How do you destroy a castle made of cake?

[Ditto]

For my friend's going-away-study-abroad party on Friday, we are making two castle-mold cakes. The plan is to have a pastry-related war waged with muffins... and sprinkles... and all manner of other highly ineffective weapons. I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions on how I might go about making a tiny confectionary seige engine. :smallsmile:

The mold is of a sort you might be familiar with - it's about 1 foot square (at most... more like 8 inches), hollow little courtyard area in the middle, with tower bits on each of the four corners.

I can't think of anything amusing to demolish it with, except perhaps catapulting muffins at them. Both items are spongy and resilient, so it's a tough call. I'm thinking making a rubber band ballista and shooting toothpicks at the cake might be fun, but I'm not sure whether it can be launched hard enough to embed in the wall. Hilarious destructive ideas are welcome and encouraged!

[Mr. Wimmer]

Replace the rubber band with a bouncy ball, and it becomes sufficiently destructive.

Silverware would also work, if you don't mind danger :smallbiggrin:

[reorith]

well if your castle is anything like my ex-gf, just tell it that you out grew her and her sister actually understands you.

[Enlong]

Eat it. :smallbiggrin:

OK, now that I got the obvious answer out of the way...

If you can get the cake wet, a sufficiently strong projectile should smash through the wall. Maybe load your catapults with containers full of milk(don't cry if it spills, you launched it) or ice cream (goes better with cake, would soak a lot) Then launch muffins at the soggy cake wall. You could also fire candles instead of toothpicks. They should stick better since they have more mass, and therefore, more firepower.

[Jack Squat]

working off of Enlong's suggestion of getting it wet.

http://images.sscentral.org/reviews/monster_xl_00.jpg

[ApeofLight]

I suggest day old cookie projectiles along with candles.

[loves_to_laugh]

Acid.

Or tell it that it's a lie and have it disappear

or get it wet like englong suggested. Once it is wet it will be less spongy therefore (in theory) easier to destroy with scones or muffins

[13_CBS]

I also support the "get it wet" solution. Either that, or launch a relatively dense mass at it.

OM NOM NOM works too.

[Unique]

With cleansing righteous fire of justice, of course!

Or.... let's see... You could launch frosting at it.
You could also get ahold of some manner of novelyt oversized toothpicks for teh lulz.

[reorith]

oversized toothpicks? bamboo skewers come to mind.

[Unique]

My sister has bamboo cooking tools. I get angry when people refer to them as being made of wood. They're not. Bamboo is grass.

[Enlong]

My sister has bamboo cooking tools. I get angry when people refer to them as being made of wood. They're not. Bamboo is grass.

DUDE. You learn something every day. That has got to be the most hardcore grass I've ever seen. (which is funny 'cause it doesn't have a core, hard or otherwise)

[Unique]

DUDE. You learn something every day. That has got to be the most hardcore grass I've ever seen. (which is funny 'cause it doesn't have a core, hard or otherwise)
I'm chockfull of useless trivia.

[BizzaroStormy]

Can you smoke bamboo?

Anyway, if you really want to go with the ballista idea, I reccomend sharpening some of those big, thick pretzel sticks and launching those. There's plenty of mass and you can eat them afterwards.

[Mr_Saturn]

A banana tree is a grass too. XD

I recommend wetting the castle with coffee or milk. =)

[reorith]

Can you smoke bamboo?

Anyway, if you really want to go with the ballista idea, I reccomend sharpening some of those big, thick pretzel sticks and launching those. There's plenty of mass and you can eat them afterwards.

yes. yes you can.

also, i can see someone becoming seriously injured by your sharpened pretzel sticks.

[Boo]

Throw icecream at eachother. It's expensive, but totally worth it.

You could also try using roman candles:smallbiggrin:, but... yeah.

[Don Julio Anejo]

Heh.. kids these days :confused:

Back in my day we just drank with good ole' Jack Daniels and Cap'n Morgan for a going away party.

[Amotis]

Okay, seriously, but where's booze? Doesn't really sound like a party if all you're going to do is play games and eat cake.

Rum cake?

Dude, with that in mind this could turn into like a more filling and war-like version of beer pong!

[Don Julio Anejo]

Rum cake?

Dude, with that in mind this could turn into like a more filling and war-like version of beer pong!
Now we're talking :biggrin:

[thubby]

sour balls+wrist rockets (just don't stand on the opposing side of the cake)

[Ditto]

Soggy is the obvious choice, yes... not sure if they'll want me slopping buckets of that around. Makes it difficult to use as 'boiling oil' to repel invaders, too, since it'll weaken your wall so much in splash damage.

I like making rubberband-litcandle ballistae. Very Robin Hood. :smallbiggrin:

If we use little people to attack, a fork would be great for seige-ladder-raising. Pretzel sticks are good for battering rams, except a cake doesn't have doors, per se. I'm sure the little pastry assaulters will figure it out. Now, to construct a rubberband candle cannon...

(Note: Several attempts later, I've discovered it's not as easy as you might think. More research required.)

[Vella_Malachite]

Gobstoppers would do some major bludgeoning damage, I would say. You could make a little trebuchet or something.

[Charity]

Employ gerbil sappers.

[Storm Bringer]

YES!

Undermining, people! that most classic of siege tactics, that devil's trick that has brought dowm many a proud wall!

if you need some boiling oil, may i recommend a fairly thick liquid, like melted chocolate or syrup. they don't permiate the cake that much, plus your castle is now covered in chocolate!

[Dallas-Dakota]

Tell them the cake is a LIE!:smalltongue:

Or NOM it.

[Pandaren]

Whatever you use, we need pictures.

[SilverSheriff]

I've gotta see this, I might do it myself. :biggrin:

[Ditto]

Speaking of cake, may I ask what prompted the sudden rash of Jibari-cupcake-ification of avatars all over the forum?

[valadil]

Fruit cake. I don't mean some fresh store bought fruit cake. I'm talking about the one that's sat in closets for the last 25 years only brought out to be regifted at christmas.

Suspend that with something gooey and stringy like a twizzler pull and peel. Pull back the fruit cake. Use as battering ram.

[Castaras]

Speaking of cake, may I ask what prompted the sudden rash of Jibari-cupcake-ification of avatars all over the forum?

Catmuffin week.

Link in signature, because I'm too lazy to find the thread.

[Ditto]

...I think I have to get one.

[evisiron]

I also support the "get it wet" solution. Either that, or launch a relatively dense mass at it.

OM NOM NOM works too.

Damn you Lolninja's!!

[Destro_Yersul]

Cocktail swords!

Spring loaded candy launchers! Boiling chocolate sauce! sharpened vegetables!

Idea fountain running low!:smallbiggrin:

[Adlan]

You live in America right? Shouldn't be too hard to get some black powder pistol's. Mount them on a few trunnion's, and have miniture cannon's.




Yeah, don't do that. Please don't do that.


Alchemical Fire (rum or Brandy), then a Suicide Hero to light it, and burn the castle down!


yeah, maybe not that idea either.

[Telonius]

Frosting "boiling oil" on the battlements.

[wadledo]

Dog+cake castle+peanut butter= ?????


:smallbiggrin:

[Logic]

Speaking of cake, may I ask what prompted the sudden rash of Jibari-cupcake-ification of avatars all over the forum?

Because Jibar is just plain AWESOME. So we gave him a whole week to bask in his glory, and imitate him. For imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.


Catmuffin week.

Link in signature, because I'm too lazy to find the thread.

Yeah, what the lady said...

[Eldan]

I suggest loading chocolate into small catapults. Pralines should work well, maybe truffe.

[Muz]

Try all sorts of ideas. Don't get discouraged if your first cake-siege idea doesn't work, and don't give up. Or to put it another way...


There's no use crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake.
:biggrin:

[Dr. Bath]

You want a trebuchet that fires peanut m&ms or perhaps a bigger projectile. Chocolates with a nut centre might be pretty good... or fairy cakes. Fairy cakes would have a bigger mass, and the paper cup thingy would give it that extra bit of strength so perhaps they would be the best option. Although muffins might be as good.

Failing a trebuchet, a rubber slingshot would work well.

[mangosta71]

This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GAUnuuBkW4) is all that need be said.