View Full Version : Vote up a Tavern/Inn - Complete

Thane of Fife
2008-11-02, 07:41 PM
Since the new trend around here seems to be to steal Zeta Kai's idea of Voting Threads, and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I figured I'd try my hand at one. And since every game needs Taverns and Inns, I decided to try at making one of those. For examples, see Vote Up a Monster (3.X) #4 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95195), Vote up Another Villain! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95452), or Vote Up a Monster 4e Edition #2: Live Free and Vote Hard (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95353)

:thog: Thog thank afroakuma for table code.

Voting Categories:

Location: In Dungeon / Ancient Ruin

Along major road|0
In small village/town|1
In major city|0
In dungeon/ancient ruin|19
Off the beaten trail / In the wilderness|1
In castle / fort|0

Environ: In the Sky

In the sky|10
On another plane|0

Owner: Humanoid/Troglodyte Were-Winged Snake Cleric

Intelligent Non-Humanoid|5

{table=head]Owner's Race|Votes

{table=head]Animal Form|Votes
Bird (non-raptor)|0
Cat (Any Type)|0
Dire Shark|1
Eagle (Or other Raptor)|0
Snake, Winged|3
Winged Dire Shark|2

Owner's Class: Cleric

Rogue|Sort-Of 1

Primary Clientele: Pilgrims

{table=head]Primary Clientele|Votes
Working Stiffs|1
Housewives/Househusbands (There must be a better word)|2
Specific Other Race (Requires Further Voting)|0
Bounty Hunters|2

Claim to Fame: "Special Services" <wink, wink, nudge, nudge>

{table=head]Claim to Fame|Votes
Excellent Food|0
Excellent Drinks|0
Excellent Rooms|0
Famous / Special Clients|3
Famous / Special Owner|1
Good Location|2
Special Services|0
"Special Services" <Wink, wink, nudge, nudge>|6

Insert Other things which should probably be voted on but which I, as of yet, cannot think of.

I suspect you know the drill: Vote for one option only, and only from the options currently up for bid (Claim to Fame, at the moment). Bold your vote or it will almost certainly be ignored. If you have some brilliant idea, feel free to vote it instead of one of my options. I'm perfectly willing to take write-ins.

2008-11-02, 07:53 PM
My vote is for in a dungeon/ancient ruin. Maybe an ancient refreshment spot for whatever fallen civilization was there before. Could be run by undead or constructs... the patrons long gone but the booze remains! Thousand year old scotch! Just don't try to eat any of the snacks.

2008-11-02, 08:06 PM
Thane: the format is

Location|vote number goes here
Location 2|vote number goes here

And I will also vote for In a Dungeon. The Undermountain-osity would be great.

2008-11-02, 08:09 PM
I'll second third dungeon/ancient ruins

2008-11-02, 08:12 PM
Third, Shadow. You'll third it.


2008-11-02, 08:16 PM
Your Threadjitsu is indeed great, Afroakuma-san.

I have, indeed, been ninja'ed

2008-11-02, 08:20 PM
Wilderness FTW

Thane of Fife
2008-11-02, 08:30 PM
First few votes added.

And thanks for the table code.

It looks so pretty now.

2008-11-02, 08:34 PM
I'm gonna have to say Dungeon/Ruin; you never see taverns down there!

obvious pun
2008-11-02, 09:10 PM

2008-11-02, 09:18 PM
In Dungeon/Ruin

2008-11-02, 09:31 PM
In Dungeon/Ruin

2008-11-02, 09:33 PM
dungeon/ancient ruin

Mando Knight
2008-11-02, 10:23 PM
It's another vote for a tavern in a dungeon! Thy Dungeonman shall have plenty of drinks!

2008-11-02, 10:27 PM
in a dungeon/ancient ruin

2008-11-02, 10:28 PM
in a dungeon/ancient ruin

Zeta Kai
2008-11-03, 12:31 AM
Well, even though I will surely waste my vote with this, I must vote for Small Village/Town.

And, yes, I've had the opportunity to be flattered quite often lately. :smallconfused:

2008-11-03, 12:34 AM
Dungeon/Ruin, I'd love to see how that works out!

2008-11-03, 12:36 AM
In a dungeon.


2008-11-03, 12:54 AM
I agree with dungeon/ ruin. Sounds like a recipe for win.

2008-11-03, 01:54 AM
Dungeon/ancient ruin. Good places to took the looter's moneys.

2008-11-03, 03:06 AM
Taverns? In the middle of a dungeon?

You have my vote, good sir.

2008-11-03, 05:52 AM
i vote for in dungeon/ruin

2008-11-03, 06:35 AM

I play a lot of Eberron. And thought about having a tavern down in ancient catacombs is pretty appealing.

Or in deserted cities of giants in Xendrik continent. Giant automated servings of alcohol in giant glasses. Giant pill of aspirin, anyone?

The barman/maid should be intelligent nonhuman at least.

2008-11-03, 08:35 AM
"We have been wondering through this cave for days now! We'll never find the way out...wait...is that a tavern over there???"

It shall be dungeon/ancient ruins for me.

Thane of Fife
2008-11-03, 02:27 PM
I had intended to continue this first round longer, but I don't see any point - the odds of 19 people appearing from nowhere and voting all for one thing other than In a Dungeon are almost non-existant.

So, on to voting for Environs.

Thy Dungeonman shall have plenty of drinks!

He wouldn't be able to use the tavern - he cannot take ye flask.

2008-11-03, 02:31 PM
Tavern in the sky!

2008-11-03, 02:37 PM
I'll second the In the Sky vote - a tavern in a ruined flying castle!

Zeta Kai
2008-11-03, 02:40 PM
Well, the most common dungeons are underground, as are many ancient ruins (at least in-game they are), so logic dictates that I vote for Underground.

But we all know that Logic will get trampled under the boot of Silly. :smallsigh:

2008-11-03, 02:42 PM
But we all know that Logic will get trampled under the boot of Silly.

No. Really? I can't think of any instances of that happening.

I'll second Underground. Sorry skyfolk; I use too many underground dungeons.

2008-11-03, 02:50 PM
In the sky.

2008-11-03, 02:51 PM
I'm just continuing the theme. A tavern anywhere other than a town or a thriving trade route is utterly absurd, so if it's already going to be absurd why not go whole hog and put it in the sky?

2008-11-03, 02:54 PM
A tavern in a dungeon could be very logical, depending on the circumstances of the dungeon. Like base camp at Everest, it could be a trade waypoint for merchants and aventureres going after a hidden treasure cache or suchlike. Could even be an archaeological dig.

2008-11-03, 02:55 PM
Hm. Let's see. My vote goes to underground, because i use lots of underground dungeons.

2008-11-03, 03:16 PM
Dungeon in the Sky! Could be a floating fort or something! Hell, that sounds like a kickass rock band name.

2008-11-03, 03:35 PM
in the sky. Cuz thats where all the good ancient ruins/dungeons are.


2008-11-03, 04:14 PM
In the sky. Because nothing says badass like pearly gates leading to lots of ale. :smallbiggrin:

2008-11-03, 04:20 PM
Underwater. I'm thinking of the water temple in Legend of zelda games here- It's underwater, but it's not filled with water.

2008-11-03, 04:56 PM
Is it possible to have both mountain and underground?

2008-11-03, 04:58 PM
In the Sky

2008-11-03, 05:19 PM
pondshadow: Durnan's tavern already connects to Undermountain, we don't need another one. :smalltongue:

2008-11-03, 05:40 PM
*Sprays Ninja Repellent (TM)*

I will second the vote of Underwater.

*Sprays More Ninja Repellent (TM) for good measure*

2008-11-03, 05:44 PM
In the Sky. With Lucy. And Diamonds.

2008-11-03, 09:23 PM
I have to say, I thought a vote-able tavern was a good idea, but putting it in ruins was cliche and yet still nonsensical. I hope the election tomorrow holds better promises for democracy (whoever you vote for).

Blue Ghost
2008-11-03, 09:33 PM
I'll say underwater.

2008-11-04, 12:35 AM
In the sky.

2008-11-04, 05:41 AM
One more vote for underwater!

2008-11-04, 09:37 AM
I'm going to have to go with Underground.

2008-11-04, 11:21 AM
lets go up to that awesome tavern in the sky

Thane of Fife
2008-11-04, 03:18 PM
It's been about 24 hours. The Tavern will therefore be in the Sky. On to voting for Owner. Humanoid or Intelligent Non-Humanoid (Three guesses which one wins - last two don't count).

And please, people, Bold your votes.

2008-11-04, 03:29 PM
I'll say Humanoid, actually. I'm hoping for a gnome named Jack who took the tavern over from its original cloud giant owner.

2008-11-04, 03:30 PM
Simply to spite your assumption that we will choose a monster because of the absurdity of this dungeon, humanoid.

2008-11-04, 04:01 PM
Intelligent Non-Humanoid. There are too many humanoid establishments in dnd as it is.


2008-11-04, 04:02 PM
Humanoid. Hooray for mundanity.

2008-11-04, 04:27 PM
Intelligent Non-Humanoid.

2008-11-04, 04:27 PM
Intelligent Non-Humanoid

2008-11-04, 04:42 PM
Humanoid. A non-humanoid bartender lends itself to a variety of problems which would be difficult to resolve.

2008-11-04, 04:42 PM
Intelligent Non-Humanoid.

To be honest, I'm actually trying to make things easier. The chances of a tavern in a dungeon in the sky being run by a humanoid is remote. You would have some major splanin' to do, fluffwise (which is basically this entire VUA).

Zeta Kai
2008-11-04, 07:45 PM
I'll vote for Intelligent Non-Humanoid, as I think only something with wings would run a bar in the sky.

2008-11-05, 03:30 AM
I'mma go with Humanoid, because the gnome called Jack idea is MoW.

Kris Strife
2008-11-05, 05:25 AM
humanoid because bar wenching mid dungeon = awesome.

Thane of Fife
2008-11-05, 02:39 PM
Alright, the owner is a Humanoid. Next, vote for his (or her) actual race.

Yeah, I threw in some Monstrous Humanoids - they're close enough.

If there's a humanoid or almost humanoid whom you want, whom I have not listed, feel free to write it in. I'm willing to take things which are basically humanoid, but actually have a different type (such as Nymphs or Satyrs or whatever). I'm sure I've missed something bizarre.

I do, however, reserve the right to refuse to accept a nomination on the grounds that I don't know what it is.

Simply to spite your assumption that we will choose a monster because of the absurdity of this dungeon, humanoid.

Reverse psychology triumphs again!

2008-11-05, 02:46 PM

2008-11-05, 02:53 PM
Lycanthrope! definatly lycanthrope for all round crazy antics and giggles =D

If ya needs a base on that... a Minotaur cursed with lycanthropia of the were-rat variation :smallamused:

2008-11-05, 02:53 PM
If possible, I'd like to vote for Crane Hengeyokai.


Thane of Fife
2008-11-05, 03:05 PM
I just added Aarakocra, so if someone wants to change his mind, go for it.

If possible, I'd like to vote for Crane Hengeyokai.

I'm afraid that that would fall under the "I have no idea what it is" category, so I'd prefer to avoid it.

Zeta Kai
2008-11-05, 03:17 PM
I will vote for Lycanthrope.

2008-11-05, 03:43 PM
I'm afraid that that would fall under the "I have no idea what it is" category, so I'd prefer to avoid it.

Check your PMs.


2008-11-05, 04:22 PM
Aarakocra please! Though if you wanted to be really cheesy can't you technically stick lycanthropy on that?

Thane of Fife
2008-11-05, 04:24 PM
Check your PMs.

So it's basically a reverse Lycanthrope, in the style of the jackalwere or wolfwere, as far as I can tell.

Sure, that's fine.

2008-11-05, 04:25 PM
I'll change my vote from doppelganger to Lycanthorpe

2008-11-05, 06:44 PM
Gnome! Jack the gnome!

2008-11-05, 06:56 PM
I'll go with Minotaur

2008-11-05, 09:22 PM
I'd like to vote for Pixie.
They sort of have a reason for being well...


2008-11-05, 09:27 PM

That's actually why I voted for intelligent non-humanoid, so it could be an intelligent bird of some sort.

2008-11-05, 09:34 PM
That's actually why I voted for intelligent non-humanoid, so it could be an intelligent bird of some sort.

You know that Hengeyokai are realy just extra awakened animals right? They have the ability to change between their animal form, human form, and hybrid form. Seems to me like a bird hengeyokai would fit the intelligent bird idea better than the pixie.


2008-11-05, 09:43 PM
I'm voting for the Crane Hengeyokai, because that allows us to retain some semblance of logic.

2008-11-05, 09:59 PM
Because logic has clearly prevailed so far in this dungeon, TROGOLODYTE.

Stupid lizard man who own a tavern in the sky? Yes, please!

2008-11-05, 10:07 PM
I vote for gnoll

2008-11-05, 10:41 PM
Troglodyte Troglodyte Troglodyte!

2008-11-06, 01:08 AM

2008-11-06, 01:19 AM
Troglodyte FTW. Logic? Who uses logic nowadays?

2008-11-06, 04:39 AM
trogolyte a barowner who smells that bad that all his customers get sick?

i prefer the crow man (whatever that asian sounding name was) , just a little logic please

Thane of Fife
2008-11-06, 07:01 AM
trogodyte a barowner who smells that bad that all his customers get sick?

i prefer the crow man, just a little logic please

So what are you voting for? I don't see any bold.

2008-11-06, 10:07 AM

This is going to be the most messed-up tavern ever conceived.

Thane of Fife
2008-11-06, 02:59 PM
Alright, it's been 24 hours, so voting on race is closed.

The owner will be a... Lycanthropic Troglodyte....

Next vote will be on the animal part of the Lycanthrope - give me a moment to put up the table, although you're more than welcome to start spewing out crazy animals.

2008-11-06, 03:04 PM


Thane of Fife
2008-11-06, 03:06 PM
Couatl is not an animal.

Perhaps I should have been more clear - it has to be some kind of Animal.

EDIT: Snake would be fine, though.

2008-11-06, 03:14 PM
but just snakes don't have wings...


Thane of Fife
2008-11-06, 03:18 PM
I could go for Snake, Winged (they exist in 2e, I can probably bring them over).

2008-11-06, 03:20 PM
Alright, I'll go Snake, Winged, for now. I'm gunna scoure through the 3.x animals though to see what else there is.


2008-11-06, 03:21 PM
Rat, although now I come to think of it a Horse would be very entertaining... but my vote is still Rat.

2008-11-06, 03:22 PM
Second Winged Snake. Or maybe Horned Rat. Nah, Winged Snake.

2008-11-06, 03:24 PM
i vote for rat

2008-11-06, 04:20 PM

I stay by the must be flying.

2008-11-06, 04:56 PM
Dire Shark.

2008-11-06, 05:45 PM

Invisible bar-tender anyone?

2008-11-06, 09:06 PM
I'm going to have to go with dog just for fun

obvious pun
2008-11-06, 09:19 PM
Dire Shark, Winged

2008-11-06, 09:29 PM
...You know what? Screw logic. There. I said it. Logic has no place in this contest. Winged dire shark that has been genetically modified to glow in the dark and wears a little propeller beanie that shoots free saltines at the pure of heart.

(NB if Thane of Fife disapproves of that, I'm voting for Winged Snake)

2008-11-06, 09:41 PM
Squid, because tentacled trogs are awesome.

2008-11-06, 11:32 PM
Winged Snake, because logic went out of fashion several posts ago.

2008-11-06, 11:35 PM
You know what? Elephant.

Yeah, Elephant. If we've got a lycanthropic trogolodyte running a bar in the sky, why not make him turn into a giant mammal with a huge nose?

2008-11-06, 11:36 PM
Squid, because tentacled trogs are awesome.

Now wait, would this be a winged or otherwise flying squid. Cuz if so that would be much more fun than a winged snake.


2008-11-07, 12:11 AM
Winged Snake

Thane of Fife
2008-11-07, 03:40 PM
Winged Snake it is (quick, before someone else votes for the Dire Shark!)

We are now voting on Primary Clientele. Also, please vote either Yes or No for whether the bartender should have a Class (do I really need to bother?).

Please note that I will be limiting possible classes to explicitly Core Only, no exceptions.

2008-11-07, 04:27 PM
Hmmm, could you add a catigory for something like bounty hunters/assasins (like a gathering place where people can go to post jobs/look for jobs). If not then I'll go with Pilgrims. It's not as fun, but it makes sense for a tavern in ruins in the sky.

As for a class I'll vote Yes.


2008-11-07, 05:33 PM
Yes pilgrims sound like the kind of dudes that would go to such a place.
As long as they're winged.

2008-11-07, 09:43 PM
Working spods.

2008-11-07, 10:13 PM
I vote No for class.

And Bounty Hunters/Assassins for clientele.

If not, then Pilgrims.

2008-11-07, 10:55 PM
Housewives. Really desperate ones.

And yes for class.

obvious pun
2008-11-07, 11:09 PM
House spouse
Yes to class

Edit: This just occurred to me, but is the owner a natural lycanthrope or an afflicted lycanthrope?

2008-11-08, 02:05 AM
Pilgrims. Passing through the tavern owned by a lycanthropic troglodyte is a task unto itself....

Edit: Oh, and No to class.

2008-11-08, 11:05 AM
Pilgrims, and Yes to class (I have an image of a singing winged-snake troglodyte... although knowing how these go, it's as likely to end up Barb as Bard).

2008-11-08, 03:23 PM
Pilgrims and No to class, please.

2008-11-08, 03:38 PM
advetures (because really who else would go to dungeon in the sky?)

and yes to class (needs to be able to beat those adventure's who want's to make trouble)

2008-11-08, 04:59 PM
Hmm.. taking up a new train of thought.
Here we have a Tavern, An "dungeon/ancient" ruin. "Up in the sky", manned by "Humanoid/Troglodyte Were-Winged Snake" ... Of course they're serving divine clientel.
My vote for Deities / Demigods!

... Actually, that'd make a great pitstop in a campaign..adventurers stumbling upon an ancient culture that served divine beings quite literally.

2008-11-08, 05:06 PM
... Actually, that'd make a great pitstop in a campaign..adventurers stumbling upon an ancient culture that served divine beings quite literally.

Hence the pilgrims...


Thane of Fife
2008-11-08, 09:42 PM
Alright, the clientele consists primarily of Pilgrims. And the owner does indeed have (a) class.

I'll need a moment to update the first entry, but you know what the Core classes are, so feel free to start voting.

2008-11-08, 09:50 PM
Given the clientel and location, I think I'll go with Cleric for now. But, that might change.


2008-11-08, 09:54 PM
Cleric, baby!

obvious pun
2008-11-08, 11:39 PM

2008-11-09, 12:06 AM

edit: whoops, missed the race selection by a while

2008-11-09, 11:11 AM
I vote for a Barbarian barkeeper

2008-11-09, 12:11 PM
wizard a beliver in logic who himself defy it.

2008-11-09, 12:23 PM

Can you imagine how handy Create Food and Drink would be for an innkeeper? Not to mention Heroes' Feast.

2008-11-09, 12:42 PM
Cleric. Just for that he can't run out off food and drink.

2008-11-09, 12:48 PM
Cleric. I agree that conjuring food + drink is good for a barkeep.

2008-11-09, 12:57 PM

Purify Food and Drink, Light, Sanctuary, Calm Emotions, Make Whole and so on. That's one hell of a baarkeeper. It raises some interesting questions about his/her domain though. Some neutral deity with diplomacy portfolio maybe... considering the patrons of that place.

But from where does he restock supplies? And how?

2008-11-09, 01:29 PM
Cleric - Beer for the Beer God!

2008-11-09, 02:23 PM
Cleric - Beer for the Beer God!

Jaeger for the jaegomeister! Bottles for the Bottle Throne! Coffee for the Morning After!

Cleric ftw:smalltongue:

Zeta Kai
2008-11-09, 02:55 PM
Oh, hell. Cleric.

2008-11-09, 03:57 PM
Surely running a an in in a sky ruins would require an Expert

2008-11-09, 06:16 PM
Favoured Soul

2008-11-09, 06:32 PM
Ooh, I was going to go Cleric, but Favored soul of Wenta!

2008-11-09, 06:43 PM
Well the cliente of our lycanthropic troglodyte are religious pilgrims, so the only logical choice is Barbarian.

2008-11-09, 07:15 PM
Favoured Soul

Ooh, I was going to go Cleric, but Favored soul of Wenta!

I recall him saying phb classes only.


2008-11-09, 07:17 PM
I've got to go with cleric

2008-11-09, 07:18 PM
Assassin, of course.

2008-11-09, 07:22 PM
I recall him saying phb classes only.

Sorry! Change my vote to Cleric, in that case.

Thane of Fife
2008-11-09, 08:12 PM
Alright: Cleric it is.

Next on the checklist is 'Claim to Fame,' or 'Why do people come here?'

2008-11-09, 08:14 PM
"Special Services" <Wink, wink, nudge, nudge>, but only for fellow lycanthropic trogs.

2008-11-09, 09:30 PM
Special Clients.

The Beer God, of course.

2008-11-09, 09:49 PM
Special Clients


2008-11-09, 09:52 PM
Sooo, um are the "special services" <wink, wink, nudge, nudge> the kind that make you feel good, or the kind than make someone feel bad (as in dead)...

Till that gets answered though, I'll go with good location. I mean it makes sense as most of the clientele are pilgrims. Also, special clientel? Don't be silly. It's obvious that the owner is the beer god. Who else would be fit to serve beer to all the gods staying there?
Also, change my vote from good location to Special Owner.


Thane of Fife
2008-11-09, 10:25 PM
Sooo, um are the "special services" <wink, wink, nudge, nudge> the kind that make you feel good, or the kind than make someone feel bad (as in dead)...

If, by "make someone feel bad (as in dead)" you're referring to the Bounty Hunter / Assassin thing, that would be regular Special Services (without the <Wink Wink, Nudge, Nudge>)

I was referencing this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT3_UCm1A5I).

So, more the "make you feel good" type, though it could also involve making someone else feel bad....

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean, know what I mean?

2008-11-09, 10:36 PM
Special Services" <Wink, wink, nudge, nudge>

'Nudge as good as a wink to a blind kobold, ay'?

2008-11-09, 10:40 PM
Thats what I'd thought, but sometimes assasination is discussed in a wink, wink, nudge, nudge manner. After all. It'd be a shame if the head of the rival company died <wink, wink, nudge, nudge>.


obvious pun
2008-11-09, 11:13 PM
Special Services <Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge, Know what I mean, Say no more>

Samurai Jill
2008-11-09, 11:26 PM
Good location. For irony!

Housewives/Househusbands (There must be a better word)|2

husband |ˈhəzbənd|
a married man considered in relation to his wife : she and her husband are both retired.
verb [ trans. ]
use (resources) economically; conserve : the need to husband his remaining strength.
husbander noun ( rare).
husbandhood |-ˌhoŏd| noun
husbandless adjective
husbandly adjective
ORIGIN late Old English (in the senses [male head of a household] and [manager, steward] ), from Old Norse húsbóndi ‘master of a house,’ from hús ‘house’ + bóndi ‘occupier and tiller of the soil.’ The original sense of the verb was [till, cultivate.]

I would suspect 'husbander'.

2008-11-10, 01:14 AM
Special Services" <Wink, wink, nudge, nudge>

2008-11-10, 01:18 AM
Lol, looks like it might turn out to be pilgrims coming to this hard to reach tavern/inn for somewhat less than holy (in most god's oppinions) reasons.


2008-11-10, 06:46 AM
Special Services ,Special Owner and Special Location

Hard to choose. A tavern in sky, with lycantrophic cleric kuo-toa barman can easily fill out all three. But considering, that its clients are pilgrims, then i'd vote for Special Location. It may offer pretty specific services and the barman/maid is really special .... but still. It is a fantastic location :smallamused:

2008-11-10, 07:07 AM
Lol, looks like it might turn out to be pilgrims coming to this hard to reach tavern/inn for somewhat less than holy (in most god's oppinions) reasons.

Maybe they serve the God(ess) of the ... You know what i mean.

2008-11-10, 09:58 AM
Special Services" <Wink, wink, nudge, nudge>, just to make things interesting :smallamused:

Zeta Kai
2008-11-10, 10:22 AM
Well, how else is a bar in a dungeon in the sky going to keep it's clientelle? I'll vote for Special Services.

Just so we're clear, we are talking about whores, right?

2008-11-10, 10:26 AM
Famous / Special Clients
Perfect and Classic way to start a Quest, since its in a dungeon/ruin, perfect way to start detours and side-quests!

2008-11-10, 10:47 AM
Well, how else is a bar in a dungeon in the sky going to keep it's clientelle? I'll vote for Special Services.

Just so we're clear, we are talking about whores, right?

Well, Special Services would be like assasins and other odd jobs. I think you ment Special Services <wink, wink, nudge, nudge>


Thane of Fife
2008-11-10, 08:28 PM
Alright, the tavern's Claim to Fame will be the "Special Services" it offers <wink, wink, nudge, nudge>. Know what I mean?

That appears to be all - if there's something else which you desperately think needs voting, feel free to suggest it; otherwise, I'll try to get the finished project up over the next few days.

Thane of Fife
2008-11-13, 05:47 PM
Wow, this thing fell down the page quickly. Sorry for taking so long.

The Final Gasp Tavern

It is said that the Southern Waste of Arak is, in actuality, the trapped form of the God of Poison, bound here eons ago after being trapped in his own lusts by the Gods of Light. Jutting forth from this otherwise featureless landscape sits the Tower Eretto, reaching into the sky farther than the eye can see, partly due to the haze which constantly surrounds its peak. The tower is carved of sleek stone which matches the color of the earth around it, and widens slightly near its pinnacle, from which billows forth an endless stream of poisonous gas, which wafts through the sky, clearing it of birds and creating thick, toxic clouds, before slowly settling to the ground below, exterminating all forms of plant life and giving birth to the Wastes themselves. Animals are scarce here, for few can survive long in this tainted environment, where there is little food, and where the very air is death.

And yet, those who claim the Lord of Poison as their patron venture forth to this tower regardless, eager to make the pilgrimage to this most holy of sites to their god. Without complaint they breathe in the toxic fumes which surround the tower, their minds fixed upon the glories awaiting them inside.

The lower portion of the Tower Eretto is, if possible, even deadlier than the exterior. It is a trial completeable only by the most experienced and prepared - poisonous gases fill the rooms and corridors, specimens of the world's most venomous monsters haunt the area, seeking pilgrims upon which to feed, and traps abound, all eager to inject travelers with any number of unpleasant toxins. As the quester climbs ever towards the pinnacle of the tower, the stairs seem to be endless in number, and, barring magic, he will be forced, eventually, to begin to feed upon the tainted corpses of those who have been less fortunate than he, and whose bodies can be found along the halls and stairwells of the tower.

Still, the truly faithful will endure, relying upon their knowledge of poisons and antidotes, as well as their personal constitutions, to climb one floor at a time, slowly but inexorably making it to the tower's peak. It is as the pilgrim approaches the shrine at the tower's top that he will eventually find The Final Gasp. The tavern consumes almost an entire floor of the tower, with only the stairs up and down being outside of it. Although it can, therefore, be bypassed, it is the only easy source of food within the tower, and individuals are rarely willing to pass on any opportunity for real food at this point.

The first thing to strike a person entering the Last Gasp Tavern is undoubtedly the smell. Upon opening the door, an odor combining the worst aspects of troglodyte and bile washes over the entering travelers, who must pass a DC 20 Fortitude save or be violently ill for 10 rounds, during which time they can take no actions. Immediately following the first wave of this stench comes the roar of the crowd inside - a mixture of shrieks, grunts, and moans arises from the orgy of nausea inside the tavern, mixed with the frequent sound of someone or something vomiting loudly and violently, often over anybody nearby.

An assortment of small, round tables fill much of the room, with a rectangular bar at its center, worked by the owner, a troglodyte who wears a fang-shaped amulet about his neck. Most of the tables are covered at least partially in dried bile, although this is ignored by many of the patrons, who happily eat off of them. On the floor, patrons copulate with barmaids and other travelers, vomiting over each other from the terrible stench and horrific alcohol levels even as they writhe about in the filth which covers the floor.

In the kitchen, two more troglodytes prepare various animals for eating, as well as brewing beers. When supplies run low, they, or perhaps the owner (all priests of the shrine above), will take advantage of their god-given abilities to either conjure up new foods or to shift their forms and take to the skies as winged snakes, traveling to some other land where food is more easily found, so as to restock supplies. Most foods served here will be from regions relatively near the Tower, often supplemented by bland foods from a Create Food and Water spell. Eating here is, surprisingly, not particularly unhealthy, but the food is generally not particularly good, and it will not taste any better when it comes back up.

The vast majority of the pilgrims who come to this holy site find ecstasy in the Last Gasp, and will remain here, visiting the temple above in the mornings and spending much of the rest of there days in the tavern, locked in an eternal, blissful orgy of poison and nausea. Their once-strong forms will slowly decay due to near-constant alcohol poisoning, as well as from the toxins still tainting their bodies from the way up the tower, until, finally, they collapse, their bodies unable to maintain themselves. Their corpses will quickly decay into little more than a cloud of taint, and this gas will rise to the shrine above, to be ejected into the hazy sky.

Plot Hooks:

- It's a dangerous trip to the Tower Eretto, and some pilgrims might try to hire the PCs to escort them. They'll probably have to pay really well, though.

- The king / queen / other important person has been poisoned with some obscure toxin which resists all treatments. Ascend the Tower Eretto and speak to one of the experts on poisons at its peak, bold adventurers! And try to make it back alive.

- The PCs need to reach somewhere even higher in the sky. The hole at the tip of the Tower, as the tallest structure in the world, is a natural starting point for this journey, but can the PCs survive the trip?

- The opposite - the PCs are returning from somewhere in the sky, and the Tower is the only place they can land (their Feather Fall spells are wearing off, perhaps). Now they need to climb down.

- Worshippers of an evil god! Dungeon of Death! Adventurers! Need I say more?

Stat-wise, Winged Snakes should be basically equivalent to Large Vipers (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/snake.htm#viperSnake), which have no Swim speed, but instead a Fly Speed of 40 ft (good). They tend to be brightly-colored, and their wings beat extraordinarily fast, in a fashion comparable to that of a hummingbird.

The troglodytes can be clerics and adepts of whatever levels you like - they're all were-winged snakes, however.

Yeah, kind of a weird place. If you really want me to stat some stuff up, I could do that, but not being much of a 3.5 player, I can't vouch for any particular quality in stat-lines.

I don't know, I feel like it's still missing something.

2008-11-13, 07:13 PM
I don't know, I feel like it's still missing something.

Can you describe the actual shrine above the tavern, as well as the Southern Waste of Arak.

Additonal plot hook: The Barkeep is running low on food, and needs the PCs to bring copious amounts of food up to the tavern.

Thane of Fife
2008-11-13, 09:21 PM
Can you describe the actual shrine above the tavern, as well as the Southern Waste of Arak.

I could certainly do that.

There is little to be said about the vast expanse known as the Southern Waste. It is a place of no life, and it is avoided by most sane individuals, for the gases which fill the area sap the strength of those who pass through, slowly draining them, and eventually leaving most as little more than corpses. A perpetual haze hangs over the area, blotting out most sunlight. All of these factors combine to make the Waste a haunting ground of undead of any number of sorts.

The landscape itself is primarily rocky and flat. Winds are uncommon, but when they come they blow grains of sand along the rocky crags. The small quantities of sand prevent sandstorms from forming, so, should one be capable of defending himself from both the living dead and deadly fumes, there are worse ways to travel than through the Waste.

(In game terms, I'd say something like a DC 10 Fortitude save every day, or take 1 point of Constitution damage. Constitution damage taken in this fashion cannot be recovered by an individual in the Wastes or in the Tower. Otherwise, it is recovered as normal. In addition, there is never any natural bright light or sunlight in the Wastes).

As for the Shrine to the God of Poison? It's a large circular room, topped by a dome, perhaps 2 or 3 floors above the Last Gasp (these floors are relatively safe). The room is largely undecorated, with a square pedestal at its center. Directly above the pedestal is an oculus. The corpses of those who have died in the tavern, here, or in between are placed upon the pedestal, where they slowly dissolve into poisonous fumes, appearing for all the world as a plume of green smoke. These fumes slowly drift upwards, escaping through the oculus in small spurts. The oculus itself is just big enough for, say, an ogre to potentially fly through.

The shrine is always attended by a handful of Troglodyte clerics, who both tend to the pedestal, making certain that the gases rise through the oculus, and lead the prayers of any pilgrims who wish to offer devotions. At night, when services aren't offered, these troglodytes take to their hybrid forms, relying upon their increased capabilities to defend the shrine from intruders or drunken pilgrims.

Does that help?

2008-11-13, 10:08 PM
Thanks. I'm quite impressed with what you've done. Next time I run a campaign (which might not be for a while), I'll work in the dungeon and tavern, with a few changes of my own.