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Nad
2008-10-17, 08:21 AM
Just wanted to share two great lines, I'll have to give a small bit of context so they make sense.

1. The party started off as teenage 0-level characters who lived in the same village together. In their first adventure they ended up fighing a single zombie and they attacked it with their weapons - a club, a pitchfork, a sling and lastly a shovel. The character with a shovel got a crit, rolled max damage and killed the zombie. Without missing a beat he said:

"Undead are weak against shovels. They've been dead once, and shovels bury them, that's why they're weak against them."

Bonus: He continued to use that shovel any time undead attacked

2. In my "wastelands" campaign the party found an ocean. They had never heard of an ocean, never seen sea shells or had any idea what a coastline ecology would be like. A few miles away they found a goblin village, had a quick and dirty battle and found a shrine to Melora. The paladin put two and two together and said:

"Oh I see! The golblins worshipped this god by going to the desert of water (ocean) and carving all those stones in the same shape. They're must be thousands of goblins all who can carve holy symbols all over this place!"

Rad
2008-10-17, 11:43 AM
Wow... congratulations! You really have some good players!

Prometheus
2008-10-17, 02:20 PM
This one requires a little bit of backstory. So there is this politically powerful Efreeti named Vorjitsu. Apparently he was responsible for abusing his power and wrecking havoc on an interplanar scale. Vorjitsu himself had no motive to wreck this kind of havoc, but the Fire Giants did. The Fire Giants had been the ones who gave Vorjitsu a death-grip over his political office and Vorjitsu owed them many a debt and many a favor. When the PCs confront him, he blames the Fire Giant King, Balthor, and he explains that he is is debt to this guy and that he will undo the mistake if they simply kill Balthor. Vorjitsu tells them about Balthor's weakness and the PCs decide they might as well kill another bad guy while they have the opportunity and deal with Vorjitsu later. But Vorjitsu is making out like a bandit because he doesn't have to pay this guy back and still gets to keep his power and corruption. On the PCs way back they get hauled off to interplanar court for killing Balthor, and Vorjitsu arrives to bail them out - if they comply with his testimony that places the blame squarely on even more of Vorjitsu's political opponents. Reluctantly the players agree, and some not-good, not-bad guys get put in jail for life in the PC's place. Technically, Vorjitsu kept the bargain, but the players leave feeling used. The interplanar havok is undone but Vorjitsu lets them know that "He doesn't ever want to see them again." Vorjitsu is clearing Lawful Evil.

Fast forward much later and the PCs have a different quest upon which the world's fate may very much depend and the only person who has the information they need is Vorjitsu. The Paladin is furious with Vorjitsu still and refuses to work with him. The Rogue who has had his wrist slapped by the paladin for stealing more than a couple of times chimes in. "I don't know, I kind of identify with Vorjitsu. I'm not sure he is such a bad guy." That quote was epically hilarious if for no other reason than it pissed off the Paladin so bad. I hope the posters feel me on this one.

EvilElitest
2008-10-17, 07:47 PM
this thread is amusing, so i just want to bump it real quickly, i like the humor here
from
EE

Devils_Advocate
2008-10-17, 09:13 PM
Well, it (http://www.sigilprep.com/)'s not a game I'm in, but...


"Long ago, it was written that there would come a powerful warrior with no hair on his head, and he would be with a striking woman in golden armor, and that they would be accompanied by a lizard that walks like a man that we had known for a few years previously. And that this warrior would rid the world of the monstrous beast that eats our virgins twice a year since as far back as our stories remember. You must be he, for the last three didn't work out."


On the potential hazards of dating a shapeshifter:

"Uh... you're not... Amizath."

"Amizath?"

"My boyfriend. I was drunk, you were acting really familiar, we sometimes play these games...."

"Your... boyfriend?"