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BRC
2008-11-14, 09:27 AM
Industrial revolution era-campaign, long story short, the local Naval Intelligence Service is trying to blow up the first train. The Players are going to try to stop them, so they will fight abunch of NavInt goons onboard the train, and finish with a traintop battle against the famed Navint agent 770, Jim Stock (Monk 1/Factotum 8.) I refluffed his spells as gizmos (Pen that fires a scorching ray, liquor bottle full of Grease spell, packet of Ciggarettes that mimics a Burning Hands spell). Otherwise he uses his fists and a gun.

What I need, is some good Bond-one liners when Mister Stock takes out one of the PC's, so, Go.

Meat Shield
2008-11-14, 09:49 AM
Well, the obvious one is "the pen is mightier than the sword," for the magic pen. "Have a light?" for the pack of smokes, with the inflection being "do you want to be lit on fire" rather than "do you have a lighter for my cigarette.

TengYt
2008-11-14, 09:53 AM
"What a sticky situation."

"He couldn't stand the heat..."

"Shocking."

"How cold..."

"Chilling."

"Cool party."

"Let off some steam."

"Get the point?"

"I shot him. With a gun. And now he's dead."

Tsotha-lanti
2008-11-14, 09:55 AM
"Shocking."

That was when Sean Connery electrocuted the dude in a bathtub, right?

The wooden but slightly amused delivery is key.

ShneekeyTheLost
2008-11-14, 09:59 AM
Pity, you had surpassed your comrades and had almost achieved mediocre levels of competence.

Did you dip a level of Dragon Disciple or is your breath just that foul?

Superior Strength does not beat Stunning Smarts

Why is it that brawny physique is always accompanied by poor hygine?

I'm sorry, you wanted to match wits with me? Well, normally I do not fight an unarmed opponent, but in your case, I made an exception. [vs a caster]

Can we hurry this up a bit? I have three ladies all begging for my attention belowdecks, and they are certainly more attractive than you (to ANY female PC)

Keep that up and I'll show you what I can do in a grapple (again, to female PC)

TengYt
2008-11-14, 09:59 AM
Yup :smallbiggrin:

Admittingly a lot of mine were from Arnie rather than Bond. They're more hillarious in a stoic Austrian accent, though.

evisiron
2008-11-14, 10:00 AM
Grease spell bottle: "I knew you would slip up eventually"

If throwing someone off the train: "Oh well, the fares were too high anyway"

Using Cigs: "Didn't you hear? These things are bad for your health."

Using gun: "Look on the bright side, at least someone is gunning for you"

Using fists: "Nothing like the heavy handed approach, is there?"

Any more equipment we should know about?
Remember, if he uses the same method two or three times, say "I have run out of ____ related puns!" then attack! :smallbiggrin:

And make sure he has loads of ranks in bluff so after all this he can convince them his cuff links are grenades or something. :smallbiggrin:

Lord Herman
2008-11-14, 10:02 AM
If throwing someone off the train: "Oh well, the fares were too high anyway"

How about "No ticket"?

The Glyphstone
2008-11-14, 10:03 AM
'Looks like it's the end of the line for you..."

Funkyodor
2008-11-14, 10:04 AM
"No need to get up, I'll let myself out."

kamikasei
2008-11-14, 10:07 AM
Using gust of wind: "I knew this would come to blows!"

Burning hands: "You look a little hot under the collar!"

Feinting: "How ice to see you!" - then throw an acid spell at them.

Zenos
2008-11-14, 10:18 AM
"Oh good, I didn't get any fried [class] on my smoking," when he is sticking a PC's head in some sort of heating device like an oven or waffle iron or something.

TengYt
2008-11-14, 10:22 AM
"Die bad robots! Die!"

Meat Shield
2008-11-14, 10:26 AM
"Going out with a bang...."

"Why do you rail against the inevitable?"

If he connects really well with a punch, fluff it so that he holds the PC by the hair and punches him straight in the face, saying "I knew I would get a head in the game." Works extra well if he somehow decapitates someone.

"I believe this is my stop..." as he sets the bomb and jumps off the train

And when the PCs shoot back without so much as a pithy reply, "Such a leaden delivery. You should be ashamed."

TengYt
2008-11-14, 10:37 AM
(After knocking someone off the train) "It appears you need more training."

(After using an electrical attack) "What a bright spark."

(Yet another "ice" pun) "Cool off."

(Water attack) "That made quite a splash."

(When dodging an attack of a low Cha character) "You fight worse than you look..."

BRC
2008-11-14, 11:02 AM
He's a Factotum, so he can't use any of his "Spells" more than once.

His Gear, as in stuff that is written as such, is his pistol (Walter PPK of course), His Combat Tux (Effectively +2 leather armor). "Let off some steam" is a good one if he uses the trains smokestack (It will probably go off once every 3 rounds or somthing).
He has other "Gear", but that's actually just re-fluffed factotum class features, so if he doesn't get to use it, he never had it.

I really want him to knock somebody into water with sharks so he can say "He disagreed with something that ate him"

These are good, keep em coming. Also, any special rules for fighting on top of a train (I don't know, balance checks or something to avoid falling off)


Edit: When knocking somebody off the train, "You've got to stay on top of things".

Edit 2: Maybe I should replace the grease bottle with a ring that he uses for Shocking Grasp, then he could use the "Shocking" pun.

TengYt
2008-11-14, 11:16 AM
You should make this guy a recurring enemy, returning each time with a new set of gadgets and a new location. Or if he dies, have an identical agent appear somewhere, played by a different "actor." Eventually he'll become Daniel Craig and drop the puns for badassery.

kamikasei
2008-11-14, 11:27 AM
These are good, keep em coming. Also, any special rules for fighting on top of a train (I don't know, balance checks or something to avoid falling off)

No doubt in at least one Eberron sourcebook.

Wckd
2008-11-14, 11:30 AM
These home (http://www.jamesbondwiki.com/page/James+Bond+Quotes?t=anon) pages (http://www.jamesbondwiki.com/thread/1110843/Bond%27s+best+one-liners%3F?t=anon) might help you out! :smallcool:

Blackfang108
2008-11-14, 11:53 AM
You should make this guy a recurring enemy, returning each time with a new set of gadgets and a new location. Or if he dies, have an identical agent appear somewhere, played by a different "actor." Eventually he'll become Daniel Craig and drop the puns for badassery.

the problem being, if Daniel Craig is the bad guy, you've got your work cut out for you.

mroozee
2008-11-14, 11:55 AM
So I had a few lines that I liked, but my nephew had some worth sharing. I don't think he's ever seen a James Bond movie.

"I set you on fire and now you're burning?" (the burning? sounded funny to me... like, "I do you a favor and this is how you repay me?")

"[What do you mean by] there's grease in my pen? Did [you] put it there?"

"What about when I throw you off the train? You're going to cry!"

"I'm going to shoot you as much as I want and no one else gets to."

"I'm so strong you're going to keep losing!"

"If you don't have guns how do you think you're going to shoot me?"

KKL
2008-11-14, 12:00 PM
Nobody mentions the awesome one?

"No, [name]. I expect you to die."

Pronounceable
2008-11-14, 12:02 PM
You should make this guy a recurring enemy, returning each time with a new set of gadgets and a new location. Or if he dies, have an identical agent appear somewhere, played by a different "actor." Eventually he'll become Daniel Craig and drop the puns for badassery.
So there'll be a total of 6 770s? Would work fine.


Have to second the awful: "You need more training" one.

Calinero
2008-11-14, 01:28 PM
"Why don't you train some more, then come back for a real fight?" (as he tries to throw them off the train)

FoE
2008-11-14, 01:57 PM
If you splash someone with alcohol and then use the cigarrettes, borrow a page from the Scarecrow:

Take a seat. (Kick into chair) Have a drink. (Splash with alcohol) You look like a man who takes himself too seriously. Do you want my opinion? (Take out cigarrettes) You need to lighten up. :smallamused:

Also, if you intend to throw someone off the train, you need to grab them and say "Sorry, no ticket? THEN THIS IS YOUR STOP!"

Storm Bringer
2008-11-14, 02:01 PM
(as the party appears): What? You lot took out my men? I was expecting a threat, not bunch of posers.

After the first attack (espically if it missed): Nice try. Here's how a professional does it!

Casting grease at party tank: My, my, look who think's there're a sumo. here, let me oil you up.

on producing his gun: now this, ladies, gentlemen and (green skinned dunces/Kids with false beard/tree hugging hippies/other suitable racial slur), is a customised Boxer-henry .457 self loading pistol with expanded magazine, precision rifling and a cool Ivory handle. It was made at Johansens and Wilberts on Jester Street in Glossam, costs more than you earn in a year, and is damm well worth every penny. (opens fire)

as he lights the bombs fuse and is about to escape: well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got work, and a lovely young intern, to do.

after using a gadget to spectacular effect: God Bless the armouries. What will they think of next?

FoE
2008-11-14, 02:19 PM
If your PC is in the baggage car and a bunch of enemies pop out of suitcases or something, say "People will do anything these days to avoid paying the fare."

Also, I assume the villains have some scheme involving the train. Upon learning of the plan, your PC should say "Talk about your railroad plots ..."

Demented
2008-11-14, 10:15 PM
Puns:
Delay, i.e. "I'm afraid your friend will be delayed."
Trip, i.e. "Planning on taking a trip?"

To be used only when non-chalantly taking someone out with luggage:
"Carry on."

TengYt
2008-11-15, 07:03 AM
When tripping, don't forget "See you next autumn. I'm British, I do not believe in fall."

D Knight
2008-11-15, 05:47 PM
"I came prepaired for a cold reception" World is not Enough