How to find out her ringsize?

[evisiron]

First off, this question is not likely to be an issue for a long time, but will hopefully become an issue eventually. The thought just came to mind today. :smallsmile:

For men about to propose, how do you find out what your girlfriends ring size is without ending up buying a separate ring or triggering an "Omg, is he about to propose?!" reaction?

[FoE]

Steal her jewelry. This can also help you generate the funds you will need to buy an engagement ring. :smalltongue:

[Cristo Meyers]

Steal her jewelry. This can also help you generate the funds you will need to buy an engagement ring. :smalltongue:

This works. Find one of her rings and get a size off of it.

Or, if you're lazy like me, don't bother to get it sized until afterwords. Sure, it's not as romantic *vomits*, but the chances of you accidentaly sizing the ring wrong are virtually nil.

[rickvoid]

^ Y'know, that first reply reminds me of some advice a good friend once gave me, when I confided to him that I thought my then fiance was pregnant: Punch her in the womb.

I didn't know whether to laugh or kill him.

Anyway, you're going to have to be sneaky to get this. My recommendation? Take her to a jewelry store in your local mall. Most of them will be more than happy to clean any of her rings while she's happily floating around the store. While she's busy doing that, find a way to let the salesperson know that you need to know the ring size, and that you're keeping it a secret from her. Have them write it down and slip it to you, something like that.

You could also call ahead, or drop by earlier, so they can get everything set up ahead of time. A lot of times people who work in places like that are sentimental and really enjoy this kind of stuff.

So, there you go. My two cents. Good luck!! :smallbiggrin:

[Tirian]

http://www.bluenile.com/ring_findsize_measure.asp -- so you don't even need to steal her jewelry as long as you be alone with one of her rings for a moment. Or ask her mother.

And don't go into it expecting that you know what specific style of setting she wants to wear on her hand for (hopefully) the rest of her life, especially if you are dedicated to catching her completely flat-footed. One strategy that makes sense to me is buying a stone you can afford, having it loosely set into a generic ring, proposing, and then shopping together for the permanent setting.

[Hzurr]

I actually just proposed to my girlfriend a week and a half ago, so I can be a bit useful here (yay!)


A few different options. First, if the actual proposal won't be for a while, and you're both fully aware that it won't be for a while, then make it clear and ask her. Just say, "Hey, I'm not planning on using this information anytime soon, but just so one day I'll know, what's your ring size?"

Alternate solution: Get one of her friends (who won't blab) or a parent/sister to find out for you.

Alternate solution: When you're at some goofy little store that sells things like mood rings, have both of you try them on just for kicks, and pay attention to which one fits her

Alternate solution: Get a size 6. It's the most common size, so if you have to take a complete guess, go with this.

Alternate solution: steal a piece of her jewelry. Be really, really careful, because if you get caught it could lead to spoiling the surprise, and if she misses it while you've got it stolen, that could lead to all sorts of weird problems.


On a side note, I wish you luck. Ring shopping was one of the single most stressful experiences of my life. I made the mistake early on of taking female friends that I trusted so I could get their opinion, and they made it 5 times worse. Fortunately, I knew what she wanted, and had it written down for almost 3 years before I actually proposed.

If it's possible to surprise her, I recommend it. I was able to catch her off guard thanks to many months of advanced planning on my part, and it was totally worth it. Getting engaged was possibly the best moment of my life thus far, and I'm counting down the days til the wedding.

[snoopy13a]

If you're really ready to pop the question, you can ask her parents. Asking her parents for permission before popping the question is a bit old-fashioned and not commonly done but it makes you appear classy and respectful in front of your future in-laws. After you tells her parents, ask her mother what the ringsize is. If she doesn't know, she should be able to get it for you fairly easily.

[Telonius]

Or, if you're lazy like me, don't bother to get it sized until afterwords. Sure, it's not as romantic *vomits*...

My wife might disagree. :smallwink:

Of course it might have something to do with the way I asked.

[Kaelaroth]

Don't get married! It's a deathtrap, a deathtrap! I have no idea, really, but I think it's sweet that you think about this kind of stuff. [/my less that two cents]

[rollfrenzy]

This is all good advice.

One further note, PAY ATTENTION to her. When she talks about whether she likes white gold or gold, or silver or whatever make a mental note. Pay attention to her reactions when she sees other girls rings. Little things like this can help you narrow down exactly what she wants.

If you are going to guess on her ring size, go a half size or so bigger than you think so that you can for sure get it onto her finger when the time comes, all good jewelry stores will give you free resizing if you need it.

Also, from personal experience, if you are planning on asking after a nice dinner and some wine, take into account if you are a nervous drinker and she is a slow eater. :smalleek:

[Cobra_Ikari]

This was something I had always wondered. Cute. =3

...though I think a lot more thought would be put into finding the perfect ring first.

[Cristo Meyers]

Heh, finding Lady Meyers' ring took about...30 minutes, tops.

Don't overthink this: a nice stone, a good cut, and a strong setting (by which I mean one that isn't likely to drop the stone after a bit of wear). Anything else is details.

[Hzurr]

Yeah, some of the other people mentioned it, but just to re-emphasize it. Find out what she likes, if at all possible. Most girls have known what kindof ring they want since they were 12, and you would be well advised not to screw it up.

Also, it's more important to find out what type of diamond she wants than what kindof setting. One costs a few hundred to change. The other can cost....significantly more.

If you just have no idea, than I recommend going with a traditional princess cut (the square one), in a Tiffany or Cathedral setting. It's nice, traditional, classy setting, and if it's not what she would prefer, then go in together and get the one she wants.

As far as what kindof metal, every girl has her preference, but in general, white gold/platinum is better for lighter skin, traditional gold better for darker skin (but again, every girl has her own particular preference)

[Krrth]

Heh. The easiest way? Do it like I did. walk into the store she works in, let her point out the one she wants.

Or, you could do it the other way. This has been mentioned by others, but just take her into a jewelry store and get her rings cleaned. Take her window shopping. Odds are, she'll see one she wants to try on.

[Charity]

Cut off her finger and steal it... whut?


'Find' a ring gauge around the place and ask her if she knows what it is, muck around with it, pay attention.

[evisiron]

There is lots of great advice here. Thank you very much to all who posted. :smallbiggrin:

[Seffbasilisk]

What I did before I asked my ex-fiancée, was to simply wear a ring of my own, and when she wore it, and it was rediculously loose on her finger, I simply asked what size her rings were.

[thubby]

i know when my cousin was proposed to, it was large.
my brother took his to be fiance ring shopping.
stealing a ring for sizing isn't a bad idea. why hadn't i thought of that :smallconfused:

[dish]

I would urge caution. A ring that fits on another finger, probably won't be the right size for the third finger of the left hand. I discovered that the third finger of my right hand and the third finger of my left hand are both different sizes.

The advice to get a bigger ring and then size it down seems sensible to me.

[Rei_Jin]

Whilst not on the topic of ringsize, an important thing to consider when getting an engagement ring is what kind of wedding bands you want to have.

If you're using gold (most people do), the higher the carat the softer it will be. If you get a 9 carat gold engagement ring, and an 18 carat gold wedding band, the engagement ring (if worn on the same finger) will over time wear down the wedding band. And much faster than would normally occur.

Make sure you use the same carat of gold in the rings!

[Charity]

Always get 18 carrot rings.

http://images.google.co.uk/url?q=http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1313/986635709_721224b4d1.jpg%3Fv%3D0&usg=AFQjCNGc-GbVte-0rb-Y88wehnblMhLyPQ

[Nychta]

I think it would be more practical to give her a nice gift when you propose, and go ring-shopping together when you're both ready. That way you get exactly what she wants.

[Xeluu]

I, personally, think one of the coolest ideas here was the idea of buying the diamond and getting it set in a temporary ring, then taking her to pick out her own. (Man, when/if I get proposed to, I definitely wouldn't mind that.)

Perhaps JUST a diamond in a setting when you propose? Or some other object of meaning.

Also: do you know which type of gold she likes? White gold? Yellow gold? Rose gold? I know my mom has her preferences, and I have mine, so chances are she will have a favorite of the three as well. (White gold and yellow gold are more common than rose, but you never know.)

You won't be able to get an accurate sizing from her unless you physically have her try on the ring. She may wear a ring that's a bit snug, or a bit loose. I would try and avoid taking a piece of her jewelry. If you got caught trying it.... ooo... bad times. I'd personally go the route of asking her mother before trying to borrow a ring from her. (And if it's not for her ring finger? It's not the right size anyway.)

[ghost_warlock]

I'd probably be sneaky and ask her mother - you might be able to get good advice on what kind of ring your lady wants in addition to the size. If you've never gotten along with the perhaps-soon-to-be-inlaws, it might be a good opportunity to build a better relationship with them by emphasizing your committment to the relationship/their daughter as well as your trust/reliance on them. If you do get along with them, the mom will probably **** herself with happiness/excitement. :smalltongue:

[Castaras]

Most girls have known what kindof ring they want since they were 12

We have?! :smalleek: News to me!

[Jack Squat]

What I plan on doing whenever the need arises is copy the spy movies.

Press some clay into something like an altoids tin, and stick that in your pocket. if you're feeling really James Bond-like, put the altoids back in the tin over the clay.

Sneak into her room and get her jewelry box. This is easy to do if she runs off to the bathroom real quick, or if you say you're going to the bathroom and they're close to the same place.

Take a ring and press into clay, then put it back into the jewelry box. Walk back to where you were humming the Mission Impossible theme.

Take the impression and either compare it to a sizing chart or take it to a jeweler where they can help you.

[randman22222]

What I plan on doing whenever the need arises is copy the spy movies.

Press some clay into something like an altoids tin, and stick that in your pocket. if you're feeling really James Bond-like, put the altoids back in the tin over the clay.

Sneak into her room and get her jewelry box. This is easy to do if she runs off to the bathroom real quick, or if you say you're going to the bathroom and they're close to the same place.

Take a ring and press into clay, then put it back into the jewelry box. Walk back to where you were humming the Mission Impossible theme.

Take the impression and either compare it to a sizing chart or take it to a jeweler where they can help you.

And pray she doesn't realize there's clay on her ring.

[Ego Slayer]

We have?! :smalleek: News to me!
Heheh. *hugs Cassie* News to me too. :smallbiggrin:

I always liked the idea of taking her to get a ring after you've proposed. Then you don't have to fumble around trying to find the right ring. Easier letting her pick out what she wants, plus... she totally gets exactly what she wants. Win-win, righto?

Well, maybe it's just me who doesn't exactly want the typical gold-and-diamond engagement ring? :smallconfused:

Anyway, best of luck to you, if/when the time comes. :smallbiggrin:

[Hzurr]

We have?! :smalleek: News to me!

Hmm...we've obviously been hanging out with very different people.

[dish]

I knew precisely which ring I wanted. But I think I was a bit older than 12 when I decided. In fact, it wasn't until I started looking at engagement rings that I suddenly realised that I knew (and had always known) which ring I wanted.
(Does that make any sense? It was the actual reality of being in a serious position to look at rings which release the knowledge into my mind.)

I got to choose my own ring. This means I got precisely what I wanted...but, the romance of being given a ring during the proposal would also have been very wonderful.

Swings and roundabouts. Depends on what you'd think she'd prefer - the big romantic moment, or the freedom to chose exactly what she wants to wear on her hand for the rest of her life.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

I confess to not reading the whole thread, but an idea has come to me. Follow these steps:

1. Pick an anniversary. First date, first kiss, first dance, first time you played Monopoly non-stop for three days...Whatever.
2. Explain to her that you are contemplating a gift for said anniversary, and that you want to take her to a jewelry store to get various bits of information.
3. Get and take notes on EVERYTHING. Neck size for the choker you're probably not going to buy, wrist size for the bracelet you'll never give her, and ring size for the possible engagement ring you WILL use some time down the line.
4. Once you have all the information jotted down, point behind her and shout, "LOOK! ELIVIS!" Then run away. :smallbiggrin:

In the end, a ring can always be re-sized, so even if her dimensions change for whatever reason, you can have your purchase fixed.

[Cristo Meyers]

I confess to not reading the whole thread, but an idea has come to me. Follow these steps:

1. Pick an anniversary. First date, first kiss, first dance, first time you played Monopoly non-stop for three days...Whatever.
2. Explain to her that you are contemplating a gift for said anniversary, and that you want to take her to a jewelry store to get various bits of information.
3. Get and take notes on EVERYTHING. Neck size for the choker you're probably not going to buy, wrist size for the bracelet you'll never give her, and ring size for the possible engagement ring you WILL use some time down the line.
4. Once you have all the information jotted down, point behind her and shout, "LOOK! ELIVIS!" Then run away. :smallbiggrin:

In the end, a ring can always be re-sized, so even if her dimensions change for whatever reason, you can have your purchase fixed.

I approve of and offically endorse this plan.

[Zephra]

guess, and get it resized. It's more important to have it when you propose, than to get it later--that's just lame. Or, ask her parents.

[Tirian]

I, personally, think one of the coolest ideas here was the idea of buying the diamond and getting it set in a temporary ring, then taking her to pick out her own. (Man, when/if I get proposed to, I definitely wouldn't mind that.)

Actually, that strategy came from a jewelry store in a town where I lived many (many) years ago, and visiting their website today I notice that they do not mention it. It might be that we are now in an age when a man can even get the diamond wrong if he buys a traditional round stone and she is set on a princess cut or (/em throws up in mouth a little) a heart-shaped diamond. Anyway, if you have a jeweler (and a girlfriend) you trust to respect your budget, be more focused on the marriage than the ring and everything will work out.

[wxdruid]

Another consideration to remember...

Not all girls want a diamond. I shopped for and designed my ring. It has a heart shaped man made emerald and a heart shaped man made blue sapphire in the settings. The two stones represented our birth months. So remember, not all women want a diamond, some have other gems that are their favorites.

[Hzurr]

be more focused on the marriage than the ring and everything will work out.

Most definately. The ring should be an added bonus to an engagement, not a requirement. If the girl isn't willing to say yes unless she has a ring (or unless she has a specific ring that she wants), then I'm going to go ahead and say that you shouldn't marry her. I mean, marriage is a life-long commitment (or at least, it should be), and odds are y'all will face much tougher things in married life than what kind of ring to get. If something as stupid as an engagement ring poses a significant barrier to marriage, I strongly recommend re-thinking the whole thing.

[Jack Squat]

And pray she doesn't realize there's clay on her ring.

It won't show up (at least not past what you can wipe off) if you only do a light press so you can get the size of the ring...you don't need to make a mold.

Besides, I wasn't expecting anyone to take me seriously once they read the "Mission Impossible" bit :smalltongue:

[Occasional Sage]

Another consideration to remember...

Not all girls want a diamond. I shopped for and designed my ring. It has a heart shaped man made emerald and a heart shaped man made blue sapphire in the settings. The two stones represented our birth months. So remember, not all women want a diamond, some have other gems that are their favorites.

This is the route I took, although I wasn't smart enough to have a interim ring for the proposal.

I'm getting married in five weeks ish, and we had a store (http://www.greenlakejewelry.com/) design and make both our rings. The staff worked very well with us to find out what we wanted and made wax models of the rings for us to look at and critique. They paid a lot of attention to how to get what we want, within our budget. They can also work entirely online in the design process.

Oh, and they don't charge extra for this.

[The Rose Dragon]

Buy the entire jeweler's. In fact, buy two entire jeweler's. That way, there is very little chance that you get all the rings sized wrong, and you get to show off.

Or do it like me and don't plan to buy any rings. Use a seashell instead.

[Voshkod]

You could sever one of her fingers "by accident." This will cause quite the distraction, allowing you to measure it while collecting it for reattachment.

Note: this might work better if you are a stage magician with years of training.

Alternatively, you can take my path - marry a woman who really dislikes jewelry and didn't want a ring at all.

[Syka]

What I want is to be proposed to with a ring pop. Seriously. I'm not even joking.

That way, we get some nice candy and can go shopping for a ring together so we can make sure it's something I'll be able to wear (I'm pretty rough on jewlery). So my vote is the use a substitute and go ring shopping later.

Heck, I'm not even sure I want a diamond. I like the classic Tiffany ring, but I want something a little more unique. I'd do our birth months but...mine is emerald and his is ruby, so I'd look like Christmas year round. :) You can never really go wrong by using a substitute until you can find a ring together.

Cheers~

[Agamid]

my brother just went through his then girlfriend's (now fiance) jewelry box and took one of her rings to the jewelers for sizing.
But then, they have lots of sleep-overs and work different hours - and her housemate is my brother's old housemate - so there was plenty of opportunity to get the ring, get it sized and return it with her even noticing.

also, it's no biggy if you need to get the ring resized. almost everyone i know (including both may parents) have had to have their wedding or engagement rings resized after they we given to them.

[SweetLikeLemons]

Ask her sister, if she has one. If she does have a dream ring all planned out, or a dream scenario for the proposal, her sister has probably heard about it. If not, her sister probably knows her general preferences, jewelry-wise. It is also possible that if things are looking like they might be headed toward engagement, she might have briefed her sister on ring size etc, as a precautionary measure. Not that I have done that or anything...

[Supagoof]

Hire a magician to make a quarter pop out of her ear. Then you can have him make her ring disappear....:smallbiggrin:

Or go "Sweet Home Alabama"* style and just take her to the Jewelry Store/Tiffanie's when you propose and tell her she can pick out any ring she wants.


*Yes, I watched that movie. Yes, I also had to go buy some tools soon afterwards to bulk up the man card.

[Hzurr]

What I want is to be proposed to with a ring pop. Seriously. I'm not even joking.


I don't know you, but you strike me as an awesome person.




*Yes, I watched that movie. Yes, I also had to go buy some tools soon afterwards to bulk up the man card.

Yeah...I know that feeling. I'll catch myself in a conversation with a friend or two sometimes about things that are...less than manly. Usually we realize it at about the same time, and say things like "...er...so, um...what do you think about football and guns and beef jerky and...things?" to try to cover it up.

[Trog]

Cut off her finger and steal it... whut?

Dang. Beaten to the punch.

Also you can look into certified non "blood diamond" diamonds. I know if I ever bought another I would be sure to ensure that it was a conflict-free one.

Setting is also important. Make sure it is sturdy without crowding the stone. Cause take it from someone who's been through it. Losing the diamond off of the ring sucks. You can never seem to find the came cut again. My ex was beside herself. Also buy insurance for it.

[EmeraldRose]

Like Dish, I advise not just randomly taking one of her rings. Assuming it is even one she still wears, it will not likely be the same size as the wedding ring finger. My left hand finger is a quarter size smaller than my right hand, as I am right handed.

Also, don't just assume diamonds. I don't have a diamond, and didn't want one.

I'd suggest getting into a conversation about favorite stone types.

Or, you could let her pick it out with you. If you know you will be getting married, this can be fun.

[Adlan]

My Intention (well, it was the plan when I had a Girlfriend, now I'm single again) was too buy a cheap, sparkly ring, that would look nice when I proposed, and tell her how much I could afford to spend on the ring, and let her torture me with shopping for a ring as long as she wanted.