Need backbone, will pay $$$ [Rant]

[Mr. Moon]

Or a new set of friends. Or even a decent Reflex Save.

I need to learn to assert myself. I really do. I don't get any respect from my friends, no matter how hard I try to make them happy. I have no Reflex save worth mentioning, a fact that my friends had great fun with today at lunch. Right now, I have no idea where my sketch book, pencil case, or art pencils, are right now. I put them down in front of me, and boom, they get snatched up, along with my lunch. At first, it was amusing, but when I got annoyed and asked for my stuff back, what happens? Piehunter slams my hat over my face and blinds me while he and Purple hide my stuff. :smallfurious: I'm lucky Halo stopped Purple from taking my glasses, for pete's sake. :smallfurious: I asked for my stuff again, to giggles and blank stares. Finaly, I got pissed. And when I get pissed, I start to cry. There was no way I was going to cry in front of them. So I stood up, and walked away. I hid in the lybrary until the bell rang. (No one came to look for me, but one total stranger stopped to ask me if I needed someone to talk to. A total stranger was nicer to me than my friends. :smallfurious::smallfrown:) I didn't go back for my stuff, I don't need it for this class, and I don't want to face them. But my next class has me right next to Piehunter, who's going to be an idiot and keep bugging me dispite the fact that I'm obviously pissed at him.

GAH!!! Why can't I stand up for myself? It's like I don't care what they do to me, as long as they stay my friends. After all, I'm as shy as a deer. If they stopped being friends with me, I wouldn't be able to make new ones. But I swear, there are days with these guys that make me wish I hadn't gotten out of bed.

[alexeduardo]

I feel your pain, but that's what the internet's here for

[Tempest Fennac]

That sounds really bad.:smallfrown: Have you complained to the teachers yet? I'd try to avoid people like that (I had a lot of problems like that as well when I was younger).

[Exeson]

People will give you all the advice they want and whatever, but sometimes you just need to give people a good smack.

Or if you are not the violent type then just completely ignore them for a while.

[Tormsskull]

But I swear, there are days with these guys that make me wish I hadn't gotten out of bed.

Take your pick:

Tough love approach

Wah wah wah. Everyone has problems. Deal with it.


Darwinian approach:

People walk all over you because you let them. If you stand up for yourself and tell them to F off, they typically will leave you alone.


After School special approach:

You have to have respect for yourself, and seeing as how your "friends" are treating you so poorly, perhaps you need to reevaluate your critera for friendship.


Mischievious approach:

She who laughs last, laughes loudest. Figure out a way to pull some kind of a prank on your perpetrators and turn the tables on them.

[Dallas-Dakota]

MC, I´m feeling like hitting your supposed ´friends´ in the face.

Dont´hang out with them anymore, please, being alone sounds better then with those supposed ´friends´. Halo sounds the nicest of them though, but they sound like bullies...

:smallsigh: Why can´t Scotty just beam me up and over there......

[Mr. Moon]

People will give you all the advice they want and whatever, *snip*

I know they will. That's not really what I want.

Really, what I want is a hug and someone to pat me on the back and to tell me they love me.

They aren't bullies. They can be the nicest people I know and I really like them. It's just... some times they take things to far.

[Arioch]

I have the crying problem, and I'm a boy. Yeah, don't I sound pathetic now. That's why I try not to get upset.

I'm not good at advice, but I'll try. It sounds as though you have a couple of friends who aren't like the others. Get closer to them. The others don't sound like friends at all. Don't stick with them. And if you really can't find a way to deal with them, tell.

I don't know what year you're in. Things change as you go up through school. Or, at least, they have in mine. I had trouble with bullying up until Year 9 (don't know what that is in other country's systems). I fixed it by expanding my friends base and being friendly to everyone who wasn't openly hostile. Now I'm in Year 12, and apart from a couple of proper enmities (at least one of which is my fault - I regret my actions, but can't really undo them) I'm more-or-less well liked.

So that's my advice. Ascertain who your real friends are, and stick with them. Get rid of the others. Personally, I think it's better to have fewer friends than to have "friends" who bully you. Try and extend your friends base. Oh, and guard your stuff. It sucks, but in secondary school you're pretty much doomed to have stuff stolen. Make sure you lock your locker securely, and if you have trouble with theft, take out as little as you can at any given time.

I don't know how helpful this is. I don't normally do this sort of thing. :smallredface:

[alexeduardo]

They aren't bullies. They can be the nicest people I know and I really like them. It's just... some times they take things to far.

...
it appears you and I have a different understanding of niceness

[Tempest Fennac]

I agree with Alex. You're much better off dumping people like that as soon as you can.

[Crispy Dave]

I had the same kind of problem in middle school. People are ***** and the school wont do crap about it. Now usualy I wouldent go to this but with school I think street justice is acceptable.

Also I am sorry and offer you a hug *hugs

[snoopy13a]

Or a new set of friends. Or even a decent Reflex Save.

I need to learn to assert myself. I really do. I don't get any respect from my friends, no matter how hard I try to make them happy.

Your friends are bullies who know they can pick on you and you'll still be their friend*. Totally ignore them for now. Ask your teacher to have your seat changed if you have to sit next to them in class. It appears like you have an interest in art so try talking to some of the girls in your art class. You have at least art as a common interest and chances are that you may have more.

*Sometimes boys pick on girls as a way of flirting but it sounds a little more drastic than that.

[Dr. Bath]

I know they will. That's not really what I want.

Really, what I want is a hug and someone to pat me on the back and to tell me they love me.

They aren't bullies. They can be the nicest people I know and I really like them. It's just... some times they take things to far.

*hugs and pats on the back* You'll have to settle for an 'I think you're pretty cool' though. :smalltongue:

People are like that sometimes. Your lack of any big reaction is going to say more about how annoyed you are than anything else, if my past experience is anything to go by.

[Dallas-Dakota]

I know they will. That's not really what I want.

Really, what I want is a hug and someone to pat me on the back and to tell me they love me..

*hugs, pats on bag* ´And ermm. Like ya a whole lot?

[Arioch]

Goodness, lots of people posted while I was writing. Anyways, if you feel that these people really are good, just...talk to them. Properly. Tell them how you feel and why. They might laugh it off or act embarrassed, but if they're real friends then they'll think about what you said, and hopefullystop, or at least try to stop. I've tried this before, and it worked.


Really, what I want is a hug and someone to pat me on the back and to tell me they love me.

Aw, we love you really. :smallbiggrin: We just like giving advice.

Necromancers don't hug, but here's a slaymate to hug you from me.

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/libris_gallery/84772.jpg

[Exeson]

[QUOTE=Moon_Called;4931610]Really, what I want is a hug and someone to pat me on the back and to tell me they love me.[/QUOTE

In that case.

*hugs* Its all ok, here in the playground we love you. *pats on back*

[insecure]

I know they will. That's not really what I want.

Really, what I want is a hug and someone to pat me on the back and to tell me they love me.

They aren't bullies. They can be the nicest people I know and I really like them. It's just... some times they take things to far.

*Hugs and pats on back*

How many times a week do they "take things to far"?

EDIT: Simu-hug!:smallsmile:

[alexeduardo]

oh, I almost forgot
*hugs and pats on the back*

don't mind my akwardness, I hurt my leg some weeks ago and it's still there.

[Jack Squat]

Stand up to them, let them know that it bugs you. I'd say ditch them and find new friends, but that's never as easy as it sounds. I still say start trying to make friends with new people, and start to phase out your current friends, which will most likely happen after school anyways.

They probably don't know that it bugs you so much, I know that seems like a stupid statement; but when people are doing something, they get tunnel vision and don't always see everything they're causing. The easiest way to get this through to them is to let them know that it bugs you, and if they're worth keeping as friends, they'll stop it. If not, it's time to move on.

I know you probably don't want advice, but over the 'net, it's harder to give much else.

[Trog]

Been through this before back in school. Here's my advice:

First of all I noticed this:

I need to learn to assert myself. I really do. I don't get any respect from my friends, no matter how hard I try to make them happy.
Emphasis mine. Okay, first of all it isn't your duty, even as a friend, to "make" others happy. Do NOT look for their approval. I can't help but feel you are beginning to draw some unhealthy boundaries here. I know. I drew the same ones in this same situation. You will get no respect in trying to please your friends. All they will do is more of the same. So stop.

Now... sometimes whilst growing up kids can be real jerks. And oftentimes, when they look back, they feel bad about what they've done. Sometimes not, though. What your friends are doing is picking on you. Likely they pick on each other too. Difference is it is more fun to pick on you because you keep looking for approval even when they tease you.

Solution (School of hard knocks here people): Stop feeling down on yourself, learn to laugh at yourself and TEASE THEM BACK. Seriously. Either they'll get annoyed with your behavior and will realize they are doing the same thing and it all will stop or they'll keep going because it is fun to pull stuff on your friends. You never know you might have fun too.

[Zeful]

I had some of the same problems, though when I get angry, I get violent, everybody at the school knew it so they didn't mess with my stuff. Since you don't want advice (or my advice for that matter) umm... *awkwardly pats on shoulder in reassuring manner* ...yeah.

[wadledo]

Cho need somebody to teach 'em a lesson about treating people how they want to be treated?:smallconfused:
We got's a special on reverse Aesop's Fables this week.
They'll never look at a mouse and a thorn bush the same again.
We also run a special service for you personally, where we take a portion of their favorite childhood toy and incorporate it into a large stuffed teddy bear with the words

You pay us,
we rough up da' punks.
on it's cuddly stomach.

[bosssmiley]

Or a new set of friends.

You have the solution right there. Friendship requires mutual trust and sympathy for one others' limits and vulnerabilities; the names you cite have failed to display those qualities, therefore they are not your friends in any meaningful sense.

Get new friends. Preferably ones who are more mature than to play silly little "tee hee, hide her stuff" games. :smallannoyed:

Don't necessarily cut your current friends acquaintances dead straight away, just taper off the time you spend with them. The less you have to do with people who consider upsetting you a source of entertainment the happier life will be.

[Cubey]

Refuse to deal with them. If they come anyway and try their antics again, smack them as hard as you can.

Who needs real life jerkasses as friends? You have the forum already.

[Shadow]

All that.

Hear Hear!!!

[Mr. Moon]

But I don't want to be alone. I tried it once. I could have killed myself. And it's so hard for me to make friends. I can't talk to people I don't know. Physicly. The thought of saying hi to someone new makes me want to throw up.


Anyways, if you feel that these people really are good, just...talk to them. Properly. Tell them how you feel and why

Yeah, that's the plan. If I can pull myself together by the end of this class, I'll talk to Piehunter. If not, I'm going home early.


How many times a week do they "take things to far"?

Hardly a week. This is the first time in a few years that I've felt this bad, or they've taken it this far.



I'm going to go away now. I can't keep up with the entries and every time I refresh I start to get worse. I'll do some thinking, and maybe I'll be back after school, maybe not.

Thanks guys.

[Smiley_]

While many people will suggest that you should just find some new friends, it usually isn't as simple as that. When I was younger, I ditched my supposed "friends" because they were jerks, but being incredibly shy and unassertive, I was completely alone, unable to find anyone else. I was prone to emotional breakdowns, panic attacks and overall, it was a time of my life I would rather forget.

I never got a backbone until I was eventually convinced to take martial arts calsses. Now, I have a black belt in Tae-Kwon-Do and my emotional foundation was strengthened greatly.

The fact is, I'm still shy and introverted, but much more assertive. I have made a few friends since then. There are good people in the world if you just look, though bringing yourself to do so will probably be difficult.

[alexeduardo]

I never got a backbone until I was eventually convinced to take martial arts calsses.

that could work. knowing how to split a skull in half reall heighthens yer self-esteem

[Shadow]

Hugseseses!

[Arioch]

Hugseseses!

EEEVIL Hugseseses! :xykon:

[Ego Slayer]

Thog hugseseseses? :thog:

Ahem. Well, I'm not quite sure what to tell ya. Everyone is always far better with advice than I am.

If you can talk to them (maybe it's just me, but I'd make a point of being ticked off instead of using a "please stop :smallfrown:" tone because it seems a bit submissive and adds to the "I try to make them happy" which, as Trog said, is not one's job in a friendship), then do so. If you don't get the kind of response you'd like (apologetic or such), maybe avoid them as best you can. And if a bit of guilt doesn't set it, then they're not worth your effort and you should find some friends who act like friends to you. Friendship is not one-sided.

[/end Ego's lame advice]

[Dragor]

Moon Called, much huggles.

That being said, this has happened to me before. I was commonly the butt of the joke to my friends; they'd insult my intelligence, my sense and reason (and sometimes even my family) to my face and expect me to laugh it off. One day my fuse blew and I told them if they didn't bleeping stop it I'd rip their bleepers off. I'm not that cold now, but if it starts up in an unfriendly way again I'll say "I don't find that at all funny."

They can still be your friends. Just tell them no. No means no. If they're truly your friends, they will understand you perfectly that you are upset about this, and the joke is over.

But we feel for you. I can't imagine what it's like in your shoes- nobody truly can. So I offer that advice. If you need to talk, you're fine to PM me and chat about it privately.

- Dragor :smallsmile:

[Oregano]

Personally I agree with the good doctor(bath), ignore the ridiculious bullying, it works, because they're trying to get a reaction(they may not have intended to upset you that much though), just laugh at them if they're being foolish, bu pretend to laugh with them and if they don't give you you're stuff back after about five minutes, just explain to them that you need it and if they don't care get someone big to help you(I never had to do this, I tower over everyone I know). But usually if you don't react badly they'll probably jsut end up stopping and don't get angry, remain calm.

[Castaras]

People will give you all the advice they want and whatever, but sometimes you just need to give people a good smack.

Or if you are not the violent type then just completely ignore them for a while.

Even if you aren't the violent type, a little violence can help.

I was known as the most timid, quiet little geek in the class. Some guy and his henchmen piss me off, and I slap him. Ding, he isn't and still isn't after 2 years annoying me.

Sometimes, the pure shock can help.

[Lord_Asmodeus]

My friends did that to me last year (like, every day at lunch) but they always gave me my stuff back, and they knew when to cut it out (probably from the death glares I'd shoot them, I'm not exactly a scary guy, but I can glare with the best of them) I don't really cry when I'm mad... only when I'm really embarrassed (which, as you might imagine, does nothing to help the matter) I cast my vote with talking to your friends, and telling them its not okay. I lived with it because we'd do mean things to everyone in our group of friends, because all of my friends were jerks and to be honest, thats why they were my friends. They were jerks but there were way worse kids in my school and to be honest I was a jerk too. And besides, if I didn't want to be with those friends I could always fall back on my other friend (and guy crush, but he still doesn't know it) and his group of friends (the guys I knew, the mass of girls who hung out with him less so)

And *hugs and pats on back*

[Mr. Moon]

To everyone who hugged me: *hugs back*

To those of you suggesting I find new friends, cough up your magic wands or that's not going to happen. It just isn't.

To those of you telling me to ignore them: And therein lies the plan. Time to be sullen and moody until someone figures it out. Such fun.

To those of you telling me to talk to them: I'll try. I tried talking to Piehunter, and it didn't go to bad. I actualy managed to tell him "I'm not very happy with you right now." I changed my seat so I wouldn't have to sit next to him. For some reason, he thinks I'm angry that he brought my stuff back? :smallconfused::smallyuk::smallsigh: Twerp.

@Cassie: Good advice, and one of the funniest mental images I've seen in a while.

Yeah, I'm in a better mood now that I'm out of the enviroment. You guys helped a lot too. I friggin' love this place.

[Helgraf]

I know they will. That's not really what I want.

Really, what I want is a hug and someone to pat me on the back and to tell me they love me.

They aren't bullies. They can be the nicest people I know and I really like them. It's just... some times they take things to far.

:hugs, pats on back: Love ya, stranger.

[Ganurath]

I'm in favor of the violent approach. That is to say, your fellow playgrounders are violent on your behalf. If I can get away with starting a fight (accidentally) and not get punished, I can get away with roughing up some thieves. Or at least grant such loopholish immunity to those close enough to aid you.

Also, find new friends. *hugs*

[Fri]

Have you try punching?

edit: yeah, the general idea is same with castaras'.

[Icewalker]

As I'm sure has been suggested numerous times so far (Just skimmed the first page) I suggest you get friends who are...friendly.

[Zeful]

To those of you suggesting I find new friends, cough up your magic wands or that's not going to happen. It just isn't.

We're not your friends? I thought we were friends. (http://www.whataboutmomblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/puss-in-boots.jpg)

It needed to be said. We'll support you, and provide pictures of crying cats to make you feel better.

[The Extinguisher]

To those of you telling me to talk to them: I'll try. I tried talking to Piehunter, and it didn't go to bad. I actualy managed to tell him "I'm not very happy with you right now." I changed my seat so I wouldn't have to sit next to him. For some reason, he thinks I'm angry that he brought my stuff back? :smallconfused::smallyuk::smallsigh: Twerp.

This is your best bet. Talk to them, let them know you don't like it. A lot of times, it's hard to see what someone likes or not. If you let them know, they should be willing to stop. What seems to be happening here is that your friends think it's no big deal, while you think otherwise.

Yeah, so talk to them. If they are your friends, they'll understand.

Also: *hugs*

[SilentNight]

I know I'm a little late on the draw here but I thought I'd throw in my two cp. Let them know it bothers you, it should work. If it doesn't, hang out with some other people for a while and maybe things will calm down. *trans-pacific hug*.

[Griever]

Lotsa good advice (especially from Trog), but I want to give my take on it.

In general from what I saw during high school (I was both fortunate and very unfortunate to be left alone due to extreme timidness for at least Freshman-Junior years) people only bully others for their reaction. If you clench onto your binder harder, they'll become motivated to grab harder, in simplistic terms.

When my circle finally started to grow Sophomore year, I found there were a two different approached I could take when such things like this occurred:

My main one: shrug it off, just completely ignore the fact that they just ran off with my backpack while keeping a very small eye on them, so I knew where to find it if need be.

Secondary: Repayment, causing the same grief with those that caused me grief. A rather vicious cycle that there is no real cure for, unfortunate. I found that by participating, I was giving their bullying validity, which I did not want to do in any way.

And... well... I do not recommend violence, as in your situation, it would only exacerbate the problems.

Well, my two cents. *hugs from a complete stranger* I'll be over in Structured Games if you need more hugs. :smallsmile:

[Krade]

By the end of my Freshman year of high school (that's year 9 for those of you who call it that, or something), most of my social awkwardness(that spelling doesn't look right to me...) got washed away with the realisation that there was no one in my high school that any intelligent preson should be afraid of. I only ever got picked on my Freshman year and most of that was from my brother and his friends who never really took it so far as to be a problem. There were others, but they were stupid and easily avoided (and also grew out of it and some actually ended up being friends by graduation). That's high school: friends can become enemies and enemies can become friends. There's a lot of physical and mental change going on and it can be hard to tell where you'll stand by the end of it.

That said, *hugs* Feel better, it's only high school (guessing here, but I think it's right), very few things ever happen in high school that will matter any time you're not in high school (which is, thankfully, almost your entire life).

[Occasional Sage]

All my sympathy, and a big (long-range) hug. I won't offer advice, because... well, too many variables and missing details. I do hope it gets better though, and sooner would be much better than later.



GAH!!! Why can't I stand up for myself? It's like I don't care what they do to me, as long as they stay my friends.

Actually, it's not "like" that, so much as you've directly said it is that.



After all, I'm as shy as a deer. If they stopped being friends with me, I wouldn't be able to make new ones.


Well, I can see why you'd think that you're shy. I mean, look how much trouble you're having talking to us, and we're... oh, wait :smallwink:

Seriously, you don't seem to have a shyness problem, except maybe when face to face with people. Is that because you know that we-all are into the same stuff you are, or because you have more time to consider your words with us, or...? Understanding the difference might be the first step towards learning how to interact with live people more successfully.

So um, when I said I wasn't going to offer advice, apparently I lied. Sorry.

[Quincunx]

Read the thread, didn't see:

Take whatever of theirs they took from you. From there, it will be equally easy to smile and laugh it off when they exchange your stuff for their stuff, or to go all defensive and take their stuff hostage for keeps.

[Emperor Ing]

Step one: Find one of your 'friends' by him/herself and try talking about what happened. If he/she is your friend, they'll understand. After breaking through the insane awkwardness for talking to your 1st 'friend', step 2 will be easier

Step two: Repeat step one for all your friends. I recommend talking to each of them individually

Step three: ???

Step four: profit

Let me say this, If you can make it through step 1 + 2, you will become stronger for it. :smallwink:

[Zherog]

Hey, MC. I read this article on Philly.com just a little while ago (http://www.philly.com/dailynews/features/20080917_Dear_Abby__A_13-year-old_girl_wrestles_with_shyness.html), and thought of your situation. Maybe the advice in it helps you a bit, too. Aside from Abbey shilling her products, it seems to have some decent advice in it.

[Krade]

Hey, MC. I read this article on Philly.com just a little while ago (http://www.philly.com/dailynews/features/20080917_Dear_Abby__A_13-year-old_girl_wrestles_with_shyness.html), and thought of your situation. Maybe the advice in it helps you a bit, too. Aside from Abbey shilling her products, it seems to have some decent advice in it.

While this particular letter is alright, I've had issues with her responses to some letters in the past. I find that the advise she gives is often real hit-or-miss. One had her tell some people that they shouldn't let their daughter go over to her best friends house ever again becuase the kids were snooping around where they shouldn't have been and found the case to a porno DVD. They didn't watch it or anything. They weren't even old enough to understand exactly what it was they found. So yeah, I don't really like her all that much.

[Zherog]

Indeed. But I didn't say, "listen to everything Dear Abbey has to say, EVAR!" Instead, I said that I read this article and thought of MC's situation and thought the advice in this particular article would be of benefit to her.

[Mr. Moon]

We're not your friends? I thought we were friends. (http://www.whataboutmomblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/puss-in-boots.jpg)

It needed to be said. We'll support you, and provide pictures of crying cats to make you feel better.

Awwww... You guys are my friends too. Just... internet friends. It's different.




Well, I can see why you'd think that you're shy. I mean, look how much trouble you're having talking to us, and we're... oh, wait :smallwink:

Seriously, you don't seem to have a shyness problem, except maybe when face to face with people. Is that because you know that we-all are into the same stuff you are, or because you have more time to consider your words with us, or...? Understanding the difference might be the first step towards learning how to interact with live people more successfully.

This is different. Online, I can hide behind a screen and a username. You don't ask me to repeat myself seven times a day because you can't hear my lisp (which coupled with my bad habbit of talkingreallyfastlikethis doesn't help much). I can sit back and think about what to type, and if I mess up I can easily backspace the text, edit it or delete it all together. I can't do that IRL, where stopping to think about what I want to say simply causes akward silences where people think I'm ignoring them. Plus, you guys don't judge me. In real life, I can't shake the feeling of people everywhere constantly judging every thing I do.


Hey, MC. I read this article on Philly.com just a little while ago (http://www.philly.com/dailynews/features/20080917_Dear_Abby__A_13-year-old_girl_wrestles_with_shyness.html), and thought of your situation. Maybe the advice in it helps you a bit, too. Aside from Abbey shilling her products, it seems to have some decent advice in it.

Okay, anyone who writes a book tittled "You CAN be Popular!" and demands people read it raises red flags. I hate popular people. The adivice is okay, but a bit flawed. Thanks for thinking of me, though. :smallsmile:

[The Bushranger]

*hugs tight*
So sorry I didn't see this sooner, imouto. I really should check the FB board more often...

Anyway...I loves ya, little sis. *hugs* I don't have any advice to give that the others haven't said, just...be strong, and remember you're never alone.
*sends strength*

[Spiryt]

In real life, I can't shake the feeling of people everywhere constantly judging every thing I do.


Well, I can just say that I have this feeling too. Too often, also.

The feeling that somebody is expecting something from you, and it causes distress, even though more rational part of mind is yelling "Why should I even care?"

Dunno if that helps anyhow.

[memnarch]

Awwww... You guys are my friends too. Just... internet friends. It's different.
Quite true, for the reasons you gave.


This is different. Online, I can hide behind a screen and a username. You don't ask me to repeat myself seven times a day because you can't hear my lisp (which coupled with my bad habbit of talkingreallyfastlikethis doesn't help much). I can sit back and think about what to type, and if I mess up I can easily backspace the text, edit it or delete it all together. I can't do that IRL, where stopping to think about what I want to say simply causes akward silences where people think I'm ignoring them. Plus, you guys don't judge me. In real life, I can't shake the feeling of people everywhere constantly judging every thing I do.
People always judge other people; it's just if they let that influence their actions and opinions before trying to get to know that person that the trouble starts.
Of course, there are times where something like this could be helpful.
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/internet_argument.png

That being said, the majority of the people here are quite decent. Just a bit quiet (lurk mode) is all. And good luck to you in sorting your situation out.

[EndlessWrath]

I know they will. That's not really what I want.

Really, what I want is a hug and someone to pat me on the back and to tell me they love me.

I would tell you this.. but twould seem weird. Although I hope for the better for you. *hugs*.

I'm sure you get this a lot... But I am one of those people who will listen and talk to you about stuffs. So you're welcome to ask anytime.
--------

They aren't bullies. They can be the nicest people I know and I really like them. It's just... some times they take things to far.

I have quite a few friends like this as well. If they are how you describe them...then you should talk to them... speak to them and say "hey... I have a real problem with you guys picking on me...etc." Having no fear is not bravery. Standing up for yourself even though you're afraid to... that is raw courage. And I'm positive you can. If you're friends have a wis score of 3 or higher... should at least know when you're serious... Don't get pissed...and don't joke about it. Tell them you don't want that to happen...that they went too far.. and that you want your stuff back. If that doesn't work, I'd suggest moving onto the Playground where you have an abundance of friends.

Edit: oh.. and i agree... Popular people are obnoxious...

[Vespe Ratavo]

I know what you mean...my friends always used to steal my lunch box. Every. Single. Day.

Of course, they usually gave it back after I threatened to involve an accordion in their bloody demise...I'm not so good at giving advice, but if this sort of thing happens again, I'd recommend just saying, in a firm, not joking, not desperate tone, "all right, give it back." That also worked.

Or, you know, threaten to murder them with an accordion. This is actually pretty bad advice and I do not endorse it in any way, shape, or form. It would be pretty funny, though. Heh.

Anyway...
*hugs*

[Copacetic]

Wait, Moon Called's a girl?


Oh Right, Thread topic. Yeah, Hug and a pat on the back. Oh, and a RL example! Oh yays! There was a kid named Corby(I know, right?) in my school, and every freaking day someone stole his pencil case. I'm not kidding. So you know what he did? He stole there stuff while they were in the bathroom, ad pushed it under someone's elses desk or somesuch. They caught, and everyone's stuff started dissappearing while they looked the other way. Moral of the story, turn the focus off you. Make them pick on each other.

[Capt'n Ironbrow]

People try to be funny all the time, but, well, those who try have no idea about what's funny. sometimes, people can't see past their own fun to see the misery of those they victimise by "just having some fun".

I'm not going to say "talk to them about it" it's been said before.

I know it's difficult to walk away from those you consider your friends, despite their failures, but I realised it was because of fear of not finding new friends... and you need 'em in High School... I once had a friend who was a true hypocritical boop, played warhammer, was always nice and polite to parents and teacher, all nice on the way to and from school, but a big jerk to me and my brother during the day (not always though).
Friends, my boop. we told him he could go to school by himself after his last act of being a poohole.
actually, there are lots of people like that, who are very kind to you when no one else is around (to be nice to). As soon as there's a bit of an audience, they feel the need to perform malicious slapsticks and cruel pranks...

[Miraqariftsky]

REVENGE! I feel your pain, oathsister. My spirits shall accompany you as you seek restitution and retribution.

I went through many such experiences through much of my pre-college days. I tell ye true, oathsister, I did not survive until today by being a human doormat.

At first I tried talking them out of their wicked ways, preaching to them... mostly to little to no effect. Even when I complained to the teachers and ratted them out, it only resulted in "That's a part of growing up. Deal with it, kid" and even more bullying... only once did such measures actually work.

Eventually, I became fed up with the whole bloody mess and learned myself some martial arts, learned to defend myself and fought back. Having shown that I can fight back physically, they resorted to tauntings and mockings... to respond in like was against my Code, so I just ignored them and holed up in the library. When I couldn't stand anymore, a duel usually fixed things up.

On the non-violent side of things, I also asserted myself and showed them that I excel in other things as well, like academics, arts, etc. I exercised my non-violent charisma in leading group activities and offering tutorials in subjects I was good at.

You already have fear and shame, Ading. Now I tell you, be proud of yourself, even to the point of arrogance. Be confident, don't back down. Be dignified and courageous, show them that though they seem a mighty throng, you will stand up to them with head bloody but unbowed. Use your great talent and skill in drawing, show them you're better. Express and improve and de-stress yourself through immersion in your artistic endeavours. Laugh in their faces and mock their puny efforts to irk one as mighty as you, scoff at them to let fall the whirlwind of their ire for you are far above such childish and immature shenanigans.

Prosper, oathsister, with the heavens' breath on you.

[Zanthur]

I think that you should probably look towards finding new friends if they dont act nicer towards you. Also, if they havent given your stuff back (or if they ever do it again), what I would do is I would just ignore them. Sure, it sucks not having your stuff, but they'll soon notice that they arent getting a reaction out of you, and that is all they want. IIRC, you said this happened in the lunch room. They obviously wanted to see a reaction because they did it in public, made it known that it was them who hid the stuff, and they waited around to see your reaction. If they didnt want to see your reaction and just wanted to do it to bug you, they probably would have done it in the library or something while you were gone and then snuck away before you looked. So I would talk to them, let them know it pisses you off and if they refuse to change, there is no reason you should have to put up with them. Perhaps just hanging out with one or two of your friends, apart from the others, could be the solution. I know that when my friends are around other friends of theirs, they act real goofy and somewhat irritating sometimes. However, when I hang out with one or two at a time, its usually a lot calmer and stupid crap doent happen because someone is out of control.

[Mr. Moon]

Wait, Moon Called's a girl?

... Really?

@Nexy: Thank you so much. That made my day.

Anyway, I think everything should be sorted out. I sat down to talk to Purple and Piehunter yesterday, and after about half an hour of awkward silences, we managed to sort things out. After that, we had great fun planning to turn one of our acquaintances into a Pikachu over cheeseburgers, which means the circle of life has returned to it's natural order, only a bit better for me.

So, yeah. Thanks for the help guys. It would have been a lot harder without you people. *hugs*