Favoite OotS Quotes.

[gamerboy6000]

My favorite is:
I'm a sexy shoeless god of war!-:belkar:

[drengnikrafe]

I think I'll go by character. Keep in mind, I'm probably paraphrasing most of them, so they're not "quotes" as much as they're close renditions. Apologies.
:roy: I dream of the day when I will learn to stop asking questions to which I will regret learning the answer...
:belkar: So? That means I can beat him with both scrolls at once!
:haley: can you be quiet here? I'm making a forgery check!
:elan: I promise I won't accidentally lead you into a dark alley ambush of people we met earlier that day in a bar...
:vaarsuvius: No, none of us were altering the unimutable laws of physics. That would be wrong.
:durkon: THE TREES BE ATTACKIN'! RUN FER YER LIVES!

[hermit666]

I GOT A 4


- 'Shhh! i missed my spot check'
- 'I don't see anything'
- 'Excatly'

[Niley]

There's a lot of them, here's some.

:belkar: So he's doing it because he doesn't really know me at all, then.
:roy: Pretty much.
:belkar: Cool with me. Let's go massacre something.

--------------

:redcloak: Just out of curiosity, is that in the same way a human fighter with a broken sword could never defeat us?
:xykon: Hey look, I've just regenerated a finger. Guess which one.

--------------

:xykon: I think I just had an evilgasm.

--------------

:xykon: Hey - wait a second! I know who you are now!
:roy: Yeah, damn straight you know who I am.
:xykon: You're that guy! The one who kept getting pissed off at me for not remembering... something...
:roy: GODDAMN IT!

[NicolayKhan]

:vaarsuvius: Thrice-cursed Spell Resistance! It's almost like the universe is trying to deliberately force some form of arbitrary equality between those of us who can reshape matter with our thoughts and those who cannot.

I registered here just to deliver this, (although I've been lurking for almost 3 years now).
Best. Line. Ever. (well, as far as webcomics' go :smallwink:)

[Jan Mattys]

In this strip (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0215.html)

:roy: So, I've met someone who is everything I thought I wanted, and I find that I really just want to kick her in the head

Priceless.

[someonenonotyou]

:elan: IM INVISABLE!!!
and
It not whether you win or lose as long as you look cool doing it.

[Taekwondodo]

:elan: Dun dun duuuuuunnnn!
of course!!:smallbiggrin:

[littlechicory]

No Kazumi smilies yet?

Kazumi Kato: I'm a goddamn life-taking, baby-making MACHINE! ... Why should I care how many people I have to kill? I can just make more IN MY TUMMY!

[Crowheart]

:durkon: Love is an epic level challenge.

By far my favorite line from the dwarf.

[Leigh]

:xykon: Badass. *Puts on crown* Really badass.

[Zerg Cookie]

:elan: No one ever won a war by dying for their country. They won by making the other guy die for his country.
:mitd: Wait, what gate?

[Zherog]

Things I've actually said:

"I think I failed a <insert skill> check." Common ones are Spot and Search, though when I fell off a ladder while cleaning the gutters (only two rungs, so no damage), the first thing I said to my wife was, "I think I failed a Climb check."

"I think I just an evilgasm."

"Sacrificing minions -- is there any problem it can't solve?"

"Mommy, what's happening?" (strip 40)

"Your approval fills me with shame."

"I'm participating!"

"I am somewhat preoccupied telling the Laws of Physics to shut up and sit down."

[Fraxinus]

Personally, I can't help but pick these:

:vaarsuvius: to the dragon : Vomit now, and aim for the halfling!

:vaarsuvius: after Qarr's incredibly successful summoning : And once again, Probability proves itself willing to sneak into a back alley and service Drama as would a copper-piece harlot.

Lord Shojo, mortally wounded by Miko : It appears... not everyone agrees with your... analysis.


Among the countless memorable quotes one could mention, I find the aforementioned particularly brilliant and tasty! :smallwink:

--------------

Post Scriptum: First post for me, so hello everyone! :smallsmile:

[Yoyoyo]

Hardly alone in this one:

Welcome to the village of Lickmyorangeballshalfling. No, seriously, give 'em a good once-over.

[Wikkin]

:roy: - I would say that was the dumbest thing I've heard all day, but as I have been talking to Elan all morning, it might not even crack the top 10.

[FlawedParadigm]

:haley: "True. But the three of us are so staggeringly and consistently irresponsible that it's utterly unreasonable to expect us to have been paying any attention in the first place."

:belkar: "Damn straight."

:roy: "That...is actually a very valid point. You're right. My bad."

[Setra]

No Kazumi smilies yet?

Kazumi Kato: I'm a goddamn life-taking, baby-making MACHINE! ... Why should I care how many people I have to kill? I can just make more IN MY TUMMY!

This is probably my favorite

[kc0bbq]

The more I think about it, the more I love:

:belkar: Rock on, self buddy.

[OITS]

Sit on me head, lad.

[goodyarn]

:thog: Thog too pretty for jail.

:haley: (shoots arrow)
:mad: Oh gods! She shot me! You crazy bitch, I can't believe you shot me.
:yuk: She absolutely did not shoot you and I completely expected it.
:roy: Well, huh. I guess the red one tells the truth.

[wotsnow]

:vaarsuvius: Have a cookie.

[Heroic]

:thog: Thog too pretty for jail.

:haley: (shoots arrow)
:mad: Oh gods! She shot me! You crazy bitch, I can't believe you shot me.
:yuk: She absolutely did not shoot you and I completely expected it.
:roy: Well, huh. I guess the red one tells the truth.

Priceless :smallbiggrin:

[Linkavitch]

Awesome. See quotes in sig. Also

:thog: Thog fear he will never know the majesty of the gumdrop mountains. . .
:mitd: Wait, what gate?

:miko: All right, we'll sleep on these pointy rocks, and we'll use lichen for pillows. ..
:roy: Or, we could go to that inn.
:miko: You want to give in to gluttony and slothfulness? (not sure on exact quote.)
:elan: One order of gluttony, and a side of sloth, please.

[Kurald Galain]

:vaarsuvius: Apparently.

[Beholder1995]

:xykon: "Hey, stupid hobgoblins! Your grand poobah needs a cleric!"

Always loved that one. :smallbiggrin:

[Evaine]

:vaarsuvius: Give in to your anger, young Greenhilt. Strike him down and take your place by my side!

:haley: Well anyway, V says Elan has been running around naked, so I'm off to see what his 18 Charisma is worth "under the hood".

:belkar: "Surrender." Ha! How do they come up with this stuff?

:miko: The proper term is "smite evil", not "bump uglies".

:roy: Does a paladin ever remove the stick from their ass?
:miko: No. It's a class feature.

:sabine: Every day I pray to my dark fiendish overlords that he doesn't learn that we're out of sprinkles.

:roach: Show me on the doll where she touched you.

And of course...

:elan: I'm participating!

[rayne_dragon]

From strip 473: "My parents were fishermen. When I was a little girl, I stood right here and learned how to clean the fish they had caught. I'm telling you this now so you know when I say that if you take one more step I will gut you like the Catch of The Day it is NOT hyperbole."

Those words have made her my favourite OotS character.

[EndlessWrath]

Three things you ought to have considered before fighting me.

:xykon: Factor 1: I can fly under my own power due to the Overland flight spell I cast this morning.

:xykon: Factor 2: A zombie Dragon without a bite attack isn't especially valueable.. and..

:xykon: Factor 3: Meteor Swarm

:roy: You Can't blow up Miko!
:vaarsuvius:I believe you mean I shouldn't blow up Miko. I'm sure If I put my mind to the task that I can do exactly that.

[Tre of the Wood]

:elan: "I'm on an adventure!"
:thog: "thog not in this book. thog sad."
:sabine: "Every night I pray to my evil overlords that he doesn't find out we're out of sprinkles."
:roy: "It would be a lot less ominous if he wasn't carrying a step-ladder."
:roach: "Help, I'm being oppressed!"
:xykon: "No, but it will have real kids."
:belkar: "Fortunently, its a multipurpose lead sheet. *TWANG!!!*"

[Counterpower]

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a311/estelindis/hinjo.gif "Nothing says 'Condolences on the death of your uncle' like a ninja death squad in the night."

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a311/estelindis/hinjo.gif "You're obviously not familiar with one of our key class abilities: Summon Conscience."

O-Chul: "If you must throw those men to their undoing, do so and be quick. The act is on your hands, not mine. Were I free, I would kill you now and rescue them, but there is no way my words can save them."

[Boaromir]

Everyone's gotta delurk at some point.


:thog:: Oh little ice cream friends! Thog delays boredom driven rampage only for you!

Illusionary :belkar:: Hey, that's a good point! Rock on, self buddy!


SoD/OoPC's Material:
Iron Mage Chairman: Allez shazam! Bang a gong, we are on!

Kraagor: Raging makes Kraagor a thirsty boy.

[oracul]

:elan: Hi Haley. Look, I found all these free swords. They were in my spleen.
(Comic 6)

:elan: ANY HOPE AT ALL?!?!?
(Strip 556)

:elan: "Groggy" is a fun word to say. Groggy, groggy, groggy, groggy, groggy, groggy, groggy, groggy, groggy, grog- *WHUMP!*
(224)

:vaarsuvius: See? I told you it would remain a mystery.
(#44)

Huecuva :xykon: Well you got your contract killing in my hatred of all that's good and pure!
Huecuva :xykon: Bring it on, Little Boy Blue!
(453)

(Most quotes in the Orc Island arc and a few Oracle quotes)

[subject42]

I think that my all time favorite has been this quote from Vaarsuvius. It seems to sum up quite a bit in a single sentence.

:vaarsuvius: Now if you don't mind, I am somewhat preoccupied telling the laws of physics to shut up and sit down.

[Greep]

heh I don't know the exact quote but...

:elan: Blah blah blah blah blah....
Goth :haley: You're the one who's dating a guy who says blah 400 times in a row just because it's never been done before

[Nibelung]

From SoD:


:xykon:You know what really gets under my skin? Proverbially, of course?
:xykon:A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me.
:xykon:Energy Drain!
:xykon:I know people think i'm stupid. Because i'm not a wizard. Because i get bored easy. Because i have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning.
:xykon:Energy Drain!
:xykon:But see, i've learned a lot over the years since i died. A lot more than i learned during my life.
:xykon:And now i see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter.
:xykon:Only two things matter: Force, in as great a concentration as you can manage, and style.
:xykon:And in a pinch, style can slide.
:xykon:Energy Drain!
:xykon:In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed.
:xykon:For example, all i need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of yous fancy spells at all.
:xykon:Energy Drain!
:xykon:Because yes, i am a sorcerer -- and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies". And i can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die.
:xykon:You can have your finely-crafted watch -- give me the sledgehammer to the face any day.
:xykon:ENERGY DRAIN!
*Dorukan die*
:xykon:Damn, that felt good.

Its a very long quote, but its THE best lines i ever read in oots.

[Quirinus_Obsidian]

From SoD:


:xykon:You know what really gets under my skin? Proverbially, of course?
:xykon:A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me.
:xykon:Energy Drain!
:xykon:I know people think i'm stupid. Because i'm not a wizard. Because i get bored easy. Because i have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning.
:xykon:Energy Drain!
:xykon:But see, i've learned a lot over the years since i died. A lot more than i learned during my life.
:xykon:And now i see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter.
:xykon:Only two things matter: Force, in as great a concentration as you can manage, and style.
:xykon:And in a pinch, style can slide.
:xykon:Energy Drain!
:xykon:In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed.
:xykon:For example, all i need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of yous fancy spells at all.
:xykon:Energy Drain!
:xykon:Because yes, i am a sorcerer -- and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies". And i can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die.
:xykon:You can have your finely-crafted watch -- give me the sledgehammer to the face any day.
:xykon:ENERGY DRAIN!
*Dorukan die*
:xykon:Damn, that felt good.

Its a very long quote, but its THE best lines i ever read in oots.

Yes, Xykon was phenomenal in the SoD book. I particularly enjoy the verbal beatdown he subjected RC to at the end.

[Lord_Ventnor]

Milk Dudes: Promise me... that you'll... *cough* ... you'll dispose of my body in the waste receptacles... conveniently located by the theater exits...

Soda: NOOOOOOOO!

------------------

:thog:: But Thog just finished step 3: Fill giant wooden alpaca with potato salad!

[texascarl]

:belkar: I have an idea. It begins with 'S ' and ends with, 'litting their throats'."

:elan: He's dead too, so you guys have that in common.

[[TS] Shadow]

:belkar: Sorry Roy, I just don't trust you enough to believe that you lied.

:mitd: It's fun, AND educational!

:elan: Bluff, bluff, bluff, bluff the stupid ogre!

:vaarsuvius: For the humble doily is indeed the gateway to ULTIMATE COSMIC POWER!!

[Yarly]

:belkar: That belkar. As stubborn as he is stone cold sexy

:thog: Not nale. not-nale. thog help nail not-nale. not nale. And thog knot not-nale while nale nail not-nale. nale not not-nale, now nail not-nale by leaving not-nale, not nale in jail.

:elan: Not-nale nailed Nale and nails! Boo ya!

[Eorran]

:nale: *sigh* Yes, the new plan will still involve rocket skates.
:thog: Yay!

Julio Scoundrel: Well as an older mentor figure, the most likely scenario is I'd return only to be randomly cut down by an enemy of yours, so you can swear revenge while cradling my dying body, so don't take it personally when I say I sincerely hope we never meet again.

Belkar's conscience: The angel... doesn't work here anymore.
"He's a halfling, he's supposed to be jolly... Why isn't he jolly? WHY ISN'T HE JOLLY?"

[save da chicken]

(218)
:haley: I wonder what the Craft Dc of a gag is?
:elan: Sorry Haley, I can't hear you I'm intentionally failing my Listen check
Old man blah blah blah

[Moak]

:elan: "At least I could give you a totally kickass headstone"

:roy: Anything I want,you say?
:sabine:Anything
***CRASH***
:roy: Hey,you were right. That DID feel better than before. Nice piercings,though.

(0550)
:mitd:F.Y.I.? They were not.

[Scarlet Knight]

:belkar:“Run, my pretty little chunks of XP!"

:sabine:“Oh, sorry, I kinda got distracted after you said the word ‘3 way’.”

:roy:“Glaive, Glaive, Glaive- Guisarme, Glaive”?

:elan:“Unless they kill us, then animate our corpses as zombies to fight for them. Then I suppose they’ve taken our lives and our freedom.”

[RMS Oceanic]

From Start of Darkness:
:xykon::Hey, you know what gets under my skin? Proverbially, of course? A century of Wizards looking down their damn noses at me - Energy Drain!

I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. Because I get bored easily. Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning - Energy Drain!

But see, I've learned a lot over the years since I died. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: Force in as great a concentration as you can manage, and style. And in a pinch, style can slide - Energy Drain!

In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For instance, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all - Energy Drain!

Because yes, I am a sorcerer - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies". And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die. You can have your finely-crafted watch - give me the sledgehammer to the face any day.

ENERGY DRAIN!

Damn, that felt good.

[Niley]

:mitd: Are you sure I can't just eat one of the short ones? I'm so hungry!
:xykon: Tell you what, we'll stop at the first village we see and get you a Kid's Meal.
:mitd: Ooooh! Will it have a toy surprise?
:xykon: No, but it will have real kids.
:roach: Tasty!

[Linkavitch]

:roy: You realize that even if you could sell me a weapon, now, I would probably kill you with it.
:shopkeeper: Yes, there is that irony.

[TerrickTerran]

:nale: You know, the first two I probably should have seen coming. The leprechaun costume? Not so much.

[snes1313]

:kazumi: I'm a goddamn baby-making, life-taking MACHINE! Why should I care how many people I have to kill? I can just make MORE in my TUMMY!

[Kal Ironfresh]

I'm surprised. No one yet has done

:vaarsuvius: "I should avoid casting any spells tonight, if only to give to give the laws of physics time to cry alone in a corner."

[G-Man Graves]

:nale: "Very well, but I'm reasonably certain I already killed you once today. I would hate for things to get repetitive."

[Phishfood]

Lets see...

:vaarsuvius: Evan's spiked tentacles of forced intrusion!

(from the moment I read that I loved oots)

:thog:awwww, but thog just completed step 3 - filling giant wooden alpaca with potato salad.

:haley:I said...SNEAK ATTACK! Bitch!

A 20lb tub of strawberry frosting is NOT a table scrap!

:elan:don't be a sword loser!
(I don't even know why, but I keep using it in conversation)

How did you plan to pay for the drink?
:elan: 30' per round movement rate.

[MesiDoomstalker]

:roy: Your approval fills me with shame.

(From the newest strip as of this posting
:elan: I can't tell if the cat is a good influence on Belkar, or if Belkar is a bad influence on the cat.
:haley: Both, I think, but it probably averages somewhere south of Neutral

:xykon: WHO JUST STOLE MY KILLS!?

:elan: I ROLLED A 9! BECAUSE THE BOOTS ADD A +5!

Bozzok: Damn it!! How do the good guys keep DOING that????
:belkar: Trade secret.

Cedrik: Call me old fashioned, but an evil ascension to power just isn't the same without someone chanting faux Latin in the background.

[Bleak Ink]

One of my favorite lines of all time comes from Start of Darkness:

:redcloak: "DIE, you public-service announcing bastard!"

[Messenger]

:xykon:: I used to think spells equaled power, too, back when I was alive. I've learned a lot since then. You know what does equal power? Power. Power equals power. Crazy, huh? (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0657.html) (Actually, I love the entire lecture Xykon gives.)

:durkon:: Dinnae discount the victories ye have jus' cause ye dinnae plan fer 'em. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0667.html)

:vaarsuvius:: Thank you. For what you tried to do back there. I have not always been the most considerate master. Or teammate. Or mate, for that matter. I appreciate the fact that, when the fate of the world potentially rested upon our actions, you were able to look past my previous mistreatment of you. As I have recently begun to learn, the fact that you did not succeed does not diminish the nobility of your effort. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0672.html)

[Phishfood]

Pickle Death Attack!

[Vargtass]

From Origin of PCs:

:roy: Did I stutter?

Best ever!

[kpenguin]

The Modguin: Please don't practice thread necromancy and posts in threads that are over six weeks, much less a couple years, old. Locked.