101 uses for a re-animated corpse...

[The Succubus]

Ok, you're an evil genius that's just slaughtered an entire village of innocent men women and children and you have dozens of bodies simply begging to make the leap to zombiehood.

Now that you have this vast supply of undead, what do you do with them all?

Use 1# - A stunt zombie for those challenging comic strips.

Use 2# - A contestant on Mastermind:



"Where can you find the medulla oblongata and auditory cortex?"

"Brains"

"What is an important dietary requirement for the Illthid or Mind-Flayer?"

"Brains"

...



Remember, the more original, the better :smallamused:

[Kaihaku]

Use 3# - A handy plot device to keep the group village leader from being resurrected.

[Artega]

Obstacles in the way of freedom that infest their former town and cause problems (and soiled undergarments) for a silent protagonist in a suit of power armor as he attempts to rescue the Earth from the clutches of an evil galactic superpower.

wait....

#4 Extras for your upcoming rendition of "Thriller".

[Renx]

#5 Book ends
#6 Ladder support
#7 Babysitters (they'll happily sit on any baby)
#8 Notepads when you're out of paper
#9 Living... er, unliving, statues
#10 Cushions for your feet
#11 Handy chairs
#12 Fan handlers (they'll keep turning/flapping that fan forever)
#13 Holding thread when you knit
#14 Digging trenches
#15 Counterweights
#16 Crash dummies

That'll do for now ;)

[Ghastly Epigram]

#17 - A substitute for when you want a day off work/school. Hopefully nobody will be able to tell the difference. :smalltongue:

[Setra]

#18: Dog toys
#19: Gold Farmers (ie. On an MMO)

[Texas Jedi]

#20 Have them battle it out for scraps of meat for my amusement.
#21 Test cosmetics on them
#22 I would never have to walk again.
#23 Start a choir, but it would just be a one word song though. :smallfrown:
#24 Terrorize other nearby cities to create a larger army of the undead.
#25 Re-enact scenes from Shaun of the Dead.
#26 A zombie butler beats a monkey butler any day.
#27 Dispose of pesky landmines.
#28 Have them carry my groceries from my trunk.
#29 Chain them to typewriters and have them type the works of Shakespeare.
#30 Zombie skeet shooting.

[Manga Shoggoth]

At risk of making political references...

#21 Member of Parliment

[Daran]

#31
Use them as annoying door-to-door salesmen .... now that is pure evil!
"Can I interest you in our new and improved brains?"

[pendell]

#32: Used to up the body count during customer meetings (never good to bring fewer people than your competitor)

#33: Tech support Tier 1. Not that anyone could tell the difference.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[pendell]

#32: Ideal manager. All he needs to be able to do is sign any paper you put in front of him, and take the blame when things go wrong. Oh yes, and when you say to a customer 'I'm sorry, that's out of policy -- you'll have to take it up with my manager' -- if the customer does, the 'manager' should eat his brains.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[Fan]

#43: A protection agency. Assuming we are tlaking fast zombies here.
#44: Sewer cleaners: seriously who would do that.

[cloneof]

#33 As D&D group

[The Succubus]

#34 - Dress them in blue robes with green wigs and have a real-life game of Lemmings.

#35 - Pioneering brain surgeons - "Spit the rest back out! He was only supposed to have a lobotmy!"

[R.O.A.]

What happened to these wacky numbers?

#36
As a hatstand.

[Linkavitch]

#37 Sewage inspector.
#38 back up singer
#39 bomb suit tester

[fang_q]

#40 Fuel
#41 To practice surgery on.

[Holammer]

#42 Emergency chamber pot

[Prowl]

#43 Presidential Candidate

[Trizap]

#44: decoy to take the blame for whatever you do wrong.
#45: people to help run a restaurant that don't need to be payed.

[TigerHunter]

#41 To practice surgery on.
I don't see how they're any better than non-animated corpses.

#46: Voter fraud.

[Zolem]

#47 Catapult ammo.

[Emanick]

48. Zombie-drawn sleighs. Imagine the benefits if they have a high Strength score - they won't get tired!
Although that's really the territory of an Equine Golem...:smallamused:

[Innis Cabal]

49: Pool scruber, no need to empty the pool either

[Fawkes]

#30 Zombie skeet shooting.

^This.

50. Base for "World's Tallest Necromancer."

[Azazel]

Remember, the more original, the better :smallamused:

A comfortable, strangely stimulating handbra for the lady of discriminating tastes. Not my idea but hey, it's brilliant.

[SnailMan]

#51 (OtOoPCs spoiler): Animate Dead Barbershop Quartet!

[Jarwy]

#52 Generic customer service worker. Works better for some than the others.

[Texas Jedi]

#53 Chum
#54 Create a sports league
#55 Fill in the Grand Canyon (Only if there is enough) if not go to #56
#56 Push Zombies off a cliff to hear the satisfying crunch when they go splat.
#57 Force them to watch the View (extreme torture and only recommened for the extremely evil)
#58 Zombie Tipping
#59 Have them re-enact the U.S. Civil War battle of Gettysburg.
#60 Train them to fetch beer from the fridge. If there isn't any beer in the fridge train them to get some at the store. (Best use by far :smallbiggrin:)

[Tholok Razescar]

#20 Have them battle it out for scraps of meat for my amusement.
#21 Test cosmetics on them
#22 I would never have to walk again.
>#23 Start a choir, but it would just be a one word song though. :smallfrown:
#24 Terrorize other nearby cities to create a larger army of the undead.
#25 Re-enact scenes from Shaun of the Dead.
#26 A zombie butler beats a monkey butler any day.
#27 Dispose of pesky landmines.
#28 Have them carry my groceries from my trunk.
#29 Chain them to typewriters and have them type the works of Shakespeare.
#30 Zombie skeet shooting.

" Brains brains brains, brains brains brains brains, brains brains brains brains brains , brains brains brains brains brains , brains brains brains brains brains brains , brains brains brains brains brains , brains brains brains brains brains , brains brains brains brains , braaaaaains, brains."

No, that's actually based on a real song.Honest.

[Flickerdart]

#61: Play video games with them (Shaun of the Dead, anyone?)

[ridly]

#62 fuel for a bonfire
#63 lightning rod

[Zolem]

#64 ) Fill infor a bad blind date.

[tribble]

65: get in good with the anatomy teacher. (think about it)
66: Ballroom Dance practice.

[snowbard55]

#66 Meat shield
#67 Speed bumb
#68 Perfect Halloween decoration
#69 Deterant to theft
#70 Pest control (rats and mice have very tasty brains :smallbiggrin:)

[lord of kobolds]

This seems like it should be on the smbg's

also:
food chewer for the elderly.

[Beholder1995]

#72: Cheap Astronauts.

[Linkavitch]

#73 Train them to run around robbing people, then come and deposit it in a safe at your house.
#74 Bass player. I mean, I know one person who would rather play bass then electric guitar. And I know a grand total of 8-9 guitarists. One plays bass and EG.

[snowbard55]

#75 Teach them to play ding dong ditch for kicks
#76 Become the smartest person at home/school/work (no brains=no competition:smallwink:)

[ericgrau]

Backup singers.

"They're Pinky, they're Pinky and the..."

[Kami2awa]

#72: Cheap Astronauts.

Yes, they don't breathe, eat etc. and you don't need to arrange to get them back.

[Pie Guy]

Yes, they don't breathe, eat etc. and you don't need to arrange to get them back.

and you only need a really big catapult!

[bibliophile]

78 Somehow, no-one has mentioned the most common use, soldiers

79 Mini earthquake maker, 500 zombies jumping up and down will get a little shaking

80 construction material

81 conveyer belt; get a lot of zombies to stand in a line and pass things down the line

82 teach zombies very simple tasks, and combine with #81 to create an assembly line

83 Ithillid killer, no brains to eat, no fear, impossible to stun or charm

84 Galley slaves (hey look! that longboat is going 25 knots against the wind!)

[Ramien]

85. Furniture - only after the flesh has been removed, though.
86. Garbage disposal - "Here, take this to the dump"
87. Emergency rations - with use of gentle repose

[chiasaur11]

88. Winning weird bets.

[The Succubus]

89. As bait for crocodile fishing.

[d'Bwobsling]

90. Emergency rations(sorry if that's allready been posted)

[Zolem]

91) Cannable deterent.

[kossuth's_spark]

#92: Rouge replacement (they set off the traps and no one cares)

[Laurentio II]

93# Testing your Bond Killer Machine. Double profit: if a zombie can evade it, Bond can. And after the tenth time you see your Bond Killer Machine working, it loses all novelty and you are not so excited to use it. So no silly errors like waiting out from the room, or explaining to Bond how it works.
Then, make a zombie out of James Bond.

"My name is... braaaain!"

[lord of kobolds]

91) Cannable deterent.
deterrent?
More like hors douvres

[ForzaFiori]

#73 Train them to run around robbing people, then come and deposit it in a safe at your house.
#74 Bass player. I mean, I know one person who would rather play bass then electric guitar. And I know a grand total of 8-9 guitarists. One plays bass and EG.

hey man, personally I love playing bass.

[Watchdog]

#94 Emergency raft.

[MyrddinDerwydd]

#32: Ideal manager. All he needs to be able to do is sign any paper you put in front of him, and take the blame when things go wrong. Oh yes, and when you say to a customer 'I'm sorry, that's out of policy -- you'll have to take it up with my manager' -- if the customer does, the 'manager' should eat his brains.


This is just soooooo wrong. So wrong.

[MeTheGameGuy]

#23 Start a choir, but it would just be a one word song though. :smallfrown:

Not at all.

All we want to do is eat your brains
We’re not unreasonable; I mean, no one’s gonna eat your eyes
All we want to do is eat your brains
We’re at an impasse here; maybe we should compromise:
If you open up the doors
We’ll all come inside and eat your brains!
Lots of words there. :smallwink:

Brilliant song. Here. (http://www.jonathancoulton.com/songdetails/Re%20Your%20Brains)

[zach12376]

#95(only 6 to go!!!) The ultimate Trick-Or-treating brigade,

Send 30 out to get candy, and the rest to scare people away from your house!

[Nathan W]

#97 So you've got a village full of zombies . . . and there all farely fresh . . . and at least one of a whole village has to be a hot blond . . . and they all obay your orders . . . :amused:

[Zolem]

#98 Did up old threads so you can revive them.

[Linkavitch]

#99: coffee fetcher
#100: bank robber(dark knight, anyone?)
#101: Tell them to think up 101 different things they can do.

[Evil DM Mark3]

99: 102:Depending on species (animal for most of you out there) and state of preservation, they are very handing for not having to carry your food with you...

[xelliea]

103: to test if your bath is too hot

[Impikmin]

^ ewww.. Its flesh would like disperse in your water.. And i don't think it would feel the heat anyway..

104: Open its mouth - and walla! A portable walking chamber pot! Thank you belkar for that idea :)