Musicians In The Playground

[Beholder1995]

The Orchestras vs. Bands thread has shown that these boards are littered with musicians and drummers (:smalltongue:) of all sorts. Amazed that a thread like this didn't exist already, I made one! And so here we are...

This is the place to complain and talk about other instruments, exchange drummer jokes and stories of our crazy conductors, and for the trumpet players among us to argue about how much better we can play the Haydn Trumpet Concerto. :smallbiggrin:

Courtesy of thefrenchhorn.net, I give you this list, so that we may correctly stereotype each other:



Conductor:
leaps tall buildings in a single bound
is more powerful than a locomotive
is faster than a speeding bullet
walks on water
gives policy to a god

Percussionist:
falls over the doorstep when trying to enter buildings
says "look at the choo-choo"
wets himself with a water pistol
plays in mud puddles
loses arguments with himself

Saxophone Player:
runs into buildings
recognizes locomotives 2 times out of 3
is not issued any ammunition
can stay afloat with a life jacket
talks to walls, argues with himself

Clarinet Player:
Too afraid too jump building because of their reed
Works in locomotives
too busy with reed for gun
throws reed into water
thinks reed is a god

Trombone Player:
leaps short buildings in a single bound
is more powerful than a switch engine
is just as fast as a speeding bullet
walks on water if sea is calm
talks with a god

Flute Player:
barely clears a Quonset hut
loses tug-of-war with locomotive
can fire a speeding bullet
swims well
is occasionally addressed by a god

Oboe Player:
leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
is almost as powerful as a switch engine
is almost as fast as a speeding bullet
walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
talks to a god if special request is approved

Bassoon Player:
makes marks on the wall when trying to clear short buildings
is run over by a locomotive
can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
dog-paddles
talks to animals

Trumpet Player:
argues with building when it won't get out of the way
sleeps in locomotive
claims it's too easy to catch bullets in teeth explaining why he really can't
saves water to drink after every triple C
thinks he's a god.

Horn Player:
lifts buildings and walks under them
kicks locomotives off the tracks
catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them
freezes water with a single glance
is a god


Band geeks and orchestra nerds, UNITE!!! :smallbiggrin:

[randman22222]

Bassoon Player:
makes marks on the wall when trying to clear short buildings

So true. :smallbiggrin:

I started on Clarinet, picked up Bassoon, then Tenor Sax, and then Guitar.
And hopefully will start vocals soon. :smallbiggrin:

[SilentNight]

I'm loving the trombone description :smallbiggrin: . Woot for low brass. So wait, is this for classical musicians or for simply all types?

Just to start us off, one of my favorite jokes.

How do you get two flutes to play in tune?
Shoot one.

[randman22222]

I'm loving the trombone description :smallbiggrin: . Woot for low brass. So wait, is this for classical musicians or for simply all types?

Just to start us off, one of my favorite jokes.

How do you get two flutes to play in tune?
Shoot one.

Heard that one with oboes. Prolly more applicable with them. Double reed and all...

[Beholder1995]

I heard that one for violins. :smalltongue:

No, all musicians are welcome. And drummers, of course. :smallbiggrin:


~-~

What's the difference between a bagpipe player and a terrorist?
A terrorist has sypathizers.
Highlight to see answer

[randman22222]

I heard that one for violins. :smalltongue:

No, all musicians are welcome. And drummers, of course. :smallbiggrin:


~-~

What's the difference between a bagpipe player and a terrorist?
A terrorist has sypathizers.
Highlight to see answer

That was just beautiful. :smallbiggrin:

[GrandMasterMe]

lol'd hard on the sax description

[JettWilderbeast]

I play bass and guitar and ukulele! Wheres your description for me?! :smallfrown:

[Bryn]

Hey there! Violinist here, albeit one who practices somewhat rarely. Still, I do play in an orchestra (albeit a youth one, but not a terrible one). Seems violinists don't get a comparison to trains, buildings, etc., which is maybe a good thing because I'm sure it would be unflattering :smallbiggrin:

[randman22222]

Hey there! Violinist here, albeit one who practices somewhat rarely. Still, I do play in an orchestra (albeit a youth one, but not a terrible one). Seems violinists don't get a comparison to trains, buildings, etc., which is maybe a good thing because I'm sure it would be unflattering :smallbiggrin:

*Twitches psychotically. Twice.*

You'd fit in at GLoG... :smallconfused:

This semester, our jazz band is the pit orchestra for our school's production of Guys and Dolls.
The music is so hard to read! It's all hand written and such. Half the time the conductor's score has completely different stuff written in than it does for the actual instrumentalists. Sometimes each part doesn't even have the same number of bars in it. :smallsigh:

[Uncle Festy]

I used to be a pianist, but haven't played in far too long. :smallsigh:

[The Pink Wonder]

I play the cello:smallbiggrin:


*Twitches psychotically. Twice.*

You'd fit in at GLoG... :smallconfused:

This semester, our jazz band is the pit orchestra for our school's production of Guys and Dolls.
The music is so hard to read! It's all hand written and such. Half the time the conductor's score has completely different stuff written in than it does for the actual instrumentalists. Sometimes each part doesn't even have the same number of bars in it. :smallsigh:

I hear ya- In august, when my orchestra was playing Oliver, the handwritten score was so bad the key signature squished into itself and we couldn't see what it was.

Then we realised it was 6 flats :smalleek:

[randman22222]

Did the composer decide that he wanted to draw all quarter rests sideways, and that eighth rests should look just like glissandos? :smallconfused:

Ugh, and then in one song, he completely mismatched where the caesuras go. In one part (mine), the song has no caesuras whatsoever.

Silly Broadway composers. :smallsigh:

[SilentNight]

Did the composer decide that he wanted to draw all quarter rests sideways, and that eighth rests should look just like glissandos? :smallconfused:

Ugh, and then in one song, he completely mismatched where the caesuras go. In one part (mine), the song has no caesuras whatsoever.

Silly Broadway composers. :smallsigh:

Oy :smalleek:.

[Beholder1995]

I play bass and guitar and ukulele! Wheres your description for me?! :smallfrown:

Dunno. I always thought it was kinda wierd Thefrenchhorn.net didn't have anything for strings...

But you're right. I'm sure it would be unflattering. :smalltongue:

My band has yet to do anything for school plays... probably because the auditorium's so small to begin with... :smallsigh:

[tribble]

My bro plays the French horn in his middle school band.

[Beholder1995]

My bro plays the French horn in his middle school band.

French Horn = kewl. :smallcool:

How do you get a trombone to sound like a french horn?
Shove your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes.
Highlight for answer

[SDF]

Three of those are applicable to me but they are all contradictory :smallconfused:

[randman22222]

Three of those are applicable to me but they are all contradictory :smallconfused:

Sounds like you're reading the score from a musical. :smallsigh:

[Tragic_Comedian]

I play mandolin. And fiddle (badly).

[skywalker]

Trumpet Player:
argues with building when it won't get out of the way
sleeps in locomotive
claims it's too easy to catch bullets in teeth explaining why he really can't
saves water to drink after every triple C
thinks he's a god.

This is a good one. Particularly "argues with building."

How can an 8th rest look like a glissando?

Once upon a time, when our string ensemble joined the band for a competition, we were playing a modified(and transposed into bass clef) clarinet part that was pretty simple. Someone(I don't remember who, couldn't have been me) mentioned that we weren't playing the true clarinet part and it sounded more fun. The conductor's response was to hand us a page of the real clarinet part and say "It shouldn't be any trouble at all for you to switch to treble clef for a page." :smalleek:

[randman22222]

How can an 8th rest look like a glissando?

When you have a composer that sits down to write music for an entire musical in a few hours. He tends to get rushed.

[Renegade Paladin]

Bassist here. Sup? :smalltongue:

[RTGoodman]

I actually play trumpet, baritone/euphonium, piano/keyboards, and percussion of all sorts, but I've taught myself a bit of electric bass, some guitar, a good deal of tin whistle, and some other stuff.

I hear you loud and clear on the Broadway books being terrible. I've played in the orchestra for several shows ("The Wiz," "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat," "1940s Radio Hour," and a couple others that I don't remember), and we actually made sure after the first few times we had the above-mentioned problems to actually sit with the soundtrack, the conductor and his score, and all the players with their parts just to see what all was supposed to happen and what wasn't. :smallsigh:

[Kazasu]

Saxophone Player:
runs into buildings
recognizes locomotives 2 times out of 3
is not issued any ammunition
can stay afloat with a life jacket
talks to walls, argues with himself

Yeah.. I can't stay afloat with a life jacket... :smallannoyed: Anyways, I play Bari, Tenor, and Alto Sax. I also play a little clarinet and harmonica.. And I actually play guitar well. :smallbiggrin:

Oh! And.. Marching Band Geeks=Band Geeks? :smallconfused:

EDIT: Woot! I have the most smilies in a reply so far! :smalltongue:

[Beholder1995]

Yeah.. I can't stay afloat with a life jacket... :smallannoyed: Anyways, I play Bari, Tenor, and Alto Sax. I also play a little clarinet and harmonica.. And I actually play guitar well. :smallbiggrin:

Oh! And.. Marching Band Geeks=Band Geeks? :smallconfused:

Am I the only person on these boards who plays less than three instruments? :smalltongue:

I... don't quite get your question... :smallconfused:

[Kazasu]

Am I the only person on these boards who plays less than three instruments? :smalltongue:

I... don't quite get your question... :smallconfused:

Eh, I guess I can figure it out for myself, since, both are band geeks...[Insert random gibberish and arguments about quantum physics here] Eh... Yeah, Marching Band Geeks=Band Geeks... :smallamused:

[Beholder1995]

Eh, I guess I can figure it out for myself, since, both are band geeks...[Insert random gibberish and arguments about quantum physics here] Eh... Yeah, Marching Band Geeks=Band Geeks... :smallamused:

Er... okay, then... :smalltongue:

Saxophone jokes! (http://www.geocities.com/sax411/humor/saxjokes.html) :smallbiggrin:

[Kazasu]

# What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a crushed sax in the road?
Skid marks before the skunk.

# How many sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to do it and four to comment on how David Sanborn would have done it.



Hahaha! Bookmarked!:smallbiggrin:

[Beholder1995]

Hahaha! Bookmarked!:smallbiggrin:

w00t! :smallcool: That's why I'm here...

[Kazasu]

Thanks. :smallbiggrin:

Now... to find some flute jokes (The most hated section in my schools band) :smalltongue:



EDIT: Meh, forgot to put "My"

[Beholder1995]

Thanks. :smallbiggrin:

Now... to find some flute jokes (The most hated section in schools band) :smalltongue:

Really? Don't say that out loud... they may be watching...

The flutes in my band are perfectly respectable... there was a point, even, where they put my band director into shock by being louder than the saxes. :smalltongue:

[The Extinguisher]

I'm a Vocalist. I hate everyone.

:smallbiggrin:

[Kazasu]

Really? Don't say that out loud... they may be watching...

The flutes in my band are perfectly respectable... there was a point, even, where they put my band director into shock by being louder than the saxes. :smalltongue:

Thats impossible with me around.. :smallamused:


I'm a Vocalist. I hate everyone.


:smallbiggrin:

[Beholder1995]

Thats impossible with me around.. :smallamused:

I dunno... my band's got some mean flute players... >.>...

[Kazasu]

I dunno... my band's got some mean flute players... >.>...


Do not underestimate the power of the tuneless!

[Tragic_Comedian]

Q. What do you call someone who can't play a banjo?

A. A mandolin player.

[Sneak]

I play clarinet. I also play the recorder. Mostly alto. And when I say that, I mean I ACTUALLY play the recorder. Not the kind of "playing the recorder" that everyone does in third grade.

It's a real instrument, dammit!

I'm thinking of picking up ukulele, though. I'm not too interested in classic music or jazz, and that's about all you can do with the instruments I play. Ukulele is versatile, fairly easy to learn, not too expensive, and portable.

Sitar also interests me, but it seems like it'd be a real bitch to learn, and I'm not sure I have enough time (and enough tolerance for pain) to pick it up.

I also want to train my voice to be better...I like singing, and I'm not terrible, but I realize that my voice isn't really great, either. And since I randomly break out in song at least once a day anyways, I feel like my friends would definitely appreciate some vocal training. :smalltongue:

Really, though, the perfect instrument is the light harp. I am totally in awe of it.

EDIT: Of course, I'm probably not ever going to get around to actually doing any of this. :smallsigh:

[Uncle Festy]

Sitar also interests me, but it seems like it'd be a real bitch to learn, and I'm not sure I have enough time (and enough tolerance for pain) to pick it up.

Sitar=awesome.
Too lazy to learn it, though.

[ColonelFuster]

I am a classically trained opera singer. It is fun to be one. My girlfriend hates it, because i'll be ramdomly singing a sweet song, and then I get into it and start singing to the balconies, so the general effect is, "to his nobler fate FAAAAAAARES! AND BUT WAVES A HAND AS HE PASSES ON! CRIIIIIIIIIIES BUT A WAYSIDE WORD TO HER, at the garden gate. Sing, but a boyish staaaaaaaave... and his face, is...







(grand pause)



















GOOOOOOOOOOONE! Is gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone..."
and birds are flying skwaking from the trees, and her hair is blown back into her face, and any other number of cartoony things of that nature.
I also play trumpet, baritone, and tuba! As we used to say, t00t!

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

I play violin, and am pretty talented, but I don't practice enough. (Speaking of such, I should be practicing around now.)

I also play Guitar and sing in a rock band. So yeah, 3 instruments here too.

Ok, now I'm going to go practice violin.

[Beholder1995]

I am a classically trained opera singer. It is fun to be one. My girlfriend hates it, because i'll be ramdomly singing a sweet song, and then I get into it and start singing to the balconies, so the general effect is, "to his nobler fate FAAAAAAARES! AND BUT WAVES A HAND AS HE PASSES ON! CRIIIIIIIIIIES BUT A WAYSIDE WORD TO HER, at the garden gate. Sing, but a boyish staaaaaaaave... and his face, is...







(grand pause)



















GOOOOOOOOOOONE! Is gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone..."
and birds are flying skwaking from the trees, and her hair is blown back into her face, and any other number of cartoony things of that nature.
I also play trumpet, baritone, and tuba! As we used to say, t00t!

*collapses, laughing*

You sir, in that one post, have earned opera singers the world over my utmost respect. :smallbiggrin:

[TFT]

Uh... I play in a handbell choir... :smalltongue:

[Uncle Festy]

Your handbell choir needs moar cowbell! Even if it's entirely comprised of cowbells, it still needs moar cowbell!

[Beholder1995]

Your handbell choir needs moar cowbell! Even if it's entirely comprised of cowbells, it still needs moar cowbell!

*COUGH*

...

Any TRADITIONAL musicians amongst the board members? :smalltongue:

[13_CBS]

*COUGH*

...

Any TRADITIONAL musicians amongst the board members? :smalltongue:

Me? :smallbiggrin:

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Violin, remember?

[Uncle Festy]

:smallannoyed:
Hey, I play the piano!
… I just support cowbells. :smalltongue:

[Xeluu]

Percussionist:
falls over the doorstep when trying to enter buildings
says "look at the choo-choo"
wets himself with a water pistol
plays in mud puddles
loses arguments with himself

Hey, I take offense to that. :p That's what we referred to at my high school as a drummer, not a percussionist. We classified the two as separate groups.
The drummers were the ones who cheated off each other for the very few BASIC tests we took, and all of them STILL failed.

The percussionists were the ones who could play the mallet instruments, and passed the tests. XD Personality came into play too.

[JettWilderbeast]

:smallannoyed:
Hey, I play the piano!
… I just support cowbells. :smalltongue:

There is never enough cowbells. Ever.
I'm really surprised no one has mentioned a lack of love for viola players....
I went to see the royal ballet recently and their orchestra was astounding.

[13_CBS]

I'm really surprised no one has mentioned a lack of love for viola players....


What's the difference between a viola and an onion?

You cry when you cut up a viola.

What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

You're driving an armored truck down the highway when you see a cellist and a violist on the road. Who do you run over first and why?

Violist, because business always comes before pleasure.

:smallamused:

(Can't you just feel the violinist pretentiousness oozing out of me?)

[JettWilderbeast]

(Can't you just feel the violinist pretentiousness oozing out of me?)
No I just feel the correct amount of love for violas from you.

[Starshade]

Atm ive once tried Horn, a long time ago, and have in later time been looking into new beginner guitar, but i suspect my true talent could lie closer to singing, since my vocal range is in the countertenor, can manage clear sounds from G3 - A5, and hit tones up to C6. A slightly high Tenor voice, i actually cannot hit low C whatsoever though.

Atm i got sore troath (cold), and can only reach clear 2 tones down from middle C (tried my vocal range now on my Guitar tuner).

And, what was the last the drummer said before he got fired from the band?
Hey, lets try one of my songs!

[randman22222]

I am a classically trained opera singer. It is fun to be one. My girlfriend hates it, because i'll be ramdomly singing a sweet song, and then I get into it and start singing to the balconies, so the general effect is, "to his nobler fate FAAAAAAARES! AND BUT WAVES A HAND AS HE PASSES ON! CRIIIIIIIIIIES BUT A WAYSIDE WORD TO HER, at the garden gate. Sing, but a boyish staaaaaaaave... and his face, is...







(grand pause)



















GOOOOOOOOOOONE! Is gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone..."
and birds are flying skwaking from the trees, and her hair is blown back into her face, and any other number of cartoony things of that nature.
I also play trumpet, baritone, and tuba! As we used to say, t00t!

LMAO! That is epic-level there.

Anywho, today in jazz, I confused all my embouchures up. I tried bassoon embouchure on tenor sax and clarinet at first, and then after watching another clarinettist's lips, got the clarinet embouchure right. Then slowly I remembered tenor sax embouchure.

Tripling wind instruments. Fun stuff. :smallbiggrin:
(I got the embouchures sorted out within the first 30 minutes... :smallsigh:)

[Thufir]

I play violin and viola, kind of play bass guitar and try to teach myself piano when I remember. I also sing tenor, though my vocal range extends to bass, and alto, if necessary.

Jokes, eh?

How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. She holds the bulb in place and the world revolves around her.

A £10 note is on the ground an equal distance away from a 1st violinist, a 2nd violinist, and a viola player (Violist?). Who gets to it first?
The 2nd violinist. The viola player hasn't figured out what's going on, and no 1st violinist will go anywhere for only £10.

If you have a question, who should you ask: A drummer who can keep time, a drummer who can't keep time, or a pink elephant?
The drummer who can't keep time, as the other two are figments of your imagination.

Was sind die drei lagen auf die Bratsche? (What are the three positions on the viola?)
Erstelage, Notlage und Niederlage. (1st position, emergency and defeat)

An orchestra was playing Beethoven's 9th symphony, which has in it a huge gap for the basses in the middle. They took this opportunity to nip out to the pub. After some time, they realised they needed to hurry back, but two of them were so drunk they couldn't be moved. By now, it was really urgent, but they weren't worried, because one of them had cleverly tied the last page of the score shut, so the conductor would have to slow the tempo down while he untied it. As they came back in, the conductor glared at them. Why was he so angry?
Because it was the end of the 9th, the basses were loaded, the score was tied, and there were two men out.

[Perryl]

hey fellow sound artists...

i play piano (for 10 yrs), guitar (3yrs), electric bass(3 1/2 yrs) and sing bass
(range from low B (not Bb, to avoid misunderstandings because in ger, the normal b - again, not b-flat - is called h and bb is b^^) to middle c, above only when kicked in balls spheres^^)

you all seem to bee awesome musicians (some people here playin rather exotic instruments)

my respect to mr operasinger above (too lazy to use quote function or reload last page to look up yer name^^) i love it when anyone drives their girlfriend mad with music^^

anyone here posting from around mainz/wiesbaden, germany? had to quit my rockband cause of problems with our "leader". (we were already the last two remaining members, everyone else already having left due to his grave misbehaviour) looking for opportunity to play music in free time, without bein a slave of conductor in school or church^^, please PM if interested. thank you for takin the time to read:smallbiggrin:

[randman22222]

Well, now I wish I did live in Wiesbaden. :smalltongue:
But hey, having a conductor isn't a bad thing... Well, in my case. Because as annoying as our conductor is, he at least picks out good songs to play.

[skywalker]

What's the difference between a viola and an onion?

You cry when you cut up a viola.

Unless I'm mistaken, BOTCH! :smallbiggrin: No hard feelings?

Uncle Festy has a fever...

[Bryn]

*Twitches psychotically. Twice.*

You'd fit in at GLoG... :smallconfused:
Warning: This spoiler contains overanalysis. Enter at your own risk!
Clearly I've done something horribly, horribly wrong, but I can't actually tell what it was. Somewhat bizarrely, I already feel crushed and dejected, quite an over-reaction considering that the worst transgression I could have made would be a grammar mistake. So, overanalysis, GO!

GLoG is a software company, according to Google and Wikipedia. Presumably, it is a software company with a reputation for doing whatever I did. But what did I do?

So, I spelled it wrong? Can't be that, four (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/albeit) different (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/albeit) online (http://www.hyperdictionary.com/search.aspx?define=albeit) dictionaries (http://www.chambersharrap.co.uk/chambers/features/chref/chref.py/main?title=21st&query=albeit) and the two-volume Shorter Oxford English Dictionary (fifth edition) both tell me that that is an acceptable spelling.

I repeated myself? That was stupid, certainly, but probably not the answer, judging by your post.

I used it inappropriately in a grammatical sense? If that's the case, I apologise. The Confused smily would suggest that it's some mistake you find incomprehensible, so this strikes me as one of the more likely candidates. If I did use it improperly, tell me so, and I will never make that mistake again.

Alternatively, you're just sick of seeing that word. In that case, why does it offend you so? It seems innocuous to me. Is it the fact that the author contradicts themselves by its usage? Is it that you're sick of seeing unnecessary qualifiers on the end of a pronouncement? Maybe the word originated in America, and you don't want an American word tainting the English language? :smallbiggrin:

I am perplexed. I'm also dragging this issue out far, far too long, when a simple question "Why?" would suffice, so I'll stop here.

[Uncle Festy]

@^: The GloG he's talking about is here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=89767).


Uncle Festy has a fever...

Huh? :smallconfused:

[Beholder1995]

@^: The GloG he's talking about is here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=89767).



Huh? :smallconfused:

Huh... you clearly haven't seen the "moar cowbell" video enough, then... :smalltongue:

[Phae Nymna]

Horn Player:
lifts buildings and walks under them
kicks locomotives off the tracks
catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them
freezes water with a single glance
is a god

BOW TO ME, ORCHESTRAL MINIONS!

Seriously though, French Horn. EPIC.

[Sneak]

Huh... you clearly haven't seen the "moar cowbell" video enough, then... :smalltongue:

I guess he really does have a fever, then.

And the only prescription is MOAR MORE COWBELL VIDEO!

EDIT:


What's the difference between a viola and an onion?

You cry when you cut up a viola.

As skywalker pointed out, I believe you left out a fairly important word here. :smalltongue:

[13_CBS]

I guess he really does have a fever, then.

And the only prescription is MOAR MORE COWBELL VIDEO!

EDIT:



As skywalker pointed out, I believe you left out a fairly important word here. :smalltongue:

...and so I did.

Round 2!

What's the difference between a viola and an onion?

You cry when you cut up an onion.

Ba-dum pish.

[The Extinguisher]

Speaking of cowbell, my friends and I tottaly had some cowbell action during Don't Fear the Reaper on Rock Band.

Completley irrelavant, but hey, it's awesome.

[Sequinox]

I play piano and am learning guitar. I'm loving it. (Take THAT, McDonalds!)

[Thufir]

i play piano (for 10 yrs), guitar (3yrs), electric bass(3 1/2 yrs) and sing bass
(range from low B (not Bb, to avoid misunderstandings because in ger, the normal b - again, not b-flat - is called h and bb is b^^) to middle c, above only when kicked in balls spheres^^)

Which low B? I assume the 3rd below middle C but I want to be sure.

[randman22222]

Warning: This spoiler contains overanalysis. Enter at your own risk!
Clearly I've done something horribly, horribly wrong, but I can't actually tell what it was. Somewhat bizarrely, I already feel crushed and dejected, quite an over-reaction considering that the worst transgression I could have made would be a grammar mistake. So, overanalysis, GO!

GLoG is a software company, according to Google and Wikipedia. Presumably, it is a software company with a reputation for doing whatever I did. But what did I do?

So, I spelled it wrong? Can't be that, four (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/albeit) different (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/albeit) online (http://www.hyperdictionary.com/search.aspx?define=albeit) dictionaries (http://www.chambersharrap.co.uk/chambers/features/chref/chref.py/main?title=21st&query=albeit) and the two-volume Shorter Oxford English Dictionary (fifth edition) both tell me that that is an acceptable spelling.

I repeated myself? That was stupid, certainly, but probably not the answer, judging by your post.

I used it inappropriately in a grammatical sense? If that's the case, I apologise. The Confused smily would suggest that it's some mistake you find incomprehensible, so this strikes me as one of the more likely candidates. If I did use it improperly, tell me so, and I will never make that mistake again.

Alternatively, you're just sick of seeing that word. In that case, why does it offend you so? It seems innocuous to me. Is it the fact that the author contradicts themselves by its usage? Is it that you're sick of seeing unnecessary qualifiers on the end of a pronouncement? Maybe the word originated in America, and you don't want an American word tainting the English language? :smallbiggrin:

I am perplexed. I'm also dragging this issue out far, far too long, when a simple question "Why?" would suffice, so I'll stop here.

Yeah, it's a little joke in GLoG. They severely overuse the word 'albeit', mainly because it makes me twitch like I'm about to kill someone.

Soo... Music stuff. What to talk about. Can't think of anything. :smallconfused:

[Beholder1995]

Yeah, it's a little joke in GLoG. They severely overuse the word 'albeit', mainly because it makes me twitch like I'm about to kill someone.

Soo... Music stuff. What to talk about. Can't think of anything. :smallconfused:

I can. You're a saxophone player, right?

Are there saxes in Orchestras?

[Bandededed]

Are there saxes in Orchestras?

Only if they're special. They did make some pitched in C and F for orchestras, but hell, the Altos got violin parts. Have you seen a violin part? Ouch.

I play sax, by the way.

Interesting, too, that the french horns previously mentioned seem to think they're so good... In my band, they always similar parts to ours, but could never play them.

So who's been running headfirst into walls now? :smalltongue:

[Beholder1995]

Okay, here's another question for all to answer:

I know there are first trumpet parts, second trumpet parts, third trumpet parts, etc. I know this also applies to Violins.

What other instruments does this apply to?

[13_CBS]

Okay, here's another question for all to answer:

I know there are first trumpet parts, second trumpet parts, third trumpet parts, etc. I know this also applies to Violins.

What other instruments does this apply to?

In symphonic orchestras, the "1st, 2nd, etc." parts usually fall to the band instruments. IIRC, there can be 1st-4th flute parts, 1st-4th clarinet parts, and so forth down the line to oboes, bassoons, trumpets, trombones, tubas...

For the strings, there are normally only 1st and 2nd violin parts. Sometimes there might be a 3rd violin part, though that's usually a viola part adapted for violins. Some pieces call for sections to be divided into several parts as well, though these are usually split into "outside, inside" parts.

[Beholder1995]

Cool, thanks. :smallcool:

[Castaras]

Clarinet player here, hopefully going for Grade 6 this year.

Can play Keyboard kinda. Going to look into Guitar lessons because me self-teaching myself guitar was a failure.

I can also sing quite well (alto/sopranoish, but with a small range), and have a very good musical ear.

[InksGuy]

Grade 5 Pianist, hopefully taking Grade Six before Christmas, or whenever I stop having nightmares about being chased by hemidemisemiquavers. *shudders*

But I get distracted from grades by nicer sounding music. Like "Le Onde" by Ludovico Einaudi.

I suppose I also play Ukulele, but I'm told by my elitist guitar playing friend that it's not an instrument if it has less than six strings. I pointed out that a piano has 88... :smallsmile:

[SoD]

Yer don' wanna mess wit' me. Ye're talkin' to a second alto saxophonist in tha’ AABT.

Well, ex-second alto saxophonist, I'm currently trying to get back in.

Also an advanced pianist.

[Je dit Viola]

I play Viola! And Violin (but I like viola better)! And Piano! And I sing! And I am learning guitar, but I'm not very good at it...

Oh, and here's a joke that makes you laugh if you're in an Orchestra...

What's the defenition of a string quartet?

A good violinist, a bad violinist, an ex-violinist, and someone who hates violinists all getting together to complain about composers

oh, and I can't forget viola jokes (because what would the world be without them?)

Why is a viola better than a violin?
1. It burns longer
2. It holds more beer
3. when you walk into a bank holding a viola case, people don't scream and call the police on you (I just got this part of the joke a couple days ago)
and
A violist and a conductor are in the middle of a road. Who do you hit first?
The conductor. Buisiness before pleasure.

sorry. Kind of overdid it on the spoilers.

[Yarram]

Atm ive once tried Horn, a long time ago, and have in later time been looking into new beginner guitar, but i suspect my true talent could lie closer to singing, since my vocal range is in the countertenor, can manage clear sounds from G3 - A5, and hit tones up to C6. A slightly high Tenor voice, i actually cannot hit low C whatsoever though.


Thats a funny way to describe your range... When you say middle C you mean the one below the treble but above the bass stave?
Yeah that doesn't make you a tenor, rather it makes you a soprano, which means you're under 15 and your voice hasn't dropped yet.
You still got a few years left before you can put any sort of hold on your voice then, because the male voice doesn't stop changing untill you're 25. (Actually it doesn't stop changing untill you're 40, but it stops all major pitch changes).

Moving on:
I play tuba. Tuba is the best instument ever. Ask any unbiased conductor and they'll support me on this definately. You should all learn tuba.

The conductor, the electric bass player and the percussionist fall out the back of a moving bus. What does the rest of the band do?
Nothing. Who cares?

[bluewind95]

I'm trying to teach myself to play the violin. But I'm not sure if that counts. And my new violin sounds kind of odd. And it falls out of tune every single day. And I have no tuning instrument. I use a keyboard and hope for the best.

But I still like to play it (or try to anyways!).

[Boo]

Moving on:
I play tuba. Tuba is the best instument ever. Ask any unbiased conductor and they'll support me on this definately. You should all learn tuba.

Funny :smalltongue:

Personally I play Piano a little. I'm not good enough to do much with it, but I like to fiddle with the notes to make my own little tunes.

[MisterSaturnine]

I wrote a new song last night, and am very pleased with the results. :smallbiggrin:

Nothing quite like the satisfaction you get from finishing a song.

[13_CBS]

I'm trying to teach myself to play the violin. But I'm not sure if that counts. And my new violin sounds kind of odd. And it falls out of tune every single day. And I have no tuning instrument. I use a keyboard and hope for the best.

But I still like to play it (or try to anyways!).

Chances are that your violin is...not of the best quality. If the weather is cold and dry as well, then your violin's pegs will shrink, detuning them. For your level of playing, a normal keyboard is fine for tuning.

[Moff Chumley]

I'd like to make something clear. I am not an elitist, close minded, unoriginal pianist. I don't even really like keyboardist. I am a synthesizer player. Before any of you declare them to be the same, I'd like to point out that a synth is such an infantely more versatile instrument than a piano. On a piano, can you create, lets see, any sound you feel like? Can you match the granduer of a huge combi pad, or the grittiness of a distorted, twisting mono lead? I'm not denying that pianos have their place, and I love the instrument, but the pure creation and satisfaction involved in programming and then playing the perfect synth patch is unequalled. Synthesizers offer, for those who know how to use them, the ultimate form of expression. For instqance, take a Korg M3. In addition to a large keyboard with so many octave extenders as to cover the entire human range of hearing, you have perhaps two dozen ways of manipulating the sound without changing the pitch. You can almost perfectly make any noise you can imagine. And yet, synthesizers have a terrible rep in the music community; is it fear that they might be put out of work? Is it jealousy, or is it close mindedness, and an unwillingness to aknowledge the sonic potential of a synth?

/rant

[bluewind95]

It certainly is not of the best quality. I bought a relatively cheap one. Not THE cheapest, but a cheap one nonetheless. After all, I'm only starting and I can't take classes yet or anything, so it wouldn't exactly be a great idea to get an awesome violin. I couldn't afford it anyways. It is, however, a pretty violin and it's all mine.

... I also seem to have applied WAY too much rosin on the bow, so that's not helping the sound any. It sounds better each day, but it still can sound really scratchy. Then I have to clean the strings, and it sounds okayish again... and then it goes back to being scratchy. But that's OK, I guess. It's not like I'm gonna be playing in an orchestra. Just annoying the heck out of my neighbors (though to be fair, I do at least close the window and door to start playing, and I only do so during the day).

[zeratul]

I play Viola! And Violin (but I like viola better)! And Piano! And I sing! And I am learning guitar, but I'm not very good at it...

Oh, and here's a joke that makes you laugh if you're in an Orchestra...

What's the defenition of a string quartet?

A good violinist, a bad violinist, an ex-violinist, and someone who hates violinists all getting together to complain about composers

oh, and I can't forget viola jokes (because what would the world be without them?)

Why is a viola better than a violin?
1. It burns longer
2. It holds more beer
3. when you walk into a bank holding a viola case, people don't scream and call the police on you (I just got this part of the joke a couple days ago)
and
A violist and a conductor are in the middle of a road. Who do you hit first?
The conductor. Buisiness before pleasure.

sorry. Kind of overdid it on the spoilers.

Ah good music jokes, I hadn't heard those, my two favourites would have to be

How do you know when theres a soprano at the door?
She can't find the key and she doesn't know when to come in.

What's the difference between a guitarist and a medium pizza?
A medium pizza can feed a family of five.

[Thufir]

Another joke!

What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull?
A bull has the horns at the front and the arse at the back.

I'm sure I had another one, but I can't bring it to mind...

[eidreff]

Long term guitartist here, played for about 23 years..... (*feels oooold*)....... sing like an injured cat, play a little keyboard and am fantastic at playing the fool.


What do you do with a dead [insert instrument of choice] player?

move them forward a desk.

[Yarram]

I'd like to make something clear. I am not an elitist, close minded, unoriginal pianist. I don't even really like keyboardist. I am a synthesizer player. Before any of you declare them to be the same, I'd like to point out that a synth is such an infantely more versatile instrument than a piano. On a piano, can you create, lets see, any sound you feel like? Can you match the granduer of a huge combi pad, or the grittiness of a distorted, twisting mono lead? I'm not denying that pianos have their place, and I love the instrument, but the pure creation and satisfaction involved in programming and then playing the perfect synth patch is unequalled. Synthesizers offer, for those who know how to use them, the ultimate form of expression. For instqance, take a Korg M3. In addition to a large keyboard with so many octave extenders as to cover the entire human range of hearing, you have perhaps two dozen ways of manipulating the sound without changing the pitch. You can almost perfectly make any noise you can imagine. And yet, synthesizers have a terrible rep in the music community; is it fear that they might be put out of work? Is it jealousy, or is it close mindedness, and an unwillingness to aknowledge the sonic potential of a synth?

/rant

Yeah I'm not a great fan of the Synth thing though I do it myself sometimes...

I'd like to make something clear. I am not an elitist, close minded, unoriginal pianist. I don't even really like keyboardist.
That was abit over the top you think? You're really stereotyping pianists HARD there... As in REALLY hard. I'm sure you've worked yourself up into a state about pianists looking down on you, but thats no reason to be cruel. You're talking as if all pianists play Bach and Choppin, have sticks up there butts and hold there nose up to the world. =P

Moving on, the main reason I'm not into synth is it's so structured and two dimensional. You can't get the warmth an old-fasioned grand piano gives in a chord. Sure synths are fun to play everynow and again but they don't typically stir emotion in me when I play them.

I also disagree with you saying that synthesises are the ultimate form of expression because they sound fake. I have an example of how real music sounds better than synthesised music:
Final Fantasy: Listen to "One Winged Angel," the digital version played inside final fantasy 7 then compare it to the orchestral version... Man I love that version. *shivers with glee*
(Only song better has to be from Mozarts Requiem "Kyrie Eleison."
Man that sounds so godly with a 600 man choir. Godly.)

Also I'm not into most rap and pop music because it's souless.

[Thufir]

(Only song better has to be from Mozart's Requiem "Kyrie Eleison."
Man that sounds so godly with a 600 man choir. Godly.)

a) There are better things. Beethoven's 9th symphony and Mahler's 8th symphony spring to mind.

b) Choir of 600 makes me jealous (Assuming they were all good singers).

[Pauwel]

I'd like to make something clear. I am not an elitist, close minded, unoriginal pianist. I don't even really like keyboardist. I am a synthesizer player. Before any of you declare them to be the same, I'd like to point out that a synth is such an infantely more versatile instrument than a piano. On a piano, can you create, lets see, any sound you feel like? Can you match the granduer of a huge combi pad, or the grittiness of a distorted, twisting mono lead? I'm not denying that pianos have their place, and I love the instrument, but the pure creation and satisfaction involved in programming and then playing the perfect synth patch is unequalled. Synthesizers offer, for those who know how to use them, the ultimate form of expression. For instqance, take a Korg M3. In addition to a large keyboard with so many octave extenders as to cover the entire human range of hearing, you have perhaps two dozen ways of manipulating the sound without changing the pitch. You can almost perfectly make any noise you can imagine. And yet, synthesizers have a terrible rep in the music community; is it fear that they might be put out of work? Is it jealousy, or is it close mindedness, and an unwillingness to aknowledge the sonic potential of a synth?

/rant

As a fellow synth-player and pianist, I agree with you.

Besides playing synth and piano and keyboard instruments in general, I can sing. My range is something like D2-F4. Falsetto extends that by about an octave. My voice improved a great deal when I started doing choir singing, and I have taken a few vocal technique courses, but I'd like some more training at some point.
And I can play a jew's harp, if that even counts as an instrument.

I've just started practicing acoustic guitar chords, but so far I pretty much suck. :smalltongue:

[Yarram]

a) There are better things. Beethoven's 9th symphony and Mahler's 8th symphony spring to mind.

b) Choir of 600 makes me jealous (Assuming they were all good singers).

a) Really? Cool I'm going for it.

b)Yeah the singers weren't great but they were all pretty good. Pretty damn good. (same choir ran every year till this year and we did some other really great stuff including this awsome Beatle's medly and a Les Misrebles medly as well. We did heaps of other stuff too, I just can't seem to remember it at this moment.)

[randman22222]

Today I opened up, and blew into my bassoon for the first time in a while.
Just like riding a bike. It all came back to me in a few minutes. Good thing, too, because I've got a chamber winds rehearsal tomorrow. :smalltongue:

[Thufir]

I just had a rehearsal of Faure's Requiem this evening. I find it strange doing it with a decent sized tenor section, since last time I sang it was in a choir with... 2 tenors, including me.

[Szilard]

I play Tuba and Baritone, but I'm hoping to play Tenor Sax next year. I am also in Marching Band.

[randman22222]

I play Tuba and Baritone, but I'm hoping to play Tenor Sax next year. I am also in Marching Band.

Tenor sax is a FUN instrument, especially in jazz. :smallcool:

[afroakuma]

Trumpet Player:
argues with building when it won't get out of the way
sleeps in locomotive
claims it's too easy to catch bullets in teeth explaining why he really can't
saves water to drink after every triple C
thinks he's a god.

Done them all. Sober, no less.

[Szilard]

How do you get two oboes in tune?
Well everyone knows that one.:smalltongue: But once we actually did get two oboes in tune without a gun.

[Jalor]

You can tune oboes?

(By the way, I play euphonium.)

[Szilard]

Yeah,:smalltongue: and my brother was one of the oboe players.

(Cool.)

[Jalor]

I actually told a ton of band jokes at rehearsal today. One of the drum majors cracked up at:
If you need advice on an important decision, do you ask:
-A drummer who can keep time?
-A drummer who can't keep time?
-A pink elephant?


The drummer who can't keep time. The others are figments of your imagination.

The sad part is that this is actually true for my band. Then again, the drum majors aren't so great at counting either, so we change tempo like a progressive death metal band.

[13_CBS]

a) There are better things. Beethoven's 9th symphony and Mahler's 8th symphony spring to mind.


I call your Beethoven and Mahler and raise you a Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. :smallbiggrin:

Think a 600-person chorus is kickarse? Try a 600-person chorus singing in Russian. It's awesome.

[randman22222]

I actually told a ton of band jokes at rehearsal today. One of the drum majors cracked up at:
If you need advice on an important decision, do you ask:
-A drummer who can keep time?
-A drummer who can't keep time?
-A pink elephant?


The drummer who can't keep time. The others are figments of your imagination.

The sad part is that this is actually true for my band. Then again, the drum majors aren't so great at counting either, so we change tempo like a progressive death metal band.

Haha, that's how our drummer in jazz can be. The sad part is that sometimes he'll actually switch into a neo-prog rock beat. :smallyuk:

[Jalor]

Our percussion section leader actually listens to just as much death metal as I do, and from what I've heard also has a tendency to lapse into unexpected blast beats during jazz band, when he actually has a full drum kit.

[Pauwel]

What do you call it when a musician in a rock band plays the wrong note?

Jazz influence.

[Moff Chumley]

No, you call it indie. Some jokes from my bands:
Baritone guitarists are compensating for something.
What do you call guitar tuners? "The Man". (Get it? Get it? No, I thought not...)
How do you know when Moff Chumley's been listening to Nu Metal? "He guys, I found another band we're better than..."
Why does Moff Chumley use more than one keyboard? As an excuse for stealing the guitarist's patch cable. Lord knows what'll happen when he finally gets a modular.

Speaking of Modular Synths, has anyone in the playground played one? It's currently my obsession to find one.

[Ash08]

Whats the description for a harp and guitar player?






OTHER than odd?(No snickering!)

[Egiam]

I started playing young and the years went by like "a speeding bullet". here is my musical resume:
2 years piano
1 year guitar
3 years recorder
2 years Electric bass

here is a musical joke (sorry if this has been already said, but I have not read the whole thread).

What is the difference between an onion and a banjo?
[Nobody cries when you cut up a banjo]
Highlight between brackets for answer.

[Prismism]

Alto Saxophone here, been playing it for 9 years. You'd have thought I'd have moved onto something more challenging by now, but truly I cannot be arsed :smalltongue:
I also play a tiny amount of piano and a moderate amount of acoustic guitar.

And as far as band jokes are concerned, I know it's an old one but...

What do you call 1000 violas buried at the bottom of the sea?

A good start

[Raien]

I played clarinet starting in 5th grade and dropped out of band halfway through my junior year of high school...in that time, I also played bari sax in jazz band, bass clarinet, and snare drum for marching band (I went to a small school and somehow all the percussionists except like three graduated, so we needed percussionists super bad and I volunteered). I still have my clarinet (needs to be recorked badly, but I don't have the money) and take it out and play it every once in a while, and bought a bass about five years ago and have been teaching myself in an entirely halfassed way on and off...I can play a few songs and can keep a good rhythm, and I've started trying to sing while playing, since I'd never done that before. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be.

I'd love to learn to play the violin, banjo and bagpipes, if I had the time and the money.

[Goblin Music]

I play guitar, but i know a little lyre and ocarina
a different horn:smalltongue:
http://www.si.umich.edu/CHICO/instrument/pages/strn_780.jpg

[xanaphia]

I play guitar, piano, synthesiser, bass, drums, recorder (properly), pennywhistle, vocals. I record my own songs, with me on all parts.

You people are very talented, you know that? We could start a Gitp Orchestra.

What do you call the guy who hangs around with the musicians?
The drummer.

[Jimorian]

Played alto sax in school from 5th to 11th grade. Haven't picked it up since (I could never get used to the annoyance of the mouthpiece vibrations and the lower lip callous).

I noodle around with keyboard/MIDI/home recording since then and have recorded a handful of songs that way.

[randman22222]

I could never get used to the annoyance of the mouthpiece vibrations and the lower lip callous.

Heehee, I shudder to think how long you'd last on a bassoon. :smalltongue:

[Moff Chumley]

I play guitar, piano, synthesiser, bass, drums, recorder (properly), pennywhistle, vocals. I record my own songs, with me on all parts.

You people are very talented, you know that? We could start a Gitp Orchestra.

What do you call the guy who hangs around with the musicians?
The drummer.

Woo, a fellow synth player. What kind synths do you use? I've been eyeing a Korg M3 for a while...