Favorite Quotes

[snowbard55]

Simple, just post your favorite quotes from Order of the Stick and who said them. Can be from the main strip or any of the books. I'll start...

:belkar: I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!!
:vaarsuvius: It's almost as if the universe is trying to deliberatley force some form of arbitrary equality between those of us who can reshape matter with our thoughts and those who cannot!
:xykon: REALLY badass.
:elan: Time to buckle our swash!

[Linkavitch]

You pretty much said all of my fav's. Along with. . .
:roy:Well, I do feel more. . .intimidating.
:mitd: Wait, what gate??
:durkon: Ahh! Tha trees are attackin'!

[Hokum]

pretty much all of thogs genius observations :smallsmile:




:thog: "Thog like costume. Thog get in touch with inner greeness."
Cap'n Scoundrel: "But... you're green on the outside."
:thog: "Thog get in touch with his outer greeness too."


:thog: "Oh, little ice cream friends! Thog delays boredom-driven rampage only for you!"

:thog: "Prison changed Thog!"
:elan: "We were in there only for 40 minutes!"
:thog: "Prison changed Thog quickly"



absolutely priceless.

[Texas Jedi]

:haley: Vuprz rmmrtz eiim mi mqp srtp! (Sneak Attack Boot to the head!)

:belkar: I took Craft Dsturbing Mental Images as my feat last level.

:xykon:Flying zombies! I can't believe I never thought of it before!

:elan: Behold! BANJO the CLOWN -- God of Puppets!!!

:redcloak: Wow. You know, with those short stubby little bodies, you'd never think they had the agility too....

Those are just a few I can think of off the top of my head.

[SnailMan]

:thog: Thog brought breadcrumbs!

[Lee]

Umm, that God, not sure what he's called

"Dude, don't taunt the god-killing abomination."

[Texas Jedi]

Umm, that God, not sure what he's called

"Dude, don't taunt the god-killing abomination."

That was Loki talking to Thor.

[Manoftyr]

:belkar: "I have an idea it begins with S and rhymes with litting their throats!"

:belkar: "You make Paladins clean the litter box, you're like...my idol"

:belkar: "Grr I have creepy deep-seated emotional problems! Die-Die-Die!" *okay well that was really Roy's imagination and not Belkar, but it was still awesome*

:belkar: "Wait, let me get this straight...the more worshipers you get for your little doll there, the more Roy will get zapped?"
:elan: "I suppose that's one way of looking at it"
:belkar: "ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY BANJO!!"

:elan: "Embrace Banjo's teachings and lo, thou shall be bountiful for all days!"
:roy: "Hmm, yeah, I don't think so, maybe if you could find me a marionette to worship or possibly some kind of Pantomime horse, I'd consider it"

:belkar: "Stop oppressing my culture you ethnocentric bitch!"

:belkar: "When in doubt, set it on fire!"


And these are just off the top of my head, I have a ton

[Thant]

I can't remember of some good quotes from all of the OotS right now (which weren't mentioned already in this thread) but here are some:
...
:roy: Trouser Titan:smallbiggrin:
:belkar: What? Leprosy.
Cliffport Police Chief: Did someone apply half-moron template to your base creature?
Lord Shojo: 90% of words that he said in the strip. He is that much cool. I mean it.

[R.O.A.]

:cliffport chief: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing pixie dust.

:smallbiggrin:

[Staven]

I like when O-Chul rules lawyers haley into depression. Elan did get lucky that night, though.

Other than that?
:xykon: It's funny because it's true! <Easily my favorite quote from OOTS.

[Linkavitch]

:xykon: YAHTZEE!!
:vaarsuvius: Exccellent. . .(talking about the new level he had acquired.[it was creepy])
:thog: why thog pants turn purple?

[Bison]

:roy: "You can't even tell me you'd be this tightly wound if you were recieving Treasure Type "O" regularly"

I don't think that one will ever be topped :smallbiggrin:

[Mike62]

A great conversation
Crush the police my evil insect minions, kill them...

You know, technically, im just an innocent bystander here

Shut up

Yessir, shutting up.

or

rumours of some tiny firebreathing avatar of death...

[Haleyintraining]

:nale: The leprechaun costume? Not so much.

[ThePhantom]

:roy: ELAN!!! :smallfurious:
:elan: Yea, through I walk through the valley of Roy being really pissed. I will fear no thwacking, for my lute and my banjo, they comfort me.

[Alge'n]

In almost every strip there is a awesome quote but this one is my favourite :

:miko: Perhaps in the future, if you approached the concept of a romantic relationship from this more mature perspective, I would not be so dismissive of the possibility. :smallsmile:
:roy: Oh. Oh no. I wouldn't touch your skinny uptight ass with a standard-issue 10-ft pole, you overbearing self-righteous bitch. :smallannoyed:
:miko: :smalleek:

Priceless...

Roy's rants are always great, especially when they're againt Miko.

[[levi]]

I think that maybe the only thing I actually laughed out loud was this recent one...

Daigo: Why is there glass in my face?

and this

:xykon: I think I just had an evilgasm

[Lokasenna]

Law and Good Deva (about :belkar:): You've been adventuring for a year with a Chaotic Evil halfling who is constantly trying to murder anyone who gets in his way! Or who looks like they might possibly be thinking about getting anywhere sort of near his way at some unspecified future point, just to be sure.

[AceOfFools]

:belkar:"We have a goal?"
:roy: (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0313.html)
:elan:"Wanna make out?"

From the prequels:
:elan:"Yeah, I'm doing the Gainful Employment Dance! Yeah I am!
:roy:"Why do I get the feeling that when future historians look back on my life, they'll pinpoint this exact moment as when everything began to rally go downhill for me?
(While the last two appear in the same panel, I love them both. I even did the Gainful Employment Dance when I got the first paycheck for my latest job)
Right-eye: Hey! Who in this tavern is an adventurer?"
:xykon:"Did they have a big sale down at the Testicle Store or something?"
:xykon:"-Bitch."
:redcloak:"If we could table the women as objects until after we've discussed our wicked schemes"

[DeMorgan]

:roy: But like it or not, you're MY responsibility. Because I'm the only one here who's willing to be responsible.

:vaarsuvius: But it... it was only one... one word... ONE! WORD! sob

[Liwen]

The quote I have in my sig is my favorite, but it has allready been told, so I'll go with :

Belkar : My eyes are finnaly open. From this day foward, I shall never hurt a living creature ever again.

V: Dimiss Owl's wisdom

Belkar : Let's kill those losers! :smallfurious:

[Fawkes]

I think my favorite might be Xykon's coffee monologue from SoD.

[RMS Oceanic]

(Start of Darkness Spoilers)
:xykon:Hey, you know what gets under my skin? Proverbially, of course? A century of Wizards looking down their damn noses at me - Energy Drain!

I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. Because I get bored easily. Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning - Energy Drain!

But see, I've learned a lot over the years since I died. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: Force in as great a concentration as you can manage, and style. And in a pinch, style can slide - Energy Drain!

In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For instance, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all - Energy Drain!

Because yes, I am a sorcerer - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies". And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die. You can have your finely-crafted watch - give me the sledgehammer to the face any day.

ENERGY DRAIN!

Damn, that felt good.

[Kaytara]

:durkon: ...Why? :smalleek:
:belkar: Because it's fun to make him that uncomfortable, and I'm secure enough in my manhood to go that far to embarrass him. :smallamused:

Not only is that hilarious, it sums up Belkar's character perfectly. XD Or at least the how-he-acts-while-he's-not-killing part. XD :smallbiggrin:

Also, that part of SoD is amazing, but the big verbal smackdown Xykon gave to Redcloak shortly thereafter is just as good. I could almost hear the psychological wounds opening.

[snowbard55]

Here's one I can't belief hasn't been mentioned yet.
:xykon: Sacrificing minions, is there any problem it can't solve?

Then of course there is...
:durkon: (to Leeky Windstaff) Sit!
:belkar: I think I failed a Spot check.

And who can forget...
:elan: Bluff, bluff, bluff the stupid ogre.
:smallbiggrin:

[werik]

:belkar: THAT is for forcing me to perform a quasi-Good act! Gods, and to think, I bet on someone's life or death with you! Ugh!
Hobgoblin 1: Halt!
Hobgoblin 2: You're surrounded, halfling!
Hobgoblin 3: Throw down your dagger and surrender!
:belkar: Wow...this is a new experience for me...I've never had karma work out in my favor before!

:durkon: But...but thar na real gods! Thar puppets! Cannae ye see tha thar just puppets?!?
:elan: The only way to settle this dispute between two gods is with a pie-eating contest!!
Gruguk and Vurkle: hooray!
:durkon: PUPPETS CANNAE EVEN EAT PIE!!!

:belkar: Hey Roy, good advice. It turns out that it actually IS more satisfying to make a prophecy come true yourself!
:roy: You know, that would have been a lot less ominous if he wasn't carrying a stepladder...
:belkar: Oh, and Elan, do me a favor and blow on this whistle really hard in, say, three minutes.
:elan: A whistle! I really DID get a happy ending!!


:belkar: Screw her and her "morals"! Let's make a break for it while she's distracted.
:haley: Appealing as that sounds, let me ask you this: would I be traveling with a horrid little bastard like you if I didn't need all the help I could get?
:belkar: Oh, right. Good point.

:roy: Am I really so intent in wallowing in my own self pity that I'm willing to cast a helpless innocent to those thieves? What is wrong with me? I'm a disgrace to my alignment!
:roy: Well, that's going to change now. Thanks for setting me straight, Dad. I'm gonna pack up my gear and go rescue Elan!
:durkon: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
:roy: I'm gonna pack up my gear and go rescue the entire rest of the party!

:vaarsuvius: Fascinating. I cannot help but notice that the disintegrated remains of a dragon are indistinguishable from those of a human, or a halfling, or a dwarf.
:roy: Point taken.

[Cizak]

:belkar: Hey Roy, good advice. It turns out that it actually IS more satisfying to make a prophecy come true yourself!
:roy: You know, that would have been a lot less ominous if he wasn't carrying a stepladder...
:belkar: Oh, and Elan, do me a favor and blow on this whistle really hard in, say, three minutes.
:elan: A whistle! I really DID get a happy ending!!


What!?!? :smalleek: Have I missed somthing!?

[Studoku]

:thog: thog not in this book. thog sad.

[T-O-E]

What!?!? :smalleek: Have I missed somthing!?

After the party first visits the oracle (technically the second if you count On the Origin of Pcs).

[Lira]

After the party first visits the oracle (technically the second if you count On the Origin of Pcs).In other words, here:
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0334.html

[Kaytara]

On a completely off-topic note... Does anything else think it very creepy that Vaarsuvius' cloak is apparently subject to gravity, but not V's hair?

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

:durkon:So... That explains why ye just Charmed a muskrat inta humpin' Belkars feet.
:vaarsuvius:Hmm? Oh no, that was just for my own personal amusement.

[Lira]

On a completely off-topic note... Does anything else think it very creepy that Vaarsuvius' cloak is apparently subject to gravity, but not V's hair?Creepy? No. Amusing? Yes. :smalltongue:

[drengnikrafe]

I'm not sure I'm getting this one quite right, because it's been awhile since I last read OtOotPCs


:elan: I promise I won't lead you in to a trap which is comprised of people we met earlier that day when I lead us down a dark alley...
:roy: that's an oddly specific promise....

[snowbard55]

:durkon:So... That explains why ye just Charmed a muskrat inta humpin' Belkars feet.
:vaarsuvius:Hmm? Oh no, that was just for my own personal amusement.

:belkar: WILD EMPATHY CHECK! WILD EMPATHY CHECK!

also,
:roy: Oh, weapon shrinkage

:nale: Must...resist urge...to assert heterosexuality...for the plan.
:sabine: Honey, I'm a shapeshifter. Its not like we never tried...
:nale: NOT HELPING!

[Linkavitch]

:elan: Say, didn't we leave our horses at the inn we blew up? (beat) POP!

[snowbard55]

:elan: Clot, clot, clot my bleeding arteries

[Linkavitch]

:elan: Clot, clot, clot my bleeding arteries

Along that note,
:elan: Hey, Haley, I found all these free swords. They were in my spleen.

thor's answering machine-"You have selected 'Colon Tumor', what kind of Colon Tumor would you like?"
:durkon: Arrgh!

[snowbard55]

Spartacus, I must second those in your signature. :smallbiggrin:

Also,
:xykon: Zombie ogres! They're just as strong, but eat less.

[Jarade]

:belkar: In the future, remind me to wait until late afternoon before insulting Vaarsuvius...... At the earliest.

:roy: I dream of the day when I will learn to stop asking questions to which I will regret learning the answers.

[horngeek]

:vaarsuvius: Evan's spiked tentacles of forced intrusion!!!

[Largo833]

:roy: Now is not the time to start being entirely reasonable.

[Niley]

Might be perverse, but it's still funny...
:belkar: Hey, Sweet Thing, wanna hold my Rod of Lordly Might? If you push the button, it might extend!

Belkar's angel: And he just kept stabbing them, again and again... He's a halfling, he's supposed to be jolly... Why isn't he jolly? WHY ISN'T HE JOLLY?!

[Grey Watcher]

Oh, man, this thread is reminding me of so many....

But I think my all time favorite (just for sheer applicability if for no other reason):

Guardian of the Test of Heart: Are you ready, then?
:roy:: No, but I don't see the passage of time improving the situation.

Oh, and Xykon's entire monologue to Redcloak when they move into the dungeon at the end of Start of Darkness (my copy's currently in another state, so I can't transcribe it for you).

[Niley]

:vaarsuvius: Fascinating, Durkon, I have just now formulated that encompasses both Nale's likely method of engagement and the most suitable response on our part.
:durkon: THA TREES BE ATTACKIN'! RUN FER YER LIVES! (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0344.html)
:vaarsuvius: Ah, I see you've already grasped the core principles of my theory.

[u-gotNOgame]

:belkar: I also have salsa. Extra chunky, heh, heh
:roy: :smallyuk:

[MyrddinDerwydd]

2 of my favs are in my signature

[zach12376]

:belkar:I took craft Disturbing Mental image as my feat last level
:roy:I think i was visited by a gost
:durkon: A ghost, TURN UNDEAD!
:vaarsuvius:My eyes!
The rest of http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0016.html is also funny

:vaarsuvius:STOP! elf sence...tingiling, Secret door...nearby!.http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0030.html
Also in above strip
:elan:AHHH! is a (thinking): Mind flayer? Illithid? Psionic Danger? (out loud): squiddy thing!!!!

:elan:"Not Guilty, now leave, that's not a climax" :miko:jumps thru window, shatters glass, While stabbing :belkar: :miko:looms above :belkar:with her Katana "Time to die evildoer!"
:elan:Now THATS a climax
see for your self http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0284.html

Also:
Being of pure L/G On behalf of the Upper Planes i find the order of the stick to be...
:elan:AWWW man! I HATE weekend clifhangers!
:roy:Well, if you hadn't decided to talk in the last panel we would know by know wouldn't we!
(next Strip)
Being of pureL/G Not Guilty

[rickvoid]

When we meet Eric for the first time.

:roy: Sometimes, I wonder what class you would have taken. Probably bard... you loved that toy piano Uncle Myrtok got you... It's good to see you, little brother.
:smallbiggrin: Hi Roy! Wanna play blocks with me?
:roy: More than anything.

Dammit! Makes me tear up every time I read it! I am soo losing man-points right now. :smallredface:

I liked this one from start of darkness too:
Dorukan: Lirian? Can you hear me?
Lirian: Dory? Dory is that you?
Dorukan: Yes my love. I've failed. It looks as if I am to share your prison forever now.
Lirian: No, no... Not a prison anymore.

And who can ever forget:
Dorukan: Only the most epic magic can defend the gates.
Soon: Magic? Your magic can be dispelled or disrupted. Only the honor of a Paladin is unbreakable.
Girard: Honor, yeah. That and a silver piece will get you a hunk of cheese.

And anything with Mr Rodriguez.
:belkar: Who the hell are you?
Rodriguez: I've been retained as legal counsel for Winstriker the horse, of course, of course. He's away in the Celestial Realms right now, but I'm here to serve you with this scroll containing a mysterious spell of protection!
:belkar: This isn't a spell, it's a restraining order.
Rodriguez: A spoooooky restraining order!
:belkar: It says I'm supposed to remain 200 feet away from the stupid horse at all times. Ok. Well, this all seems in order, so I guess I'll- oh! Wait. You seem to have made a mistake right here.
Rodriguez: Aw man! What's the mistake?
:belkar: I'm Chaotic.
Roriguez: Get away! I want my due process! Ipso facto! Writ of habeas corpus!
:belkar: Oh, I'll produce the body all right!

:smallbiggrin:

[Belkarsbadside1]

Elan has the funniest I Think

:belkar: Wait; I think I just failed a spot Check.
:elan:Bluff Bluff Bluff the stupis ogre
:elan:This (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0421.html) His speech
:elan: Oh Buddy Roy (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0445.html)
:xykon:Evil: A growth Industry.

[AceOfFools]

:belkar:I took craft Disturbing Mental image as my feat last level
:roy:I think i was visited by a gost
:durkon: A ghost, TURN UNDEAD!
:vaarsuvius:My eyes!
The rest of http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0016.html is also funny

:vaarsuvius:STOP! elf sence...tingiling, Secret door...nearby!.http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0030.html
Also in above strip
:elan:AHHH! is a (thinking): Mind flayer? Illithid? Psionic Danger? (out loud): squiddy thing!!!!

:elan:"Not Guilty, now leave, that's not a climax" :miko:jumps thru window, shatters glass, While stabbing :belkar: :miko:looms above :belkar:with her Katana "Time to die evildoer!"
:elan:Now THATS a climax
see for your self http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0284.html

Also:
Being of pure L/G On behalf of the Upper Planes i find the order of the stick to be...
:elan:AWWW man! I HATE weekend clifhangers!
:roy:Well, if you hadn't decided to talk in the last panel we would know by know wouldn't we!
(next Strip)
Being of pureL/G Not Guilty

Methinks you sorta missed the point.

While those are awesome scenes (indeed among my favorites), there are, well, scenes... and not lines. They're not easily quotable, like say...

Hinjo: "I'll stand between any two murderers I want."
or
:redcloak:"If I continue to ignore you, you're going to spout inane observations about this for the rest of the war, aren't you?"

[rickvoid]

Ah, single lines huh?

In that case:
:xykon:: Shhh! This dork is about to set off like 100 traps.

:roy:: Surprisingly, Elan makes a good point. (Which probably just proves that we've stumbled into some bizarre alternate reality.)

Chaos: Turquoise bicycle shoe fins actualize radishes greenly!

:thog:: corn have funny effect on thog's digestive system. after thog eat corn, thog need to go out to woods alone and-

And of course

:elan:: I GOT A 4!

[Remirach]

Redcloak and Xykon had a pretty good comedy routine while he was regenerating.

:xykon: Hey, gang, no bickering! We're all part of one big evil team here, right? Sure, we had a setback there, but all; we need to do is stick together. If we all pitch in, we'll be back on top soon. One for all and all for one, right?"
:redcloak: I can't help but notice that your sense of team spirit is inversely proportionate to your number of functioning appendages, sir.
:xykon: Cute. Did you just grow a spine there, Redcloak?
:redcloak: Perhaps I just got hit with a piece of yours when you exploded, sir.

Hobgoblin: Sir, your odd talking skull is speaking of the Perilous Path of Crushing Doom.
:Redcloak: Please tell me it's actually filled with cute fuzzy bunnies, and they just named it that to be ironic.

:redcloak: Just out of curiosity, is that in the same way that a human fighter with a broken sword could never defeat us?
:xykon: Hey, look, I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one.

Shojo's "TELEPORT!" (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0379.html) and Vaarsuvius' "Good to the Last Boom!" (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0317.html)

:Roy: Truly, your wit has never been equaled. Surpassed, often, but never equaled.

"The angel... doesn't work here anymore."
"He's a halfling, he's supposed to be jolly.... why isn't he jolly? WHY ISN'T HE JOLLY???"

[Migue]

:roy: Your approval fills me with shame

:belkar: Say hello to my little pointy friends!

Ghoul: Sir, we finally have enough corpses to serve as a ramp for your horse
:xykon:(one of the triplets): THEN LET THE REAPING BEGIN!!

there are so much more but this are one of my favorites

[Vargtass]

No-one quoted my all-time favourite yet:

Origins spoiler:

:roy: Did I stutter?

[zach12376]

:belkar: to :miko: Wake up sleeping beauty, it me the eighth dwarf, stabby!

[Niknokitueu]

Although I hated the character, there is one quote that really sums up the comic.

:miko:: I can live with that. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0464.html)

Have Fun!
Niknokitueu

[Graymayre]

:elan:: "Truelly Banjo giveth with one hand and taketh with the other. I think the hand with the banjo is the taketh-ing one. Otherwise he'd pretty much only be able to giveth banjos."

[Zolem]

:roy: Great cleace, great cleave, great cleave....what?
:elan: Oh ntohign Roy.
:belkar: Just didn't know you had such great cleavage.

[Dentarthur]

:elan: He's just like Banjo, except instead of playing music, he hits people with a stick.
:orc shaman: *takes off Banjo hat* oooo, hitting people more our thing anyway.

:redcloak: Do you actually expect me to believe that Xykon stopped in the middle of a battle to conduct a job interview?
:xykon: (via note) Redcloak: Check it out, I totally conducted a job interview in the middle of a battle. --Xykon

[Guchalez]

oh you are forgetting one of the best ones ever
:belkar:: Run, my pretty little chunks of Xp, run!!

and shortly after

:belkar:: "Surrender." Ha! How do they come up with this stuff?

[Linkavitch]

:belkar: (surrounded by Hobgoblins) "Hmm. You know, I've never had Karma work in my favor before..."
Also :belkar: "This is the happiest day of my life!" (about to attack a room full of gobbies, zombies, ghasts, and trolls.)

[OITS]

Sit on me head!

[Who_Da_Halfling]

My favorites are probably:

:roy: "Your approval fills me with shame."

:redcloak: "Yes, you've figured me out, my desire to formulate a basic strategy for our impending invasion is solely because I am unable to roll five of a kind."

:roy: "So what you're saying is, 'With great power, comes great blame.'"

:roy: "Great, he takes ranks in Perform (Kazoo), and now I have to make a Knowledge (Limits of my own Sanity) check."

That's all I can find right now. Roy is such a good quotable character, and Redcloak's sarcasm is like a class ability or something.

-JM

[Linkavitch]

:nale: Great, so now we're countering their competence with our ineptitude. Great plan.

:pompey: Hey, sugar!(:sabine:) :nale: Hey! Another opposite! A clearly defined gender! Now, get away from my woman!

[snowbard55]

:vaarsuvius: Your death shall be swift and silent, like the owl.

[Shian Tieus]

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/images/smilies/oots/redcloak.gif now, if you will excuse me, this 100% all-natural goblin has an army to lead

Therkla: Sorry if it hurts. I'm little rusti on NOT killing people, but I'm doing my best.

[Deepkicker]

:belkar: Wow, what a thrilling battle between Roy, Haley and Thog.
:nale: Right you are, Belkon.
:belkar: Belkar.
:nale: Whatever.

[Linkavitch]

:belkar: I ordered BUFFALO, not CHICKEN!
:roy: Yes! There are some advantages to dating outside my creature type! :celia: Go towards the light. . . :roy: also, some disadvantages.
:belkar: Geez, they can research 9th-level spells that stop time, but they can't put a dimmer switch on the sun?

[Linkavitch]

:thog: Not Nale. Not-nale. Thog help nail Not-nale, not Nale. And Thog knot Not-nale while Nale nail Not-nale. Nale not Not-nale, now nail Not-nale by leaving Not-nale, not Nale, in Jail.

[lord of kobolds]

:haley:SNEAK ATTACK, BITCH!!!
:thog:Thog fears he will never again know the magesty of the gumdrop mountains
:thog:but Thog just finished step 3: stuffing potato salad into giant wooden alpaca.

[Niley]

Elan: *hits Kubota*
Kubota: Naturally, I will be pressing assault charges as well.

[Linkavitch]

:vaarsuvius: Disintegrate! Gust of Wind!
:elan: uh. . .
:vaarsuvius: Now can we please get back to saving the world?

[AKA_Bait]

:vaarsuvius: And once again, Probability proves itself willing to sneak into a back alley and service Drama as would a copper-piece harlot.

:mitd: Order of the Stick! Your broken corpses will taste delicious lightly seasoned with nutmeg!

:thog: oh, little ice cream friends! Thog delays bordem-driven rampage only for you!

:redcloak: This one's for you mom. Fire the catapults!

:roach: Show me on the doll where she touched you.

[Shadic]

:roy: We're trained professionals. Well, we're semi-trained, quazi-professionals at any rate.

I've got the shirt.

[Eric]

If I can get only one quote from all of GiTP/OOtS to use as a quote for all time it would be O'Chul's response to RC as to who it was killing all the innocent Azurites:

If you must throw those men to their undoing then do so and be quick. The act is on your hands, not mine.

Or Xykon's quote to RC on the nature of Evil (capital E). Which I won't quote for spoiler reasons and because I'd have to get the book out.

The reasons why? Because they ring with truth.

The quotes from Belkar are great. Really amusing, but they only affect OOts.

O'Chul and his trials (and his response to them) goes beyond that and can give you a message for real life.

As can Xykon's message as to the true nature of evil.

[TentsOnFire]

:roach: :HELP! I'M BEING OPPRESSED!

Hobgoblin: All hail the supreme leader!
:roach: : Hail! Rain! Sleet!
:redcloak: :Shut up, all of you.

:elan: :You know, I've been thinking...
:roy: :I've had nightmares that started that way.

:belkar: :Let's see. I'm alone, wounded, and barely armed in a foreign land, trapped in a massive fortress swarming with nameless hostile human sentries.
It's like my birthday come early, only instead of birthday cake, there are dead humans.
Well, more dead humans, at any rate.

[gamerboy6000]

Disintegrate. Gust of Wind :vaarsuvius:

I thought he was trying to help optimize my build- therkla

Now I'm a centaur! :belkar:

[Chas the mage]

:roy:"bump uglies"

:vaarsuvius:"I'm quite preoccupied telling the laws of physics to shut up and sit down!"

[Cleverdan22]

"POWER ATTACK!"

"Ahh! The light! It stings in an uncomfortable manner!"

[PandaCthulhu]

Apart from the quote in my sig,...I like these:
:belkar:I've learned a valuable lesson: (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0085.html) the power to inflict bodily harm was always mine. I just needed to use it more often.
:Tsukiko: "Is that Him? (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0516.html) Is that the one who turned you, my little one?"
:Undead Wight: "Uh huh! He made me feel funny inside!"

[Lokasenna]

And of course: (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0549.html)

O-Chul: Tsukiko eats babies?!?

It's like a guy version of gossip.

[Ulti]

(Kobold)- I think there's something in my eye....
-Splorch-
:belkar:- Got it out for you.

[Jetty]

:roy: Grr. Roy Smash puny kobolds. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/ootscast.html)

And by the way:


(Kobold)- I think there's something in my eye....
-Splorch-
:belkar:- Got it out for you.

That was a hobgoblin, after the "Oh buddy roy!" Song Elan sang, (after roy died)

[Ulti]

That was a hobgoblin, after the "Oh buddy roy!" Song Elan sang, (after roy died)

Well they're both small and orange! That and I was just posting in the oracle thread.

[Assassin89]

Everything that Kasumi Kato says when the ninjas attack. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0587.html)

Not to mention:
O: Left Path! Left Path!
O: We want to do as much trouble as possible

Kasumi: Any chance of guiding him to turn around?
Daigo: I was thinking more of guiding him into the ocean

[zach12376]

This has probibly been said, but:
:elan:I GOT A 4!!!!

[Weiser_Cain]

'I Rolled a 4!' sold me on this strip.

[RMS Oceanic]

A brand new one from 606:

Shojo: The wisdom is simply this: Play the game.
Belkar: Uh, OK, but I thought we weren't in a game campaign, but just in a world where the laws of-
Shojo: Not THIS game!

[vegetalss4]

Cheif grukgruk half orc too. other half also orc

[Mina Kobold]

Cheif grukgruk half orc too. other half also orc

OH MY GOD YOU ARE FROM DENMARK. (At least you sig has a Danish writing) Me too.


EDIT: My favorite quotes are:
1. O-chuls line to Redcloak when he's about to kill the slaves.
2. :Hinjo: I stand between any two murderes I want

[Viddaric]

(julia):Help! I'm out of quarters! I mean "spells"!

:redcloak:: Proof once more that you paladins have zero ranks in the Knowledge (What the Hell You're Talking About) skill

:belkar:(right after Miko kills Shojo): YOU KILLED THE WACKY OLD DUDE WITH THE CAT?!?!?

:belkar::cool with me. let's go massacure somthing.

:roach::he besieged me with SCIENCE!

:haley::I mean, why spend four panels watching the arrow if it wasn't going to DO anything?

[ShadowPenguin]

:roy: - In lieu of Paradise, can I just get a picture of the exact look of his face?

[Optimystik]

:xykon::"Follow the bouncing ball, children."

Now THAT'S a scene I want to see in live action cinema.

[Dixieboy]

:belkar:I took craft Disturbing Mental image as my feat last level
I think i remember that one but when is it from?

[Illven]

Leeky Windstaff Druid's always pick the hard way it encourges natural selection

[Optimystik]

I think i remember that one but when is it from?

He says it to Roy shortly after he regains the Trouser Titan (too lazy to look up the number).

[Viddaric]

(human sorcerer, one who betrayed the saphire gaurd and joined Xylon's forces, dont know her name): if you don't come out by the count of ten, I'll comand him to start playing "pattycake"...
:haley::..."Pattycake"? is that suposed to be a threat?
(sorcerer):...with the wight.
:haley::oh.

:redcloak::how many "sides" are there in this conflict, anyway? Three? Four? More?
:roach:#1:I count at least nine
:roach:#2:Shhhhh! they don't know about some of those yet!
(personaly, I count 5, the order of the stick plus the surviving saphire gaurd and refugees, the liniar guild, the goblins and hobgoblins, Xylon and his exclusively loyal minions, and everyone else (nuteral))

[Argot]

:belkar: "I have a riddle for you: What's green and black, squeals like a pig and has two pieces of steel where its lungs used to be? YOU!!"

and my all time favorite

:durkon: "Turn undead!"
:redcloak: "Bolster undead!"
:belkar: "Stab undead!!"

[Viddaric]

:belkar::solve a man's problems with violence, and you help him for a day. teach a man to solve his problems with violence, and you help him for a lifetime!

:haley::he's not useless he's just... use impaired.

:xykon::That's what I get for hiring discount mercenaries. three-for-one my bony ass.

:belkar:(while elan is streaking):please cast blindness on me.

:elan:(nale is about to fall into monsters and is begging for help):Karma-riffic!

[The Blackbird]

Shojo: It appears... not everyone agrees with your... analysis.

[Xerrik]

:vaarsuvius: : For indeed the humble doily is the gateway to ULTIMATE COSMIC POWER!!

Back to you, sir Greenhilt.

:roy: : The kitchen...


Is that how V will actually obtain cosmic power?

[Kroy]

:miko:: I can live with that. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0464.html)

[The Blackbird]

:thog: Not Nale. Not-nale. Thog help nail Not-nale, not Nale. And Thog knot Not-nale while Nale nail Not-nale. Nale not Not-nale, now nail Not-nale by leaving Not-nale, not Nale, in Jail.

HA Thats gotta be Thog's best!

[The Blackbird]

:belkar: to :miko: Funny I always thought I was going to be killed by a PALADIN!

[darkriku2000]

:elan: Not Nale nailed Nale and nails. BOOYA!

[The Blackbird]

Got another one (plus wanted to see my signature)

:roy: YOU!!! BROKE!!! MY!!! SWORD!!!

[Scarlet Knight]

:sabine: "I'm sorry; I got distracted after you said three-way..."

:roy: "Glaive-Glaive,Glaive, Guisarme-glaive?"

:belkar: "Go ahead and start a solo adventure..."

[kamuishirou]

It's my email sig and I loved it when I first read it:

:belkar: Back me up and I'll cut a path through these guys.
:Cleric of Loki: Sounds good.
:belkar: Wait, did I say, "path"? I mean a five-lane blacktop highway with a two-lane service road-and I'm packin' a fist full of tokens and a radar detector.

[KilltheToy]

:belkar: "When in doubt, set something on fire!"

[Raging Gene Ray]

:belkar:"We have a goal?"
:roy: (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0313.html)
:elan:"Wanna make out?"


At first I read that as all part of the same exchange...thought I missed something...

[DKDIB]

:belkar: I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!!! (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0439.html)

:redcloak: Is not probably the best time. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0037.html)

[The Bookworm]

Start of Darkness p.69:
Smokey the Bear: You... Only you... ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES!
Redcloak: GAH!!! DIE, you public-service announcing b*stard! *Attacks with fire spell*
Roach: Now who's smokey?

[Prince_Selm]

(sorry if there are any repeats. I tried to avoid them)

:vaarsuvius: It means you could use them if you did not posses a wisdom score normally reserved for lemmings!!!
(Followed immediantly after by...)
:belkar: Hey lemmings are cute.

:elan: It's my new bard spell: Summon Plot Exposition!

(Roy's rant to Vaarsuvius in OtOoPC [I don't feel like posting it because of it's length.])

:roy: It say's on your application that you're a rouge. Assuming this is a typo and you are not a cosmetic applied to the face, then welcome aboard.

:belkar: HEY! Wise Mister Owlbear! How many licks does it take to get tho the chewy elven center of a Vaarsuvius Pop?

(V's rant about Owlbears)

:smallsigh:Erections lasting longer than four hours-

(and my favorite quote hands down...)
:elan: I'm on an adventure!

(I have more, but I'll do them later)

[Little Goblin]

:xykon: I need you to Speak with Dead.
:redcloak: ...
Um, OK, hello, sir, how are you today? This is lovely weather-
:xykon: Not me, you moron!

[Doomcat]

:haley: oh COME ON! how meny birds fly overhead every day and they all decide to shoot THAT one??

theres more in my head but most have already been said and others i cant remember without going through the whole comic again (in fact i might do that...)

[magic9mushroom]

:vaarsuvius:: Magic missile!
Zz'dtri: Shield.
:vaarsuvius:: Scorching ray!
Zz'dtri: Spell resistance.
:vaarsuvius:: Sleep!
Zz'dtri: Elf.
:vaarsuvius:: Oh, right.
:vaarsuvius:: Well, then, I believe perhaps that I am, in fact, completely screwed.
Zz'dtri: Yes.
:vaarsuvius:: AAAAH!!!

[bluedolphin359]

:roy:: Apparently getting your ass kicked is now a part of this complete breakfast.
-
:elan:: Move, move, move, move silently across the battlefield!
-
:elan:: I'm participating!
-
:belkar:: Hey, ogres make a very satisfying thump when they hit the ground. What can I say, I'm a simple man with simple tastes.

[zach12376]

:roy: Wel, i guess I should take pride in having found this new and exciting way in which I can disappoint my father.

Cleric of the twelve gods (C): Then let us now begin the ultimate dual between clerics begin!
C: Blindness
:redcloak: made my saving throw
:redcloak:poision
C: made my saving throw
C: Bestow Curse
:redcloak: made my saving throw
:redcloak: slay living
C: made my saving throw
C: Hold monster
:redcloak: wait, where did you get that spell?
C: law domain
:redcloak: nice. Oh and made my saving throw
:redcloak: Plane shift
C: made my saving throw
C: plane shift
:redcloak: Made my saving throw (copycat)
:redcloak: Destruction
C: does a 21 save
:redcloak: no
:redcloak: crap
ZOT
:redcloak: yeah we realy blew the special effects budget on that one.
(Much later)
C: wait! I had a 22!
(the battle is located here (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0456.html)

:haley: I should Take a level of ranger so i can choose Favored Enemy (Airborn Tramp)

[Golden-Esque]

:vaarsuvius: Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion!
Trigak: Wait, what?
:roy: Ooh, that's GOT to be uncomfortable!
:elan: I can't watch ...
:belkar: In the future, remind me to wait until mid afternoon before insulting Vaarsuvius.
Trigak: The horror! The horror!
:belkar: At the earliest.

[Scarlet Knight]

:elan: "Bask in the power of my meckalecka-hi, meckahiney-ho!"

[Sevley]

Hobgoblin 1: AAAH! Beetles! And they're spitting acid in my eyes!

Hobgoblin 2: Gah! Now they're spitting acid in MY eyes too!

[Zombie of tap]

:elan:: Karma-rific!

[StingerUT]

Not sure whether this was been posted yet. Shouldve been on page 1 :P

:elan: Wooooo. Im invisible. You cant see me!

:durkon: ThorPrayer (R) anyone? (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0007.html)

[Viddaric]

this one isn't a quote, exactly, but it strikes me as funny
:vaarsuvius:: I prepared explosive runes today *kaboom*

(words on a door, after elan activates self-destruct runes):EXIT. use in case of imminant explosion.

:belkar:(talking about durkon):he can pronounce "stratosphere", but not "the"?

:vaarsuvius::vomit. now. and aim for the halfling

:roy::can everyone stop using "bone" as a verb!?

:durkon::love is an epic level chalenge.

:roy::if you want to bring us before your liege, you'll have to drag us there in chains. (next panel, the entire party other than durkon is in chains) stupid railroad plot.

:roy::Just curious, do you get XP for killing this dramatic moment?

:belkar:: *Pffffw*gah! oh, gods, what the hell kind of crappy coffe is this!?
(coffee package):Explosive runes brand coffee. "good to the last boom!" (explosion)
:durkon::filterin' tha coffee with roy's sweat socks was a nice touch
:vaarsuvius::I pride myself on attention to detail.

[Janmorel]

:elan: "And those iron bars? Those iron bars ATE all of Nale's breadcrumbs!"
:thog: "what?!?"
:elan: "And then they punched a clown!"

.

[Brauley]

:vaarsuvius: Bugsby's Expressive Single Digit!!

There are more but I can't remember them properly

[Draz74]

:vaarsuvius: You have perfectly gleaned my true intentions, well done. Have a cookie.

PICKLE DEATH ATTACK!

My last breath ... is also my mintiest ...

:durkon: Tha trees be attackin'!! Run fer yer lives!!!
:vaarsuvius: Ah, I see you have already grasped the core principles of my theory.

:roy: Your approval fills me with shame.

ATTENTION, MEWLING CITY DWELLERS!

:thog: *sigh* thog fears he will never again know the majesty of the gumdrop mountains.

:thog: not nale. not-nale. thog help nail not-nale, not nale. and thog knot not-nale while nale nail not-nale. nale, not not-nale, now nail not-nale by leaving not-nale, not nale, in jail.

:xykon: Get it? A "raise"? Because you're dead? A "Raise" Dead? HA!
:xykon: Meh. They can't all be winners, you know.

:belkar: Clang, clang, clang goes the trolley!
:durkon: Git away from me, ye daft fool!
:belkar: Ring, ring, ring goes the bell!
:vaarsuvius: *sigh*

:xykon: DING! 8th floor: Men's Outerwear, Sporting Goods, and Rifts in the Fabric of the Universe.

:xykon: Come on, you sissy, is that the best you can do? Your Ma hits harder than that--and can grow better facial hair!
:xykon: ... GNNNNH!

:redcloak: Hi, we're here to kill everyone?
:elan: OK! *bonk* *bonk*

:elan: I'll throw in a free coffee maker.
:vaarsuvius: Does it do espresso?
:elan: No.
:vaarsuvius: NEVER!

:elan: So, uh ... run away?
:roy: Nope. Charge.
:belkar: *sniff* This is the happiest moment of my life.

:belkar: Let's stop the violence.

:belkar: I was gonna take the deal, right up until the point where I remembered how much I was looking forward to flinging an angry housecat in someone's soft and unprotected face.

What do you call it?
... "Halfling Drop Soup."
:belkar: Needs pepper.

OK, I could go on all night if I'm not careful.