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View Full Version : In which the worst session comes back to haunt me. Sort of.



Return of Lanky
2008-10-12, 07:23 PM
First, it's well within your interest to read the Worst Session ever (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23784). It contains the story referenced here.

So... The Worst Session Ever came back to visit. See, a couple of the gamers we usually play with are heading out east for eight months, due to a temporary job placement. So me and my regular group invited a couple we met at a local Chapters to come form a new group.

The couple seemed like a decent enough group, so we invited them to dinner and gaming tonight. My two friends Steve and Tammy weren't going to their family's place for dinner until tomorrow night, and Diana was left all alone because her boytoy flew out to Vancouver for the weekend. The couple mentioned that they had nothing to do for the weekend as well while I was picking up the 4E PHB, so it seemed like a match made in Heaven.

Things went well, for the most part. I've got a standing rule now, whenever I bring a new person in, to run a quick, three to four hour one-shot session before integrating them into an existing campaign. So tonight we played a game of Final Stand to see how the pair meshed with my other three players and see if we could get along with them. Things appeared to be moving along quite nicely, we played a three-hour game, and ate dinner.

Then, as we were drinking our coffee, we got into a casual conversation about the Worst Gaming Experiences. Steve, Tammy, and Diana all know about PsychoGM (You may remember Steve as ShortBlaster), but the new guy seemed to be sure that he had a worse story, before he'd even heard mine. I simply raised my eyebrow and added a dollop of Bailey's to my coffee, certain I'd trump him. Little did I know how right I was.

So it seems that a year or two back, he got invited to another GM's game by a friend. He had a wonderful character cooked up with a unique curse, and as a courtesy he wound up hosting the game. Said GM then booted him mid-session and tried to continue play in the man's home, complete with an expectation that the promised dinner would still be delivered. The whole situation ended with the police dragging the GM kicking and screaming from the man's house and charges being pressed. The crazed GM even had the audacity to return and pelt a brick through my guest's window!

Of course, he finished, he had a great story to tell. He even had the character sheet framed at home. If we ever swung by, he was sure we'd be interested in seeing it.

Now of course, my friends and I recognized the story immediately, even if he switched some details. Ash's curse wasn't a ribbon, it was a knife to the heart, and he was a straight Fighter 5, not a Rogue 3/Cleric 2. I think he was also cooking a roast, not a lasagna.

When my turn finally came around, I just smiled and admitted that his story was probably the worst I'd heard of. About ten minutes later, when everyone was leaving, my buddy Steve decided to slyly call the guy on it.

"Hey Lanky," Steve asked with an evil grin, tapping Ash's framed character sheet in my front door hallway. "How long are you going to keep this thing around?"

The guy read the sheet and went quite pale. Despite his cheerful goodbye, I suspect I won't be seeing him again. It's kinda amazing, though. I did a google search on the Worst Gaming Session, and apparently my experience actually comes in at #2. I think it's awesome that events from my life are now being plagiarized by other people.

*facepalm*

Neon Knight
2008-10-12, 07:27 PM
Did the nurse say, "May he live in interesting times," when she handed you to your mother?

Cause you've got some messed up kind of juju, man. Karma has it out for you.

Return of Lanky
2008-10-12, 07:30 PM
I'm beginning to suspect that may be the case.

Though it was amusing as hell. About two minutes into the story, all four of us knew exactly where he was going and just who he was ripping off. About the only thing keeping us from laughing was the wide-eyed look his girlfriend had, apparently never having heard the story from him before.

I bet it was fun to explain. She saw the character sheet on my wall, too, and she seemed like a pretty sharp one.

ocato
2008-10-12, 07:39 PM
If it makes you feel better, he was probably just really trying to impress you. If I were you, I would try to get them to play again, maybe joke about it, but otherwise just make it a funny coincidence. I mean, if you can get him back.

However, it is pretty funny stuff that he found that and tried to pass it off as his own experience.

tyckspoon
2008-10-12, 07:45 PM
It's kinda amazing, though. I did a google search on the Worst Gaming Session, and apparently my experience actually comes in at #2. I think it's awesome that events from my life are now being plagiarized by other people.


I think it is pretty awesome. You've become the seed of a new urban legend/internet myth, like taking a two-dollar bill to Taco Bell.. maybe one day you'll even get your own Snopes entry. :smallbiggrin:

Stupendous_Man
2008-10-12, 07:48 PM
Hooray plagerism!

Dr Bwaa
2008-10-12, 07:50 PM
I'm so glad he even copied having the sheet framed at home. Props to Steve for his sneaky call-out :smallbiggrin:

Return of Lanky
2008-10-12, 07:55 PM
I think that's what gets me most about it, lordhenry. It'd be one thing if he was just spinning a yarn and putting his own spin on an amusing tale. It'd move to a kind of creepy Stan (from the Eminem music video) situation if he actually had a framed character sheet he'd written to conform to the story.

Dr Bwaa
2008-10-12, 08:12 PM
Yeah, I was wondering whether his girlfriend had been to his house, because if she had, wouldn't she have either asked about the framed character sheet (and therefore not been surprised about the story) or maybe called him on it when he told the story and she'd never seen said framed sheet?

I have to admit, I was quite afraid for you when I first read the title of this thread...

JeminiZero
2008-10-12, 08:18 PM
I think that's what gets me most about it, lordhenry. It'd be one thing if he was just spinning a yarn and putting his own spin on an amusing tale.

Except that, his own spin (the knife in the heart bit, and the fact his Char was a straight fighter) is likely a rip off from Hellboy 2: The Golden Army.

Matthew
2008-10-12, 08:18 PM
Very weird. The real question, though, is does he have access to your old account (and why are you using a new one)?

Return of Lanky
2008-10-12, 08:24 PM
Well, I just got off the phone with the guy's girlfriend. She'd just been dropped off at her own place. She wanted to know more about my character, since he apparently does have a character sheet framed in his apartment.

She called me because she wanted to know which one of us was ripping off which. Rather than slag the guy off to his significant other, I merely told her to Google the "Worst Gaming Session" and remember that my framed sheet did in fact detail a Rogue 3/Cleric 2 named Diego "Ash" Althaes.

Is it wrong that I'm chuckling?

Edit: Doubt he has it, Matthew. Even if he did, he doesn't have the Raws for all my old avatars like I do. I could prove I'm me to you all even if someone reactivates the lankybugger account.

Matthew
2008-10-12, 08:34 PM
So... he hasn't admitted to it, and he really does own a framed character sheet. That bodes ill. Is it possible that he hails from a parallel dimension?

Are you you? Am I me? :smallbiggrin:

I have long known that identity theft is one of the fastest growing crimes of modern times, little did I know that it extends to RPG anecdotes...

Calinero
2008-10-12, 08:36 PM
I think I'd be a little flattered that someone was using my story like that. I mean, it's gained a lot of infamy since it was posted. After all, there's no harm in other people using the story, is there?

TheCountAlucard
2008-10-12, 08:41 PM
Man, that story took a long time to set up properly, but man, is it worth it.

Take it in a positive light, Lanky. You should be flattered. :smallbiggrin:

tyckspoon
2008-10-12, 08:42 PM
So... he hasn't admitted to it, and he really does own a framed character sheet. That bodes ill. Is it possible that he hails from a parallel dimension?

Are you you? Am I me? :smallbiggrin:

I have long known that identity theft is one of the fastest growing crimes of modern times, little did I know that it extends to RPG anecdotes...

Or, if you really really like coincidence.. The DM Of The Worst Game Session Ever did it again to somebody else. Maybe there's actually a growing group of people who have been subjected to this particular sociopathic jerkass. They could form a support group.

Matthew
2008-10-12, 08:45 PM
Or, if you really really like coincidence.. The DM Of The Worst Game Session Ever did it again to somebody else. Maybe there's actually a growing group of people who have been subjected to this particular sociopathic jerkass. They could form a support group.

Actually, that fits in with a theory Charity and I were bandying about as to "jerk game masters". Since they cannot keep a group together (on account of being a jerk) they travel from town to town spreading their evil, appearing to be more numerous than they really are, and propagating the idea that players need to be protected from game masters... :smallbiggrin:

Return of Lanky
2008-10-12, 08:46 PM
I think I'd be a little flattered that someone was using my story like that. I mean, it's gained a lot of infamy since it was posted. After all, there's no harm in other people using the story, is there?

It's equal parts flattery and creepy, I think. It'd be kind of flattering in a weird sort of way if there wasn't a character sheet, but I get the impression this guy is sitting at home in a pink bunny rabbit costume reading RPG anecdotes to tell people he's experienced.

Besides, if I don't call people on this, I'm sure one day someone's going to ask me why I've got someone else's character framed on my wall. On that day I'm sure that the sky will crack open and bubbling pitch will drown the world in confusion and the purest essence of doubleyou-tee-eff.

Edit: And it couldn't be the same guy. Last I heard, he's still got three months to go before he gets out. Unless he skipped jail for a weekend to game with this guy.

The Glyphstone
2008-10-12, 08:54 PM
Edit: And it couldn't be the same guy. Last I heard, he's still got three months to go before he gets out. Unless he skipped jail for a weekend to game with this guy.


Wait, WHAT?

I missed this part of the story....last I had read, PsychoDM only had the restraining order against you after he threw the brick. What'd he do to actually get chucked in the slammer?

Khosan
2008-10-12, 08:55 PM
Wait, WHAT?

I missed this part of the story....last I had read, PsychoDM only had the restraining order against you after he threw the brick. What'd he do to actually get chucked in the slammer?

Was in the same part of the story. PsychoDM resisted arrest. A lot.

Calinero
2008-10-12, 08:59 PM
It's equal parts flattery and creepy, I think. It'd be kind of flattering in a weird sort of way if there wasn't a character sheet, but I get the impression this guy is sitting at home in a pink bunny rabbit costume reading RPG anecdotes to tell people he's experienced.


Pink bunny rabbit costume? That's...oddly specific.

Return of Lanky
2008-10-12, 09:07 PM
It goes back to the old Sartin/Maclennan F.A.T.A.L. review. (http://atrocities.primaryerror.net/fatal.html)

Here's the text:


Well, and when I couldn't help picturing him in a lavender bunny suit as he typed. (Okay, no, that's not originally what I was picturing him doing, but it's a sanity-preserving substitute.)

Darn, it's lavender, not pink.

toddex
2008-10-12, 09:16 PM
That has to be THE most bad ass ****ty game story ive ever read. Please tell me that psychoDM was obese, sweaty, and full of acne.

Return of Lanky
2008-10-12, 09:42 PM
He was kind of out of shape, but not really. Nor was he sweaty or oily-skinned.

Picture a slightly chubby guy with a big nose trying to rock Shaggy's look (like from Scooby Doo).

toddex
2008-10-12, 09:55 PM
He was kind of out of shape, but not really. Nor was he sweaty or oily-skinned.

Picture a slightly chubby guy with a big nose trying to rock Shaggy's look (like from Scooby Doo).

Thats even more amazing. Youve dashed my dreams and then built them all back up with something even mroe spectacular.

Calinero
2008-10-12, 10:06 PM
I shall never watch Scooby Doo the same way again.

*proceeds to rot out his brain reading about FATAL*

LongVin
2008-10-12, 10:07 PM
Well you are now the source of an gamers urban legend. Gamers for years to come will speak of the psycho DM, the flasks of potion and tales of arrests and framing of character sheets. Some will claim to be the player, others will say its there friend or a friend of a friend. Some may even claim to be the Pyscho DM and give their own spin to the tale.

And you shall be the reason for it all, and will fight to be recognized but no one will believe you as it grows beyond your control and becomes a gamer phenomana.

Calinero
2008-10-12, 10:18 PM
Start making the t-shirts now and sell them, while people still believe you! Hurry!

sonofzeal
2008-10-12, 10:27 PM
Who wants to take odds on this kid not coming back?

TheThan
2008-10-12, 10:27 PM
Imagine what would happen if this turned out to be totally unrelated to your story.

Return of Lanky
2008-10-12, 10:44 PM
TheThan: Given the amount of coincidence between his story and my experience, I doubt it very much. Especially given the way his face went pale when my buddy Steve pointed out the actual character sheet.

I can easily accept that someone could have a bad experience with a new GM.

Someone else having a bad experience with a GM in their own home, with an awesome character concept they loved due to a unique roleplay aspect, which ended in an arrest... Well, that one starts to get very coincidental, but could happen.

Someone else having a bad experience, with a character bearing a curse and name a lot like mine except in class choice, with a GM set off by an anime scribble at the top of the charsheet, which ended in an arrest after the guy refused to leave, where he gamed with the GM's group, who later had a brick being thrown through his window, which resulted in another arrest and a framed character sheet... that strains the limits of coincidence.

JeminiZero
2008-10-12, 11:04 PM
Especially given the way his face went pale when my buddy Steve pointed out the actual character sheet.


Maybe it was a trick of the light. Maybe your framed Char sheet gives off such an otherworldly glow that anyone who looks at it appears paler. :smallbiggrin:

Lycan 01
2008-10-12, 11:08 PM
That was friggin' awesome. We need to start a sticky thread of Epic Stories. We can nominate certain stories, have a voting thing, yadda yadda, and make a Sticky Thread consisting of the best stories ever told on this forum.

I nominate your story. :smallbiggrin:

skywalker
2008-10-12, 11:09 PM
Imagine if he's actually a forum member?

Imagine if he's lurking this thread right now?

Or if he joined to post to it?

How crazy would that be?

I can see it now "That lanky bugger is lying!"

Return of Lanky
2008-10-12, 11:18 PM
...you mean he could be watching me right now?

Far more likely, his girlfriend is reading this. I directed her to the original Worst Gaming Session thread when she called and she's probably worked her way through the thing by now.

Which means you think I'm a jerk, right Nadine? Go on and admit it.

TheThan
2008-10-12, 11:28 PM
Yeah, it’s pretty obvious he was stealing your story. But I would be even more interesting and out right bizarre if this same situation happened with someone else, complete with a different Dm.

Return of Lanky
2008-10-12, 11:35 PM
I think that would be the same as someone calling me on having someone else's character sheet, Than.

Sky cracks open, bubbling pitch, drowning in confusion WTF.

It would also be funny because it happened to someone else, not me.

huttj509
2008-10-13, 12:02 AM
You need to make T-Shirts that just say "I'm the real Lankybugger" so a bunch of folks can wear them.

I'm trying to figure out how to work in a reference to the situation (even just "worst session ever") that would fit on a shirt and work with the "I'm the real Lankybugger"...

I just want to see a bunch of those shirts being worn at the next GenCon or other gaming convention where the reference might not be such an inside one.

Adumbration
2008-10-13, 12:14 AM
You need to make T-Shirts that just say "I'm the real Lankybugger" so a bunch of folks can wear them.

I'm trying to figure out how to work in a reference to the situation (even just "worst session ever") that would fit on a shirt and work with the "I'm the real Lankybugger"...

I just want to see a bunch of those shirts being worn at the next GenCon or other gaming convention where the reference might not be such an inside one.

Draw the anime character below the words. :smalltongue:

Seriously, awesome stories.

BobVosh
2008-10-13, 12:33 AM
That was friggin' awesome. We need to start a sticky thread of Epic Stories. We can nominate certain stories, have a voting thing, yadda yadda, and make a Sticky Thread consisting of the best stories ever told on this forum.

I nominate your story. :smallbiggrin:

Seconded


Maybe it was a trick of the light. Maybe your framed Char sheet gives off such an otherworldly glow that anyone who looks at it appears paler. :smallbiggrin:

Awesome. Just awesome.

I've only had one session end in an arrest, and thankfully I wasn't in it. I however was running the game shop when it happened. Turns out the dbag was hanging out at the middle school across the street and someone called the cops on him. I'm sure ya'll can guess why he was hanging out there.

Cuddly
2008-10-13, 01:19 AM
He was a pedobear?

Tsotha-lanti
2008-10-13, 01:20 AM
Lanky, You Am Legend.


Are you you? Am I me? :smallbiggrin:

That's an easy one. Do you have facial hair (and maybe a great desire to repress societies and advance by backstabbing your superiors)? If so, then no, you are not you.


You need to make T-Shirts that just say "I'm the real Lankybugger" so a bunch of folks can wear them.

I'm unable to choose between the Spartacus joke and the Slim Shady joke.

BobVosh
2008-10-13, 02:22 AM
I'm unable to choose between the Spartacus joke and the Slim Shady joke.

Combine them. I dare you.

Oh, and I just thought of how this could be even more epically awesome.

Sometime you game with this guy who begins to tell a story of how his brother had to dm for a dbag who disagreed with almost everything he said and couldn't take a hint. The guy even called the cops on his bro when he was waiting for some food!

Return of Lanky
2008-10-13, 02:48 AM
That reminds me, I've still got to upload the drawing. I've got my scanner all figured out and everything. Would you guys really want to see what MangaGirl made of Diego Althaes?

BobVosh
2008-10-13, 02:51 AM
That reminds me, I've still got to upload the drawing. I've got my scanner all figured out and everything. Would you guys really want to see what MangaGirl made of Diego Althaes?

I believe I speak for us all when I say "Hells ya"

Return of Lanky
2008-10-13, 03:51 AM
Had to webcam it, since my scanner decided it hates my soul.

http://i451.photobucket.com/albums/qq238/LankyReturns/diego.jpg

Sad that that's what caused so much grief, ain't it?

Return of Lanky
2008-10-13, 11:17 AM
I was up pretty late last night... which is why I was sort of confused when I woke up this morning to a phone call. I shambled to my ringing phone, trying and failing to cram a yawn back down my throat. As I picked up the phone, I grunted out something that could have been a hello if I hadn't yawned again.

“So, feel like taking your girlfriend out for coffee this morning?”

Confusion reigns. My girlfriend, as far as I know, is at her family's farm in Quebec for Thanksgiving. The voice sounds vaguely familiar, so I ask Tammy what sort of prank she's trying to play this time.

“Right hair color, wrong person. We met yesterday, remember?”

Ah, Nadine. I point out that she clearly has the wrong number and forgot to take her meds when her keepers let her out of her cell, since her boyfriend was the bland fellow she left my place with last night. I wished her well on her electroshock and was about to hang up.

“Don't want to know why I called myself your girlfriend?”

She refused to say any more until I agreed to sit down and have some coffee with her. Since I didn't trust my non-caffienated mind to navigate the streets without killing someone, ten minutes later I'd managed to put on a t-shirt and she was at my door.

“Cute. Do you always wear a day's worth of stubble, bedhead, and pajama pants on a date?”

I pointed out that this wasn't a date, since I have a girlfriend besides her. Nadine just chuckles and leads me to her car. We get to a little Italian Espresso bar, so I buy two doppios and she explains her status as my girlfriend.

The other guy is someone that she'd been dating for a month. After she discovered that her ex-boyfriend was lying about the one story, she started googling stuff from other stories he's told her. Apparently most of the stuff he's told her about himself is a mix of my posts from these boards, a couple of other poster's experiences, and plotlines from Real Life Comics. After the fourth or fifth clear case of wholesale reality retconning, she gave up searching for more and left him a very irritated message at 3am.

She figures since he charmed her with my stories, I should reap the benefits. I'm pretty sure she's joking about it.

So... faced with this massive social drama I did the only sane, rational thing someone could do in my position: Nadine's now the fourth PC with Steve, Diana and Tammy in Wednesday night's game. I can handle a gaming group of four (even if it's a bit small), and she'll probably fit in pretty well.

Perhaps my own decisions keep leading me into these situations in the first place?

Smeggedoff
2008-10-13, 11:23 AM
Real life comics? that's dire
guy needs to get a life, his own preferably.
oh well, hope your new gaming group addition works out :smallsmile:

Doresain
2008-10-13, 11:46 AM
long post

wow...this guy based his gaming life around you...little creepy

Inhuman Bot
2008-10-13, 11:52 AM
wow...this guy based his gaming life around you...little creepy

I second that...

Return of Lanky
2008-10-13, 11:57 AM
I'm definitely getting that lavender bunny suit typist vibe from what Nadine's told me of him now...

sonofzeal
2008-10-13, 11:59 AM
Wow. That's... special.

Seriously dude, you should talk to someone about that. The guy may be doing something illegal and dangerous here... or may have a compulsive lying disorder (they do exist as legitimate disorders, AFAIK; it's not always the person trying to be a jerk). At the risk of turning the Worst Gaming Story Ever into an ongoing serial, I'd talk to one of {a} a lawyer, {b} a mental health professional, or {c} a police officer. I'd vote for B, personally, as they would be the most likely to know the correct response IMO. I'm not saying prosecute the dude, but this guy is clearly crossing lines and may legitimately need help... or may get himself into deeper trouble later if he doesn't here.

Stupendous_Man
2008-10-13, 11:59 AM
Well, on the plus side...

Kurald Galain
2008-10-13, 11:59 AM
Wow.

In unrelated news, two months from now, a random forumgoer will meet some New Guy at a roleplaying session, who will tell the amusing anecdote of how he once met this dude who was trying to impress him with a story about himself (dude), that turned out to be taken from a forum post written by this New Guy...

Don't you love meta?

Blackfang108
2008-10-13, 12:02 PM
I figure that it depends on how his first girlfriend reacts.

Probably not well...

Return of Lanky
2008-10-13, 12:06 PM
Yeah, so if my bloated corpse shows up in a Toronto sewer, it's probably about a 50/50 shot that this guy or my girlfriend did it. For the record.

I mean, Tammy alone is enough to cause some some consternation. If Nadine flirts with me even half as much, my girlfriend is going to freaking kill me.

And Kuruld... Please, for the love of God, don't! Tempting Fate like that is just begging for it. Do not tempt her, lest she strike me down!

Zeta Kai
2008-10-13, 12:12 PM
Lanky, you got some wild gaming mojo. Good luck with the new player. Just watch out; if she's still sweet on you, Tammy might not like it. Just be honest with everyone, & all will be well.

I'm imagining that in 3 months time, some lonely guy will still be pining for his lost girlfriend. In order to get her off of his mind & move on, he'll join a D&D group just getting together. The DM is starting a new campaign, as he just got out of jail...

Matthew
2008-10-13, 12:20 PM
Canada, 'tis a silly place...

kjones
2008-10-13, 12:27 PM
Canada, 'tis a silly place...

It's only a model.

Seriously, this (now ex-) boyfriend of Nadine's sounds legitimately nutso. It's a good thing that he (apparently) didn't know who you were in real life - otherwise, I'd be worried that he was stalking you. Keep an eye out for that one, Lanky.

BRC
2008-10-13, 12:29 PM
It's only a model.

Seriously, this (now ex-) boyfriend of Nadine's sounds legitimately nutso. It's a good thing that he (apparently) didn't know who you were in real life - otherwise, I'd be worried that he was stalking you. Keep an eye out for that one, Lanky.
Not so much Nutso, as a pathological liar. He may be a pretty cool guy to hang out with, but I wouldn't loan him a dollar or trust anything he said.

Tsotha-lanti
2008-10-13, 12:29 PM
Watch, in about a year or two, someone will be regaling you with this story.

AKA_Bait
2008-10-13, 12:30 PM
Wow... just... wow. I started following this thread last night, where I thought it was a somewhat amusing case of one person co-opting anothers tale of woe and telling the purloined story to the exactly wrong audience.

Now, I'm actually concerned for you Lanky. I'm torn as to how you handle the situation, but you are going to need to figure out some contingency plans if this guy comes calling. If he's been basically copying your gaming life, and that of a few others (who should probably be warned), that's beyond lifting a good tale or two and well into psychological issues of no small size. I'm not sure how someone like this would react to this kind of situation. They have been copying someone, meet them unawares, blow the interaction in the worst possible way, their girlfriend dumps them over it and then she starts hanging out with the person he was copying. I can't imagine the reaction being good.

Honestly, I'd like to say that maybe you should talk to this kid but I'm not a psychological professional and I'm not really sure if that would be wise or even safe. Sonofzeal is right, you need to talk to someone who knows more about these kinds of situations about how to handle it.

TheThan
2008-10-13, 12:31 PM
Lanky, you got some wild gaming mojo. Good luck with the new player. Just watch out; if she's still sweet on you, Tammy might not like it. Just be honest with everyone, & all will be well.

I'm imagining that in 3 months time, some lonely guy will still be pining for his lost girlfriend. In order to get her off of his mind & move on, he'll join a D&D group just getting together. The DM is starting a new campaign, as he just got out of jail...

I don’t know whether to be horrified or amused at this.

Anyway at least your new addition handled the weirdness fairly well.


Be warned… it could get weirder; she could be the very same girl that dumped PsycoDM at that anime convention.

Stupendous_Man
2008-10-13, 12:31 PM
It's only a model.


Shhhh!:smallmad:


Sonofzeal is right, you need to talk to someone who knows more about these kinds of situations about how to handle it.

A shotgun would, I imagine, be handy to have around in the kind of situations Lanky so often finds himself involved in.

Alas, for he is in Canada, where you can't quite get one so easily, and might have to settle for a bat of some sort.

Return of Lanky
2008-10-13, 12:37 PM
Lanky, you got some wild gaming mojo. Good luck with the new player. Just watch out; if she's still sweet on you, Tammy might not like it. Just be honest with everyone, & all will be well.

If anything, Tammy will be delighted. You know that girl you hang out with, the one who enjoys screwing with your girlfriend's mind by making lots of innuendo? Tammy is that girl in my life, made doubly "fun" by the fact she's known me long enough that the thought of ditching her for a girlfriend is absolutely unthinkable. If she's joined by another like her, I imagine I'm doomed.


I'm imagining that in 3 months time, some lonely guy will still be pining for his lost girlfriend. In order to get her off of his mind & move on, he'll join a D&D group just getting together. The DM is starting a new campaign, as he just got out of jail...

Please, just no... Don't tempt Fate. Please. Pretty, pretty please?

[
Be warned… it could get weirder; she could be the very same girl that dumped PsycoDM at that anime convention.

Stop tempting Fate!

Stupendous_Man
2008-10-13, 12:42 PM
The best baseball bats are well balanced wood ones.

The same may apply for cricket bats. (I wouldn't know.)

A 20 gauge shotgun has moderate recoil and packs a decent punch with some buckshot in it. Bird shot is another option as it will have less chance of over penetrating dry wall and causing collateral damage, but as a consequence, is less powerful.

Oh, and have a cellphone with the number for Canadian 911 on speed dial.

Keep some pepper spray on you.

Maintain situational awareness at all times.

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

Premier
2008-10-13, 12:46 PM
Has anyone considered the possibility that "Return of Lanky" is, in fact, not Lankybugger, but an identity thief? After all this, would make some sense... :P

Stupendous_Man
2008-10-13, 12:46 PM
Has anyone considered the possibility that "Return of Lanky" is, in fact, not Lankybugger, but an identity thief? After all this, would make some sense... :P

Devious. Cunning. I like it.

Blackfang108
2008-10-13, 12:47 PM
Lanky, don't worry about tempting Fate.

Fate doesn't exist.

Tempting Entropy is the problem.

And Entrpoy ALWAYS wins in the long run.

and, being Mortal, you are Doomed anyway.

Kurald Galain
2008-10-13, 12:48 PM
Has anyone considered the possibility that "Return of Lanky" is, in fact, not Lankybugger, but an identity thief? After all this, would make some sense... :P

Sorry, citizen. This thread is above your security clearance.

Stupendous_Man
2008-10-13, 12:51 PM
Sorry, citizen. This thread is above your security clearance.

Seconded. Please report to the termination booths immediately.

Guinea Anubis
2008-10-13, 01:02 PM
Wow, just wow Lanky.

How did you get a big old crazy bullseye on you? Also what other storys did he rip off? Inquiring minds want to know.

I can only guess that the next player you will get will be a big anime nut, and tell you about how he had to deal with some phyco guy that use to play D&D and his Girlfriend bumped the phyco at an anime con for him

Adumbration
2008-10-13, 01:12 PM
Lanky, watching you is a bit like reading Terry Pratchett. You should nick yourself Rincewind. :smallbiggrin:

Neko Toast
2008-10-13, 01:26 PM
After reading the original thread, you made me cling to my past DMs for dear life, Lanky. I've had some minor qualms with mine, but that's just manic.

And lawls on the stealing. I bet that guy felt pretty pathetic after he saw the character sheet.

KazilDarkeye
2008-10-13, 01:38 PM
There is still a remaining question from a few pages ago: why did you change name?

Also, if there is one guy doing this, who's to say there aren't more claiming stories about "CrazyDM" and Ash's curse of bleeding due to... I'dunno ... the magic socks or somesuch?

Matthew
2008-10-13, 01:43 PM
Has anyone considered the possibility that "Return of Lanky" is, in fact, not Lankybugger, but an identity thief? After all this, would make some sense... :P

I believe I raised the possibility on the first page, albeit in a round about way...

FoE
2008-10-13, 01:44 PM
Ha! That'll teach him not to pass off other people's stories as his own.

Doresain
2008-10-13, 01:51 PM
what if...the psychoDM is actually a t-1000 sent into the past to destroy you...and the "rabbit guy" ,as im going to refer to him as, was actually sent back to pretend to be you to save your life...

Oslecamo
2008-10-13, 01:54 PM
What disturbs me is that everybody keeps saying how bizzarre all this story is.

And still I'm not admired, because I've heard even more bizzarre stuff about gaming people in the net. Specially at the wotc forums.

The humanity, the humanity...

Well, it wouldn't be the first or last time that someone would lie to her girlfriend to try to impress her.

Meat Shield
2008-10-13, 02:03 PM
Specially at the wotc forums.

"Well, there's your problem!"
[/mythbusters]

'WotC forums' do not exist here, please redefine your parameters, citizen.

Stupendous_Man
2008-10-13, 02:05 PM
I'm sorry, "wotc forums" is not a valid phrase. Did you mean "Gleemin"?

sonofzeal
2008-10-13, 02:08 PM
And Entrpoy ALWAYS wins in the long run.

Also, Entropy always fights to the death. :xykon:


Lanky - let us know what you end up doing about this!

Diamondeye
2008-10-13, 02:30 PM
I really wish I'd gotten THAT call.

Keep any eye out, maybe you'll see cops claiming to have been the ones that arrested him too.

Calinero
2008-10-13, 02:30 PM
*eye twitches uncontrollably*

I'm sorry, I just finished reading about FATAL and need to talk about something else. Right. Now.

So, this guy managed to get a girlfriend using your stories from online? That's a little creepy...however, good to know that your stories apparently make you attractive to women everywhere. *nods*

Oslecamo
2008-10-13, 02:36 PM
Wow, what's with all the hate of the wotc forums? I'll admit it, it has greatly worsened in the last couple of years, specially when 4e was anounced, but before that, it was actually a great place where I learned plenty of gaming related stuff.

Khosan
2008-10-13, 02:43 PM
So, this guy managed to get a girlfriend using your stories from online? That's a little creepy...however, good to know that your stories apparently make you attractive to women everywhere. *nods*

Everyone knows the best way to pick up chicks is with D&D stories.

chiasaur11
2008-10-13, 03:19 PM
Also, Entropy always fights to the death. :xykon:


Lanky - let us know what you end up doing about this!

Hey, not always.

In addition to a classic Asimov story, entropy has been beaten by:
1st level wizards
DEATH
The TTGL
Chuck Norris, Bill Brasky, and all other similar memetic or simply major badasses
Reed Richards (Newtonian Matter Generator)
and so many more.

Calinero
2008-10-13, 03:36 PM
Those are mere setback to entropy. The fight presses on. Entropy will fight until either it or everything else is dead. And yes--entropy can die. In many strange aeons, perhaps.

Kurald Galain
2008-10-13, 05:10 PM
And still I'm not admired, because I've heard even more bizzarre stuff about gaming people in the net. Specially at the wotc forums.
I can has link plz?


Well, it wouldn't be the first or last time that someone would lie to her girlfriend to try to impress her.
Hardly. But it surprises me that you can actually pick up chicks with tales of a psycho DM :smalltongue:



In addition to a classic Asimov story, entropy has been beaten by:
You Forgot Poland O-Chul.

ufo
2008-10-13, 05:11 PM
*eye twitches uncontrollably*

I'm sorry, I just finished reading about FATAL and need to talk about something else. Right. Now.


Fist circumference.

Now pass me the acid, thank you.

Return of Lanky
2008-10-13, 06:36 PM
There is still a remaining question from a few pages ago: why did you change name?

Also, if there is one guy doing this, who's to say there aren't more claiming stories about "CrazyDM" and Ash's curse of bleeding due to... I'dunno ... the magic socks or somesuch?

I wound up creating a new account because I couldn't remember the password to my old account, nor do I use the email address associated with it any longer. The chances of me reviving the account without extensive Mod help were nil... so I just made a new account and pressed on.

If you need proof...

Thog too sexy for his thong.

http://i451.photobucket.com/albums/qq238/LankyReturns/ThogThong.jpg

That's the original raw, mind, so if you shrink it in Irfanview using the slowest filter, you'll get a pixel-perfect copy of the one in the first House of Horrors thread.

Speaking of this guy, however...

Nadine didn't go into the specifics about what he ripped off, but generally noted that the guy's funny stories were a couple of mine or various strips done by Greg Dean. A lot of his roleplaying stories were likewise ripped from the various Best Session Ever threads people have posted here. Essentially, he was not even really a roleplayer, but pretending to be a roleplayer.

Khosan
2008-10-13, 07:31 PM
Nadine didn't go into the specifics about what he ripped off, but generally noted that the guy's funny stories were a couple of mine or various strips done by Greg Dean. A lot of his roleplaying stories were likewise ripped from the various Best Session Ever threads people have posted here. Essentially, he was not even really a roleplayer, but pretending to be a roleplayer.

Doesn't that make him a roleplayer because he was playing a role he didn't normally fill?

Oracle_Hunter
2008-10-13, 07:36 PM
Speaking of this guy, however...

Nadine didn't go into the specifics about what he ripped off, but generally noted that the guy's funny stories were a couple of mine or various strips done by Greg Dean. A lot of his roleplaying stories were likewise ripped from the various Best Session Ever threads people have posted here. Essentially, he was not even really a roleplayer, but pretending to be a roleplayer.

That's a new one on me. Why would you be a poser RPer? Was it to pick up chicks? Wouldn't it have been easier to, well, actually play a RPG?

Seriously, what was this dude thinking? :smallconfused:

Neko Toast
2008-10-13, 07:38 PM
Doesn't that make him a roleplayer because he was playing a role he didn't normally fill? He was a roleplayer playing a roleplayer?
My head hurts. @.@

TheThan
2008-10-13, 08:07 PM
Wait, what sort of guy gets into RPGs to pick up chicks?

Khosan
2008-10-13, 08:12 PM
Wait, what sort of guy gets into RPGs to pick up chicks?

Fetish? Seems the most likely. Though I don't particularly understand what makes a gamer chick more preferable than any other to someone who isn't a gamer.

Meat Shield
2008-10-13, 08:19 PM
Wait, what sort of guy gets into RPGs to pick up chicks?

Wasn't there an xkcd about the dangers of recursing in RPGs?

Yahzi
2008-10-13, 08:39 PM
Lanky, you just won the interwebs!

:smallbiggrin:

Mushroom Ninja
2008-10-13, 08:43 PM
That is... HILARIOUS! :smallbiggrin:

xPANCAKEx
2008-10-13, 09:00 PM
this is probably the least profitable case of identity theft i've ever heard of

sonofzeal
2008-10-13, 09:12 PM
this is probably the least profitable case of identity theft i've ever heard of
I dunno, it did get him Nadine....

chiasaur11
2008-10-13, 10:02 PM
Those are mere setback to entropy. The fight presses on. Entropy will fight until either it or everything else is dead. And yes--entropy can die. In many strange aeons, perhaps.

Death beat entropy, then.
Admittedly, it was an endurance win.

And the paperclip helped.

Neko Toast
2008-10-13, 10:18 PM
... An idea popped into my head earlier. It seems silly/crazy, now that I think about it.

There's a con in Eau Claire, WI that I might be going to in the spring called "No Brand con". I'm going with the anime club at my university, but the con itself is just geekdom in general. I'm hoping that by then I'll have a job, so I can spend some money on a cosplay.

... What if I dressed up as Diego (only with a cricket bat instead of a bastard sword.)?

At the very least, I would get some odd looks. But hey, maybe some people will recognize it. I could put "I'm the real Lanky" on the cape or something.

I hope you don't find this insanely creepy, Lanky.

thegurullamen
2008-10-13, 11:00 PM
Fetish? Seems the most likely. Though I don't particularly understand what makes a gamer chick more preferable than any other to someone who isn't a gamer.

Time for some elitism. (cracks knuckles)

Gamers come from a subculture whose characteristics revolve around the "nerd" stereotype. Most of us know this means several good and several less than flattering things. Intelligence and creativity are at the top of the list, but so are social awkwardness, significantly smaller chances of romantic attachment and as Khosan pointed out, a certain appeal for the alternative sexuality crowd.*

There are several reasons someone would be attracted to this amalgam of quirks: attraction to creativity and intelligence, belief that they have a higher chance of scoring with a gamer than with a "more socially adept" individual, the belief that most gamers are available (and thus are suffering from a Walmart perception of people as commodities) and of course, skimpy outfits, odd behavior and the ease with which one can imagine an RPer RPing in a different context altogether bowchickawowwow.

There's my interpretation of what the RPing community has to offer an outsider. Some claims are harder to verify than others, but most seem like common-sense to me. For a more biased opinion, please un-invisotext the following: Gamer chicks are hot.

*Please note, I am talking about a stereotype here, not the reality of the gaming community.

Oracle_Hunter
2008-10-13, 11:21 PM
^ an apt summation.

What I can't understand is why the dude didn't just take up the hobby? I'm learning to dance so that I can pick up dancer chicks, and that's loads harder than buying some dice and joining some pick-up games.

Inflating his "gamer cred" by stealing stories off the Internet I can understand. But not actually gaming, aside from picking up chicks?
WTF? :smallconfused:

chiasaur11
2008-10-13, 11:45 PM
You know, in the inevitable film version, I totally see fake-lanky being played by Will Arnet.

It must happen.

Tsotha-lanti
2008-10-14, 12:05 AM
Everybody knows gamers do it on the table.

Wearing Spock ears.

Ohhhhh yeahhhhhh

BobVosh
2008-10-14, 01:24 AM
Everybody knows gamers do it on the table.

Wearing Spock ears.

Ohhhhh yeahhhhhh

You watched me?!
:smalleek:

potatocubed
2008-10-14, 01:28 AM
Everybody knows gamers do it on the table.

Specifically, the d100 table of sexual encounters.

only1doug
2008-10-14, 04:18 AM
Lanky, I'm worried for you;

the Identity Thief reads these boards, he now knows that you have stolen his girlfriend (well she dumped him because of you).

Please reduce the output strenght of your Weirdo Magnet, Eccentric is great but Psycho is dangerous.

TheFallenOne
2008-10-14, 06:22 AM
Lanky, I think you yourself are tempting fate. I mean, you tell us that simply by copying you a guy without a life of his own managed to score with Nadine, who
1) sounds kinda fun
2) may be rather hot
and he only failed because he just happened to meet you in a RL gaming session, a thing 99,9947% of the readers here won't do(although I'd love to and I guess everyone else here too; your sessions seem to have a memorablability guarantee). So now your presenting a hoard of gamers a seemlingly easy way to get laid and be admired for your gaming experiences.

Now tell me, who's tempting fate? :smallamused:

only1doug
2008-10-14, 06:56 AM
Hey, some of us can seduce gamer chicks without pretending to be Lanky...

I have to admit I admire Lanky's gamer stories but i prefer mine to contain Eccentric people, not dangerous ones.

turkishproverb
2008-10-14, 07:07 AM
Had to webcam it, since my scanner decided it hates my soul.

http://i451.photobucket.com/albums/qq238/LankyReturns/diego.jpg

Sad that that's what caused so much grief, ain't it?

Cute pic.

YOu know, at this point you could probably pay your entry into Gaming Cons by telling these stories at the event.

Diamondeye
2008-10-14, 09:31 AM
That's a new one on me. Why would you be a poser RPer? Was it to pick up chicks? Wouldn't it have been easier to, well, actually play a RPG?

Seriously, what was this dude thinking? :smallconfused:


I suspect you might be assuming too much..... :smallbiggrin::smallcool:

FMArthur
2008-10-14, 10:58 AM
I don't think this is another case of insanity, like the psycho-DM encounter. He's probably just a regular, run-of-the-mill liar. That was a stupid and inconsiderate thing to do, but it was exclusively for attention and self-promotion (as an interesting person) and not cruelty. It doesn't seem likely he's going to be carving Lanky's avatar into his skin any time soon, from what Lanky's said so far. On the other hand... if he is a similarly dangerous nutjob like PDM, then expect the villainous team-up to happen in 3 months.

His jokes probably all come from bash.org

Iruka
2008-10-14, 11:31 AM
what a pity you already have a girlfriend
this would make for a funny how-I-met-your-mother-story:smallbiggrin:

Fiery Diamond
2008-10-14, 11:39 AM
I read your initial post and couldn't stop laughing. Then I read how the fake had a fake character sheet and thought it was creepy. Then I read how his girlfriend dumped him and joked about being yours - and lets hope it's a joke, as I doubt your girlfriend would like it if Nadine flirted with you, as you've said; and I was extremely amused.

The T-shirt idea? I'd buy one.
The fake having a real disorder? I'm gonna bet on yes. He needs help.

You? Are freaking awesome.

-Fiery Diamond

Malfunctioned
2008-10-14, 05:49 PM
Lanky, I want to have your epicly awesome babies.......In a totally heterosexual manner of course :smalltongue:

ufo
2008-10-14, 06:13 PM
You are aware that you are publically ridiculing someone who knows who you are, knows where you live and reads the boards?

Just pointing out.

Nahal
2008-10-14, 06:39 PM
Specifically, the d100 table of sexual encounters.

You know, you could probably sell such a thing to non-gamers too. You sell a d100 paired with a hardcover illustrated "Play guide" and provide a link to a site where people can log in and discuss their experiences. Flame wars would erupt over whether encounter 37 is better than 42, and whole threads would be devoted to complaining about how 69 clearly doesn't do justice to such an important number.

You might have to steal a couple Cosmo writers to disguise the fact that we're a bunch of nerds staging a Malkavian-level prank, but if you did it right it would probably sell just well enough to give us all a good laugh. And our S.O.'s ideas.

Yeah, I'm going to stop now. But if anyone has access to said Cosmo writers I'd be down for making the world's best April Fool's Day joke ever :smallbiggrin:.

Stupendous_Man
2008-10-14, 06:45 PM
You are aware that you are publically ridiculing someone who knows who you are, knows where you live and reads the boards?

Just pointing out.

It's the next step up from stealing the guy's girlfriend.

xPANCAKEx
2008-10-14, 06:48 PM
You are aware that you are publically ridiculing someone who knows who you are, knows where you live and reads the boards?

Just pointing out.

well - Nadine knows where he lives so two can play that game. Maybe you should pay him a visit to reclaim 'your' PC sheet!

weenie
2008-10-14, 07:11 PM
You are aware that you are publically ridiculing someone who knows who you are, knows where you live and reads the boards?

Just pointing out.

Not really, since he never gave us any names or such. He's just telling an interesting series of events that happened to him, and that can't be really linked to anybody, so there's nothing public about it.

Also the other guy seems more like a boring person, who tried to charm a girl above his standards with stories he had stolen from multiple sources. Don't worry Lanky, I'm pretty sure this guy is as harmless as they get. And your gaming group just became much more intriguing all of a sudden! :smallsmile:

JMobius
2008-10-14, 07:16 PM
Not really, since he never gave us any names or such. He's just telling an interesting series of events that happened to him, and that can't be really linked to anybody, so there's nothing public about it.

Also the other guy seems more like a boring person, who tried to charm a girl above his standards with stories he had stolen from multiple sources. Don't worry Lanky, I'm pretty sure this guy is as harmless as they get. And your gaming group just became much more intriguing all of a sudden! :smallsmile:

That's not quite the point.

It is known that since this character has read many of Lanky's posts, he also quite likely reads these forums. He will recognize the story, with or without names. He would then know he has been ridiculed, which only adds insult to injury considering some of the other happenings that have transpired.

I think its hasty to ascribe mental ailments to this fellow, but supposing this is the case, and he feels slighted (which most anyone probably would), do you see how this could be potentially problematic?

weenie
2008-10-14, 07:52 PM
That's not quite the point.

It is known that since this character has read many of Lanky's posts, he also quite likely reads these forums. He will recognize the story, with or without names. He would then know he has been ridiculed, which only adds insult to injury considering some of the other happenings that have transpired.

I think its hasty to ascribe mental ailments to this fellow, but supposing this is the case, and he feels slighted (which most anyone probably would), do you see how this could be potentially problematic?

He'll recognize it, but aside from making him face how what he did was pathetic, telling this story around won't damage his reputation any further, so unless he was really pathologically insane, he has no reason to bother Lanky any further.

Basically I just wanted to reassure Lanky that he has nothing to worry about, since the post I initially quoted and some others suggested he may one day wake up with, you know, free swords in his spleen.

Waspinator
2008-10-14, 08:49 PM
Also, if he is reading, it's probably not helping his mood to have people questioning his sanity.

Collin152
2008-10-14, 09:34 PM
What's really wierd is that I know a couple by name of Steve and Tammy.

xPANCAKEx
2008-10-14, 09:42 PM
if hes reading this, i hope he outs himself.

and seeks councilling.

FMArthur
2008-10-14, 10:23 PM
Of course he's reading this. It's the latest chapter in his life story. I see no reason for him to stop pretending to be Lanky, including the copycat bit, except maybe out of some sense of decency or (more likely) shame.

Tycho
2008-10-15, 11:33 AM
Wow. Just wow.

I'd never even heard of these stories until I clicked this link, then ended up reading the history before moving on to this latest gem. I think until now my memory of someones "worst session" involved corrupt police terror squads or something like that. Been awhile since I read it.

Anyways, this is...impressive. Stay alert Lanky. Hopefully Nay is just being playful and takes the fact that you have a girlfriend seriously, but watch out in case Copy Pasta Man decides to give you an encore presentation of "brick through the window."

Burley
2008-10-15, 12:31 PM
Of course he's reading this. It's the latest chapter in his life story. I see no reason for him to stop pretending to be Lanky, including the copycat bit, except maybe out of some sense of decency or (more likely) shame.

Which means that the copycat may get angry at Lanky, go over to his own house, beat the whatsit outta himself, and steal his own character sheet, to take it home and frame on his wall, right where his old character sheet mysteriously vanished from.

The Real Lanky wouldn't even know what happened.

Name_Here
2008-10-15, 01:26 PM
That's a new one on me. Why would you be a poser RPer? Was it to pick up chicks? Wouldn't it have been easier to, well, actually play a RPG?

Seriously, what was this dude thinking? :smallconfused:

Eh probably got involved in RPGs later on in life and didn't like being the odd man out as everybody else around the table gave long amuzing stories about their past experiences.

Lord knows I felt out of place when I started playing with a group that had played everything and could pull out anecdotes about ever RPG made in the last 3 decades. Course don't know why you would pull a story off the internet to frame but I did spice my stories up a little.

valadil
2008-10-15, 02:08 PM
Lanky, you tell the best stories :)

Seriously though, I hope she was just joking about you being her new boyfriend. If the other dude thinks she ditched him to be with you (as opposed to ditched him over his lies which you inadvertantly brought to light) you may need to break out the cricket bat again.

Also, I'm really hoping this is the real Lanky posting. I think it is because of the writing style, but for all we know copycat guy somehow broke the old account, started this one, posted for a month or two to get our trust, and then told this story. Or something like that.

Calinero
2008-10-15, 04:11 PM
I'm sure it's the real Lanky. His writing style is the same, and that's kinda hard to fake. And I'm sure that there are a few people who know him both in rl and on the forums who would point it out if he was fake.

LotharBot
2008-10-15, 05:20 PM
I've met a few compulsive liars in my life, and every one of them has been either at a gaming session or has shown a direct interest in gaming. And the people I've felt were trying the hardest to impress me were also in a gaming context.

There was the guy who insisted he was one of the sword-wielding barbarians at the Excalibur Casino in Vegas, and also an EMT, and a bunch of other jobs, yet didn't have any skills remotely related to swords or medicine or any of those other jobs.

There was the guy who insisted he had a top secret clearance when he was on submarines in the navy, yet had no clear conception of how large a submarine actually is inside, nor any idea of what it takes to get a TS.

There was the guy who talked about being an air force pilot flying F16s, only it turned out he was like 17 and his piloting experience came from Civil Air Patrol in Cessna 152's.

It's like these people are desperate for acceptance, and just don't think they're cool enough to get it for who they really are, so they have to make stuff up. Or they just have to try really hard to catch our attention. And I wonder, have they bothered looking around the group they're trying to impress? Have they noticed how the doctor and the engineers accept the bus driver and the appliance repairman? What would compel someone to think, given how readily we accept people who don't have wild tales of fancy, that they need to make up (or steal) such tales to be accepted?

It's obviously a mental disorder of some sort. Though the guy in Lanky's story is especially creepy because he seems to have picked up on so many stories from the same source.

Return of Lanky
2008-10-15, 06:39 PM
... What if I dressed up as Diego (only with a cricket bat instead of a bastard sword.)?

At the very least, I would get some odd looks. But hey, maybe some people will recognize it. I could put "I'm the real Lanky" on the cape or something.

I hope you don't find this insanely creepy, Lanky.

Marry me?

No, it's not creepy at all. In fact, I think it's rather awesome. The only thing I would ask, is that you take pictures and keep count of how many people actually recognize the allusion. Until this guy told my own story at my own home, I wasn't aware of how far the story had gone, how many people had heard it.

Though, to set your minds at ease... I'm not worried about this guy, really.

You know the Vampire Earth series, written by E.E. Knight? You know how David Valentine is a kinda ordinary guy, but happens to have a LOT of things happen which are extraordinary good luck, bad luck, or just fate? How he's got a lot of badass moments, but is not actually a badass himself?

And you know how Ahn-Kha is a scary big Badass with a capital B who also happens to be just as smart and witty as Val?

Well, Steve is a 6'3" East Indian dude who bodybuilds as a hobby. He weighs close to two hundred and seventy pounds while maintaining a Body Fat of around 8%. His forearms are about as thick as my thighs and I cycle a good 15-20km a day. He also spent several years learning Wing Chun and has served four military tours as Recon.

If there's any reason my face hasn't been punched in, it's because Steve was there, laughing right along with me. And I love him for it.

So I'm Val, he's Ahn-Kha. If Derek swings by looking for a fight, well... Steve lives maybe a two minute walk away. I'll happily sit back and watch him get pasted.


Lanky, you tell the best stories :)

You know, I think half of my infamy is my writing. I mean, the events are kinda messed up but I make them laugh out loud funny. Which sort of makes me a dorkier version of Christopher Titus, I guess.

Random Note: Hey, guess what? Remember how earlier, I mentioned I was number 2 on the "Worst Gaming Session" list, as calculated by Google? Well, forget that noise. This thread is now the second result, the original thread is number one.

So I guess the Roleplaying Gamer Trifecta is now...

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f194/ThatLankyBugger/killergazebo.gifhttp://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f194/ThatLankyBugger/headovecna.gifhttp://i451.photobucket.com/albums/qq238/LankyReturns/lanky.png

I kid, I kid. It's gonna take a couple more years before I get that well known. :smalltongue:

Calinero
2008-10-15, 07:13 PM
All right....I know the gazebo...that middle pic is unfamiliar to me, though. Will someone put me out of my ignorance?

Douglas
2008-10-15, 07:19 PM
The Head of Vecna (http://www.blindpanic.com/humor/vecna.htm).

Calinero
2008-10-15, 07:39 PM
.....wow. That's really quite special. I believe there's an Evil Overlord item about not consuming any energy fields larger than your head. Well, I would like to propose a slightly altered rule.

I will never attempt to use an artifact that replaces or requires the removal of my head.

turkishproverb
2008-10-15, 08:28 PM
Ah, the classics.

Neko Toast
2008-10-15, 10:55 PM
Marry me?

No, it's not creepy at all. In fact, I think it's rather awesome. The only thing I would ask, is that you take pictures and keep count of how many people actually recognize the allusion. Until this guy told my own story at my own home, I wasn't aware of how far the story had gone, how many people had heard it.
Sweet. =D
Keep in mind, the con isn't until April. It'll be a while before you hear anything. I will definitely take pics of it, though.

Also keep in mind, I'm a girl. Diego will look feminine, no matter what I do. But the cricket bat (if I can find one. >.< I might have to use a small paddle to improvise) and the red ribbon would give it away the most, if anything does.

Lastly, I used your tutorial to make my avatar. :smallsmile:

Return of Lanky
2008-10-16, 12:18 AM
No worries about the time... and the avatar is very nice, miss Draco.

Though speaking of Diego... This thread got me into a wee bit of trouble this afternoon. I was hanging out with Liz (aka MangaGirl), telling the story. Some dude tells me he was me for a little while, I came here to share and laugh. Liz was laughing too.

Then I mentioned that I've uploaded the post-it portrait she did. She stops laughing.

"Lanky, that picture sucks! I'm drawing a new one of your character right now and you are going to post it!"

I'll have to wait until morning to actually scan it, since my girlfriend is sleeping right next to it. On the bright side, it's actually working now.

http://i451.photobucket.com/albums/qq238/LankyReturns/diegosneakpeak.jpg
This is a close up of Ash's torso and up, to show the attention to detail Liz paid to the whole drawing.

http://i451.photobucket.com/albums/qq238/LankyReturns/diegosneakpeak2.jpg

Stabby
2009-08-14, 09:14 AM
I realize this is thread Necromancy but somehow I ended up reading and got froggy on Cafepress/Photoshop and made up a shirt. Lets see how this works out.

The Real Lanky Bugger Shirt (http://www.cafepress.com/cp/customize/product.aspx?clear=true&number=%20402452495)

The Front of the shirt
http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff22/McStabers/Lanky%20T-shirt/RealLankyAv.jpg
The Back of the Shirt
http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff22/McStabers/Lanky%20T-shirt/Ash.jpg

JadedDM
2009-08-14, 03:02 PM
Aw, man. If I had known that telling stories about terrible DMs got you chicks, I'd have no time for D&D from all the girls I'd be getting!

The_If
2009-08-15, 02:58 AM
I'm just imagining The Impostor continueing to pretend to be Lanky, but he ends his latest story with "And as I led myself to the door, I pointed my character sheet out to myself. I was smiling like a smug bastard, and my cheeks got all red."

Mr.Moron
2009-08-15, 03:48 AM
if hes reading this, i hope he outs himself.

and seeks councilling.

He might commit attempt suicide. I mean he's not only out an SO, the only method he had of making himself interesting has now proven to be easily dismantled. If "Nadine" is telling the truth the only thing he had going for him in life is now gone. People have killed themselves over less.

Caewil
2009-08-15, 08:37 AM
He might commit attempt suicide. I mean he's not only out an SO, the only method he had of making himself interesting has now proven to be easily dismantled. If "Nadine" is telling the truth the only thing he had going for him in life is now gone. People have killed themselves over less.
Which is what I like to call natural selection in action.

KIDS
2009-08-15, 09:04 AM
Stabby, I like your effort, but doesn't the story (the moral of this thread) and everything about it belong to Lanky himself? It seems unfair to make things for sale that make use of his story/copyright. You could say that he doesn't have the right to retell the story at the expense of PsychoDM either, but that is an entirely different case :)

If you have some association with him or etc., then this doesn't apply of course.

Grey Knight
2009-08-21, 12:19 PM
Oh, wow, how did I miss this thread the first time around? The odds against this must have been staggering. I wonder if Slayer Draco ever got her costume together?