for any situation like this. Including:
Nuclear war
Hostile aliens
Economy collapse
Plagues
and Total war

We live in the middle of Missouri so it'll take forever for it to reach us and besides Mo. is always the center of resistance in any alien takeover.

[UncleWolf]

The guns are in Texas, but you can only own them in Nevada and Arizona!

And Missouri:smallbiggrin:

[Jade Falcon]

If they are hostile, we are pretty much f****d. We could only hope that they are morons, who

- don´t use antivir software on their bad-ass mothership

- are allergic to water

- die instantly if you cough at them


but in the end, why should they be hostile? I doubt that we have anything of worth to them. Perhaps as food ... someone remembers the game "Orion Burger" ?

[ghost_warlock]

Considering that in the late 1400s 90% of the human population of the North and South American continents was wiped out by European/Asian diseases in less than a decade, I'll let the disease take care of the aliens, and they aren't even human so they will be even more vulnerable.

The problem with this is that it's backwards.

In the disease scenario, because of the alien/colonizer's more advanced technology, it is far more likely that their diseases will wipe us out.

[fraud]

we, as a human race, should not attack these aliens unless we know they're hostile. Otherwise we could have an interstellar war that we are eons behind:smalleek:. That is what's known as "First Contact"
I've always thought Humans are scared of anything diffrent. King-Kong for example.:smalltongue:

if aliens did invade though I'd try to befriend them and maybe even work for them. Try to teach them english or maybe they could teach me alienese or whatever...

[celestialkin]

The problem with this is that it's backwards.

In the disease scenario, because of the alien/colonizer's more advanced technology, it is far more likely that their diseases will wipe us out.

I already went over that...

[ghost_warlock]

I already went over that...

I feel it's important enough that it needed to be reiterated. :smalltongue:

Besides, I predict that, if this thread continues for another page or two the War of the Worlds fallacy will show it's ugly face again... :smallsigh:

[_Zoot_]

If they were not Hostile i would want to be friends with them.....

If they were i would hid under my bed untill they go away:smallcool:

[DigoDragon]

Attempt to establish peaceful communication. Any culture advanced enough to muster the resources and master the scientific knowledge to travel to other stars is doubtless advanced enough to understand that peaceful communication and trade is of superior utility to military conquest.

I'd go with this option (If only our own leaders would understand this). If aliens came, I'd see it more like the the movie Cocoon or such where they're not here for conquest. Maybe just vacation?

[Arioch]

If aliens invade, we Brits will be fine. We have Torchwood to deal with it. :smallbiggrin:

When they're not too busy drinking, fixing their own mistakes or having sex, that is...

[chiasaur11]

The problem with this is that it's backwards.

In the disease scenario, because of the alien/colonizer's more advanced technology, it is far more likely that their diseases will wipe us out.

Not necessarily.

After all, humans have immune systems that are majorly badass, and high tech means less native diseases, so less vaccinations, so weaker immune systems.

If they'd destroyed disease entirely for a couple generations, they'll be blindsided.

[celestialkin]

If aliens invade, we Brits will be fine. We have Torchwood to deal with it. :smallbiggrin:

When they're not too busy drinking, fixing their own mistakes or having sex, that is...

I hope they drop by you guys first...

However, mass panicking in a British accent would sound/look interesting.



Not necessarily.

After all, humans have immune systems that are majorly badass, and high tech means less native diseases, so less vaccinations, so weaker immune systems.

If they'd destroyed disease entirely for a couple generations, they'll be blindsided.

Well, if they are spending the centuries to millennium needed to travel here even at the speed of light, I am guessing they have planned for this. What else are you going to do for all that time? So why not watch some human television signals?

[Destichado]

Given the premise of the thread, in which we're being invaded by a superior force of hostile xenos, I'd disperse with other military personel and engage in asymetric warfare.

If we can't kill them directly -which is a bad bet; anything can be killed with enough effort- or if it's impractical to do so, we can destroy everything they're interested in. Either by scorched earth tactics or by attacking their means and methods of using it.

[InksGuy]

Not necessarily.

After all, humans have immune systems that are majorly badass, and high tech means less native diseases, so less vaccinations, so weaker immune systems.

If they'd destroyed disease entirely for a couple generations, they'll be blindsided.

There's a precedent:


No one would have believed, in the last years of the nineteenth century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space.

No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinized, as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this Earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us.

They may be advanced, but they're no match for our "minute, invisible allies"

If you know what it's from, you get a cookie. *cookie*

If you don't, you have only my pity... and retribution.

[Kaelaroth]

... Try and use their technology to recreate my Cosmic Cube.

[chiasaur11]

... Try and use their technology to recreate my Cosmic Cube.

Eh. Cosmic Cubes can be defeated with twinkies.


Has anyone suggested Hostess brand snack products yet?

Because those could stop the aliens.

[Haleyintraining]

I'd scream.

[King_of_GRiffins]

Eh. Cosmic Cubes can be defeated with twinkies.


Has anyone suggested Hostess brand snack products yet?

Because those could stop the aliens.

No aliens could withstand our heart-attack brand food :smallcool:
http://superdickery.com/images/stories/other/batman16.jpg

[sktarq]

One major problem with the idea that microbes and viruses and our other minute, invisable allies will save us in the face of alien invasion is that it assumes that the aliens are similar enough to earth life to interact and "infect" them at all.
If the aliens are silicon based, light based, use a high molar cyanide solution as their cellular solvent, or even if they have no cells, those bacteria may not be able to infect them at all. Perhaps their skin will think of the bacteria as food and thus our bacteria base may be the point of the invasion in the first place.
Also any alien race advanced enough to leap between the stars and take on a native "civilization" (even one primitie by their own scale) would have explored other planets and run into monocellular or eqivilant life forms before and learned to deal with them one way or another. It worked well in the book because it was the Marians first trip off their own planet on any scale. They were not a race that had already colonized other palents before.
Thus I don't think we can relay on the ameoba to help us against the aliens.

[hamishspence]

aliens as hidden, and sending the things you face as basically harvesters, that break all life down for consumption, might get around virus issue, even if aliens are organic.

[chiasaur11]

One major problem with the idea that microbes and viruses and our other minute, invisable allies will save us in the face of alien invasion is that it assumes that the aliens are similar enough to earth life to interact and "infect" them at all.
If the aliens are silicon based, light based, use a high molar cyanide solution as their cellular solvent, or even if they have no cells, those bacteria may not be able to infect them at all. Perhaps their skin will think of the bacteria as food and thus our bacteria base may be the point of the invasion in the first place.
Also any alien race advanced enough to leap between the stars and take on a native "civilization" (even one primitie by their own scale) would have explored other planets and run into monocellular or eqivilant life forms before and learned to deal with them one way or another. It worked well in the book because it was the Marians first trip off their own planet on any scale. They were not a race that had already colonized other palents before.
Thus I don't think we can relay on the ameoba to help us against the aliens.

The whole "not close enough to infect" is totally fair.

But assuming they'd have attacked someone else first is a little odd.

It may be just us and them, period.

[Collin152]

No aliens could withstand our heart-attack brand food :smallcool:
http://superdickery.com/images/stories/other/batman16.jpg

... But... they eat gold... zwah?
Are Twinkies made of gold now?

[chiasaur11]

... But... they eat gold... zwah?
Are Twinkies made of gold now?

Twinkies are whatever they want to be.
They're the snack food equivolent of Bill Brasky.

[sktarq]

The whole "not close enough to infect" is totally fair.

But assuming they'd have attacked someone else first is a little odd.

It may be just us and them, period.

Who said anything about attacked? They are just likely to have found bacteria or something similar before they found us on a different planet in their history as space farers and learned to deal with it. Simple life forms would be more common and thus much more likely to be delt with more often than something multicelular with differeniated tissues.


@V even those who hate traitors within their own ranks may well have use for traitors of the "other side".

[Inhuman Bot]

Attempt to make contact peacefully. If that didn't work out, I'd throw myself on their mercy and sell out my fellow humans in exchange for survival. Who knows, they might make me their vassal.

...What? Who needs morality?

You better hope they don't hate traitors.

[celestialkin]

One major problem with the idea that microbes and viruses and our other minute, invisable allies will save us in the face of alien invasion is that it assumes that the aliens are similar enough to earth life to interact and "infect" them at all.
If the aliens are silicon based, light based, use a high molar cyanide solution as their cellular solvent, or even if they have no cells, those bacteria may not be able to infect them at all. Perhaps their skin will think of the bacteria as food and thus our bacteria base may be the point of the invasion in the first place.
Also any alien race advanced enough to leap between the stars and take on a native "civilization" (even one primitie by their own scale) would have explored other planets and run into monocellular or eqivilant life forms before and learned to deal with them one way or another. It worked well in the book because it was the Marians first trip off their own planet on any scale. They were not a race that had already colonized other palents before.
Thus I don't think we can relay on the ameoba to help us against the aliens.

Wait, you mean they are not all green/blue/etc, have HUGE boobies, dress nearly nakedly, and want to have sweet lovings with us?

Damn. :smallannoyed:

[SurlySeraph]

Wait, you mean they are not all green/blue/etc, have HUGE boobies, dress nearly nakedly, and want to have sweet lovings with us?

Damn. :smallannoyed:

http://www.timboucher.com/journal/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/alien-queen-kali-cobra-sex-death4.jpg

She wuvs you.

[sktarq]

She wuvs you.
What you couldn't find a face hugger who wants to get intimate:smallamused::smallwink:?

[Holammer]

You better hope they don't hate traitors.

Bah! "Badguys killing traitors selling out their own kind" is one overused cliché that might just have it's own TvTropes page. It's just propaganda to keep you from doing the smart thing :smallwink:

[Felixaar]

I sure as hell wouldn't join the Federation.

[Archonic Energy]

By which I mean, what would you do to aid your loved ones in such an event (forming a millita counts)?

you have assumed that they are aren't already here...

such asumptions ususally prove fatal. :smallamused:
what?
...
i can do paranoid rantings well

[Tengu_temp]

If you know what it's from, you get a cookie. *cookie*

If you don't, you have only my pity... and retribution.

I don't think if there's anyone here who's not familiar with War of the Worlds.

[mangosta71]

My course of action depends on the alien women. If they're hot, I sell out the human race in exchange for a spot in their breeding program. If they're fugly, I trigger a worldwide nuclear holocaust, and they can scrape whatever resources are left out of the charred, radioactive ruins.

[chiasaur11]

My course of action depends on the alien women. If they're hot, I sell out the human race in exchange for a spot in their breeding program. If they're fugly, I trigger a worldwide nuclear holocaust, and they can scrape whatever resources are left out of the charred, radioactive ruins.

What if they're wusses with really cool ships?

[celestialkin]

What if they're wusses with really cool ships?

Beautiful Star Trek-like alien women breeding program > humanity


Humanity aint done squat for me.

[chiasaur11]

Beautiful Star Trek-like alien women breeding program > humanity


Humanity aint done squat for me.

Or...
You could teach them "the thing you earth men call love" save mankind, be a hero, control their military, and get filthy rich, all at once.

Don't make enemies you don't need to make.

[InksGuy]

I don't think if there's anyone here who's not familiar with War of the Worlds.

Then bring on the Cookies!

[Sam]

We die as they slag the world from orbit. Or, if hey invade, we die when they slag the planet from orbit when someone does something stupid.

[SurlySeraph]

I am shocked at the number of traitors and defeatists in this thread. Don't our schools imbue our children with a healthy level of xenophobia anymore?

[celestialkin]

I am shocked at the number of traitors and defeatists in this thread. Don't our schools imbue our children with a healthy level of xenophobia anymore?

Beautiful Star Trek-like alien women breeding program > xenophobia



...
Don't make enemies you don't need to make.

Is that a threat chiasaur?

I'll take you down too dude! No one shall get in the way of my glorious alien lordesses!

Afterward, once I have disposed of your body, and humanity is vanquished, I shall die an honorable death for my benevolent masters in the hopes of improving their species through snoo-snoo. :smallamused:

[turkishproverb]

Look for the Guy with the Police Box, and ask him what to do.

If that fails, look for the people in single color per person jumpsuits and tell them where to head.

[Ganurath]

It depends on the invasion type:

1. Violent and bloody: Ranging from Zerg to Borg to Tzeentch Chaos. Between language barriers, the technology gap, and the alien psychology, we're boned. Do nothing.

2. Slavers: Dark Eldar at worst, Tau at best. Sell out my coworkers long enough to get into contact with someone I can communicate with, and explain my relative strengths and weaknesses so that I'll get a job relative to my abilities. Probably a tutor-slave, or maybe a bodyguard if they can give me weapons that can't be used against those my charge forbids me from harming.

3. Economic Dominion: A coalition of races that assimilates sentient cultures into its system to power its growth with the demand for products, ambition, and creativity that robotics could never emulate. I'd accept the quiet dominion, and study alien psychology to find out which races have mindsets most compatible with high-functioning autistics.


I am shocked at the number of traitors and defeatists in this thread. Don't our schools imbue our children with a healthy level of xenophobia anymore?Modern culture is leaning more toward tolerance of new ideas and pragmaticism. We do respect certain old sayings, though, such as "Don't bring a knife to a gun fight."

[Jayngfet]

I've had plans for a super powered armor for a while, totally realistic.

Bullet proof vest, utility belt(distractions, lighters, energy drink, keys and such), stun glove, those laser resistant goggles, helmets and pads. Cut and shaped hard armor plates to protect arms and legs, knife, the torch(flashlight that burns), and of course a gun(preferably high powered).

With all of these things are avalable to the average joe and make me well protected.

I just need five thousand dollars and some time.

So with that I could take out something seriously powerful.

I'd rather they scrape the tainted, radioactive remains of whatever they came for than lose than give up, I'd reduce earth to a bunch of asteroids before they got it.

[V Junior]

I'd nick some alien tech, probably intelligence enhancers, and apply it to a common species that has infiltrated every sector of this planets - namely, cats. The cats would be so grateful to me for giving them intelligence (and, of course, the ability to speak) that they would make me their leader. I'd proably also use some genes-modifiers too, so that cats could walk on two legs and I looked a bit, well.. cattish.

I'd then get my feline army to destroy the alien threats, using them as saboteurs, spies, messengers, warriors, ninjas (in teams of one, of course), etc.

The humans would be so grateful the the cats for saving them that they would make the feline leader thier world leader. And, since I'm the cats' leader, I'm the ruler of the world!

Who says I can't use an alien threat (and thier superior tech) to my advantage?

[Felixaar]

Huh. Y'kno I'd have to go with the guy suggesting the hot alien breeding program thing.

[loopy]

Probably get disintegrated by one of their Mega-Death Rays. :smallbiggrin:

[Beholder1995]

This is probably the funniest thread I've read in a while.

If the aliens were just doing a hostile, homicidal takeover, I'd just pray, then wait for them to reduce the earth to a radioactive chunk of heated rock.

If they had an actual purpose for invading, i.e. enslavement, empire-building, etc. I'd just go along with it. Who knows? Maybe they're benevolent. It might be cool.

If it was entirely peaceful, like, a proposal to join some kind of intergalactic organization, again, I'd just go with it. Let the world leaders figure it out. :smalltongue:

[tribble]

If it's a violent genocide like Zerg or borg, I'd make my peace with God. Assimilators, I'd just be cool with it as long as they didn't tell me I had to worship their god, or tell me I was obsolete.

[chiasaur11]

I am shocked at the number of traitors and defeatists in this thread. Don't our schools imbue our children with a healthy level of xenophobia anymore?

I know man. I tell you, when the space monsters invade, and the collaborators are used as cannon fodder or food, I will totally be saying I told you so.

This kind of Griff like behavior must be duly punished.
I recommend making kids read Ethan Frome in schools again. That'll take the Xeno sympathizerhood right out of 'em!

[mangosta71]

I recommend making kids read Ethan Frome in schools again. That'll take the Xeno sympathizerhood right out of 'em!

Being forced to read that again would make me betray humanity even faster so that the authors of such stories are silenced forever as soon as possible.

[Ganurath]

I'd nick some alien tech, probably intelligence enhancers, and apply it to a common species that has infiltrated every sector of this planets - namely, cats. The cats would be so grateful to me for giving them intelligence (and, of course, the ability to speak) that they would make me their leader. I'd proably also use some genes-modifiers too, so that cats could walk on two legs and I looked a bit, well.. cattish.

I'd then get my feline army to destroy the alien threats, using them as saboteurs, spies, messengers, warriors, ninjas (in teams of one, of course), etc.

The humans would be so grateful the the cats for saving them that they would make the feline leader thier world leader. And, since I'm the cats' leader, I'm the ruler of the world!

Who says I can't use an alien threat (and thier superior tech) to my advantage?Klaus Wulfenbach already tried that. Cats are still cats.

[turkishproverb]

Klaus Wulfenbach already tried that. Cats are still cats.

and as such completely unreliable in all but one respect.

[Unique]

and as such completely unreliable in all but one respect.

Their tastiness?

[V Junior]

Klaus Wulfenbach already tried that. Cats are still cats.

...

Yeah, well... I'd be doing what others before me (read: Wolfenbach) tried to do, but I'll be a lot more succesful!

((GG rocks. And yes, the King of all Cats is my favourite character.))

And as for the Brit who mentioned Torchwood... what about Sarah Jane, Luke, Clyde, Maria, Mr. Smith and (of course) K-9? Why can't they team up with Torchwood?

Or would TW be a bad influence on the kids?

Or the Doctor?

[turkishproverb]

Their tastiness?

being unreliable. :smallamused:

[Sam]

You people are such optimists. We are at the bottom of a gravity well- to xenos, we would be a backwards nuisance. After all, we have nothing they would want. And if we act up... Colony Drop!

An actual invasion is most likely to be some xeno smuck with delusions of grandeur. He will probably want to be boss, have the world bow at his feet and the planets artists cater to him- our food and people won't fit him. Not much you can gain, although if he likes OoTS...

[Deepblue706]

If aliens invaded, I'd challenge them to FISTICUFFS!

[Terumitsu]

You know... If they liked swing dancing and a good ale away from the pig's snout.... I would say Fistcuffs would be a valid way to go...

But, seriously now... Okay, as serious as possible then.

I would say that I would hope that they are friendlies... If not, well, I collect dangerous objects for a reason. I'd likely die chock-full of laser fire while defending my books. Because it's obvious that any evil alien race would hate books.

[chiasaur11]

You know... If they liked swing dancing and a good ale away from the pig's snout.... I would say Fistcuffs would be a valid way to go...

But, seriously now... Okay, as serious as possible then.

I would say that I would hope that they are friendlies... If not, well, I collect dangerous objects for a reason. I'd likely die chock-full of laser fire while defending my books. Because it's obvious that any evil alien race would hate books.

If they had any clue what they were.

If not, give 'em "The Chocolate War" and watch them suicide in depression.

[Veneficus]

Well, I found this a while ago. Its the perfect solution to aliens :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrRCR0iOMr0

Still makes me laugh...

[Jayngfet]

I wonder I f I can mount one of those huge high powered lasers and the torch (http://www.wickedlasers.com/lasers/Wicked_Lights-74-0.html) on a motorcycle.

Nothing says "get the hell off my planet" like deadly burns at 80mpd.

[Trizap]

really, any race advanced enough to travel across galaxies has no need for violence.

alien invasion would be a contradiction in terms, if aliens came they would say "why hello humans! we have been studying your multiple languages for X years so that we can speak to you, please take us to your leaders so that we can negotiate a peaceful agreement between our two races, theres no need to be afraid, we don't even have weapons on these things."

[TheThan]

really, any race advanced enough to travel across galaxies has no need for violence.

alien invasion would be a contradiction in terms, if aliens came they would say "why hello humans! we have been studying your multiple languages for X years so that we can speak to you, please take us to your leaders so that we can negotiate a peaceful agreement between our two races, theres no need to be afraid, we don't even have weapons on these things."

Then every nation in the world gets turned into a puppet government just long enough for them to finish establishing full control over our planet an dominating humanity.

[chiasaur11]

Then every nation in the world gets turned into a puppet government just long enough for them to finish establishing full control over our planet an dominating humanity.


Until they're killed with physics and crowbars.

[SurlySeraph]

really, any race advanced enough to travel across galaxies has no need for violence.

I doubt it. The most (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human#War) advanced (http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D00EEDE1139F930A25756C0A9619582 60) races (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rogue_elephant#Elephant_rage) that we know of can be brutally violent, and I see no reason why having better technology would make them any more peaceful. If anything, better technology just provides more efficient means of conducting violence.

[tribble]

that chimpanzee article sounds more like The Onion than the NYTimes.

[chiasaur11]

that chimpanzee article sounds more like The Onion than the NYTimes.

That's Chimps for you.

[Pocketa]

This AND a zombie thread?

Isn't this a DnD forum?

Okay, so what would I do?

I'd give them Spore.

[Zeful]

really, any race advanced enough to travel across galaxies has no need for violence.

True, but that's not because their enlightened because of advanced technology, it's because they'd expect the inferior species to simply bow to their whims. When we don't we'll get owned. Here's why:
There collision detection system needs to able to find everything moving toward the ship at a distance more than twice it's speed per processor cycle (which themselves need to be ungodly fast). It also needs to differentiate between threats to the ship and space dust. This would allow them to count the bullets being shot in there direction from the surface not to mention every nuclear missle launch.
Unless their method of FTL removes them from normal space, they'll need a point defence system capable of destroying rocks and other objects that the Collision Detection System pings as a threat. This would have to be automatic otherwise it would be useless. A point defence system would intercept any missile launch from the surface automaticly. If they were switched from automatic, they could level any city on the same side of the planet to rubble in minutes. The system has a limit of the number of objects it can effect at once but it can deal with individual threats easily.
Now the hull, it has to withstand the impact of everything in the ships path, unless, once again, the FTL system removes the ship from normal space. This includes the broken up rocks the Point Defence System makes. It also has to 1) protect the crew and equipment from the myriad of radiations that exist in space, 2)keep the atmosphere of the ship in the ship, and 3) keep the ship at a a stable temperature. This means no temperature readings, and no effect from the whole of Earthen weaponry (if it manages to even hit the hull).

Any ship capable of reaching Earth has the technological capacity to bend us over their knee. From orbit, making whatever viruses we have moot.

[Lupy]

Easy... Enterprise... Enterprise?... Do you copy? We've gotten Voyager, every battlestar we could find, and the rebellion for good measure, and we're gonna have one helluva fight for the earth against some cliche aliens, you want in?

[Threeshades]

By which I mean, what would you do to aid your loved ones in such an event (forming a millita counts)?

Two words:
ZERG RUSH

[chiasaur11]

Hey, do they have defenses against human snarkiness?

Because that's one of our most time tested weapons. Within a week, biting sarcasm will have them on their puny knees.

[Zeful]

That of course assumes they can understand us.

[Unique]

That of course assumes they can understand us.

I'm pretty sure bitter old man is universally understood.

[SurlySeraph]

I'm pretty sure bitter old man is universally understood.

How do you say "Get off my lawn!" in Klingon?

[Quiet Sound]

True, but that's not because their enlightened because of advanced technology, it's because they'd expect the inferior species to simply bow to their whims. When we don't we'll get owned. Here's why:

Alternatively, they could point one of their interstellar engines in our direction and turn it on. Hello Chicxulub Crater #2!

[Holammer]

How do you say "Get off my lawn!" in Klingon?

"yotlhwIj SulItHa’be’chugh"... I might have gotten the quote wrong. But that's what google told me :smalltongue:

[Aristeidis]

I would rush to find them and yell out: Don't hurt anyone, I am right here! Thank God you guys came back to find me, this place is a ****hole! Let's go back! hahahahah

[Shraik]

Scare them away with the musical wonder that is Journey

[Hectonkhyres]

As a civilization:

If they just want to make you a part of their empire, just wanting to make us one more colony among thousands, I say we make some form of settlement that allows us to keep some amount of self-government in exchange for cooperation. If it works, we don't get crushed into man-jelly and we can now devote our time to stealing as much alien godtech as is physically possible and generally modernize our industry. At a later date we can always decide to start a civil war at some later date or just eat our masters' empire from the inside like a cancer.

If this is one of those empires that wants to wipe us out and put down a colony of their own citizens instead, we have no choice to fight unto the last man. What would we have to lose? I would even go so far as to use nuclear weapons to 'salt the fields', so to speak. One final chance to spit in their collective eye. If we do it right, perhaps we can make the world nasty enough for them to just turn around and go home... while leaving some mutated fragment of mankind alive to someday rebuild.

As an individual:

If one more rifleman might actually do some good, I would join with whatever group of suicidal monkeys is up in arms and go march off to die. Even if a thousand of us die to kill one of them and we still lose, it would be worth it. If no amount of untrained soldiers can kill one of them (ie: they send self-repairing robot redshirts by the million or stay in orbit dropping asteroids) I find a mineshaft or piddly little farm somewhere to hide in the hopes that they leave something behind when they are done.

[Zeful]

As an individual:

If one more rifleman might actually do some good, I would join with whatever group of suicidal monkeys is up in arms and go march off to die. Even if a thousand of us die to kill one of them and we still lose, it would be worth it. If no amount of untrained soldiers can kill one of them (ie: they send self-repairing robot redshirts by the million or stay in orbit dropping asteroids) I find a mineshaft or piddly little farm somewhere to hide in the hopes that they leave something behind when they are done.

Easy, don't shoot anything upwards. The ship will be able to pick it up. The planet will mask many of the cars and stuff moving on the surface from the Collision Detection System, so long as their not moving upwards. Also you want impact weapons that exploit the use of stiff armor (most likely type used on foot soldiers), like a .50 or bigger. However if their from a higher gravity planet, their armor will be sturdier and guns more efficient. Aim for head or arm areas, those are harder to recover from and help save the lives of your fellow soldiers. Also guerilla tactics are a must. Lay mines, deadfalls, tripwires, attack from the shadows. Anything to make you harder to hit and them easier. Droping a building full of HCL/battery acid on them might eat away at their armor. In short don't pull punches, don't grant mercy this is the survival of the species.

Okay I'm done for now.

[mangosta71]

You're assuming that the aliens have anything resembling human physiology. I still say my best bet is selling all of you to them.

[Zeful]

Carbon is the most common 4-bond substance in the universe, therefore most complex life will be carbon based. From what I understand of biology and anthropology indicates that civilization is built through tool use. Most tools require some way to grip them, therefore some opposable digit is needed. Next is a method of using said opposable digit, so either four feet and two hands, or two hands two feet or some permutation in-between. The planet's gravity sets boned and muscle density standards, as well as the tensile strength of the technology.

So the aliens will have some kind of biology similar to humans. Enough so that head and arm shots are possible. Internal organ's are another story.

Also our best bet as a race is to kiss your loved ones good buy because nothing on this planet can stop an alien from dominating this planet within 24 hours of it's arrival.

[mangosta71]

On arms/hands, yes, most likely. However, there's no guarantee that a head shot will be as detrimental to an alien as it is to a human. Their head might contain nothing more than their digestive system, so it would be the equivalent of a gut shot. This is assuming that our weapons can even reach and harm them.

Carbon is certainly the most common atom that can form up to 4 bonds on this planet. Who's to say that silicon isn't more common on another?

Selling humanity into slavery at the hands of the new overlords still sounds like the best option to me.

[charl]

Join them, if they are in the conquering but not killing mode. If that won't work, fight them, and probably die in the process.

This of course assumes the aliens aren't friendly.

[Zeful]

On arms/hands, yes, most likely. However, there's no guarantee that a head shot will be as detrimental to an alien as it is to a human. Their head might contain nothing more than their digestive system, so it would be the equivalent of a gut shot. This is assuming that our weapons can even reach and harm them.

Carbon is certainly the most common atom that can form up to 4 bonds on this planet. Who's to say that silicon isn't more common on another?

Selling humanity into slavery at the hands of the new overlords still sounds like the best option to me.
Evolutionary biology doesn't work that way. However I will agree that a headshot might not mean death, but it will throw their aim off.

Carbon is made through solar fusion, silicon is not. Also the lower the number on the Periodic table of the elements the more of it is present in the universe. There is more hydrogen than helium present in the universe, for example.

[ApeofLight]

I say nuke 'em. I mean we have the power to nuke our planet to destruction several times over why not use it on aliens instead.

[Hectonkhyres]

On arms/hands, yes, most likely. However, there's no guarantee that a head shot will be as detrimental to an alien as it is to a human. Their head might contain nothing more than their digestive system, so it would be the equivalent of a gut shot. This is assuming that our weapons can even reach and harm them.
I have a feeling our invaders would have developed light, full body armor and wouldn't be susceptible to most light arms fire. A 50-caliber will still probably penetrate... but I wouldn't exactly call that sniping. Hit something other than one of the creature's limbs and, if the thing penetrates, the thing is dead.

Dead and jelly. Not only would you put a hole you could stick both fists through into the abomination... the slug might well bounce off the rear armor of the suit and go pinballing through its internal organs. I don't care where you are hit, you are dead.


Selling humanity into slavery at the hands of the new overlords still sounds like the best option to me.
And they gladly accept. Of course you are easily replaceable by the next quisling to come along and so they offer you little in the way of hightech protection. You die fast... or, if you are captured rather than just sniped or blown up, slow. Very. Very. Slow.


This of course assumes the aliens aren't friendly.
War and assimilation might very well be their way of being friendly.


Carbon is made through solar fusion, silicon is not. Also the lower the number on the Periodic table of the elements the more of it is present in the universe. There is more hydrogen than helium present in the universe, for example.

Except for iron. We have a disproportionate amount of that because it is the first element a star produces that it can't profitably fuse into anything else. It builds up in old stars like cholesterol in a fat man's arteries... until it eventually helps kill the star.

I say nuke 'em. I mean we have the power to nuke our planet to destruction several times over why not use it on aliens instead.
1) They can detect and laser any missile we launch before it gets to them.

2) Their mothership is probably parked in too high an orbit to actually hit.

3) Most of our nukes aren't even mounted on ICBMs... relying on conventional bombers to drop them the old fashioned way.

4) 99% of the ones manufactured by the old Soviet Union probably won't even work.

[Zeful]

I say nuke 'em. I mean we have the power to nuke our planet to destruction several times over why not use it on aliens instead.

Yes why don't we nuke them?
I've got three good reasons:

* Their collision detection system needs to able to find everything moving toward the ship at a distance more than twice it's speed per processor cycle (which themselves need to be ungodly fast). It also needs to differentiate between threats to the ship and space dust. This would allow them to count the bullets being shot in there direction from the surface not to mention every nuclear missle launch.
* Unless their method of FTL removes them from normal space, they'll need a point defence system capable of destroying rocks and other objects that the Collision Detection System pings as a threat. This would have to be automatic otherwise it would be useless. A point defence system would intercept any missile launch from the surface automaticly. If they were switched from automatic, they could level any city on the same side of the planet to rubble in minutes. The system has a limit of the number of objects it can effect at once but it can deal with individual threats easily.
* Now the hull, it has to withstand the impact of everything in the ships path, unless, once again, the FTL system removes the ship from normal space. This includes the broken up rocks the Point Defence System makes. It also has to 1) protect the crew and equipment from the myriad of radiations that exist in space, 2)keep the atmosphere of the ship in the ship, and 3) keep the ship at a a stable temperature. This means no temperature readings, and no effect from the whole of Earthen weaponry (if it manages to even hit the hull).

A cargo vessel with one technosavy being aboard can dominate the earth within 24 hours, and there's nothing we can do to stop it.

[Hectonkhyres]

A cargo vessel with one technosavy being aboard can dominate the earth within 24 hours, and there's nothing we can do to stop it.

I wouldn't quite go that far. They might end up destroying all large scale, organized resistance in the first 24 hours... but that is a far cry from running the place. I am assuming that the bastard(s) up there want to have a kingdom of one form or another actually doing stuff for them rather than just beating up our planet for bragging rights.

[Zeful]

Controlling the life or death of an entire 6 billion plus population isn't domination?

I must be thinking of a different word.

[Hectonkhyres]

Controlling the life or death of an entire 6 billion plus population isn't domination?

I must be thinking of a different word.
Indeed, you are. When I step into a cockroach-infested New York apartment with enough bugbombs to worry Homeland Security, I have not yet achieved total domination. That will be mine only when the cockroaches start building little ziggurat-temples and begin sacrificing their children in my honor.

[Zeful]

Either way, one person with one ship, can render the whole of earth's weaponry impotent.

[Hectonkhyres]

Either way, one person with one ship, can render the whole of earth's weaponry impotent.
Yes... and? They still end up sitting around in orbit polishing their massdrivers while mankind does what mankind does. Many nations try to dig in with Cheyenne Mountain-type facilities of various shapes while their civilians attempt to do the same in old guerrilla/survivalist tradition. Your roach infestation is going to ground and its only going to get harder to root out.

That isn't the same as saying you couldn't dominate the earth. Just that it would take more than twenty four hours. Your best bet would probably to offer really good terms to whatever roaches agree to serve you... namely they don't have decimated by falling rocks and they get to be the house slaves, so to speak. Some nation is going to say yes and you can have those roaches enslave all the other roaches for you. You can help your newfound minions by softening up their enemies with orbital bombardment and perhaps some fancy (but vastly outdated from your standards) weapons technology. It might even be better to wave the carrot before the stick.

Of course you could always just orbitally bombard us until it takes two years for our oceans to recondense... but that has problems of its own. You have to perform a costly process of xenoforming followed by shipping in your own colonists or slaves. They have to make factories that make factories that make the factories you need to make the godtech you can actually use. It would just be a pain in the ass and, if you wanted to go that route, you would just skip Earth and head straight to Mars.

[Galileo]

If there's one thing Doctor Who has taught us, it's that every alien race has a single massive weakness that humans can easily exploit.
Cybermen: gold in the air intake
Slitheen: acetic acid
Sontarans: probic vent in the neck
Therefore, all we need to do is stay back, observe them for a bit, and work out their weak point. Then attack. Failing that, we could always just run through the streets, looking for a strange blue box that wasn't there a couple of minutes ago.

Yeah, I'm being facetious.

...There's no call for it.

[powerday]

Eat Them...

[Exachix]

Move to switzerland.

Oh wait, that's in case of massive inter-continental war, this is possibly massive inter-planetary war.

Urm...

Hope?

[OverdrivePrime]

After assuring the safety of my loved ones in the underground bunker system far beneath Milwaukee (handwave), I'd introduce the aliens to MMORPGs. Once they fail their saving throw vs WoW, I'll lead the resistance to take over their star cruisers while the aliens are busy level grinding.

[Texas Jedi]

I'd move to Texas. Because that's were all the guns are.

Damn, Straight.