Trial of the Century [PLOT]

[happyturtle]

Plaintiff: Susan Elliot and other members of GLoG
Attorney for the Prosecution: The Onion

Defendant: Nomlas
Defence Dream Team: Lord Magtok and Vespe Ratavo

Judge and Jury: Nameless and other members of the Neutralist Organization

The defendant is accused of abducting Susan Elliot's adopted child Rose. Other charges, such as stealing the Spork of Power, may be added later.

Please note, that this thread does not attempt to correspond to any actual legal system in the history of anywhere. Expect Courtroom Antics (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CourtroomAntic) and other tropes.

[Almighty Salmon]

Nomlas is sitting at the defendant's table, worriedly tapping his fingers along it's wooden surface as he waits for the trial to begin. He's wearing his usual attire, it's not like him to dress up for any occasion, not even his own trial. Alright, Nomlas, you can do this. You've played enough Phoenix Wright games to know what sort of things are gonna happen.

[Kaelaroth]

Amelia appears in the public areas, having somehow heard about the trial. Her purple hair, which has grown a little, is covered by a fishnet Russian-style opera hat. She wears tights under a short black dress. Tears are already streaming down her elegantly made-up face. Oh, Nomlas! :smallfrown:

[Lex-Kat]

The Onion rolls in. He looks to be a perfect brown onion today. He rolls to his seat. A tall stool, with tri-pod legs & a small seat. The prosecution is present. he announces.

A briefcase appears before him on the table.

=============

The Little Girl appears next to Amelia. What did he do this time?

[Kaelaroth]

They say he tried to kidnap a little girl! She wails.

[Almighty Salmon]

Nomlas blankly looks over at The Onion as it rolls in, he seems pretty stunned. .. That's the prosecution? He chuckles to himself and brushes a hand back through his hair. Hah, alright. We won't be shedding any tears while we're choppin' you to pieces, Onion boy. Happy with that little remark, Nomlas leans back in his chair and tries to relax. Besides, how good could an onion be?

[Lex-Kat]

The Onion waits for a judge to appear. He turns towards Nomlas, and makes a movement that could be assumed to be a nod. Somehow, Nomlas might get the impression that The Onion is smirking at him. But how?

================

That's horrible. Why did he do that?

[Kaelaroth]

I don't know. You should go home, kiddie, this isn't a place for children. She wails.

[happyturtle]

Susan and Rose arrive in the courtroom. Susan is dressed in a conservative white Regency dress and hat. Rose is wearing a pink Winnie the Pooh sleeper.

Susan gives Nomlas a dirty look, and then sits down behind The Onion.

[Nameless]

Nameless apears sitting in the jury section.

[Kaelaroth]

Atomos appears near the judge's seat. "Who is to preside over precedings, and sentencing?"

[Lex-Kat]

I thought it would be Nameless. Says The Onion.

[Nameless]

Who am I?

If their arn't enough members of the jury, I can always call a few more Nameless'...

More Nameless' fade into all the other chairs.

[Atomsized]

Atomsized opens the main door and walks into the courtroom. Which his hat slightly tipped on his head, he walks his way over to the jury section of the courtroom and sits himself down.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok quickly browses through the Courtroom Antics tv tropes page, making a few small notes and writing down a couple of potential surprise witnesses and sneaky tricks he might want to use.

[happyturtle]

GLoG delivers a list of witnesses to The Onion:


Wenomir
Francis Quinne
Susan Elliot
George Shackleton
Rabbit Vasque (potentially hostile witness)
Darkcomet

[Darkcomet]

((*cough*))

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe appears, dressed in a fairly spiffy suit. Sorry I'm late. You know how San Dimas time (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SanDimasTime) is. Now, he says, setting a briefcase on the table thingy, the defense would like to say that the jury looks simply dashing today, and would like to make a motion to ask if that is a new robe.

[Atomsized]

Dashing? By far the best comment we've got today right Nameless? Atomsized whispers.

[Darkcomet]

DC decloaks in the witness area. Yes, he was there all along, why do you ask?

[Nameless]

Dashing? By far the best comment we've got today right Nameless? Atomsized whispers.

I think they're trying to "win us over" Atom.

[Atomsized]

But we're too neutral to do that!

[Lex-Kat]

The Onion eyes the jury, appraising the situation. Eleven Nameless's and an Atomsized. Hmmm.

And just where is the Judge? he thinks to himself.

[Darkcomet]

DC leaves in a puff of plot, and mindscrew.

[Nameless]

And just where is the Judge? he thinks to himself.

We haven't decided on that yet.

All the other Nameless' walk out the coart room.

[Kaelaroth]

"I... Could be the judge?" Atomos says, tentatively.

[Morty]

Dipsnig half walks, half runs into the courtroom, hoping he's not late. Instead of his normal grey tunic over leather armor, he's wearing a dark grey military uniform with insignia of a corporal. He's carrying a heavy briefcase. He sits next to other NOers.

[Kaelaroth]

Changing his mind, Atomos hurriedly says "Although Master Dipsnig would probably be a far more adequate holder of Justice."

[happyturtle]

Susan says, "I will accept either of you as judge in this case."

Rose gurgles.

[Morty]

Handler of Justice? You mean the judge? Well, if other members so decide I suppose I can handle this. But Nameless is the leader and he's already familiar with judgements as the Grim Reaper.

[Kaelaroth]

Atomos nods, and sits down in the jury box. "In the order of fairness and neutrality, I must insist that Nameless does not function as multiple parts of the jury."

[Morty]

Nameless' multiple selves share the same mind and personality, so I don't think that's a problem.

[Kaelaroth]

"No, that's why he shouldn't have multiple forms on the jury. They'll all be the same, they'll all vote the same way, and could damage the credibility of the result." Atomos says.

[Morty]

Well, I suppose that's true... so, we have four NOers in the courtroom so far, and Dallas might come as well. Which means we'll have a judge and three or four juries. It should be enough, I think.

[Kaelaroth]

"Yes. Three Jurors would be best, I think, but four would be fine too."

[Morty]

Yep. Now, the question is who's going to be the jury. I vote for Nameless if he's up to it.

[Kaelaroth]

"Nameless, Atomsized, and myself. You, the winner of the Best NOite award, should take centre stage as judge, Master Dipsnig."

[Atomsized]

Atomsized looks up from trying to solve a Rubiks Cube.

I second that!

[Morty]

I'm flattered. I accept, then. Dipsnig sits on judge's chair and is completely hidden behind judge's desk. I need a bigger chair, though.

[Darkcomet]

DC reappears in the witness area.

[Kaelaroth]

Atomos returns to the trial, having been out and bought Dipsnig a much bigger chair. "There you are, sir."

[Morty]

Thank you. Dipsnig's head is now visible above the desk. Now I belive we're ready for trial.

[Darkcomet]

DC thinks to himself.

Not like he's going to stay imprisoned for long. Intergang will just break him out again...

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok drums his fingers against his suitcase, getting a little bit impatient.

Could we move this along, please? Just get on with the opening statement already!

[Vespe Ratavo]

Yeah, the opening statement! ...Who does that again? Is it us?

[Lord Magtok]

They go first, saying some mean stuff about Nomlas, and then we go, defending Nomlas's possible innocence with words and rude gestures and confused poultry and stuff. And then we go into evidence-waving and stuff, I think.

Magtok opens his suitcase a little bit, making sure that his turkey is still as befuddled as when he bought it.

[Darkcomet]

A mental image of Nomlas kidnapping Rose (the baby) appears in Magtok and Vespe's heads. Unless not enough of Magtok's brain is organic, then it's just Vespe.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe screams out an objection. (http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=2802081)

[Darkcomet]

The words "not the prosecution, Vespe" appear in his head.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe screams out again. (http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=2802095)

[Darkcomet]

The words "The Onion is not a telepath!" appear in Vespe's head.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok drums the fingers of his right hand on the briefcase again, before turning his gaze to the judge.

Your honor, I insist upon some sort of psionic/magic-negating field to deal with the annoying voices messing with the defense. This is a honorable court of law, I presume, and as such, these underhanded tactics should not be tolerated until it's funny.

[Darkcomet]

These words appear in Magtok's head, interrupting him:

"Don't finish that sentence unless you want to be reliving being torn to pieces by Turtle over and over again. Because I can make you see that. And you'll feel every bit of it."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok finishes his sentence anyways. And then continues a little. He's had quite a few much worse things rolling in his head, with one in particular standing out in his mind for a brief flash, which causes him to shudder a little, a small enough shake that could easily go unnoticed.

On a side note, let the record show that the defense team has been doing a kick-arse job against some anonymous psychic and is totally awesome, before the case even begins.

[Kaelaroth]

Atomos, a smooth, crystalline humanoid, nods, and, since no-one else seems to be doing that, adds Magtok's note to the record.

[PirateMonk]

PirateMonk walks in and sits down. He is holding the Purple Flaming Shiny Thing.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Fullbladder appears randomly near the back, wearing a fine antique brownish suit and holding a Manadalorian helmet in his lap. He glares at bit at Piratemonk while still maintaining the air of an impatient bounty hunter.

He's waiting to see if the accused tries to flee, see. Like any good bounty hunter would.

[Lex-Kat]

The Onion will roll out to talk to the Jury.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury. The Prosecution will prove to you that the assailant, one Mr. Nomlas I-don't-even-know-if-he-has-a-last-name, entered GLoG under false pretenses, but intentionally held Baby Rose hostage, but placed her in imminant danger by holding her by one leg, upside down. We will show that his grip was so loose, that not one, but two other people were able to take Baby Rose easily from his hand.

You will hear testimony from many witnesses, most of whom are from GLoG, but from others who are not normally associated with GLoG. I intend to show you that Mr. Nomlas is a ruthless meanie who has no regards for anyone, save himself.

Thank you.

The Onion will roll back to his seat.

[Nameless]

This is goin rather well, we've been in here for under 5 minuets, and we've had two objections, and some cheating involved.

[Morty]

I'll be surprised if the courtroom isn't on fire before the trial ends. Alright, can we get this started? Also, I belive Mr. Magtok is right, so can any of you make this room magic- and psionic-proof? The last sentence is aimed at other NOers.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

At that point Fullbladder raises his hand, pointing vaguely upwards with his index finger.

"I could do that," he says rather quietly. He's evidently not used to something, be it the crowd or the courtroom. With his other hand he fishes a small device out of his pocket.

[Darkcomet]

I object!

yells the genderbent DC.

[Vossik]

At that Aughburgle the Third materializes in the court room confused and screaming in Nerglish

RwlRwlRwlRwl!!!

[Morty]

Dipsnig sighs. Why do you object, sir?
By the Dark One, three objections before the trial even started.

[Darkcomet]

I have a bad leg. You remember when we tried to capture Nomlas? It's been uncomfortable to walk on ever since, and I need to float to get around most of the time.

He points to the leg that was broken when Amelia superpunched him. Or her. Gah.

That, and a psychic deprived of their abilities is a blind psychic. You don't want the witness testimony skewered because you messed up the psychic, do you?

((For the first one, he, er, she's exaggerating a bit.))

[Morty]

Alright then, we won't put up any antimagic or antipsionic fields. We'll simply have anyone who tried to interrupt the trial abducted by our clockwork penguins.

[Darkcomet]

Would you object to some... Additional security? I can provide it...

[Shas aia Toriia]

Eh, I'm gonna' put up something to stop any present psychics from reading minds or influencing jurors or lawyers minds.

With this, Shas does just that. Also, s/he sits down in the benches to watch.

[Darkcomet]

Can we remove him? He's been trying to kill me constantly as of late.

She points at Shas.

[Morty]

Thank you, says Dipsnig to Shas.
And no, I wouldn't object to some additional security. But I'm afraid I can't remove him. Or her.

[Darkcomet]

DC pushes a button, and many of his her laser drones roll inside. They regard Shas with immense suspicion.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok smiles at DC, a fake sort of smile that says "I'd strangle you here and now if I could, psychic".

And in any case, you deserve it, DC. Now stop trying to screw up the trial, you heroes are supposed to be all about ethics and morality and such, and AMENites know the difference between messing with each other for fun, and dishonorable subordination.

[Almighty Salmon]

Nomlas yawns repeatedly during Darkcomet's sob story about his leg. Walk it off, Drama queen.

[happyturtle]

Susan looks around nervously, wondering when the defence will present their opening statement. And also wondering whether the courtroom is a safe place for her baby. :smalleek:

[Darkcomet]

Shut up, Nomlas. And I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about, Magtok. :smallconfused:

[Vossik]

Aughburgle the Third walks over to Susan and sits down a close as he can get to her. He smiles a murloc smile and waits for the trail to commence.

[happyturtle]

"Okay, it's clear we need a bailiff in the courtroom," Ian says. "Your Honour, if you need anyone in the courtroom Silenced or Held, please let me know."

((Ian = NOist Cleric of Neutrality. He chose not to sit on the jury because he hates GLoG and felt he couldn't be impartial.))

[Almighty Salmon]

Aww, you see. Nomlas looks up towards the judge and frowns. I'm being told to shuttup, at my own trial. This is the sort of abuse I have to take daily.

[Darkcomet]

Shut up, Nomlas.

[happyturtle]

Susan :smalleek:'s and moves far far away from Aughburgle the Third.

[Darkcomet]

The laser drones approach Aughburgle the Third.

They say this:

Stop disturbing the plaintiff immediately, or leave the courtroom.

[Vossik]

Aughburgle hops down and moves to the other side of the courtroom.

[Darkcomet]

Thank you for your compliance.

The drones roll around the room on patrol.

[Morty]

By all means Ian, I will. So, everyone seems to be here. In this case, I announce the trial as open. Let's start by hearing what is Nomlas accused of.

[happyturtle]

((Minor godmod))

The Onion repeats his opening statement:


The Onion will roll out to talk to the Jury.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury. The Prosecution will prove to you that the assailant, one Mr. Nomlas I-don't-even-know-if-he-has-a-last-name, entered GLoG under false pretenses, but intentionally held Baby Rose hostage, but placed her in imminant danger by holding her by one leg, upside down. We will show that his grip was so loose, that not one, but two other people were able to take Baby Rose easily from his hand.

You will hear testimony from many witnesses, most of whom are from GLoG, but from others who are not normally associated with GLoG. I intend to show you that Mr. Nomlas is a ruthless meanie who has no regards for anyone, save himself.

Thank you.

The Onion will roll back to his seat.

[Morty]

Alright. Does the accused or the defence have anything to say about those charges? If not, then we'll hear the witnesses' testimony.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok clears his throat, and begins his own opening statement.

Ladies and gentlemen of the court, I come to you here today to defend a man wrongly charged of holding a baby hostage and dangling it upside-down by its leg. Or at least, that was my original intent. I've since realized that this court is not, as I had assumed, an attempt to verify or confirm whether Nomlas is innocent, but a twisted kangaroo court with the intent of...No, it doesn't mean a court of kangaroos!

As I was saying, a twisted court existing for the sole intent of amusing sadistic people hiding behind a false veil of law and order. I've no doubt in my mind that you're all laughing at us three on the inside, that the jury is completely corrupt and biased, and that the judge has already decided upon what sentence to deliver unto Nomlas. I demand that Nomlas be examined by a jury of his peers, not his enemies. I demand that we look at the matter seriously, that the only jokes are to be on the side, like Vespe calling a lolcat to the stand or something, rather than the trial itself. And on top of that, with the gods as my witness, unless my demands are met-

Magtok draws a gun, and places it against Nomlas's head.

-I suggest we cut the crap and just kill him now.

[Darkcomet]

DC looks, shocked, at Magtok.

The drones, oddly, do not stop him.

[Fan]

Fanboy will speak up from the seats.
"then kill him. We will not have members on intergang placed in a position to save on of their allies. It would be folly, and a mockery of the very law we seek to uphold within this court."

[Morty]

Normally I'd have no problem with you killing Nomlas, but it's supposed to be a fair trial. Which means that if you don't put the gun away right now, you'll be abducted by security and Nomlas will be left without anyone to defend him.

[Almighty Salmon]

Hmm. Nomlas pouts slightly as Magtok places the gun against his head, continuing to sit still in his seat. Not exactly what I was expecting, Magtok.

[Vossik]

Aughburgle gleefully laughs and claps at these developments from behind Nomlas.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok coldly glares at the judge.

On the off-chance your equally corrupted security turrets actually get me, there's still Vespe to watch over him. Let's get some AMENites or K-Corp members on this jury, maybe a Fullbladder or PirateMonk. It's plain and clear to me that too much of the jury is going to be biased due to a past history with Nomlas.
Don't worry Nomlas, if I can't guilt them into a more favorable way of doing things, the Magmobile's parked outside and ready to go.

[Morty]

Dipsnig sighs. Mr. Magtok, the jury consists of members of Neutralist Organisation. Which means they're neutral and therefore unbiased. None of them had any dealings with Nomlas before and my conflict with Nomlas was purely mercenary, i.e I was paid to kill him, nothing personal. I see that you plan on getting some evil people into the jury who'll try to wriggle Nomals out of this, but that's not going to work.

[Vossik]

Ooo ooo ooo!

Aughburgle raises his hand at this offering to sit as an unbiased member of the jury.

[Fan]

"You do know that we elves pride ourselves on our senses correct? I will also have you know that everything your saying is being put on the record as is appropriate for a court setting. Also we cannot help it that only his allies have a favorable opinion of him. The man is a bloody pig with absolutely no manners."

[Almighty Salmon]

Aww shucks, Fanboy! You're a pig, aswell. Nomlas continues to sit with Magtok's gun rested against his head, quite enjoying the bickering amongst the courtroom. Neutral and unbiased? Hell, even the judge here has attacked me in the past. Unprovoked, I might add.

[Draken]

The clink of metalic greaves comes from the halls that link the courtroom to the offices.

Well. It has been quite some time. But it seens we have a trial after so long. I guess I will take my spot now.

Get off my damn chair you. Leave this to a real judge of the town.

Yes. Draken, in his blue-skinned, white-haired humanoid form, is ordering Dipsnig to leave the judge spot so he can take it.

Yes. He is, indeed, a judge of the Town.

And yes, he is totally umbiased. He hates you all.

[Morty]

The people who employed me said that the attack was justified. As a mercenary, I don't need anything more. Now, can we cease the childish attempts to disrupt the trial and get to work? He then turns to Draken.
I'm afraid that NO has been chosen to run this trial, and I've been chosen from among them as a judge. In other words, nope, I'll stay where I am.

[happyturtle]

Susan looks hopefully at the new judge, hoping that his blue skin will leave him favourably inclined towards her blue-skinned baby.

[Fan]

Aww shucks, Fanboy! You're a pig, aswell. Nomlas continues to sit with Magtok's gun rested against his head, quite enjoying the bickering amongst the courtroom. Neutral and unbiased? Hell, even the judge here has attacked me in the past. Unprovoked, I might add.

"It wasn't a compliment you twit! Also I may not be the most refined being in existance, but I'm a far sight better than the man I witnessed use a baby to play catch."

[Darkcomet]

DC looks at Draken.

DC :smalleek:.

That's a very odd Draken.

[Draken]

As a matter of fact, it is not Draken, his name is Thessian, he is a servant of Draken who used to use his name in the town.

And he is the councilor. Well, he was, his term ended like... An year ago. No idea why FS wanted him dead to take his spot.

Why of course. But it is most clear that the defense does not trust your ability to remain neutral in this discussion. Which warrants your substitution as a judge.

[Darkcomet]

I don't trust him.

[Morty]

Dipsnig rolls his eyes. It's absolutely clear to me that the defense will do anything to prevent a fair trial. Or any sort of trial for that matter. Also, I don't see any evidence you'll be a better judge than an NO member. Who are you, anyway?

[Draken]

Thessian, Son of Thessala, Servant of the Coldbringer, Judge of the Town, Former Councilor of the Town. And I assure you of my imparciality.

Because I despise all of you.

Yes. He did just speak in Draken's voice.

Ahck. Doing that does hurt my vocal cords.

[Darkcomet]

Upon hearing Draken's voice, the drones immediately point their lasers at Thessian.

[Vossik]

Aughburgle finally gets bored and sinks his teeth into the nearest drone best he can...

[Morty]

Well, it sounds very preety, but you'll have to provide me with a solid proof that you're not paid for by Magtok, Nomlas or someone else entirely to screw with the trial.

[Darkcomet]

Aughburgle finally gets bored and sinks his teeth into the nearest drone best he can...

Aughburgle is promptly fired upon by the non-bitten laser drones.

Eliminate threat. Eliminate threat.

They keep repeating that.

[happyturtle]

Ian yawns. "Your Honour, would you like me to Disintegrate the drones?"

[Draken]

What proof can you give anyone here that you are not sided with the accusation? As you said yourself. You are a mercenary. It doesn't take much more than a few pieces of coin to take you to a side.

You can ask me for all the proof you want. But unlike you. I have no history of taking sides in this discussion. As a matter of fact, none of you even know me. My stupid player kept me on ice for nearly eight months now.

Eight damn months!

See ya fourth wall.

[Darkcomet]

Ian yawns. "Your Honour, would you like me to Disintegrate the drones?"

I object! They were attacked first!

[Vossik]

Top hat and another spine on his back thoroughly destroyed Aughburgle points accusingly at Darkcoment.

[Morty]

I'm a member of Neutralist Organisation chosen by other members of this organisation to be the judge on grounds of getting the Best NOer award few days earlier. Isn't that the best proof of my neutrality? Now, I don't really want to be the judge, I just don't see how you're a better choice.
And no, Ian, the drones were attacked first. It's not their fault.

[Almighty Salmon]

Nomlas boredly fiddles with his hands while listening to Dipsnig. Listen, buddy. If we're going by that logic I should be the goodest person ever, considering I won 'Best HALOer'.

[Draken]

I don't see how you are a best choice either. Would Happy Turtle be the most suited to lead a crusade against evil if her comrades elected her the gooddest of GloG? I don't think so.

The fact remains that you young things are prone to bias. And you sir, you fough the defendant. He harmed you. You harmed him. I will be damned if anyone in this place holds any vain belief that you have not an ounce of ill will towards him.

Meanwhile, Thessian waves at Susan, and an hydra plushie falls from thin air into her table.

[Morty]

Dipsnig shurgs, ignoring Nomlas. Very well then. Let noone say Neutralist Organization is inflexible, if you refuse to belive that I can put away my personal antipathies. I'll refrain from my position as a judge and join the jury. Just remember, we still run this trial.

[Draken]

Your tone is strangely reminiscent of a threat.

Anyway. Thessian takes the seat.

Very well. This court is again in session. The prosecution has made it's opening statement, but I believe the defense did not. So please, I would ask the defense attorney to make it's case.

[Morty]

If you want to see it that way... I just reminded you that it was us who were chosen to run this trial.
Dipsnig sits next to other NOers in the jury.
((So much for the trial, I guess....))

[Atomsized]

Atomsized speaks.

May i offer a suggestion, that we have NO in control of those drones. As neutral people, it would be fair to have full custody of any type of weapons of destruction in the court so they be not misused in any manner by the defendant, plaintiff blah blah blah blah.

[happyturtle]

Susan picks up the hydra plushie and dances it in front of Rose while she waits to be called to testify.

[Darkcomet]

I object! These drones are MY creations and MY property and they will not be taken away by you!

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok turns his gun around so that it is pointed at himself as he takes it away from Nomlas and offers it to whoever'll confiscate it from him. As he does so, he smiles again at DarkComet.

Objecting is our job, DC. You should've signed up to be one of the plaintiffs is you really wanted to do so.

[Atomsized]

I said momentarily. The drones will only be under NO's control for the trial. Those drones may be used for assault, and it would be pretty sad if THAT happened wouldn't it, hmm? How can you prove to me that you will not use the drones to threat, maim, kill, or assault someone?

[Draken]

Objection accepted. Mr. Darkcomet. Remove your drones from this court now or you will be held in contempt of court.

[Vossik]

With a triumphant grunt, Aughburgle puffs out his chest and goes back to his seat, still wearing the remains of his top hat.

[Darkcomet]

Grr...

DC waves away the drones. Something doesn't seem quite right though.

[Atomsized]

Excellent. Continue with the trial.

[Draken]

Thessian sees the truth behind the veil of illusion.

Thanks for your complyance Mr. Darkcomet. Just be aware that if I see you and your agents making justice with your own hands in this court, I will be forced to take drastic measures.

Like eating your liver.

With fava beans.

And maybe a nice chianti.

[Darkcomet]

A vroom-vroom sound is heard from below. It gets farther and farther away and eventually vanishes.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Every time the word 'contempt' is mentioned, Fullbladder twitches a bit in a seat. Those who know him probably realize that he's practically killing himself trying not to shout "I have nothing but contempt for this court."

Nevertheless he manages to grin a sarcastic grin at DC as the drones depart. He isn't completely without self control, after all.

[Morty]

Dipsnig shakes his head. This trial is becoming more and more reminiscent of a comedy.
Also, Thessian might feel uncomfortable on the seat, as its former inhabitant was three feet tall.

[Darkcomet]

DC walks over to Fullbladder and whispers this in his ear:

Just feel lucky that they're not using the right pronoun.

Then she heads back.

[Atomsized]

Meh, it's alright Dipsnig. Just sit down and watch the trial.

[Lord Magtok]

Right, right, the real opening statements.

Magtok closes the suitcase.

Nomlas is a meaniehead, but I'm going to make sure that the evidence available isn't enough to proven without reasonable doubt that he committed the crime he's been accused of. Done. Vespe, your turn.

[Draken]

The chair is magically changed to fit the new owner.

Because he is a mage.

And truth be said, with the bunch of wackos here it was going to end in comedy sooner than later.

And Thessian thinks you mammals look all the same to him.

And now order in the court.

Hey, Fullbladder. Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt Contempt

[Morty]

Dipsnig shakes his head and watches the trial.
((Well, it's not like I didn't expect it to end up in comedy and I don't mind it, but IC Dipsnig's a bit annoyed. Also, deadtime.))

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe walks over to the jury. Pacing back and forth in front of them, he begins. A man has a choice. Or a woman, I suppose a woman has a choice, too. But the point is, people make choices. And those choices are not merely black and white, or good and evil. The world is made of shades, mostly shades of gray, and no one man (or woman) can say what is right and what is wrong.

He turns to the jury, and slams his fist on the jury bench thingy for emphasis. Tell me, friends, is a killing, a theft, a kidnapping, never justified? What of your friend Fanboy? He's killed hundreds, thousands, and yet I do not see him brought to trial. And what of Turtle, his bride? Their entire organization is responsible for hundreds of thousands of lives taken over the years, and yet you insist on trying my client for this? Have you no shame?

Even if my client was guilty, this whole trial is still a mockery of any semblance of law, or justice, or even decent goodness. I ask you, who's the real villain here?

And that's all I have to say about that.

Vespe returns to his seat.

[PirateMonk]

PM watches the trial, playing with his Purple Flaming Shiny Thing.

[Darkcomet]

Okay, does anyone else think that thing should be taken away before he burns the place down?

[Atomsized]

What is that thing anyways.....a Gameboy covered in glitter and flames?

[Draken]

Ms. Comet stop shouting out of your turn.

Mr. Monk. Stop playing with fire in my courtroom.

Very well. The prosecution may begin it's case.

Present proof, call witnesses, that sort of stuff.

(Gods I hate these pronoums, I never get these things right.)

[Darkcomet]

((DC isn't married.))

****, he noticed.

[PirateMonk]

PM ignores Thessian's order.

[Vossik]

The flame now brought to his interest, Aughburgle tries to snatch it.

[Draken]

Rocks fall. PM dies.

[Darkcomet]

fDC barely keeps herself from laughing.

[PirateMonk]

Another clone appears and digs through the rubble for the Purple Flaming Shiny Thing.

[Darkcomet]

DC raises her hand.

Your honor, can I call the drones back to keep him out?

[Draken]

PM is locked in a fireproof glass thingy.

Ok. Over with these shenanigans now. Where is Lex-kat?

[happyturtle]

((I PM'd Lex-kat, but I think she's doing the Heal/Hurt now, so hasn't seen it yet.))

[Darkcomet]

((I may be dead meat, but I took one with me!))

fDC is still barely resisting the urge to laugh at PM.

[PirateMonk]

PM ignores the glass container, except for magically making it more transparent. He continues playing with the Purple Flaming Shiny Thing.

[Lex-Kat]

The Onion rolls in quickly. Sorry your honor. I was delayed, healing and hurting people.

He rolls onto his seat. Now, let's see. Where are we. Oh, yes. My first witness is, Susan. The mother of the innocent kidnap victim.

[happyturtle]

Susan stands up, carrying Rose and the hydra plushie, and walks to the stand.

[Vespe Ratavo]

((Is this the part where we cross-examine the witness? :smallconfused:

Not so good with legal stuff.))

[happyturtle]

((The Onion gets to question her first, then the defence cross examines. For witnesses that you call, you get to go first, and The Onion gets the cross examination.))

As Bailiff, Ian has her sworn in.

[Lex-Kat]

The Onion waits for her to be seated. Then rolls forth. Thank you, Susan. Could you state your name in full, please?

After she does. Thank you. Now, where were you November 5th, 1605 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_fawkes)!? He shouts out.

[Darkcomet]

DC facepalms.

[happyturtle]

"Susan Elliott."

Looks confused at the second question. "Sir, I was born in 1778."

[Lex-Kat]

Oh, right. Okaaaaay then.

The Onion paces back and forth. You claim that someone came out of the GLoG bathroom, correct? Do you see this man in the court room?

[happyturtle]

"I didn't see him come out of the bathroom," Susan says. "But Nomlas, the defendant, came running into the greatroom."

((must deadtime. Lex, you can godmod Susan's testimony and cross examination if you like. Her version of events is here. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=5161922#post5161922)))

[Lex-Kat]

Mmm. Hmm. Okay, then Susan. What happened next?

Susan replys:
I was sitting in here doing needlepoint, with my baby Rose asleep nearby. Suddenly Nomlas burst in, threw a sleep grenade, and took Rose hostage.

((DEADTIME- need to finish work. :smallyuk:))

[Shas aia Toriia]

((Just a question. . .what is intergang?))

[Darkcomet]

((Plot stuff.))

[Nameless]

(( Why, why is it whenever I deadtime for the night, the most happens... darn time differences... :smallannoyed: ))

(( Undeadtimes ))

[happyturtle]

Susan undeadtimes, still in the witness box holding Rose.

Rose is babbling and waving at the jury, until she suddenly discovers something important.... toes! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcKKwcEO0kQ&NR=1)

((It should be noted for the information of those who do not frequent GLoG that Rose is a light blue skinned infant who is completely bald and possessed of near toxic levels of Teh Cute.))

[Lex-Kat]

Okay, Susan. One last question. Who was the person who you saw holding Baby Rose, before you were able to free her from his clutches?

((Please note: I'm at work, so posting frequency will fluctuate. :smallsmile:))

[happyturtle]

"I managed to grab Rose away from the defendant, Mr Nomlas, and then I ran, straight to the infirmary. I was afraid of what the sleeping gas had done, because she slept through the whole thing." Susan answers.

[Lex-Kat]

Thank you, Susan. I have no further questions for this witness. The Onion rolls back to his seat.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok then steps up to question the witness, gesturing for Vespe to do the same.

Alright...Susan, is it? Did you personally witness Nomlas take the child?

[happyturtle]

"No, Sir," Susan answers meekly.

[Lord Magtok]

And forgive me if these two questions seem rude, but are you indeed the child's legal guardian? And if so, via adoption or bloodline?

[happyturtle]

Susan is offended at the implication, but tries to remain polite. "I am unmarried, Sir. Rose is my adopted child."

[Lord Magtok]

Alright then, I'm done for now, I'll leave my associate to ask any further questions.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe steps up to Susan. Ms. Susan, you have stated that you did not, in fact, see Nomlas take the child. How did you arrive at the conclusion that he was, in fact, attempting to kidnap her?

[happyturtle]

"When he threw the sleep grenade at me, I was holding my child. When I woke up, she was no longer in my arms. Kidnapping doesn't seem like an unreasonable presumption," Susan answers frostily.

Rose coos at Vespe.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe smiles at Rose, then returns to his (mostly) stern demeanor. Ms. Susan, simply because he's evil, you believe him to have kidnapped your child? Have you thought of any of the other possibilities? Perhaps the grenade was misaimed. Perhaps Fanboy stole your child for his evil Gary Stu power rituals.

Have you thought, even for a moment, that perhaps there was a fire or a demon invasion, and Nomlas was only doing what he thought best for the safety of your child? He slams his hand on the stand. Again.

[happyturtle]

"No, Sir. I didn't think any of those things," Susan says.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Precisely. No more questions, your honor.

[Morty]

Dipsnig can't help but to laugh quietly at Vespe's methods of defending Nomlas.

[happyturtle]

Susan steps down from the stand. She hopes The Onion will call Wenomir to the stand next, as his player appears to be online.

[Darkcomet]

Dipsnig can't help but to laugh quietly at Vespe's methods of defending Nomlas.

The same goes for DC.

[Lex-Kat]

The Onion bounces on his seat. I would like to call forth, Geor... The Onion pauses. What? He's unavailable at the moment? Oh. Okay.

The Onion bounces in his seat again. As I was saying, I would like to call Wenomir to the stand, please.

[Morty]

Wenomir, a tall, thin man with red eyes wearing hide armor and black cloak enters the coutroom and walks towards the stand.
I'm here, your honor.

[happyturtle]

Ian swears him in.

[Morty]

After being sworn in, Wenomir patiently awaits the questions.

[Lex-Kat]

The Onion rolls forward. Mr. Wenomir, please state your full name, for the record.

After he does. Mr. Wenomir, where were you during the incident occuring in GLoG HQ, when Baby Rose was held hostage.

[Morty]

((In case it's important, Wenomir does have a last name, which is Rawicz, read "Ravich"))
I've been doing my usual patrols around the base when I heard a commotion in one of the rooms. When I got there, I saw Nomlas throw a sleeping gas grenade at Ms. Elliot and her daughter and then try to grab the child and escape. I tried to stop him, but I failed. He then threatened to kill Rose if we don't cooperate. I gave him a chance to surrender peacefully but he refused. Then a woman calling herself Rabbit appeared, grabbed Rose from Nomlas and demanded that we tell her where is Fanboy. When Ms. Elliot gave her that information, she tried to give Rose back to Nomlas, but Ms. Elliot managed to grab her daughter. Then Mr. Francis and I took Nomlas to prison.

[Lex-Kat]

((In case it's important, Wenomir does have a last name, which is Rawicz, read "Ravich"))
I've been doing my usual patrols around the base when I heard a commotion in one of the rooms. When I got there, I saw Nomlas throw a sleeping gas grenade at Ms. Elliot and her daughter and then try to grab the child and escape. I tried to stop him, but I failed. He then threatened to kill Rose if we don't cooperate. I gave him a chance to surrender peacefully but he refused. Then a woman calling herself Rabbit... *Snip*

At this point The Onion quickly interupts. Whoa! Whoa! Please Mr. Rawicz, just answer the question. We wouldn't want to give the Defense any help, now would we? *Hint Hint*

Okay. So you actually saw Mr. Nomlas take the child from the unconscious Susan?

[Morty]

((I need to deadtime in few minutes, so I wanted to give a full testimony ASAP))
I did. He took the child and tried to escape through a portal.

[Lex-Kat]

One last question. Did he threaten the child?

[RabbitHoleLost]

((In case it's important, Wenomir does have a last name, which is Rawicz, read "Ravich"))
IThen a woman calling herself Rabbit appeared

((I don't think Rabbit once told anyone in the room her name =P))

[Morty]

((I don't think Rabbit once told anyone in the room her name =P))

((Actually, I'm preety sure she did. I recall that preety clearly, evne though I'm still looking for the right GLoG thread.))
((Evidence:
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm that Rabbit. The Necromancer Queen, Destroyer of Religions, blah blah blah.))
I suppose so, yes. He used sleep gas on her, which can be harmful for such a young child, and he threatened to kill her if we didn't let him go.

[Lex-Kat]

Thank you, Mr. Rawicz. I'm done with the witness. Thank you. The Onion rolls back to his seat.

[Morty]

Wenomir leaves the stand.
((Deadtime, finally.))

[RabbitHoleLost]

((Actually, I'm preety sure she did. I recall that preety clearly, evne though I'm still looking for the right GLoG thread.))
((Evidence: ))
I suppose so, yes. He used sleep gas on her, which can be harmful for such a young child, and he threatened to kill her if we didn't let him go.

((Oh. Heh. Well, okay. :smalltongue:))

[Nameless]

Nameless yawns and streatches.

[Draken]

If the prosecution is done, the defense can take the witness now.

(heh. My keyboard seems to have eaten the "fe".

And M0rt. You are supposed to wait for the defense to question you)

[Darkcomet]

((Is that a typo or not?

EDIT: Aw. I liked "dense" better.))

[Morty]

Wenomir waits for the defense to question him.
((I'd do this yesterday, but I had to deadtime and go to sleep.))

[Almighty Salmon]

Although he hasn't been talking much, Nomlas has been listening rather intently to each witnesses' testimony and cross examination. He's pouting slightly, seemingly not as confident as he was when the trial had begun.

[happyturtle]

((AS, do you want to do any cross examination while your lawyers are deadtimed?))

[Almighty Salmon]

((No thanks, i'll leave that stuff to Vespe and Magtok)).

[Morty]

((Which means Wenomir is stuck here until they appear, which might be at the exact moment I have to get off that damn computer already. V.V))

[happyturtle]

((Okay, but Magtok might not be back online till Wednesday))

[Lex-Kat]

((Wenomir can be other places, just use a temporal clone or whatever. At some point they merge and become one again.))

[Morty]

((I don't like such stuff, but I guess I can do that.))

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe walks up to Wenomir. Mr. Wenomir, would you please tell the court your prior relations to the defendant and the...the...person who..Susan. Your relations to the defendant and Susan.

((Oh noes, Vespe is forgetting his legal terms :smalltongue:))

[Morty]

I hardly know Mrs. Elliot, as I've joined GLoG recently, and I've never met Nomlas before this encounter.

[Vespe Ratavo]

I see. Tell me, Mr. Wenomir, do you know what this is? Vespe reaches into his suitcase and produces what appears to be a live badger. He holds it by its tail, swinging it back and forth in front of Wenomir.

[Morty]

Wenomir looks at Vespe coldly with his red pupil-less eyes.
It appears to be a badger, sir.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Exactly. Vespe suddenly pulls his arm back, and swings the badger at Wenomir's face.

[happyturtle]

Decker, a thirteen year old girl with devil horns, white hair, and a feathered cloak, appears through a portal. She waves at everybody and takes a seat near the defence table.

[Morty]

Wenomir catches the badger without blinking and puts it on the ground. Is that all, sir?

[Lex-Kat]

Objection!! (http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=2806741)

[Darkcomet]

DC appears through the same portal as Decker. She hums a happy tune and sits down at the witness area.

[Vespe Ratavo]

Vespe furrows his brow, looking rather annoyed at the failure of his badger assault. Never mind. That will be all. Vespe returns to his seat.

[Morty]

Wenomir remains in the stand in case someone wants to ask him any more questions. He looks at Vespe as if trying to remember his face.

Dipsnig is trying very hard not to laugh.

[Darkcomet]

Oh, look. Fullbladder's back in AMEN.

DC disappears.

[Vossik]

Aughburgle chases the badger down and forces it down his throat. He looks around at peoples reactions before going back to his seat.

[happyturtle]

Decker crawls under the chairs and pops up next to Vespe. "I thought you were brilliant!" she whispers.

Susan looks at The Onion, wondering if he will call any more witnesses.

[Morty]

Dipsnig raises his hand. Is the jury allowed to ask the defence questions?

[Vespe Ratavo]

Thank you, Vespe whispers back, then snickers, and continues and now, for my next trick... He grins smugly.

[happyturtle]

"Yes. Yes they are," Ian says, after consulting a law book.

[Morty]

Alright then. So, Herr Vespe, what was the purpose of trying to hit the witness with a badger?

[Vespe Ratavo]

That's generally considered to be the most effective way to question someone on Gallifrey.

[Morty]

I see. Go on, please. Dipsnig is trying very hard to remain serious, with less than succesful results.

[Vespe Ratavo]

That's all my questions for now.

[Lex-Kat]

((Let's assume that Magtok declines to question Wenomir, but requests the right to call him back, at a later time. That work? If so....))

The Onion jumps up. I'd like to call George Shackleton to the witness stand, please.

[Morty]

Wenomir leaves the witness stand and the courtroom. He can be called from GLoG base at any time, of course.

[happyturtle]

George Shackleton, a tall bearded man, is suddenly teleported into the courtroom.

He appears rather pale. And dazed.

[Lex-Kat]

Mr. Shackleton, could you please take a seat at the witness stand.

[happyturtle]

George walks to the witness stand in a daze. Ian swears him in.

[Lex-Kat]

For the record, sir. Could you please state your full name.

After he does. The Onion asks, Were you in attendance when Baby Rose was held hostage?

[Kaelaroth]

Atomos is watching in interest from the jury box, in case anyone forgot he was here. :smalltongue:

[Lex-Kat]

((I saw that Nomlas. :smalltongue:

You're just lucky I didn't realize I needed to quote it.))

[happyturtle]

"I... saw them... They were fighting over something."

Alek? Alek, where are you? Tell me you're okay, please?

[Almighty Salmon]

((I saw that Nomlas. :smalltongue:))

((You saw nothing!))

Nomlas is sitting silently at the defense's table, watching George curiously. Perhaps this witness could actually help their case.

[Lex-Kat]

Sorry, George. Could you elaborate a bit, please? What were they fighting over? And who are they? The Onion stops in front of George.

[Kaelaroth]

There is no reply from Alek.

[happyturtle]

"Nomlas and Wenomir and Susan... I think Turtle's sister was there... and they were fighting over the baby..." He buries his face in his hands. "Do I really have to do this?"

[Lex-Kat]

It will only take a moment, George. Did you see who initially took Baby Rose away from Susan?

[Vespe Ratavo]

Objection! Your honor, the prosecution is endangering the mental health of the witness! He clearly is unable to proceed due to emotional distress, and I suggest he be relieved of his duty as a witness.

[happyturtle]

"I don't know. Could have been any of them."

[Lex-Kat]

Fine. I have no problem with this witness being excused. The Onion rolls back to his seat.

[happyturtle]

George steps down and teleports back to GLoG.

[Lex-Kat]

The prosecution would like to next call Czernov, to the stand.

[Kaelaroth]

For the purposes of convenience, Czernov arrives suddenly, knowing what's going on, and is sworn in.