Randy Pausch

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

I wasn't sure where to put this. It could be a media discussion, as it involves the video The Last Lecture (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo), as well as the book by the same name. I could also head for the Depression Thread and unload a great deal of my reactions to both. I could start unloading on my blog. Finally, I could call attention to the whole thing by coming to the area of the forums I visit most and open up a discussion about the philosophy and wisdom of Dr. Randy Pausch.

Obviously, I chose the last one. (Well, DUH, Bor!)

I have watched the video a couple of times. (It's actually playing in another window as I type.) About 30 minutes prior to starting this post, I finished reading the book.

It's kind of odd how I ended up with the book. Last month, a late birthday gift came my way and practically saved my life. It was a gift card, and I had bought food that would survive the bus ride home. When I was done using the card at the time, around $10 was left on it. A few days ago, I went off to conduct some banking business, stopped at the place where the card was useful, and saw The Last Lecture, the book. I gave it no second thought; I was going to cough up the extra dollars to get it, hoping that it would either be a trascript or something extra. It's both. :smallsmile:

The book is small, it's short, but filled with a lot of...

Okay, this is why I brought this discussion (if it becomes one) to FB. I found myself inspired, angry, depressed, humored, validated...I mean, I've bounced between tears of depression/anger and smiling in the last few days while reading this book. I think the impact of the writing was increased by the fact that I knew what he sounded like, so I was "hearing" him while I read it.

Oh...And for those who don't know, Randy's "Last Lecture" was made 18 September 2007, and he died the morning of 25 July 2008.

Here's the thing. It's EASY to comment on content of both the video and the book. That's not really what I'm looking for. What I'm hoping for is a DISCUSSION about the things he's said. If you haven't read the book, that's okay. Most of what's in the book is in the video, (although the book covers other details, like how he met his wife, Jai).

My brain is a little fried because I haven't slept, so I'm going to stop here for the moment. But I will share something from the video that you can't hear, but was revealed in the book. Watch it - all 1:16:27 of it - and THEN peek under the spoiler.


In the video, Randy has a cake brought out and has the entire room sing "Happy Birthday" to his wife. When they were done singing, Jai got on stage, kissed her husband on the lips, added a peck on his cheek, and then, while hugging him, whispered in his ear, "Please don't die." :smallfrown:

[Syka]

I've seen most of it and all I have to say is that man is incredible. My mom and sister watched it on the day he died, I think actually. I found out while doing some research that same night on his blog. :smallfrown:

I'm going to go watch in again after I finish my chores. I know I'm going to be bawling, but that's OK.

By the way, *hugs* haven't seen you around in a while, Bor.

Cheers~

[dish]

I haven't read the book (though I trust Bor enough that I will check the English-language bookstore next time I'm in town). I can't watch the video. (My internet connection speed and youtube - they just don't interact with each other well. I did try. Got 16 seconds before it gave up.)

So, I shouldn't really be here, should I?

Just wanted to say that I do hope I like Randy Pausch and his last lecture.

I have issues with the "Follow your dreams" trope as it is frequently portrayed in the mass media. While I prefer the Paolo Coehllo version, which at least contains some degree of spirituality and self-actualization, to the simplified Disney version, I still have reservations. However, I gather that this is not a typical example.

Anyway, the reason I am here is I wanted to share this, another (nearly) last speech by David Foster Wallace (http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/sep/20/fiction). It resonated with me, and I thought Bor might like it too.

[Syka]

http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/Randy/pauschlastlecturetranscript.pdf

Here is a transcript of it. :) It's not just follow your dreams. It's more how to be happy, if I remember correctly.

Cheers~

[skywalker]

dish, I'm curious about this Paolo guy. Got anymore info?

I too read the book recently, altho I have not watched the video(the book made me cry quite often enough, thanks).

Bor, I'm sure you'll remember my recent post to the depression thread about how I couldn't decide what I wanted to major in. This was primarily because I didn't feel like any major really "aligned with my dreams." After reading Randy's book, I still didn't know of any majors that aligned with my dreams, but that was primarily because I found my dreams, and realized that none of them were really "major-based." Which is kind of a relief. Anyway, I find it strange that after months of agonizing over my future, reading the book put me in a place where I could immediately make contact with my dreams, say "This is what's important to me in my life," and focus on those things.

Is that discussive enough?

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

dish, I'm curious about this Paolo guy. Got anymore info?

I too read the book recently, altho I have not watched the video(the book made me cry quite often enough, thanks).

Bor, I'm sure you'll remember my recent post to the depression thread about how I couldn't decide what I wanted to major in. This was primarily because I didn't feel like any major really "aligned with my dreams." After reading Randy's book, I still didn't know of any majors that aligned with my dreams, but that was primarily because I found my dreams, and realized that none of them were really "major-based." Which is kind of a relief. Anyway, I find it strange that after months of agonizing over my future, reading the book put me in a place where I could immediately make contact with my dreams, say "This is what's important to me in my life," and focus on those things.

Is that discussive enough?
Emphasis mine.

Right on target, buddy. It's something that I've been saying for years to several people on the DT, but never saying the direct words. We are bogged down by so much nonsense in our lives that we easily lose sight of what's important to us. It was one of the moments when I felt validated. I've been preaching this aspect to many people, but because of their various crises, my "focus on what's important" has been along the lines of "focus on something other than the problem until you find a way to resolve it." Yes, the problem is important, but making sure you're able to deal with it is more important. To charge in, with emotions running high, and "guns running hot," is not going to result in anything good.

Kind of annoyed me a bit, though. I call myself a writer and tell people that I love to communicate. Along comes a guy who works in the realm virtual reality, and says it better than me, and in fewer words. (That sassafrasin' show off! (Yes, I turned a tree into a swear word. Shoot me. :smallwink: ))

Oh...Dish? I don't see a link for it, exactly, but the ability to buy the book probably hiding somewhere on this site (http://www.thelastlecture.com/). It also offers the ability to watch it via other methods other than YouTube, even allowing you to buy a DVD of it. Since I'm only recommending and not selling, I believe I'm safe from "the wrath of mods." :smalltongue: Besides...When I bought the book, I imagined Randy likely had the proceeds going to several different places: 1. His wife. 2. His kids. 3. The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network and The Lustgarten Foundation. Having witnessed his charisma via the video, he might even have convinced the publisher to take the smallest percentage in profits, if not zero profits. In that way - doing what some might deem impossible - he acheived an childhood dream without fully realizing it...He became Captain Kirk. :smallwink:

Syka, my dear...my love...my...Wait. What? :smallconfused: :smallbiggrin:

I've seen you around. Heck, I keep shooing people out of "my" thread and into yours when they come to say they're depressed about a relationship. I keep telling them, "I'm single for a reason, kids." :smallredface:

You're a little off about what the lecture is about. It's not so much about how to be happy, but how to live your life. "If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you."

Oddly, I'm alone in my apartment, and yet I can hear the skeptics screaming that that's optomistic nonsense. Is it? I'm over here, being who I am...that nice guy who tells it like it is, as kindly as possible...who is honest to a fault (example: "Hi. I'm Rob. I'm disabled, living in poverty, hate people but care about them anyway, et al., ad nauseum")...a guy that basks in his flaws to show the world he's merely human...and...

Y'know, Randy speaks in the book about "The Lost Art of the Thank You Note." In a similar way, I've been saying for years that I don't like buying pre-fab event cards. Birthdays, anniversaries, and even thank you cards...I see printed cards as things designed for the masses. The underlying message, to me, is, "You are SO uncommon that I felt a card designed for hundreds of thousands of people would suffice." Then the person sending it signs his/her name. If you're special, they add, "Love, (sender's name)".

I prefer sending notes (when my printer is working), e-mails, or calling someone to let them know that I think they're special to me.

But even a verbal pat on the back has practically gone the way of the dodo. I absolutely stunned a manager at a supermarket when, after leaving a cashier, I asked for a manager. The woman approached and, looking fairly stressed, asked if she could help me. Mind you, I was standing at the end of the checkout line, very close to the cashier who'd taken all of $1.29 for a drink. I held up the drink and said, "Here's my massive purchase. It lets you know how long it took for me to make it. Yet in the short time it took to buy this, your cashier, here, was so friendly and upbeat that I found it infectious. It's important to a guy like me, and I wanted to let you know I find that kind of thing outstanding." The manager was so accustomed to complaints and disasters that she tripped a bit over, "Oh...Ummm...Wow. Thank you. Thank you very much!"

Keep in mind that I have many reasons to be bitter about a great many things. I won't say I'm sweet 100% of the time, but I'm certainly not walking around, spewing bottled rage on the masses.

"The karma will take care of itself."

I firmly believe that, because of the way I live my life, I was rewarded with this (http://sometimeswrite.blogspot.com/2008/06/pocket-full-of-miracles-part-1.html) and this (http://sometimeswrite.blogspot.com/2008/06/pocket-full-of-miracles-part-2.html). (It's the tale of my rush to TN to visit my brother when he was dying...and then rudely lived. :smalltongue: ) It was the feedback loop Randy suggested you find and listen to. Mine said, "We love and care about you so much, we're going to get you where you feel you need to be."

Pure, undiluted awesome, folks. Thank you. :smallsmile:

[potatocubed]

Oddly, I'm alone in my apartment, and yet I can hear the skeptics screaming that that's optomistic nonsense.

Uh yeah, that was me. Sorry. :smallredface: I think it's just the mood I've been in all week.

It's just that I think the lecture is incomplete as life guidance. On the one hand, I think people need to be encouraged to challenge the obstacles between them and their goals - fatalism is a terrible thing. Sometimes, though, you'll run into problems - 'brick walls' - that you just can't overcome, no matter how badly you want to or how much effort you put in. I'd have been interested to know what his advice was for moments like that.

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

Uh yeah, that was me. Sorry. :smallredface: I think it's just the mood I've been in all week.

It's just that I think the lecture is incomplete as life guidance. On the one hand, I think people need to be encouraged to challenge the obstacles between them and their goals - fatalism is a terrible thing. Sometimes, though, you'll run into problems - 'brick walls' - that you just can't overcome, no matter how badly you want to or how much effort you put in. I'd have been interested to know what his advice was for moments like that.
I believe he demonstrated the answer without having spoken of it directly. The brick wall was cancer. On the other side of the wall was a long life. "It is what it is. There's nothing we can do about it. We can't change the cards we're dealt, just the way we play the hand."

I have all but beaten my head against the existential brick walls until I realized there's nothing I can do on my side of them. The result is that you can't get over some walls.

What's important is that you make the effort and, once you realize you can't get get around, over, or through the wall, you walk away with the knowledge that you gave it your best shot. Once you've reached that point, you can take one of two stances. 1. "I hate that 'wall.' I hate everything about it, and everyone associated with it. I will be angry forever because I am now a failure." 2. "That's the toughest 'wall' I've ever encountered, and until I catch a lucky break getting past it, I can be proud that I made the best effort I could muster."

I didn't give up on employment until my resume looked like a battlefield, and I realized there was no way I could hold down a job. When my only other option was a government check, the first wall was a denial by the process. In fact, that wall kept being thrown at me. I persisted because failure was no longer an option. Eventually, I stood before a judge in a courtroom to explain that I want to work. I have done all I could to keep working. But the time had come to recognize the fact that keeping a job had become impossible for me, and that I was now opting for the only way to continue some kind of existence.

Randy couldn't get around the biggest wall, and so he made his best effort, and making the best of what was left of his life along the way. :smallsmile:

[skywalker]

Uh yeah, that was me. Sorry. :smallredface: I think it's just the mood I've been in all week.

It's just that I think the lecture is incomplete as life guidance. On the one hand, I think people need to be encouraged to challenge the obstacles between them and their goals - fatalism is a terrible thing. Sometimes, though, you'll run into problems - 'brick walls' - that you just can't overcome, no matter how badly you want to or how much effort you put in. I'd have been interested to know what his advice was for moments like that.

The message I got out of the book was: "If you really, really want it, if your dream is over that wall, then get over the wall or die trying." Actually, the part about walls was the part I had the most trouble reading, because I have a background that says "recognize the wall, realize you're not getting thru that way, and go find a door somewhere else."

I'm not sure which I agree more with, honestly. While it can certainly be easier to just leave the wall and go find a door, I think when it comes to dreams, etc, there's something to be said for getting over the wall or dying in the attempt(almost always metaphorically speaking).

[Bor the Barbarian Monk]

"Luke...Luke! You must go to the Dagoba system. There you will learn from a Jedi Master, Bor." :smallconfused: :smalltongue:

It's important to remember that Randy said realizing your childhood dreams was also a way of living your life. Sometimes it's not a dream on the opposite side of the wall; sometimes it's something you NEED. If you can find a door in these existential walls, it seems silly to make an effort to dig your way through it.

It kind of reminds me of Superman II, when the three Kryponian villains arrive at the Daily Planet and make their way to Perry's office by smashing their way through everything in their path. Along comes Lex, who says, "When will these idiots learn to use a door."

Randy had the "advantage," if you could call it that, of a terminal illness adding perspective to his life. I hope none of us ever have to find ourselves in such a position. But as he started entering a stage of greater retrospect, there was a lot of recognition that life takes some rather simple guidelines. 1. Stop. 2. Look. 3. Listen. 4. Learn. 5. Rinse. 6. Repeat as needed.

*sigh*

Not sure if I'm making much sense at the moment. Lots of things going through my skull, including a dinner invitation I need to get going on. Thus, I will see you kids later. :smallsmile: